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00:00Mummy, can you not do that?
00:02Johannes has picked me up. He's going to pop in and meet the kids.
00:05I'll get it.
00:05No, mummy, wait. Mum, what do you...
00:07How's it? You must be Amanda's sister.
00:12Easy mistake. Mother.
00:14Thanks, mummy.
00:15Hi.
00:17Um, I'm nervous.
00:19It's ridiculous. I don't know why I'm so nervous.
00:22Don't be.
00:23I've met loads of my girlfriend's kids.
00:25The trick is not to make a big thing of it.
00:30Hey, guys.
00:32Manus, Georgina, um...
00:35This is...
00:35We know. He's our new dad.
00:38What are you talking about, Manus? No.
00:41No one is replacing your dad.
00:43Janus is absolutely not here to replace...
00:45It was a joke.
00:48Yes, it was.
00:52That was very, very funny. It was very, very good.
00:56I love that. I love it. So good.
00:59Do you guys like 20-pound notes?
01:01Yeah.
01:04Sick.
01:04Ooh.
01:06Mm-hmm.
01:07Oh.
01:13It couldn't have gone any better, frankly.
01:15It was very organic. No one made a big thing of it.
01:16Just, yeah, absolute success story.
01:19So when are we going to meet this new squeeze?
01:21Oh.
01:22Must be getting serious if you're introducing him to the children.
01:25Well, you know, he's a special part of my life now, and you kind of know after three months, right, P?
01:32Don't ask me. I've got terrible boundaries. I proposed to Della on our second day.
01:36Oh, wow.
01:38Chris proposed to me on my 18th birthday.
01:40Oh.
01:40And later on that night, we took each other's virginity.
01:42And then we made love in each one of my friend's parents' double beds.
01:46Just devouring each other's bodies.
01:49But not like now.
01:50I can't even remember the last time Chris and I even brushed hands.
01:56What's in the bag, Anne?
01:57Oh, Fatima's mum lent me a tent for camping this weekend.
02:00Yeah, there's still space if you want to join. I mean, everyone else is coming.
02:03No, Anne, Anne, I'm still a maybe.
02:04No, you're not. You're taking this weekend off.
02:06No, thank you.
02:08Only time I'm sitting fit in a tent is if it's a marquee and it's an ascot and there's pins.
02:12What about a first aid tent?
02:14Well, of course I go in a first aid tent.
02:15A gazebo? Would you go in a gazebo?
02:17Yes, I would go in a gazebo.
02:19What about if you got murdered and they put a tent over the crime scene?
02:22Don't you have a whistle to blow or something?
02:24You got our deposit right, Anne?
02:26Yes.
02:27Yes.
02:27Me, Ned, Abs, baby Isla and our main man here.
02:32I bet you're a dab hand at camping now, being a gardener.
02:35Me? No.
02:36Only time I've camped is one glass dough with Abs.
02:39Spent most of it behind a falafel stand in a K-hole.
02:42Tell me about it.
02:43I got stuck in a K-hole this weekend.
02:45Ate the whole thing.
02:46I am pretty hormonal though.
02:49I'm not kicking that.
02:54Is that your new boyfriend, Amanda?
02:55Yeah.
02:56Can I meet him?
02:57No, please.
02:58Just quickly.
02:59Hi.
03:00Hey you.
03:02Oh, wow.
03:05Have you been checking my browsing history?
03:07Because sexy soccer mum is one of my go-toes.
03:09You must be Amanda's piece of hot stuff.
03:12You can call me Johannes.
03:15Okay.
03:16Yeah.
03:16Wow.
03:17It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness.
03:20Yeah.
03:20No wonder you kept us on the down low.
03:23Dating African royalty?
03:25It's Johannes.
03:26Johannes.
03:27Oh, Johannes.
03:27Yes.
03:28Yeah, okay.
03:29Apologies for grace.
03:30My name is Anne, aka the BFF from BITD, back in the day.
03:36That's quite an impressive package you're holding there, Anne.
03:39Oh, it's a tent.
03:40Yeah, there's a big gang of us going camping over the weekend.
03:42Oh, camping.
03:43I love camping.
03:45My Omer used to have a farm back in Michalisburg.
03:47We would camp there every summer.
03:49Oh.
03:50I would love a night under canvas.
03:52What do you say, Amanda?
03:53Oh, well, you're flogging a dead horse there because Amanda hates camping.
03:57Interesting my words a bit there, Anne.
03:59I just find tents uncomfy because I have very long legs and back.
04:02Fine, then.
04:02I'll get a camper van for you and the kids.
04:04All the mod cons.
04:06It'll be like a hotel room on a campsite.
04:08You'll love it.
04:10Yay.
04:11Can't wait.
04:12It's got to be so much fun, Your Highness.
04:15Yeah.
04:16Thanks, Anne.
04:17All right, right hand down a bit.
04:18That's good.
04:19That's good.
04:19That's good.
04:20This is so unfair.
04:22Why can't I stay here with the gangan?
04:24Gangan's moving back home.
04:25I'm not.
04:26You are, Mum, you haven't even talked about this.
04:27Well, my new sauna's got a leak.
04:29And so they've turned off the water until Thursday.
04:31You don't need water, Mum.
04:32You entirely exist on sherry and talca powder.
04:34So lame.
04:35Georgie, please don't be difficult.
04:37Why can't we go to Florida or something?
04:39I really don't want to see Darius.
04:42Come on.
04:42We're going to have a nice family holiday with our new dad, Johannes.
04:48I hate you for making me go.
04:51Hey, where are your bags?
04:53Ah, when you're a seasoned outdoorsman like I am, you learn to travel as light as possible.
04:59Give me a dish.
05:01How clever that he can fit all his belongings into his pockets.
05:04This isn't the camper I ordered.
05:06Yes, I swapped it.
05:08This will look way better on the socials.
05:10Right, okay.
05:11I had an ex who had one of these.
05:13Carlos.
05:14We used to drive it back from Spain every summer.
05:17With three pounds of hashish stuffed into the seats.
05:21Good times.
05:22Manus, darling, let's go.
05:24Hi, I'm Johannes.
05:26You must be the guy who lives in the basement.
05:27Yeah.
05:28I'm envious already.
05:29The only guy who should be underneath my girlfriend is me.
05:35You all right?
05:36Mel, okay.
05:36Fist bumps, yeah.
05:38Amanda said it's okay if I catch a lift with you guys down to the campsite.
05:41Sure, sure.
05:42Anything to keep my chick happy.
05:44Oh, sorry about that, mate.
05:47Here you go.
05:53I'll drive, baby.
05:56Okay.
05:57Right, seatbelts on.
05:58Seatbelts on, everybody.
06:02Oh, no.
06:04We're right on top of the toilets.
06:06How are you?
06:07You found us all right?
06:08Are you serious, Anne?
06:10Huh?
06:10I'm basically camping on a septic tank.
06:13Oh, yeah, sorry, Amanda.
06:14I would have been here earlier to get a better spot,
06:16but my roof box exploded on the M3.
06:18Right, I'm going to need you to move your tent over there
06:20because I need this for you behind me for my Insta shots.
