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Emmerdale S54E247 Wednesday, 31st December 2025

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Fun
Transcript
00:00I
00:29Oi, where are you going?
00:54Work.
00:56Well, I've only been gone a minute.
00:57I thought I'd have a bit of brakkie in bed.
00:59Don't lie.
00:59You only want me for my delicious body.
01:02It's New Year's Eve.
01:03Come on, everyone else is skyping.
01:05Yeah, well, everyone else hasn't got cows to pen in.
01:08Hang on, is this because you want me tucked up because you're worried about Kev?
01:12No.
01:14He's gone quiet anyway, hasn't he?
01:15So hopefully he's found another ex-husband to terrorise.
01:18I'll tell you what, I'll nip into town and I'll get us a bottle of the good stuff for later.
01:22Right, okay, but I can't go too mad.
01:25Said I dropped my mum and Liam after that murder mystery thing.
01:28God, you're old.
01:29Hey, I'll get us some fireworks and all, yeah?
01:31Oh, well, don't make them too loud, will you?
01:32You know, because I'm getting on a bit.
01:34All right, go on, Dad.
01:35I'll tell you what, you need to cheer up because I'm starting this new year with a bag.
01:37Please tell me that Robert is not dead.
01:47Please tell me that Robert is not dead.
02:01He's not dead.
02:03He's not dead.
02:04Yet.
02:04Good.
02:06Because this whole thing needs a massive rethink.
02:11You can't faff about with some sex.
02:15Half the village is going to crack it.
02:17Which is why I'm choosing my moment carefully.
02:20Getting Robert alone.
02:22I'm not insane.
02:23Oh, yeah.
02:24Clearly not.
02:25You can hold on for food, yeah?
02:34Duty calls.
02:35Oh, duty.
02:37That's what we're calling it now, is it?
02:39Blowing Roberts to smithereens.
02:42You know, I've been mulling things over in your absence and...
02:45Well, there are other ways that this can end.
02:48No.
02:58No, I can't think of a single one.
03:06Ray?
03:07Hi, sorry, I was out the back.
03:09Ordering a boatload of mozzarella.
03:10You OK?
03:11I'm not going to see you later.
03:12A bit of, um, old Lanzine?
03:14Er, I'm sorry, I've got so much to sort.
03:17And, um...
03:19Look, you might as well know that I...
03:23I'm moving on.
03:25Eh?
03:26What do you mean?
03:27What, on, on?
03:29Yeah.
03:30I did say that's how it is in my line of work.
03:33Oh.
03:34What is it, er...
03:36Taxi for Ray before midnight, then?
03:38Yeah?
03:39What?
03:40What?
03:42Double time.
03:43I'm not made of money, Laurel.
03:45But I, er...
03:46I leave tomorrow.
03:50Right.
03:51OK.
03:51Oh, right.
03:53Er...
03:54So, is...
03:55What, is that it?
03:57So, I'm really confused.
03:59Did I do anything?
04:01No, it's not you.
04:02It's not you.
04:03Is this what you want?
04:04What I want, um...
04:06Er...
04:08Because if it is, that's absolutely fine.
04:10But, um...
04:14You know, cards on the table.
04:15I actually really like you.
04:18A lot.
04:19And I want you to stay here with me.
04:24Together?
04:25Yeah, together.
04:26I mean, I know...
04:27What?
04:27You know, it's really big and there's lots to consider.
04:30Like, you know, your work and your house and everything.
04:33But I, you know, I think...
04:36I think we're really worth a shot, don't you?
04:40Erm...
04:41Yeah?
04:42Yeah, look, I've...
04:43I've sprung it on you and I've embarrassed myself.
04:46So, um...
04:48You don't have to think now, OK, about it.
04:51You don't have to give me a decision.
04:52Just eat your pizza and, um...
04:53Oh.
04:53But I like you.
04:56You know a lot.
05:03I have to go back.
05:04I have to try again.
05:05You can't force Bear to leave.
05:07He thinks that him and Ray are like that.
05:09Yeah, well, Ray tried that number on us, remember?
05:12I mean, it doesn't help that, you know, Bear's lost it a bit.
05:15Not a bit.
05:15More like a lot.
