- 18 minutes ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
01:29There she is, Mrs. Rollins, freshly bathed for her journey.
01:35Thank you, Lottie.
01:36You've been incredibly kind.
01:38A mother at long last.
01:42Auf Wiedersehen, Vanellope.
01:44May you have a blessed future.
01:46General Harrison's eggnog.
02:06Bourbon, neat, whole milk.
02:13Grootsy pals, that's hello in Switzerland.
02:16Grasshopper, Danka.
02:20Prepare to leave your Palm Beach worries at the door and become newer, better European versions of ourselves on the continental continent.
02:27Are you ready to capture Norma and throw her in a dark hole forever and ever, amen?
02:33What happened to leaving our troubles at the door?
02:35This isn't an ordinary trouble.
02:36This is a tripart mission.
02:38One, avenge my sister.
02:39Two, get you out of the basement of the FBI.
02:42And three, give you a lights-out, explosive headline that's bound to win to a Pulitzer.
02:47Three stones, one, identity, thieving, murderous.
02:50Even so rather thrilling.
02:52Maybe some time away might give me a fresh career perspective.
02:56Nothing like some alpine air and an international woman hunt to clear the mind.
03:02Evelyn, listen, I want...
03:04Oh, okay.
03:04I wanted to thank you as my conservatress for coming with me on this Swiss sojourn.
03:09I'm not coming abroad with you.
03:11I'm coming abroad with my gorgeous husband.
03:13Right, darling?
03:14A perfect opportunity for a late honeymoon.
03:17Son, ski, me.
03:18It'll be nice to take a break from the stress of the business.
03:23What stress of the business?
03:25Oh, look, it's the incubator waddling in for a landing.
03:28Oh, everyone, clear the path.
03:30Make sure there's no tripping hazards here.
03:32VIP, very important passenger, coming through.
03:35Shut the fuck up, Maxine.
03:36Please, hold the sauce, sister.
03:38I'm just trying to help you out.
03:39Like when you played dead and haunted me?
03:42I could kill you.
03:43I really could.
03:43Are we about to have an incident?
03:46No.
03:46No incident.
03:47Because any incident you cause will be cause for rejection.
03:51As a decorated airman, you have my solemn air crew vow that there will be no cause for
03:56rejection between my ex-wife and my wife.
03:59You?
04:00A pilot?
04:01Yes, ma'am.
04:02I proudly flew the Dallas-Cleveland-Atlanta route for 20 solid years.
04:06Oh, big mom.
04:08Yeah, big mom.
04:09Yeah, big mom.
04:11Good job, Dave.
04:12Big mom.
04:13String philosophy.
04:14Douglas, I think the air hostesses are making fun of you.
04:18Bula and Bula were big men too once.
04:23In the war.
04:24In the war, we were huge men.
04:27We were fighter pilots.
04:28Now we're back to doing women's while pushing vorm nuts.
04:32Only good part of every speech layover is taking Bula's blame for a spin.
04:37I docked it at our sister's La Chalet Villa that rip.
04:43Where's the bathroom?
04:45In the rear.
04:47Take your seats.
04:50Go ahead.
04:51Is there anything about me in there?
05:03What are you doing here?
05:04For your informazione, we are on a secret mission.
05:08Patch Post is threatening to spread a rumor that I'm Nixon's paramour.
05:12And my only salvation from societal ruin is the dim hope that Axel has some bejeweled eggs stuffed in a safety deposit box.
05:21The Black Widow and her mustachioed man on an international gambit full of intrigue and jewels and scandal?
05:28Why, you two are the Jenna and James Bond of Palm Beach.
05:31When you put it in those Maximian terms, that's a spirit.
05:36Let's take off.
05:41It's not my decision.
06:05It's not my decision.
06:08It's not my decision.
06:09It's not my decision.
06:10It's not my decision.
06:11It's not my decision.
06:12It's not my decision.
06:13It's not my decision.
06:14It's not my decision.
06:15It's not my decision.
06:16It's not my decision.
06:17It's not my decision.
06:18It's not my decision.
06:19It's not my decision.
06:20It's not my decision.
06:21It's not my decision.
06:22It's not my decision.
06:23It's not my decision.
06:24It's not my decision.
06:25It's not my decision.
06:26It's not my decision.
06:27It's not my decision.
06:28It's not my decision.
06:29It's not my decision.
06:30It's not my decision.
06:31It's not my decision.
06:32It's not my decision.
06:33It's not my decision.
06:34Did you visit your portrait?
06:49I still don't understand how it's possible.
06:52Switzerland is how.
06:54It never takes sides in the who's who and the what's what of the world.
06:57And it's more than happy to oblige the wealth and whims of one of its greatest families.
07:04Of which you are now legally a member.
07:08Yes, but a painting doesn't make me a telecorpore, Norma.
07:13In Switzerland, names are given, names are taken.
07:18And now, you have one of the most powerful, my son.
07:28Pardon me, ma'am.
07:30Oh.
07:30Is this he taken?
07:32Where's Mitzi?
07:34Oh, she's in the bathroom again.
07:38That is quite a spiffy travel coat.
07:40Oh, yeah.
07:41The telecorpore ski jacket.
07:43I always wore it when I, uh...
07:45Went skiing?
07:47Yeah.
07:49It's kind of like old times, huh?
07:53You and me, up in the clouds.
07:55I can't stop thinking about you.
