- 8 minutes ago
Category
馃樄
FunTranscript
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00:36Excuse me
00:50You're telling me that the woman who loves to sing at any opportunity, who organises drag nights and bingo nights and all that stuff, who loves being centre of attention, all of a sudden it's her birthday and she doesn't want no fuck.
01:04I want in the mood.
01:06What you talking about? You're always in the mood. You are the mood.
01:13Well it's not so jazz hands when you realise.
01:16When you realise what?
01:18My life's not exactly what I thought it'd be, alright.
01:24At 49 in the remix, so I didn't really want a fuck.
01:28Right. Is this because you've not got a fella?
01:30No.
01:32It's not just that.
01:36I love my life, but sometimes...
01:40Bit lonely.
01:42Bob on.
01:44Bob on.
01:46Right.
01:48Well, listen.
01:50I know that your life might not be where you think it should be right now, but I'll let me tell you, you are fantastic.
01:56And I'm telling you now, you've made my life a hundred times better.
02:02You've made my life a hundred times better.
02:04I'm telling you, you've made my life a hundred times better.
02:06I'm telling you, you've made my life a hundred times better.
02:08Come on, Bob.
02:09Hey-oh, never fear it, your cake is here!
02:13Oh!
02:14Now, that cake looks very, very heavy.
02:18It's a very good job that you've got such lovely muscly arms.
02:21Oh, you've got lovely muscly arms too as well that can help play.
02:26Oh, you and Todd have saved the day.
02:29Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.
02:31And there is Todd.
02:32Oh, you know, he's a bit of a light, the way he's gone for a light then.
02:35What?
02:36He's out there anything to drink.
02:38Well, that's my point exactly.
02:40What, so we just wanted to go home?
02:42Oh.
02:43Left without saying his goodbyes.
02:44Oh, listen.
02:45Don't worry about goodbyes.
02:46You say them all the time.
02:47Don't you worry little Ed about Todd.
02:49Oh, Sally Spectacular.
02:50Are you dancing?
02:51No.
02:52Cos I am asking.
02:53What?
02:54Over in.
02:55Why would he cheat on you?
03:00There's no one fitter than you except me and it's not me.
03:04So go on then.
03:07Who is she?
03:09Carl's latest.
03:15It's James.
03:18James?
03:22James Bailey?
03:27I can't believe this.
03:29James?
03:30That sneaky little skank.
03:32Carl's the skank.
03:34You blew up your life for him.
03:38Oh, thanks for the reminder.
03:40What am I going to do, Tris?
03:43Well, you can stop being such a sap.
03:45And you've come to the right place for sympathy.
03:48No, I mean it, Abby.
03:49Remember who you are.
03:51No, you're right.
03:53What am I doing here?
03:55I should be chucking Carl's clothes out the window or, I don't know, cutting up his best jacket.
04:00No, that's amateur.
04:01You're smarter than that.
04:03I'm not though, am I?
04:05We were putting money aside for our new life in flaming Dusseldorf and I'm putting groceries on credit cards while he's copping off with anyone he likes.
04:18Right, so he's got a nice little nest egg, has he, for Germany?
04:23A few grand.
04:24Be a shame if that went missing.
04:27What, you reckon I should rob it?
04:30Pay your debts off, buy a fabulous pair of shoes and walk all over him, fleece him!
04:36I knew there was a reason you and me were mates.
04:41Do not shed a single tear over him again, okay? Do you hear me?
04:45Damn right.
04:47Right, I've got to go cos, erm, I've got some stuff to do.
04:51And did you not think to ask me first?
04:59I wasn't going to see my ma out in the street, was I?
05:02She's not going to be happy until I'm in the gutter.
05:04Oh, that's not true. You two just clash. Christmas didn't do any good either.
05:07That was all her doing.
05:09Ah, I know, but...
05:11Babe, she hates my guts.
05:13She doesn't.
05:15Eva, take us upstairs, would you? Today, if it's not too much trouble.
05:20It is, actually. You'll have to do it yourself.
05:22Carefully don't break your neck on the way up.
05:24Well, I'm surprised that hasn't happened to you in those trashy heels.
05:28Alright, enough. This is our home.
05:31Exactly.
05:32No, I mean all of ours, so can we please just get along?
05:37She hasn't even said sorry.
05:39Well, I am sorry. I'm sorry you feel so aggrieved.
05:43Babe, that is not an apology.
05:45That's the best you're going to get.
05:47Now, can we just move forward, please?
05:49I'll do a spot of cleaning.
05:51The state of the place.
05:52Right, seriously.
