Baylen Out Loud - Season 2 Episode 08- Saddle Up!
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00:00The MLB, they got to see this glorious face.
00:03My jawline got to be perfect, you know?
00:10I really want to get in shape before the wedding.
00:13I've gained 18 pounds that I cannot lose.
00:17Find a class that you want to do.
00:19I'll do it with you.
00:22What the fuck?
00:26We're riding horse heads on a stick.
00:30Try to look up, right?
00:30Don't look at the horse.
00:32Ride the horse.
00:35Yee-haw.
00:38So what's the latest with couples counseling?
00:40We're in therapy right now discussing dad.
00:43Why are you discussing dad?
00:44Colin really wants a relationship with dad, and he's scared.
00:49It has been a little bit surprising to find out
00:52that they have been talking about Colin and Alan's relationship.
00:55Like, a medical plan is the number one thing when it comes to jobs.
01:01It's not, like, what I want to do because I think it's fun and cool.
01:05We still need to have that conversation with your father.
01:09I think it's really important for there to be boundaries.
01:13You just don't want to hear you should do this job.
01:15I'm going to make whatever decision I'm going to make,
01:18and I don't care what anybody else has to say.
01:21I told your dad a little bit of what you said to me.
01:25Yeah, where am I at in therapy?
01:26Uh, so...
01:45Speaking of therapy...
01:47Where are we at? What do I got to do?
01:48As we talked about in therapy,
01:53me and Colin need to set these boundaries for us.
01:56But I'm terrified that my parents will take it as a...
01:59Rejection.
02:00This is why I hate confrontation,
02:02because it feels like there's so much...
02:04To lose.
02:07But seriously, what's the deal?
02:09Like, where am I at?
02:09There's no deal.
02:10I'm here to discuss setting some...
02:18Some boundaries,
02:19especially around my career after the military.
02:23I do understand the reasoning on why
02:25they keep pushing for a staple job with good health care.
02:29Nah.
02:30But with that said,
02:32I also want to be able to choose a career
02:34that ultimately makes me happy
02:38and also still be able to provide for me and my family.
02:47Uh, so...
02:48In therapy, we were talking about stressors
02:52and things like that in life.
02:54And...
02:54For the past, like, four months,
02:58I've been, like, really stressed about
02:59what am I going to do if I get out of the military?
03:04Knowing that, like, whatever decision that I make
03:06is not only affecting me,
03:08but her and potentially our future family.
03:11So, it's just, like, a lot of weight on my shoulders.
03:15And I know that you feel very, like, strongly
03:18about, like, health care
03:20and, like, making sure that I have
03:22a really good health care program
03:23with whatever job that I choose.
03:26And that made it super difficult
03:31to, like, try and come to a decision
03:33on what I wanted to do
03:35because I really have decided
03:39to go in the direction of real estate.
03:47And they don't really offer health care benefits.
03:51When I hear that Colin wants to go into real estate,
04:04my first impression is,
04:06has he ever sold anything?
04:08Are you a salesman?
04:09I don't think it's the most stable
04:12in terms of income and steady income
04:15and things like that.
04:16For Balen and Colin,
04:18my biggest concern is medical insurance.
04:22She's on our plan for a time being,
04:27and that doesn't last very long.
04:29Balen has a lot of medical needs,
04:31and we don't know if those will dissipate
04:33any time soon.
04:35There are ways that we can still have health care
04:38and good health care benefits,
04:39but it's just really where I see myself
04:42being the happiest
04:43and something that I can be really successful in.
04:47I'm just hoping you guys can still
04:49respect that decision.
04:52So, that's really it.
04:58All right.
04:59Well, I'll give you my spiel.
05:02My best answer is, like, have a plan.
05:05Say to yourself,
05:06I'm going to work on this for this long,
05:08and if I don't make what I want,
05:10I don't know how much longer
05:11I'm going to work towards it.
05:13Right?
05:15My opinion would be,
05:16have a set amount that you need to make in a year.
05:19Like, this is the minimum I am willing to make
05:22so that it doesn't put too much stress on Balen
05:25and what she has to do and for her health.
05:28Like, either I can feed the kids or I can't.
05:32It's one or the other.
05:37Julie and I get it.
05:38Like, we want you to be happy,
05:41but things change in relationships.
05:43Things change in your life,
05:45and we want you to be kind of prepared,
05:48have a plan,
05:49understand what the future can bring you.
05:52And in case real estate doesn't take off
05:55in a few months or whatever their time frame is,
05:57we would feel a lot more comfortable
05:59if they had a solid backup plan.
06:03Real estate might be a struggle.