08:06Douglas.
08:07Stop.
08:09I'm not gonna do to Mitzi what she did to me.
08:11Okay.
08:14Look, here's what I'm thinking.
08:16Once the baby comes and we free up the money, then I'll divorce Mitzi.
08:21I'll put her up someplace really nice.
08:24And you and I can get remarried.
08:26And I'll be a father.
08:27And as long as you're okay with having someone else's kid in our life, then...
08:33Then we could have it all.
08:36Yeah.
08:37The money, the name, the house.
08:40Well, maybe not the house.
08:42Unless you want to shack up with a robber.
08:43Speaking of that...
08:48There's something I want to tell you.
08:52Gosh, how do I say this?
08:54Norma isn't Norma.
08:56Her real name is Agnes, and she's an imposter.
08:59So it's not really her house to give away in the first place.
09:01Hey, you're talking Swahili here, Max.
09:03Okay, you know, just focus on this.
09:04The house, the money, the fortune...
09:06All of it is...
09:08It's already yours.
09:10I'm sorry, I didn't tell you earlier.
09:14I just didn't...
09:14You didn't want me to squander away the money before you got your half.
09:19No.
09:19God, you know me so well.
09:21I do.
09:26Don't mind me.
09:30Gin and Tommy, please.
09:34What a nice watch, man.
09:36Evelyn got it for me.
09:37Oh.
09:38What was the occasion?
09:40She just loves me?
09:43Of course.
09:47I am sorry about the pickle the murder of my sister put the Pomeroy Al in.
09:51That is the least of our worries.
09:55Have a seat.
10:00Worries, you say?
10:03Do tell.
10:03Do tell.
10:03Do tell.
10:03Do tell.
10:05Do tell.
10:07Do tell.
10:09You and me are going to tête-à -tête.
10:16Tête-à -tête.
10:17It's French, for even though you have a bun in that oven, Douglas most certainly did not
10:21do the baking.
10:22In fact, I think a certain alligator wrangler's spermatozoa is multiplying in that tiny uterus
10:28of yours, even as we speak.
10:29Your French stinks.
10:31They say a picture speaks a thousand words.
10:34I'm a very popular face in Palm Beach.
10:38Lots of men have my picture.
10:39Sure.
10:40I see.
10:41And do you love lots of men in Palm Beach, forever and ever?
10:45Either I blow the lid off this joint, or you give me half that baby money when the kid
10:50is born.
10:51I can't give you half the baby trust because Douglas already promised it to Maxine.
10:57Much to my chagrin.
10:59Chagrin?
11:00That's French for leave me the fuck alone.
11:02No.
11:11Come here often?
11:13Why the smug mug?
11:15Little birdie told me you might be having some problems with the old IRS.
11:18Well, it seems little birdies are in season because one just told me you're about to come
11:21into scads of money once Mitzi pops out her nugget.
11:25Yes, well, your little birdie tweets truth.
11:27And maybe I could send some of those scads over to the IRS on your behalf.
11:34Out with the if I sniff.
11:36If your business becomes my business.
11:39We're partners at the Palm Royale.
11:42I do believe I have you by the balls, if that's the right saying.
11:46Fine.
11:47Well, it has to be different this time.
11:49No scheming or double dealing.
11:51No secrets.
11:52In that case, um, I, um, I, I may have accidentally...
11:58Stepped out on Eddie.
11:59I know.
11:59I saw the apology watch.
12:00What are you talking about?
12:02Evelyn, everyone in Palm Beach knows when someone gives their significant other a fancy
12:07piece of jewelry when it is not a birthday or a holiday, they are indeed saying I'm sorry
12:11without saying I'm sorry.
12:13I feel horrible even after giving him the watch.
12:17Take it from me.
12:18Be honest from the start, and then move on.
12:22Look at me and Douglas.
12:23Not the best example.
12:25Just do it today.
12:28Please.
12:29Promise.
12:30Promise.
12:31Please take your seats and strap in.
12:34Things are about to get a little bumpy.
12:37Oh, dear.
12:38This hotel has a fascinating history.
12:46First it was a convent, and then it became the Flugenorgon, an all-girls boarding school
12:50before converting to a wartime hospital.
12:52Oh, there's another chapter, Anne, don't forget.
12:54When Norma Delacorte, nay, Agnes Hoosiewicz, it was boondoggled and hornswoggled.
13:00That's not what boondoggled means.
13:02What's your plan, Gumshoe?
13:03You gonna storm the lobby and throw a butterfly net over her?
13:06No.
13:06It's kind of funny, huh?
13:08You all travel all the way to the other side of the world for a vacation, and you end up
13:12with the exact same people.
13:14That's just how rich people travel.
13:16It's a hurting instinct.
13:17Well, speak for yourself.
13:18I've never been to this hotel.
13:19It was Skeet and his first wife's special place.
13:22I never wanted to go because I didn't want to be haunted by her ghost.
13:25Being haunted's no fun, right, Maxine?
13:27Mitzi, you really must let that go.
13:29Besides, it was Virginia's idea.
13:31Oh, hell no.
13:32I'm not a part of this.
13:33We all just need to move on.
13:36Well, you know what I'm looking forward to the most?
13:39Skiing.
13:41Oh, same here.
13:43We used to play a game at a boarding school called Bum Bum Rush, and we'd get silly on
13:48peppermint shops and race down the mountain in our skivvies.