05:18If we can't get him out by tomorrow,
05:20then Ray and Celia take him with us and then that's it.
05:22He's gone.
05:24Why don't we call the police?
05:26Dylan.
05:29The last time cops were mentioned, Ray tried to kill you.
05:32Yeah, and he'll kill you if he catches you.
05:34I know how to be careful.
05:35Yeah, and so do I, by not doing it.
05:38Look, I won't bear free to, all right, but I need you alive.
05:42So please don't.
05:45OK, fine, I won't, but I still need to go up there
05:47cos I told Ray that I'd help him back up.
05:50Will I see you later?
05:52Yeah.
05:53You'll get a midnight kiss, I promise.
05:59Right, ears to a new year of wedding mayhem and swollen ankles.
06:03And also, here's to piles.
06:05Oh, great, to weddings and piles.
06:07Oh, weddings and piles.
06:09Oh, weddings and piles.
06:13Oh.
06:15Oh, that tastes like carbonated dogweed.
06:18Yes, I was alcohol-free.
06:20Did I not mention?
06:21No, you did not.
06:23And just because you're up the duff doesn't mean we have to suffer.
06:26Except you might need a clear head.
06:27I need a teeny favour.
06:29To give our Sarah and your Jacob the best day ever.
06:33OK.
06:33How much do you want?
06:35It's not money she's after.
06:36Basically, bell rang, all right?
06:37There's some legal shenanigans, which means Sarah and Jacob cannot get hitched without giving notice.
06:4329 days.
06:44We're pros now, aren't we?
06:45Yeah.
06:45And the wedding's due to our what?
06:48To our...
06:48Yes.
06:49Why are we whispering?
06:51Because Jacob and Sarah don't know you dimwits.
06:54So, what do you want me to do?
06:57Slip one of your council cronies a bob or two to sign the papers.
07:01And then wangle us a registrar who doesn't mind working on a year's day.
07:04Oh, yes.
07:06Anything else?
07:07Like resurrecting Elvis Presley?
07:10Well, I might need a small peanut if I'm going to be stuck here waiting.
07:18I love you, Presley.
07:25Babe, I just need to pop out, get some party poppers.
07:27You see to Kerry, yeah?
07:32What are you up to?
07:35Nothing.
07:35I, er...
07:36I'm just bored.
07:37I thought I'd come see if you needed a hand with anything.
07:40Oh, it's funny you should say that.
07:42Get in.
07:43I've got something for you.
07:58It's a late Christmas present.
07:59Hey, steady.
08:08It got messy last time you did that.
08:10Why do you still have that?
08:11Erm, it's insurance.
08:13Just funny enough, April, there was a time when I didn't trust you.
08:18There's nothing like a murder weapon to ease the paranoia.
08:21I don't want it.
08:22What, not even the sheets and towels from the clean-up?
08:25No, not any of it.
08:27Well, neither do I.
08:28So I figured we could bury it in 2025 and never mention it again.
08:33And then we can toddle off, make a fresh start.
08:38Agreed?
08:40I guess.
08:43Good.
08:44Well, lucky I've got a spade in the back, hasn't it?
08:51Round two?
08:53Er, I think it's round 52 by now.
08:55Look, Mrs Gobby got way too gobby for her own good the other day.
09:01Me?
09:03No, Vanessa, me.
09:05This is me apologising.
09:07Oh, well.
09:08Tar for flagging that up.
09:09Bye then.
09:11The test results are back.
09:13Bad.
09:14No good.
09:16There's no dodgy rogue genetics going on.
09:18Yay!
09:18And you were right.
09:21I had my big, fat, irrational head on.
09:24I'm sorry.
09:25I just wanted peace of mind.
09:27And now you've got it.
09:28Came up smelling of roses yet again.
09:32Excuse me, I thought you'd just want to know the baby was OK.
09:34I do.
09:35For Sarah.
09:37This result doesn't change the lies you're telling about Carrie and her kid.
09:40And before you start, again, I didn't send that stupid note.
09:46Obviously someone else knows your sordid little secret.
09:48Have you heard yourself?
09:50So sanctimonious.
09:51You make Claudette look rock and roll.
09:53I won't apologise for having morals.
