Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 07
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00I might do a little set at your birthday party.
00:03Good evening, everybody, and welcome to your birthday party.
00:07No.
00:08There's something not right with this.
00:10I don't like the squeaks.
00:14It's just because the microphone goes near the speaker.
00:19Shit!
00:20Oh, you've shit me up there.
00:22It's because you've turned it down, you dickhead.
00:24Yeah, well, I don't want to burst me out.
00:26Save it for the party.
00:30Yes!
00:33Ooh, happy days.
00:35Oh, Daniella, I like this.
00:36He's gone and done and did it.
00:37I don't trust him because he's teetotal.
00:39Oh, no, no.
00:40Cryptic that in there. Convoluted that.
00:43Oh, no, no.
00:45What a waste of a muffin.
00:47Boo!
00:48What's that?
00:50Unacceptable!
00:51Yeah!
00:52What the hell?
00:54Is that it?
00:55There's not much evidence of man-boob, is Samara?
00:58It's a tough day to be a fish.
00:59Oh!
01:00Oh, no.
01:01Oh, he's a badger.
01:02He is, he's a badger.
01:03Oh, man, he's got one in and one out.
01:06It's the kind of trash I adore.
01:08Was that good for you or was it was for me?
01:11In the week Liam Gallagher became a granddad, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:18Posh Spice had got her own show on Netflix.
01:21Why do you like the Spice Girls so much?
01:23Because they're so cool and they're so fun and it's all about girl power.
01:27What actually was girl power?
01:29We don't know, boss.
01:30We're not meant to know.
01:31Yeah.
01:32It's ethereal, isn't it?
01:33Ethereal.
01:34Yeah.
01:35I think you just get empowered girls to kick guys in the nuts a bit more.
01:40I remember my time at school, I got nut shotted a lot by girls and then they just went girl power and did like that.
01:48Yeah.
01:49Leaving you in a heap, wondering whatever girl power was.
01:52Yeah.
01:53It hurt.
01:54Are you sure the sign was that and not that?
01:58It might have been that, yeah.
02:01Blue Nights was packing a punch on BBC One.
02:04I've never really had anybody close to me dying before.
02:08I did think about it for a while after that, like how someone can be there and then just not be.
02:17That's what one notices when people die, haven't you noticed that?
02:20What?
02:21One minute they're there and the next they're not.
02:25It's a bit like you when you go to London.
02:28I look at that chair and one minute you're there and the next you're in London.
02:32And Northampton's finest wrap the wheel on Channel 5.
02:36Risk, medium, currently due to speed.
02:401, 1, 5.
02:42Traffic remains light.
02:44I go into, like, lower the driver mode when I see police if they're behind me.
02:49Like, hands are ten and two, passing the wheel between both hands.
02:54Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.
03:00Not eating a Greg's pasta and driving with one hand.
03:03In Manchester...
03:04I might get you another colour of these for your birthday if you're not going to come up with ideas.
03:17I am thinking about things.
03:18It's an SV248, which is an off-axis guider that I haven't got that would be nice.
03:22Right, you're getting some links.
03:23Alison, her husband, George, and her daughter, Helena.
03:27What was it?
03:28You're going to get an off?
03:29S Club 7 album.
03:31It's an off-axis guider.
03:33What's that?
03:35Well, you screw it...
03:36I've said something wrong here.
03:38Why did you do that?
03:39I don't know.
03:40You've enabled him.
03:41You screw it with an appropriate adapter, taking account of your backfold.
03:44Quick, shut it down, Mum.
03:45Is it something to stick on your telescope?
03:48Yes.
03:49There we go.
03:50Why didn't you just say that?
03:52He likes an opportunity.
03:53No, it doesn't explain what it is.
03:54He wants an extender for his telescope.
03:55I think most men want that.
03:57No, it means you can attach...
03:59This week, it was eyes down for the latest instalment from Brand Beckham on Netflix.
04:05Okay.
04:07So excited for this.
04:08No, no, I'm beyond excited.
04:10The thing about Victoria Beckham is that you look at her, you stare and you stare and you can't find anything wrong with her.
04:17Have you noticed that, Nutty?
04:18And she does clothing and she does makeup.
04:21Yes, yes.
04:22I've got an eyeliner.
04:23Oh, how beautiful!
04:25I think it's green.
04:26I don't know why I chose green.
04:28Victoria Beckham, the posh spice of the Spice Girls.
04:31One of the top-selling female pop groups in history.
04:34Posh were my favourite Spice Girls.
04:36She was.
04:37You always wanted to be her.
04:38Always wanted to be her.
04:39I couldn't be further from her.
04:41Exactly.
04:43She was easy on the eye, but not so easy on the ears.
04:51Fish the date, Victoria.
04:52Come on.
04:53If you actually think about it right, really, in the normal world, they'd be called Vicky and Dave, wouldn't they?
04:58Vicky and Dave.
05:01He's a plasterer.
05:02She's a nail tech.
05:03She obviously couldn't.
05:06Who's that little old man?
05:08I think you just started.
05:11This is David.
05:12I'm trying to work out a milkshake here.
05:13What?
05:14Let's look normal, David.
05:15We'll use a blender.
05:17When you don't want to listen to me, you just have.
05:20When you don't want to listen to me.
05:21What?
05:22God, I love him so much as well.
05:24Oh, grow up.
05:26He's too young for you.
05:29That's what you think.
05:31Right, I've got to get to work.
05:32Love you.
05:33OK, love you.
05:34He's got to get to work.
05:35What does he do?
05:36Is he doing the football still?
05:37Do you know what?
05:38I don't know whether I like that kitchen.
05:41It's about me.
05:42Why?
05:43Big Doc.
05:47Hi, good morning.
05:48How are you?
05:49How many people she's got working for her?
05:50Goodness me.
05:51There's loads of people in there.
05:52Wow.
05:54Did you have a good weekend?
05:55Relaxing?
05:56Did you have a good weekend, employee?
05:58Yes.
06:00Employee number 452.
06:01These aren't mine, are they?
06:02These ones are yours.
06:03Amazing.