06:05Getting calls and getting up
06:06and showing people houses
06:07and learning about when's the last time the roof was done
06:11and answering hundreds of questions
06:12about structures and homes and HOA fees and all,
06:16you might be like,
06:18oh, I didn't know it was going to be like this.
06:22It's a long road to that dead end,
06:24and by the time people realize that it's a dead end,
06:27they've wasted half their life
06:29and they're trying to go back
06:30and they need to run out of time.
06:32So all the great, wonderful, happiness dreams
06:34of whatever, they're in the cemetery.
06:36Their names are written on tombstones.
06:38So if this doesn't work out,
06:42what are you going to do?
06:46Come up with something
06:47that you have as a backup plan as well.
06:52We came here to be able to set boundaries,
06:54and here we are where I'm being told
06:58that I need to have a backup plan
07:00for a real estate.
07:02And trust me, I get it.
07:04They just want to make sure
07:05that she's taken care of.
07:08Take a nap.
07:09But nothing's ever really going to change
07:11if they just can't trust us
07:13to be able to make our own decisions.
07:15Moving forward, like, please, like,
07:18if there's something we can do, Julia and I,
07:20to help you, tell us.
07:22But when you guys go to your therapy sessions,
07:25focus on yourselves.
07:27Forget about me.
07:30All right, I think it's time to head on back.
07:33Yeah, we have to go get the doggies
07:36and check on the babies.
07:37All right.
07:38Thanks for having us.
07:39I know, but then I feel bad bringing them back.
07:41Thanks, honey.
07:42Whatever you need, all right?
07:43Yeah, I appreciate it.
07:44No worries, all right?
07:45Yeah.
07:46So, it appeared to me by the end of the night
07:49that they were both pretty receptive
07:51to our thoughts on his career change.
07:56But that could be different when they get in the car
07:59and they start bouncing ideas.
08:01They're, you know, everyone's lens is different,
08:03so maybe they just did a good job holding it together.
08:06I don't know.
08:06After that conversation and everything,
08:15like, how are you feeling?
08:17Regarding, like, my dad,
08:19it doesn't surprise me that he said a plan.
08:23It's very valid.
08:24Like, you...
08:25I can't be making $30,000
08:27and be expecting us to live off that.
08:32We have three dogs.
08:33If we ever want to start a family,
08:34we would be paying for health care out of pocket.
08:37It would just be really hard.
08:38It wouldn't...
08:39It would be very, very difficult.
08:42Your dad, do I think that
08:43I'm going to still feel pressures from him?
08:47100%.
08:47I know that they probably don't agree
08:51with my real estate decision.
08:54I understand where Julie and Alan are coming from.
08:57I know it's not going to be easy.
09:00But it's something that I want to do.
09:03I truly believe that this is
09:05what is best for me and for us.
09:07And I don't quite understand
09:09why I need a backup plan
09:11when I don't plan on failing.
09:13For me, I could not go to bed at night
09:17knowing that I didn't provide
09:20the best plan forward.
09:22Well, they have to find a balance
09:23with chasing this so-called happiness
09:28that he says,
09:29which I completely understand.
09:31Happiness is looking in the mirror
09:32and saying to yourself,
09:34I was able to have a paycheck
09:37and work some overtime
09:37or I got a medical plan
09:39or I have a life insurance policy.
09:41So if something happens to me,
09:43my significant other
09:44isn't going to struggle
09:45with my children in the future.
09:47That's why I try to explain it
09:49in a way where he could understand.
09:51Because at first,
09:52I thought to myself,
09:53this probably ain't the best decision
09:57I haven't heard in the last five years.
09:59I know for my four boys,
10:01that would be a hard no.
10:04This career change
10:05is a little bit of a gamble.
10:07But Jalen supports it.
10:09She supports him.
10:11So we support him.
10:12We really are always
10:16towing the line
10:17between being, like,
10:19supportive and firm
10:20but not overstepping.
10:22But for lack of better words,
10:25it would probably be irresponsible
10:27for him to not have a backup plan
10:29because things are always
10:30going to come at you
10:31that you can't plan for.
10:33So if you have some idea
10:34of where you're going to go next,
10:35at least, you know,
10:37it's something to work with
10:38instead of nothing.
10:39My neurologist
10:46gave me a referral
10:48to start exposure
10:49response prevention therapy.
10:51Would you want to work
10:52on your fear of horses?
10:56What is kind of, like,
10:57the goal?
10:59Dick.
10:59We're going to get to a place
11:00where you can ride the horse.
11:02I do not think
11:03that I'm going to get
11:04on a horse today
11:05because I'm petrified of horses.
11:07More deep breaths.
11:08Come on, bitch.
11:25You like the pink dog carrier?
11:27No.
11:27Oh, why?
11:29Because none of our dogs
11:30want to stay in here.
11:31Fluffy does.
