00:01You know, I never imagined I'd be kissing another man at my ex's engagement party.
00:17A thief!
00:23Stay calm.
00:24You should thank me for a taste testing for you. Last night you brought over that pasta.
00:38It tastes like that three-year-old bra that was just crispy and really rigid.
00:45Come here.
00:47What the hell is going on here? Who the fuck is she?
00:50Are you blind? She's my girlfriend.
00:52So what the hell was I for the past three years?
00:55You're just a chef that smells like garlic.
00:58I mean, man eat your food, but hey, dream of my life.
01:03I mean, when was the last time Caleb has been bothered with me?
01:06You shut your mouth, you tramp!
01:09Hey! That's enough. Evelyn, I've never liked you, okay?
01:14Oh my god! See that on kitchen grease?
01:17Literally just makes me want to throw up right now.
01:19Your restaurant would have tanked ages ago without my menu.
01:23Yeah, but you're useless now.
01:26Cause we are a perfect man.
01:32Oh my god, he's still here.
01:33Evelyn, you are fired. Just, I never want to see you again.
01:37I'm the one firing you two.
01:39Assholes!
01:40Oh my, oh god!
01:44Bitch!
01:46Assholes!
01:58Yes!
01:59Every penny I had, I spent on his stupid restaurant.
02:04I even kept my chef E-identity secret to spare his fragile ego.
02:09And for what? To be treated like garbage?
02:12Okay, you are not spending another second on that jerk!
02:18Get up! Get up! Come on!
02:20Turn around.
02:21The world is your voice.
02:29Stop pouting!
02:32It's time to play!
02:34I've been searching for three years.
02:46Where are you?
02:47And the winner is...
03:05Shecky!
03:14Shecky's in the lounge.
03:15She actually cured your anorexia!
03:17Sophie!
03:19Kayla proposed!
03:21No, I think I'm gonna keep my chef E-identity secret for now.
03:23I'll still help him with his restaurant, just quietly.
03:38She's just behind this door.
03:45I think my drink's been spiked.
03:46I think my drink's been spiked.
03:47I think my drink's been spiked.
04:06Hey!
04:08You good?
04:09I'm in the room.
04:10She, oh.
04:11She's in the room already.
04:12She goes in the room.
04:13She's in the room.
04:15That's why.
04:16You like...
04:17dog, dog.
04:19sicher, dog, dog.
04:21Yeah, he's in the room.
04:22He's in the room.
04:24He's jawing the room.
04:25He's in the room and he's in the room.
04:26He's in the room, too.
04:28I'm in the room.
04:30I'm in the room...
04:31You know, let's enjoy yourselves in the room I prepared just for us.
05:01Did we really get that wild last night?
05:29That asshole!
05:38Oh Caleb, today is not your lucky day.
05:43Rock in hell.
05:48I'll make it in half an hour.
06:01What the hell did you do to my car?
06:14Oh thank God, he doesn't recognize me.
06:18This is your car?
06:21Look, I am so sorry.
06:24Um, wrong car.
06:26Yeah, classic mix-up.
06:28I'll pay for the damages.
06:29Just money, which is.
06:31That'll be 50 grand for a repaint.
06:33Cash or check?
06:3550 grand?
06:36Why don't you just mug me instead?
06:38I don't have time for this.
06:39The cops can deal with this mess.
06:41Sound good?
06:42Cops!
06:43No!
06:44Don't call the cops!
06:45Don't call the cops!
06:46I'd like to report property damage.
06:47Don't call the cops!
06:48Please don't call the cops!
06:49Hey!
06:50What the hell are you doing?
06:53Go ahead.
06:54All the cops, I'd love for them to see this.
06:56Oh, is that a threat?
06:57No, no, no, no.
06:58I'm just negotiating.
07:01I'm in a hurry.
07:03Take this off me, and I'll let you go.
07:06And I don't have to pay?
07:07Before I change my mind.
07:08Okay, okay, okay.
07:09Come on.
07:15I might not have the key.
07:25Seriously?
07:26We're not gonna take these off first?
07:27No time.
07:28Just follow my lead, and do not act weird.
07:31Ah, Mr. Carter.
07:36We are thrilled at the thought of you buying us out, huh?
07:42And, um, who might this be?
07:45This is my personal assistant.
07:47Oh.
07:48Hi.