06:04Yes, this is your studio, Victoria.
06:06I mean, is she designing these or has she got someone in to do it?
06:10She does so much that she can't remember everything.
06:13Absolutely gorgeous.
06:17So much better on the cut there.
06:18Fucking Harry Hill.
06:21It's like a dog when it's had an operation.
06:24Stop licking your stitches.
06:26Well, I see one of them in the outlet.
06:29You said it'd go nice with my boots with the pink laces.
06:33So nice.
06:34Yeah, so amazing.
06:35Zip it right up.
06:36Right up.
06:37Yay!
06:38Fantastic!
06:39The shoulder looks great.
06:40The collar's nice and strong.
06:41Oh, yeah.
06:42Absolutely stunning.
06:43Really brings out your eyes.
06:44I can see myself in a laundis with this up.
06:45Put the money in the bag.
06:46We've been married for 25 years.
06:47Is that their house?
06:48Fucking can't be.
06:49How many different kitchens have they got, for God's sake?
06:56Can't go to the palace with just one earring in.
06:57She can't go to the palace with just one earring in.
06:59She can't go to the palace with just one earring in.
07:00She can't go to the palace with just one earring in.
07:01She can't go to the palace with just one earring.
07:02Pick that up.
07:03Do you want a whisper?
07:04Do you want a whisper?
07:05A little whisper?
07:06That's quite cute.
07:07A little whisper?
07:08A little whisper?
07:09That's quite cute.
07:10David Beckham is cracking out the dad jokes in this.
07:11I'm here for it.
07:12What is the matter?
07:13Are you going to cheer up a bit, or what?
07:14They're a bit dull, aren't they?
07:15You're being a bit dull.
07:16They're being a bit dull.
07:17I haven't touched chocolate since the 90s.
07:18It's not going to start now.
07:19Not touched chocolate since the 90s?
07:20I'm not going to start now.
07:21Not touched chocolate since the 90s?
07:22I haven't touched chocolate since 9 o'clock this morning.
07:23It's been about half an hour for me.
07:24Gorgeous.
07:25You look lovely.
07:26Obviously a little photo shoot before they go to the palace.
07:41I've looked miserable.
07:42We've got time for this story.
07:43I've looked miserable for all the time.
07:45I've looked miserable for all the time.
07:47We've got time for this story.
07:48I've looked miserable for all the rest of my life.
07:51I've been miserable for all these years.
07:52Oh, here we go. Everybody says she looks miserable.
07:54You do, love. I hate to say it, but you do.
07:57It's because when we stand on the red carpet,
07:59this guy has always gone on the left.
08:01Right. OK, now, I didn't realise that when I smile, which I do...
08:06When? When? Do you?
08:08I smile from the left, because if I smile from the right, I look unwell.
08:13We have the same side, and we always argue,
08:16and you always get the better of me, and then I just have to think,
08:19well, I'll just have to accept that I'm going to look a dog in this picture, then.
08:22You look a dog either way. OK, so, consequently, I'm smiling.
08:26He's had enough. I think David's had enough.
08:28This is a load of bollocks. I'm not listening to it.
08:31I'll go and get the fucking car running.
08:34See you later. Bye. Bye.
08:37I still don't feel like I know Victoria Beckham.
08:42No, I don't think Victoria Beckham knows Victoria Beckham.
08:46Marks is still on.
08:47You fucking little dick in there, showing me up like that.
08:50Fucking walking off while I'm trying to say that I do smile when I don't smile.
08:54Fucking making me look a twat.
08:56I hope you're playing to yourself.
08:58Yeah, well, when we get home tonight, you're in the fucking spare room,
09:02and we're playing Happy Families while we're at the palace.
09:04Fuck you, David.
09:05What the hell is this?
09:12Oh, so you found it, then.
09:13What the hell? I thought, he's such a wet wipe.
09:16I thought, what has he done?
09:17Sisters Ellie and Dizzy.
09:18I absolutely adore and love you, Tobes.
09:23Kiss, kiss, kiss.
09:26Look, don't you be getting jealous just because Nat doesn't send you nice, meaningful cards.
09:32I'm going to take a picture of this and send it to Nat.
09:36Nat'll shudder.
09:36I honestly think that you and Toby, how long have you been together? A year?
09:42I think that you two have got more pictures together than me and Nat have got throughout our entire relationship.
09:48On Sunday night, there were more experts perusing people's treasures on BBC One.
09:53Mummy got loads of dolls. Some of them might be worth something.
09:56Yeah.
09:58That might be a thing.
09:59If you see them missing, don't ask me no questions yet.
10:02I tell you why I like Antiques Roadshow, everyone's quite civilised on it and polite and you know there's no question there won't be gangs of swearing skinheads.
10:16Yeah, you're obsessed with skinheads, Natty, but they were a phenomenon of the 1970s, weren't they?
10:22I know, but I'm frightened of them.
10:22The 70s were about 40 years ago.
10:24I know, but there won't be yobs or hell's angels, skinheads, what else, what other yobs are there?
10:32Motherfuck.
10:36Really fun day out this would be, wouldn't it?
10:38I just collect fridge magnets and I can't see me ever being able to take them on Antiques Roadshow.
10:44When you came to my table and you said you had a coin collection.
10:46Right up my street, coins.
10:50What kind of coins is that? See, I've got coins upstairs.
10:52We need to go through that stash, man.
10:54I thought, oh dear, she hasn't read the blurb that we don't have a coin specialist or a stamp specialist.
10:59Oh!
11:00I didn't know that!
11:01Well, slap my ass and call me Jill.
11:03A single coin collection can take a day to go through, so we don't normally look at coins, unfortunately.
11:08Don't you remember, Ellie, when I found that dateless 20p, when all them 20ps got issued wrong with no date on, and I sold it for 70 quid?
11:16Why didn't you keep it?
11:18Young wanted the money.
11:19Tell me what you know about your coin collection.
11:21They look a bit boring.
11:22Yeah.
11:22Well, I went up into the loft, and I opened up this blue ice cream box and found these.
11:28Always in the loft, innit?
11:29It's always something in the loft.