11:32Fluffle Puffle likes it.
11:33But you said,
11:34why are we carrying fluff?
11:35I like it.
11:36You look good in pink.
11:37Yeah.
11:38Thanks for taking me out
11:39to dinner for my birthday
11:40last night.
11:43With all the expenses
11:44from the wedding coming up
11:45and us trying to save money,
11:48me and Colin decided
11:49that I would have
11:50my birthday
11:51just between both of us
11:52with a cute little dinner
11:53and a cute family walk
11:55with the dogs
11:55this morning
11:56with the flop.
11:58Hawken.
11:59Hi, little man.
12:00I'm not taking much today
12:03because the walk
12:04is so peaceful
12:05and calming
12:06that it just
12:07has been helping
12:08with my tics.
12:09Do you really think
12:11that our dogs
12:12are going to be able
12:12to walk up the aisle
12:14at our wedding?
12:14No.
12:15They'll need training.
12:16That's something
12:17that we're going to have
12:17to talk to
12:18our wedding planner about.
12:20All right.
12:21Serious question.
12:23Who's going to be
12:23the best flower girl
12:24out of the two of you?
12:35I'm excited to work
12:36with the wedding planner.
12:37We need a lot of help.
12:39We need a lot of direction
12:40is what we need.
12:42My parents recommended
12:43that we get a wedding planner.
12:45We've been doing
12:45a lot of research
12:46and we really liked
12:48this person named Shannon.
12:50We're really hoping
12:50that the wedding planner
12:51can help us with one
12:53everything.
12:55The only thing
12:55we've gotten done
12:56is the venue.
12:57There's food.
12:59There's alcohol.
13:00There's flowers.
13:00There's hair and makeup.
13:01There's transportation
13:02for our guests.
13:04There's a lot, everybody.
13:06There's a lot of things
13:06we need to do.
13:07We don't need to list them all.
13:08We have a lot.
13:09Get a horse.
13:11Oh, my God.
13:11Save a horse,
13:12ride a cowboy, mother****.
13:13Ride the horse.
13:17It's so pretty.
13:19It's really pretty.
13:20This walk was a perfect
13:21way to work out.
13:22I don't have to touch anything.
13:23I don't have to worry
13:24about anybody's germs.
13:26I do feel like
13:27working through
13:28my fear of germs
13:29is the only way
13:31to get through everything,
13:32though,
13:32because I don't want
13:33to be like this forever.
13:34I do want to be able
13:35to go to a gym,
13:36and the only way
13:37to go to a gym
13:38is to put myself
13:39into a gym.
13:41I've always had OCD,
13:43but recently,
13:44my OCD has manifested itself
13:46into having a problem
13:48with germs,
13:49and touching gym equipment
13:51that's shared
13:51with other people
13:52is just too much
13:54for me right now.
13:55I feel like I'm at my peak.
13:57I'm at as much
13:58as I can take.
13:59I kind of just think
14:01that I'm going
14:02to get all the germs
14:03and get sick
14:04and end up in the hospital
14:06or get sick
14:08and even die.
14:09Dr. Flaherty,
14:10my neurologist,
14:12gave me a referral
14:13to start seeing
14:14Dr. Russell,
14:15an ERP therapist.
14:17It's exposure response
14:19prevention therapy
14:20for my obsessive compulsive dick
14:23for my OCD.
14:24Exposure therapy.
14:26Yes.
14:27I really want to resolve
14:28my fear of germs.
14:30Mm-hmm.
14:31Is there anything
14:31you can think of?
14:32Well, I mean,
14:35if I'm going to
14:36want a horse
14:38in our wedding,
14:40would you want to work
14:41on your fear of horses?
14:45Would you at least
14:46ask if it's something
14:48that you could work on?
14:51Oh.
14:52I mean,
14:56yeah.
14:59Yeah, I can ask her.
15:00It's something
15:02that needs to be worked on.
15:04Okay.
15:05Yippee-ki-yay,
15:06mother f***er.
15:09I really appreciate
15:11Vaylin being willing
15:12to confront her fear
15:14of horses,
15:14just for me.
15:15I mean,
15:17I'm doing it for me, too.
15:18I'm doing it for me, too.
15:19I mean,
15:20I'm just saying,
15:21that's a tough thing to do.
15:22Like, I wouldn't be able
15:23to work through
15:23one of my fears.
15:24I don't want to be near
15:26the things that I'm afraid of.
15:27Yeah, I know.
15:28Me either.
15:29Me either.
15:29Me either.
15:30Yep.
15:31Pumpkin wants to go
15:32in this water so badly.
15:34What if we just, like,
15:35give him a little dip right now?
15:40Come on!
15:41Oh, yeah, he don't like it.