06:23Just pop yourself over there.
06:24Yeah, yeah.
06:25Yeah, okay.
06:26Yeah, Darius, come on.
06:27You heard the woman.
06:27Let's move the tent.
06:28Why?
06:29You go around the other side.
06:30Go on.
06:34Where's Abs and the Babs?
06:35Isla has a temperature,
06:36so Abs thought it best to stay at home.
06:38So it's just the three of us.
06:39Last on tour.
06:41Woo.
06:42Hi, look at this.
06:44Someone knows what they're doing.
06:46What do you Brits say, full kit wanker?
06:48That's me.
06:48All the gear, no idea.
06:50Hey, Amanda, I really like this guy.
06:53Yeah, that's a...
06:55Come on, Anne.
06:59Choc, choc.
06:59Johannes.
07:00Oh, JJ, thanks.
07:01Nice to meet you.
07:02You too.
07:03Now it's just me.
07:04It's a bit overkill.
07:04No, it's great.
07:06There's plenty of room in my tent
07:07if you want to bunk up with me.
07:08No, we'll be fine in here, mate.
07:10It's actually more spacious than it seems.
07:12Yeah.
07:16Johannes.
07:18Baby.
07:19Where's the loo in this thing?
07:20I don't think the older models have toilets.
07:23The one I ordered had a toilet,
07:24but you swapped it.
07:25What?
07:26But I thought that was the whole point of a camper van.
07:28I don't do public toilets.
07:30Heidi, hi, campers!
07:33Sorry we're late.
07:34Hey, that's convenient, isn't it?
07:35Right next to the bogs.
07:36I'll just go over here, shall I?
07:38I mean, I brought a tent.
07:39Oh, I bought it last night on the internet.
07:40I've seen one of these boxes somewhere.
07:42God, I need to sit down.
07:43Bloody miles from the car park.
07:44Where's that chair?
07:47Oh, bingo.
07:49Mand, can I plug into your camper thingy?
07:51Sorry, Fee, this is actually for my ring light.
07:54Oh, just posh it over, will you?
07:56Morten?
07:56Yeah?
07:57Find them pre-mixed cocktails.
07:58It's much better to build a tent and a half cup.
08:00Um, oh, I found them.
08:02Great.
08:02Do you want one?
08:03Oh, yes, please.
08:05Thanks, baby.
08:06Morten, could you try and coax Georgie out of the van?
08:09Please.
08:10She's just trying to avoid Darius or something.
08:12Hiya.
08:13Is Della coming?
08:14Yeah, she's going to join us later.
08:16Great.
08:17So it's one of the freezers at work packed up,
08:19so she's going to get a taxi after service tonight.
08:22It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
08:26I've got Prime, I'll order another one for tomorrow.
08:28Just got to find my...
08:29Not a real bank.
08:31I wasn't scared.
08:32Right, I'm up to find a tap.
08:47Oh, Jesus.
08:49Anyone want a glug from my bladder?
08:51No, Anne, I'm going to have to drastically reduce my liquid intake
08:54in light of this no-toilet situation.
08:57There's a toilet literally there.
08:59I do not use public toilets, Anne.
09:00Can you move you and your bladder out of my shot?
09:03Yep.
09:04All right, who fast is a kicker bat?
09:07Anyone?
09:10Hey, JJ.
09:11Want to take a look at my Bowie knife?
09:14Oh, sick.
09:15By me, all right, that's a big one.
09:17I'm pretty sure they're illegal now.
09:19This little thing?
09:20Nah, I was gutting gazelles with this when I was, like, eight.
09:24So heavy.
09:25All right, well, I'm going to go and find some firewood then.
09:28Ah, firewood time.
09:29Right, let's make this a little more interesting.
09:33The man who comes back with the biggest log wins 20 quid.
09:37Bit sexist.
09:38Don't you want to include the girls?
09:39Oh, sorry.
09:41Would any of the chicks like to come and collect some firewood?
09:46I rest my case.
09:48Boys, to the woods.
09:50Stay.
09:51Get out of my way.
09:52I saw good cops over there with a fallen tree.
09:55Isn't he the best?
09:56Okay, who's got the biggest log?
10:00Oh, come on, Mal.
10:01You can do better than that.
10:03Look at JJ.
10:04Yeah, I'm just going to collect some kindling to start the firewood.
10:06Mal knows he's not going to win.
10:08Your size isn't everything, mate.
10:09Throw telling that to your girlfriend, Twiggy.
10:12You all right, JJ?
10:13Yeah, sorry, mate.
10:21My craziest time on safari in South Africa was probably swimming with a hippo.
10:26They're so deadly, but I like that about them.
10:28Sexy, isn't he?
10:29I'm supposed to have a real big, big energy.
10:31I am not the person to ask about that.
10:33I'm thinking of doing a hike tomorrow.
10:34Anyone want to join me?
10:36There's some standing stones about four miles away.
10:38Yeah, I'm sure.
10:39Right, let's do it.
10:40I think I'm going to hit the hey, big man.
10:41Do you mind if I sleep in JJ's tent night?
10:44There might be a bit more room, you know what I mean?
10:46Yeah, no, of course.
10:48Okay, boys, on your feet.
10:50Time for one last duty of the night.
10:52All the males are to piss around the perimeter of the campsite.
10:56What?
10:57You're in us.
10:57No.
10:58This will stop the foxes from ripping up the trash bags,
11:00because they hate the smell of male piss.
11:02And before any feminists complain, it's biology.
11:05I'm sorry.
11:06This is not cool, guys.
11:08Yeah, we could just throw our rubbish in the big bins over there.
11:11Yeah, that'll stop the foxes, too.
11:12A wild piss is one of life's little pleasures, Twiggy.
11:15Can we stop talking about pee?
11:17Yeah, and please don't call me Twiggy.
11:19Ah, it's only a bit of fun, Twiggy.
11:22Can you keep it down, please?
11:24Some of us are trying to sleep.
11:25It's 8.15.
11:26Sorry.
11:27Yeah.
11:28I'm out of here.
11:30See you in the morning.
11:30Yeah, yeah.
11:44Look, Diego, just move everything you can to the other freezer,
11:47and I'll call the refrigeration company in the morning, all right?
11:49Good night.
11:52Great, matey.
11:53Why does it smell like a Vauxhall piss club out there?
12:00Delivery for the breakfast club.
12:01Yeah, great.
12:02Great bacon rolls, yeah?
12:03No, you're not meant to have fruit in a freezer.
12:05Thanks, mate.
12:06Thanks.
12:07Dale, it's Morten.
12:08Bacon sannies are here.
12:10God, you know, I thought that camping would be tough,
12:13but it's actually really fun, innit?
12:15Morten!
12:16Right, I'm off for a shower.
12:20Help yourself to my bladder.
12:29Sorry, we're out of the shower.
12:33Holy moly, God.
12:39Okay, boys.
12:40Six kilometre heights to the Standing Stones.
12:43JJ, you can bring up the rear.
12:44The little kids can go in the middle,
12:46and I'll lead from the front.
12:48Actually, I'll lead if that's okay.
12:50Ah, okay.
12:52Somebody wants to be the head of the pride.
