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Baylen Out Loud Season 2 Episode 08 Saddle Up EnglishMovie cdrama drama engsub chinesedramaengsub movieshortfull
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00:00I mean, yeah, because like, like when I'm up in the big leagues in the MLB,
00:06they got to see this glorious face.
00:08My jawline got to be perfect, you know?
00:15I really want to get in shape before the wedding.
00:18I've gained 18 pounds that I cannot lose.
00:22Find a class that you want to do.
00:24I'll do it with you.
00:27What?
00:30We're riding horse heads on a stick.
00:34Try to look up, right? Don't look at the horse.
00:37Ride the horse.
00:40Yeehaw.
00:43So what's the latest with couples counseling?
00:45We're in therapy right now discussing dad.
00:48Why are you discussing dad?
00:49Colin really wants a relationship with dad, and he's scared.
00:54It has been a little bit surprising to find out that they have been talking
00:57about Colin and Alan's relationship.
01:02Like, a medical plan is the number one thing when it comes to jobs.
01:06It's not like, what do I want to do, because I think it's fun and cool.
01:10We still need to have that conversation with your father.
01:14I think it's really important for there to be boundaries.
01:18You just don't want to hear, you should do this job.
01:21I'm going to make whatever decision I'm going to make,
01:23and I don't care what anybody else has to say.
01:26I told your dad.
01:28A little bit of what you said to me.
01:29Yeah, where am I at in therapy?
01:33Uh, so...
01:50Speaking of therapy...
01:52Where are we at?
01:53What do I got to do?
01:53As we talked about in therapy, me and Colin need to set these boundaries for us.
02:01But I'm terrified that my parents will take it as a rejection.
02:05This is why I hate confrontation, because it feels like there's so much to lose.
02:12But seriously, what's the deal?
02:14Like, where am I at?
02:14There's no deal.
02:15I'm here to discuss setting some boundaries,
02:24especially around my career after the military.
02:28I do understand the reasoning on why they keep pushing for a staple job with good health care.
02:34Nah.
02:35But with that said,
02:37I also want to be able to choose a career that ultimately makes me happy
02:43and also still be able to provide for me and my family.
02:52Uh, so...
02:53In therapy, we were talking about stressors and things like that in life.
02:59And...
03:00For the past, like, four months, I've been, like, really stressed about
03:05what am I going to do if I get out of the military?
03:07Knowing that, like, whatever decision that I make is not only affecting me,
03:13but her and potentially our future family.
03:17So, it's just, like, a lot of weight on my shoulders.
03:20And I know that you feel very, like, strongly about, like, health care
03:25and, like, making sure that I have a really good health care program
03:28with whatever job that I choose.
03:30And that made it super difficult to, like, try and come to a decision
03:38on what I wanted to do
03:40because I really have decided to go in the direction of real estate.
03:52And they don't really offer health care benefits.
03:56When I hear that Colin wants to go into real estate,
04:09my first impression is, has he ever sold anything?
04:13Are you a salesman?
04:15I don't think it's the most stable
04:17in terms of income and steady income and things like that.
04:21For Balin and Colin, my biggest concern is medical insurance.
04:26She's on our plan for a time being,
04:32and that doesn't last very long.
04:34Balin has a lot of medical needs,
04:36and we don't know if those will dissipate anytime soon.
04:40There are ways that we can still have health care
04:43and good health care benefits,
04:44but it's just really where I see myself being the happiest
04:48and something that I can be really successful in.
04:51And I'm just hoping you guys can still respect that decision.
04:57So, that's really it.
05:03All right.
05:04Well, I'll give you my spiel.
05:07My best answer is, like, have a plan.
05:10Say to yourself,
05:10I'm going to work on this for this long,
05:13and if I don't make what I want,
05:15I don't know how much longer I'm going to work towards it.
05:18Right?
05:20My opinion would be,
05:21have a set amount that you need to make in a year.
05:24Like, this is the minimum I am willing to make
05:27so that it doesn't put too much stress on Balin
05:30and what she has to do and for her health.
05:33Like, either I can feed the kids or I can't.
05:37It's one or the other.
05:42Julie and I get it.
05:43Like, we want you to be happy,
05:46but things change in relationships.
05:48Things change in your life.
05:50And we want you to be kind of prepared,
05:53have a plan,
05:54understand what the future can bring you.
05:57And in case real estate doesn't take off
06:00in a few months or whatever their time frame is,
06:02we would feel a lot more comfortable
06:04if they had a solid backup plan.
06:06Real estate might be a struggle.
06:10Getting calls and getting up
06:11and showing people houses
06:12and learning about when's the last time the roof was done
06:16and answering hundreds of questions
06:17about structures and homes and HOA fees and all.
06:21You might be like,
06:23oh, I didn't know it was going to be like this.
06:27It's a long road to that dead end.
06:29And by the time people realize that it's a dead end,
06:32they've wasted half their life
06:34and they're trying to go back
06:35and they need to run out of time.
06:37So all the great, wonderful, happiness dreams of whatever,
06:40they're in the cemetery.
06:41Their names are written on tombstones.
06:43So if this doesn't work out,
06:47what are you going to do?
