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Gogglebox Season 26 Episode 04 br EnglishMovie cdrama drama engsub chinesedramaengsub movieshortfull
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00:00Is he do one?
00:01Wah!
00:02Can Bobby do one?
00:04Wah!
00:05Can Mummy do one?
00:07Wah!
00:08Oh, God!
00:09Can Ezra do one?
00:11Wah!
00:12Wah!
00:13That was scary!
00:20Yes!
00:21Ooh!
00:22Happy days!
00:23Oh, Daniella, I like this!
00:24He's gone and done and did it!
00:25I don't trust him because he's teetotal.
00:27Oh, no!
00:28Cryptic that in there.
00:30Convoluted that.
00:31Ooh!
00:32Oh, no, no!
00:33What a waste of a muffin!
00:34Ooh!
00:35Ooh!
00:36What's that?!
00:37Unacceptable!
00:38Yeah!
00:39Ooh!
00:40Nah!
00:41What the hell?
00:42Is that it?
00:43There's not much evidence of man-boob, is there, Mary?
00:46Oh, I hate Swiss roll.
00:47Oh, no!
00:48Oh!
00:49Oh, no!
00:50Oh, he's a badger.
00:51Yes, he's a badger.
00:53Oh, man, he's got one in and one out!
00:55It's the kind of trash I adore.
00:57Was that good for you as it was for me?
01:00In the week ITV turned 70, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:07A scandal was brewing in the staff room on BBC One.
01:10You'll be able to put your side of the story across during the inquiry.
01:13I don't believe this.
01:15Because I was a supervisor, they'd always, if there was an investigation, can you take notes?
01:20Can I?
01:21I used to love it.
01:22Yeah.
01:23She's done what?
01:24And then, everything said in this room is strictly private and confidential.
01:28Straight out of the door.
01:29Of course it is!
01:30Of course it is!
01:31Straight in the brew room.
01:33She's been nicking!
01:35The Chelsea set hit the beach on E4.
01:41Thanks.
01:43Hello.
01:44Imagine having perky tits that you could wear a top like that with no brown walk down beach.
01:48I was literally just thinking that.
01:52Might have been more.
01:55And ITV news was breaking all the big stories.
01:5912.30, Sunday lunch on ITV1 and STV.
02:01Now finally this evening there is just one rule that magicians must abide by.
02:05Don't reveal your secrets.
02:06That is perhaps why a pen and teller, an act seen by millions around the world.
02:10How long was that sentence?
02:12Did you notice that?
02:13She didn't even draw a second bit of breath.
02:15The lung capacity.
02:16The lung capacity.
02:17I was waiting for some pause or something.
02:19Nothing.
02:20That's why Julie Etchingham does what she does.
02:22She's a professional man.
02:23That lung capacity man, forget it.
02:25Like a rocker, isn't she?
02:26Yeah.
02:27Do you think that before the news comes up she goes...
02:29Yeah.
02:30Yeah.
02:31In Wiltshire.
02:40By the way, if I do die Mary I want to insist on something.
02:43I don't want the Frank Sinatra sing a song I did it my way at the funeral.
02:48You didn't do it at all let alone doing it your way.
02:50No, I didn't do it.
02:52But also I don't want Bohemian Rhapsody either.
02:54No.
02:55Giles and his wife Mary.
02:57What do you want?
02:58I wish it could be Christmas Every Day by Slade.
03:01You couldn't want that.
03:03Erm.
03:04That would be so annoying.
03:07Annoying right to the last minute.
03:10On Sunday night a brand new group of brave singles were saying I'd do again on E4.
03:17They get married at first sight.
03:19It took you seven years to ask me.
03:22I don't want to make a mistake ever.
03:24Coming in.
03:25Yikes.
03:26OK, this is more comfy.
03:31I haven't seen it.
03:32No, no, have I?
03:33Just the title makes me feel.
03:34I've heard about it, yes.
03:35I thought it was ridiculous.
03:37This?
03:38The first to enter the experiment is 31 year old Sarah.
03:41See, she's getting on so she could do with getting married anyway.
03:4531's getting on?
03:47I want to be married by the time I'm 30.
03:49I usually don't get approached by men that often.
03:52I'm having too much of a good time.
03:54Oh, recruitment consultant.
03:55You know what they're like.
03:56That's a bit of you.
03:57That's a bit of you.
03:58I just love a bad boy.
04:01Oh, no.
04:02Shame.
04:04What are you looking at me for?
04:06I'm looking for a man who will cheese on me, lie to my face and call me a bitch.
04:13I really want to find a nice guy.
04:16And yeah, that somebody is just going to be my knight in shining armour.
04:19Yes.
04:20Oh, God love you.
04:21Not your usual type doll.
04:22No.
04:23But then she'll go for the usual type, shall we?
04:25I know, I know, I know.
04:27None of us learn, do we?
04:30My perfect husband would be someone who can match my energy.
04:34There we go.
04:35Oh, there he is.
04:36Is this going to be a knight in shining armour?
04:38A bit of a joker.
04:40Oh, he looks nice.
04:41I'm no expert.
04:42She don't like him.
04:43Who can have fun with me, have great sense of humour.
04:47And we're watching him laugh in slow motion to know that he's fun.
04:51If he doesn't look like what I would usually go for, it doesn't matter.
04:55I'm going to be open-minded.
04:56Will she, though?
04:57Yeah.
04:58I hope so.
05:00I've always been the cute, nice guy.
05:02Look at his dimples!
05:03Oh, the knob!
05:04My friends would describe me as a cheeky chap.
05:07Oh, he's a bad boy, all right, isn't he?
05:09Oh, yeah.
05:10I love to make sure people laugh and around me are having fun.
05:13Go on, Dean, yeah?
05:14He does seem like a nice guy.
05:16He is.
05:17He does seem like a nice guy.
05:18You could take him home to your grandma.
05:20You could.
05:21He'd be a good plus one at a party.
05:23I've been lucky enough to work in a variety of professions all based around entertainment.
05:26I started years ago as a redcoat at Butlins.
05:29He ain't got no bad boy in him at all.
05:33Like, I'm telling you, which bad boy goes to Butlins?
05:37Also a jack of all trades.
05:39I do magic.
05:40I've done puppeteering.
05:41What the hell?
05:42Oh, this is not for me.
05:43OK, he's lost me at puppet.