09:55No, not when it suits.
09:57Well, how about you stop nebbing into my life and get one of your own?
10:01Because sad, bitter, lonely old woman, not strong luck for you, Vanessa.
10:18Surely it's deep enough by now.
10:39What, you want so much mud to dig it up?
10:42What is this?
11:08Breen, why have you brought an empty bag?
11:19What is going on?
11:22I'm sorry, April.
11:25But it's over.
11:26What is this?
11:43Oh, no.
11:43So that's for me.
12:12You're going to put me in there, are you?
12:14Mum, it's tired of you.
12:16You know, poking around, always asking questions.
12:19I don't know what you mean.
12:21You can't come away with us.
12:23You know too much. We need to set up clean.
12:26You can't...
12:27You're like a bad hangover.
12:29Always ready to run your mouth.
12:31No. No.
12:32Because if you go away, I promise that I will never say a word again.
12:36That's not how Mum wants it.
12:38Look, if I disappear, then the first thing that Dad and Marona will do
12:42is go to the police and then that'll be worse for you.
12:44Yeah, but you've run away before.
12:46You've just done it again.
12:48They'll never buy it.
12:49April, this was always a possibility.
12:53No. No, you can't. Please.
12:56No, no, no. Don't start crying.
12:57No, stop bawling, shut up!
12:58No, stop!
12:59No, stop!
13:00No, stop!
13:01No, stop!
13:02No, stop!
13:13You OK, hon?
13:15It didn't detonate, did it?
13:16Oh, really?
13:17You know what that is, don't you?
13:20That bomb not going off.
13:22That's a sign.
13:24You know why?
13:25Because me and you...
13:27What?
13:28Our futures, they're intertwined.
13:31What?
13:32Because first I kill Robert and then I kill you.
13:35What do you say that, boy?
13:37Death.
13:38Messy, innit?
13:40Right, just be brutally honest with me, just for a minute.
13:49What is it that you actually want?
13:51Aaron, obviously.
13:52Ding, ding!
13:53Correct answer.
13:54Now, going by that logic,
13:57do you really think that killing Robert is the sort of thing
14:00that's going to make Aaron think,
14:01oh, actually, do you know what?
14:03I am banging at this guy, after all.
14:04I can work on that.
14:05No, you really can't.
14:07I mean, it's obvious, innit?
14:13I run off with Robert,
14:16you run off with Aaron,
14:18we both get what we want,
14:20everybody lives happily ever after
14:22and nobody has to die.
14:24Simple.
14:25Yeah.
14:26It is, innit?
14:28I mean, I admit it.
14:31You killed that Nate character, wasn't it?
14:34Not really a bit of you, was it?
14:36I mean, imagine...
14:40Imagine having two more corpses on your hands.
14:44I'm not sure you'd ever sleep again at night.
14:51Aww.
14:52I didn't know Van Gogh was invited.
14:55Oh!
14:56Happy New Year!
14:59We did say do it in the cheap.
15:03Great.
15:04What about the wedding ballads?
15:05Have we checked them?
15:06Or does it say congratulations on your bedding?
15:10So, Pollard,
15:11please tell me my blood pressure is not soaring for nothing.
15:14Er, alas, I...
15:18failed to be as useless as Mac.
15:21Papers forged, registrar booked.
15:24Come here, you crafty old dog!
15:27Snogging fellas already?
15:30Not even midnight yet.
15:31Large Merlot, please.
15:33We are just warming up for Sarah and Jacob's big I-do's tomorrow.
15:39But shhh, cos it's a secret.
15:43Charity loves those.
15:45Tell her, Tracy.
15:47Oh!
15:48Come together!
15:49Can you just try and stop me?
15:56Ah!
15:57Ah!
15:58Ah!
15:59Ah!
16:00Ah!
16:01Ah!
16:02Ah!
16:03Ah!
16:04Ah!
16:05Ah!
16:06Ah!
16:08Ah!
16:09Ah!
16:10Ah!
16:11Ah!
16:12Ah!
16:13Ah!
16:14Ah!
16:15Ah!
16:16Ah!
16:17Ah!
16:18Ah!
16:19Ah!
16:20Ah!
16:21No!
16:22No, no, no, don't do this!