15:42He knows how to swim, though!
15:44You're not going to me!
15:45I know you know how to swim!
15:49Oh!
15:50Oh!
15:50Oh!
15:50Oh!
15:50Oh!
15:50Oh!
15:50Oh!
15:51Oh!
15:51Oh!
15:52Oh!
15:52Oh!
15:52Oh!
15:53Oh!
15:53Oh!
15:53Oh!
15:54Oh!
15:54Oh!
15:54Oh!
15:55Oh!
15:55Oh!
15:55Oh!
15:56Oh!
15:56Oh!
15:57Oh!
15:57Oh!
15:58Oh!
15:58Oh!
15:59Oh!
15:59Oh!
16:00Oh!
16:00Oh!
16:02Pini!
16:07You're going to sit in bed with me and do something.
16:09What?
16:10What are you doing?
16:11Hmm.
16:12Come on!
16:12I just want to go over a few things.
16:14The venue stuff.
16:16So I want to just be able to start writing some things down,
16:19things that are helpful for them,
16:21because I think that they're clueless.
16:23I'm kind of clueless, too.
16:24But I know that they need to get the show on the road.
16:27And I'll make sure that the wedding coordinator
16:30knows what she's doing.
16:32We can't be sure that Balan and Colin
16:33listened to everything advice-wise that we give them,
16:36but they did pick out a wedding planner.
16:39Thankful for that.
16:40Definitely thankful for that.
16:42Right now, I'm really just making a list of things
16:45that I think are important for them to go over with her,
16:48things that maybe they just wouldn't think of.
16:50So hopefully that they will be able to use this
16:52as a reference when they speak with her.
16:55Just listen.
16:56Write food next to food.
16:59Just write desserts.
17:02Underneath that, put transportation.
17:04How many people are staying local or are traveling?
17:07How are people getting to your hotel?
17:09Are we ride sharing?
17:10Who's doing the photos?
17:13Is this going to be random done by iPhone?
17:16Oh, doggies.
17:17Yes, that's a big one.
17:18How, like, who's watching them that night when...
17:21That's what I mean.
17:22Where are they going?
17:23Christian the marriage?
17:25It's just...
17:29Hilarious.
17:30Okay.
17:31F***ing hilarious.
17:32I mixed up the word a little bit and made it sound a little bit more Christlike.
17:36It's not very Christlike to do stuff before marriage, but...
17:42Everyone's doing stuff, I guess.
17:45I don't know.
17:46Like...
17:47I think...
17:48I'm sorry.
17:49That's...
17:50Moving on, next question.
17:52I'm thinking, like, responsibilities of the bridesmaid and groomsmen.
17:57Like, there's a lot that Sammy, I think, has to do.
17:59As the maid of honor.
18:00She does all the dress stuff.
18:01And that's kind of a big deal.
18:03I just know it's going to be a lot for her, so we definitely have to incorporate Sammy.
18:11But...
18:13I don't know.
18:15It's getting harder for her to come here, and I think I used to look at it that it was
18:22like the flying.
18:24The flying is a small piece of the puzzle.
18:27She has, honestly, crippling anxiety.
18:32In an ideal world, Sammy would have a whole ton to do with the wedding planning, because
18:37that's what the maid of honor does.
18:39I know Sammy would love to be super involved, and she is so detail-oriented, but it's really
18:44just not realistic.
18:46I can't just drive down the road and see you, you know, so it's kind of like I feel
18:50bad that I can't be here sometimes.
18:52With my anxiety and OCD and traveling, I feel terrible.
18:56Like, I just can't shut my mind off.
18:59Like, I know she needs us, right?
19:02All right.
19:08Like, her brain, I think, is exhausted at the end of each day.
19:15So this just adds to it.
19:18But I know that she wants to help Valen.
19:20I mean, I don't like being far from Sammy.
19:26I would just like to be able to hug her and help her.
19:33Anxiety and OCD seems to be like a common thread.
19:41I see it in Valen and Sammy, and we're obviously keeping a close eye on Beckner.
19:56Unfortunately, right now, it seems like we need to put a little bit more attention into Sammy,
20:13because her condition seems almost a little bit stronger.
20:18That's our job as parents,
20:20to keep a watchful eye on all of our kids.
20:24She's always been the strong one, so she just doesn't like to be vulnerable.
20:27Like, let us do something to help you.
20:30We've got to make sure everything's perfect for you, too.
20:36I don't like horses.
20:59They can throw you off, they can kick you, bite you.
21:05Everything about them is scary to me.
21:07I want to back up.
21:09I don't know if I can do this.
21:23I know one thing and one thing only.
21:25I've done all my homework for this.
21:27What was the homework that Dr. Russell gave you?
21:29I'm supposed to look at horses, watch horses.
