Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 13
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00:00¿Estás bien?
00:04¡No, no, no, no!
00:06Tilly siempre se levanta.
00:14¿No has broken nada, ¿sabes?
00:16¡No!
00:23¡Eher flabbers han sido gasto!
00:25¿Quieres un poco de esto?
00:27¡Oh, no, no!
00:29¡Oh, no!
00:31O, ¡oh!
00:32¡Oh, no, there's a controversial statement.
00:34The gravy.
00:36¡Ohhhh!
00:37¡Yeah!
00:38Do you like this music?
00:39No, not particularly.
00:40So, suck on that.
00:42Oh, wow.
00:43He's been a bad boy.
00:45Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:47Not a chance do you it?
00:48¡Ohhh!
00:49¡Yes!
00:50Look at that.
00:51He's had an absolute feast.
00:53¡Ohhh!
00:54For a banana.
00:56This is insane.
00:57¡Gracias!
01:27Well, last time Strange Things were out, I were pregnant with Ezra.
01:30Maybe it's time to have another baby.
01:32Whenever there's a new Stranger Things series.
01:35Things will be going bumping the night at your house and it's not the Demogorgons.
01:39There was a big sing-along on BBC One.
01:42You said wherever you may be, I'm the daughter of the city.
01:48Fight, said wherever you may be, we are the team from the West Country
01:53And we'll fight you all, wherever you may be
01:57And we'll fight you all in the West Country.
02:00Okay.
02:02Good boy.
02:02Bristol Rovers, I'm not a supporter or anything.
02:07And Jack Whitehall was being a bit creepy on Prime Video.
02:11I could kill you right now if I wanted.
02:15But I'm not going to do that.
02:18Because I want you to suffer.
02:22Just like I did.
02:23Do you know what?
02:24I could have quite easily held a lot of grudges with you.
02:26You know, biting a chunk of me hair out.
02:29Smacking me around the head with a washing line pole
02:31when we were playing jousting in the garden.
02:34Spitting chewing gum in me hair the night before prom.
02:37You know, but I haven't.
02:38Listen.
02:39And you smacked me head off the kitchen side one morning.
02:41Yeah.
02:41Must saw me lip open.
02:42Because you were being an arsehole.
02:44And Mum went, right, get in the car.
02:47My face is hanging off here.
02:49And I was wearing a lovely cream coat with a fur trim from Woolworths.
02:54Felt the dog's bollocks.
02:55In Wiltshire.
03:03So, just to put you in the picture, I got up at six.
03:07And I had been working for five hours, 55 minutes.
03:11When you came into the room.
03:13As you know, I personally handle everything myself with absolutely no help.
03:18Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:20And then you came in, and when you said your room needs to sort out,
03:27that was enough to actually make me want to kill you.
03:32Oh, dear.
03:32And just as well they have gun laws here.
03:34That's the thing about marriage, Natty, is that tomorrow you won't even remember.
03:37Yes, but when you do something...
03:38Because there'll be a new crisis tomorrow, and that's the nature of marriage.
03:42Well, you'll find the nature of marriage is different from what you think.
03:45Relationship.
03:45Because you're going...
03:46Relationship goals.
03:48Well, you're going to the shed.
03:49Relationship goals.
03:50You're going to live in the shed, you horrible, horrible man.
03:54On Saturday night, the remaining Strictly stars have made the annual trip up north for this...
04:00It's bloody Blackpool week, Paddy.
04:01This is only down road.
04:03I know I drove past the fans this morning.
04:05Oh!
04:06Oh, them...
04:07Oh, hey, watch!
04:08Oh!
04:12Cheers!
04:14Wow!
04:16I'm on one tonight.
04:17Hey, I'll tell you who's on tonight.
04:27Paige was telling me.
04:28Steps.
04:29Oh!
04:30You've danced in Blackpool, aren't you, Sean?
04:31Sean, I have many times.
04:35I've danced in Blackpool many times.
04:37At the ballroom.
04:40Who have we got here?
04:41Look at all these ones.
04:43These are the professionals.
04:44That's actually a group called Steps, though.
04:51I thought they'd, like, died years ago.
04:54Yeah, why would they die?
04:56Oh, I like her.
05:01I know you do.
05:02Gosh.
05:03It's got Abbot energy, innit?
05:04Yeah, I was gonna say that, innit?
05:05The night is the night of my life.
05:09It's bringing it back to the noughties with them white suits.
05:12I want a Steps makeover.
05:14What era is Steps?
05:171960s, I think.
05:18I mean, seriously.
05:26It's a banger, to be fair.
05:28A banger.
05:28That's a traditional banger.
05:30And we're gonna go into a Steps medley.
05:32They can't just be doing Summer of Love.
05:33I need more.
05:38Oh, transition to a new Steps banger.
05:41Oh, yes.
05:42I love a transition.
05:43There was something in your voice.
05:46There she is, fresh from Dubai.
05:48Here's Lisa.
05:49This is Lisa, is it?
05:50Lisa about to sing, yes.
05:52With her big boots on, loveless.
05:54My thigh highs.
05:55They are?
05:55Did you ever have a pair of thigh highs?
05:57No, no, no.
05:58Arising my suspicions, I had never felt.
06:03Oh, a little.
06:04Bit of filth.
06:05Oh, I don't like those weird movements they're doing there.
06:08What do they signify?
06:12Is it Jed Wood?
06:14I don't think so.
06:15He wasn't in Steps.
06:16They still all look good, though, don't they?
06:17Yeah, they do.
06:19He's nearly 50.
06:20Oh, each.
06:21Is he?
06:22Yeah.
06:26Oh, I love it at that.
06:30I can do that.
06:32Now, I see everything I can do.
06:34I can do it really fast as well.
06:36Look how fast it goes.
06:37Oh, aye.
06:42Bit of bongos.
06:42Get the judges in.
06:45Look at this look.
06:47They look sharp as well, the judges.