05:44Sorry, I'm out.
05:45I can do circus skills, singing, rapping.
05:48He is Mr. Entertainer.
05:49Isn't he?
05:50I think he is what she needs or what she thinks she wants.
05:55Yeah.
05:56But...
05:57He's not.
05:58No.
05:59He's not going to be setting your undies on fire, love.
06:00Do you know what I can say?
06:01Well, he might be as part of the magic act, but...
06:07Wedding day.
06:08Oh, God, I'm all nervous.
06:09There he is.
06:10Oh, look at him.
06:11Oh, look at the dicky bow.
06:12Oh, look at him.
06:13Oh, look at the dicky bow.
06:14Are you OK?
06:19Hi.
06:20Oh, friends are judging already.
06:22Oh!
06:23Oh!
06:24He is definitely not Sarah's type.
06:27Yes, we know that.
06:28We know that.
06:29But she's going to be open and try something new.
06:34Oh, Yumi Gorsham.
06:35Oh, Yumi, I know.
06:36I know.
06:37He's going to love her.
06:38She looks so beautiful in her dress.
06:39Look at that.
06:42There's the first look.
06:45Hey, what's your name?
06:46Sarah.
06:47Sarah.
06:48What's your name?
06:49My name's Dean.
06:50Dean.
06:51Oh, I don't know.
06:52Sarah seems happy as well.
06:53Just her friends don't seem happy for her.
06:54It started off good.
06:55The personality's there.
06:56I hope she's feeling the same.
06:59Oh!
07:00She can't look at her.
07:01She's not looking at her.
07:02She's not even looking at her.
07:03Oh, no.
07:05No, I don't fancy Dean.
07:06Oh, no!
07:07No!
07:08But you don't have to fancy.
07:09It's not all about...
07:10Oh, sorry.
07:11More to marriage than that.
07:12Yeah.
07:13Doesn't matter about look, 30 seconds ago.
07:16Sarah.
07:17I don't know anything about you yet, but I can't wait to discover all the idiosyncrasies that
07:23make you who you are.
07:24Love that, Dean, man.
07:25The what?
07:26Indiosyncrasies?
07:27Indiosyncrasies?
07:28Indiosyncrasies?
07:29There's something I've prepared.
07:30Oh, I'm excited.
07:31Oh, God.
07:32Oh, dear.
07:33No.
07:34No.
07:35No.
07:36If it's magic, stop now.
07:37When I saw you in that dress today, you did more than take my breath away.
07:42Oh, no, it's a wrap!
07:43No!
07:44No!
07:45Stop!
07:46All my fears alleviate.
07:47I know we're gonna be okay.
07:48He's been a bad boy!
07:49Come on, what's up with you lot, man?
07:50Come on, you see?
07:51This is why man can't get it right.
07:52Why we're matched, we may not know.
07:53Trust the experts and build a hope.
07:54Oh, God.
07:55Oh, God.
07:56Like, what the hell?
07:57Are we still going?
07:58It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
08:01Everybody, sing with me.
08:02No.
08:03No.
08:04No.
08:05No.
08:06No.
08:07No.
08:08No.
08:09No.
08:10No.
08:11No.
08:12No.
08:13No.
08:14No.
08:15No.
08:16No.
08:17No.
08:18No.
08:19Everybody, sing with me.
08:20When I say wed, you say ding.
08:22Wed.
08:23Wed.
08:24Oh, for heaven's sake.
08:25He's just the type of person that can't be embarrassed.
08:28Like, someone could pull his pants down at the altar.
08:31Oh, yeah.
08:32He just can't be shown up.
08:33Yeah.
08:34You never know, Jane.
08:35Maybe he will grind her down and she'll start liking him.
08:40You don't really want to grind someone down for them to begin to like you, do you?
08:44Really?
08:45Well, that's always been my strategy, Jane.
08:46I don't see.
08:47I was so excited now.
08:48In Durham.
08:49How have you settled into the new job, the naps?
08:51It was so strange on Monday, Tuesday.
08:52I felt like the new girl on the block.
08:53And I know it was the same office, but I just felt like it was a different place completely.
08:54Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
08:55Anyway, by the end of the week, I did build up the confidence to say to Holly, who I sit
09:00next to, do you mind if I eat my ham sandwich next to you?
09:01Oh, no.
09:02I'd say, yeah, go away.
09:03Bearing in mind it's only corn ham, so it doesn't smell or anything.
09:04That's so funny.
09:05Usually I have an egg sandwich though.
09:06Oh, God.
09:07Well, ask Holly about that next time.
09:08And I got confident eating the egg sandwich in the finance department, but I thought I
09:09can't eat theyticoload in first week with an egg sandwich.
09:23It doesn't smell or anything.
09:24That's so funny.
09:26Usually I have an egg sandwich, though.
09:27Oh, God. Well, ask Collie about that next time.
09:31And I got confident eating the egg sandwich in the finance department,
09:34but I thought, I can't come first week with an egg sandwich.
09:37I think give it a few months. Maybe it's after Christmas.
09:40On Monday night, the West Londoners were off on tour again on E4.
09:45What would you drink if he was really posh and he was in Chelsea?
09:48I don't know if Kyle was... Oh, great, I think.
09:50Oh, great, it'd be fine for me.
09:52Why are we talking like this?
09:54I don't really know.
09:56But people in Chelsea really have nice teeth.
09:58We don't talk like this all the time.
10:00I don't think so.
10:04You love this, don't you?
10:06Oh! In another life, I would be a Chelsea girl.
10:09Well, yeah, see, that's what I was getting to.
10:11I got a taxi home last night from King's Cross at about 11 o'clock,
10:15and he drove all through Chelsea.
10:17I thought, it's a nice place to live, you know?
10:19It's not too shabby.
10:20Yeah, I didn't see any of these Muppets.
10:22Oh!
10:23Cos this isn't Paris, and this isn't London.
10:26You've never been to Thailand?
10:28My friends Linda and Jackie have been there.
10:30It's very... It's a hot spot, lots of steps.
10:33I wouldn't recommend it.
10:34Oh, I see, but at the kickboxing.
10:40Oh, yeah.
10:41Oh, I love a bit of boxing.
10:42Yeah, he's really good.
10:44That could be the reason there's a few pounds being put on.
10:47It's because I'm not doing my boxer size.
10:49It's a hot spot.