21:33So all I've been doing is looking at videos, because we don't really live close to horses.
21:38The first session with Dr. Russell went really, really well.
21:41We kind of went off of my OCD and built a hierarchy for the things I want to work towards.
21:47So starting with horse therapy, we can build off of go do other things like germ therapy
21:53that are more complex than horseback riding.
21:56Tell me a little bit about how OCD is controlling your life.
22:00What do you feel like are the most distressing parts about OCD for you?
22:02Like I know germs, because everything has to be wiped down.
22:06The dishes have to be done.
22:08I will clean the whole house before I even drink water in the morning.
22:12What ERP is going to really ask you to do is to really confront your fears.
22:17My other half is obsessed with horses, and I'm deathly afraid of horses.
22:22But I'm like, it's one of the fears that can be changed.
22:26Yeah, absolutely.
22:27A big part of exposure therapy is actually getting out and doing this in public.
22:30I think this is the right next step.
22:33So today we are meeting up with Dr. Russell for my first ERP session with horses at a horse ranch outside of DC.
22:42My therapist says you have to walk before you can run.
22:45Me facing my fear of horses and exposure is me walking.
22:49It's all practice for when I have to tackle my bigger fears and run with germs.
22:54This is how I build up my tolerance step by step.
22:57I don't want to say I'm not going to enjoy today, but not thrilled.
23:02Not thrilled.
23:03I know you are.
23:07These horses are going to be real nice.
23:09Mm-hmm.
23:10They'll want to just lick you.
23:12I don't want to be licked, so.
23:14Their tongue is massive, okay?
23:18Yeah.
23:19If their body's massive, their tongue is massive, and I don't need that lick on me.
23:23Well, that's just a massive amount of love that they want to give you.
23:26Mm-hmm.
23:28The worst case scenario for how this horse exposure therapy could go is that I don't follow through.
23:35Do you think that's the worst?
23:37What did you think the worst case scenario is?
23:40Something traumatizes you forever.
23:45Okay.
23:46We don't need to.
23:47Okay.
23:48Okay.
23:49Okay.
23:50Okay.
23:51Oh, my God.
23:52I have a pit in my stomach.
23:54I really do.
24:08Uh-oh.
24:09We're here.
24:10We're here.
24:11I'm very anxious as we're pulling in, and I'm seeing horses.
24:15We're seeing people on horses.
24:17My heart rate is at at least 250, because I don't like horses, and we're pulling up literally
24:22to see horses.
24:36Hey.
24:37Hey.
24:38Hey.
24:39You want a hug?
24:41Yes.
24:42Okay.
24:43Hi.
24:44Hi.
24:45Nice to meet you.
24:46Hi.
24:47Nice to meet you.
24:48Nice to meet you.
24:49So how was the drive-in?
24:50Anxiety-driven, but we're here.
24:51Yeah.
24:52We're here.
24:53We're here.
24:54So we're here.
24:55Well, I'm here with you.
24:56We're here.
24:57We're gonna get this.
24:58We're here.
24:59We're here with you.
25:00We're here with you.
25:01We're here with you.
25:02We're here with you.
25:03So she's already anticipating some of the exposures we're about to do today.
25:06In my clinical opinion, I think Baylin's OCD is pretty severe.
25:10However, she seems incredibly motivated to work on it.
25:13She's being really brave.
25:14We're gonna do the exposure therapy today with the horses, but we're gonna do one step at
25:20a time.
25:21It's gonna be challenging.
25:22Okay.
25:23So we're gonna start with, uh, we're just going to kind of introduce you to the horses.
25:27I know that you even just kind of being around them scary for you.
25:31So we're just going to kind of look at them from a distance and then kind of gradually get
25:35more comfortable being closer to them.
25:37And I'm going to be checking in with you with your SUDs.
25:40Do you remember the one through 10 SUDs?
25:42Mm-hmm.
25:43SUDs are subjective units of distress scale.
25:46And it's on a scale of one to 10, one being really no distress at all.
25:51Very calm, relaxed, 10 feeling very distressed, almost out of control.
25:56Once you kind of, the SUDs level comes down, I can tell they're a little high right now.
26:01Mm-hmm.
26:02Then we're gonna take the next step and the next step and the next step.
26:05So what is kind of like the goal?
26:08Where could she like end up at by the end of today?
26:10Deck.
26:11We're gonna get to a place where you can ride the horse.
26:14That's the goal.
26:15Today?
26:16Hopefully.
26:17I do not think that I'm going to get on a horse today because I'm petrified of horses.
26:22They are extremely muscular.
26:24They can throw you off.
26:26They can kick you.
26:27They can bite you.
26:30Just everything about them is scary to me.
26:35So exposure one underway.