12:55Can you read a map?
12:56Got my phone, mate.
12:57It's 21st century.
12:58It's not really in the spirit of orienteering, mate.
13:00Who cares as long as we get there?
13:02Let's roll.
13:03Bye, guys.
13:05Have the best time.
13:07Right, follow this path, fellas.
13:09See you later, my lady.
13:11Isn't he great?
13:14So, our dilemma was,
13:20do we try and cross the piranha-infested river?
13:23Oh, that doesn't sound good.
13:23Or do we walk back the same track
13:26where we saw the fucking crocodile?
13:28No.
13:28Uh-oh.
13:29Okay, we can go right just around here.
13:33Um, Ned, mate, you got your phone on you?
13:35No, Johanna said leave it behind
13:37because what goes on tour stays on tour.
13:39Oh, shit.
13:41I'll just get your girl first.
13:44Come on.
13:45Thanks.
13:45Nice to meet you.
13:46Come on.
13:48Georgie, come here.
13:49Come on.
13:50Come over here.
13:52Darling, what is going on?
13:53I just want to start a nice time
13:54and you're making it really remarkably unfun.
13:57I'm literally on holiday with my ex
13:59and you're rubbing it in my face
14:01with your new boyfriend.
14:02Well, newsflash, Georgie.
14:03I'm not having the best time either.
14:05I haven't urinated for 26 hours
14:08and I have a borderline UTI.
14:10So I would really appreciate it
14:12if you would just stop moaning for 15 minutes
14:15and try and smash a ball up a windmill.
14:18Ugh.
14:20Cheers.
14:21Right, who's next?
14:22Could everyone do us, please?
14:26Yeah.
14:27Sure.
14:32Uh, sorry.
14:33Can we just have two of those, please?
14:34Sure.
14:35There you are.
14:40That's the stunt we passed before.
14:42Whoa, whoa, whoa.
14:43Are we lost, Twiggy?
14:44No, it's fine.
14:45I think if we just keep heading up this track here...
14:46Okay, everybody stop.
14:48JJ, hand me the map.
14:50I know where we are.
14:51Well, you obviously don't
14:53because we keep doing loop-de-loops.
14:55Show me where you think we are on your phone.
14:58Yeah, well, I...
14:59I can't because the battery's...
15:02Uh...
15:03Twiggy!
15:08That is too funny!
15:10Oh, my God!
15:11You've got to be kidding me.
15:12Why don't you say anything, Dad?
15:13It's okay, it's fine.
15:14It's fine.
15:15I'll lead.
15:16It's this way.
15:17Onwards!
15:18Yeah, you lot...
15:21Carry on ahead.
15:22I'm going to go back to the campsite.
15:25Okay, Twiggy!
15:26Don't get lost!
15:2835.
15:3236.
15:3337.
15:34Don't look at them.
15:42Just concentrate.
15:4538.
15:46Yeah, I just sent you a video
15:47on how to reset the thermostat, Diego.
15:49Della!
15:50Della, are you playing or what?
15:51I'll call you back, okay?
15:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:56In camping, lush.
15:57Yeah.
15:57You know, I was thinking
15:58that we could take
15:59the summer holidays off
15:59and do a bit of a
16:00road trip round Italy.
16:02Are you mad?
16:03How do you think
16:04I can take six weeks
16:05off the restaurant?
16:05Oh, you just do it.
16:07You're the boss.
16:08Yeah, exactly.
16:09I'm the boss.
16:10I'm in charge.
16:13Do you know,
16:13some of the shit
16:13you come out with sometimes.
16:15Just thought it'd be fun.
16:16If I'm not a chin
16:17or a double chin,
16:18it's a shitstorm, Fiona.
16:20Look what a mess it is
16:20and I'm only away for one night.
16:22I don't think you appreciate
16:23how difficult it is
16:24to do my job sometimes
16:25or any job.
16:26Well, I'm sorry.
16:30I thought it'd be
16:31a nice, fun family holiday.
16:33Maybe you should have
16:34stayed in your bloody kitchen
16:35overcooking your
16:36overpriced burgers.
16:41It's not even real, golf!
16:44Focus.
16:47156.
16:48157.
16:49158.
16:50And...
16:50I think you need to
16:52step away from that
16:53alligator's hole.
16:54Yeah, I'm just gonna...
16:56go back to my tent
16:57and have a lie down.
16:58Yeah.
17:05Still got it.
17:07Sure.
17:07Can we have a word?
17:20Can we have a word?
17:24You all right?
17:41I should never have come
17:42on this stupid trip.
17:43Yeah, I know how you feel.
17:48I'm having a bit of a shock
17:49on myself.
17:50I think my business is about to close.
17:57Oh, shit.
17:58I massively overstretched myself
18:00with double chin.
18:02We're hemorrhaging money.
18:03I think we've four, maybe,
18:05five weeks left.
18:07I'm shitting my pants.
18:09Have you told Fi?
18:10No.
18:12I can't tell her.
18:17I'm gonna split this
18:18antique ecstasy pool with me.
18:20Where'd you get that?
18:21Found it in my tent.
18:23It's probably been there
18:24since the last time
18:24I went to a glass.
18:25To a brew, so...
18:27God knows if it still works.
18:31Little bar.
18:31Oh, my God!
18:40Oh, my bladder!
18:45Thank you for the lift.
18:51I'm a pervert.
18:53I've been given a formal warning
18:55for ogling men.
18:56I can't stop myself.
18:58Oh, Anne!
19:00God, I've spent a...
19:01all these years
19:01repressing the fact
19:02that I should have been out there
19:03sowing my oats
19:04instead of marrying
19:04the first man who came along
19:05and now...
19:07it's all just bubbling over
19:07and I can't help myself.
19:09Oh, stop this, Anne.
19:10You're perry many.
19:11We all are.
19:11Oh, speak for yourself, Fi.
19:13Is that what this is?
19:14It's your body getting rid
19:15of the last of your eggs.
19:16You're looking for anybody
19:17to impregnate you.
19:18Makes you an absolute horndog.
19:20Well, that actually makes
19:21a lot of sense.
19:23Thanks, Fi.
19:24That's...
19:24That's a relief.
19:26I don't even care about cock.
19:28It's got me, too.
19:29Wow.
19:29It must be really hard
19:31for you being around
19:32here, Hannah's, Anne.
19:33You know, because...
19:35He's so sexy.
19:39Actually, no.
19:40He's the only man
19:41who doesn't arouse me.
19:46Oh, for God's sakes!
19:48Would you stop drinking
19:49in front of me, Anne?
19:50Oh, come on, now.
19:51Look, if you won't use
19:52the campsite loose,
19:53so be it.
19:54But at least try and have a wee
19:55in that copse over there.
19:56No one's going to see you.
19:57Just go!
19:58So desperate!
19:58Go on, now!
19:59Oh, God.
20:00Do you feel anything?
20:22Nope.
20:23What was that?
20:27I'll go check.
20:33Oh, cool.
20:35Baby, you okay?
20:36Mom!
20:36I'm coming!
20:37Snake!
20:38Snake!
20:39It's a snake!
20:40Snake!
