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00:00Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs. Brown's Boys.
00:11She's Mrs. Brown.
00:14That's Mrs. Brown.
00:17Oh, Mrs. Brown.
00:28Hello there.
00:30Here, look at this.
00:33Bono gave Grandad this VR thing.
00:36Well, my God.
00:37Since his life went virtual, he's as happy as Larry.
00:41You'd think he'd know life before it.
00:44Actually, he didn't.
00:47Luke, come on.
00:52Season's greetings to you all.
00:55I'm looking forward to Christmas.
00:57No.
00:58Just picked up the Christmas cards for today.
01:00Three.
01:01We used to get tons of them.
01:03Tons of them.
01:04I remember one year we got over a hundred.
01:06Huh?
01:08Not anymore.
01:10You get a text now if you're lucky.
01:12Oh, now, here's the Grinch.
01:19What's that?
01:20Nothing, darling.
01:22Good morning, Catty.
01:23Morning, Mammy.
01:25Are you all right, love?
01:26No.
01:27Did you decide what you want for your Christmas present?
01:30Yes, a washing machine with a built-in cocktail cabinet.
01:34Mammy, seriously, I hate Christmas shopping.
01:37Don't be all.
01:38Who have you to get for yet?
01:40Everybody.
01:41Hello, boy.
01:46Hello, Catty.
01:48Oh, there she is.
01:49Good morning, Mother.
01:50Mother?
01:51All right, how much are you looking for?
01:55What do you want for Christmas, Dermot?
01:57I don't know.
01:58Oh, for God's sake.
01:59Guess what I want.
02:04Get lost.
02:05Right, I'll be back in an hour.
02:06No, she won't.
02:12Recycle?
02:13Ah, that's just a side hustle, Mrs. Brown.
02:15They give you back money for every empty plastic bottle you bring back.
02:18I have two bin bags full so far.
02:21That's a waste of fecking time.
02:23I mean, they only give you, what, five pence?
02:25No cents.
02:26No cents.
02:27It makes no bucking sense.
02:29Those two bags will probably get you 15 euro.
02:32No, Mrs. Brown.
02:33Just wait.
02:34I'm going to turn those two bags.
02:36Into 250 euro.
02:38Sounds to me like somebody's getting scammed.
02:42So, Dammit.
02:43How much are you looking for?
02:44For God's sake.
02:46Just a ten or mile. I forgot my wallet.
02:48I knew it.
02:49So, what's your pitch?
02:51God bless you.
02:53Whether it's waste, paste.
02:57Fucking...
02:58Fucking...
03:06So, Dammit, what...
03:07Hang on!
03:10Let me know when you're ready, son.
03:13You'll be waiting a while.
03:14So, what's the pitch on this?
03:21Whether it's waste, paste, plates or grapes.
03:23Old files, tiles or skates.
03:25Face it, everything comes to its end.
03:27So, remember, your wheelie bin is your friend.
03:29Bag it, tag it and stick it up your garden path.
03:32That's very good.
03:41Thanks, Matt.
03:42Eh, that tenner?
03:43Oh, yeah.
03:44When they get me first.
03:47Soup.
03:52Bit bland.
03:53Yeah, needs more salt.
03:59Here you go, son.
04:00Thanks, Matt.
04:09Grandad!
04:10No more skids!
04:20Hey, Bonham.
04:21Should you not be studying?
04:22Eh, whatever.
04:23You need to put the work in.
04:26Thanks, Sharon.
04:27You better pass those Christmas exams.
04:29Don't worry about it.
04:31Lazy little shit.
04:34Not so little anymore.
04:36See, Alry.
04:37That's not like him.
04:39First Christmas, since we self and Betty split.
04:41He's a bit upset.
04:43Aw!
04:44Bonham.
04:45Come here.
04:47Are you all rich, son?
04:49He makes a holy show of me, Granny.
04:50Slagging me in front of everyone.
04:51He'll calm down eventually.
04:53Well, I won't.
04:55He can't be lazy.
04:56Look, I have some jobs around the house that need doing.
04:59Do a couple of bobbins for you.
05:01I'll do it for you, Granny, but I'm not taking money off you.
05:03Aw!
05:08The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Agnes.
05:11He's so like his father.
05:13You said it, wouldn't you?
05:14Hmm.
05:15Mac was always so stubborn.
05:16Well, I think we know where you got that from.
05:19He he he he.
05:20Reggie.
05:21No, I was going to say...
05:23Er...
05:25Nothing.
05:27Cathy asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
05:31No.
05:32What'd you ask for?
05:33I couldn't think of anything.
05:35I bought Chardon a gorgeous Gwyneth Paltrow candle for her bedroom.
05:40I wouldn't be into that.
05:43No.
05:44No?
05:45You know how she makes them smell?
05:46No.
05:47She uses the smell of her...
05:53Her belly button?
05:55Lower.