10:50It's a hot spot.
10:51It's a hot spot.
10:52It's raining.
10:53It's raining.
10:54Oh, it's starting to rain.
10:55It's raining.
10:56Anybody picked you up and carried you?
10:58Look at me.
10:59No, I don't think so.
11:00The only time that happened to me was when I drunkenly fell off the scooter in New York.
11:08How was your night last night?
11:10Yeah, I had a fun night.
11:11I had a really fun night.
11:11This is Freddy.
11:12Good, I'm glad.
11:13Until I saw something so sus.
11:16What?
11:16What did you see that was suspect, love?
11:18What does sus mean?
11:19Suspicious.
11:20Oh, everything's shortened nowadays.
11:23Olly had his hand on Bex's inner thigh.
11:25Oh, no.
11:27Do you know Freddy was going out with Bex?
11:28Yes.
11:29Olly and Freddy are best mates and Olly's trying to get in there with Freddy's ex.
11:34As if that's not bloody mate code, is it?
11:36I did see Bex and Olly kiss.
11:40That.
11:41Olly wouldn't do that.
11:42Well, he fucking has, pal.
11:44He would.
11:45He did, apparently.
11:46Kiss more than once.
11:47No, no, no, no, but he's, he's told me.
11:50Oh, Freddy's actually upset.
11:52He feels betrayed.
11:53Oh, mate, it's not nice news to hear.
11:56I know exactly how you feel.
11:57He's gutted.
11:58He's going to faint.
12:00Sorry, pal.
12:02Tense.
12:03He struck me about that as well.
12:04He's fucking knocked me for six, sis.
12:07Fuck him.
12:08No, fuck him.
12:09Fuck him.
12:11Fuck him.
12:13They're like proper.
12:14Snogging each other on the beanbags.
12:17Is that another word for prisms?
12:20Shut up.
12:21Snogging each other.
12:22On the beanbags.
12:23Beanbags.
12:24I'm sorry, I misheard that.
12:25Stop it.
12:28How have you been feeling last, like, 24 hours?
12:30Are you OK?
12:30Um, I mean, obviously, it's not ideal with the Freddy and I situation.
12:34I've heard that he's pretty angry at me.
12:37He's fuming.
12:37Yeah.
12:39He is.
12:39Because you should have spoke to him first, you twit.
12:42One-on-one, you start to sort of like them.
12:45Ultimately, mate.
12:46Oh, here we go.
12:48Here we come.
12:49Come on, Freddy.
12:50Yes.
12:50There's nothing really to worry about as long as you just...
12:53What an entrance.
12:58I'm living for this.
13:01Ollie, you have outdone yourself, mate.
13:03There's nothing more intimidating than a slow cat walking over.
13:07What's up, Gene?
13:08You all right?
13:09How are you?
13:09Hi, Freddy.
13:10Not only are you a gigantic bellend...
13:12Oh!
13:14Gigantic bellend.
13:15Well, you can ask Bex about that, eh?
13:17A wallet.
13:19Do you know what a bellend is?
13:20A what?
13:20He just said you're a gigantic bellend.
13:23Never heard of it.
13:24I fucking...
13:25I hate you, Ollie.
13:26Oh!
13:27Would you go that far?
13:33I hate you!
13:35Come here, no.
13:35Come back and fucking deal with this like a mess.
13:37If you're going to talk to me like I'm a piece of shit...
13:39Oh, oh.
13:40He's coming back.
13:41He's coming back.
13:42You're a piece of shit, Ollie.
13:45Oh, he's shaking.
13:46You are a piece of shit, Ollie.
13:48I can't trust you.
13:50We're never going to be friends again.
13:52I mean that wholeheartedly.
13:54There is no coming back from this.
13:56Ever.
13:56Can't go where your mates exes.
13:58What have you done?
13:59If you was in the same position, me and you broke up,
14:02and then one of your best friends moves in on me.
14:05I just say best of luck to her.
14:07My heart, right?
14:08Thanks for that.
14:10Woo!
14:10A bellend.
14:11OK, imagine a man's appendage.
14:14Oh, yeah.
14:15OK.
14:15Have you got it now?
14:16Yeah.
14:17OK, well, that's a bellend.
14:18If you call someone a bellend, it's the end of their knob.
14:20Oh, I've never heard of that.
14:21It's like a dickhead.
14:22Oh, OK.
14:25I must remember that bellend.
14:29Yeah.
14:29In Bristol.
14:39Yo, man, let me never guess what I did.
14:41What's that?
14:42I went to orchestra by candlelight.
14:44Oh, I've been wanting to do that.
14:46You?
14:46Yeah, I've changed.
14:48Brothers Jermaine, Twain and Tristan.
14:51I'm not going to lie, I've changed.
14:52Best experience I've experienced for a long while.
14:55Well, yeah, so I need to do that.
14:57See, he's climbing mountains and he's doing orchestra by candlelight.
15:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:00This guy, bro, what up to you, blad?
15:02At 12.35, I've changed.
15:06On Tuesday night, Waterloo Road opened up the school gates for a new term on BBC One.
15:12Have you seen this before, Lee?
15:14Do you look like I used to watch it years ago?
15:16Yeah, I like it.
15:17I would go back to high school tomorrow.
15:19Would you?
15:20I loved every minute of it.
15:21I think I would as well, you know.
15:23John Richardson, is he the comedian?
15:28Not the John Richardson!
15:31Has he turned to acting now?
15:32Bloody hell!
15:37I'll tell you what, if I actually went to school at Waterloo Road,
15:40I'd get nothing done because I'd be that starstruck.
15:42You know, I'd be like, that's Kim Marsh over there.
15:43I know Kim Marsh taking English.
15:45Yeah.
15:45Yeah.
15:49What's that on the Saints?
15:51Oh, my God, is that drag?
15:52Oh, sniffing before school?
15:59John Richardson!
16:04Is he taking something like that packet?
16:07To get him through the deal?
16:08Maybe, maybe.
16:09But isn't it a blessing that neither you nor I is addicted to?
16:12What's that?
16:13Cocaine.
16:14Cocaine, ketamine or fentanyl.
16:16Or the other stuff.
16:18Um, skunk.
16:19Mr Donovan!
16:20Hey, sorry, you got that new starter look about you.
16:23Is this his first day?
16:25Literally a high school teacher!
16:27That's my brain!
