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00:00We got the results are in
00:03Okay
00:05Wait, did I fail? Have you ever had sexual intercourse with Marciano? It says no
00:10True. Yeah
00:12Okay, good. Okay. Number two besides those two kisses. Have you ever had any sexual physical contact Marciano? No
00:20Inconclusive wait what but I already said I did not like what?
00:24I also be like your eyes is like being like oh, yeah, like we were touchy and so but like yeah
00:29That doesn't make sense because that contradicts you guys. I literally shot. I feel so much better about myself
00:39Regarding the situation involving Marciano have you lied about any of it? No
00:45Significant reaction failed
00:54Okay, regarding the situation involving Marciano have you told me lies about to me no
01:02Significant reaction negative what but like what would I have to lie about about to me like everything's stuff
01:08We've found out about did you ever tell to me she looked good in an outfit when she didn't
01:14I'm a very detail oriented person. So it does get a little confusing of why certain
01:20Questions are being failed usually means there's a lie being told Jordan just called me real quick
01:27So I'm gonna go out and call him back real fast, but I'll be back
01:32That's gonna be obviously probably an argument you think absolutely what they're separated
01:38So it's not like you can really have any say guys the you act like they're like divorce
01:46Hey, sorry, did you call yeah
01:48How'd it go?
01:50I'm good
01:51The results are good. We talked and like I got a lot more details about like the demi stuff and what she did and
01:58You know all of her involvement and then he
02:00Owned that he lied and that he he like apologized and said he was you know
02:04Just kind of caught up in all that and he shouldn't have done it
02:06But the main thing is that the sex stuff we both had the same answer and it was that we were telling the truth. So that's good. Yeah
02:12Are you doing okay?
02:15I mean i'm not obviously still
02:17I appreciate you like letting me do this. I mean not letting me like I appreciate you understanding
02:23But even if you're not happy with this that like I needed to
02:27Figure out everything and have answers, you know
02:30We actually are all at dinner right now because we had to wait to get the results
02:33It took like an hour and a half to get them you're at dinner with him right now
02:36Don't you think you should have told me you're going to dinner with him?
02:42I mean i'm my own person and we're separated but like the logic is here just feels like disrespect
02:48Just going off of our past to be honest. I was just like a little scared
02:57Jordan is not super happy about this which I get but it's hard because i'm not doing anything wrong
03:02I'm not trying to purposely hurt him all i'm trying to do is prove my innocence and jordan doesn't seem to understand that
03:08We're gonna have to have a conversation about all of this when I get home and it probably won't be pretty
03:13Feels like that i'm the only one fighting for this marriage
03:16You go do whatever you want have a good night
03:18Come ye saints and come ye sinners, alleluia
03:31I'm the one you've been dreaming of
03:35I've got everything you could ever want
03:39Try me in your sleep, I'll bring you to your knees, baby you're gonna believe
03:48You
04:18Sorry, my leg's so big, I couldn't move it.
04:25I'm like, you move her.
04:28Why did you bring us here tonight?
04:30Geez, well, straight to the point.
04:32Straight to the point.
04:33We're getting murdered.
04:35After seeing Marciano, I am very confused on why Jesse would go for someone that Demi
04:43has some sort of history with.
04:45I did think in my head that her and Jordan had this pretty good relationship for the
04:49most part, but I do think there's more to the story.
04:51I have been in this situation, and the more you share, the more we can help you.
04:55I can't help to wonder, like, how today went with Marciano.
04:59Are you sad?
05:00I can't tell because I feel like I haven't seen a lot of emotion.
05:03I'm wondering how you're feeling inside.
05:05I went through ups and downs emotionally, but I think since I processed that the last
05:08week and a half, this felt more just like closure.
05:11And also, I do have an issue with, like, being numb emotionally.
05:14Like, I mean, your family is being broken up, and there's a lot of joking and laughing.
05:19Do you think that's all?
05:19I think I am looking at it, but I'm really good at putting it back up.
05:23I feel like I kind of have heard, like, little glimpses of what's happened with you and Jordan,
05:31but it's never been, like, specific.
05:32Like, yeah, like, just, it's, like, so hard to talk about.
05:36I've been trying to protect Jordan because I do still love him and care about him.
05:40I also didn't want it to feel like I was putting any blame on Jordan because what I did was so horrible.
05:46But I think now it's just time for everyone to know the truth.
05:51There wasn't a single day, I'm pretty sure, for the last three years we didn't fight.
05:55So, like, it was a constant control.
05:57There were so many things I wasn't allowed to do, and if I did, it would be a fight.
06:00I didn't do anything right.
06:02Parenting, laundry, housework.
06:03Which is crazy because I'm like, you were the only one doing it.
06:05So, like, he had anything to say.
06:06There was, like, a lot of resentment, and, like, I'm the main breadwinner, and he wasn't doing anything to help.
06:11And so name-calling, talking down to me, yelling.
06:17Contempt.
06:18Because I know I wasn't treated well, and I don't want my kids to think that's okay.
06:21And they did see some things, you know?
06:26I think I'm so torn right now because I'm so 50-50.
06:29The limbo is excruciating.
06:30Yeah, it's like, I don't know what the right choice is.
06:32Like, what if I regret it?
06:34If I stay, what if I regret it if I leave?
06:36Like, I don't know.
06:38That's the hardest.