20:41Oh, it's a snake!
20:41Oh, it's a snake!
20:41Oh, God!
20:43What?
20:43That's...
20:44Okay, I think.
20:45This isn't a snake.
20:46I can't keep picking it up.
20:47What?
20:48This is an earthworm
20:48with a leather jacket.
20:50What's all the screaming?
20:50You see this, boys?
20:52Yeah, I'd put that down
20:53if I was you, mate.
20:53That's an adder.
20:56You want to see a real adder?
20:57You should see the puff adders
20:59back in Kruger.
21:00Ah!
21:00Oh, my God!
21:02Little shit bit me!
21:03Right, we need to get you
21:04to hospital.
21:04What?
21:05Keep your hair on, Twiggy.
21:06It's only a silly little baby snake.
21:08Poisonous, Johannes.
21:09What?
21:09Oh, it's poisonous, is it?
21:10Right, fine.
21:11Okay, well,
21:12better suck the poison out,
21:13then, hadn't I?
21:13No, Johannes, don't!
21:14Johannes, please, stop!
21:16Are you filming this?
21:16No, you're just putting poison
21:18in your mouth.
21:18You should listen to him, Johannes.
21:19Miles is a gardener.
21:20He knows about snakes.
21:21Shut up, JJ.
21:22Okay.
21:23See?
21:25It's absolutely fine.
21:26Oh, my tongue's all fucked up.
21:28Oh, for God's sakes, Johannes!
21:31Right, come on,
21:32we're going to the hospital.
21:33I don't need to go to the hospital.
21:34You do.
21:34Can you come with us, please?
21:36I don't know if that's a good idea.
21:37Just to sit in the back
21:38with him, please.
21:39Just go.
21:40I don't need to go to the hoppable.
21:43I don't need to go to the hoppable.
21:44Yeah, well, fine.
21:45Okay, it's okay.
21:49Don't panic, guys.
21:58Don't panic.
21:59Everything's okay.
22:00Johannes, hang in there.
22:01We're nearly there.
22:02Mal, are you all right?
22:03Mal?
22:04Mal?
22:05Yeah.
22:07Yeah, I'm fine.
22:08Can you turn that music up a bit?
22:10What?
22:10There isn't any music.
22:12Oh.
22:13Cool.
22:13I thought you bogged off back to Shin.
22:19Let's go to Morocco.
22:21Yeah, right.
22:21No, I'm serious.
22:22Let's go at half term.
22:23You, me, and Morton.
22:24Let's just go and eat to Jean
22:26and go to the souk
22:27and ride camels
22:28and it'll be amazing
22:29because it'll only be the three of us
22:30and we won't be anywhere near the restaurant
22:32and I'll turn my phone off
22:34and it'll be amazing.
22:35You've never turned your phone off.
22:36Fuck my phone.
22:42Fuck work.
22:43Fuck everything.
22:44Oh, you were right.
22:45I love you so much, baby.
22:47Are you serious?
22:49Here, take my credit card.
22:50Book it.
22:52Casablanca, here we go.
22:57Yeah, so I'm going to get my phone
22:58because it has all my passwords
23:00and photographs in it, so.
23:04Where is it?
23:05Locked it in that bush, mate.
23:06Yeah.
23:10Sick.
23:12Fix the piss over here.
23:19I think there's bound to be
23:20clean toilets in the Bupa wing,
23:21don't you?
23:23You shouldn't be with Johannes.
23:26What?
23:27He's not good enough for you, Amanda.
23:31Well, I think you're in the minority there, Mal,
23:33because everyone clearly adores Johannes.
23:36Oh, God, sorry.
23:37Your, your hair
23:40is like it's made of golden beams of light.
23:45Can I bob your hair?
23:53Oh, great.
23:55Johannes says you can pop in
23:58and see me now.
23:59Great.
24:00All right.
24:01I shall pop in.
24:10Hey.
24:10Hi.
24:11Hi.
24:11Hey.
24:11They need to keep me in overnight.
24:15They said the venom from the snake that bit me
24:17was more akin to that of a king cobra.
24:19Isn't that something?
24:21Yeah.
24:21Do you mind if I use your loo quickly, Johannes?
24:23No.
24:24Of course.
24:25I will be safe to travel back to London in the morning.
24:34The only thing is,
24:35it takes some time for the poison to leave your system.
24:38So, is it okay if I stay with you?
24:42Amanda?
24:43Of course.
24:44Amazing.
24:45It'll only be for a couple of weeks, a month max.
24:48Is that okay, baby?
24:50Great.
24:51Keep that up there.
25:04Ha!
25:04The brave soldier returns.
25:07How are you feeling, Your Highness?
25:09It was actually the worst they'd ever seen, Anne.
25:11But they said my body reacted so powerfully to it
25:14because I have such a strong immune system.
25:17Right.
25:17Yeah.
25:18We can get a guide to take us up the Atlas Mountains
25:20and I've inquired about that Riyadh
25:22that Damon Alban uses every Christmas.
25:25And then I reckon that we just spend like ages
25:27just by the pool just doing nothing, you know?
25:28Ned, um, you don't have to do that, mate.
25:30No, it's all right, Dad.
25:31I actually slept in here last night.
25:35What?
25:36Is everything all right, Dad?
25:39Yeah, no, I'm good.
25:41Just a little bit emotional today.
25:43Yeah?
25:43I'm good, I'm good.
25:45That really touched me.
25:47Do you want a hug or something?
25:49Yeah.
25:50Good man.
25:57Listen,
25:58Your Highness is going to come and stay with us
26:00for a couple of weeks
26:01while he recovers from his bite.
26:03But if you feel in any way uncomfortable about that...
26:05No, I think that's a nice thing to do.
26:08And if he's your boyfriend, then...
26:09Yeah.
26:10So you're sure that you definitely don't mind
26:12and you don't want me to ask him to go?
26:15Because just saying,
26:15I could easily break up with him.
26:17No, he's all right.
26:18Yeah.
26:18And he'll probably give us money, so...
26:20Yeah.
26:21Right.
26:21Hey, boys!
26:22Come and say goodbye!
26:26Stay strong.
26:28You're a legend.
26:30A good man.
26:32Spend it wisely.
26:32I'm proud of all of you boys!
26:36I appreciate it.
26:36No, really, that's OK.
26:39Georgie!
26:40Come on, we're going!
26:42Bye.
26:43Bye.
26:44Yeah, wait a minute.
26:45Bye.
26:47I hate you for making me leave!
26:49Right, Johannes.
26:53Don't forget your aftershave and anti-snoring nasal strips.
26:58Thank you, Bucky.
26:59To your athlete's foot spray.
27:01Ah, yeah.
27:01It really flared up under my bandage,
27:03but I guess if you get a fungus hot and damp,
27:05you're going to have issues, eh?
27:08I'm not going to miss sharing a bathroom with four people.
27:11I'm really going to miss you.
27:14Oh, I'm going to miss you too!
27:16If you will live on the other side of London.
27:19Actually, Amanda, I got you a little surprise.
27:21Oh.
27:22As a thank you for looking after me
27:24while I was recovering from my war wound.
