00:00Welcome to the vibrant city of Montreal, a city steeped in rich history and adorned
00:05with iconic landmarks that tell tales of its past, which you might actually get to see
00:10while you're avoiding potholes, or on a construction detour, or enjoying the most bipolar weather
00:15in Canada.
00:16I'm Alex Malky, and we're about to find out what ChatGPT thinks are the top 5 main attractions
00:21in Montreal.
00:22I feel like it's going to suck.
00:25Our first stop is Mount Royal, from which the city takes its name.
00:28This majestic mountain offers breathtaking views, and is a symbol of Montreal's heritage.
00:34Designed by Frederick Law Olmsted, the renowned landscape architect behind New York's Central
00:38Park, Mount Royal is a beloved retreat for locals and visitors alike.
00:43I'm going to stop you right there, because this is already wrong.
00:45Freddie Law designed Mount Royal Park, not Mount Royal.
00:48How do you design a mountain?
00:50And listen, locals wouldn't even call it a mountain, they'd call it a really big hill.
00:53A hill, that when you get to the top of it, you're greeted with three things.
00:57One, feral tourists, all time of year, summer, winter, doesn't matter.
01:00Giant, but adorable raccoons.
01:02And, admittedly, the best view of the Montreal skyline.
01:06Now look, it is a bitch to go up those stairs in the summer, but when you get to the top and
01:10you see that view, it's worth sweating your ass off for.
01:12Our next landmark is the iconic Notre Dame Basilica.
01:15This architectural masterpiece stands as a testament to Montreal's rich religious history.
01:21It's gothic revival style and vibrant stained glass windows have captivated worshippers and
01:27art enthusiasts for centuries.
01:29I bet you 90% of Montrealers have taken a picture in front of this church, but have never stepped
01:34foot inside of it, which is a damn shame, because other than being the backdrop of Celine Dion's
01:38wedding, which, you know, whatever, it's actually beautiful inside, and it is the coolest place
01:43to watch a light projector show.
01:45I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it's dope.
01:48And here's what you do.
01:49You pop into an SQDC, buy yourself some legal edibles, and maybe you have yourself a religious
01:54experience.
01:55It's the one kind, not the died-for-your-sins kind, you know?
01:58Crossing over the mighty St. Lawrence River, we find the magnificent Jacques-Cartier Bridge.
02:03Named after the French explorer who claimed Canada for France, this iconic bridge has connected
02:09the island of Montreal to its south shore since 1930, serving as a vital transportation link
02:15and a symbol of unity.
02:17Listen, anybody that calls the Jacques-Cartier a landmark has probably never left their hometown,
02:21or the West Island.
02:22It's, at best, a C-tier Golden Gate Bridge that, for some reason, the city has decided
02:26to slap on a bunch of lights like it's a Christmas tree.
02:29I don't get it.
02:30And listen, they're probably going to have to rename it in a couple of years when JC gets
02:33cancelled, so don't get too attached.
02:35Steeped in history, the old port of Montreal is a vibrant district that traces its roots
02:40back to the city's early days.
02:42Originally a bustling trading hub, it now offers a perfect blend of old-world charm and modern entertainment.
02:49From its cobblestone streets to its waterfront promenades, the old port is a testament to
02:54Montreal's enduring spirit.
02:56Hear the words, goblestone streets, one more goddamn time, I'm going to lose my mind.
03:00The old port, and old Montreal in general, is Europe for people who have never been to
03:04Europe.
03:05And a very expensive first date, I learned that the hard way.
03:08But listen, if you're going to be in the old port, at least go over a block in old
03:11Montreal, do a little digging, find yourself some cool spots like El PequeƱo or Cauldron,
03:16which are conveniently right next to each other.
03:18Not that sad stretch of sand they call a beach.
03:21Last but not least, we arrive at the awe-inspiring Olympic Stadium.
03:26Constructed for the 1976 Summer Olympics, its iconic inclined tower and retractable roof
03:31have become symbols of the city.
03:33Today, the stadium hosts sporting events, concerts, and exhibitions, leaving a lasting
03:38legacy of athletic excellence and architectural grandeur.
03:41Big O, more like big waste of money, I'm sorry, that was terrible, I'm so sorry, but listen,
03:45does it look cool?
03:46Yes, objectively, it's awesome, it looks like a giant spaceship.
03:49Does it do anything?
03:50Nah, it's just kind of there, all the time, just staring at you like a giant hairy mole
03:54on your face.
03:55But right next to that hairy mole is the biodome, and the planetarium, and insectarium, and the
03:59botanical garden, all of which are way more worth your time and money.
04:04And if you have any more of those edibles left over, now's the time to gobble them down.
04:07Montreal's landmarks stand as pillars of the city's past, present, and future.
04:13They embody the diverse cultures, the resilience of its people, and the desire to create a city
04:18that merges tradition with innovation.
04:20Join us in Montreal, and immerse yourself in the stories woven within these five magnificent
04:25landmarks.
04:26Discover the magic, embrace the history, and let the spirit of this remarkable city captivate
04:31your heart.
04:32For more information that can actually help you find fun things to do and great places to
04:35eat, check out mtlblog.com.
04:38It's a website.
04:39We had to have those before TikTok.
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