06:41I definitely think it's possible that Jesse and Jordan's relationship has struggled
06:44because maybe they don't live by the normal, traditional way of living within the Mormon culture.
06:52I know that during my own divorce, it's really hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the midst of it.
06:58So I hope that we can kind of give Jesse a glimpse into what could be and that it really could serve her and help her thrive.
07:06We're doing two nights on, two nights off, and it's actually harder for me to be at home right now
07:12because when I'm home doing the nighttime routine without Jordan, that's when I'm like, oh, this could be my life.
07:17Like, it hits me.
07:19And actually, the other night, I couldn't even stop crying.
07:21And Jagger came in.
07:22He was like, what's wrong?
07:23And I was like, oh, my tummy hurts me.
07:24And he came up and hugged me.
07:26And I literally couldn't stop.
07:27And then I felt so guilty because, like, it's in front of him.
07:30Like, I see me and you.
07:32That's exactly how I think I reacted.
07:33I was, like, joking and, like, doing anything but to look at what is going on.
07:38And so I, like, really feel free.
07:39I'm not even kidding.
07:41Either way, what you decide, I obviously wish the best regardless of what you choose.
07:47Do you think those things change?
07:49Like, do you think people, when they call names like that, like, just that kind of behavior, do you think it will actually change?
07:54I didn't know that any of this was going on, to be honest.
07:58I think also coming from my past of being in a previously abusive relationship, it scares me.
08:03I do think that there's certain times where Jesse could have handled things better.
08:07But, of course, we're always going to have Jesse's back because she's our friend.
08:10We don't have any loyalty to Jordan.
08:12However, he does have dad talk there to support him.
08:15I genuinely feel different every day.
08:17Like, I wake up one day and I'm like, okay, I feel free.
08:19I can breathe.
08:20But then, like, it hits me, like, I'll never have, like, a family vacation with my kids and the two parents again.
08:25Or, like, our parents are best friends and I'm throwing that away.
08:28I feel like a failure, too.
08:29It's like, I thought this was it.
08:31It's not.
08:32You didn't know this was going to happen when you married Jordan.
08:36I just don't want to go through it.
08:38It's like literally 50, 50.
08:43I don't know what to do.
08:46Well, you don't need to know what to do yet.
08:47How do you know you're making the right choice?
08:52I think you'll feel it.
08:53You're just like, there's so much pain coming.
08:57I just feel for you.
08:59I'm like...
09:01Jesse does remind me a lot of myself.
09:09We're raised in this LDS culture of shame on you.
09:12But I don't think we deserve to be punished and condemned forever for our mistakes.
09:17And so I feel nothing but empathy for her.
09:20And I want to be there for her.
09:22Well, good night, everybody.
09:24Good night, guys.
09:25Good night.
09:26Good night.
09:27Sleep good.
09:28Love you guys.
09:29Don't let the bread bugs bite.
09:30Or Dakota.
09:31Good night.
09:32Bye.
09:32Bye.
09:32Bye.
09:32Bye.
09:32Bye.
09:32Bye.
09:32Bye.
09:32Bye.
09:33Bye.
09:33Bye.
09:33Bye.
09:33Bye.
09:33Bye.
09:33Bye.
09:33Bye.
09:33Bye.
09:34Bye.
09:34Bye.
09:35Bye.
09:35Bye.
09:35Bye.
09:35Bye.
09:35Bye.
09:36Bye.
09:37Bye.
09:42Bye.
09:49Bye.
09:49Bye.
09:49Bye.
09:50Thank you so much.
09:51Thank you so much.
09:53Thank you so much.
09:56The biscuits are next level.
09:57They are amazing.
09:58How are you feeling, Jessie?
09:59I was going to say, how's Jessie?
10:00You feel like release?
10:01Did you sleep good?
10:02You feel good?
10:03I feel like looking back at yesterday, I wish I would have been a little meaner to Marciano,
10:07but then I also feel like I had to get info.
10:09So, like, why do you wish you were more mean?
10:10Just because of what he did to me.