13:51Oh, such a gasp.
13:56I'm right here, Dinah.
13:58There's no need to broadcast your skivvies.
14:01Listen, when we get to the premises, boys, you take all the luggage.
14:04Ladies, we'll fan out and look for Robert.
14:06He's the heart and soul of Palm Beach, and he's never done anything bad to any one of us.
14:11We need to bring our native son home.
14:13Agreed?
14:13All right.
14:14Put the pedal to the metal.
14:15We got to burn it off.
14:19Oh, Mr. Hill, here's to go.
14:21We're the car!
14:21Oh, he's rolling!
14:24Oh, he's rolling!
14:25We've been expecting you.
14:42Welcome to the film.
14:44We found him.
14:45Robert.
14:46Maxine thought you'd be stuffed in a dungeon.
14:49Still on your manhunt.
14:50What are you planning to do?
14:52Throw a giant butterfly net over her?
14:55No.
14:56Of course, Norma Nia would arrive because of the verification of the baby.
15:00She left a while ago.
15:02I'll be at the bar.
15:04Me too.
15:05She left this for you.
15:11Maxine.
15:12By the time you read this, I'll be long gone.
15:16One step ahead of you, as always.
15:18Please enjoy the skiing, hot buttered beer, and our famous Herben Hemiflugens.
15:26Swiss kidney chowder.
15:29From my gap year in Leipzig.
15:31Norma was always a fabulous host.
15:34My son, Robert, will see to your every maid.
15:38Son?
15:43Norma was pregnant.
15:47Norma adopted me.
15:49I am now a Delacorte.
15:51Officially.
15:51Is this because you and I had a fight?
15:55Maxine, not everything is about you.
15:57I'm just trying to find a peaceful life.
15:59Norma's not even Norma, you know.
16:01So all of it, the life, the Delacorte mansion, it's not yours.
16:06In fact, it's Douglas'.
16:07In fact, it's Douglas'.
16:08Prove it.
16:15You bet your bottom dollar I'm going to prove it.
16:21Her bellwoman Lottie will assist you from here on.
16:23Lottie?
16:24Oh, God.
16:28Auf Wiedersehen.
16:30Oh, that means goodbye.
16:34Lottie, is it?
16:36Um, would you mind directing us to the bank?
16:38Of course.
16:39You just hop on the gondola,
16:41take it all the way to the tippy-top of the mountain,
16:44just above the Hall of Delacorte.
16:46Same whole hall.
16:48Well, jerks.
16:49Yes, hi, hi, hi.
16:52I was wondering if the honeymoon suite might be available.
16:56We're at capacity due to Frampus' weekend.
16:59What the hell is Frampus' weekend?
17:01Well, Frampus was Frampus' mistress.
17:04Who's Frampus?
17:06Our Santa Claus.
17:08Demonic rat bastard.
17:10Frampus was Mr. and Mrs. Frampus' maid.
17:14When Mrs. Frampus found out that she was stopping her husband,
17:17she threw her into the fireplace
17:20and burned her for being a...
17:23conniving?
17:26Lying?
17:31Adulteress?
17:32I believe that's yours.
17:33No, it's yours.
17:34Witch.
17:35Give it to me.
17:36Ladies, new plan.
17:39We have to prove that Norma is not Norma.
17:41What? Find Norma bones?
17:43I don't know. Just start digging.
17:45I'm not digging for some decades-old identity theft.
17:48This is not going to help my career.
17:49Excuse me.
17:50Sorry if I don't have a bunch of Russian moles scurrying around.
17:53This is the best we got.
17:54What Russian mole?
17:55Seriously?
17:56Sorry.
17:57Nothing.
17:59Virginia, is this true?
18:01Hey, Max, come on. It's time to get to the bank.
18:02Okay, just nose around, see what you can sniff out.
18:06Mitzi!
18:07Tick-tock!
18:08We've got to go to the bank.
18:10I'll be there in a minute.
18:11I just need to call my doctor.
18:12Wind from south, 40 knots.
18:16Big storm brewing tomorrow.
18:18Let me guess.
18:19Winging your alligator sommelier?
18:21No.
18:22Get on the gondola, bitch.
18:25Evelyn!
18:27Oh, ready to hit the slopes?
18:29Actually, I thought we could do some whore broom decorating.
18:33I'm sorry. I'm positive I misheard you.
18:35Whore broom decorating?
18:37The locals celebrate Frampus weekend by decorating brooms like women and burning them.
18:40It could be fun.
18:44So fun.
18:48What an asshole.
18:50Now I'm a guest in his hotel?
18:52Well, he has the stones to steal my house.
18:55Our house.
18:56We'll get it back.
18:57We just have to prove Norma isn't Norma.
18:59That crazy old crackerjack.
19:01Can't believe she offed her roommate.
19:03Don't call her crazy, Perry.
19:06That is just a label society puts on women.
19:09Exhibit A, Frampus.
19:11Exhibit B, me.
19:13Match pose threatening me with her smear campaign.
19:17We should just cut, babe.
19:19Head for the hills.
19:20Become Swiss snow people.
19:22But what about the children?
19:27Oh, right.
19:29The boarding school is awfully close.
19:33Austria, then.
19:34I'm sorry.
19:35You have children?
19:37I have four.
19:39Oh.
19:39I'm not the father.
19:41That's husband number one.
19:42Yeah.
19:43But I do like to think of them as my own.