11:31You know when I go in our loft, there's a Christmas tree wrapped up in a bin bag up there.
11:34That's all we've got.
11:35Yeah.
11:35She's got a coin collection.
11:36I can see that there are two with Queen Victoria's head on.
11:40Oh, wow.
11:40Queen Vicky.
11:42Dated in the 1800s, and then the rest all seem to be the sort of after Queen Victoria.
11:47Oh, so they're from years ago.
11:50George, Edward, all that.
11:51Well, are they worth editing?
11:53Well, let's see.
11:53Well, I can tell you in two sweet words exactly what this is.
11:58Fuck all.
12:00Thank you for your time.
12:02This is gold bullion.
12:04Gold bullion?
12:05That's what gold is.
12:06As if she's found gold bullion in her loft.
12:09She is quid-in.
12:12Oh, she's got a good I'm shocked face, hasn't she?
12:16These are gold sufferings.
12:17You've got 21 gold sufferings and two half sufferings.
12:21Oh, my goodness, they're worth a fortune.
12:23The sovereigns!
12:24I've got four sovereigns upstairs!
12:27In theory, they are legal tender.
12:29You could spend it.
12:29Stick them in a coin star machine!
12:31Yeah.
12:33Now, something that's important is the dating on them,
12:35because some of the earlier ones can fetch more for their collectible value.
12:39So, come on.
12:40For cross-eyed, how much is it worth?
12:42How much?
12:43Do you have any idea of their value?
12:44None.
12:45Absolutely none.
12:46No, none.
12:47It wasn't me.
12:48I didn't put them there.
12:49These, a year ago, were making ad auction £400 each.
12:54Now they're £5.50 each.
12:57Wow!
12:57You see?
12:59£550 each.
13:02That's why you mustn't throw away man's things in the attic.
13:04You hear that, yeah?
13:07So...
13:07She's adding up now in her head.
13:09Your collection here is worth the best part of £10,000 to £15,000.
13:15Wow!
13:17£15,000!
13:18This is what Antiques Roadshow is all about.
13:22Whoa!
13:23You can't even say wow!
13:25Woo!
13:25Woo!
13:26Right.
13:27Her flabbers have been gasted.
13:29Yeah, I've got coins in here, but I can't find the fucking key.
13:34I need to find the key.
13:37Izzy, guess how much that dateless 20p would have been worth now
13:42if you'd hung on to it.
13:44Oh, I don't know.
13:45£500.
13:46How much did you get for it at time?
13:48£70.
13:49And how long ago was that?
13:50Oh, 15 years ago.
13:52Right, so now they're going for £10,000 on eBay.
13:57Fuck off!
13:58Yeah!
13:59Get lost!
14:00That was my Antiques Roadshow moment!
14:03And you've sold it for £70 for fags and booze.
14:14In Surrey...
14:15This weekend, Jane...
14:16Yes?
14:17I was with my...
14:19The Dwarf Sports Association.
14:22What are you doing?
14:23And we played Bottia.
14:25104 players.
14:26Oh my God, Jane.
14:27I cleaned up.
14:28Simon and his sister, Jane.
14:30Simon!
14:31I got...
14:32Look at it!
14:34What are you going to...
14:35I got...
14:37Were you on a roll or something?
14:39Oh, Jane, I couldn't...
14:40I think I played 20 games in all and won 19 of them.
14:44There's only one in the rounds that I kind of lost a little bit.
14:47Were people booing you at the end?
14:48Bronze for the teams.
14:50That's okay.
14:51What do you mean, booing me?
14:52Well, it was getting boring.
14:55And the winner is Simon Minty.
14:57And the winner is Simon Minty.
14:59Were they not like...
14:59You know me.
15:00I'm a humble person.
15:01Oh, God.
15:02On Sunday night, the Hollywood actress was doing some culinary soul-searching on BBC2.
15:09I never understand people going to Spain and they want to roast dinner.
15:13Well, they're out there, Steve.
15:15I went to university in Madrid for three months.
15:18Did you?
15:19That's a long time.
15:20I mean, I put on my CV, I went to university in Madrid.
15:23I did a three-month language course.
15:25And I immediately said, university in Madrid on my CV.
15:28Well, you would.
15:29I could, I should, I would.
15:30I did.
15:32I'm Eva Longoria.
15:34Oh, I know her.
15:35Eva Longoria.
15:36I used to love desperate housewives.
15:39Sorry.
15:40And I'm exploring Spain and its 17 regions.
15:43I didn't know that.
15:44I didn't know that.
15:44I didn't know that.
15:4417, no.
15:46I have been to a few places in Spain.
15:48I can never remember what they call them.
15:50But I know I've been there.
15:52Somebody says an area where...
15:54Magaluf.
15:55No, I don't think I've been there.
15:57No.
15:58You went with me.
15:59Oh, did I?
15:59Oh, yeah.
16:01Sorry.
16:01Oh, look at her.
16:06Look at her new jeans.
16:07Would you ever look like that in a pair of jeans?
16:15Searching for...
16:16Twain.
16:18Spain, you idiot.
16:21Give me a paella and some Rioja and I'm a happy bunny.
16:26Potato buffers is nice.
16:29Hola.
16:30Hola.
16:31You all right?
16:32Javi Estevez opened La Tasqueria with a mission.
16:36What is that?
16:37To transform one of Madrid's oldest culinary traditions into high-end cuisine.
16:42Right.
16:43See, anything made with tweezers, you just know you're going to leave and want a cheeseburger afterwards.
16:48That's true.
16:49That's true.
16:50I heard Madrid don't have a beach or nothing.
16:52Are you ready?
16:53No point going.
16:54Madrid has a long history of eating awful.
16:57Awful?
16:57Oh, we've got a bit of awful.
16:59The usually discarded parts of the animals.
17:02Oh!
17:03Yeah, rather you than me, Eva, love.
17:04They're discarded for a reason.
17:06Why are we eating them?
17:07This I'm a little nervous about.
17:10What is this?
17:11We are talking about testicles.
17:12Oh!
17:13I'm out.
17:13Sorry.
17:14This dish is the bollocks.