10:12but he was so nice and open and honest that like if i was just attacking him he probably wouldn't
10:17have been he wouldn't have been what what am i gonna do you know but anyway um yesterday i was
10:22talking to jordan and he said he met up with zach and he told him about the affair but it makes me
10:27wonder if jen's like if they're moving back is she coming back in and did he tell her and how
10:31does she for sure told her but i do think she is what she is wanting to come back to mom john
10:37she's been gone for so long and like the mental health like yes of course she can come back but
10:41there is a lot of conversation she has especially when she does come back i'm seeing jen at the m
10:46code beauty event coming up i have not seen jen in a while and i know we have some big things to
10:51talk about so i'm a little nervous because i was really frustrated about the lies we were being
10:56told by jen you continue to like bash me in my relationship the things i want to talk about yes
11:01it makes me question your character okay because i'm character is something we definitely need to
11:07talk about because you're a liar here i didn't know at the time what jen was going through i had no
11:11idea the extent of her mental health struggles and i wish that i would have been more of a friend in
11:16that moment so i'm anticipating a little bit of a fight and it makes me anxious should we get on
11:22the road yeah let's go let's go home they need to finish packing
11:25okay you can choose i'm gonna go just because i want
11:28hi baby he's a good boy hey he's a good boy how was the drive
11:53it was good it was long but nice it wasn't that bad actually i mean when you're with friends it's
12:00like you're all talking and stuff so can you go sit in the mirror sure it was hard enough to have
12:07her wanting to do the lie detector but i understood it because she wanted to clear her name but the fact
12:12that jesse invited marciano to dinner is complete disrespect to me and her family it shows the boundaries
12:19that she's willing to cross and has crossed and has led us to the position that we're in now
12:25i think that i'm having a really hard time because i feel as though you made this plan
12:32to speak with marciano without communicating with me and what what do you mean inviting him to dinner
12:39you guys are just going to go shoot the shit at a restaurant after it's it's fucked up and i don't
12:42know if it was you that invited him or i know that it was some one of the girls i mean i invited him
12:47but we had to because he had to be there for the results yeah he can he can sit his ass at the
12:50fucking hotel well i'm sorry i'm not as angry at him as you are and understandably so what do you
12:55mean you should be angry he just threw you out your i know our kids are going to grow up with their mom
13:00being a cheater in life to the entire world because he had to go and make those accusations
13:04that's bullshit it's not okay it's fucked up and it's completely not okay
13:11i'm just saying no you need to take accountability like this is this is the issue right here like it's
13:16completely disrespectful and fucked up to our kids to me to my family
13:21you're not going to go to dinner with a guy that you had an affair with it was inappropriate
13:29yeah i was it was inappropriate listen listen i'm not as mad at him as you are and that's
13:34it's not about that you know who might be mad at him our son one day when he figures out what all
13:39what all you did he might be mad at him i'm gonna be honest with our kid you're gonna be honest with
13:43him that you disrespected their dad and you decided to go to dinner with the guy you had
13:47an affair with it's because you're mistakes i don't think that was a mistake it was a mistake
13:50then then you need help because that is 100 something that is disgusting
13:55i just feel like um even though you have valid points like when you talk to me like this it
14:04just is like how yeah it's how it used to be right yeah
14:09this is what jordan does when he gets upset he'll like attack my character he'll call me names
14:18i feel deflated beat down tired sad hopeless like i just feel worthless you also need to understand
14:29this is completely justified it is i think it would have been more productive if we could
14:34have had a conversation and like you ask me questions and i explain and yeah i i don't think
14:40there's anything more for us to discuss right now this is exactly why i've treated you the way that
14:44i've treated you is the lack of accountability that you've had i don't know how to move forward
14:51from this if there's not going to be accountability
14:53it's pretty frustrating to be doing everything in my power to save this marriage when jesse is not
15:01the foundation for any good marriage is trust but i just don't see how we're going to be able to move
15:06forward without having that foundation rebuilt if it's even possible sorry
15:12i didn't handle it the way you probably would have i really hope that for the sake of our kids that
15:20we can really like put this to bed now and there's no reason to ever communicate with him for any
15:27reason moving forward i don't even know how to react i feel like i don't even know what to do what
15:35to say but i can't promise i won't talk to him ever again
15:50should we go get a coffee or a chai or yeah let's go get a matcha
16:10tonight me taylor and jen have our launch event for our emco beauty campaign that we were working on
16:18but mom talks had some drama recently and i've been experiencing some personal things so i wanted
16:22to meet up with miranda and bria beforehand i feel like i need an update have you been going out with
16:28anyone recently i honestly i haven't been going on many dates are you kidding really okay no i feel
16:35like my confidence has been kind of low recently like my hair recently has been killing me yeah
16:44confidence wise thank you so much guys this is the regular one right thank you
16:48no but like can you kind of see like right here but like oh i'm starting to like have like the spots
16:53that like are oh yeah yeah balding like there's no hair there me and most of the girls in montauk go to
16:59jesse to get her hair done but i take showers and i'm noticing clumps and clumps of hair falling out
17:05and the weight of the hair extensions it's ripping out that hair as well but i don't have an option to
17:10not wear hair extensions it's that or i would start wearing like wigs because it's that bad
17:14when it comes down to it i love jesse but the fact that my hair loss is only really happening where
17:20the extensions are sewn in yeah i think that they're ripping out my hair you have a different texture
17:24hair than the thousands of girls that she works with she's probably not as well versed yeah with
17:30your hair texture miranda and brie are definitely right i think i need to find a hairstylist that's