07:49Hi.
07:54We're doing a little corporate bonding thing.
07:57Okay.
07:58Bonding, huh?
07:59Wow.
08:00That's quite the progressive bonding exercise, isn't it?
08:03Mr. Carter.
08:04I paid top dollar for shipping.
08:05Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:08And I paid top dollar for Chefy's exclusive recipe.
08:15That's quite the progressive bonding exercise, isn't it?
08:26Mr. Carter, I paid top dollar for Chef E's exclusive recipe.
08:35I think that would be worth an extra 10 points on the offer, wouldn't it?
08:40Chef E?
08:41That's right.
08:42Carter's been chasing Chef E forever.
08:44This sale is locked.
08:46It's not Chef E's recipe.
08:48What?
08:49I'm sorry.
08:50Mr. Carter, they're pulling the fast one on you.
08:53This is the exact recipe Chef E made at the Culinary Championship.
08:57It's identical.
09:08Yeah, Chef E would never use truffle oil in this dish.
09:11It kills the fish's natural umami.
09:13And FYI, Chef E doesn't write anything down.
09:16All of her recipes live in her head.
09:20If they're only in her head, how would you know?
09:27So what's the deal with you and Chef E?
09:29I am Chef E dummy.
09:31Just a fan.
09:32God lucky enough to chat about recipes with her once.
09:35Boss!
09:45It's just a lock while the entire circus.
09:47I heard you're in handcuffs, so I brought a lawyer.
09:51And a locksmith.
09:53And his mentor.
09:54Just in case.
09:56What about that guy?
09:58Oh, I'm just here for the spectacle.
10:01Don't mind me.
10:14I will take those.
10:17Okay.
10:19You know, I saved your money back there.
10:21That would lose my compensation.
10:23Fine.
10:24Later.
10:25What?
10:29Boss?
10:30Who's she?
10:38Cheers, guys.
10:41Cheers.
10:44Oh, God.
10:45Evan, I've already fired you.
10:46What are you doing here?
10:48Everything that worked about this restaurant was my creation.
10:51I'm taking my 50% share.
10:52Cheers.
10:56Oh.
10:57As if you were there.
10:59You only became head chef thanks to Caleb.
11:02You were nothing.
11:03I kept my Chef E identity secret to protect your fragile ego,
11:07which clearly was wasted on you.
11:10You're Chef E?
11:15Okay, so you're pretending to be Chef E when the real prodigy Madeline
11:20is right here.
11:22Seriously?
11:23Hilarious.
11:24Oh, my God.
11:25You're funny.
11:27How's with Evelyn?
11:28Caleb breaks up with you and you go into a full psychotic break?
11:32I mean, behold this face, people.
11:34Scared's kids would burn him into sterility.
11:36I mean, who would get excited about this package?
11:39You should beat it now, because my garbage can,
11:40I'm wanting to take trash like you.
11:42Okay, now about this.
11:44Let's not let this psycho spoil our day.
11:47Madeline, darling.
11:48Will you marry me?
11:53Oh, my God.
11:55I wasn't expecting this.
11:57Yeah, I do.
12:09See, Evelyn?
12:11Caleb clearly loves me, so he can stop obsessing over him.
12:14What?
12:16Congratulations.
12:17You snagged an absolute gem.
12:19You know, my new guy is hotter, richer, and way more impressive.
12:24Where it counts.
12:27What are you implying?
12:28Evelyn, did you really invent a boyfriend to make yourself feel better?
12:31Right?
12:32I mean, if he's real.
12:33Where is he?
12:34Show us.
12:35Oh, my God.
12:37Fantastic.
12:38Where do I magically whip up a boyfriend?
12:40From my rib?
12:42This is sad.
12:43Caleb rejects her, so she comes up with this pathetic story.
12:47Oh.
12:48You know what, Evelyn, just go.
12:51I mean, at this point you're just humiliating yourself.
12:52I mean, I'm sorry for you.
12:54Why don't you use that cash for some, um, therapy?
13:02He's right there.
13:06Mr. Carter, what's Carter Group's strategy this year?
13:08We are acquiring 10 premium restaurants to respect.
13:22Well, yes, I'll show you.
13:23See you soon.
13:24I'll see you soon.
13:26It's been an amazing sponsor of The Satellite.
13:27I'll show you soon.
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