17:17You need to try.
17:18Okay, please.
17:19Sure.
17:23Can you ask the bitches for testicles?
17:27Because I haven't seen it laid out before.
17:29When we think in this recipe, something like a pizza, okay?
17:32She doesn't look convinced.
17:34No.
17:35A testicle pizza.
17:37You have the confetti and some dried tomato.
17:41That's a nice little pizza.
17:42Everything tastes nice on pizza, apart from pineapple.
17:50Oh, and I'm water!
17:52Oh, my God, there's no turning back.
17:55Oh, she could have at least bitten it in half, Teresa.
17:58I wouldn't want to.
17:58Straight down the hatch.
18:02Hold on.
18:03Oh, no, she's still chewing.
18:12Mmm.
18:18That does taste like sausage.
18:19It tastes like sausage.
18:21That's a bit further up.
18:22That's the next cut.
18:26Seeing Javi's artistry up close in the kitchen has been eye-opening.
18:31I really don't know what to expect.
18:32And in the restaurant, he's taking it to another level.
18:35What's she got?
18:37What's this?
18:37No.
18:37Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:42That's what your head would look like if it had been in a deep bath, Ryan.
18:46The baby big head.
18:47No.
18:48Oh, I don't think I'd want that.
18:49Oh, have you seen the film, babe?
18:51I think Bubba's a bit worried her head's going to get fried.
18:53It has the ears and everything.
18:56Do you knife and fork it or what?
18:59Surely you don't eat it like a burger?
19:01Oh, I don't know.
19:02Just cuts a bit of the ear out.
19:04Yeah.
19:05That'll do me.
19:06Yeah.
19:06I'm actually quite full off the bollocks.
19:10I don't even know, is it fork, is it a knife, is it your hands?
19:13That makes it less sinister, putting on black gloves.
19:16Yeah.
19:17OK.
19:18OK.
19:19Oh.
19:19Oh, look at that.
19:22Oh, it's making me feel sick.
19:23And then we open.
19:24In the mouth.
19:25And then you find different parts.
19:27Oh.
19:27Oh!
19:28Oh, it's ripped its jaw in there.
19:31Why do you like to present it this way?
19:32Because we want to respect the animal.
19:34Oh, really?
19:35You're just dissecting it in front of somebody's ripping the fucking head off.
19:40Oh, my God.
19:41Oh, that was crisp.
19:42Oh, look at the crunch on that.
19:44It's like crispy crackling, that.
19:46Best bit of paw.
19:48This is truly unique, and I'm so happy I got to experience it.
19:52Thank you, so much.
19:52What's up, Melissa, for me?
19:54I can't imagine what they're having for pudding.
19:56I don't.
19:56Hairy pie.
19:58Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
20:00Not a chance, Julie.
20:01You know, I fancy now for watching this packet of park scratchings.
20:04No one turns you off food, does it?
20:10Sorry.
20:11Just ask her.
20:12Who is?
20:12Is Shay's enjoying herself right now in the sunshine?
20:15Shh.
20:16Shh.
20:16What?
20:17Quiet.
20:18There's no shade.
20:19Oh, that's so rude.
20:21Sarah and her husband, Andre.
20:23But I'm also happy that she ain't here because she ain't turning up the heating.
20:28That's another thing.
20:31Andre, the house is too cold, though.
20:33I can't blame Shay for doing that.
20:35No one ain't touching our thermostat.
20:36Oh, come on.
20:37And that's why I locked it.
20:38So we got to put on our jumpers, our socks, our thermal underwear, everything.
20:43Look, you got blanket.
20:44Just to walk around the house.
20:45See this?
20:45Blanket.
20:46Put this on.
20:46Electric blanket, too.
20:47You're just stingy.
20:48Everyone's got an electric blanket.
20:50It's coming up to Christmas.
20:51Don't be a Scrooge.
20:52I'm going to buy you a new electric blanket.
20:55On Monday night, there were more cops in cars catching criminals on Channel 5.
21:00Don't you remember when Janae got stopped for driving it right lane and she got a right bollock in?
21:04Yeah?
21:05I've been scared to drive it right lane since that.
21:07Me too.
21:08I think about that incident every time I drive in the right lane.
21:11The most I go is about 45, 50, and that's bad enough.
21:15I went down Portobello Street the other day and I got cramp in my foot and I couldn't get my foot.
21:19And I went over a speed bump.
21:21All my shopping went all over.
21:26It's a miracle Margaret's never been pulled by police.
21:29She's the only person I know that has to open the driver door to reverse to see better.
21:35Let's catch some perps.
21:40Interceptors Sandra Payne and Chris Lark are responding to a Grade 1 emergency.
21:44Ooh, I can't.
21:45Let's track it.
21:46We've got reports of a single vehicle RTC.
21:48Road traffic collision.
21:49It's driven into the centre of a roundabout.
21:52Oh, no.
21:53Drunk or drugs?
21:54Who put that roundabout there?
21:57Ray once did that when it was foggy.
21:59What?
21:59You know the Opel Road where the roundabout is?
22:02It was thick fog and he ended up on the roundabout.
22:05He went through two sands.
22:08He was lucky.
22:09The next day we went to have a look.
22:10You could see his tire track.
22:13Eyewitnesses at the scene are speaking to the driver.
22:15The male was slurring his words, asking, don't call the police.
22:19Can you give me a lift?
22:22No police today, please.
22:25I'm innocent, but don't call the police.
22:27I know we're making a joke of it and a bit of a joke, but that is serious.
22:31Yeah, it is.
22:31He has a bruised forehead, two bruises above each eye.
22:35Damn.
22:36He had his top off.
22:37Ooh.
22:38He had his top off?
22:39Can you imagine driving topless?
22:42We'd get arrested just for that.
22:43Yeah, indecent exposure.
22:46The driver has ploughed into a roundabout and embedded his car in the undergrowth.
22:50Holy shit, look at that.
22:52He's lucky, he's all right.
22:53Look at how mashed up it is.
22:55All airbags have come out.
22:57The interceptor's priority is finding the driver who could have critical injuries.