17:36better suited to my ethnic hair but jesse has so much on her plate right now with everything
17:41happening with jordan i just don't want to add one more thing especially after what happened with
17:45demi what do you think is fake about me she doesn't think you're good at hair and she told me not to
17:50go to you huh i feel like i need to like stop fighting it and just embrace it and go to somebody
17:57that knows how to do my hair do you think you'll talk to her before you go or just like switch to
18:02i'm dying i'm excited to see jen tonight this has been a really long time coming
18:29for the girls to kind of reunite this is such a cool opportunity to be one of the faces on this
18:34emco beauty campaign this just goes to show how successful mom talk is becoming moments like
18:39this definitely make all of our sacrifice and our hard work worth it you guys i was um in the car i
18:44was like looking for my lip gloss and i opened this and look what i found it's a condom
18:48with all the sex i'm having lately yeah i bet i've just been decompressing so i am excited to be at
19:01the event tonight because having girl time takes my mind off of things but i know jen and i have a
19:06lot to talk about tonight so i'm nervous to see how this goes
19:10it's a big night for mom talk it's crazy that we're on this campaign we're gonna be all over for
19:17it billboards stores it's gonna be really cool but also we're welcoming jen back into mom talk and i
19:24know she has that fear of people probably attacking her or her marriage but i will 100% have her back
19:30because i want her to feel safe you look great no thanks your boobs are not dressed they look nice
19:35look you can tell that they're real what i put yeah they're nice and cool for now they're real
19:40they got so big how do you feel about jen being back i haven't really touched her have you touched her
19:44oh my goodness i'm like she's moving right now i'm like chill
19:57no she's literally like right now i'm like oh hi how are you guys
20:04hello i'm definitely feeling hesitant about reuniting with mom talk aside from taylor i
20:14haven't really talked to the other girls and to be honest coming back i just want to feel understood
20:21hello how are you doing is this amazing i know i'm so happy to be here it's too bad it's snowing
20:31yeah in april i'm sorry i'm going back i'm going back to arizona
20:34can you wait so are you guys here for a while or like yes so i think we're gonna have the baby
20:39here oh no really yeah so we can get some extra help we have so much coming up too yeah it's gonna
20:46be i'm ready to like not just do therapy every day i'm definitely excited to see the girls again
20:52but i'm still kind of scarred from everything that happened with demie and jesse
20:58i feel like jesse spent so much time calling me a liar yet here you were lying the whole time
21:09about marciano i have a lot of questions and hopefully she can give me an apology
21:14we haven't talked yeah in a minute and i know the last time we talked was kind of weird
21:33for your husband to rub his little dick on me he didn't rub his dick on you i look back at that
21:39and i'm like so embarrassed yeah did some crazy stuff yeah that's okay well first off i'll start
21:45by saying that i apologize for how i treated you in vegas last year because looking back that was
21:49100 projection on what i was going through in my marriage and i saw zach doing it to you and i was
21:54like triggered because it happened to me jordan was doing that yes jordan's been like emotionally
22:00abusive for a lot of my marriage and it got to the point where i just was broken and i did what i did
22:06because of that and it's not okay and i've taken full accountability i will never condone what i did
22:11um but i do feel like it was a cry for help at the time of like just not knowing how to handle what i
22:16was in and it was like a way to get out like subconsciously but um it's been hard even though
22:22i'm frustrated about the past seeing how her she is has made me feel a lot less defensive all i can
22:30feel as empathy for her and just wanting to be there for her like we used to do for each other
22:36in the past i think the thing that's hurting me the most is chippendale's party it almost felt like
22:42why is everyone trying to break my marriage so we just thought it was kind of like a funny little
22:47thing because you guys said you were doing so much better i guess what made me confused was i
22:51started to question specifically demi going so hard at me and to get the whole group to go against me
22:59yeah did it have more to do with what she was hiding that's exactly what she was doing because
23:04she's doing it to me now so i met with marciano he said that she did kiss him in italy behind the
23:09scenes i literally called it yeah in the villa to me was flirtatious with marciano i mean she was
23:17literally right next to him like grabbing his hands like googly eyes bringing this energy of
23:24mormons gone wild it made me uncomfortable she knew that this could be brought up so what did she do
23:31she bullied me and she got the whole group to turn against me and then she did it to taylor
23:36and now she's doing it to jesse what happened last year is like frustrating but i'm not gonna do
23:42what i feel like the rest of the group did to me when i was going through and if that means you're
23:46walking away from jordan then like we fully supported you thank you absolutely i i wish i
23:51would have done the same for you i'm relieved now that jesse and i are in a better place
23:57hopefully we can move forward with a more authentic real friendship well i love you thank you so much
24:04for everything i'm both going through it should i go find the girls yes i think they went out there
24:09i saw them walk out there
24:10what do you guys think they're talking about at dad talk tonight because i don't even know what
24:18they're doing but i know they're all together i think jordan's upset because marciano came to
24:23dinner with us right i'm sure that dakota's validating jordan and jace and jacob are probably
24:28being quiet but jordan and dakota are just sucking each other's dicks
24:31what's up what's up zach what's up boys i'm just glad you're not in a white shirt
24:52i know oh that's cute that means you call me in dakota lovers but look at these two
24:57we're in the garments that means that that means zach's a sinner too i wanted to invite the guys over
25:02to have a meeting because it makes me feel crazy that there was so much defensiveness on jesse's end
25:08and zach and jen have been through the ringer so it's been really nice to have someone else in the
25:14group that's kind of gone through it and have his his support i don't know if you guys know but
25:19when the girls went down to saint george they decided it'd be a good idea to meet up with
25:25marciano and make him take a lie detector test to prove jesse's somewhat of innocence and what