06:53It's one for sorrow.
06:54Oh, I love one for sorrow.
06:56It's one for sorrow.
06:59Ain't it too, too bad.
07:03Breaking someone else's name.
07:06Anton looks like he should be serving canapes.
07:08LAUGHTER
07:09You should take my love where you are.
07:12Oh, look at Graham.
07:14Oh, it's fucking Graham.
07:16What's his name?
07:17Graham.
07:18I thought it was Graham.
07:19Graham?
07:20I think you do have a look at Cartoon Steps about you.
07:27Stunning.
07:28She's prettier and can see.
07:36Better than we know.
07:39Oh, forget.
07:41I feel as I want to get up and dance, honey.
07:44Well, you don't want to do that, love.
07:47What is true?
07:49What is dead?
07:51This bad is that fucking love.
07:54Do you know what?
07:55I bloody love Blackpool.
07:58Hey, I bet you didn't know this,
07:59but the actual ballroom in Blackpool,
08:01it's got a sprung floor, that.
08:02Yes, it is.
08:03You could play squash on it.
08:04LAUGHTER
08:05I think I know this one.
08:14This is what everyone came for.
08:16This is what people came for.
08:18Tragedy!
08:20What do you think?
08:21They've saved the best till last, haven't they?
08:28When the feeling's gone and you can't go on,
08:31it's tragedy.
08:33Tragedy!
08:34You two are just butchering me.
08:36I want to love you.
08:38We're going nowhere.
08:41This is the working man's YMCA, this.
08:44It is.
08:44Oh, my tits went through.
08:59That's a tragedy.
09:00Pissed off.
09:01In the Cotswolds.
09:05Darling, I've got a surprise.
09:07What is it?
09:07That I brought back from my very brief trip to Mexico.
09:10What is in there?
09:11Our friends have had something done for us.
09:13Oh, God.
09:14Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
09:16I have a great unveil.
09:23What is that?
09:25Perkins, what do you think?
09:27Luckily...
09:28Perkins looks startled.
09:29Lucky he can't speak.
09:31Well, darling, it's not bad of me.
09:33I think it's...
09:34I mean...
09:35Well, I'm glad you look all right.
09:36I mean...
09:37I mean, you look a bit unshaven.
09:39What?
09:40I think it's done from a photo.
09:42I mean, he's very kind.
09:43I wonder where it should go.
09:45Downstairs cupboard.
09:48On Friday, the BBC brought us news to get us all in the mood.
09:52Is it...
09:53Do you want apple crumble overnight oats
09:55or banoffee overnight wheat bisques?
09:58Banoffee overnight wheat bisques.
10:00Well, I wanted that one.
10:01The last Friday before Black Friday,
10:03even though all the deals have already begun.
10:05Yeah, page the tip was saying that it's Black Friday today,
10:08and it ain't.
10:08No, it's next week.
10:09No.
10:10She's going, you know, I need the credit card
10:12because it's Black Friday.
10:14Nice try.
10:16Yeah, there he goes.
10:19Good afternoon.
10:20Welcome to the BBC News at One.
10:22Oh, gosh.
10:24She looks like Olivia Newton-John.
10:26Now, we ask it every year,
10:28how soon is too soon for the tinsel?
10:31Now it's too soon.
10:32I'm fucking sick of it.
10:33Never too soon for me.
10:35Never too soon for me.
10:37It's not soon enough, sweetheart.
10:39No.
10:40I've pulled the trigger.
10:41My decks are open.
10:42For some, thoughts turn to the tree
10:44as soon as Guy Fawkes has cooled off.
10:46No, I won't go that far.
10:47No, no, no, no, no, no.
10:49But for others,
10:49digging out the decks too soon
10:51can spoil the big day.
10:53How does it really matter?
10:55I was sitting on a loo in an airport
10:57in fucking September
10:59and they're playing Jingle Bells.
11:01I love it that people tree-jaculate
11:02and put it up early
11:04because do you know what?
11:06Winter's miserable enough.
11:07Stick some fucking festive lights on it
11:09and have a nice time.
11:10Anna White has been asking shoppers in Hull
11:12whether their build-up has started.
11:14I feel we could do with a bit of a call this year.
11:17I disagree.
11:17I think we need more decorations.
11:19No, no.
11:19It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
11:24Oh, no.
11:26Oh, no, no.
11:27That's cute.
11:29Well, it certainly is at the garden centre.
11:31Auncy garden centre.
11:33And you had seen them fucking three things before.
11:36I've been to that garden centre.
11:38Is it too early to be decked up for Christmas?
11:40Is it mollocks?
11:41Next question.
11:42No, I don't think so.
11:44You're good on your girl.
11:46See, that old lady said she doesn't think so.
11:48Oh, well, then we'll go with her, shall we?
11:51I agree.
11:51Do you think we're going earlier?
11:53Yeah, I think we are
11:54because it's old in the shops earlier, isn't it?
11:56So I think that puts you in the mood.
11:58I think it's too early.
12:00They've got the Christmas tree up
12:01in the hairdressers already
12:03and I was offered a mince pie and a baileys.
12:06That was last week.
12:07You look like you're dressed to go on Santa's sleigh.
12:10That's a bit bloody rude.
12:11What are you dressed like, dear?
12:12Can I say you look magnificent?
12:14Oh, thank you.
12:16Yeah.
12:16But I've seen them in the gardens already.
12:18Can't be done with coloured lights.
12:19No, no.
12:20I don't like coloured lights.
12:21No, just keep it chic, just keep it classy.
12:24Yeah, you see, I always veer, though,
12:26I want to keep it chic and classy
12:27and then I start putting tinsel over paintings.
12:30No.
12:31My wife, two kids,
12:32it's definitely a Christmas household,
12:35but I'm a bit of a Scrooge, so...
12:36What we want to be asking
12:38is a Fiat 500 driver
12:40that's got an eggnog latte in her hand.
12:42Yeah.