06:51Come up with something that you have
06:52as a backup plan as well.
06:57We came here to be able to set boundaries
06:59and here we are where I'm being told
07:03that I need to have a backup plan for real estate.
07:07And trust me, I get it.
07:09They just want to make sure that she's taken care of.
07:13Take a deck.
07:13But nothing's ever really going to change
07:16if they just can't trust us
07:18to be able to make our own decisions.
07:20Moving forward, like, please, like,
07:23if there's something we can do, Julia and I,
07:25to help you, tell us.
07:27But when you guys go to your therapy sessions,
07:30focus on yourselves.
07:32Forget about me.
07:36All right.
07:36I think it's time to head on back.
07:38Yeah, we have to go get the doggies
07:41and check on the babies.
07:42All right.
07:43Thanks for having us.
07:44I know, but then I feel bad bringing them back.
07:46Whatever you need, all right?
07:48Yeah, I appreciate it.
07:49No worries, all right?
07:50Yeah.
07:52It appeared to me by the end of the night
07:54that they were both pretty receptive
07:56to our thoughts on his career change.
08:01But that could be different
08:03when they get in the car
08:04and they start bouncing ideas.
08:06They're, you know,
08:06everyone's lens is different,
08:08so maybe they just did a good job
08:10holding it together.
08:11I don't know.
08:18After that conversation and everything,
08:20like, how are you feeling?
08:22Regarding, like, my dad,
08:24it doesn't surprise me
08:25that he said a plan.
08:27It's very valid.
08:29Like, I can't be making $30,000
08:32and be expecting us to live off that.
08:37Like, if we ever want to start a family,
08:39we would be paying for health care out of pocket.
08:42It would just be really hard.
08:43It wouldn't, it would be very, very difficult.
08:46Your dad, do I think that
08:48I'm going to still feel pressures from him?
08:52100%.
08:52I know that they probably don't agree with my real estate decision.
08:59I understand where Julie and Alan are coming from.
09:02I know it's not going to be easy,
09:03but it's something that I want to do.
09:08I truly believe that this is what is best for me and for us,
09:11and I don't quite understand
09:14why I need a backup plan
09:16when I don't plan on failing.
09:18For me, I could not go to bed at night
09:22knowing that I didn't provide the best plan forward.
09:27Well, they have to find a balance
09:28with chasing this, like,
09:31this so-called happiness that he says,
09:34which I completely understand.
09:36Happiness is looking in the mirror
09:37and saying to yourself,
09:39I was able to have a paycheck
09:41and work some overtime,
09:43or I got a medical plan,
09:44or I have a life insurance policy,
09:46so if something happens to me,
09:48my significant other isn't going to struggle
09:50with my children in the future.
09:52That's why I try to explain it
09:54in a way where he could understand,
09:56because at first, I thought to myself,
09:59this probably ain't the best decision
10:02I haven't heard in the last five years.
10:05I know for my four boys,
10:06that would be a f***ing hard no.
10:09This career change is a little bit of a gamble.
10:12Oh, 100%.
10:13But Jalen supports it.
10:14She supports him, so we support him.
10:19We really are always towing the line
10:22between being, like, supportive and firm,
10:25but not overstepping.
10:27But for lack of better words,
10:30it would probably be irresponsible
10:32for him to not have a backup plan,
10:34because things are always going to come at you.
10:36That you can't plan for.
10:38So if you have some idea of where you're going to go next,
10:40at least, you know,
10:42it's something to work with,
10:43instead of nothing.
10:44My neurologist gave me a referral
10:53to start exposure response prevention therapy.
10:56Would you want to work on your fear of horses?
11:01What is kind of, like, the goal?
11:04Dick.
11:04We're going to get to a place
11:05where you can ride the horse.
11:07I do not think that I'm going to get on a horse today,
11:10because I'm petrified of horses.
11:12More deep breaths.
11:15Bitch.
11:16Hmm.
11:16You like the pink dog carrier?
11:32No.
11:32Oh, why?
11:34Because none of our dogs want to stay in here.
11:36Fluffy does.
11:37Fluffle Puffle likes it.
11:38But you said, why are we carrying Fluff?
11:40I like it.
11:41You look good in pink.
11:42Yeah.
11:43Thanks for taking me out to dinner
11:45for my birthday last night.
11:48With all the expenses from the wedding coming up
11:50and us trying to save money,
11:53me and Colin decided that I would have my birthday
11:56just between both of us
11:57with a cute little dinner
11:58and a cute family walk with the dogs this morning
12:01with the Fluffle.
12:03Hi, Ken.
12:04Hi, little man.
12:06I'm not taking much today
12:08because the walk is so peaceful and calming
12:11that it just has been helping with my tics.
12:15Do you really think that our dogs
12:17are going to be able to walk up the aisle
12:19at our wedding?
12:19No.
12:20They'll need training.
12:21That's something that we're going to have to talk
12:23to our wedding planner about.
12:25All right.
12:26Serious question.
12:28Who's going to be the best flower girl
12:29out of the two of you?
12:30I'm excited to work with the wedding planner.
12:42We need a lot of help.