16:28Mum, you don't get it, it's not right.
16:33I had no idea, honestly.
16:34When you're ready, Mr Charles.
16:36Is this the man in huddle?
16:37This is Darius Donovan.
16:39He will be joining us as our new creative arts teacher.
16:42Creative arts.
16:43Do you do creative arts at your school?
16:45Can't get my way from the art department.
16:47You're very arty, aren't you, Jake?
16:49Mm-hmm.
16:50And another not-so-new member of staff that really deserves a mention is Mark Todd.
16:55Mark has been shortlisted for the North West Teacher of the Year Award.
16:59Oh!
17:00Has he now?
17:02Shortlisted.
17:03He's not won it yet.
17:04APPLAUSE
17:05Oh, Darius isn't impressed, is he?
17:10He doesn't seem amused, does he?
17:11Seems like a bit of a hater.
17:12Yeah.
17:17Oh!
17:19Dropping his bag on the floor!
17:21At school?
17:23No way.
17:25Oh, my gosh.
17:26Mr Todd's found the packet.
17:27Is that what I think it is?
17:28Yes, it is.
17:29Listen, Mr Todd's teacher of the year, you know, he's definitely going to snitch.
17:33Yeah.
17:34I thought I was seeing things.
17:37One of their kids must have dropped it.
17:38Ooh!
17:39Oh, my God, he's blaming a kid!
17:42Hi, Mr Todd.
17:43Hi, Mr Todd.
17:44Oh, he's put them in his pocket.
17:46Well, because his pupils were going past, he could hardly keep them in his hand.
17:49If I was him, I'd be straight to the headmaster's office.
17:52I know, yeah.
17:53This is insane.
17:54Can you see his mind going?
17:56I can get him fired and I'll be the North West's best teacher.
18:00Wow.
18:01How has Darius got away with that as well?
18:04Hey, now that is the face of a teacher who's been here a few years.
18:08Not a few hours.
18:08I've just lost 30 quid at the fucking coke, pal.
18:12Do you know the expression, caught between a rock and a hard place?
18:16Oh!
18:16What's he going to say?
18:18What's he going to tell him?
18:19I saw Mr Todd.
18:25With drugs.
18:27Oh, you horrible little quizling.
18:30All because Mr Todd's up for getting an award and he wants to be top dog round here.
18:34He's taking Mr Todd down.
18:36Do you know what?
18:37Will you please just forget I said anything?
18:39Forget I said anything?
18:41How can you forget that?
18:42Look, I'll tell you what.
18:44I'll keep your name out of it.
18:45Cheers, pal.
18:46You're a good one.
18:48Oh, keep your name out of it.
18:50Oh, that's what he wants.
18:51That's exactly what he's after.
18:53He played right into his hands.
18:54He did, didn't he?
18:55Mark, if you'd like to take a seat, please.
18:57I wanted to see you, actually.
18:59Is she going to speak to him about the drugs before he has the chance to tell her?
19:03Yes.
19:04Mark, we've had a report that you've got drugs on you.
19:07He does have drugs on him.
19:08They're in his pocket, miss.
19:10Yeah, they are.
19:11That's why I came to see you.
19:12I found something outside the loo's at lunch.
19:16Oh, he's fucked.
19:17Oh, my God.
19:17Now he looks like he's lying.
19:19Hang on.
19:21You don't honestly think that that is mine?
19:23Oh, he's never going to get teacher of the year now.
19:25He's someone going to score me off the premises?
19:27Given the severity of the accusation, we have no option but to call the police.
19:31The police?
19:31Oh, he's getting fucking nicked as well.
19:34He was class I.
19:36Poor bloke.
19:38Oh, he's horrendous, Jane.
19:39Do you know what?
19:41John plays a very convincing knobhead, doesn't he?
19:44It's a dark horse.
19:45He's John Richardson.
19:46He's a man of many talents.
19:50In Kent...
19:51Who do you reckon is going to be the better driver out of you two?
19:53Oh, wow.
19:54Oh, hands up.
19:55Harry's.
19:55Oh, me, absolutely.
19:57Michael, Sally, and their sons Jake and Harry.
20:00Why is it going to be you?
20:01Because I'm older, I'm more mature.
20:03My brain, my frontal lobe is fully developed.
20:06See, I'm going to prove to you right now why I'm a better driver than Harry.
20:10Harry, which one's left and right?
20:13That way.
20:14Which one's left or right?
20:15You can't just point that way.
20:17This week, our favorite wildlife filmmaker was all at sea on Disney+.
20:22Darling, dolphins up close.
20:24Are you sure you want to watch that?
20:26I am.
20:26Well...
20:27Not sure that's the best idea with your past experience with dolphins.
20:31I honestly think I must be the only person in the world that can comfortably say,
20:35not comfortably actually, but can truthfully say,
20:39I was sexually assaulted by a dolphin.
20:41Or a dolphin tried to sexually assault me is probably the correct time.
20:47Have you ever wanted to swim with dolphins?
20:50No, I can't swim.
20:51I don't like getting my hair wet.
20:53I'm sure last time we watched Bertie Gregory, you said you fancied him.
20:56Well, has he got a pulse?
20:58Yeah.
20:59Can't I do?
20:59Look, this is the place you wanted to go to, the Azores.
21:09Yes.
21:09It looks awful as a holiday destination.
21:13Over the last ten years, I've become completely obsessed
21:16with searching the ocean for epic gatherings of predators.
21:19There is no way you would catch me anywhere near an epic gathering of predators.
21:24No.
21:24In wildlife film, we call these a bait ball,
21:26and they attract a group of predators that you've never otherwise seen together.
21:30A bait ball?
21:31So what's in the bait ball, I wonder?
21:32I know what a bait ball is.
21:34What?
21:34It's where they school all them fish together, isn't it?
21:37This could be the most diverse gathering of predators I've ever filmed.
21:42Well, I think we might learn something here, Rosie.
21:45Well, I think we might, yes.
21:47Because usually we avoid animals like the plague.
21:50It's a bumpy two-hour journey to the remote sea mountain.
21:53Good God.
21:54Two hours of...
21:55This is more like it.
22:02Here we go.
22:03Oh, look.
22:04So we're seeing some activity, some wildlife.
22:11Dolphins arrived.
22:12Wow.
22:12Oh, look at them all.
22:14My goodness.
22:14Oh, wow, that's amazing.