23:01He's going to be easy to spot, semi-naked.
23:04They'd be able to recognise him because he's got a big bump on his head and no shirt off.
23:08Just did that, get you right there.
23:09Oh, could that be him, that, then?
23:13Oh, look, is that him there, Mary?
23:15Is it a guy with no shirt on?
23:16Hello, fella.
23:17Oh, you all right?
23:18You need to stay where you are, buddy.
23:19He's done everything wrong.
23:22Everything you shouldn't do, he's just done it.
23:24We're a bit worried about your welfare because you're **** on our avenue.
23:27Have I?
23:28Have I?
23:29You've crashed your car, haven't you?
23:31Have I?
23:31I'm just not walking with your dog.
23:32Where's your dog?
23:33Off.
23:33I want to make sure that you're fit and well, and we need to go through a breath test procedure
23:38on the roadside and smell alcohol on your breath.
23:41Oh, he stinks.
23:43Deep breath in and seal your lips around the tube and blow.
23:46Oh, what's it going to go up to?
23:49No, don't block it.
23:50Don't block it.
23:51You're not blowing into the machine.
23:52He's not blowing.
23:53He's not blowing.
23:54He's pretending that.
23:56Listen, there's no breath flow going through that tube, so you're blocking it with your tag.
24:00I'm trying, I've got asthma, so I'm trying to blow.
24:02No, oh, shut up.
24:04Oh, that old one.
24:06That chestnut.
24:07He's got asthma.
24:08I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.
24:11Attempt five.
24:12You understand the concept of blowing?
24:14I've heard that phrase before.
24:17Yeah, blow.
24:18I would tickle him.
24:20I would tickle him and then he would breathe out.
24:22What the police officer needs to say is, look, we've got a rectal one that is every time successful,
24:28so you either blow into this or we'll get the rectal one out and he'll blow.
24:33Right, listen to me.
24:35Open your mouth, seal your lips around the tube, do not block the tube with your tongue and blow.
24:40Well done, Sandra.
24:42God, you don't get paid enough to do that job, mate.
24:45Okay.
24:45You're not blowing.
24:53He's not blowing.
24:54He's still doing it.
24:55This police officer's got the patience of an absolute saint, hasn't she?
24:58Look, you shirtless shit.
25:00Do it properly.
25:01On the ninth breathtakingly bad attempt, they're calling it.
25:05He's arrested for failing to provide.
25:08Well, that serves them right.
25:09Well, they normally do it after three, not nine.
25:12I'm pretty cold.
25:13Can I have a jumper, please?
25:14I'm afraid we don't carry spare jumpers.
25:18We're not a wardrobe company.
25:20Oh, don't worry.
25:21Yeah, we've got a load of fashion up.
25:23What do you fancy wearing on the way to the police station?
25:26What size are you?
25:26We went to Zara earlier to get something.
25:28Oh, do you remember there was a man who walked round here shirtless, Mary?
25:32Bobblehat.
25:33No.
25:34No.
25:34Bareback Tommy.
25:35Bareback Tommy.
25:36He walked round the village, all round about the lanes, Mary.
25:41For years.
25:42For years.
25:44Come rain or shine without a shirt.
25:47But he did it for health reasons, I think.
25:49In the Cotswolds.
25:59I'm darling, something that has been really, really bothering me for quite a while since
26:03we've lived in this house now.
26:04What are you about to say?
26:05We, how have we not got a full length mirror?
26:08What do you mean a full length mirror?
26:09Who needs a full length mirror?
26:10You're a man.
26:11Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
26:13When people ask you the question, did you look in the mirror before you left the house?
26:17I'm not a girl.
26:18Well, who doesn't?
26:19Well, not me.
26:20Clearly.
26:21OK, well, people do always say to me, why don't you have any full length mirrors?
26:25Well, I've never had them because I don't use them.
26:28That's maybe why my socks always never match anything else.
26:30It's really time to start.
26:32OK.
26:32It's my birthday coming up.
26:34You want me to dress properly for your birthday?
26:36No, I want a mirror.
26:38Then we can work on that.
26:40On Friday, it was a common complaint that united us on BBC News.
26:45These crackers have gone soft.
26:48I did think they might be when you started buttering them off, but I just didn't say, oh.
26:52Do you think the news is getting better in the last few days?
26:56Oh, it is, surely.
26:58I think it is getting a bit better.
27:01That's what they want you to think.
27:02Now, if you've experienced problems using a parking app, you're not alone because three
27:07quarters of motorists have.
27:09I'm one of them.
27:10I've had enough problems with the parking app.
27:12Oh, I love it.
27:13I love it when there's stories about everyone being annoyed by the same things.
27:17Yes.
27:18But now the RAC is calling for drivers to have several options and not be forced to pay
27:23online.
27:24I agree.
27:25I agree.
27:25The problem is with this is that nobody accepts or carries cash anymore.
27:29We're in a cashless society.
27:30That's insane.
27:31Other options are cash and no one has that.
27:33The British Parking Association says it's working with providers to make apps easier.
27:38Yeah, it's a right nightmare.
27:39I must have about seven different parking apps.
27:43I thought I was just an old man.
27:45That annoyed me, but I'm guessing it's the same problem for near enough everybody.
27:49You've parked, sometimes a challenge in itself.
27:52That's true.
27:53Then comes the life-shortening tedium of working out how to pay.
27:57It is life-shortening, you're right.
27:59It is actually life-shortening.
28:01Look at all the information.
28:03So much stuff to read.
28:05The problem is, right, on these apps, it'll have a number there, like 842-559,
28:09you put that in on the app and it goes, not recognised.
28:14That set up that system to fail.
28:17Yeah, because they're robbing bastards.
28:19Get the cash in.
28:20I tell you what, at least Dick Turpin wore a mask.
28:23Do you have the right app?
28:24Do you really have to scan a QR code?
28:26No, you don't.
28:28There's a scam going around where they put fake QR code stickers over the real one
28:32and it's scammers stealing your money.
28:34So you stand, baffled and frustrated
28:37by technology that's meant to make things easier.
28:40Look at this.
28:41This is us.