16:23Not for her!
16:24I have to.
16:26If Celia wants this, then where is she?
16:29Why is she making you do it?
16:31It's the way it is.
16:33She made you hurt Dylan.
16:35I know you didn't want to.
16:37You're glad you didn't die.
16:39You would have hated yourself for it.
16:41And you know that Celia is wrong, but you're trapped and you can't get out.
16:45You need to be quiet.
16:47If Celia really loved you, then she wouldn't ask you to do the things that she does.
16:52No.
16:53No mum would.
16:54Not real mum.
16:56Stop talking.
16:58But you're not like her.
16:59You're not.
17:00I just...
17:01I want my dad.
17:02Please.
17:03I need my dad.
17:04Please.
17:05You have to get him abroad.
17:22Out of the country.
17:24Easy peasy.
17:25I've got a mate with Lauren who owes me a favour.
17:28Next.
17:29Aaron.
17:30Cannot see him ever again.
17:32Not even a Christmas card.
17:35Robert's working in the farm.
17:37Top barn.
17:38Yeah.
17:39Excellent.
17:41Do you know where Aaron is?
17:44Always.
17:48Banging.
17:49So that is me and Robert off to the Costa del Sol.
17:52Ordering a full English breakfast off one of them little plastic menus with the photos of the food on it.
17:57Yeah.
17:58Call your mate.
17:59Yeah?
18:00Get Robert.
18:01Now.
18:02Oh mate.
18:03I am an absolute weapons grade raging psychopath but I'm not stupid.
18:20But me and you.
18:21Teaming up for you to get Aaron back.
18:22You absolute utter freak.
18:23Aaron is laughing at you as so am I.
18:36Adios amigo.
18:37It's getting late.
18:38Where are you?
18:39Give us a call.
18:40Yeah.
18:41Er.
18:42Marlon.
18:43Have you seen April?
18:44No.
18:45Should have.
18:46I think she's shopping the smut about her new jets.
18:47Oh.
18:48You er.
18:49You two got party plans?
18:50What limping about to do a leap?
18:51You know.
18:52Swing by hours.
18:53We can all say bog off to the world's worst year.
18:56Alright.
18:57Yeah maybe I'll see what April's up for.
18:58I just want a drink.
18:59I'll just come here to drink.
19:00It's cheating.
19:01We'll go for it ma'am.
19:02Cheers.
19:03Cheers.
19:04Cheers.
19:33Cheers.
19:50Do you think that's it though?
19:51Do you think he's gone for good?
19:53Crazy as he is.
19:54He's not daft.
19:56Police are on his tail.
19:57He's legged it.
19:58He's gone.
19:59Okay.
20:00Well then I'll pour as another.
20:02No.
20:03Come on.
20:04Hey.
20:05Let's go set these up.
20:06Wait.
20:07Wait.
20:08Actually.
20:09Just erm.
20:10Come here.
20:11So impatient.
20:12I've been waiting years for this.
20:15Happy New Year.
20:17Happy New Year.
20:18Tell me what's going on.
20:23Shut up.
20:24I'm thinking.
20:28Run.
20:32Didn't you hear me?
20:33Oh.
20:43The ball's in your court.
20:45What?
20:46What about Celia?
20:47I don't know.
20:48Well.
20:49She won't let this drop.
20:50I know.
20:51She'll kill us.
20:52So run.
20:53What?
20:54What?
20:55What about Celia?
20:56I don't know.
20:57Well.
20:58She won't let this drop.
20:59I know.
21:00She'll kill us.
21:01So run.
21:02What?
21:03Where?
21:04Anywhere.
21:05Stay away.
21:06I can't do this.
21:07Not anymore.
21:08I want out.
21:09I want a...
21:10I want a different life.
21:11Yeah.
21:12Listen.
21:13I will deal with Celia.
21:14You disappear.
21:15If you come back alive, she won't stop until all your family are dead.
21:20So go.
21:21Go!
21:22Go!
21:52Go!
21:54Go!
21:55Go!
21:56Go!
21:57Go!
21:58Oh!
21:59Go!
22:00Go!
22:01Go!
22:02Go!
22:04Go!
22:05Transcription by CastingWords
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