25:34really pissed me off about it was the fact that when they were waiting for the results for the
25:39lie detector jesse invited him come to dinner
25:41i don't think that any of them including jesse did it to be disrespectful but it's the lack
25:49of like thinking about anyone but themselves yeah like what that dude's caused like i got
25:53fucked over here okay what are like the other girls saying to jesse like what are your wives
25:58saying like are they telling her like hey this is kind of messed up like maybe you shouldn't do this
26:02are they like pushing for her to do that i think that macy only has the lens of what jesse's saying
26:07it's not like she's trying to feed anything or like say it's like jesse's gonna make her
26:10decisions that's bullshit bro because when jen wanted to fight for our marriage all the girls
26:15shit it on me and didn't give her what she wanted in any way shape or form you guys don't tell your
26:19wives what to do right because they're their own people but i just would hope you know especially
26:24with kids involved that the best case scenario is to hey you guys should try to make it work
26:28i'm trying to think right now about just the the way for the girls to have a conversation with you
26:34if you do want to be vulnerable it should be the girls and all the husbands i don't think it's fair
26:39like if you put jordan and six of these strong personalities in a room that's not really a fair
26:45like i think we need to all come together yeah i think you're right i think we do need to meet up
26:49with mom talk and dad talk to address everyone at the same time it's sad to say i don't feel like mom
26:55talk supports a lot of the relationships i'm all for women empowerment i just think it's sad that
27:00all these women have families and that's not the number one thing that they're pushing to fight for
27:05and i think mom talk could learn a lot from dad talk honestly there's a lot of hurt there's a lot
27:09of harm that's been done on both sides and i ultimately just would like the chance to be
27:14supported that's it
27:15hey john can we chat what did you say you wanted to have a space right between the boulders and the
27:38yeah the boulder wall is pretty but i just think you know maybe we don't want the whole thing to be
27:41boulder be nice to break it up with some green yeah that's totally doable so we've been playing
27:45and doing some landscaping in our backyard for a while now our family is growing and i always
27:50envision having a backyard where our kids can just run outside and play so i'm really excited
27:54like we're seeing the vision now these like levels it's crazy what you can do with them
27:59well i'll leave you guys to it thank you thank you so much you're welcome knuckles too um so how was dad
28:06talk last night jordan's like wrecked right now he was just kind of upset about just everything that
28:10was going on well what was he saying i feel like you never tell me when he calls or tell me what he's
28:15saying actually go look you're so secretive he doesn't understand and he's hurt why marciana
28:23was around past getting information and then kicking him to the curb because he's already
28:29broken up or got involved with two relationships out of all the girls talk so why would you guys
28:35go hang out with him afterwards what are you what are you trying to say that like anyway he shouldn't
28:39have come to dinner or something yeah just like the way that you guys like went about just having
28:44him around and then also saying you guys as like i was like yes he's allowed to go if they would have
28:49asked if they would have asked no i would have said let's not have him come exactly why why didn't
28:55you just like stop her but i wasn't gonna be like with him there being like jesse do you think that's
28:59a good idea i'm not her really society president i'm not gonna be like jesse do you think this is a
29:03smart decision i just feel like you are the you're the glue to the friendship and you are like the
29:08conscious like you are the foundation of like bullshit and not and like what's right and what's wrong
29:13no that's not up to me it's not up to me to tell her what to do if this situation was reversed it
29:19was jordan you would have just let him do it dad talk guys if the situation was reversed like you
29:24girls would be livid jacob doesn't know the full story of what's going on between jesse and jordan
29:30i think he's hearing jordan's perspective so i understand why he's taking his side but i think
29:34once he hears the other side of the story he's going to understand more he would never have been able
29:38to slide in if they had solid marriages where they weren't having insecurities and issues it takes
29:43two to tango 100 yeah so i get that so i'm like yeah he's probably sleazy and doesn't have a lot
29:47of morals but i mean it's not all him jesse said that she was being emotionally abused for years with
29:52jordan so i feel like for years that's what she said she said it's been like hell jordan says it's
29:57like he's been on edge since he found out in like september but like on edge exactly he's never said
30:04something about the whole relationship but he said verbally abusing someone again i completely agree
30:08but she said it's been going on for years where he like belittles her like calls her names like a
30:14bunch of different things that are like just not okay that have led up to this to to where this
30:19affair isn't shocking because it's like it was the marriage first yeah like it wasn't like they have
30:24such a good marriage and like she just went and cheated one day because she wanted to hook up with
30:28someone like even then she didn't have sex with him which just shows like she was seeking like
30:32attention and like attention and like validity that she's not getting at home thing is dakota
30:38jordan and zach do you think they're actually talking to jordan about like the deep things about
30:42how he's treating his wife and do you think no you know you should talk some sense into them i know but
30:46i just don't know if i'm comfortable every time we're like doing dad talks it's like you should
30:50tell everyone's around maybe i need to tell them to shape it up but the barbecue so jordan invited all
30:55of mom talk all of dad talk over to jesse's house for a barbecue this week but did not invite jesse
31:01which feels really weird to me because it's like what is your intention here is it to get us on
31:05your side he better watch himself because you know that we're going to go to bat for our girl
31:09i'm just saying like if i was in her shoes and someone was putting me down and i was
31:14miserable that i would be out regardless of what happened to be honest
31:18hi hi it's nice to meet you i found corey here in salt lake and she's an ethnic hair
31:48specialist i just feel like if i keep ignoring my hair loss to be frank i'm probably going to end