22:16That would be lovely to see, but we wouldn't want to be on the water doing that well.
22:19The spotted and common dolphins try to herd the fish.
22:24Look at the beautiful markings on them.
22:27I'm triggered.
22:29Circling the school, the predators tighten their grip.
22:32There's the ball.
22:33It's literally a ball.
22:34It's literally a ball.
22:35Look at how they move.
22:37They're trying to get out of the way.
22:38But something has spooked the dolphins.
22:43Oh, shit, what happened?
22:44Oh, what's that?
22:44No.
22:45Oh, here we go.
22:46The apex predators come in.
22:49Blue sharks.
22:50Oh, my goodness.
22:52See, that is why you won't catch me in the sea.
22:55That shark has played an absolute blinder.
23:03Yeah, but he's just got 150 dolphins, 400 birds to do his work,
23:07and now he's just going to clean up that shelf.
23:10His cum, he's eaten all the food, and then he's buggered off.
23:13This is, you are the shark.
23:16But the feast isn't over.
23:19The dolphins are back for one final showdown.
23:22Oh, here we go.
23:23Oh, they've come back.
23:24Come on, dolphins.
23:25You can do it.
23:26Get your ball back.
23:28The bait ball is tossed upwards.
23:32Does that mean the birds can eat it?
23:33Yeah, nowhere to go.
23:36Down come the shearwaters.
23:38Oh, look at that lot.
23:40This is insane.
23:43Diving to more than 50 feet.
23:47What the frigging hell?
23:49This doesn't look real.
23:50I don't think it is.
23:53And it's not over yet.
23:54What else can happen?
23:58Who's this now?
23:59The commotion draws the attention of a minky whale.
24:02Oh, a minky whale.
24:06A minky whale.
24:11Oh!
24:12Straight through the middle.
24:16He ate lots there, him.
24:18You greedy bastard.
24:19It's a tough day to be a fish.
24:22Yeah.
24:23I am not trying to get in the ocean and swim with no dolphins.
24:27Why?
24:27It looks too scary.
24:29But you've got all them bikinis, man, that you're taking to St Vincent with you.
24:33They ain't for the dolphins, Mum.
24:34Who they're for?
24:38Glenda in!
24:38In Leeds...
24:49I was fuming when I got here and Toby were parked in my car parking spot.
24:53Well, I did say to him, you know, Ellie's going to be madly inconvenienced
24:57and she's going to have to walk five more steps to get to my front door
24:59and she ain't going to be happy about it.
25:00Yeah?
25:01And he went, well, I don't care.
25:04Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
25:06Do you know what?
25:06I said, I actually did confront him about it
25:09and then he did offer to move his car and put my car there.
25:12But I said, no, no point now.
25:14Damage is done.
25:15Damage is done, yeah.
25:16But I thought, do you know what?
25:18Nat would never do that.
25:21He just wouldn't do it, would he?
25:24And I thought, do you know what Toby is?
25:27Selfish.
25:27I knew you were going to say that.
25:29On Saturday night, a couple of familiar faces were back together again on ITV1.
25:34We cop had this time.
25:36Oh, lovely.
25:37Thank you so much.
25:38I feel terrible.
25:39I'm just sitting down here.
25:41Do you want some of this?
25:42Oh, yeah, please.
25:43What are you looking at?
25:44The sides of it?
25:44That one.
25:45Ah!
25:45This is win-win.
25:52No, this is, don't you?
25:53No, what is it?
25:54New Melon Soup.
25:55Oh!
25:57The bat.
25:57Oh, they mean business.
26:03The power walking.
26:05I tell you what, I bet these two are glad they've been chucked to bone.
26:08Yeah.
26:09You've not seen them really together since Bake Off.
26:11Yeah, quite sad actually.
26:13It's more like a reunion, this really, isn't it?
26:14It is, yeah.
26:16In the programme, Mel and Sue were looking for answers based on what a survey had said.
26:21Question three is upon us.
26:22Here it is.
26:23Okay.
26:23Okay.
26:25Which of these unhygienic things have the most number of Brits done?
26:30Oh, no.
26:32Oh, no.
26:33This is going to be totally triggering for me.
26:34I can't cope.
26:36Not brush their teeth for a day.
26:38How could you not brush your teeth for the day?
26:41Well, I'm...
26:42No.
26:44Because I have to put mine in.
26:49Peed in the shower.
26:51Popped someone else's spots.
26:53Oh, no.
26:54Done all of them.
26:57The answer is...
26:59Peed in the shower.
27:02You do it as well, Barton.
27:03I've never done it.
27:04Barton does it in the bath.
27:08According to our survey, what's the most common tattoo design among Brits?
27:13A sheep.
27:15I don't think so.
27:16It's either tribal bar wire, sweetie pie, or a dolphin above the navel.
27:21Yeah.
27:22Butterfly?
27:22Dragon.
27:23Loved one's name.
27:25I've got a butterfly.
27:26You know, I've just got my brothers and sisters' names there.
27:29Butterfly.
27:29Butterfly.
27:30Apparently all girls have got one at the top of their back bottoms.
27:34All girls of a certain age.
27:36Really?
27:37Yeah.
27:38The answer is...
27:40Butterfly.
27:42A butterfly?
27:43Butterfly.
27:43Oh, my God.
27:44What's wrong with people?
27:46I'm common.
27:47Boring.
27:47No shock there.
27:48No shit.
27:49Yeah?
27:49No shock there.
27:50Two best studio players will now face one final question to win that cash card.
27:56And that, to remind everybody, is loaded with 25,000 smackaroos.
28:00Oh, I could just do with that right now.
28:02You see, this is wrong, because it's making Britons think that if you go on a game show, you'll win money, rather than working for it.
28:10So, we ask the nation, which physical attribute do you find most attractive in other people?
28:16Great game, this, isn't it?
28:18Elbows.
28:19100%.
28:20Personality.
28:20Oh, physical.
28:21Good bomb.
28:22Clean fingernail.
28:23Nice skin.
28:23Height.
28:24Good posture.
28:25Not asked about hair or eyes.
28:28They don't need any of them.
28:30Legs.
28:31You're just saying yours.
28:32Yeah.
28:34Based on a survey.
28:36What first attracted you to Percy, Sarah?
28:38Beautifully shaped hands.
28:40James, you did best in that round, so you're going to go first.