28:42Margaret's buggered.
28:43She has to drive home when it's a parking app.
28:45Yeah, she can't use them, can she?
28:47There is some good news on the way.
28:49Ooh, good news.
28:50A new initiative called the National Parking Platform
28:53should allow motorists to use any app in any car park.
28:57Yeah, and I think that's a good thing.
28:58That's decent.
28:58Glimmer of hope.
28:59Oh, we're so grateful.
29:00For some, cash remains king.
29:03I think cash is king.
29:05It's just easy.
29:06That's me.
29:07Look, I've always got some coins in the car, Mary.
29:10And motoring groups are urging providers
29:12to continue to offer a range of ways to pay.
29:16He can't use that either.
29:18He's in his wallet as a supervisor.
29:20Oh, I hate modern technology.
29:22I know, I mean, well, I was buggered when they put computers in work.
29:27I thought, oh, God, here we go.
29:28Do you want my Tinder Prime?
29:34I mean, obviously, I can't use it, other than I've spoken for.
29:37Give me your Prime.
29:38But I get it free with my bank.
29:40Best friends Danielle and Daniella.
29:43I was thinking about getting a T-shirt printed, right, that says...
29:46Call me, please, I beg.
29:47Single, 40, in brackets, can you believe it, close bracket.
29:53Um, likes dogs, no kids, opens kids.
30:00How big is this T-shirt?
30:01It's going to have to be fucking massive, isn't it?
30:03Just get a T-shirt dress.
30:04And then I'll put my Insta handle on the back.
30:07DM me.
30:08Shag me.
30:09Or that.
30:09On Monday night, we were back on the beat with the boys and girls of Belfast on the BBC.
30:20I've got to get into this, Lee.
30:22Why?
30:23Because I do.
30:24And you've seen blue lights before.
30:25Yes, of course I have.
30:26All right.
30:28Can I get you a Malteser, sister?
30:29Well, that would be very nice, thank you.
30:31I've got one there.
30:32This is set in Belfast.
30:36I actually know a bloke who's Irish.
30:39Oh, really?
30:39No, no, O'Reilly.
30:417-2 from Uniform, we have a domestic call on 18 McLean Street.
30:45Appears to be from a child.
30:47A child?
30:48Oh, my God.
30:49See, triggered already.
30:51Listen, that's the home of a police officer.
30:53Be aware there's a registered firearm at the address.
30:56What do you say is the home of a police officer?
30:58A police officer going to shoot somebody?
31:00I don't know.
31:00Oh, do I know the young girl's on a just fucking rug-up?
31:03All right.
31:07Oh, that's the same doorbell as Michelle's.
31:09The ring doorbell?
31:10Yeah.
31:13Hello?
31:14He don't look very happy, does he?
31:15We've had a call from this address.
31:18There must be some mistake.
31:20It was from a child?
31:21Are there children in the house?
31:22He looks dodged, doesn't he?
31:24Yep.
31:24Nobody from here has called the police.
31:26Really?
31:26Oh, I don't trust him already.
31:28I don't know why.
31:28There's something about his face.
31:31May we come on?
31:33Get in that house.
31:34I'd go, who's called a child?
31:36Erwin!
31:39Listen, hold on a minute, will you?
31:41Hold on a minute?
31:42Why?
31:43Chief Inspector of Bonding.
31:45Neighborhood.
31:45So, can we come in?
31:47Yeah!
31:48Oh, my God!
31:49That's what I said.
31:50Chief Inspector!
31:50Sorry, but we'd still like to come on.
31:54Yeah, good.
31:54Ashley, step in there, girl.
31:56Tell him I'm coming in.
32:03Oh, spooky children.
32:07Oh, what was this?
32:08Oh, is this his wife?
32:09What's going on?
32:13It's all a bit frosty in the house, isn't it?
32:15You can feel the eggshells.
32:16Apparently, they got a call from this house from a child.
32:20I have no idea what's happened to her.
32:22She looks petrified, isn't it?
32:23Yeah.
32:24He looks guilty, mate.
32:25He looks shady.
32:26He's very guilty, and she's going to try and cover up for him.
32:29Uh, Olivia was saying that yesterday a police officer came out to her classroom.
32:35She was in the living room a while ago.
32:38Um, Plenna came on my phone.
32:40No.
32:41Not buying it.
32:41There we go.
32:42Not buying it.
32:42Nah.
32:43Not buying it.
32:43Not buying it.
32:44Mm-mm-mm-mm.
32:45Oh, they're making a story up here, aren't they?
32:47Do you mind if I talk to her?
32:48Oh!
32:49That's it, Ashley!
32:51That's it!
32:52I don't know if I just go and talk to her.
32:55Oh, use your authority.
32:56Go and speak to the kid.
32:58Uh, here she is.
32:59Oh, God, look at her.
33:01Hey, sweetie.
33:02Now, uh, Olivia, you called the police by accident on Daddy's phone, didn't you?
33:08Oh!
33:09She's coercing her what to say.
33:11Mm, you called him by accident on Daddy's phone, didn't you?
33:14We just wanted to make sure everything was all right.
33:18Are you OK?
33:19Doesn't look all right, does she?
33:20Well, how does she take it further?
33:23She's in a difficult position, Aisling, isn't she?
33:25Oh, side eye to Dad.
33:29Yeah.
33:30Dad's a rotter.
33:31She's scared of saying anything because of him.
33:33What do you say, Olivia?
33:35Sorry.
33:35Aw.
33:36Oh, Christ, man.
33:38It's grand.
33:39Don't worry.
33:41These things happen.
33:41You see, he's so controlling, isn't he?
33:46Lock him up.
33:47Lock him up.
33:49I don't trust that man's big looming head.
33:51No, I don't.
33:52The energy's off, isn't it?
33:54Taser him.
33:55Excuse me, what did you say your name was again?
33:57Angela.
33:58Oh!
34:00She said Angela.
34:01That's the code word.
34:02Yeah, that's the code.
34:02Ask Angela.
34:03Why is Angela?
34:05If you're ever in trouble at a bar or you need help...
34:08Is it Angela?