31:52up bald this is just something that like i really need to get figured out how do you want your hair
31:57done today i know you wanted the traditional sewing yeah i think i was like looking at your page and
32:01like the minimal leave out one okay yeah now it's time to get the fun going i used to go to my friend
32:10jesse to do my hair and i just didn't want to make her sad by switching did you talk to her about
32:15this before you made the switch no i haven't told her yet do you think jesse will be able to see
32:22and tell if i got my hair done yeah you won't be able to hide it really yeah damn i honestly thought
32:30it wouldn't be too big of a change just because it's like the same hair color jay-z hair so i'm
32:36definitely feeling a little anxious over the fact that i didn't tell jesse but i'm still firm in my
32:40decision that i wasn't doing it with malicious intent i just genuinely did not want to add one more
32:44thing to her plate at the moment but i just hope that if she does notice she notices my intentions
32:50behind not telling her we're pure tell me about yourself well i'm originally from california okay
32:56i've been in utah for about seven years now i'm going on eight yeah i try to get my whole family
33:02here but they're like utah what's in utah i kind of originally moved to utah because i converted
33:08to the church actually so the lds church when i was 16 but obviously didn't turn out that great
33:14because then i got pregnant so fast after moving here are you still lds i don't remember the last
33:18time i even like went to church i still don't have my records removed or anything like that i haven't
33:22like made that final step but there's a lot of things i don't resonate with when it comes to the
33:27church obviously especially like some history parts that are not okay there is an old scripture
33:34in the book of mormon that states that black skin is a curse it's something that i'm aware of now that
33:39i wasn't aware of when i first converted but i try to look at the church with grace and the situations
33:43because they did renounce those teachings about 10 years ago how do you deal with your mental here
33:49and like depression and things like that because i know for myself those are things that i struggle
33:55with here because just feeling excluded yeah um honestly i feel like i'm so used to it but like
34:02growing up too my dad didn't take me a lot around his family because my dad's black my mom's white
34:06and i didn't spend a lot of time with that side of my family so i feel like i almost i get called
34:11whitewashed a lot and i feel like people think it's like a choice but i feel like you're a product of
34:15your environment and i was raised around predominantly white people so that's how i kind of didn't know who
34:21that side of myself was it's very nice to just sit down and connect with corey today and just talk to
34:25somebody that just gets it and can resonate with me with situations that are just kind of unique and
34:30one-off especially living in utah as a person of color it looks so good i love it you do
34:36it looks so good thank you for me you look amazing
34:42i'm passing the phone to someone that also has two baby daddies i'm passing the phone to someone
34:53who loves to boo coffee let me see let me see hello dude it looks good thank you i'm like
35:04nervous to see jess right now i wouldn't worry about it i mean it looks i feel like it's maybe a little
35:08longer do you think yeah but i don't think it's like if i didn't know i wouldn't know i have a hat
35:12my car should i put it on to hide it do you think that the hat's gonna this is the only point that
35:16i think she would reckon i wouldn't bother okay well i wouldn't bother no i love that you're
35:21bringing miniskirts though it's so on brand it's the best i know hello hey guys hey where should we
35:30all sit jordan wants to bring all of us together mom talk and dad talk tomorrow to kind of give his
35:36side and whatever else he has to say jesse's not going to be there because they're not on the best
35:41trims right now so i feel like we need to come together figure it out and decide how to have
35:46jesse's back in the situation because she won't have a voice at the barbecue are you going to the
35:50barbecue the barbecue is weird to begin with because why is he hosting at your house that you've paid for
35:54kind of weird i do think it's best that i'm not at the barbecue because we are separated we're trying
35:59to keep things amicable and stay away from each other as much as we can so i think that it's good that
36:05i'm not there because who knows what drama would go down what do you think his intention is of throwing the
36:10barbecue with all of us no not you i feel like it's a facade it's like you guys i'm so sad like
36:16please don't be involved i really want to get jesse back we're really working on it but yet like we
36:19know what's going on behind the scenes if he does that i'm like hey listen that's not the truth yeah
36:24what like i don't want to go if you're not there i know what do you want our strategy to be going so
36:29i do feel like there's going to be an element of him and maybe some of the other husbands being like
36:33well i think it was inappropriate you guys went to dinner with marcia say okay i didn't do anything
36:37with marciana that's in between them two i'm like i don't know why they're like it's so inappropriate
36:41you did that like if it's a shit on jesse fest then yeah i'm going to be upset but well he better not
36:46because he knows that yeah it would be very bold to do that probably zach will back him up so i think
36:52he's got people on his side i just wonder if this is going to turn into like boys against girls
36:58now that i know everything in the extent of how jordan has been treating jesse in their marriage i don't
37:03know if i'm fully supportive of them working it out right now so it'll be interesting going into
37:08this barbecue of the tensions or to see what his intentions are and if he wants to get mom talk on
37:13his side um any of you guys done anal
37:15i've tried it but it hurts i told him to take it out you didn't like it it hurts oh my god
37:22what do you mean it hurt of course it hurt but i feel like i just feel like just have sex
37:28i'm just wondering like so it hurts there's bigger holes there's bigger holes i use that one
37:35mikayla does the belly button but isn't it the smaller the better for the guy not for you that's
37:40what i'm saying we are breaking the patriarchy here dear god but have you tried it you gotta
37:45spice things up either you swing or you have anal sex i'm crying i think jen likes to put out there
37:53that she's really mormon but like i know that jen's a little freaky so it doesn't shock me
37:59okay someone get the blankets i can't do it i'm pregnant then grab more shit macy down i have two