27:26To be honest, it was a snake bite.
27:27The snake went to war with me, Amanda.
27:29It wanted me dead.
27:32Ta-da!
27:36Oh, my God, Johannes!
27:39Yeah, it's a hybrid, like us.
27:41Because I love petrol and you love electric.
27:43And look, look, look.
27:44It's got a personalised number plate.
27:48It says sensuous.
27:50Yeah, it does.
27:52But my business is senuous.
27:54I don't see what you're saying.
27:55I don't want to be difficult,
27:56but it's got too many fives.
27:58It should be 5-E-N-U-0-U-5.
28:01Well, you have to disguise some of the letters as numbers.
28:03No, I know that's sweet up,
28:04but you've done 5-E-N-5-U-0-U-5,
28:07and it should be 5-E-N-U-0-U-5.
28:09Amanda, I'm confused.
28:11Do you want the car or not?
28:12Yes, I do!
28:13I love it, I love it, I love it!
28:16Oh, no!
28:17Oh, no!
28:19Oh, no!
28:20You know when people say
28:26it's like watching a car crash in slow motion,
28:29this is what they mean.
28:30Ioannis bought her that.
28:32Apart from the fact I'm a massive lesbian,
28:34I do not understand what she sees
28:36in that huge plate of gammon.
28:37Yeah, I think we're all rooting for the snake.
28:41Hey-oh, here she comes.
28:44What's with the wristbands?
28:45I don't know.
28:47RSI, too much texting?
28:48Nice wheels, Amanda.
28:49Yeah, a little thank you from Ioannis
28:51for being his sexy Florence Nightingale.
28:53Christ, no one ever tell him
28:54they're going right for a nurse.
28:55What's the price tag on that thing?
28:57Well, I didn't ask and I don't care.
28:59It's a very lovely gift.
29:03Diego.
29:04Night, you hate grand.
29:05Fee!
29:07I said I didn't care.
29:09Is it six figures with a sunroof yet?
29:12Hi!
29:13Hey, hey!
29:13Hey, Anne!
29:14Great news, you guys!
29:16Bear Keller says they'll do us a keg of hoppy seconds
29:19at cost.
29:21Oh, yeah!
29:22Nice one, eh?
29:23Oh, we're just trying to organise
29:24the end-of-season awards party for the club.
29:26Yeah, last year was such a blast.
29:27We're going for the same again.
29:28So, keg of beer, a bit of a barbecue,
29:31Mal and Ned's famous disco.
29:32Oh, Anne, no, come on.
29:34Surely we can aim it a little higher than that.
29:35That's all the subs will cover, sadly.
29:38We're not exactly Tottenham's hot spur.
29:39How are you a coach?
29:42Well, if it's a money issue,
29:45we might be able to lend a hand.
29:47The royal we?
29:48Johannes and I.
29:49If you don't mind making a little donation,
29:51we wouldn't say no to some cav and a bucket of Haribo.
29:54And that's not how you spend money.
29:56Hi!
29:57Hush, wife!
29:58You blocked me in!
29:59It's fine.
30:00Sensuous, move it, or I'll slap your tyres!
30:03Actually, I'm going to move it.
30:05It's actually Sensuous, the middle S is a five!
30:16Mummy, I'm mid-collab.
30:18I know.
30:19I'm actually in the market for, um, a fizzy tab.
30:22You've got a fizzy tab.
30:24Look, if you're bored,
30:24why don't you give Fia a call, see if she's around?
30:26I'm not bored.
30:27I'm just thinking of you,
30:29cooped up in your showroom.
30:30And I was thinking, you know,
30:32you're looking a bit...
30:33Thin?
30:33Tired.
30:34You've got bags under your eyes.
30:35No, I'm fine.
30:36Amanda!
30:37Kate, I've got to go, Mummy.
30:39Yes?
30:41Amanda, can you do a delivery for me to East London?
30:43Do I look like a postman, Daniel?
30:45Look, it's 500 quid's worth of taps.
30:47They've asked for you by name.
30:48Who orders 500 pounds worth of taps?
30:54Ah!
30:55Ah!
30:56Ah!
30:57Ah!
30:57Ah!
30:57Ah!
30:58Ah!
30:58Ah!
30:58Ah!
31:00Ah, man!
31:02Worth every penny.
31:04The taps.
31:04I'm talking about the taps.
31:06Johannes!
31:06I just miss this so much.
31:12Listen, Johannes,
31:13I was wondering if you thought it'd be fun to sponsor the Kids Football Awards this year.
31:19Just because it's such a deprived area.
31:22And...
31:22Yeah, sure.
31:24Really?
31:25Yeah.
31:25Oh!
31:27Well, they'll be thrilled.
31:30Could be a nice little, uh, send-off.
31:32A what?
31:33Well, I've been thinking about your living situation and, uh...
31:36Oh, my God!
31:44This has bought me a house!
31:46Oh, my God!
31:49I haven't bought you a house, Amanda.
31:50I'd only just bought you a car!
31:53Oh!
31:53Greedy birdie.
31:54Now, these are the keys to this place.
31:56I thought you and the kids might like to move in.
31:58Oh!
31:59There's tons of space.
32:00Got a bathroom each.
32:02The guy upstairs lives in Singapore,
32:03and the guy downstairs had his assets frozen.
32:06So talk about quiet.
32:07Yeah!
32:08And look at the view.
32:10You know we get seals here.
32:11What about the kids' schools?
32:13Ah, I'll just pay for St. Anthony's.
32:15It's much better than the dump they're at now.
32:17God!
32:18That's so kind!
32:21Can I think about it?
32:23Yeah, of course.
32:24It's a big step.
32:24Yes!
32:25For both of us.
32:25Yeah!
32:26Fifty years of Bachelor,
32:27I'm throwing my keys around willy-nilly.
32:29What have you done to me, Amanda?
32:31Lost my bloody mind!
32:33Yeah, let's...
32:33Can we...
32:34Let's not say anything to the kids just yet,
32:36just...
32:36Cos, like, I need to find the right time
32:38to talk to them about it.
32:39Anything from the lady.
32:44Oh, hey, hey, hey!
32:45Look, look, look, look!
32:46Look, look, I'll see him!
32:47Oh, wow!
32:48Look at that little fella!
32:49Oh!
32:51Oh, wait, wait.
32:52No, it's a...
32:53It's a tyre.
32:54Oh.
32:59Yeah, so we'll just...
33:01Wait a couple more minutes
33:02until we have everyone in then.
33:03Sorry I'm late!
33:05I'm sorry.
33:05My day at my co-lab.
33:07Put your pen.
33:07Sorry, my day.
33:08I'll get us your way.
33:10Okay!
33:11Let's get started.
33:13Great.
33:13Okay!
33:15Yeah, so I think you all know Amanda,
33:17who has very kindly offered
33:18to sponsor this year's event.
33:20Namaste, guys.
33:21Just glad we can give something back.
33:23So I think we can all agree
33:24that, like, last year's party
33:26was pretty awesome.
33:27So as the old saying goes,
33:29you know,
33:29if it ain't broke,
33:30don't go tinkering with the original.