12:43Then we'll see if it's too early.
12:44Whatever the reason,
12:46is it ever too early?
12:48Yes.
12:49No.
12:50Amanda White, BBC News,
12:52in a surprisingly festive haunt sea.
12:54Do whatever makes you happy,
12:56that's what I say.
12:57Oh, I love Christmas, Lee.
12:59I don't want anything.
12:59Wow, it's looking suitably Christmassy behind you already.
13:02What are you crying for?
13:03Cos I just love it.
13:04It's a happy time, Jenny.
13:06I know it is, I know.
13:06I just love it.
13:07Cos I just love it.
13:37So I just went into the supermarket,
13:40found the black bras,
13:42got the cup,
13:44put it up against my boob like that.
13:46In the middle of the supermarket?
13:48Yeah, I'm like this.
13:50In the supermarket.
13:52And I thought, that'll do.
13:54Take that.
13:54I haven't even tried it on yet.
13:55You better hope it's all right.
13:56You better try it on tonight.
13:58Put it on tonight.
14:00Well, I mean, what's worse that can happen?
14:02This week, we went back to the upside-down world
14:05with the long-awaited return of this on Netflix.
14:09I've waited all year for this now,
14:11and I didn't really want to watch up with you,
14:12but you're here, so shut up.
14:15Now, Dad, what you have to remember is that
14:16when this series started,
14:18the kids were, like, 12 years old.
14:21Right.
14:21They're about 32 now.
14:22OK.
14:23So you'll have to suspend disbelief a little bit.
14:30I've even got Stranger Things pyjamas,
14:32they say I'm that much of a super fan, yeah?
14:34Goodie L.
14:35You know, every time I see a Christmas lights now,
14:37I can't look at it the same.
14:38Yeah!
14:38I just think of Stranger Things.
14:40Will?
14:41Will, is that you?
14:42Will!
14:42Send me a message!
14:49So that's Mike and Nancy's little sister,
14:51the baby that is no longer a baby, Holly.
14:53I want her outfit.
14:54It's cute.
14:59What's she saying there?
15:05Who's she waving to?
15:07What is that?
15:07There's a shadow.
15:08Who's that?
15:15Holly!
15:16Grace!
15:17I've been calling you!
15:18I'm sorry.
15:19Nobody's there.
15:20Who's she waving at?
15:21I don't know.
15:22Right, this is creepy already, Ellie.
15:24Turn it off.
15:25Playtime's over.
15:27Come on.
15:30She's watching someone again.
15:31I wonder what she's seeing.
15:35Hi.
15:36Who's Holly talking to?
15:37She knows him.
15:38She's not scared of them.
15:40Oh, yeah.
15:40Miss Harris.
15:43No one.
15:44Wow, no one!
15:45She's not talking to anyone!
15:47Oh, you do that all the time.
15:49Yeah, I do.
15:49I'm all right in that world.
15:51That's it.
15:52Standing there talking to nobody.
15:54Well, she's hardly the first child
15:56to have an imaginary friend.
15:58I wouldn't need to worry
15:59if she was five years old.
16:00Oh, the parents are arguing
16:02about her being weird.
16:03It's causing a kerfuffle.
16:04Oh, she's real upset, look.
16:10What's Holly crying for?
16:12Well, she's had a bit of a tough day.
16:14She's talking to people
16:15and they're not even there.
16:16Oh, you know, it's always the lights.
16:21It's the lights when they flick off.
16:23That's the sign the demigorgon's
16:25coming for their house, is it?
16:26Oh, for fuck's sake.
16:27I don't like this.
16:32Oh, shit.
16:33Oh, it's got to go down the ceiling.
16:34They're here.
16:35They're here.
16:35They're here.
16:36They're here.
16:36Oh, my God.
16:42Oh, it's one of them.
16:44It's a gemmy-gum.
16:45Oh, whatever.
16:49Oh, no!
16:50I don't think that's wrong.
16:51Oh, it's ruined.
16:52We're all over the show.
16:52Oh, my God.
16:59She's pissed going in the bathroom, are they?
17:01Oh, look at her.
17:03I mean, this is a vibe, though, isn't it?
17:04Never mind your bubble bath pet.
17:08Your kid's getting hit and dragged down the bedroom
17:10by the demagogue.
17:11Oh, baby, baby, what are you doing here?
17:12What's wrong?
17:13There's a monster.
17:14Call it, slow down.
17:16Listen to the girl, man, you silly cow.
17:19Oh, please.
17:20You've got to believe me.
17:23You've got blood enough?
17:24Blood.
17:24There you go.
17:25There you go.
17:26Thank you.
17:26Take her seriously.
17:29What the heck?
17:30Mr. Wheeler, get the shotgun.
17:34Oh, here we go.
17:40Oh, my God.
17:43Where's the girl?
17:44In the sad set night.
17:50Oh, they're going to die.
17:52Are they just holding their breath?
17:53Oh, wow.
17:54How long could you hold your breath for, though?
17:56That is a very good question.
17:58While's panicking.
17:59Yeah.
18:05It's Ted!
18:06It's Ted with a golf club.
18:07Thank God.
18:11Oh, shit.
18:12There it is.
18:12I don't have a good feeling about this.
18:14Ted's dead.
18:15Stay back.
18:16Stay back!
18:17Stay back!
18:19Swipe in, you silly cow.
18:24Oh, bloody hell.
18:28Oh, he's killed him.
18:29Oh!
18:30You see what happened when you face it?
18:32Forget that.
18:35Oh!
18:35Oh, she's shitter.
18:38You never run when your feet are wet.
18:42Oh, come on.
18:43Get up.
18:44Oh, leave her.
18:44Oh, please, please.
18:45Don't leave, it's a mother.
18:47Oh, shit.
18:49Oh, right, here he is.
18:53Yes!
18:54Oh, she's got a ball in.
18:56Oh, straight in a kisser.
19:01Yes!