26:37Yes.
26:38Look at them.
26:39Yeah, just look at them.
26:41That one's talkative.
26:45Kind of like any animal noise that I can mock sets my tics off because it's just a trigger
26:50that I can't remove.
26:51How are you feeling?
26:52Getting closer?
26:53Hi.
26:54I want to back up.
26:55Okay.
26:56Okay.
26:57I think we'll stay here for now.
27:00This is like a good distance for you?
27:02Yeah.
27:03Okay.
27:04What level are you feeling?
27:05I want to cry.
27:06It's okay.
27:07How about we take a couple steps back?
27:08Okay.
27:09I'm so overwhelmed.
27:10This is moving way too fast.
27:11This is all we're doing right now.
27:12Just this exposure.
27:13Okay?
27:14I don't know if I can do this.
27:15Deep breaths.
27:16Okay?
27:17More deep breaths.
27:18Bitch.
27:19What level are you feeling?
27:20I want to cry.
27:21See?
27:22It's okay.
27:23It's okay.
27:24This is all we're doing right now.
27:25This is all we're doing right now.
27:26Just this exposure.
27:27Okay?
27:28I don't know if I can do this.
27:29Deep breaths.
27:30Okay?
27:31More deep breaths.
27:32Bitch.
27:46What level are you feeling?
27:47I want to cry.
27:48Hey.
27:49It's okay.
27:50How about we take a couple steps back?
27:51Okay.
27:52Okay.
27:53It's okay.
27:55As Aelyn sees the horses for the first time, I can see that she's feeling a lot more distressed
28:00and I can tell that it's a little too overwhelming for her, so we have her back up to a spot where she can engage with the exposure more.
28:06Okay.
28:07What's your suds right now?
28:08What number?
28:09Six.
28:10Six?
28:11Mm-hmm.
28:12I'm like, fine to look at them, but not fine to get near them.
28:15It's okay.
28:16This is where we're at right now.
28:18I knew she was afraid of horses, but I didn't realize that this is the extent of how much she is afraid.
28:27This might be goodbye to a horse at the wedding.
28:30Which one do you like the best?
28:35I'm guessing the smaller one?
28:36Yeah, the one with the Mohawk.
28:37The Mohawk.
28:38This is Sparky.
28:39Sparky.
28:40And this is Coco.
28:41Sparky and Coco.
28:42Aren't those cute names?
28:43Yeah, those are cute names.
28:44That makes it better.
28:45Mm-hmm.
28:46That makes it better.
28:47The names of the horses seem to kind of soothe her a bit.
28:50I can tell that she's feeling a little bit more relaxed.
28:52I think it's always surprising, the things that seem to calm people in exposures, but this one makes sense.
28:58You know, she's such an animal lover, so.
29:00Do you want to take another step?
29:01Yeah.
29:02Okay.
29:06Nope.
29:07Getting pretty close.
29:08They're taking steps, too.
29:09Hi.
29:10Okay.
29:11I think the next step would be to hold your hand out.
29:14Okay?
29:17Mm-hmm.
29:18Scary.
29:19But we're close enough that, you know, they can start petting them.
29:22Despite my fear, I'm so determined and motivated to get through this and to conquer my fear of horses.
29:30Where does this one like to be pet?
29:32On his neck or on his face, right here.
29:34Right there?
29:35Yeah.
29:36Okay, so I think that's this.
29:37Oh, he thinks you have a tree because you're sticking your hand out.
29:39Oh.
29:40Oh, my goodness.
29:41Hey, that's okay.
29:42You got it.
29:43You can pet his face right here.
29:44You can pet him right here.
29:46Wow.
29:47Okay.
29:48You got it.
29:49You're doing a good job, Baylen.
29:52Or you can pet his neck.
29:54Yeah, like right here.
29:55You want to pet right here?
29:56Wow.
29:57Look at you go.
29:58Oh, it sheds.
29:59Oh, yeah.
30:00He does.
30:01Oh, yeah.
30:02Yeah.
30:03I like your little mohawk.
30:07I'm very nervous.
30:08However, I'm very proud of myself that I'm able to touch the horse when seconds ago I
30:13wasn't able to.
30:14And I'm just making sure that I'm not getting bit.
30:20Are you ready for the next step?
30:23What is it?
30:24Can she lead the horse?
30:25Yeah.
30:26How do I do that?
30:27So you stand on the left side, and you have your hand, one hand right here, and then one
30:30hand folding the other side of the lead rope so it doesn't drag.
30:33Come on, Sparky.
30:34Come on, Sparky.
30:35Look at you go.
30:36Come on.
30:37Come on.
30:38If you want to turn him this way, you can just walk your body this way.
30:42Come on, Sparky.