12:44We need a lot of direction is what we need.
12:47My parents recommended that we get a wedding planner.
12:50We've been doing a lot of research
12:51and we really liked this person named Shannon.
12:54We're really hoping that the wedding planner
12:56can help us with, one, everything.
12:59The only thing we've gotten done is the venue.
13:02There's food.
13:04There's alcohol.
13:05There's flowers.
13:05There's hair and makeup.
13:06There's transportation for our guests.
13:09There's...
13:09There's a lot, everybody.
13:11There's a lot of things we need to do.
13:12We don't need to list them all.
13:13We have a lot.
13:14Get a horse.
13:16Oh, my God.
13:16Save a horse.
13:17Ride a cowboy, mother...
13:18Ride the horse.
13:22It's so pretty.
13:24It's really pretty.
13:25This walk was a perfect way to work out.
13:27Don't have to touch anything.
13:28Don't have to worry about anybody's germs.
13:31I do feel like working through my fear of germs
13:34is the only way to get through everything, though,
13:37because I don't want to be like this forever.
13:39Like, I do want to be able to go to a gym,
13:41and the only way to go to a gym
13:43is to put myself into a gym.
13:46I've always had OCD,
13:48but recently my OCD has manifested itself
13:51into having a problem with germs,
13:54and touching gym equipment
13:56that's shared with other people
13:57is just too much for me right now.
14:00I feel like I'm at my peak.
14:02I'm at as much as I can take.
14:04I kind of just think that I'm going to get all the germs
14:08and get sick and end up in the hospital
14:11or get sick and even die.
14:14Dr. Flaherty, my neurologist,
14:17gave me a referral to start seeing Dr. Russell,
14:20an ERP therapist.
14:22It's exposure response prevention therapy
14:25for my obsessive-compulsive dick for my OCD.
14:30Exposure therapy.
14:31Yes.
14:31I really want to resolve my fear of germs.
14:35Mm-hmm.
14:35Is there anything you can think of?
14:38Well, I mean,
14:40if I'm going to
14:41want a horse in our wedding,
14:44would you want to work on your fear of horses?
14:50Would you at least
14:51ask if it's something
14:53that you could work on?
14:56Oh.
15:00I mean,
15:01yeah.
15:04Yeah, I can ask her.
15:06It's something that needs to be worked on.
15:09Okay.
15:10Yippee-ki-yay, mother-
15:12I really appreciate
15:16Vaylin being willing to
15:18confront her fear of horses
15:19just for me.
15:21I mean, that...
15:22I'm doing it for me, too.
15:23I'm doing it for me, too.
15:24I mean, I'm just saying
15:25that's a tough thing to do.
15:27Like, I wouldn't be able
15:28to work through one of my fears.
15:29I don't want to be near
15:31the things that I'm afraid of.
15:32Yeah, I know.
15:33Me either.
15:34Me either.
15:34Me either.
15:35Yep.
15:36Pumpkin wants to go in this water so badly.
15:39What if we just, like,
15:40give him a little dip right now?
15:45Come on!
15:46Oh, yeah, he don't like it.
15:47He knows how to swim, though.
15:49You're going to me.
15:50I know you know how to swim.
15:52You're going to sit in bed with me
16:13and do something.
16:15What?
16:15What are you doing?
16:16Hmm.
16:16Come on.
16:17I just want to go over a few things.
16:19The venue stuff.
16:20So I want to just be able
16:22to start writing some things down,
16:24things that are helpful for them,
16:26because I think that they're clueless.
16:28I'm kind of clueless, too.
16:29But I know that they need
16:30to get the show on the road.
16:32And I'll make sure that
16:33the wedding coordinator
16:34knows what she's doing.
16:36We can't be sure that
16:38Bailen and Colin
16:38listened to everything
16:39advice-wise that we give them,
16:41but they did pick out
16:42a wedding planner.
16:43Thankful for that.
16:45Definitely thankful for that.
16:47Right now,
16:47I'm really just making a list
16:49of things that I think
16:50are important for them
16:51to go over with her,
16:53things that maybe
16:54they just wouldn't think of.
16:55So hopefully that they will
16:56be able to use this
16:57as a reference
16:58when they speak with her.
17:00Just listen.
17:01Write food.
17:02Okay, food.
17:02Next to food.
17:03Okay.
17:04Just write desserts.
17:06Okay.
17:07Underneath that,
17:07put transportation.
17:09How many people are staying
17:10local or are traveling?
17:12How are people getting
17:13to your hotel?
17:14Are we ride sharing?
17:15Who's doing the photos?
17:19Is this going to be
17:19random done by iPhone?
17:21Oh, doggies.
17:22Yes, that's a big one.
17:23How, like,
17:24who's watching them
17:25that night when...
17:26That's what I mean.
17:26Where are they going?
17:27When they're trying
17:28to Christian the marriage.
17:29It's just...
17:34Hilarious.
17:36Okay.
17:36F***ing hilarious.
17:38I mixed up the word
17:39a little bit
17:40and made it sound
17:40a little bit more Christ-like.
17:43It's not very Christ-like
17:45to do stuff before marriage,
17:47but everyone's doing stuff,
17:49I guess.