19:01The Calvary's coming.
19:03Soon enough.
19:03She got the shot in.
19:04That's his heart.
19:06This is a five.
19:09Oh, my God.
19:10What's she seeing?
19:11What's she seeing?
19:15Oh, no, he's a mom.
19:17Oh, my God, Karen's dead, isn't it?
19:19Fucking joking, she's dead.
19:20She's dead, isn't it?
19:24Is she still alive?
19:25No.
19:25It's going to be fine.
19:27You're going to be fine.
19:29Holly.
19:30Where's Holly?
19:30Oh, shit, yeah, where's Holly?
19:36It took Holly.
19:37It took her.
19:37Oh, he's taken her to the upside down.
19:39Jesus Christ, man.
19:43I just like how realistic it all is.
19:46Oh, it puts stuff in your head.
19:47There's no wonder these kids can't go to sleep.
19:50All the shape they watch.
19:55In Solihull...
19:57Close your eyes.
19:58Where are you?
19:58Keep your eyes closed.
20:00I'm in the kitchen.
20:01Open your eyes.
20:02Teresa and her wife, Anita.
20:05Oh, yeah.
20:06Oh, my God.
20:13What do you reckon?
20:15We're going to have a different colour every night of the week.
20:18Yeah, and look, a mixture.
20:20Oh, lovely.
20:22I'm very, very, very happy.
20:26Are you?
20:26No.
20:28On Sunday, it was a countdown of the best hymns
20:31that took us down memory lane on BBC One.
20:34I love school assembly sing-along.
20:36I've been getting warmed up.
20:37Me and Bobby have been going to mass, haven't we?
20:39This is the big school assembly sing-along.
20:42Oh, it's Ali.
20:43Oh, Ali did get his face in, anyway.
20:45Singing.
20:46Is there singing in the rain?
20:47No.
20:49Ali Jones, they always wheel him out for all the singing, don't they?
20:52There'll be riots if Shine Jesus Shine isn't in the top three.
20:57There'll be riots from me if Lord of the Dance isn't in it.
20:59Ooh.
21:00That was our wedding song.
21:01It was our wedding song.
21:02The apples are ripe, the plums are red.
21:06The broad bees are sleeping in a blanket teabed.
21:09Ba-dub, ba-dub, ba-dub, ba-dub, ba-dub, ba-dub, ba-dub.
21:13Hey, listen, we don't remember that.
21:16No.
21:17I can now reveal that number two is a traditional hymn.
21:20Oh, number two.
21:20If this isn't, give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning, switch it off.
21:25It is, of course, give me oil in my lamp.
21:29Take it away.
21:29Give me oil in my lamp.
21:31This is a tune, man.
21:36Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning.
21:40Give me oil in my lamp, I pray.
21:43I pray.
21:44Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning.
21:47Give me oil in my lamp, I pray.
21:51Is that meant to be me?
21:52Yes.
21:52Yes.
21:53Oil in my lamp, keep me burning.
21:55Keep me burning till the brave of day.
22:00Sing, Hosanna.
22:02Oh, remember this one now.
22:03Sing, Hosanna.
22:05Sing, Hosanna to the king of kings.
22:09Sing, Hosanna.
22:11Sing, Hosanna.
22:13Sing, Hosanna to the king.
22:16God, this is the most undiverse programme I think I've ever watched.
22:24I'm kind of open after the first verse of everything.
22:27Are you?
22:27Yes.
22:28You feel like I've done that, been there, right?
22:30Let's move on.
22:30Sing, Hosanna to the brave of day.
22:35Look at that face.
22:37That's like, oh, you were brought up with girls like that, weren't you?
22:40Your face is like that, yes.
22:42Normal people.
22:44Normal.
22:45Sing, Hosanna.
22:47Sing, Hosanna.
22:49Sing, Hosanna to the king of kings.
22:53Sing, Hosanna.
22:55Sing, Hosanna.
22:57Sing, Hosanna to the king of kings.
23:01So glorifying.
23:02Oh, wow.
23:03You went all sister act then.
23:06Whoa.
23:06Sing, Hosanna.
23:09Sing, Hosanna to the king.
23:11Sing, Hosanna to the king.
23:13Sing, Hosanna to the king.
23:15That was a right old humour hold down, wasn't it?
23:17Yeah.
23:17Yeah.
23:18I actually feel like I've just been in assembly with my father.
23:21Yeah.
23:22I tell you what, bollocks to your Oasis tickets at 450 quid a pop.
23:27Get me in there.
23:28Yeah, that's my Oasis.
23:29Isn't it funny?
23:30You forget what you've had for breakfast, but you never forget them words.
23:34What did you have for breakfast?
23:35I don't know.
23:36In Blackpool...
23:45I tell you what, the kids, they're so much like me and Paige.
23:49Jimmy's like me, whereas Eva, 100 mile an hour, always wanting to be doing something.
23:54Like Paige.
23:55She comes alive at night.
23:56Pete and his little sister Sophie.
23:58Eva is like you in some respects, though, because remember when mum gave her 50p for the charity
24:04bucket and everyone else put their money in and then we looked at Eva's hand and her
24:08knuckles were almost white, clinging on to a 50p piece.
24:13Well, she's not daft, is she?
24:15Apple never falls far from the tree.
24:18On Friday night, animals were getting up to all sorts on Discovery.
24:22Drunk animals are quite funny.
24:25I know it's not right.
24:26That's because of the generation you were born into.
24:30Because you had the PG Tips monkeys.
24:32Yeah, smoking monkeys.
24:33Smoking monkeys.
24:34That's not okay.
24:35It's not okay.
24:39Drunk beards.
24:41It's happening.
24:42I've seen drunk monkeys.
24:44They get drunk.
24:44Yeah, I've seen monkeys taking away a bottle.
24:47Oh, do you remember that friend of ours?
24:48Oh, yeah.
24:49The monkey was taking booze out of her house the whole time.