34:08It's ask for Angela.
34:10Oh!
34:11She just asked for Angela.
34:13Oh!
34:15She did.
34:16Maybe it was a mistake.
34:17It wasn't a mistake, Tommy.
34:18That was not a mistake, bro.
34:20Like, come on, my guy.
34:21Oh, Tommy, come on.
34:22Tommy, you're not much of a cop, are you?
34:24Aisling, what can we do?
34:27I mean, we didn't see anything suspicious.
34:30Yeah, but she's asked for Angela.
34:31You've got to help her.
34:32Like, nothing.
34:33He's going to hurt them.
34:34Yeah.
34:35I know he is, because I can tell the look on him,
34:38he's going to give him a clout.
34:40Later, with her concerns going unheard,
34:42Aisling took matters into her own hands.
34:47Oh, she's outside the house.
34:49Maybe she'll see a silhouette of malpractice.
34:54No, she's going in.
34:58This is a situation you've got to be right about.
35:00Yeah.
35:01Because if you are wrong...
35:02You're fucked.
35:03Yeah.
35:07Listen, I can hear him shouting.
35:09I told you, you stupid bitch.
35:11I told you.
35:12I knew it.
35:12Yeah.
35:13He's a piece of shit.
35:14She was right.
35:15She's followed her instinct.
35:16She was right.
35:16Now, get some backup.
35:17Oh, God.
35:22Oh, that poor woman.
35:23Oh, my God.
35:25You know what?
35:25Scum.
35:28Hurry the fuck up.
35:30What's he going to do?
35:31He's not going to hit her, is he?
35:32He's going to beat her up.
35:33Turn her eyes.
35:34Oh, my God.
35:36He's choking her.
35:37No, no, no.
35:40She's going in.
35:41Go on.
35:42Oh, she's off to it.
35:43Go in, Ashlyn.
35:44Don't matter.
35:45Go, Ashlyn.
35:48Fine.
35:49Oh.
35:49Oh, good last.
35:51Yeah.
35:53Go, Ashlyn.
35:54She's a deep-set now.
35:56Deep-set, Ashlyn.
35:57Oh, that was quite harrowing, that, wasn't it?
35:59You know what?
36:02That's normal day-to-day for some people, you know?
36:04Too many people.
36:05Bloody hell.
36:06You know, he's very lucky that she opted for the baton and not the gun.
36:10Well.
36:11Because if that were me, I'd have got in that back door and shot his cock off.
36:15I just don't think blowing somebody's cock off's the answer.
36:18Well, it is for me.
36:20We'll have to agree to disagree there.
36:21We'll have to agree to disagree there.
36:51Wait, no.
36:52And she just went...
36:54Good morning!
36:58Now I'm not...
36:58Daddy's definitely awake.
37:02Oh, I'm up.
37:04On Saturday night, the remaining celebs were donning their dancing shoes on BBC One.
37:10Hey!
37:11Can you do the hits?
37:13Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
37:15Da-da-da-da-da-da.
37:17Can't be rid of this on a Saturday.
37:18I know where else I'd rather be.
37:20Well, probably at home we were missing kids, but nobody's got a gun to your hand. Well, you know, they were doing me
37:26I think I thought I'd come round here
37:28Oh, movie night. You like a movie week, don't you? I love the movie week. I love Halloween. She loves Halloween. Those are my two favourites
37:36Dancing the Paso Doble from the movie Thunderbirds, Ross King and Yovita Prisca. Come on, Ross, don't cock this up, love
37:44The Paso Doble is intense, man
37:46Five
37:47Four
37:49Three
37:51Three
37:51Three
37:52Two
37:53One
37:55Thunderbirds are gold
37:58Oh, I thought those actually were puppets. No, those are people, Mary. Those are the contestants. Yes.
38:10This would be ideal for Ross because he's very wooden. They've played into his strength, haven't they?
38:16Look at the belly. Could he have his chest out a bit more, please?
38:27There's not really much going on, is there? It's more like a march, isn't it? Yeah. He's a bit wooden poo bugger, isn't he?
38:34But he's Scottish, so we have to see. Yeah, come on, Ross!
38:37No, no, no. Anyone could do that. This isn't dancing, is it? Let's be honest.
38:53I can't believe I'm watching this. It's so bad. Have they had a week doing this?
39:01He was airborne for a minute there. He was airborne. He was airborne. I mean, what kind of dance is this called?
39:09Shit. That's what it's called.
39:10Yes, Dan. Wow. You've been stunned by that, haven't you?
39:22Do you know what the best bit about it was? It finished. Yeah.
39:25In Leeds. I cannot believe how long Nat was at yours yesterday doing them radiators.
39:36Honestly, I was mortified. And that he came home and says to me, have you got anything for me to eat?
39:43I says, well, did Izzy not feed you? Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
39:46I'd made the dinner. I said, shall I plate you some up, Nat? Do you want me to plate you it up and you can take it home?
39:52No, thank you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
39:55As if there were a full Sunday dinner, on offer, roast chicken hot out the oven and he said no.
40:02I know.
40:02And do you know what he says to me when he got in? Well, I thought you'd have been to the shop and got us some.
40:06I had not been to the shop. I hadn't got anything.
40:10I knew you better than Nat knew you in that moment, hence me trying to force feed Nat chicken.
40:15And do you know what he ended up having when he got home?
40:18What? An omelette. How depressing.
40:22This week, we caught up with the misfits from MI5 on Apple TV+.
40:27The only bad thing about slow horses, I think, is it's not on every night.
40:32Because it's so wonderful.
40:34We're spoiled for dramas at the minute, especially with slow horses, aren't we?
40:37They're like busses. Who wants to go out when that's on?
40:40The big boys are gay.
40:43You've got to hunker down, get the winery, get the snacks there and just watch it, aren't you?
40:47Mm.
40:47Oh, my gosh, you're going to blow his head off?
40:54You're going to blow his head off on stage?
40:55That's one of the mayor candidates, isn't he?
40:59Yeah.
40:59Going to blow his head off, he said.
41:04Vote Dennis Gimble.
41:05He's one of the candidates.