19:46Hmm.
19:47For two days every other year.
19:49Bless my babies.
19:52Oh, look.
19:52I think I see the bank.
19:53Where?
19:53Look, on the top of the mountain.
19:56Oh, you would think after so many years,
19:59I would get used to the altitude,
20:01but I swear it is still a real knob gobbler.
20:05Were you here when this was a boarding school?
20:07Before that, Toots.
20:09Do you happen to remember Norma Delacorte by any chance?
20:12Oh, yes, Norma.
20:14Of course.
20:16A real spitfire.
20:18It's a shame she had to leave after her father died,
20:21but as is our good fortune,
20:23she has been our benefactress ever since.
20:26She loved her alma mater.
20:28What about a little girl named Agnes?
20:32I don't remember her.
20:36You know what you really should do?
20:39What's that?
20:40Ask me about me.
20:41I have had a very interesting life,
20:44but all anybody cares about are the young patooties.
20:48Did you know that I used to be a nun?
20:51I know.
20:52Hard to think of a sexual muffin like me
20:55hiding all of my bushels.
20:56I was a hot-to-trop girl.
21:00So, they stuck me in a convent.
21:04Nothing more frightening than a sexual woman.
21:08You two understand.
21:09How long you been together?
21:11Oh, we're just work colleagues.
21:14I'd like us to be equal partners,
21:16but one of us won't let the other one in
21:18on her top secret secrets.
21:20Sure, partners.
21:22Is that your word now?
21:24I'm a Catholic.
21:26We love your phumisms.
21:27Oh, look, there's Frampus.
21:30Fine-looking woman, eh?
21:32Her face looks like it's falling off.
21:35Well, what do you expect?
21:36Her boss threw her into the fire.
21:45Something in the buttermilk ain't clean.
21:46Maybe they're closed.
22:07Hello?
22:08Sorry about debate.
22:11Only one man on deck.
22:14Me, Borg,
22:15everyone else took off for the Frampus weekend.
22:18Yes, we've heard.
22:20You're all going to the Horbroom burning tonight?
22:23Yours truly is master of ceremonies.
22:26I'm sorry.
22:28From down here,
22:29you are the spitting image of...
22:32My brother, Benny.
22:34You're Benny Barnhill's twin brother.
22:37We're a mirror image identical.
22:40Twins?
22:41I'm a twin.
22:42Oh, gosh, isn't it wonderful?
22:43It's like two hearts beating as one.
22:45I haven't talked to that dark schlock in 40 years.
22:49Oh.
22:51Hello, Dinah Donahue.
22:53My fiancé, Axel Rosenhips,
22:55is recently deceased,
22:57and we would like to visit his safety deposit box.
23:00Rightio.
23:00Oh, and let me guess,
23:03the rest of you are here for the baby verification, right?
23:08Looks good.
23:09She is pregnant.
23:12Oh.
23:12That's it?
23:13Oh, no, of course not.
23:15Safety deposit boxes are upstairs.
23:18Everybody else,
23:20join me at my big desk.
23:24Big desk.
23:25Oh.
23:26Oh.
23:27Oh, that's for that, yeah.
23:28Okay.
23:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:31Nine, nine, nine.
23:33Okay.
23:34So,
23:36it looks like we just need the signature of the ex-wife
23:40so that she can release her claim on the funds
23:42and then we can,
23:43as you are there, I can say,
23:45get the zigan on the road.
23:47Okay, that's me.
23:49Hello, ex-wife.
23:50Ready to sign.
23:51Belt certificate.
23:52Oh, yes.
23:53There you go.
23:54No grandparents, no parents, no kids.
23:56Dead twin.
23:57Oh.
23:58Oh.
23:58Uh,
23:59there is no Maxine Wharton on the claim.
24:03We need the signature of, uh,
24:06Penelope Rawlins.
24:10What?
24:11Why?
24:12We were never married,
24:13only engaged.
24:15Well, her name was at the desk of beneficiary,
24:18yet some apparent.
24:20Okay.
24:20Moment of truth.
24:22Huh?
24:27Nothing.
24:31Nothing?
24:32And I assume you need her signature
24:34before you can release the funds, correct?
24:37That is correct.
24:38Unless all parties have signed by midnight
24:41on the hundredth year of the trust endowment,
24:44it becomes the property of the Swiss government.
24:47Oh, God.
24:49Oh, God.
24:49I'm going to have the worst reputation
24:51in Palm Beach for centuries.
24:54Oh, my God.
24:55I'm certain I'm going to certainly regret asking this,
24:57but when is that hundredth anniversary?
25:01Tomorrow.
25:03Jesus.
25:04Tomorrow.
25:05There you go.
25:08Wait, wait, wait.
25:10What?
25:11Sometimes I wake in the dead of night
25:13to see Agnes staring at me.
25:17I swear she's planning something horrid.
25:26So this means none of us get any money?
25:30This was all for nothing.
25:31Not nothing.
25:33But not $82 million.
25:36No, no, no.
25:36Let me think.
25:38So Linda is still in Poland,
25:41currently on tour with the Bolshoi Ballet.
25:50Ladies.
25:53Hello.
25:54I was wondering if your plane happened to be nearby.
25:57Of course.
25:58Um, would you mind if my ex-husband borrowed it
26:02to perform an act of economic heroism?
26:06I'm not letting Mr. Big Steve take off on my string head.