24:51And her toothpaste.
24:52And the toothpaste, probably to get rid of the smell of the booze so nobody else knew.
24:56In the program, we met wildlife expert Forrest off to meet a bear.
25:01And now we're pulling into Bowser's Peace Sanctuary, which is where the guy named Stanton,
25:06who was apparently an alcoholic, has a bear that was also an alcoholic.
25:11What?
25:11How does a bear get a corkscrew?
25:13And the two helped each other overcome their addictions.
25:18What is this like an AA meeting?
25:20In the woods?
25:22An AA meeting in the woods between a bear and a man?
25:25I hear that you have a bear.
25:32Lupin.
25:33It's a bear.
25:34You want to come and meet him and share some time with him and you'll experience the stuff
25:39I can't explain.
25:40Meet the who?
25:40Is he talking about coming and meet the bear?
25:42He must be joking.
25:44What, you want me to go in there with him?
25:45We're going in and not staying behind him.
25:47An angry, recovering alcoholic bear.
25:50So guys, we are going in with a live bear here.
25:53Okay?
25:53Your energy and your body language is super important.
25:56Very calm, very smooth, very gentle.
25:59That's how we want to be with him.
26:00Got it?
26:00How about I just record you from a distance?
26:03From a distance, yeah.
26:05Hey, hey, bear.
26:07Hey, buddy.
26:08Hi.
26:09Jesus Christ, he's brave, isn't he?
26:12To be fair.
26:13No, no, he looks like a nice bear.
26:14He's a changed bear.
26:16Yeah.
26:17Sobriety has done him a lot of good.
26:19He's done wonders of good for the bear.
26:20Boris, you can give him a treat just right.
26:23Oh, look at that.
26:23I thought he might take your finger off or another finger off.
26:26Oh, he's got one finger gone already.
26:29He's missing a finger.
26:30Index, index is gone.
26:32No, that was a different, different day.
26:35Different day?
26:37I heard that you had a problem with addiction and depression
26:40and that he had a problem with addiction.
26:42Can you clarify that for me?
26:44Oh, look.
26:45Is he having a coffee?
26:46Somewhere along there, Bowser came
26:48and showed me a whole different life
26:50that I didn't even know was possible.
26:52Oh, my God.
26:55He's just giving you a hug.
26:56Is that sweet or is he trying to kill him?
26:58No, no, he's having a hug.
26:59Oh, my God.
27:00That bear's getting a bit rough, isn't it?
27:02He's getting a bit chokeholdy, that bear.
27:04And I met Bowser and what that turned into
27:07was an understanding of how...
27:09Look, I mean, he's got his head right by his mouth.
27:12How that connection can help us.
27:14Wrong.
27:16And he's showing off, so I'm going to have to be a daddy.
27:19He's showing off, so I'm going to have to be a daddy.
27:22Oh, I'm not liking this, Chase, sir.
27:25Yeah, yeah.
27:25Easy.
27:26Shh.
27:27Come here.
27:27Talk me through what you're doing.
27:29He's wrestling the bear.
27:30Oh, my God.
27:31What I'm actually doing here,
27:32he's grappling with the bear.
27:37I'm trying to see fucking life.
27:38I'm laying him down.
27:40Yeah.
27:40If I can get to his belly.
27:42Yeah.
27:42He's going to be in his belly in a minute.
27:44Jesus.
27:45No, this ain't real.
27:46This ain't real.
27:48I want to show him his boss.
27:49Tickle, tickle, tickle.
27:51Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
27:54No, easy.
27:55This is getting a bit fucking silly now.
27:59Oh, here it goes.
28:00He's trying to eat your head.
28:01Just a word of warning.
28:03He's trying to eat your head.
28:07He's got his head in his mouth.
28:09This is our love.
28:10OK.
28:11It's fucking brushing him now.
28:13This is how he communicates.
28:16Get out of there now,
28:17because it's too much.
28:18I don't want anything to love me that much, do you?
28:20No.
28:21I mean, it's meant that he's only ever
28:23bitten one of Stanton's fingers off.
28:26Yeah.
28:26You know, that's only really what he's done.
28:28But that is a small price to pay for love.
28:33In South East London...
28:35Do you know, I love you in that black t-shirt.
28:38You look quite sexy with that.
28:40Under your shirt, yeah.
28:42Annie and her husband, Ronnie.
28:45It reminds me of the days.
28:46Reminiscing a bit there, isn't we?
28:48I know.
28:49You ain't forgot?
28:51You used to have a black t-shirt
28:53and you used to have your love beads around it.
28:56That's it.
28:57Except your hair was down your back.
28:59Yeah, well, not now, is it?
29:01No.
29:02Your hair's just not there.
29:04I can't even get it to go down my ears,
29:07let alone anything else.
29:08On Monday, more con artists were up to no good on BBC One.
29:14Until the boys changed my privacy settings on Facebook,
29:17I was getting lots of messages.
29:19Oh, yeah.
29:19From American soldiers.
29:21Wanted to chat with me.
29:26You're off your head.
29:31This isn't any old scam interceptors, Pedders.
29:34This is celebrity scam interceptors.
29:36They do have the celebrity version of everything now, don't they?
29:39Well, celebrities, you know, they don't discriminate.
29:41They can be scammed as well.
29:43What I do is I go on my online banking and think I've been scammed,
29:47then I'll look at the transactions and realise they're all me.
29:51Today in the Glasgow Scam Hub...
29:53Glasgow Scam Hub?
29:54Yeah.
29:54Wow.
29:55I didn't know there was one there.
29:56There's a new member of the team.
29:59Celebrity scam interceptor Amanda Holden.
30:02Amanda Holden!
30:04What's Mandy doing here?
30:06Scammers have been using her image to trick people out of money.
30:10Oh!
30:10Yes, I've read that.
30:13Identity for all.
30:14Yes!
30:15I can't stand injustice and my family and friends say I'm always up for a fight.