28:44What are you thinking?
28:45I'll go for smile.
28:46Teeth.
28:46Hair.
28:50Smile.
28:51Right.
28:53Smile.
28:54Graham, what are you going to go with?
28:55I always used to look at bums.
28:59I'd probably say good teeth.
29:02Yeah, he's got good teeth.
29:03He's got good teeth.
29:04They're talking about themselves.
29:05They're talking about excelling themselves.
29:08Is James' smile going to be higher or lower than Graham's teeth?
29:12Do you think it's higher?
29:13Just have a look.
29:14Smile and good teeth are the same thing.
29:16They are not the same thing.
29:17Oh, smile number one.
29:25Oh, smile number one.
29:25And he's smiling now, isn't he, James?
29:28He's smiling like this.
29:33Well done, James.
29:34Do you know what?
29:34That's what it's all about for me.
29:37Seeing somebody who's gone on there, had a go and they've won a nice couple of quid.
29:40Exactly.
29:41Nothing too taxing, neither.
29:42Yeah.
29:43Warms the cockles of my heart.
29:45Yeah.
29:46Lovely.
29:47And it's nice to see Mel and Sue, you know, are back at the trough.
29:51Yeah.
29:54In Caffilly.
29:55You've bought a quiche, haven't you?
29:57What's in there?
29:58Amok.
29:59Is it Amok, is it?
30:00Yeah.
30:01You had that on the plane.
30:03Oh, do you love that?
30:04Yeah.
30:04But you had bechamel sauce and all.
30:06I took that off with the paper.
30:08Dave and his wife, Shirley.
30:09It didn't say bechamel sauce.
30:12It said mature cheddar in with the hock and then on top, more cheddar.
30:19I read it.
30:20I think, Julie, if you read it in the in-flight, Cathy, it said a mature cheddar with ham hock and bechamel sauce.
30:32No, it didn't.
30:33On Friday night, there was exciting news for wannabe spooks on ITV.
30:38Oh, you said stop you, Sean.
30:41You're on a diet.
30:42Don't do it.
30:43Back away from the doughnut, Sean.
30:44Are there any biscuits to go with that plate?
30:50Hey, love.
30:51What's that for?
30:52Oh, you'll be going home soon.
30:53Or now.
30:54I'm not going home yet.
30:56I want to watch the news.
30:58Bloody shift.
30:59Oh, do you know what?
31:01You don't have to make me feel welcome, you.
31:03Where's my coat?
31:04You'll be giving me that next.
31:05Oh, no, don't bother.
31:06I'm not going.
31:08It was good and bad news today for anyone hoping to become an MI6 spy.
31:13Oh, haven't they found your CV yet?
31:14No, they haven't found me application.
31:16I put it in.
31:17I put it in yesterday.
31:19On the one hand, the agency's opened up a new recruitment site for applications.
31:24Oh, you're going to play.
31:26Would you fancy that?
31:27Yes.
31:28On the other, it can only be found on the dark web.
31:31Oh, what's that?
31:32So can you not find it on LinkedIn?
31:34No.
31:35Notorious as a hive of insidious and incriminating websites.
31:38I thought the dark web was for buying guns and things like that.
31:42It's the first test of MI6.
31:44Ah.
31:44Find us on the dark web.
31:46That's really clever.
31:47I bet you could get on the dark web using your new VPN that you got to watch telly abroad.
31:52I don't know how to get on.
31:56I use it for legitimate reasons.
31:59Of course, it's really aimed at aspiring agents in hostile states like Russia and North Korea to get in touch.
32:06So they're trying to get spies from different countries to tell us their secrets, but I'm not being funny.
32:12Why are they going to want to tell us?
32:13End up putting them in mortal danger.
32:16It could be.
32:17But if you get paid enough, who cares?
32:19MI6's latest recruitment drive is via a dedicated portal on the dark web.
32:25I might go on the dark web.
32:28Tonight.
32:30Where is the dark web anyway?
32:32Have I got it on my computer?
32:34I don't know.
32:34I don't know.
32:35I've not done it.
32:36Our appeal today is not to Russians alone.
32:39Anyone, anywhere in the world with access to sensitive information.
32:43Oh, yeah.
32:44I can really see the Taliban logging in from the hills above Afghanistan going, I'll sign up for the MI6 website.
32:52Relating to terrorism or hostile intelligence activity can use the new portal to contact MI6.
32:59So this is like snitch book.
33:01So basically, it's a website where you can go and snitch on your country and not be traced.
33:07Surely they could just do it on, not on dark web, they could do it on normally.
33:11We'll set up a Facebook group.
33:12Yeah.
33:13MI6 are now using social media platforms to also attract new recruits.
33:18What's the difference between MI5 and MI6?
33:21One.
33:23One number.
33:25What do you mean?
33:26Can you just like work in the canteen at MI6?
33:28Do you have to go through the dark web to get a job there as well?
33:31Maybe.
33:31Maybe.
33:31This bab tastes like Novichok.
33:46In home.
33:48Can you hear me breathing?
33:49I'm a bit chesty today.
33:50Do you know I sit a ring?
33:52Go to shop and get me some Maluga honey.
33:55I've got some lemon and a bottle of lemonade.
33:57Best friends Jenny and Lee.
33:59The phone rings.
34:01Jenny, what?
34:04I'm at the honey.
34:07How will I hear?
34:08I said, what do you mean how will I hear?
34:10He said, well, the Maluga honey is £14.95 and the next one down is £3.95.
34:15I'm just asking you how will I hear?
34:18What did you say?
34:19Not very well.
34:20I just went.
34:21£3.95.
34:22Just get the £3.95.
34:25£14 quid.
34:26I've never heard of what's it called.
34:27Yeah, Maluga.
34:28Where's it from?
34:30Tesco's.
34:31On Sunday night, we took to the skies for a nail-biting ride on that Gio.
34:38Finally, Julie, something from here now.
34:40Top Guns.
34:41Right down my street, this.
34:43I've been out in light aircraft getting flown around.
34:46It's the bollocks.
34:47You did one flying lesson.
34:49Exactly.
34:50I've got the taste for it.
34:54I'm looking forward to this, Jane.
34:56Top Guns, the next generation.
34:58I mean, you think you're bloody Tom Cruise, don't you, really?
35:01You're as short as him.
35:02I'm taller than him.