30:43Oh, we're going in the grass.
30:45Yes.
30:46I am really surprised that I'm able to lead the horse when short minutes ago I was not
30:53even able to step forward to touch the horse.
30:56It gives me comfort to picture Sparky as my dog Fluff.
31:00A real big Fluff.
31:02Meaty Fluff.
31:04A really, really muscular Fluffle.
31:09So, cleaning the hooves, wherever you want to start.
31:13Dr. Russell's definitely a taskmaster with these exposures, and now I'm cleaning hooves.
31:19Hooves.
31:20Hooves.
31:21Hooves.
31:22Hooves.
31:23Hoo hooves.
31:24Hoo hoo hoo.
31:25Eat a bag of dicks.
31:30She's got me brushing the horse, and I'm also brushing myself because it's setting off my
31:37ticks.
31:38Look at your bum.
31:40It feels really nice to not have something hold me back and to just leap over that wall
31:45of fear.
31:46Son of .
31:48You're looking pretty comfortable.
31:50I think you're ready.
31:52Next up.
31:53Saddle up.
31:54Saddle up.
31:55I did not think I was going to make it this far today.
32:00I am petrified to saddle up on this horse and gallop right now.
32:05No one said you're galloping.
32:06You just got to get on it.
32:07Yeah.
32:08That's even scarier.
32:10I'm a little bit scared because I'm petrified of heights and being on top of a horse just
32:24makes me go right to think I'm going to fall off the horse and I'm going to get hurt.
32:28You got it.
32:29Oh my God.
32:30And here's the reins if you want to grab them.
32:31And you can hold onto the front of the saddle if you want to.
32:35Okay.
32:36How are you feeling?
32:37What's your number?
32:38Um, like a 10.
32:39Okay.
32:40Okay.
32:41We're just going to stay here for a minute.
32:42Okay?
32:43Okay.
32:44And you can relax.
32:45Remember, Baylin, a lot of anxiety is anticipatory.
33:01It gets better once you do it.
33:02Okay?
33:03Ready?
33:04Yeah.
33:05Yay, Sparky!
33:06Seeing Baylin get on the horse right now, it just makes me so happy because I was going
33:24to the end of the day thinking that she was not going to get on it, was not going to ride
33:29it.
33:30She was just going to maybe at most pet it.
33:33So seeing her on that horse, it really made me happy.
33:36It's a good boy, Sparky.
33:39This is definitely a lot better.
33:42Okay.
33:43You just need your last call.
33:47Ride the horse.
33:52I feel free trotting around the arena with the horse.
34:00Probably for other people, being on a horse is freeing.
34:03That's not what was freeing for me.
34:04Freeing to me was like being able to be out of my thoughts and not being controlled by
34:09them.
34:12So what's your size at?
34:15Honestly, low.
34:16Like a three or four.
34:17Yeah, you got it.
34:19Now that you've got to ride on one, do you think we could ride off one into the sunset
34:24after our wedding?
34:26No.
34:27Okay.
34:28I'm definitely more comfortable around horses.
34:31If that, that should have been your question.
34:33The vision is, is I would love for me and you to ride off into the sunset.
34:37Damn.
34:39Well, you could ride it with Floptoot and Punk.
34:41No.
34:42Colin.
34:43No.
34:44Thank you for being brave, Baylin.
34:45Thank you so much.
34:47I can do hard things.
34:48Okay.
34:49You don't need to, we don't need to do that.
34:50We don't need that.
34:51But I love you.
34:52Love you too.
34:57Food and dessert is like very big for us.
35:00Okay.
35:01Kind of like a semi open bar.
35:03I want alpacas.
35:04Alpacas.
35:05A horse.
35:07We need to manage expectations.
35:10In thinking about your budget, I think you're not going to love what I have to tell you.
35:15Let me see that.
35:24Let me see that.
35:25Let me see that green.
35:26Is the future.
35:28Cut your style.
35:29Let me see that green.
35:41I'm excited.
35:42Wedding planners do this as their full-time job,
35:46try and figure out, like,
35:47what fits and what doesn't.
35:48Yeah.
35:49Today we are meeting with our wedding planner,
35:51Shannon, for the first time.
35:53We're hoping to get a better understanding of everything
35:56and how far our budget will go.
35:59I'm very thankful that my mom put together a list
36:01of important things that we need to discuss
36:03with our wedding planner.
36:06It's a long list.
36:08I woke up missing horses.
36:12Oh, I'm so excited.
36:13I'm so excited.
36:16Hello.
36:17Hi.
36:18Hi.
36:19How are you guys?
36:20Collin.
36:21Nice to meet you.
36:22Can I give you a hug?
36:23You sure can.
36:24Nice to meet you.
36:25Oh, yeah, we're a hugger.