17:49I don't know.
17:50Like...
17:51I think...
17:52I think...
17:53That's...
17:55Moving on,
17:56next question.
17:57I'm thinking, like,
17:58responsibilities of
18:00the bridesmaid and groomsmen.
18:02Like, there's a lot
18:03that Sammy, I think,
18:04has to do
18:04as the maid of honor.
18:06She does all the dress stuff.
18:07And that's kind of a big deal.
18:10I just know it's going to be
18:11a lot for her.
18:13So, we definitely have to
18:15incorporate Sammy.
18:16But...
18:18I don't know.
18:22It's getting harder
18:23for her to come here,
18:24and I think I used to look at it
18:26that it was, like,
18:27the flying.
18:29The flying is a small piece
18:30of the puzzle.
18:31She has...
18:32Honestly, crippling anxiety.
18:36In an ideal world,
18:38Sammy would have a whole ton
18:40to do with the wedding planning,
18:42because that's what
18:43the maid of honor does.
18:44I know Sammy would love
18:45to be super involved,
18:47and she is so detail-oriented.
18:48But it's really just
18:49not realistic.
18:51I can't just drive down the road
18:53and see you, you know?
18:53So it's kind of like
18:54I feel bad
18:55that I can't be here sometimes.
18:57With my anxiety
18:58and OCD
18:58and traveling,
18:59I feel terrible.
19:02Like, I just can't
19:03shut my mind off.
19:04Like, I know she needs us.
19:07Right?
19:07All right.
19:15Her brain, I think,
19:17is exhausted
19:17at the end of each day.
19:20So this just adds to it.
19:23But I know that
19:24she wants to help Valen.
19:26I mean, I don't like
19:27being far from Sammy.
19:31I would just like
19:32to be able to hug her
19:34and help her.
19:37Come on.
19:47What's up?
19:48I'm fine.
19:50Here.
19:52Anxiety and OCD
19:53seems to be
19:55like a common thread.
19:57I see it in Valen
19:59and Sammy,
20:00and we're obviously
20:01keeping a close eye
20:03on Beckner.
20:05Okay.
20:07Mm-hmm.
20:08Yeah, good.
20:10Mm-hmm.
20:12Unfortunately, right now,
20:13it seems like
20:15we need to put
20:15a little bit more attention
20:17into Sammy
20:18because her condition
20:20seems almost
20:22a little bit stronger.
20:24That's our job
20:25as parents,
20:25to keep a watchful eye
20:26on all of our kids.
20:27she's always been
20:30the strong one,
20:31so she just doesn't
20:32like to be vulnerable.
20:33Like, let us do
20:34something to help you.
20:36We can make sure
20:36everything's perfect
20:37for you, too.
20:47Hey.
20:47I don't like horses.
21:04They can throw you off,
21:06they can kick you,
21:07bite you.
21:09Everything about them
21:11is scary to me.
21:12I want to back up.
21:13I don't know
21:15if I can do this.
21:22Okay.
21:27I know one thing
21:29and one thing only.
21:30I've done all my homework
21:31for this.
21:32What was the homework
21:33that Dr. Russell gave you?
21:35I'm supposed to
21:35look at horses,
21:37watch horses,
21:38so all I've been doing
21:40is looking at videos
21:41because we don't really
21:42live close to horses.
21:43The first session
21:44with Dr. Russell
21:45went really, really well.
21:47We kind of went off
21:48of my OCD
21:48and built a hierarchy
21:49for the things
21:51I want to work towards.
21:52So starting with
21:53horse therapy,
21:54we can build off of
21:55go do other things
21:56like germ therapy
21:57that are more complex
21:59than horseback riding.
22:01Tell me a little bit
22:02about how OCD
22:03is controlling your life.
22:05What do you feel like
22:05are the most distressing
22:06parts about OCD for you?
22:08Like, I know germs
22:09because everything
22:10has to be wiped down.
22:11The dishes have to be done.
22:12I will clean the whole house
22:14before I even drink water
22:16in the morning.
22:17What ERP is going to
22:18really ask you to do
22:20is to really confront
22:21your fears.
22:22My other half
22:23is obsessed with horses
22:25and I'm deathly afraid
22:26of horses.
22:27But I'm like,
22:28it's one of the fears
22:29that can be changed.
22:31Yeah, absolutely.
22:32A big part of exposure therapy
22:33is actually getting out
22:35and doing this in public.
22:36I think this is
22:36the right next step.
22:37So today we are meeting up
22:41with Dr. Russell
22:42for my first ERP session
22:44with horses
22:44at a horse ranch
22:45outside of D.C.
22:47My therapist says
22:48you have to walk
22:49before you can run.
22:50Me facing my fear
22:51of horses
22:52and exposure
22:53is me walking.
22:55It's all practice
22:56for when I have to tackle
22:57my bigger fears
22:58and run with germs.
23:00This is how I build up
23:01my tolerance
23:02step by step.
23:02I don't want to say
23:04I'm not going
23:05to enjoy today
23:06but not thrilled.
23:08Not thrilled.
23:11I know you are.