05:57Her seat?
05:59No, higher.
06:00Knees.
06:04Higher.
06:05All we need now is for Bruce Foster to walk in the fucking door.
06:08And we have ourselves a game show.
06:11Nice to see you today and I.
06:15Wait a minute.
06:16Not her meow meow.
06:21Her fucking what?
06:24Well, that's what I call her.
06:25Me meow meow.
06:30I've heard it wrong now.
06:33Well, my mummy told me to call it me lady garden.
06:37False advertising, Winnie.
06:40More like an African swamp.
06:44Did you not give yours a name, Agnes?
06:46Yes, I used to call it St. Bridget's Purse.
06:49That's cute.
06:50Then I had Dermot and I changed it to St. Patrick's Haversack.
06:54Ha ha ha.
07:00Ha ha ha.
07:01Three more this morning.
07:02That's six in total.
07:05You know, if somebody doesn't send me a Christmas card, I wind them up.
07:09You should see the look of confusion on their face.
07:12Watch this.
07:15How are you, Agnes?
07:17Hiya, Bernie.
07:18Do you want a cup of tea?
07:19Oh, I'd love one.
07:20That Christmas card you sent me was absolutely beautiful.
07:27Was it?
07:28Oh, yeah.
07:29Honestly, it's probably the nicest one I've ever had.
07:31Nearly brought me to tears.
07:33Really?
07:35Ah, sure it was nothing.
07:39What are yous two talking about?
07:41How'd you tell him, Bordy, how much our Christmas card meant to me?
07:43Ah, didn't send me one.
07:48What's he got lost in the post?
07:50Well, if mine is getting to go by, yours must be fabulous.
07:53What did you write, Bordy?
07:55Huh?
07:56Tell her, go and tell her what you wrote.
07:58What was it again?
07:59Um, dear Agnes.
08:02Dearest, dearest, dearest Agnes.
08:04Yeah, um, happy Christmas.
08:07Merry, merry, merry Christmas.
08:09Yeah, yeah, you mad cow.
08:11And, you mad cow.
08:13Didn't say that, did I?
08:14No!
08:15You never even sent me a fucking Christmas card at all.
08:18I was wondering what was going on.
08:21I thought I was losing me marbles.
08:22Oh, here.
08:25See that candle?
08:26I had a sniff of it.
08:27It's going back.
08:31You didn't like it, no?
08:32It's not that, Bordy.
08:33It's just that Sharon's bedroom already smells like that.
08:45I get that, Bono.
08:47You be careful on that letter.
08:53Oh, Father Damien.
08:54How's it hanging?
08:55Like the good Lord on the cross, Mrs Brown.
08:58Painful, and a bit to the left.
09:00Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha.
09:09Well, thanks for dropping in.
09:11I was hoping to have a word, Mrs Brown.
09:13In private.
09:14Oh, OK.
09:16Hey, Damien, aren't you supposed to be doing confessions now?
09:20Oh, I am, yeah.
09:22This is the new door-to-door service I'm offering.
09:26So for penance, Mrs Brown, we'll go with three Hail Marys and two Our Fathers.
09:30Bye now.
09:32Wait a minute, what did I fucking do?
09:35Hey, Bono.
09:36All right, Uncle Trevor.
09:37There's tea in the pot, Trevor.
09:39You have a load of empty lemonade bottles in there too, Granny.
09:42Yeah, they're Buster's.
09:43He's recycling.
09:44This is looking lovely, Bono.
09:46Aye.
09:47And when I'm finished, they'll put up your tree if you like.
09:49I haven't even got a Christmas tree yet.
09:51Buster says he's on top of it.
09:53I'm sure Buster up with just the goods.
09:55Well, you're the only one that's sure.
09:58Thanks for doing this, Bono.
10:00You made an old woman very happy.
10:02You're a good boy.
10:04Try to tell him that to me da.
10:06I'm sure he thinks I'm a waste of space.
10:08Bono, your father just wants you to reach a potential.
10:11And it's normal for you two to be arguing.
10:14Mark was arguing with his dad all the time.
10:17Really?
10:18He said they never argued.
10:19Are you kidding me?
10:21I remember one night his dad called Mark lazy.
10:25Said that he wouldn't move if the house was on fire.
10:27Well, that night the chip pan caught fire.
10:30And guess who was the first to react?
10:32My dad?
10:33Yes.
10:34As quick as a flash, he jumped up with a damp cloth,
10:36put it over the pot and put the fire out.
10:39Before your granddad even had a chance to get his ass off the couch.
10:42And do you know what Reds are said to your father?
10:45Thanks, I hope.
10:46It took you long enough.
10:52Bono, your father...
10:55argues with you because he cares.
10:58He just wants the best for you.
11:02Now, come on.
11:03No slacking.
11:04Get up that lad of you lazy bastard.
11:09I'm getting no response out of granddad.