30:21She looks like she's always up for a fight, doesn't she?
30:24She's like you, Mary.
30:25She likes to catch culprits.
30:26Yeah.
30:27So I put your name in to see where are these profiles lurking.
30:30I was amazed at how many other profiles were actually there.
30:33There were hundreds.
30:34Are these all Amanda Holden?
30:35Yeah.
30:36Fucking hell.
30:37So I'd like to ask you if you would recognize this picture at all.
30:41Well, yes.
30:41That's me.
30:42It was in Dubai.
30:43Oh!
30:44Pick that one all.
30:45That was one of the pictures that one of the scammers were using.
30:48Wow.
30:48But I said, can you please send me a video to verify your identity?
30:51Ah, this is where they get caught out because they can't send a video, can they?
30:54And they did.
30:55What?
30:56Well, he's got one.
30:57I am Amanda Holden.
30:59Obviously, I am real.
31:03Wow!
31:04They've made a video, eh?
31:05There's a photo run.
31:06That's crazy, isn't it?
31:08Isn't it crazy?
31:10And I am shocked you would not believe this is true.
31:13Don't sound like it.
31:14Uncle Barry's had it all the time on bloody AI, turning pictures into videos.
31:20Have you not seen him, do we?
31:21Yeah, I have.
31:21Making Auntie Margaret, riding horses and stuff like that.
31:24And we've got something now that we're going to show you, Amanda, because, Amanda, it's
31:28time for you to meet Scamander.
31:31Scamander Holden.
31:32Scamander.
31:33Why are you making it sound sexy?
31:34I don't know.
31:36I've got one little treat for you.
31:37I have this guy on WhatsApp.
31:39What?
31:41No.
31:41Oh, call him.
31:43Taking on the role of superfan Stephen, I message the scammer.
31:48Oh, here we go.
31:48This is so cool.
31:51Here we go.
31:52What?
31:53Reply straight away.
31:54Oh, keyed.
31:56You can use a voice note if you want to say something today.
31:59So you need to say, I'm in the bank now.
32:01You see, that will get him to chat.
32:03Yes, Amanda, let's talk.
32:05That will get him to chat.
32:07Hey, Amanda, I don't know what to do with this money.
32:11I don't know where it goes.
32:12Can you just call me, babe?
32:13Babe.
32:14Can you call me?
32:15He's a superfan.
32:16He's pretending.
32:17He's scamming the scammer.
32:18He's scamming Scamander.
32:19Will you talk to my manager because I'm busy and can't take calls now?
32:23To be honest with you, that probably would be something Amanda would say as well.
32:26Imagine if it really is Amanda's manager.
32:29My heart is racing.
32:32This is how I feel just before the thing goes back on Britain's Got Talent.
32:35Oh, she always has to get something done, she.
32:37Amanda, is that your manager?
32:39Is that your manager?
32:39Oh, right.
32:40This is brilliant, isn't it?
32:42It's Amanda there.
32:44I've got her money.
32:46Yeah, okay, you've got her money.
32:47This is the instruction.
32:48We're going to send you an address right now.
32:50Imagine that.
32:51So straightforward.
32:52Not even, like, lower lines.
32:54Oh, like, yeah, I'll guide you through it, whatever.
32:56Yeah, this is the instruction.
32:59I've got the bank staff here.
33:01They're just going to check the address.
33:03Amanda's talking to him now.
33:05What's she going to do?
33:05She's going to pretend to be the bank manager.
33:08Oh, my God.
33:09Hello, good afternoon.
33:10I just want to check the amount of money that Amanda needs.
33:15Look at Amanda.
33:15She sounds like a cashier, doesn't she, in the bank?
33:18Hello, sir.
33:19Yeah.
33:19She needs about ten thousand for the investment.
33:21How much?
33:22Ten thousand?
33:24Okay, sir.
33:25Can I let you know my name so you know who you're dealing with?
33:30Yeah, let me know your name.
33:31Yeah, go on, go on.
33:33Drum roll.
33:34Dun-dun-dun.
33:36My name is Amanda Holden.
33:38Oh, shit!
33:40You little fucker.
33:42I know everything about you.
33:44Oh, he's uncle.
33:45He's uncle.
33:46Bye!
33:47And just like that, the scam's over.
33:49Yeah.
33:51Yes!
33:52Look at her face!
33:53Look at her face!
33:54Look at her face!
33:55She's absolutely seaming!
33:58Oh, you little...
34:00That says, you little shit.
34:02I know everything about you!
34:04Well done, Amanda!
34:06Good girl!
34:07All he'll do now is shut that account down and pop up as Alicia Dixon.
34:11Yeah.
34:11I think you've done real well, Lee, in a week.
34:23It's good.
34:24What are you looking at?
34:25You must ask.
34:26Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
34:28Do you know something?
34:28I keep forgetting I've got it.
34:30Do you?
34:30I was talking to somebody yesterday and they kept...
34:32You're not like staring at me.
34:33But what are you looking at?
34:35No, it's grown.
34:36I bet she went and said, oh, he looked like an 80s porn star.
34:39Really?
34:41I won't go that far.
34:44This week, it was a surprising all-star turnout for a brand new drama on Prime Video.
34:49Because you've got to tell who's in this and all.
34:52It's David Duchovny out of the X-Files.
34:55What's that?
34:56Remember him?
34:57No, I can't.
34:58With Gillian Anderson.
35:00I don't know her.
35:00She was iconic in Steve.
35:01What's her?
35:02Well, I can't remember.
35:03You don't take anything in, do you, at all?
35:05But I don't even remember watching it.
35:11There's Jack.
35:12Aye.
35:12I remember him now.
35:16Have they made Jack Whitehall look really sexy?
35:19Everybody's looking sexy at the moment.
35:20I think it's a testosterone gel.
35:22It's worrying.
35:23You need to just monitor that, Mum.
35:28Oh, US Customs.