23:13These horses
23:14are going to be real nice.
23:16Mm-hmm.
23:16They'll want to just
23:17lick you.
23:18I don't want to be licked.
23:20So.
23:21Their tongue is massive.
23:23Okay?
23:24Yeah.
23:24If their body's massive
23:25their tongue is massive
23:26and I don't need
23:27that licked on me.
23:28Well that's just
23:29a massive amount of love
23:30that they want to give you.
23:31The worst case scenario
23:34for how this horse
23:35exposure therapy
23:36could go
23:37is that
23:38I don't follow through.
23:41Do you think
23:42that's the worst?
23:43What did you think
23:44the worst case scenario is?
23:47Something
23:47traumatizes you
23:49forever.
23:51Okay.
23:52We don't need to.
23:52Okay.
23:53Okay.
23:54Okay.
23:55Okay.
23:56Oh my God.
23:58I have a pit in my stomach.
23:59I really do.
24:01Okay.
24:13Uh-oh.
24:15We're here.
24:17I'm very anxious
24:18as we're pulling in
24:19and I'm seeing horses.
24:21We're seeing people on horses.
24:22My heart rate
24:23is at at least 250
24:24because I don't like horses
24:26and we're pulling up
24:27literally two seahorses.
24:42Hey.
24:43Hey.
24:46You want a hug?
24:47Yes.
24:47Okay.
24:48Hi.
24:48Nice to see you.
24:49Hi.
24:50Nice to meet you.
24:51Nice to meet you.
24:52So how was the drive-in?
24:54Anxiety driven
24:54but we're here.
24:57I told you I said
24:58the only reason I'm here
24:58is because you're here.
25:00So we're here.
25:01Well I'm here with you.
25:02We're here.
25:03We're going to get this.
25:04As Baylen rolls up today
25:05I'm already noticing
25:06she's feeling pretty anxious.
25:08I can tell she's already
25:09anticipating some of the exposures
25:11we're about to do today.
25:12In my clinical opinion
25:13I think Baylen's OCD
25:14is pretty severe.
25:15However she seems
25:16incredibly motivated
25:17to work on it.
25:19She's being really brave.
25:21We're going to do
25:21the exposure therapy today
25:22with the horses
25:23but we're going to do
25:25one step at a time.
25:27It's going to be challenging.
25:28Okay so we're going to start
25:29with we're just going to
25:31kind of introduce you
25:32to the horses.
25:34I know that you even
25:35just kind of being around them
25:36is scary for you
25:37so we're just going to
25:37kind of look at them
25:39from a distance
25:39and then kind of gradually
25:40get more comfortable
25:42being closer to them
25:43and I'm going to be
25:44checking in with you
25:45with your SUDs.
25:46Do you remember
25:46the 1 through 10 SUDs?
25:48Mm-hmm.
25:49SUDs are subjective units
25:51of distress scale
25:52and it's on a scale
25:53of 1 to 10.
25:551 being really no distress
25:57at all, very calm, relaxed.
25:5910 feeling very distressed,
26:01almost out of control.
26:02Once you kind of
26:03the SUDs level comes down
26:05I can tell they're
26:06a little high right now.
26:07Mm-hmm.
26:07Then we're going to
26:08take the next step
26:09and the next step
26:10and the next step.
26:10So, what is kind of
26:13like the goal?
26:14Where could she like
26:14end up at
26:15by the end of today?
26:16Dick.
26:17We're going to get to a place
26:18where you can ride the horse.
26:20That's the goal.
26:21Today?
26:21Hopefully.
26:23I do not think
26:24that I'm going to get
26:25on a horse today
26:26because I'm petrified
26:27of horses.
26:28They are extremely muscular.
26:30They can throw you off.
26:32They can kick you.
26:33They can bite you.
26:36Just everything about them
26:37is scary to me.
26:41So, exposure one,
26:42underway.
26:44Yes.
26:45Look at them.
26:46Yeah, just look at them.
26:47Meow!
26:50That one's talkative.
26:52Kind of like any animal noise
26:53that I can mock
26:54sets my tics off
26:55because it's just a trigger
26:56that I can't remove.
26:57How are you feeling?
26:58Getting closer?
27:00Hi.
27:00I want to back up.
27:01Okay.
27:02Okay, I think we'll
27:03stay here for now.
27:04This is like
27:07a good distance for you?
27:08Yeah.
27:09Okay, what level
27:09are you feeling?
27:10I want to cry.
27:11Okay, it's okay.
27:12How about we take
27:13a couple steps back?
27:13Okay.
27:14Okay, it's okay.
27:19I'm so overwhelmed.
27:21This is moving
27:22way too fast.
27:24This is all we're doing
27:25right now.
27:26Just this exposure.
27:27Okay?
27:29I don't know
27:30if I can do this.
27:32Deep breaths, okay?
27:33Let's take a few more
27:34deep breaths.
27:37Bitch.
27:38Hmm.
27:52What level
27:52are you feeling?
27:53I want to cry.
27:54Okay, it's okay.
27:55How about we take
27:55a couple steps back?
27:56Okay.
27:57Okay, it's okay.