35:04That's where the resemblance finishes, really.
35:06It's at least an inch and a half between me and him.
35:09My name is Austin Claggett.
35:13I'm the first lieutenant in the Marine Corps.
35:15Hi, Austin.
35:16He looks like an Austin, an all-American jock.
35:18Austin is a good name for a fighter pilot.
35:20I don't know about Claggett.
35:22Yeah.
35:23My family definitely knows me as Crazy Austin.
35:27Crazy Austin?
35:28Bloody hell.
35:29Not Crazy Claggett, then.
35:30That'd be better.
35:31Crazy Claggett's much better.
35:33I'll just do the things that no-one else would dare do.
35:37I mean, you pretty much have to be a bit of a nutter,
35:40don't you, to do this?
35:40Yeah.
35:41I think Austin is confident enough to get his wings, you know?
35:45He can talk the talk,
35:46but we've got to see whether he can walk the walk.
35:52Oh, going straight into bombing?
35:55Jesus.
35:55This is where they've got to go in close to the target,
35:58release the bomb, then pull out to the dive or whatever.
36:01This takes a bit of balls, this too.
36:03You need him.
36:03For this dry run, it's all about staying calm and in control.
36:07Well, I couldn't do that, could you?
36:09Could you stay calm and be in control?
36:11Well, I won't be in control, that's for certain.
36:12I'm nervous now, and I'm just on the couch.
36:14Last to perform the manoeuvre is Austin.
36:17Come on, Austin.
36:18You've got this, Austin.
36:20Isn't that what people say now, Mary?
36:22Yes.
36:25Yuriko's.
36:26Oh, my stomach's going, lad.
36:31He's going in now.
36:32Fucking hell, it's a bit lively, this, isn't he, fella?
36:37He's breathing hard, isn't he?
36:39Oh, my God.
36:40That would be actually quite terrifying.
36:41That was the first time that I've been scared.
36:47Oh, he's having a little wobbly,
36:49because he's heading towards the ground at a meteoric rate.
36:53He's thinking, fuck.
36:55Quite the sobering experience that I imagine.
36:59Hard pull!
37:00Hard pull!
37:01You've got to pull up now, Austin.
37:02No, you've got to pull up now, Austin.
37:04Come on, Austin, you need to pull up.
37:05Oh, my days, this is nuts.
37:09Can you imagine going down that quick?
37:11Yeah.
37:11And then, whew!
37:13A bit like the big dipper at Blackpool, isn't it, really?
37:15No.
37:16Well, a bit like it.
37:17No.
37:18After the dry run, Austin had to do the manoeuvre again
37:22whilst dropping a bomb on a target.
37:25They need to release their bombs precisely at the right moment.
37:29See, how do you know when the right moment is?
37:31They need to pull up sharply
37:32before they reach the altitude limit of 3,000 feet.
37:35Ah!
37:36Because they can't go any lower than that.
37:37That's correct, yeah.
37:38That's the hard deck.
37:40Yeah, the point of no return.
37:43Here we go.
37:46God, this is the real thing now, Lee, isn't it?
37:48Hold your nerve now, son.
37:49Come on, Bert.
37:50He's coming down.
37:54You're going too low!
37:56Up, up, up!
37:59Well, he's at the target.
38:01He's off.
38:02But he's broken the deck.
38:04Out of the chute.
38:06No, did he fuck it?
38:07It went under the 3,000.
38:08No, Austin!
38:10We go low again.
38:12We're going home.
38:14He's going home.
38:14He's got one more chance, Lee.
38:16One more chance.
38:17He must be really twitchy now, don't you think?
38:21He's coming in hot again.
38:24Five and a half thousand.
38:25Don't go too low.
38:27Go right now.
38:303,000.
38:313,000.
38:32Oh, he's near the mark.
38:33Oh, go on.
38:34You're nearly there.
38:34You're nearly there.
38:35Go for it.
38:36Now!
38:39Oh!
38:39He's done it again.
38:41No!
38:42Oh, he's...
38:43Oh, no.
38:44He's fucking gone low again.
38:5017 feet.
38:51Bullseye.
38:51He got a bullseye.
38:53Yeah, but a fucking low altitude.
38:55Oh, my God.
38:55That's so unfair.
38:56It's actually quite heartbreaking,
38:57cos he's done one perfectly,
38:59not the other.
38:59We're going home.
39:01Yes, sir.
39:06Austin's out.
39:07He's absolutely messed it up.
39:09Oh!
39:09Oh, Phil.
39:11I was like that three times
39:12for my driving lesson.
39:13That's the first time.
39:14Well, yeah, you shouldn't have done.
39:15Out of it, that'll tell you now.
39:16If that were me,
39:17I'd take failure.
39:18Really, really, personally.
39:20I'd have dealt with it horribly.
39:21And I'd have made a big scene.
39:23I'd have ruminated and talked about it
39:25for the next six months, every day.
39:27Six months?
39:28Six years?
39:29You'd be unbearable.
39:33In Leeds.
39:35Your eyebrows look really good.
39:36I know.
39:37My first ever tattoo,
39:38and it's my eyebrows.
39:39I want to touch it.
39:40You can.
39:40That's really good, isn't it?
39:43It adds character to your face.
39:44Best friends, Danielle and Daniella.
39:47What do you mean?
39:48I don't know.
39:48You look like...
39:50What, like a cartoon character?
39:51No.
39:51Oh.
39:52Like, you know...
39:53I don't know.
39:54Can you just say something nice, please?
39:56It's nice!
39:57When you say...
39:58When you give people compliments,
40:00you always tend to stutter
40:01because it's so unnatural for you
40:03that you're like...
40:05It looks nice!
40:07This week,
40:08our favourite bunch of bad spies
40:10were back on Apple TV+.
40:12Here we are, Julian.
40:13Some proper tell it.
40:14Who would have dreamt
40:15we'd be living long enough
40:17to see another episode?
40:19And dance with the beach balls again.
40:23I tell you who could have been in MI5.
40:26Who?
40:26Becky Potter and Sinead.
40:28Yeah!
40:29They were queen at FBI's, weren't they?
40:31Queen of the FBI's.
40:33FBI, yeah.
40:33Drive-by FBI social media stalk
40:36on your mam's Netflix.
40:37All they'd need is a first name.
40:39That'd be it.
40:40And a location.
40:41Oh, here we go.