38:05things are you ready okay wait your hair looks longer i definitely thought it was in the clear
38:11and jesse was not gonna notice my hair but clearly she did unfortunately i feel like there's definitely
38:16no way to avoid this conversation now okay i love jay-z and i love you and i love how you've
38:23done my hair yeah but i went to a black hair stylist
38:27i was just noticing my hair just like wasn't doing well i just think there's been so much
38:45going on in your life right now just personal life and i just didn't want to like add one more thing
38:49on i think you could have just told me i think that's the only thing is like it would be totally
38:54fine if you were like hey i feel like i need to go somewhere that specializes in black hair i'd be
38:57like totally fine avoiding hard conversations it's definitely a habit that i used to have but
39:02i'm trying to be better at speaking my mind and not keeping things in so i feel like this is the
39:07start of me changing that habit unfortunately here in utah we don't have many black people or black
39:12stylists and it's actually a big problem like i think that you know like i just didn't get the
39:17education in school and that's something i want to learn more about so i just want you to know i
39:21don't i never want you to feel like you have to hide that from me because i understand it's not like
39:24you're like fuck jesse it's like no like your hair needs to be treated differently and i want that
39:27for you i'm using your hair and like i always use like your shampoo and stuff like that just i think
39:31the installation can i look at it though i'm actually curious it's like actually get on your
39:35knees because you're so tall it's just at the top right here but it's like do you see how there's
39:39like a net underneath right there oh yeah yeah so did they cornrow your yeah so they braided all of
39:43this and then i have like leave out at the bottom but they like so she put like the net on top
39:48and then sewed everything on oh my gosh so high no it's crazy i didn't realize that ethnic care
39:55needed to be treated differently yeah but i feel like this is kind of just like a step of me starting
39:58to like embrace my other side of myself yeah and being proud of both sides and that's cute great
40:03love you you look amazing thank you the hair is beautiful you can always tell me just so you know
40:07i love you you're the best yeah i love you too and it looks really good thank you
40:10today everyone's coming over for a barbecue so that i can have an opportunity to express
40:37where i'm at at times i still feel like i'm the victim here i'm the one that's fighting for our
40:41marriage i'm the one that was cheated on so as much as i want them to show up with love and support
40:45for jesse i'm really hoping that the girls can see my side and maybe have some empathy
40:51all right i'm sorry i gotta have a little taste
40:54damn i did it again you're not getting any right now
41:01no no way you've been here right yeah
41:08have you seen their closet it's unreal it's amazing
41:15come on in hey what's up guys how are you it's been too long i know what's up what's up
41:22jordan how are you i haven't seen you forever i know it's been a minute i think jen has a lot
41:27of fear of me fighting with the girls in mom talk because they've had strong opinions about me
41:31so she just asked me to be supportive of jordan but not really say anything
41:35been so out of respect for her and just trying to keep the peace i'm gonna stay quiet jordan how
41:40are you doing with everything it's been it's been hell you got like macy and mikaela like let's go
41:45and meet up with marciano oh let's have him come and do a lie detector test oh let's let's
41:50facetime him and tell him what happened with the me stuff and i wish that the other girls would
41:55like sometimes just remember that this is like our real life you know now you can see how we felt
41:59when you guys were doing the whole chippendales party and where we were at i mean it was the
42:04exact same thing it's it i don't think it's the exact same thing because that wasn't an affair
42:08but i i do i can understand the the principle but the principle absolutely like it being something
42:13hard for you guys yes and it being like joked about yes
42:16hi hi how are you good how are you doing good what's up jacob how you doing buddy
42:29good it's good to see you macy a little side hug there this is weird to be here without jesse
42:36is it weird did you pay her like an hourly rate to rent it out
42:40all right if you guys want to go out by the pool
42:47i feel a little heated going into this barbecue and i say that because i heard that dad talk was
42:54talking shit on mom talk at their last little event let me find a good spot i think it is a
43:01little manipulative the way that jordan is not really telling his role and contributing to
43:05the issues that him and jesse have been having and if more members of dad talk knew that they
43:09wouldn't be so quick to be on jordan's side there's not much room there yeah you sat in the middle
43:14bro oh sorry did you guys play in your outfits don't lie you guys are starting to look scary
43:20similar actually you too it's the blue eyes you're starting to like morph into the same person i'm
43:25scared i have blue thing one thing too what i have blue eyes yeah they say when you start to act
43:31the same he's got a red beard they look very similar so
43:34yeah um he said you're telling me you know i just kind of wanted like i haven't really like addressed
43:42everybody since everything's kind of like obviously unfolded so i just kind of like wanted to tell you
43:47guys kind of just like where i'm at right now
43:49we obviously tried to keep a wrap on this thing through the last seven months and i was so hurt
43:56and as an anxious relationship type person like i just want to be seen and i felt like i reacted
44:02extremely poorly um and it made us get to a place where it was extremely toxic it's really hard guys like
44:12i don't know what's gonna happen um i still love my wife and um
44:19i want to try to make it work i think it's very clear which husbands out of dad talk have an issue
44:27with those mormon traditional gender roles and so i want to believe that jordan is taking full
44:34accountability and wanting to change his actions but i think for me it's just hard because i see the
44:38other end of it and i see the way that he treats jesse behind closed doors so as of now i'm still
44:43on team jesse sorry that you're going through this you and her honestly yeah that's tough it's hard
44:51definitely when like we're hearing the majority from jesse to not perceive you a certain way but
44:56we all f up and well we also need to remember right like she she did have an affair and it's you
45:02know she's been continuing to communicate with this guy those decisions break the boundaries that we've