27:58As Baelin sees
28:02the horses for the
28:03first time, I can see
28:04that she's feeling
28:04a lot more distressed
28:05and I can tell that
28:06it's a little too
28:07overwhelming for her
28:08so we have her back
28:09up to a spot where
28:10she can engage
28:11with the exposure
28:11more.
28:12Okay.
28:12What's your suds
28:13right now?
28:14What number?
28:15Six.
28:15Six?
28:16Mm-hmm.
28:17I'm like,
28:18fine to look at them
28:19but not fine to get
28:20near them.
28:20It's okay.
28:21This is where
28:22we're at right now.
28:24I knew she was
28:25afraid of horses
28:26but I didn't realize
28:28that this is the extent
28:31of how much
28:32she is afraid.
28:33This might be goodbye
28:34to a horse
28:35at the wedding.
28:37Which one do you
28:40like the best?
28:41I'm guessing
28:41the smaller one?
28:42Yeah, the one
28:43with the mohawk.
28:43The mohawk.
28:45Sparky.
28:45And this is Coco.
28:47Sparky and Coco.
28:48Aren't those cute names?
28:49Yeah, those are cute names.
28:50That makes it better.
28:51Mm-hmm.
28:52That makes it better.
28:53The names of the horses
28:54seem to kind of
28:55soothe her a bit.
28:55I can tell that
28:56she's feeling
28:57a little bit more relaxed.
28:58I think it's always surprising
28:59the things that seem
29:00to calm people
29:01in exposures
29:02but this one
29:02makes sense.
29:03She's such an animal lover
29:04so do you want
29:06to take another step?
29:06Yeah.
29:07Okay.
29:11No, we're getting
29:12pretty close.
29:13They're taking steps too.
29:15Hi.
29:16Okay, I think
29:16the next step
29:17would be to hold
29:18your hand out.
29:19Okay?
29:20Woo!
29:21Woo!
29:22Mm-hmm.
29:24Scary.
29:25But we're close enough
29:26that, you know,
29:26they can start petting them.
29:28Despite my fear,
29:29I'm so determined
29:31and motivated
29:31to get through this
29:33and to conquer
29:34my fear of horses.
29:36Where does this one
29:37like to be pet?
29:38On his neck
29:38or on his face
29:39right here.
29:39Right there?
29:40Yeah.
29:41Okay, so I think
29:41the pet's this.
29:42Oh, he thinks you have
29:43a tree because
29:43you're sticking
29:44your hand out.
29:44Oh, my goodness.
29:47Hey, that's okay.
29:48You got it.
29:48You can pet his face right here.
29:49You can pet him right here.
29:52Wow.
29:54Okay.
29:54You got it.
29:56You're doing a good job,
29:57Bailin.
29:59Or you can pet his neck.
30:00Yeah, like right here.
30:00You want to pet right here?
30:02Wow.
30:03Look at you go.
30:04Oh, it sheds.
30:05Yeah, he does.
30:06Oh, yeah.
30:07Oh, yeah.
30:09I like your little mohawk.
30:13I'm very nervous.
30:14However, I'm very proud
30:16of myself that I'm able
30:17to touch the horse
30:18when seconds ago
30:19I wasn't able to.
30:20And I'm just making sure
30:21that I'm not getting bit.
30:26Are you ready
30:27for the next step?
30:29What is it?
30:30Can she lead the horse?
30:31Yeah.
30:32How do I do that?
30:33So you stand
30:33on the left side
30:34and you have your hand,
30:35one hand right here
30:36and then one hand
30:36folding the other side
30:37of the lead rope
30:38so it doesn't drag.
30:39Come on, Sparky.
30:40Come on, Sparky.
30:41Look at you go.
30:42Come on.
30:45If you want to turn him
30:46this way,
30:46you can just walk
30:46your body this way.
30:48That's right.
30:50Oh, we're going
30:50in the grass.
30:51Yes.
30:53I am really surprised
30:55that I'm able
30:55to lead the horse
30:56when short minutes ago
30:58I was not even able
30:59to step forward
31:00to touch the horse.
31:01It gives me comfort
31:02to picture Sparky
31:04as my dog, Fluff.
31:06A real big Fluff.
31:07Meaty Fluff.
31:11A really, really
31:13muscular Fluffle.
31:15So, cleaning the hooves
31:17wherever you want to start.
31:19Dr. Russell's definitely
31:20a taskmaster
31:21with these exposures
31:23and now I'm cleaning hooves.
31:25Hooves.
31:25Hooves.
31:26Hooves.
31:27Hooves.
31:28Hoo-hooves.
31:29Ha-hooves.
31:30Woo-hoo!
31:31Woo-hoo!
31:32Woo-hoo!
31:32Woo-hoo!
31:32Eat a bag of dicks!
31:36Hoo-hoo!
31:36Hoo-hoo!
31:38She's got me
31:38brushing the horse
31:39and I'm also brushing myself
31:41because it's setting off
31:42my tics.
31:43Look at your bum.
31:44Hoo-hoo-hoo!
31:46It feels really nice
31:47to not have something
31:48hold me back
31:49and to just leap over
31:51that wall of fear.