26:12What you need?
26:15It's a very, very dangerous mission.
26:18It would require courage
26:21and death-defined female bravery.
26:25Go on.
26:26You would need to fly behind the iron curtain
26:29to extract a woman
26:30who is being forced to wash dance belts
26:32against her will.
26:39Yes?
26:40Is that a yes?
26:41Yes.
26:41Oh, thank you very much indeed.
26:55Mm-hmm.
26:57There.
26:59All done.
27:01Who does that look like?
27:03Me?
27:04Mamie Eisenhower.
27:06I'm in desperate need of another cocktail.
27:10Would you mind?
27:12For me?
27:20Hello?
27:21Urgent news.
27:22I don't have to sign the baby papers.
27:24Linda does.
27:25Fuck a duck.
27:26No, no.
27:27You can keep that pal of urgent.
27:28I solved it.
27:29I-I send the two Swedish stews over to Poland to fetch her.
27:32And she'll be here by morn.
27:33Wait a minute.
27:34You mean to tell me you knew where she was this whole time?
27:37I know.
27:38I'm sorry.
27:39It was a secret that I was keeping before we made our pact.
27:42Listen, she's going to get here and sign the pa-
27:44Well, Fudge, I just realized I had to show my birth certificate.
27:49How are we going to prove that Linda is who we say she is?
27:52Well, Linda was born here.
27:54There's got to be a record of it somewhere.
27:56I'll talk to that old Lottie coot.
27:58Good thinking, pal.
28:00Have you told Eddie yet?
28:07The watch will have to suffice.
28:09Well, if it makes you feel any better, I-I have been contemplating having an affair with my ex-husband.
28:14You cannot do that, Maxine.
28:17Well, why?
28:18Because if Mitzi finds out, she'll divorce him and then no one gets any money?
28:23Yes, and also, it's bad.
28:26Bad things come from bad things.
28:28Look at Frampus.
28:29It's true.
28:30Oh, I don't know what I was thinking.
28:32And he's about to have a child with another woman.
28:36Would it change things if he wasn't, um, having a child with a-another woman?
28:44Of course.
28:46I'm happy for him, I guess.
28:49In some way.
28:50I don't know.
28:51It's complicated.
28:53Yes, it is.
28:55Just do what I say and do not have sex, Maxine.
28:58I mean it.
29:03Your drink, my lady.
29:05Oh, I'm so sorry, darling.
29:07I'm going to have to take it on the run.
29:09I've got pressing business to attend to regarding our future, but you enjoy yourself.
29:13What?
29:13What about our horror brooms?
29:20I don't understand.
29:21How did Evelyn get my picture?
29:23She found it in my wallet, which fell out of my pants because I was having sex with her.
29:28You had sex with Evelyn?
29:30Hey, I'm just doing what I have to do.
29:34I'm fucking playing dress up with a fucking crazy lady who thinks I'm a ghost.
29:38I'm doing my part.
29:39You do yours.
29:40I'm having a baby.
29:43Is that not sufficient, Jed?
29:45Kill Evelyn.
29:47I can't do that.
29:49I'm pregnant.
29:51Oh, bootlegger.
29:52I'm ready for my bubble bath.
29:56Do what I said or don't come home.
29:59We weren't supposed to hurt people.
30:11Castle!
30:11Grasshopper to go, my good salaud.
30:18Oh, stag brother, prepare to reclaim your birthright.
30:28James and Jenna Bond, have your proof.
30:32The real Norma wrote my Axel all about her creepy roommate, Agnes, who, guess what, was plotting something horrid.
30:42I knew it.
30:43Oh, I did it.
30:44I saved the day.
30:46Actually, we did.
30:47Hit the slope.
30:49Yeah.
30:50Good luck.
30:52Dearest Axel, Agnes is at it again.
30:55And she's always lurking in the shadows, like some sort of ghost.
30:59She's usually quite peculiar.
31:02In many ways, her behavior has taken a turn that is more unsettling.
31:06I do not know what to do.
31:08Oh!
31:10What a beautiful day, man.
31:12Incredible.
31:14You should take a trip down the bunny slope.
31:15Potter is sublime.
31:18What are you wearing?
31:21My Delacorte ski jacket.
31:23Every Delacorte man has one.
31:26Oh, no.
31:29No, no, no.
31:31First you steal my house.
31:33Then you steal my identity.
31:34I will not let you steal my Delacorte ski jacket.
31:38This one's mine, not yours.
31:41Har, har, har.
31:42What, you have something on your throat?
31:44Har, har, har!
31:46Dinah?
31:47Did you hear that?
31:48Oh, God.
31:50Is that the...
31:51Call of my mighty stag brother, I must go to him.
31:54I'm on duty bound.
31:55Fine.
31:56Go.
31:57I'll wait.
31:59Tis time, brother.
32:03Time for what?
32:04Tis time.
32:05I hereby challenge you to a stag duel right here, right now, in the snow.
32:16Be prepared to be charged.
32:19You don't want this, man.
32:20Then run it.
32:22Then charged again.
32:23I went to war.
32:25I have my tactics.
32:27Tactics?
32:29Easy.
32:30Easy.
32:31Easy.
32:32I heard your call, brother!
32:45You all right there, stags?
32:54See you later.
32:54You may have won this battle, but you sure will not win the war.
33:12Don't worry about me.
33:14I'm fine.
33:17Nice.