05:53Babe, babe, babe, babe.
06:00So, how is university for the very, very, very mature student?
06:05Oh, well, you know me.
06:07Potential barrister.
06:09Elderly, vagrant, pub, landlady.
06:12I treat everyone the same.
06:13It'd be an awful pity if you got barred, wouldn't it?
06:17I thought you were studying law, not medicine.
06:21If you must know, this is all about my grandson's accident.
06:25Well, his recovery from the hit and run.
06:28Mystery of the sanctuary.
06:29I'd like you to know that this is my life.
06:32It's not some cheap TV thriller.
06:34Oh, the drama of you.
06:40He's still alive, isn't he?
06:41And on the mend?
06:42Well, it would be.
06:43If he went to his physio, if he want to scare the stubborn ox.
06:47And he doesn't listen to a word you say.
06:50Maybe it's the way you say it.
06:52Maybe he's just a stubborn ox who needs to apologise.
06:56Sometimes you have to.
06:58With family.
07:05You see, if I'd cancelled the sparrow, I would have lost my hefty deposit, you know.
07:10Who is this bloke?
07:11Andrew Scott.
07:13Well, he's an amazing actor that me and Todd adore.
07:16But I get that you didn't want to lose your deposit, so it's fine.
07:19Can you take someone else?
07:21Well, it was kind of more for Todd than me.
07:23But, erm, yeah, I'm sure I could find someone.
07:26Hey, I've just found this in Todd's jacket.
07:29Oh, hey, hey, Summer.
07:30Alert the authorities.
07:31They found my boyfriend's bone in his jacket.
07:33No, I mean, they don't need it.
07:35Won't they?
07:36I'm gonna drop it on over to him.
07:37Oh, Billy, he's sleeping off the air.
07:38He doesn't need to be playing Candid Crows.
07:40What if he needs to contact us?
07:42No, he won't.
07:43Look, put it back and I'll reunite it with him when I get home.
07:46Alright?
07:48Guys, guys, the cake is up.
07:50No!
07:51No!
07:52It's not cold!
08:03Sorry!
08:04This hotel website's really basic.
08:20There's barely any reviews.
08:23Why are you still banging on about this?
08:25Because it doesn't add up.
08:26It's like a front or something.
08:27But when you spoke to somebody on the phone before, you spoke to an actual human and they
08:31said that Carla was staying there.
08:33Yeah, but when I try and book it, look, it doesn't let me go any further.
08:39Well then, the website designer needs sacking.
08:42Yeah, but also when I look at maps, it's a building site.
08:46Oh yeah, but I mean, maps, they're never like fully up to date, are they?
08:52I mean, it's probably just a bit behind or something.
08:55Do you remember when we went to that boutique hotel in Portugal and it was only like half
08:59built?
09:00Yeah, I do.
09:01She was like 10.
09:02So it was really exciting.
09:03I was like, if I don't laugh, I'm going to cry.
09:04I can't imagine Carla seeing the funny side though.
09:06No.
09:07No, I think if it turns out to be a dud hotel, then she's going to chew my ear off and complaining
09:11about it when she gets back.
09:13So you reckon I'm making something out of nothing?
09:17I'm sure she's by the pool, just topping up the 10 and eyeing up the talent.
09:21Oh.
09:24Don't make a sound.
09:26I'll knock you out proper this time.
09:28Please just let me go.
09:30Oh God, you talk like I'm some kind of monster, but I came back to give you your kidney meds
09:33and look what you did to me.
09:36Oh.
09:38You didn't have to do that.
09:39It really hurts.
09:40You got me locked up in a coven and you're the victim.
09:45It is what it is.
09:47Like, yeah, it's not ideal, but I didn't want you to suffer, which is why I brought your meds.
09:52You can sing for these now.
09:54No, no, Becky.
09:55Please, I need them.
09:56No.
09:57You know Lisa's gonna figure out who you really are.
10:06Lisa and me know each other inside out.
10:09And you can't mess with that.
10:11Even though you tried.
10:13You're so damned.
10:14I don't care what you think.
10:16Because pretty soon you'll be out of the picture and I'll get my happy ending with my family.
10:25If you were gonna kill me, you'd have killed me by now.
10:29Look at you.
10:30You're shaking.
10:33You're not a killer.
10:34You've not got it, ain't you?
10:38No.
10:42But I don't have to, do I?
10:46Because without meds, your body's gonna fail you pretty quickly.
10:50So all I have to do...
10:55Put on this gag.
10:57Get up.
11:09And walk out the door.
11:28I don't want it.