31:52Son of a...
31:53You're looking pretty comfortable.
31:55I think you're ready.
31:58Next up.
31:59Saddle up!
32:00Saddle up!
32:00I did not think
32:02I was going to make it
32:03this far today.
32:05I am petrified
32:07to saddle up
32:08on this horse
32:09and gallop
32:10right now.
32:11No one said
32:12you're galloping.
32:13You just got to get on it.
32:14Yeah.
32:15That's even scarier.
32:25I'm a little bit scared
32:26because I'm petrified
32:27of heights
32:28and being on top
32:29of a horse
32:29just makes me go
32:30right to think
32:30I'm going to fall off
32:31the horse
32:32and I'm going to get hurt.
32:35You got it.
32:36Oh my God.
32:38Here's the reins
32:39if you want to grab them
32:40and you can hold on
32:40to the front of the saddle
32:41if you want to.
32:45Okay.
32:46How are you feeling?
32:47What's your number?
32:48Um, like a 10.
32:50Okay.
32:50Okay.
32:51We're just going to stay here
32:52for a minute.
32:52Okay?
32:52Okay.
32:54And you can relax.
32:55Remember, Balin,
33:05a lot of anxiety
33:06is anticipatory.
33:07It gets better
33:08once you do it.
33:09Okay?
33:13Ready?
33:13Yeah.
33:21Yay, Sparky!
33:24Seeing Balin get on the horse
33:25right now,
33:26it just makes me so happy
33:27because I was going
33:29into the day
33:30thinking that she
33:31was not going to get on it,
33:33was not going to ride it.
33:35She was just going to
33:36maybe at most
33:37pet it.
33:38So seeing her
33:39on that horse,
33:40it really made me happy.
33:42It's a good boy, Sparky.
33:45This is definitely
33:46a lot better.
33:47Okay.
33:49You just need
33:50your last call.
33:56Ride the horse.
34:03I feel free
34:04trotting around
34:04the arena
34:05with the horse.
34:06Probably for other people,
34:07being on a horse
34:08is freeing.
34:08That's not what
34:09was freeing for me.
34:10Freeing to me
34:10was like
34:11being able
34:12to be out of my thoughts
34:13and not being
34:14controlled by them.
34:18So,
34:18what's your size at?
34:20Honestly, low.
34:22Like a three or a four.
34:23Yeah, you got it.
34:25Now that you've
34:25got to ride on one,
34:28you think we could
34:28ride off one
34:29into the sunset
34:30after our wedding?
34:31No.
34:33Okay.
34:34I'm definitely
34:35more comfortable
34:36around horses.
34:37if that should have
34:38been your question.
34:39The vision is
34:40I would love
34:41for me and you
34:41to ride off
34:42into the sunset.
34:43Damn.
34:45Well, you could
34:45ride it with
34:46Floptoot and Punk?
34:46No.
34:47Colin.
34:48No.
34:49Thank you for being
34:50brave, Baylin.
34:51Thank you so much.
34:52I can do hard things.
34:54Okay, you don't need
34:55to, we don't need
34:55to do that.
34:56We don't need that.
34:57But I love you.
34:59Love you too.
34:59Food and dessert
35:04is like very
35:05big for us.
35:06Okay.
35:07Kind of like
35:07a semi-open bar.
35:09I want alpacas.
35:10Alpacas.
35:11A horse.
35:13We need
35:14to manage
35:15expectations.
35:16In thinking
35:17about your budget,
35:18I think you're
35:19not going to love
35:20what I have
35:21to tell you.
35:21I'm excited.
35:47Wedding planners
35:48do this
35:48as their full-time job,
35:50try and figure
35:51out like
35:52what fits
35:53and what doesn't.
35:54Yeah.
35:54Today we are
35:55meeting with
35:55our wedding planner,
35:56Shannon,
35:57for the first time.
35:57We're hoping
35:58to get a better
35:59understanding
35:59of everything
36:00and how far
36:02our budget will go.
36:03I'm very thankful
36:05that my mom
36:05put together
36:06a list of important
36:07things that we need
36:08to discuss
36:08with our wedding planner.
36:10It's a long list.
36:13I woke up
36:14missing horses.
36:15Hey!
36:21Hello!
36:22Hi!
36:23Hi!
36:24How are you guys?
36:25Nice to meet you!
36:27Can I give you a hug?
36:28You sure can!
36:29Nice to meet you!
36:31My name is Shannon
36:32with Shannon Wellington
36:33Weddings and Events.
36:34This is Chris.
36:35We are a wedding
36:36and event design
36:37and planning company
36:38and we've been doing
36:39this for about 15 years now.
36:41Our goal for today
36:42is to learn
36:43all about
36:44Vaylin and Colin
36:45and what their priorities
36:46are for their wedding day.
36:48Tell me more about
36:49your experience
36:50with weddings.
36:51I know when we
36:52had talked briefly,
36:53Vaylin,
36:54you said you don't
36:55have a ton of experience
36:56at being in weddings
36:57or going to weddings.
36:59Nothing.
37:00Okay.
37:01And how about you,
37:01Vaylin?
37:02What's your experience?