41:07Yeah.
41:07So there's two rallies going on today and they don't actually know which one the shoot was going to.
41:14Conway Hall, weren't we at... didn't we have a wedding reception in there?
41:18We did.
41:20We did.
41:22We did, didn't we?
41:23Yeah.
41:27So is that two of the slow horses?
41:29River and Coe.
41:30There's a lot of bald heads, isn't there?
41:37Yeah.
41:37Is this the far right type of camera?
41:40I think this is the far right.
41:41Oh, yeah.
41:42Right, let's check the sight lines.
41:44It's an auditorium and a stage, so it's one big sight line.
41:47They're scoping out the joint to see where the assassins could be.
41:51Mm-hmm.
41:52See where the threat is.
41:53This is the rival event, darling.
41:59This is the Jaffrey event.
42:00It's a bit of a different environment.
42:02Very different.
42:03Yeah.
42:04Very different.
42:05We need to sit through his speech.
42:07Little being bland, but inoffensive.
42:10Shirley and Standish.
42:11They've gone to the other venue, aren't they?
42:13So they've sent the two women to one and the two blokes to another.
42:17Where's the centre in that?
42:18Oh.
42:18Oh, who's that?
42:23Oh, hang on, hang on.
42:24What's going on?
42:25What is this?
42:27She's spotted a rat, haven't she?
42:29She's shit-hard on, spotted.
42:30A scooter's ever, oh, Shirley.
42:32She is, yeah.
42:33We haven't got you down.
42:34I got to go from maintenance.
42:36It's the shooter.
42:36Yes, it is.
42:37There he is.
42:39They were on the telephone earlier saying he was going to blow someone's head off.
42:43Light in the ladies' toilets.
42:44Broken.
42:45They're not going to let him in, surely.
42:46Well, they wouldn't have a TV show if they didn't let him in.
42:48Well, at least now we know which rally the assassination's going to take place at.
42:53Yeah, it's going to be Geoffrey's, isn't it?
42:55Okay, fine.
42:58Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
42:59Who's talking is way in?
43:00Good for them.
43:01Lax.
43:02Lax security.
43:03Please, Shirley, I hope you're following him.
43:05She's definitely on him.
43:06Yeah.
43:07Number four!
43:11Where's Geoffrey?
43:12Oh, bloody hell.
43:13Oh, no, he's about to come on stage.
43:15Come on stage.
43:15Come on stage.
43:18Oh, oh, oh, what's she seen?
43:20What's she seen?
43:20What's she seen?
43:21What's she seen?
43:21What's she seen?
43:23Oh!
43:25No, there's a shadow.
43:25She's a shadow.
43:27In the face of my generation.
43:29Oh my Christ.
43:30No!
43:31It's got a bullseye view from there.
43:37What?
43:37All right, she's got to do something now.
43:39Come on, Sandy.
43:40Come on, Sandy.
43:40She's got to do something now.
43:42Why do you hate motorists and wanker?
43:44Yeah, that is how to do with it.
43:46Call him a wanker.
43:47Call him a wanker.
43:48Throw you water at him.
43:52Yes, go on, Shirley!
43:53Yes!
43:54Lick him down!
43:56Come on, Shirley!
44:00Girl, oh my fucking God.
44:02Shit!
44:02He's fighting back!
44:05Oh, right in the face.
44:07The steam right in the face.
44:08Man blinded himself.
44:10Yeah.
44:10Oh, he's got away!
44:16That's the kind of thing that happens in Scooby-Doo,
44:18where something creates steam and they vanish.
44:21Yeah.
44:21Yeah.
44:22It's just a big episode of Scooby-Doo.
44:25Come on, you've been down before.
44:28Maybe they never find out.
44:29We're back at Gimble's now.
44:30What's going on here?
44:31Gimble, I asked you for face-to-face.
44:33Not now.
44:34This is Geoffrey's chief of staff, Bowman.
44:36What is he doing here?
44:38Anything.
44:40He's getting into it with a man outside the stage door.
44:44Oh, no, they're going to think now that Bowman is there to kill Gimble.
44:49You're barking up the wrong tree, lads.
44:50Yeah.
44:51The girlies have got the right guy.
44:53You two are bloody chasing your tails.
44:57Oh, he's off.
44:58He's off.
44:59That's fast.
45:00Don't go in all guns blazing, River.
45:02Just chill, chill.
45:02Little bitly.
45:06Oh, shit!
45:07No, no, no, no, no, River.
45:10You've got the wrong man.
45:11Stop it now.
45:12Oh!
45:17Fucking calm down, all right?
45:18Oh, my God.
45:19We've got a shooter.
45:20Well, this escalated real fucking quick, didn't it?
45:22It's just too exciting.
45:24We need a Malteser.
45:24Oh, no, oh, what's this?
45:36Oh, flip!
45:37It's like Mousetrap Race.
45:39I played this with kids.
45:41Bulldog spirits alive in the younger generation.
45:44I'm MI5 and there's been a threat to your safety.
45:46Yeah, probably.
45:46Oh, shit.
45:48Oh, my God.
45:49It's like a chain reaction.
45:50Actors, yeah.
45:50Are you doing the deep-stakes dirty work?
45:52I'll do...
45:53Look out!
45:55I'll do fuck off.
45:57Oh, fucking hell.
46:01They're supposed to be protecting him.
46:03Oh, my God.
46:04Paint Pot?
46:05Yeah.
46:05Killed by a Paint Pot.
46:06Can you imagine?
46:12Shit!
46:13Yeah, he really is dead, isn't he?
46:16What a way to go.
46:17Oh, no.
46:18Emulsioned.
46:18He's feeling a bit emotional about this.
46:26Well, you'll find details about support that's available for any issues raised in Gogglebox
46:30tonight at channel4.com slash support.
46:34Next here on Channel 4, it's not just this week's telly that's getting grilled tonight.
46:38The Last Leg is back with guests Frank Skinner and Stevie Martin first up.
46:43Oh, you're a perfect, perfect, perfect world.
46:47Beautiful, perfect, perfect world.
46:51You
Be the first to comment