35:30Nobody wants to go through US Customs.
35:31Have you done your Esther?
35:33Come with me, please, sir.
35:35Sure.
35:36Oh, Jesus.
35:37He's only just arrived.
35:38Hopefully they don't get the old glove out.
35:41My name's Nikki Delgado.
35:42I'm an agent with the Department of Homeland Security.
35:44Oh, this sounds a bit ominous.
35:46Do you know the Tanner family?
35:48And a man called Jamie Tanner.
35:50Yes.
35:50Yes, he knows him.
35:51He's a bit too calm for me.
35:53I spent the last month working for him and living in his house.
35:56Okay, what's happened to Jamie Tanner?
35:59Well.
36:01What's she showing him?
36:02Jamie Tanner, is he dead?
36:04This is horrible.
36:05What's horrible?
36:06Think someone's toast, Paris.
36:08But in a way, I'm not surprised.
36:10Why am I not surprised?
36:11Well, what is it?
36:12That's a strange comment, isn't it?
36:14Jamie Tanner was not a very nice man.
36:17Oh.
36:17Oh.
36:18Neither was Elsie Tanner in Coronation Street.
36:20She was a bugger.
36:28Malice.
36:29Is it not a name?
36:30No.
36:31Malice is a type of meaning.
36:34Like a palace.
36:36No.
36:36Oh, now that looks nice.
36:43Don't forget we've gone back in time now.
36:45Oh, no.
36:46Hang on a minute.
36:48What?
36:48I'm going back in time.
36:52Look at that bud.
36:54He's got a six pack and everything.
36:57God, I can get to that very easily.
36:59Go on, then.
37:00Hi.
37:02You must be Jamie.
37:03Yeah.
37:04Adam.
37:04So nice to meet you.
37:05What an amazing place this is.
37:07How long have you had it?
37:09Ten or twelve years.
37:10Already bad vibes.
37:11You're here to Tutor Millie?
37:12Yeah, just a bit.
37:14A tutor.
37:15Oh, I had a couple of them.
37:17They didn't do much for you, did they?
37:19Maths, English, French.
37:23Waste of time.
37:24A bit later, and Jack had picked up a couple of octopuses for dinner.
37:30Oh, my God, he's unhinged.
37:34Daniel, I don't like him.
37:35He's scaring me.
37:36He's really giving me the eebie-jeebs.
37:42That's Octopus.
37:43Oh.
37:46Gross.
37:47Very gross.
37:47Yeah.
37:48Love to fucking gut you and hang you on a line.
37:50What?
37:51What the fucking hell?
37:56Is he a psychopath?
37:57That's not normal.
37:59Oh, really?
38:00Oh, yeah.
38:01I'm out.
38:02Get me out of here.
38:02Get me out of here.
38:03Travelodge.
38:04Travelodge.
38:05Literally.
38:05Travelodge.
38:07I think if we're able to shake off Damien for the night, maybe we should try out that place.
38:11Oh.
38:13Your kind of establishment?
38:18Oh, it's CD.
38:20Oh, is it a strip club?
38:24Knew it.
38:25Dirty bar.
38:26Do you know they do lessons in that now, night school?
38:29I was going to, yeah, I was going to join.
38:32What?
38:33Two years ago, I was.
38:34Two Sambucas, please.
38:36Sambuca.
38:37Oh, no.
38:38Yamas.
38:39Yamas.
38:41Yamas.
38:42Yasso.
38:42Boy, he's always getting him pissed.
38:47Why is he doing it?
38:48Why is he trying to get Jamie pissed?
38:50And I used to do that at all.
38:51Oh, you lying.
38:52I've never seen you tip a drink out.
38:54We've all been there.
39:01I've crawled down my drive a few times, but not all the way home.
39:04You always crawl.
39:09Yeah, in fact, I do crawl a lot when I'm drunk.
39:11Yeah.
39:14Oh, no, this is creepy.
39:16Jack's got him where he wants him, nothing.
39:19What does Jack want to do to him?
39:21This is not tomorrow night when I get in from Christmas do,
39:27waiting for me to go up to bed.
39:28I could kill you right now if I wanted.
39:31Oh, no.
39:32A what?
39:32Why does he even consider that?
39:35But I'm not going to do that.
39:37Oh, well, what are you going to do then, you weirdo?
39:39What a nasty piece of work he's turned out to be.
39:43The cosy manny.
39:44Because I want you to suffer.
39:46Oh, hello, what?
39:48Now, this sounds revengeful.
39:50Oh, doesn't it?
39:52Just like I did.
39:54It's a vendetta.
39:56Ooh.
39:57For what?
39:59Oh, frigging hell.
40:01Now I've got to sit here all night working out, oh, oh, oh, oh.
40:05And what's the connection?
40:06And what's the connection?
40:07It's very unlikely that Jack Whitehall will be a serial killer.
40:11I mean, it makes it rather unpleasant to watch beggars' belief.
40:16It's almost as if you had Queen Elizabeth II being a psycho killer.
40:21You know, Jack Whitehall.
40:23Of course not.
40:25It's unlikely, isn't it?
40:28In Leeds.
40:30Have you seen out of Auntie Margaret since she's been back off her halls?
40:33So, she called round last night.
40:35She didn't come in.
40:36She just stood at the door because she'd been sorting out at Arcadia's.
40:40Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
40:42Margaret didn't have a right lot to say.
40:44I can't believe, since Margaret's come back off holiday, none of us have heard anything off her.
40:50Where's she been?
40:51Been to Selby with Barry.
40:52Yeah.
40:53Her and Barry being out for a drive.
40:55God.
40:55You'd think she'd have had enough of him after spending 11 nights with him.
40:59I think I'd want to strangle Toby after 11 nights on holiday with him just us two.
41:04Never mind go for a drive to Selby.
41:06I know.
41:08Bloody hell, Margaret.
41:09Put Barry down.
41:11She can't get enough of him.