33:31I just think we've had
33:32a terrific year as a club
33:34and it's time
33:35we had a bit more pride in ourselves.
33:37You know, we could, like,
33:38part the barbecue,
33:39get a caterer in.
33:40Oh, I could do my sausage rolls
33:41because there ain't no party
33:43like an Anne's sausage party.
33:44No, thank you, Anne.
33:45No.
33:45We are getting professionals in.
33:47Can you see if the people
33:48who did my 40th birthday
33:49are available?
33:49Ed, they've gone out of business.
33:51In a year?
33:52Well,
33:53that was actually five years ago
33:54because you're 40.
33:54I'm thinking photo booth,
33:57a churus machine,
33:58um,
33:59I'm spitballing here, guys.
34:01Uh, mixologist.
34:02Oh.
34:02Professional DJ.
34:03Oh, whoa, whoa, come on.
34:04The only reason I got involved
34:05with any of this football shit
34:07is so me and Ned
34:07can DJ the party.
34:09Okay, Mal, sure.
34:10Though,
34:11it isn't all about you.
34:14Can I just get some plain old cava?
34:16Like, I'm not great
34:17with the cocktails.
34:18It mixes together fine
34:19in the metal thingy,
34:19but once it hits my colon,
34:20it's like the Rapids
34:21and Centreperts.
34:22Fine, we'll get some cava.
34:24Great.
34:25Yeah.
34:25Well, that's sorted then.
34:26I will call my friend at Bluebird
34:28and get him started
34:29on the cocktail design.
34:30And, uh,
34:30you call the churus people.
34:32That was a really brilliant idea.
34:34Yeah.
34:34Yeah.
34:35Yeah.
34:35It's great to see her
34:39back to her old self.
34:40She's had a bit of a crappy year,
34:42so maybe just let her
34:43have this one thing.
34:44That's what they said
34:45about Poland.
34:52Mika to the left.
34:53No, you are the left.
34:55Actually, sorry.
34:55No, I was right.
34:56To the left.
34:57See, right, right.
34:59Yeah.
34:59No, I didn't know the cava.
35:01Stuff tastes like fizzy piss.
35:03You'll have to send it back
35:04and knock it off the bill, yeah?
35:05Yeah, that's it.
35:06That's it.
35:07That's it.
35:07Just put it just there.
35:08Would you look at this?
35:09It's like the New York Met Gala in here.
35:11That's two different things, Anne,
35:12but, uh, yeah.
35:14Love the banner.
35:15Mmm.
35:15Johanna's got that printed.
35:16Such a nice thought.
35:17Look, I know you said not to Amanda,
35:19but I made some of my famous sausage rolls,
35:20just in case.
35:21They're not famous, Anne.
35:23They are in my house.
35:24Yes, that's not what famous means.
35:25Leave the catering to the caterers, shall we?
35:28Okay, everyone.
35:29All hands on deck.
35:30Oh, yeah!
35:36Sorry, uh, what does an offside mule have in it?
35:40It's a Moscow mule.
35:41Oh, that's very good.
35:43And the, um, the pina red carda?
35:45It's a pina colada.
35:46Oh, that's very clever.
35:48Hey.
35:50Blah.
35:51Well, someone's on it.
35:53I have to tell Fee the business is going under.
35:56What, hey?
35:58Yep.
35:59Safety in numbers.
36:00And coming out to my parents taught me
36:02that I require a very specific amount of alcohol
36:04before I reach a place of complete honesty.
36:06What's the amount?
36:07Oh, it's a very delicate balance.
36:09The trick is to stop just south of vomiting.
36:13Mmm.
36:14Did you just add on a cocktail?
36:15Oh, no.
36:16Can I please have a glass of kava?
36:17We haven't got kava.
36:18What?
36:19Okay.
36:20Could I get a Soha Moha
36:22and a Golden Baller for Mr. Vanderveld, please?
36:25Amanda, you forgot my kava.
36:27Yes, Johanna sent it back.
36:29He says it's not a proper drink, Anne.
36:31It's just Spain pretending to be France.
36:33Have something else.
36:33Come on, be adventurous.
36:35One for you.
36:35Just a beer, please.
36:36Sorry, we haven't got beer tonight.
36:37It's just cocktails.
36:38The Aussie guy said so.
36:39How you doing?
36:39Welcome.
36:40This must be your beautiful wife or girlfriend.
36:41Yeah.
36:42Oh, yeah, because football fans famously hate beer.
36:45Come on.
36:45You can have your tinnies in your cheap bubbles any time.
36:47Let's keep it classy for one night.
36:49I'm trying to raise the bar here.
36:51Literally.
36:52Thank you, Jude.
36:55Oh, Mummy, look at you.
37:04So, are you staying?
37:05Well, the kids have actually begged me
37:07and so I jiggled a few things around in the diary.
37:09Oh, that's great.
37:10Georgie, take the wristband off.
37:11You look like Andy Murray.
37:12I like it.
37:13It's cool.
37:13It doesn't go with the dress, darling.
37:15Well, neither did your plaid shirts and chokers.
37:17Will you let it go?
37:17Actually, Mummy, I'm glad I've got you.
37:19What, generally?
37:20I don't say anything to the kids, but Johannes has asked us to move into his place in Wapping.
37:27Well, that's a very kind offer.
37:28Yeah.
37:29He's so generous.
37:31And he worships me.
37:33But I don't know if it feels like things are moving too fast or...
37:36Well, sometimes you have to move fast, don't you?
37:38I mean, you're not getting any younger.
37:40Well, none of us are.
37:42I think my dermatologist would disagree.
37:44Look, I know I pretended to like this place.
37:46You haven't.
37:48Wapping is the new Holland Park.
37:50I'm so excited.
37:52Good for you, darling.
37:53Thank you, Mummy.
37:55Oh, it's starting.
37:56Get yourself a drink.
37:57Good evening, everyone.
37:58Thank you so much for coming.
38:00We've got lots to get through this evening.
38:01Lots of awards to give out.
38:02Could I have a girl-fashioned without the bitters or the soda water?
38:06That's just a whiskey.
38:07Yeah, three of those.
38:08In one glass.
38:09Well, it's been a very positive season for the under-11s.
38:13Our unbeaten record in 10 of our 18 games.
38:16Thanks.
38:20Guys, what the hell's in that?
38:21Oh, that might be mine.
38:25Oh, my God, is that a tattoo?
38:27It's just pen, chill.
38:28Pen my home.
38:29That is a prison tattoo.
38:30Have you seen that?
38:31It's not a big deal.
38:32Please tell me Georgie hasn't got one.
38:34Yeah, of course.
38:35We're best mates.
38:35We're best mates.
38:36Please put your hands together.
38:39Georgie.
38:41Come on, Georgie.
38:43Come on, Georgie.
38:46And now for the most improved award.
38:49The award for the most improved player.
38:52The most improved player joined us at the beginning of the season
38:55and has quickly become an absolute linchpin of the team.
38:59I can't wait to see what she does next season.
39:01So let's put our hands together for Georgie Hughes.
39:05Oh, my God!
39:08Georgie!
39:10Yay!
39:11You are so amazing!
39:14Woo, woo, woo, woo!