37:02Yeah, I've been in
37:03or I've been to a few
37:05but nowhere close
37:07to like knowing
37:08how to plan
37:08for a wedding.
37:09Okay.
37:09Eat a bag of dicks.
37:12While we've never
37:13actually had a bride
37:15or groom
37:15that specifically
37:16had a condition
37:17like Tourette,
37:18many of our brides
37:19and grooms
37:20have anxiety.
37:21They have
37:22their own quirks,
37:23so to say.
37:24So we have to be able
37:26to kind of
37:26roll with it.
37:28Wedding planning
37:28can be overwhelming
37:30and stressful
37:31but it should also
37:32be really fun.
37:34So why don't you guys
37:35tell me about
37:36what venue
37:37you've chosen
37:38because you found
37:39one that you love?
37:41Yes.
37:42It's locked down?
37:43Yes.
37:43Perfect.
37:45We've already put
37:46a wedding deposit
37:47down on our venue.
37:48While the venue expense
37:49has eaten up
37:50a large portion
37:51of our wedding budget,
37:52we still have
37:53high expectations
37:54for the rest
37:54of the wedding
37:55like flowers
37:56and food
37:57and my dress
37:58and colors.
37:59So much fun stuff.
38:00What drew you
38:02to this venue?
38:03The views.
38:04The views.
38:04It's 360.
38:06It's on top
38:07of a mountain.
38:08Okay.
38:09It's in the middle
38:10of nowhere.
38:11Okay.
38:11Is there
38:12like a hotel nearby?
38:14It's about 20 minutes
38:16to a hotel
38:17but we also need
38:18to work into
38:18the budget
38:19chartering buses
38:20because they go
38:21up and down
38:22the mountain
38:22and I would rather
38:23do that
38:23than have anyone
38:24else drive.
38:25I think the location
38:27of the venue
38:28that Bailin and Colin
38:29chose are definitely
38:29going to present
38:30some challenges
38:30in terms of fees.
38:32Travel fees?
38:33Exactly.
38:33Travel fees.
38:34I mean,
38:35if there's not
38:36someone extremely
38:37hyper-local
38:38to the venue
38:39then most vendors
38:40are going to say
38:41okay,
38:41like,
38:42well,
38:42I'm sure
38:43but for this,
38:44you know,
38:44additional price.
38:46What are you
38:46looking forward
38:47to the most?
38:49I think flowers
38:50would be number one.
38:51Okay.
38:51Food would be
38:52number two.
38:53Okay.
38:54Food and dessert
38:55is, like,
38:55very big for us.
38:57Okay.
38:58Anything, like,
38:59fun that you've seen
39:00that you, like,
39:01definitely want?
39:02I want alpacas.
39:04Alpacas.
39:05A horse.
39:07You want to ride
39:08in on a horse?
39:09No, he...
39:09Oh, you want to ride
39:10in on a horse?
39:12As far as
39:13the alcohol goes,
39:14we're thinking
39:15kind of like
39:16a semi-open bar.
39:17Have you guys
39:18ever done a queso fountain?
39:19A queso fountain?
39:23I definitely want
39:24the dogs
39:24in the wedding.
39:25To me,
39:25that's a deal-breaker.
39:26Like, they're
39:27going to be in there
39:28regardless of if
39:29they're walking
39:29or if they're being held.
39:31Our dogs are not
39:31trained at all.
39:33This is in the
39:34hard column.
39:36We need to
39:37manage expectations.
39:40So part of our job
39:41is educating them
39:42so that we can be like,
39:43okay,
39:44this is what reality is.
39:46I feel like the theme
39:47is, like,
39:48we want a lot of food,
39:50a lot of alcohol,
39:52a lot of this,
39:52a lot of that,
39:53um,
39:55in thinking about
39:56your budget.
39:58I think that
39:59it's going to be
40:01a little challenging
40:02to get to the point
40:03where we can have
40:04everything we want.
40:09The moment of truth
40:10is finally here.
40:12What if she tells us
40:13we can't afford
40:13our dream wedding?
40:15I'm definitely worried
40:16that she's bracing us
40:17for some news
40:17we don't want to hear.
40:18I think that
40:22you're not going
40:23to love
40:23what I have to tell you all.
40:32You got that baby fever
40:33going on.
40:34I just want kids.
40:36Yeah, now.
40:37Not now.
40:39We get adjusted
40:39to the new lifestyle.
40:41Then we can get
40:42into the lab
40:43and maybe start
40:44cooking something up.
40:45What?
40:45We're going to go
40:47wedding dress shopping
40:48this week,
40:49but Sammy won't
40:51physically be there.
40:53Because of her anxiety,
40:54Sammy could possibly
40:55not be here
40:56to enjoy that experience
40:58with Bailen and I.
41:00To me,
41:00that's the connection
41:01as my girls.
41:04I'm so excited,
41:06but I'm so nervous.
41:07Today,
41:07I'm pretty pumped
41:08about wedding dress shopping.
41:10Oh, wow.
41:11Oh, my God.
41:15I hear the dragging.
41:19Oh, my God.
41:23Oh, my God.
41:23Oh, my God.
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