11:30Well, it's this or nothing, Betsy.
11:32Right, come on. Get the plates out, will you?
11:34OK, Mrs Crobs.
11:36Excuse me.
11:38Hello.
11:39We are dishing up stir-fry again.
11:42Are you hungry?
11:44Yeah, starved babes.
11:46Where have you been all day?
11:47I, um...
11:48Don't you make every question sound like a police interrogation?
11:51Betsy, I don't.
11:53I was just concerned.
11:54You know, you...
11:58You look like death.
11:59You all right?
12:01Oh, yeah.
12:02I'm just, you know...
12:04Oh! Mum!
12:05Oh, my God!
12:06Becky!
12:07Bex!
12:08Uh, er...
12:09Betsy, call the ambulance now.
12:10Yeah.
12:11Um...
12:12Becky?
12:13Becky, can you hear me?
12:15Hey, you sit down, I'll get the gun up.
12:17I should get attacked more often.
12:19Maybe I should invest in a little nurse's outfit, property, caring...
12:22Shh!
12:23Although I do like the sound of that.
12:25I'm just gonna go for a week.
12:27Hiya.
12:28Collection for Osborne.
12:29Yeah, I'll just grab it.
12:32A nurse's outfit.
12:35Er...
12:36It was a joke.
12:37What are you even doing here?
12:38Well, maybe I just fancied a onion barzy.
12:41So you followed us.
12:42Us?
12:44Look, I'm sorry, Will.
12:45I know you've got to be missing out on a session, but...
12:48After what happened to Daniel, I need to be with him.
12:50Are you going on much party?
12:51I told you I wouldn't.
12:54All right?
12:56Yeah.
12:57Yeah, we're great.
12:58Er, Will's just disappointed that I've had to cancel our session tomorrow.
13:01Committed, aren't you?
13:02Completely.
13:03Yeah.
13:07Should we go then?
13:08Yeah!
13:09Yeah, come on, let's skedaddle.
13:12Bye, Will.
13:13Bye.
13:14I'll, erm...
13:15I'll tell you about rescheduling.
13:18Ladies.
13:23Hey.
13:24Who's lazy now?
13:27Well, what do you want? A medal?
13:28Oh, come on.
13:29Don't pretend like you're not impressed.
13:32I knew you could do it, didn't I?
13:35The physio said he's never seen someone come so far in a session.
13:38Oh, you went to the physio in the end, did you?
13:41Er, yeah. Yeah, I did.
13:42Hmm.
13:43Was it helpful?
13:44Right, well, you can wipe that look off your face.
13:47Pity the physio didn't teach you to respect your elders.
13:51Well, it's a pity that my elders don't respect me as well.
13:54So...
13:55But, but, I probably...
13:57shouldn't have spoke to you the way that I did.
14:00Well, I forgive you, all right?
14:02That's settled. What's for tea?
14:04What?
14:05Hang on.
14:06Have I been played here?
14:08Possibly.
14:09I got you to your session there, didn't I?
14:11Er, he went of his own accord.
14:13Oh, of course he did. Of course he did.
14:16Listen.
14:18Listen, you was right.
14:20I shall be trying harder.
14:22All right, don't ruin it for yourself.
14:25Straight to the recycling.
14:40What is it?
14:42Er...
14:43A few friends of my mum's reached out, saying how sorry they were.
14:50And I didn't know what to say.
14:53And I know that they wanted some heartfelt thing, but...
14:58You didn't know how?
14:59Does that make me a bad person?
15:03No.
15:05No, grief is...
15:07It's complicated, isn't it?
15:08Your deal are your deal.
15:10All the messages just made it real, you know?
15:12Like, that's it.
15:14Like, I'm never going to see her again.
15:17And she's gone.
15:19It's done.
15:20She should be proud of you, you know?
15:26Yeah, right.
15:29Well, following your heart.
15:32Saving your pennies to start a new life with a woman you love.
15:37And a kid.
15:38And a kid.
15:41And we're almost there, aren't we?
15:43Soon we'll be able to buy our tickets.
15:46And leave all our ghosts behind.
15:49Yeah.
15:52You don't sound too keen.
15:54You've not blown all the money, have you?
15:55Of course I haven't, and...
15:57I am keen, it's just...
15:59It's been a weird day, hasn't it?
16:01Yeah, it has.
16:06It does make you think, though.
16:09About the people you love.
16:12You'd do anything for him.
16:14Would you?
16:16What?
16:18Would you do anything for me?
16:21Of course I would.
16:23Abby, I don't know what I'd do without you.
16:26And you won't have to find out.