33:18Open the door.
33:19It's me.
33:20Oh, Douglas, I can't have you storming my castle.
33:25I promised Devlin I wouldn't.
33:27Well, I think you will change your mind when you see what I am carrying.
33:31I have to prove that Norma isn't Norma.
33:35All right.
33:36Let's get in here.
33:41What is it?
33:43Can we have sex now?
33:45Proof first.
33:46Okay.
33:47I have in my pocket a packet of letters that proves that not only does Agnes exist, but
33:52she is most likely a murderer.
33:57What?
34:04What?
34:05They're gone.
34:06I must have switched jackets with Robert when I was ramming him on the mountain.
34:10What?
34:11Forgive me.
34:12How long have you worked here?
34:14Oh, since the convent days, through the war times, through the neonatal times, right up
34:22to the ski chalet times.
34:25So you were here when it was a hospital.
34:30The glory days.
34:32You wouldn't have any records from those times.
34:37Birth certificates, perhaps.
34:39Excuse me.
34:54Well, how are you finding Switzerland?
34:56Well, it seems like my wife has completely abandoned me on our honeymoon, but otherwise,
35:02it's going swimmingly.
35:03Look, I'm sorry I gave your letters to Evelyn.
35:08That was wrong of me.
35:10But I'd still really like to be your friend.
35:13Ditto, pal.
35:15And don't sweat it.
35:18Ooh, nice watch.
35:20Evelyn gave it to me.
35:22Did she?
35:23Right up with me.
35:31Oh, you changed for dinner.
35:34Well, in Palm Beach, we changed for breakfast, lunch, martinis, and dinner.
35:38Oh, how nice.
35:40I've been wearing the same shit for 40 years.
35:44I go slow.
35:45Knees aren't what they used to be.
35:48You take your time.
35:49I so appreciate your kindness.
35:53May I tell you something, as a friend?
36:03Yeah.
36:05In Palm Beach, people only give a significant other fancy jewelry when it's not a birthday
36:12or a holiday for one reason.
36:16What reason?
36:21Guilt.
36:21It's an apology.
36:24An apology for what?
36:31Well, let me put it to you this way.
36:36Perry has four.
36:43I'm sorry.
36:44I hope that was the right thing to do.
36:54It was.
36:56Marriage is hard, Eddie.
36:58It's really hard.
36:59But if you love her, please give Evelyn a chance to explain.
37:03I've been her.
37:04As you know.
37:05Want to ski down with me?
37:16Turn to keep up?
37:17You whore.
37:39Cozy room you've got here.
37:42Yeah.
37:42My little bird's nest.
37:45Rollins, you said, yeah?
37:46Penelope Rollins.
37:47Her father's name was Eugene, but everyone called him Skeet.
37:51I think you love this Skeet guy.
37:53I can tell.
37:55Another life.
37:56When I was just a Rollins.
37:59Not that being a Rollins was simple.
38:00But since then, I've tacked on so many names.
38:04I fear I'm getting further and further from myself.
38:09Live long enough as a woman, and you will be many people along the way.
38:15All of them will be you.
38:16Oh.
38:18That's what I'm afraid of.
38:21Racine.
38:21Margo's.
38:23Worth.
38:24Oh.
38:25Look, here we are.
38:28Rollins.
38:29Penelope.
38:32Papa named Eugene.
38:35Mama Linda?
38:36Yes.
38:37Penelope's mother's name was Linda, which is why she now calls herself Linda.
38:43One life.
38:44So many names.
38:46Yes.
38:50Why don't you stay up here for a little bit?
38:53Be alone.
38:55I think you might enjoy that.
38:57I might, yes.
39:17I know you are out there, pretty thing.
39:19You do not want to do whatever it is you are thinking of doing.
39:34Let's go get some grub, yeah?
39:44Yeah.
39:46You know, back in the convent days, we nuns used to sneak around in the back halls, so their
39:52priests wouldn't be tempted.
39:54Jerks.
39:55Jerks.
39:55Yeah.
39:56Jerks.
40:11Come, sit by the fire.
40:15I'll go get the kid.
40:16He's in the shower.
40:31So what's your plan?
40:33Shoot.
40:35What are you doing?
40:36Where did you learn how to pick a lock?
40:44Sister Immaculata used to make me break into the priest's candy bolt.
40:47In the orphanage.
40:49It's all about getting the tongue in the right place.
40:59Oh, Norma.
41:00I've become someone I don't recognize.
41:03Such is life.
41:05Tell me everything.
41:06I've misled so many people.
41:10People have been hurt.
41:12And worse.
41:14The idea of going back to Palm Beach for this big wedding of the season.
41:20For what?
41:22It's a big, disgusting show.
41:26You're going to be a mother, Mitzi.
41:29And a mother does what she must for her child.
41:33You make it sound easy.
41:35Switzerland was made for moments like this.
41:41What is this?
41:42A Catholic annulment.
41:44You'll be free of Douglas for good.
42:02There they are.
42:05What are you doing?
42:06Taking back my Delacorte ski jacket.
42:08Stop being turlish.
42:10Just let's go.
42:10Just leave it.
42:11Come on.
42:14I've passed the food for me.
42:16Linda, come on.
42:17Don't.
42:31Fancy.
42:32What's the occasion?
42:33This is a big, big night.
42:36And what is your window doing open?
42:38You're going to catch your death.
42:43Oh, please.