36:26My name is Shannon with Shannon Wellington Weddings and Events.
36:29This is Chris.
36:30We are a wedding and event design and planning company,
36:33and we've been doing this for about 15 years now.
36:36Our goal for today is to learn all about Balin and Collin
36:40what their priorities are for their wedding day.
36:43Tell me more about your experience with weddings.
36:45I know when we had talked briefly, Balin,
36:48you said you don't have a ton of experience
36:50at being in weddings or going to weddings.
36:53Nothing.
36:54Okay.
36:55And how about you, Balin?
36:56What's your experience?
36:57Yeah, I've been in, or I've been to a few,
36:59but nowhere close to, like, knowing how to plan for a wedding.
37:03Okay.
37:04Eat a bag of dicks.
37:06While we've never actually had a bride or groom
37:09that specifically had a mission like Tourette,
37:12many of our brides and grooms have anxiety.
37:15They have their own quirks, so to say.
37:18So we have to be able to kind of roll with it.
37:21Wedding planning can be overwhelming and stressful,
37:25but it should also be really fun.
37:27So why don't you guys tell me about what venue you've chosen?
37:32Because you found one that you love.
37:35Yes.
37:36It's locked down.
37:37Yes.
37:38Perfect.
37:39We've already put a wedding deposit down on our venue.
37:42While the venue expense has eaten up a large portion
37:45of our wedding budget, we still have high expectations
37:48for the rest of the wedding, like flowers and food
37:51and my dress and colors.
37:53So much fun stuff.
37:55What drew you to this venue?
37:57The views.
37:58The views.
37:59It's 360.
38:00It's...
38:01It's on top of a mountain.
38:02The mountain.
38:03Okay.
38:04It's in the middle of nowhere.
38:05Okay.
38:06Is there, like, a hotel nearby?
38:08It's about 20 minutes to a hotel,
38:11but we also need to work into the budget chartering buses.
38:14Right.
38:15Because they go up and down the mountain,
38:17and I would rather do that than have anyone else drive.
38:20I think the location of the venue that Baylen and Colin chose
38:23are definitely going to present some challenges
38:25in terms of fees.
38:26Travel fees?
38:27Exactly.
38:28Travel fees.
38:29I mean, if there's not someone extremely hyper-local
38:32to the venue, then most vendors are going to say,
38:35okay, like, we'll come, sure, but for this, you know,
38:38additional price.
38:40What are you looking forward to the most?
38:43I think flowers would be number one.
38:45Okay.
38:46Food would be number two.
38:47Okay.
38:48Food and dessert is, like, very big for us.
38:51Okay.
38:52Anything, like, fun that you've seen that you, like,
38:55definitely want?
38:56I want alpacas.
38:57Alpacas.
38:58A horse.
38:59You want to ride in on a horse?
39:02No, he...
39:03Oh, you want to ride in on a horse.
39:04He does.
39:06As far as the alcohol goes,
39:08we're thinking kind of like a semi-open bar.
39:11Have you guys ever done a queso fountain?
39:13A queso fountain.
39:17I definitely want the dogs in the wedding.
39:19To me, that's a deal-breaker.
39:20Like, they're going to be in there
39:22regardless of if they're walking or if they're being held.
39:25Our dogs are not trained at all.
39:27This is in the, um, hard column.
39:30We need to manage expectations.
39:33So part of our job is educating them
39:36so that we can be like, okay, this is what reality is.
39:40I feel like the theme is, like,
39:43we want a lot of food, a lot of alcohol,
39:46a lot of this, a lot of that.
39:48Um, in thinking about your budget,
39:53I think that it's going to be a little challenging
39:57to get to the point where we can have everything we want.
40:04The moment of truth is finally here.
40:06What if she tells us we can't afford our dream wedding?
40:09I'm definitely worried that she's bracing us for some news
40:12we don't want to hear.
40:15I think that you're not going to love what I have to tell you all.
40:18You got that baby fever going on.
40:28I just want kids.
40:30Yeah, now.
40:31Not now.
40:33We get adjusted to the new lifestyle.
40:35Then we can get into the lab and maybe start cooking something up.
40:39What?
40:40We're going to go wedding dress shopping this week,
40:44but Sammy won't physically be there.
40:47Because of her anxiety, Sammy could possibly not be here
40:50to enjoy that experience with Baylen and I.
40:54To me, that's the connection.
40:56It's my girls.
40:57I'm so excited, but I'm so nervous.
41:01Today, I'm pretty pumped about wedding dress shopping.
41:04Oh, wow.
41:05Oh, hi.
41:06Oh, my God.
41:07I hear the dragging.
41:11Oh, my God.
41:18Oh, my God.
41:19Oh, my God.
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