16:29Because you'd have to try very hard to get rid of me.
16:39Well, the doctor said it was concussion.
16:42And the wound on the back of your head.
16:44That doesn't happen without you noticing, does it?
16:46What's with her tone? She's in a hospital bed.
16:48You need to know what's going on, Betsy.
16:49What's happened, Mum?
16:52I didn't want to tell you, but, um...
16:54I was...
16:55I was attacked.
16:57Oh, my God.
16:59It curts his lot.
17:00Why wouldn't that be the first thing out of your mouth?
17:01It won't completely freak you out.
17:04It's me thereafter. You might have told me to do one.
17:06No, of course we wouldn't.
17:07Would we?
17:09No.
17:11Never.
17:13We can't just keep ignoring this.
17:15And you're right.
17:17They've obviously been keeping tabs on you,
17:18and they clearly know where to find you.
17:20Yeah.
17:22Yeah.
17:24We can't just keep ignoring this.
17:26And you're right.
17:28They've obviously been keeping tabs on you,
17:29and they clearly know where to find you.
17:31Yeah.
17:32Yeah.
17:34We can't just wait around until they do her in.
17:36We need to leave.
17:38Hide out, like, right now.
17:40Right, you panicking isn't helpful.
17:41Yeah, but we've already lost her once.
17:43Don't you think I know that?
17:45I don't want to lose her again, either.
17:46Yeah, then do something.
17:48Betsy, it's all right.
17:50I am gonna be all right.
17:52Elisa, I have to go.
17:54I need to go to Spain.
17:55As soon as.
17:59We should ramp up the guest deals.
18:00People buy more when they think it won't last forever.
18:03Last forever? Nothing does.
18:05All right, Yoda.
18:07Why don't we try another cocktail night?
18:10Learn from our mistakes.
18:12You mean my mistakes?
18:13I didn't, actually.
18:15This is a learning curve for all of us.
18:17Oh, indeed it is.
18:19All right, what about a Luau?
18:21I could do pina coladas, Mai Tais,
18:23I could dust off my coconuts.
18:25Oh, I know, what about a Great Gatsby?
18:27Oh, I love the 1920s, and I make the best flapper.
18:32Just replace the F?
18:34You what?
18:36Oh, it was right there. I couldn't resist.
18:38Come on, babe.
18:40She's joking.
18:42Of course I am.
18:44Friends?
18:46Yeah.
18:48Can you two needy's get on?
18:50After all, we're family.
18:56Maybe I've been a bit oversensitive.
18:59But I think Ben's right.
19:01We are family.
19:03And I think if we try hard, we could be so happy here.
19:07My son is soft and forgiving.
19:10Traits that I don't possess.
19:12You aborted my grandchild.
19:15You lied to everyone.
19:17You, lady, will never be my family.
19:20Ah, what can I get you there?
19:22I'll get you there.
19:39Todd?
19:41Todd, where have you been?
19:42What are you doing?
19:44Your hands are like ice.
19:47You're dripping wet.
19:49Yeah, I just popped out to get some chips.
19:54I want to have some chips.
19:57Where are they then?
19:59What?
20:00The chips.
20:01Todd, your lips are turning blue.
20:04How long have you been out here?
20:06I feel the cold, don't I?
20:08I think you all said you'd had too much to drink.
20:12I did.
20:13No, you'd had one pint at most.
20:16You weren't drunk.
20:17What?
20:19I saw how he seemed with you when you left.
20:24I, I, erm, I'd been insensitive and, erm, he'd called me on it.
20:28That, that, that was all.
20:30So what, he'd locked you out the flat?
20:32No, of course not.
20:34Well, so then, can you explain to me why you're out here in the freezing cold, wet through, with no coat on,
20:38looking like you're one icy drink away from hypothermia, and save me the lies about the chips.
20:47All right, yeah, we did have a bit of a tiff at the party.
20:51And then I, I went for a walk just to clear my head.
20:56About what?
20:58My new business.
21:01All right, I'll, I'll, I'll go back home and everything will be all right.
21:04I, I, he just, he gets a bit.
21:10A bit what?
21:15He has certain expectations of a relationship, that's all.
21:21And I'm, erm, you know, I'm like, erm, selfish, inconsiderate.
21:28Kind.
21:30Loving. Loyal.
21:33Feels lucky to have you.
21:38Here's he to my flat.
21:40Take it.
21:42For next time.
21:47I've got your back.
21:49No, Todd.
21:51You're welcome.
22:09I'm sorry.
22:11I'm sorry.
22:16I'm sorry.
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