42:44You're just angry because father never loved you.
42:46It's because I knew his secret.
42:49My secret.
42:52He had a second family.
42:53I've been to the people who were...
43:03When told him, come on.
43:04That's a great girl.
43:07Oh, my God.
43:08You're right.
43:09What are you doing?
43:10I do my job.
43:10I do humans.
43:10You're right.
43:11They're all right.
43:12Oh, my God.
43:12What?
43:13Yeah.
43:13I do my job.
43:14Oh, my God.
43:14Well done.
43:15I do my job.
43:16Oh, my God.
43:16You're right.
43:16Well done.
43:17My husband.
43:18Oh, my God.
43:18Oh.
43:19Oh, my God.
43:20Oh, my God.
43:21Oh, my God.
43:21Get close to me!
43:26Go with me!
43:32Go with me, go with me!
43:51Go with me!
43:55Whoa!
44:02Welcome to the Frabbit's whore brew burning!
44:21You're gonna...
44:23Ah!
44:24Ah!
44:25Ah!
44:26Ah!
44:27Ah!
44:28Ah!
44:29Ah!
44:30Ah!
44:31Ah!
44:32Ah!
44:33Ah!
44:34Ah!
44:35You're gonna...
44:36Ah!
44:37Alright, stop playing!
44:38Oh, God!
44:39I am fine.
44:40Posse poopers!
44:46I miss P Moriarty.
44:49You're just buried here.
44:52No.
44:55Norma's buried here.
44:58The real Norma.
45:03Norma Bones.
45:14You said no one would find you here, Norma.
45:16Missy's my favorite.
45:18So I invited her.
45:20You're tempting fate.
45:21Oh, pish.
45:22I'll keep her secret, Robert.
45:29What are you up to?
45:36So, this is what vacation is like.
45:39I can't believe you won't tell me about the Russian Bowl.
45:41You need to drop it, Anne.
45:43Sorry.
45:44My restless, inquiring mind is a curse.
45:49And I know you want to tell me.
45:51Aren't we there yet?
45:53As friends?
45:54As partners in this adventure?
45:57I can't tell you I lose my job.
45:59You hate your job.
46:00You're always saying how those people use you and take you for granted.
46:05And they don't see you as a real person.
46:07There's a Russian Bowl in Palm Beach.
46:08Someone with a direct line to the Kremlin.
46:09This person is highly connected.
46:10And although their identity remains unknown, it is known they run in circles with Pinky and
46:23Raquel Kimberly Marco.
46:24However, the Marcos have gone missing ever since they got arrested by the IRS in a secret raid.
46:35How do you feel?
46:36Great.
46:38Thought I was gonna go crazy.
46:39You stay locked up inside yourself.
46:41It makes anyone crazy.
46:43Like that loom, Lottie.
46:44You know why they made sexy girls go away to places like this back then, don't you?
46:48There's Anne.
46:49Anne!
46:50Virginia!
46:51Come quick.
46:52Hurry!
46:54Here, look.
46:55Look!
46:56Agnes P. Moriarty.
46:591890 to 1905.
47:02She's not alone.
47:07Who's Charlotte Moriarty?
47:091865 to...
47:11There's no death year.
47:13I mean, she's still alive.
47:15Anne, why would girls sit to this place?
47:18If they were unmarried and pregnant.
47:22Charlotte!
47:23That's long for...
47:24Lottie!
47:26So Lottie's enormous.
47:30Mother.
47:32Vandu!
47:33Sit down, Mama.
47:35Mama?
47:36Yes.
47:37We're all family here, or we could be.
47:39You all need to eat your Alfred McGronin.
47:43It's winter here.
47:45You're way too skinny.
47:47Missy's being a very brave girl.
47:51She's annulled her marriage to Douglas.
47:54It takes a lot of courage, Missy.
47:57However, there is a matter of the trust.
47:5982 million smack-a-roos, Wiener.
48:02All right.
48:03Yes, please.
48:05That is a lot of money just to leave sitting there.
48:09Well, I have no intention of letting it just sit.
48:13All you have to do, Mitzi, is marry a Delacorte.
48:18Do you happen to know one, Robert?
48:20Yeah, but I'm not a Delacorte.
48:23I adopted you.
48:24You're my son.
48:26But you are not a Delacorte.
48:28I've been a Delacorte longer than you've been alive.
48:32I say who I am, nobody else.
48:34I've earned this name, and nobody is going to take it from me or from you.
48:39Shakespeare asked, what's in a name?
48:43I think he thought a name had been a name.
48:46I think he thought a name had no inherent value or meaning.
48:52Bozo!
48:54He didn't have 82 million bucks attached to his.
48:57The name Delacorte saved my life.
49:00And now it's going to save this poor, unmarried girl.
49:06That money was never Douglas's.
49:10It was never Maxine's.
49:12Hell, it was never mine.
49:13That money belongs to the child.
49:18What do you say, my boy?
49:22Do it for mother?
49:23Do it for mother.
49:40I'm getting married in the morning.
49:42Ding dong! The bells are going to chime!
49:44Shut up, mother.
49:47So this is where you've been hiding?
49:53No, not hiding.
49:55Ruminating.
49:57Anything you want to ruminate in my direction?
50:01In fact, there is.
50:04I...
50:09I...
50:13I...
50:17I don't think that's Douglas's baby.
50:20I don't believe it.