39:15This is my own creation.
39:17I call it the Van Der Velde Slammer.
39:19Georgie's off.
39:20You guys, sit down.
39:21Please, sit down.
39:22Thank you, Georgie!
39:23Well done, Georgie.
39:25Yay!
39:25Our next is the under-15s category.
39:27I didn't get my picture.
39:28Sophie Webster.
39:29Come up and collect the award for Player of the Year.
39:33Yay!
39:33Yay!
39:33Yay!
39:34Yay!
39:34Yay!
39:34Yay!
39:34Yay!
39:35Yay!
39:35Yay!
39:35Yay!
39:36Yay!
39:36Yay!
39:37Yay!
39:37Yay!
39:38Yay!
39:38Yay!
39:39Yay!
39:39Yay!
39:40Yay!
39:40Yay!
39:41Please welcome our Club Secretary and...
39:44Let's be pleased, a huge thank you to our sponsors.
39:52Ah, you're welcome!
39:54Dick.
39:54Without whose generosity tonight would be so different.
39:59A great big round of applause for Amanda.
40:03Yes!
40:04Come on, lady.
40:05Come on, come on.
40:06Come on, bitch!
40:08There she is.
40:09All right, my baby!
40:11Woo!
40:12Thanks, everyone.
40:13Wow!
40:14That is a lot of dupery goodness.
40:18Thank you, of course, to Anne for...
40:22Thanks, Anne.
40:27So, on behalf of the Vandervelde Senuous Foundation,
40:32I just want to say what a privilege it is to support the little guys,
40:36you know, because, um, we might be up here, but we never forget about down there.
40:45So, um, have a great evening and enjoy the party.
40:48All right, baby!
40:50That's my answer!
40:54Hey!
40:55Hey!
40:55Hey!
40:55Listen, I was wondering, could you play me a little bit of Rick Astley?
41:10I don't think I have any!
41:11Well, maybe you could just plug your phone in or something.
41:14I'm more of a vinyl guy, you know?
41:16Old school DJ.
41:17Yeah.
41:17Well, maybe you could make an exception, seeing as I'm paying for all this.
41:23Yeah.
41:24Right, I'll, uh...
41:25I'll stick it on after this for you.
41:28Rick Astley, yeah?
41:29Rick Astley, yeah.
41:32What does she see in that dickhead?
41:34Oh, you know, she seems happy and I think she's really into him.
41:37I don't know about you, but I can't drink another crossbar, Gerita.
41:40I'm going to sneak out, get some beers.
41:43Anyone want anything?
41:44Oh, now you're talking my language.
41:47No, we can't, because Amanda will kill us.
41:50She wants everything all fancy in here.
41:51Well, you can't drink it in here.
41:53There's always the shipping container at the back.
41:55Yes, mate.
41:56Cava, two bottles, I'll have money.
41:59Woo!
42:02Oh, dear!
42:06Sweetheart, come on.
42:08It'll be late when the beckons do it.
42:09Here.
42:10No.
42:11Okay, well, just take the wristband off.
42:12No, it's cool.
42:13Just for the photo, you won't want to look back on yourself in sports schedule.
42:17Okay, there we go.
42:18There we go.
42:19Sweetheart like this.
42:20Like this.
42:20Hands like this.
42:21There we go.
42:22OMG, is that a tattoo?
42:24No.
42:25Only a little one.
42:27Me and Morten did them to each other.
42:28Why would you do that?
42:29Because we're best mates.
42:30No, you're not.
42:31You're two kids who ended up in the same class for a bit.
42:34You're going to look at that scab of hepatitis in a few years
42:37and you're going to say, what was I thinking?
42:38No, I won't.
42:39You will, Georgie.
42:40I don't know anyone from when I was your age.
42:43What does that tell you?
42:44That nobody likes you.
42:51There she is.
42:52I'll get you a glass, lad.
43:06Cheers!
43:07I just want to tell you what I'm feeling.
43:12Gotta make you understand.
43:14Never gonna give you up.
43:16Never gonna let you down.
43:18Someone needs to be filming this.
43:22Where's Anne?
43:23Can I say you look insanely hot tonight.
43:26I sent like five photos of you to my rugby mate's WhatsApp group
43:29and they all agree you're a stunk old ten.
43:31The place looks great.
43:33You've really polished a turd.
43:34Speaking of which, there's a great new sports centre in Wapping.
43:38I know.
43:39No pressure.
43:42Yeah, can I get like an empty wine glass, please?
43:45There you are.
43:46I've been looking for you guys.
43:48Hey!
43:48Um, let's just get some ice.
43:52Ooh!
43:53Hot.
43:54Work.
43:54Spinning the old ones and twos.
43:56Have you seen everyone?
43:57Where's Anne?
43:57We've got to get the Hong Kong photo booth.
43:59Yeah!
44:00Come on.
44:00I'm not so well now.
44:01It was so good.
44:03You know.
44:04Well, you need them.
44:07Come on.
44:08Upstairs, downstairs.
44:14It's such a fun party, isn't it?
44:15Oh, it's so fun.
44:17Oh, he's so generous, isn't he?
44:21Johannes.
44:22Yeah, he really knows how to spend money on things.
44:26Yeah.
44:27You ready?
44:28Yeah.
44:29Mm-hmm.
44:35Do you remember the thing you said in the hospital?
44:37About me being too good for Johannes?
44:42I don't remember saying anything.
44:44I, uh, I've just taken an ecstasy by accident.
44:48Oh.
44:48Kind of.
44:49And, uh, I should, um...
44:51Yeah, yeah, no, I...
44:52Oh, that really does taste like cappuccino.
44:59I just hate the way she talks to me like I'm a kid.
45:03Yeah, I know, babe.
45:03She's really annoying, isn't she?
45:05Oh.
45:07What's up, sweetheart?
45:08Mum's pissed off because me and Morton got, like, the tiniest tattoo.
45:12Like she can talk.
45:14What?
45:14Look, I think it's really lovely to have a little memento.
45:18A little something to remember, um...
45:20Morton.
45:20Morton by.
45:21At your new school.
45:22New school?
45:24What?
45:24Oh, whoops.
45:25Gengen, what's going on?
45:27No, it's not for me to say.
45:32Hey, guys.
45:33Dope fits, for real.
45:35Um, have any of you guys seen Morton's mum or your mum, Darius?
45:39Not for a bit, actually.
45:40Sorry.
45:40Okay, cool, cool.
45:41Gucci.
45:42Um, well, enjoy yourselves, yeah?
45:44Gucci?
45:47Anne?
45:49Guys?
45:49She's not going to do that.
45:55What's she doing?
45:56What's she doing?
45:57What's she doing?
45:58Shit.
45:59It's Amanda.
46:00Just shh.
46:02I feel like I'm in The Walking Dead.
46:05What are you doing in here?
46:12Why aren't you at my party?
46:14It's not your party, doll.
46:15It's the club's party.
46:17Hey, yeah, I'm just not very cocktails and canopies.
46:21Canopies.
46:22Exactly, see?
46:23I don't even know that.
46:24And in fairness, we did say we wanted something a bit more low-key.