41:12This week, the world's sexiest man was putting us to sleep on the BBC.
41:18I'm keeping the remote.
41:19I know.
41:19Why are you keeping the remote?
41:20Because you won't let me watch it.
41:22Oh, God.
41:24Will you sit still?
41:25Oh, giddy.
41:27See Baby's Bedtime Story.
41:30We're watching See Fucking Baby's.
41:32Hello.
41:33I'm Jonathan.
41:34Oh, hello.
41:36Jonathan.
41:37I know who you are.
41:38Oh, calm down.
41:39I'm not calming down.
41:41It's bedtime.
41:42Do you love magic?
41:43Oh, yeah.
41:43I love magic, Jonathan.
41:45He's just been crowned the most sexiest man 2025.
41:49Christ almighty.
41:50I'm dying to watch this then, Julie.
41:52Yeah, me too.
41:53Oh, he's doing this for the mums, isn't he?
41:56Is he?
41:57Well, aren't some does.
41:59I'd love to be able to cast spells like witches and wizards.
42:02Oh, he's got a lovely voice.
42:03He has got a nice voice, hasn't he?
42:04It's rather smoothy.
42:05It'd be good for telephone sex, if you weren't into that.
42:09And if I was magical?
42:10Do you know what I'd do right now?
42:13What?
42:13I think you're magical, Jonathan.
42:15Oh, please, can you get a grip?
42:17You know, if I was magical, you won't be fucking sat in there.
42:21You won't be telling bedtime stories.
42:23Yeah.
42:24I'd conjure up a cute, cuddly little friend to sit here with me while I read you a bedtime story.
42:30I bet you would.
42:32That's me!
42:33I'm cute!
42:34I'm cuddly!
42:35I'm the one you want!
42:39There he is.
42:41Ladies.
42:43Maybe I am magic after all.
42:45I think you are.
42:46No, I see.
42:46I can't cope with this.
42:47Oh.
42:47What are you talking about?
42:49Oh, is he?
42:50Look at Jonathan's bulge.
42:52Bloody hell.
42:54I love a jeans bulge.
42:56Do you?
42:58Now, we're ready for a magical bedtime.
43:02Oh.
43:02So, snuggle up and get ready for an exciting adventure.
43:07Okay.
43:08Snuggle up.
43:08I'm getting snuggled, Jonathan.
43:11I think you should go home and watch this.
43:13It's called Room on the Broom.
43:14Room on the Broom.
43:17Oh, Room on my broom, mate.
43:19Oh, for fuck's sake.
43:21And it was written by Julia Donaldson.
43:24Julia Donaldson.
43:25One of my favourite actual authors, that.
43:27Julia Donaldson.
43:29She writes kids' books.
43:30Yeah.
43:30With illustrations by Axel Schaeffler.
43:33Say Axel Schaeffler, Steve.
43:36Axel Schaeffler.
43:38Not bad.
43:39The witch had a cat and a very tall hat and long ginger hair, which she wore in a plait.
43:47The witch is ginger like me.
43:49Yeah, she looks a bit like you.
43:50And how the cat spat.
43:51That's insulting.
43:53How the cat purred.
43:56Oh.
43:58Purred.
43:59What is going on here?
44:00Do you know, this is definitely not bedtime story.
44:03And how the witch grinned.
44:05I'm lost and transfixed by this.
44:07He could be reading the Bible for all I know.
44:10Then, out of the bushes, on thundering paws.
44:14You don't have to look at the pictures.
44:16You just listen to his voice.
44:17The dog with the hat in his jaws.
44:19He dropped it, politely, then eagerly said...
44:24Bent over and pick it up.
44:27Banana.
44:28I am a dog, as keen as can be.
44:31Is there room on the broom for a dog like me?
44:34Are you attracted to him?
44:35Well, I think he's quite entertaining.
44:38You wouldn't throw him out.
44:39That tells me I'm not the right age group to go out with him.
44:42However, my only thing I have against this is I'm dreading it ending.
44:49She dropped it, politely, and bent her head low.
44:52Go on.
44:54Then said, as the witch tied her plait in a bow,
44:57I am a bird.
44:58I'm a bird.
44:59As green as can be.
45:01Is there room on the broom for a bird like me?
45:04Yes.
45:05Is there room on your broom for a bird like me?
45:09They shot through the sky to the back of beyond.
45:13The witch clutched her bow, but let go of her wand.
45:19So now the wand's gone now, so who's going to find the wand now?
45:22You two are invested in it.
45:24Then, all of a sudden, from out of a pond,
45:28leapt a dripping wet frog with a dripping wet wand.
45:33A dripping wet wand?
45:35Oh, for God's sake.
45:37That's a bit much.
45:39I'll tell you what, you'd be paying £2.50 a minute if this Ron Boebs takes you.
45:44Over the moors and the mountains they flew,
45:47the frog jumped for joy and...
45:50Oh!
45:51What's that?
45:52The broom snapped in two.
45:54Oh, my days!
45:56Oh, the last thing you want to do is snap your broom mid-flight.
46:00The witch was so kind to let the dog, the bird and the frog
46:04join her and the cat on the broom.
46:06Yeah.
46:07I wonder if there's room on the broom for a Jonathan like me.
46:10Good night.
46:12I don't think so.
46:15Oh!
46:16Turn it off.
46:18Night-night, Lee.
46:19Night-night.
46:19Night-night.
46:22Well, Sandy's doing the Riviera by rail.
46:27Toxvig takes the train tomorrow at five past eight.
46:30And we've got new drama, a true story from the Troubles.
46:34Maxine Peake and Lola Petticrew in Say Nothing beginning Monday at nine.
46:39Stay with us here on Channel 4.
46:40The Last Leg is on the way next.
46:42Night-night, Lee.
46:44In theAND.
46:45If I fail...
46:45If I fail...
46:47If I fail...
46:47If I fail...
46:49Gracias por ver el video.
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