50:22I didn't either at first, but then I pressed Mitzi, and I'm telling you, that beam pole is up to no good.
50:26She's a clever little rat.
50:28Rat?
50:30I am working multiple lanes, baby.
50:32Meantime, Maxine has no idea, and I'm getting her to give me some of her half of the baby money to pay off the IRS.
50:38And then after Linda, yes, Linda gets here.
50:42My bet is dollars to donuts, one call to Interpol, and we get our house back.
50:46Wow.
50:50And I did it all for us. For you.
50:55Is that all?
50:57Is that all? Isn't that enough?
50:59Your wife is a genius!
51:01My wife is a snake!
51:09Was it Jed?
51:10I...
51:11I...
51:12I...
51:13I...
51:14I...
51:15I...
51:16I...
51:17I...
51:18I...
51:19I...
51:20I...
51:21I love you.
51:28Happy honeymoon.
51:29Happy honeymoon.
51:36Come be schnapps!
51:38Hot come be schnapps over here!
51:45Hot schnapps!
51:47This your fountain of youth?
51:50Perhaps.
51:52Here's mud in your eye.
51:54Here's mud in your eye.
51:57Rough night?
52:02That's an understatement.
52:04Perry, I've been looking high and low for you.
52:08I saw you being all chummy with your ex-boyfriend.
52:12Perry, you are totally out of line.
52:14Har, har, har!
52:16Come, everyone, gather around the fireplace.
52:20I have a story to tell.
52:22Everybody come, gather around the fireplace.
52:26Quiet, please.
52:27Whatever you do, don't tip her off that we know what we know.
52:30We have to keep her ignorant and buttered up so she'll spill.
52:33Quiet!
52:37This is the history of Frampus, told by me, Lottie.
52:43Frampus had a different name once,
52:46but that name has been forgotten two times.
52:49What we do know is that she was a small-town girl
52:54with big city dreams.
52:56She found work as a scullery maid with Mr. and Mrs. Frampus.
53:03Now, I know that your Santa Claus is just a nice, fat man,
53:07but our Frampus is not quite so cuddly.
53:11He's covered in black fur.
53:14He has horns and feet like a goat.
53:17It's hard to believe that a man like this has an easy time with the ladies, but...
53:22Women are easy, Lottie.
53:24Just ask this Frampus whore.
53:26Well, then I curse you, Perry.
53:28I curse you like the witch whore that I am.
53:32Hey!
53:33No more from the peanut gallery.
53:35So, time passes.
53:40Frampus falls in love.
53:41She feels bad.
53:46She cares for Mrs. Frampus, too.
53:49But her love for the horned man is fierce.
53:55It's strong.
53:56It burns like a fire inside,
53:59getting stronger and stronger day by day.
54:03She makes a mistake,
54:07as humans are wont to do.
54:11Your room service has arrived.
54:15Perfect timing.
54:17Gosh, I'm gonna want to read this first letter.
54:19We had fun today.
54:21Together.
54:23Yes.
54:29Okay.
54:31Here we go.
54:33Mrs. Frampus finds out
54:38about their little secret,
54:40and boy, is she mad.
54:44Dear Dad,
54:46I hope it's okay that I call you that.
54:48I keep writing,
54:50but you never write me back.
54:53Dear Dad.
54:53Oh, these can't be from Norma.
55:05I saw you in the papers after you were shot.
55:08I never thought I'd find you.
55:15Oh!
55:16What?
55:17Well, these are all addressed to Robert.
55:19Douglas, what's wrong?
55:26Her rage is so much
55:30that it threatens to destroy her.
55:33She decided to destroy poor Frampus instead.
55:38She threw lentils in front of the fire,
55:41and then she told Frampus to run and get her broom,
55:44to clean it up,
55:45and then...
55:45BAM!
55:47She shoved her into the roaring flames.
55:50But what Mrs. Frampus doesn't know
55:55is that she has infected Frampus
55:58with her rage.
56:00Douglas, what is it?
56:02The schnapps.
56:03What?
56:04Don't drink the schnapps.
56:05Douglas!
56:06Norma's mother gave me...
56:07What?
56:08Douglas, what is it?
56:09What's wrong?
56:10Douglas, talk to me.
56:11The evil will be punished.
56:14The karma will come.
56:17Anyone who has done wrong
56:19will be struck down.
56:22And that is why
56:24I say beware the curse.
56:28No!
56:29Don't let me!
56:31Beware the curse
56:34of Frampus!
56:36No!
56:37No!
56:37No!
56:38No!
56:38No!
56:39No!
56:41Oh, oh!
56:46It's Frampus!
56:49Ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!
56:52ол!
56:56Ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a
56:58Oh, Douglas!
56:59Oh, no!
57:00Help!
57:03Help!
57:04Douglas!
57:05Oh, sweetie, now
57:05what's happening?
57:06Oh!
57:11Goodbye again, Agnes.
57:41Mais ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
57:45Je perds mon sang-croix en écoutant ces airs-là .
57:49De, de, de, de, de, de, de.
57:56J'ai tout essayé, me séparé chaque fois.
58:00Mais ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
58:04J'ai téléphoné du petit café en bas.
58:07Mais ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
58:12Je perds mon sang de moi, à chaque fois j'entends ces airs-là .
58:15De, de, de, de, de, de ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre, ce n'est pas libre.
58:37Je perds mon sang-croix en bas.
Be the first to comment