46:30Great.
46:31At least we know where we all stand.
46:33And next year you can have your trough of lager and your scotch shakes, because I won't be here.
46:37Don't be like that.
46:37No, I won't be here.
46:39I'm moving to Wapping with Johannes.
46:42What?
46:44No, you're not.
46:45You can't move to Wapping.
46:46What about everything here?
46:49Please, Anne, this was always a stock-up.
46:50I do not belong in South Halston.
46:51I should be among people who would appreciate this party.
46:54I'm a canapé person, Anne.
46:56And I refuse to spend my life amongst sausage rolls.
47:07Hot.
47:07Fucking hot.
47:08Johannes.
47:12Yes.
47:12Yes, Wapping.
47:14Yes, I will move to Wapping with you.
47:16Oh, you...
47:17You will...
47:18Oh, my God!
47:21I'm so fucking happy!
47:23I love this woman!
47:24I bloody love this woman!
47:26I'm going to call my mother.
47:31She'll be so relieved!
47:39Um, coming back inside, Anne?
47:42Uh, yeah.
47:43I can't go in there.
47:46I don't want to see her.
47:48Would you tell Darius I'll be waiting outside?
47:51Yeah, of course.
47:51Oh, my God!
47:57I hate that!
47:58It's not fair!
47:59She's already made us move school once.
48:01I just love it here.
48:02Come on, girls.
48:04Are you okay?
48:08What's wrong?
48:09My gang-gun said Mum's moving us to Wapping,
48:12and I don't want to go.
48:13It sucks.
48:15But your Mammy loves you,
48:16and she wouldn't be doing this
48:17unless she thought it was good for you.
48:19And sometimes in life,
48:22we have to do things that people don't like.
48:24Because in the long run,
48:26it's the right thing to do.
48:30Even if people might hate you for a bit.
48:32For God's sake!
48:47That's miles away!
48:48Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.
49:02If I could just get a minute of your time, please.
49:04To be honest, I can do,
49:06because I paid for all this.
49:08Um, Amanda!
49:10Where's Amanda?
49:13Amanda?
49:14Amanda?
49:15Amanda!
49:16There she is.
49:17Amanda, come up, girl.
49:18Come up.
49:20Come up here, baby.
49:24What's going on?
49:26Now, I know we haven't known each other
49:28for very long at all,
49:29but when you've had a near-death experience
49:32like I had recently,
49:35it makes you realise
49:37what's important about life.
49:40So?
49:44What have you done to me?
49:46I'll hardly ever do this.
49:49What are you going to do?
49:50Amanda?
49:50Yes?
49:51Would you do me the honour
49:52of becoming my wife?
49:54Don't do it, Amanda!
50:04Anne?
50:05No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
50:06Absolutely not!
50:07The fuck?
50:07You can't marry him.
50:08What?
50:09I know you don't want to hear this,
50:10because he's rich,
50:11and he has a nice flat.
50:13It's a penthouse.
50:14It's a penthouse.
50:14But as your best friend,
50:15it is my duty
50:16to tell you things
50:17that you might not want to hear.
50:18And I'm telling you this right now.
50:19You cannot marry him.
50:22You're too good for him.
50:22You're not my best friend, Anne.
50:27Yes, I am.
50:27No, you're not.
50:28My best friend is called Elizabeth,
50:30and she lives in Canada.
50:31She was my maid of honour.
50:32Well,
50:34I don't see her here now, Amanda.
50:36Stopping you from making
50:37the biggest mistake of your life.
50:40We are best friends,
50:41whether you liked or not.
50:43And that's how I know
50:43you don't love him.
50:44And don't go telling me,
50:45oh, he makes me happy,
50:46because you have half a sausage roll
50:47on your chin.
50:48And if you eating carbs
50:49isn't a cry for help,
50:50then I don't know what is.
50:52So please.
50:53Don't marry this dick.
50:54And don't leave Soha.
50:56For the love of God.
51:00Right.
51:00Well, if the drunk lady's
51:01finished with her floor show,
51:03then, uh...
51:03I'm not even drunk.
51:05Thanks to you.
51:05Well, if this is you sober, madam,
51:07then you are an embarrassment.
51:09Hey.
51:11Don't talk to her like that.
51:12Okay.
51:13Okay.
51:13Look, I'll make it
51:14really simple for you, right?
51:16You know the life
51:17I can give you.
51:18Now, do you want that life?
51:19Or would you rather stop here,
51:22drinking shit wine
51:23in the ass end of nowhere?
51:30Here you go, darling.
51:33You know what, Amanda?
51:35All the best!
51:36I know.
51:42He closed the tab.
51:43I had to go to something called
51:44a Londis.
51:47I would have said yes.
51:48But look where that gets you.
51:53I'm so proud of you, darling.
52:00Your mascara smudged.
52:02Can't drink this filth.
52:05I'm sure I saw a bottle
52:06of peach snaps in there.
52:13I need to talk to you right now.
52:16Oh, okay.
52:17Should we?
52:17No, no, no.
52:18Right now.
52:22Okay, what the fuck is...
52:23We're screwed.
52:24I borrowed too much
52:25for double chin
52:25and it's taken out both shins.
52:27I've tried everything
52:29but the numbers
52:30just don't add up.
52:35So, yeah.
52:36We're screwed.
52:38Good.
52:39What?
52:40I've barely seen your smile
52:41in the last two years.
52:42In fact, I've barely seen you
52:44in the last two years.
52:46No, I want all the success
52:47in the world for you, darling,
52:48but if it's not making you happy
52:51and this means that I might get you back
52:53and...
52:54just let it go.
52:58We'll be okay.
53:00I can just start selling my ceramic pots.
53:02I just wanted to say, um...
53:11Your sausage rolls are actually delicious.
53:17I know.
53:17She's right, you know.
53:25Well, no, Elizabeth was my best friend
53:28but with the distance
53:29we sort of...
53:29No, not that.
53:32You are too good for him.
53:34You coming, big man?
53:35Yep.
53:37Ned!
53:39There is space in the potmobile
53:41if you want to live back to my house.
53:42My house!
53:44Well, I'm 34,
53:45you're 34A, so, uh...
53:47Mummy, kids, come on.
53:49We're going home.
53:50Mum, have you got a tattoo?
53:54What?
53:55I didn't tell her.
53:58Well, thanks a lot, Mummy.
53:59I didn't tell her.
54:00I didn't tell her.
54:00I didn't tell her.
54:01I didn't tell her.
54:01I didn't tell her.
54:02I didn't tell her.
54:02I didn't tell her.
54:03I didn't tell her.
54:03I didn't tell her.
54:04I didn't tell her.
54:04I didn't tell her.
54:05I didn't tell her.
54:05I didn't tell her.
54:06I didn't tell her.
54:06I didn't tell her.
54:07I didn't tell her.
54:07I didn't tell her.
54:08I didn't tell her.
54:08I didn't tell her.
54:09I didn't tell her.
54:09I didn't tell her.
54:10I didn't tell her.
54:11I didn't tell her.
54:12I didn't tell her.
54:13I didn't tell her.
54:14I didn't tell her.
54:15I didn't tell her.
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