45:08set in therapy right but didn't she break those boundaries too
45:11you are correct okay and i take full accountability and i think she has an issue with that too because
45:22i've heard it's a big portion of your marriage and you're just taking accountability for the last six
45:26months after the cheating but that doesn't excuse that behavior no i'm not no one's here condoning
45:30cheating no one's like yeah go out and have an affair that's awful that she did that too but
45:34i don't think it's fair to say like well jesse did go out and have an affair because like
45:38there is equal poor behavior in the relationship you know yeah there was but there's bad things on
45:43both sides right i was just saying that i just want you guys both to be i agree with that there
45:47are still like slip-ups i think that's what's hard is that we hear her side of it yeah and we
45:53are seeing the reactions on your side and it's hard as good friends to sit there and say oh
45:56absolutely get treated that way that's amazing for you i have a lot of flaws i hope you guys like
46:02see the authenticity that i like i'm trying to be authentic with you guys
46:05and like sometimes i feel like you guys kind of like dick around and like make light of something
46:13that's painful for me to just be kind of almost made light of at times what do you mean make light
46:19out of it i've heard you guys giggle about about what all of you i don't want to say specific names
46:24well you have to because we haven't done that like i'm trying to remember specifically give me give
46:29me a second there's not like we'll hear shitty things and like that's not okay like of course
46:34no one here has ever said leave jordan we're not like divorce him you know like i wish we got that
46:39okay though we learned from our mistakes i will say if you guys have any intention of working things out
46:48i'd keep a lot of things between you two in private but not that you can't confide in friends because
46:53obviously that's why we're here for you guys but then you do start to get people's opinions and it
46:57starts messing with your mind and then it will create this wedge between both of you i'm sure
47:01jen and zach can also relate to that of like work things out between you two and that's something
47:07dakota and i had to learn the hard way i don't want that for you guys but inviting him to dinner wasn't
47:11okay i get that she's your friend and you're backing her up but she said that you would like question
47:16it and like you're like did more happen absolutely so i feel like that's fair of her to go in and try
47:20to clear that i actually agree with jordan i do know it's not a good look obviously you're still
47:25married and then the girls are saying well she's separated she can do whatever she wants you can
47:29do whatever you want but you're going to pay the consequences of doing whatever you want
47:32it wasn't necessary what i'm saying though is if the roles were reversed if zach and jace
47:40had an affair hold on i was trying to understand like you said they had an affair i was like what
47:46if they had an affair jester does look kind of good if they had an affair with the same girl
47:52i was like i think we'd have better issues i get it and then dakota and i go meet up with
47:56her yes you guys would flip and i'm sorry you would have a conniption about it me yes
48:02i'm sure that jace didn't appreciate that jace doesn't care i drove down to beaver and had
48:13lunch with him well i definitely don't like the guy yeah neither do i no one likes the guy i don't
48:19like the guy it just sucks because i in some way know what he's feeling and going through and it sucks
48:24when you don't feel like you have the support of your wife's friends because you're already fighting
48:29for your marriage i'm just saying that if the roles were reversed i think you guys wouldn't be
48:33okay with it but it's not okay and also i have a really hard time when you're like boxing out and
48:38all this for her because you really went hard at dakota jesse took accountability he lied for years so
48:48there's a huge difference yeah my lie was also before dating but you lied multiple times before
48:53before dating it doesn't matter because you lied to the relationship if jordan wants me and the
49:00mom talk girls on his side he is going about this whole situation the wrong way and i think it's
49:05because jordan is seeming more and more like dakota you're gonna go on my shit list as well once you
49:09get on that list as a man it's very hard to get off if these two had an affair with a girl and they
49:14invite her to dinner it would be crossing a boundary if all of the guys for you guys to say it's
49:19inappropriate for all of us to do because we're not married to you
49:22i just want you guys to like really try and step into my shoes for just a second on this that's for
49:29you and jesse to talk about do you guys think we were sitting on his lap having him feed us tacos
49:34saying that it's inappropriate itself yes for your that's for you guys to decide yeah we didn't cheat
49:40on our husbands but it's again it's your reaction to it originally mom talk started and we wanted to
49:46kind of move from the outdated lds like ways we can be the breadwinner but i i don't think it makes
49:53it okay for us to treat our baby daddy's husband's partners with disrespect so i'm just hoping it's
50:00not too late to remind mom talk of the original message of what we were trying to do have you guys
50:06come here to be like take my side what i'm trying to do right now is just work on myself and if that
50:11leads jesse and i back together then amazing and if it doesn't then that's also going to be fine as
50:15well i love the accountability yeah i will say i appreciate the accountability yeah you're admitting
50:20all your flaws i think what matters is what you're doing now moving forward and that's all that matters
50:26me mom talking dad talk get along forever amen um do we get along though
50:31dancing with the stars wants to choose one of us
50:43this could be really really cool for mom talk
50:47oh god you can't do this again we're not gonna have people coming and going why are you here today
50:56what do you want i feel like our sexual relationship has been struggling for a while
51:02now we're both kind of at this crossroad of we don't know how to move forward right now
51:07it's like i want to be able to fix it it's really hard
51:12are you gonna say hi no she's actually dead to me
51:19fuck you
51:20fuck you you know nothing about the situation
51:25to me you know nothing
51:26i wish i could be the one to save you
51:34jesus please come to the rescue
51:37i can't help him
51:39it's pulling away
51:40i don't think i can
51:42say
51:43jesus please come to the rescue
51:46jesus jesus come to rescue
51:50jesus please come to the rescue
51:53jesus jesus jesus jesus jesus
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