40:45Shh!
40:45Shh!
40:46Jane, shush!
40:46I haven't said a word!
40:47It started.
40:51This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
40:52It does?
40:52Why is it dodgy?
40:56Hello?
40:56What did he get out of that van, then?
40:58Can I give you a poster for the window?
41:00Oh, the bank doesn't let us be political.
41:01Same sat down on that bench there, innit?
41:03Oh, he's got a bag.
41:04Morning.
41:06Hope Mayor Jaffrey can count on your vote.
41:08Oh, I have a feeling he's barking up the wrong tree here.
41:11Oh, lovey.
41:11Read the room.
41:12But Mayor Jaffrey offers hope, whereas...
41:15What's he getting out of his bag?
41:17Gimbal wants to make...
41:18Holy shit!
41:19Oh, fucking hell, that's a tool and a half.
41:21Shit, a brick, man.
41:24What are you...
41:24Get on the floor!
41:25Get on the floor!
41:27Oh!
41:28Oh, shit!
41:29What the hell are you doing?
41:30Oh, it's killing everybody.
41:36Can you imagine?
41:37No.
41:40Oh, I knew it!
41:41I knew he was going to get...
41:43I was going to say to you, I'd better get shot in a minute.
41:44What the fuck is happening?
41:47Sorry, did you see the blood coming out of his head?
41:51Oh, was he?
41:54Eh?
41:55That was the same van he got the gun out of!
41:57Somebody's definitely got him to do all that shooting
41:59and then killed him.
42:02How can it be permissible?
42:05Oh, Slow Horse's IT guy.
42:07What's his name?
42:08Roddy.
42:09Roddy.
42:11You look like a right knobhead going through town like that.
42:14You have lean cosmeto.
42:15No wonder you want the good as a spy.
42:20Oh, that was great.
42:23Bloody hell, you nearly got killed.
42:25I know.
42:25God, it's that van again.
42:28That's the van that we're doing in shootings.
42:30It is.
42:31What the fuck?
42:32Wait, surely she's a slow horse as well.
42:34Oh, so his team mate has just saved his life?
42:36Yeah, and I think thank you was the word that, you know,
42:38Roddy should be looking for.
42:39Witnesses describe the shooter as using a shotgun or a rifle.
42:43Oh, here he is.
42:44Like, eating in some greasy spoon watching the telly.
42:48Having a bit of breakfast.
42:49Well, why are you mistaking this from my office?
42:52Well, you're also not welcome.
42:54Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
42:56Oh, pleasant as ever, lamb.
42:57Someone nearly ran hoe over.
42:58Good for them.
42:59Fuck off.
43:00Oh, ha, ha.
43:01It was deliberate.
43:02They drove straight at him.
43:03So Shirley thinks that someone's trying to do a hit on Roddy.
43:06Where did it happen?
43:07Fan street.
43:08No cameras, suspicious in itself.
43:09It's what you call suss.
43:11White transit van heading east.
43:13Surely we should at least try and track it.
43:15See, Shirley's spider senses are tingling here.
43:18Yeah, and she's on the right lines.
43:20Yeah.
43:20Trust your gut.
43:22Are you going to take this seriously?
43:24I'm glad you asked me that.
43:25No, are you going to take this seriously?
43:27Fuck off.
43:28Oh, my God.
43:29There's lots of fucks in this, Lee, isn't there?
43:31He's wanting nothing serious.
43:32No, I know.
43:34A bit later, concerned for his safety,
43:36River and Shirley had followed Roddy to a nightclub.
43:42This is one of your scenes, Rosalyn, isn't it?
43:45He's very similar to somewhere I would go to, yes.
43:49They're not playing any pet shop boys, Tracer.
43:51No, I know.
43:52I wouldn't like to go in that night.
43:53No, Duran Duran.
43:58He's cutting some moves, or do you call it shapes?
44:02Shapes, darling, shapes.
44:08She's seen some at least.
44:09What's going on?
44:10What's going on?
44:10What's going on?
44:13What's she doing?
44:14Hang on a minute.
44:15Is that what?
44:17No!
44:18What the hell?
44:19What the fuck are you playing at?
44:22You two out.
44:23Oh, they're going to be getting asked to leave.
44:25They're having the shoulders fell.
44:29Don't lose them, Shirley.
44:33Bullseye.
44:33Roddy's gone off in his Prius.
44:35So, it's tonight the night.
44:41It's tonight the night.
44:42When to become one.
44:46All right, Spice Girls.
44:47Oh!
44:49Well, I'll have to remember that pick-up line.
44:51No, Sian, don't.
44:52It's a bit cringe.
44:53You know I really want to, huh?
44:54Hmm.
44:55But I have to be, I'm pretty early, and I want it to be special.
44:59Oh, Roddy.
45:00You've been strung along, buddy.
45:01She's not genuinely in this, is she?
45:04No.
45:07Oh, God, she's having you on.
45:09That's a good tactic if you don't want a snog.
45:11Just put all your fingers in the mouth.
45:18That's weird, wasn't it?
45:19Yeah.
45:21That was really weird.
45:22I think he's ugly.
45:25She don't like him at all, look.
45:28Oh, hang on, something's going on.
45:31Oh, he's heading into his flat.
45:35Oh!
45:39See what fuck's on this face?
45:41That's definitely a honey trap.
45:43She's double-crossed him.
45:45Oh!
45:46When was the last time you went to a nightclub?
45:49Er, Germany, 2023.
45:54Seriously?
45:55Yeah.
45:56Cologne.
45:58Oh, yeah, Jane.
45:59Oh, were you with the little people, though?
46:01Yes.
46:02And the German hardcore dancers.
46:07Right.
46:08So it's not really a nightclub nightclub, is it?
46:11It was a nightclub.
46:12We just happened to have taken over.
46:14It was a safe nightclub then.
46:17Hmm.
46:18Not with me on the dance floor.
46:20Oh, God.
46:20They have had an E4 skinful, and you can, too.
46:29Pucker up and stream Made in Chelsea any old time.
46:33And don't get FOMO.
46:34I already have.
46:35MAPS UK is back.
46:36Stream now.
46:37Remember, brand-new eps come Thursday to Sunday at 9 on E4.
46:42Mitchell and Webb aren't helping next.
46:44Comedy, and there are bound to be some wigs.
46:46E4s.
47:13E4s.
47:13.
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