11:10Well, maybe he's in a better place.
11:15Granddad could be seriously ill, Mrs. Brown.
11:17Does he look sick to you?
11:23Now that you mention it, no.
11:25His arthritis has improved.
11:31Well, I can tell you now, since his life has gone virtual, my life is a doddle.
11:35Remarkable.
11:40I'd love to try it.
11:42Here, Doctor.
11:43Knock yourself out.
11:46See you, Granny.
11:47Thanks.
11:49See you, Bono, love.
11:51Two more?
11:52Yeah.
11:53Yeah.
11:55That one's from Winnie McGuggan.
11:56How do you know?
11:57It says on the back of it, from Winnie McGuggan.
12:01You're not going to open it?
12:02No, no.
12:03Winnie sends the same card every year.
12:05I'd put up last year's.
12:07Part of the Damien's been acting very strange lately, man.
12:09I know.
12:10What's this?
12:11Door-to-door confessions.
12:12What's next?
12:13Drive-through communion.
12:14He's been on the phone a lot lately to the bishop.
12:21I think he's moving parish.
12:23Well, if he is changing parish, there's one person that I know will definitely know about it.
12:28Who's that?
12:29Heardley Nicholson.
12:31You should go up and ask her.
12:33I will.
12:34Do you think she will know?
12:37Oh, she'll definitely know.
12:39That bitch would hear the grass growing.
12:42Oh, no.
12:50Very nice.
12:55Lovely.
12:56Welcome to Sleepy Mickey Strip Club.
13:02Mammy, I've just had a big epiphany.
13:14Oh.
13:15All right, I'll get the plunger.
13:18No, Mammy, I've had an idea.
13:22Oh, go on.
13:23Look, every year we all get stressed out trying to think of what to buy each other.
13:28I don't.
13:29Yes, you do.
13:30The last time I got stressed out was because you bought me a goat in Kenya.
13:35I don't even know what bus to get to Kenya.
13:39Mammy, we're going to have a family meeting.
13:41Why?
13:42Because I said so.
13:44Tonight, here, eight o'clock, I let everybody know.
13:48This is not going to end well.
13:53Where's me booking?
13:56Oh, there you go.
13:57Pssst.
14:25Pssst.
14:27Father Damien
14:29Were you pissing on my daisies?
14:31Oh, no. Well, not now
14:35What's going on?
14:36I've been trying to avoid Trevor. I can see that, but why?
14:40Every Christmas the bishop picks someone to win priest of the year. I nominated Trevor
14:45And I've been trying to keep it quiet until the results announced.
14:47Oh, you know what Trevor's lucky to have you. We're all lucky to have you. Oh, well, thank you.
14:53So what's the result? Who won? Well, God only knows.
14:56Oh
14:58Damien, let's take you!
15:00No!
15:06Who was that?
15:07Just somebody looking for directions.
15:09In our backyard?
15:10I know. I said they're radical veins, not fucking Google Maps.
15:19Oh, good. We're all here.
15:21Did we have a choice?
15:23Now, Mark, can't you put a lot of effort into this? Let's give it a chance.
15:27Thanks, Mammy.
15:28It's not going to be all night, love, is it?
15:30Mammy!
15:31Do we seriously have to do this, Mammy?
15:33I don't even want to be here.
15:34Please, Dermot.
15:36We all just give it a chance.
15:39And if you're not happy at the end of it, you can talk to the ringmaster there.
15:43Psh! Psh!
15:45Whip crack away, whip crack away, whip crack away!
15:52Look, every year we buy each other presents for Christmas, and more often than not, someone's not happy.
15:59Usually you.
16:02Sorry.
16:03And it ends in a row.
16:05I just think it would be fun to try something different.
16:09Mammy out.
16:10Oh, well, maybe we could just have a big punch-up, if you think that would be more productive.
16:15That's a great idea.
16:16OK, everybody start knocking the shit out of each other and we can move on with our lives.
16:21This is how it will work.
16:24Every time one of us voices their thoughts, we'll all say,
16:28We listen, but we don't judge.
16:32She has fucking worms.
16:35Come on, let's try that.
16:36Everybody, Mammy, we listen, but we don't judge.
16:42OK, is everybody happy to proceed?
16:45Bloody ears, did he?
16:50Mark, would you like to start us off?
16:52Nope.
16:54We listen, but we don't judge.
16:58Would somebody get us started, please?
17:03I don't want any more novelty neck toys.
17:05Thank you, Dermot.
17:06Everybody, we listen, but we don't judge.
17:11How can you have a problem with novelty toys?
17:14Mark's judging me.
17:16I'm asking a question.
17:18Dermot is allowed to say how he feels, Mark.
17:21I bought him those toys.
17:23They're funny.
17:24Oh, yeah.
17:25Hilarious, Mark.
17:26Especially the one with the big fish.
17:28Would you like fish?
17:30To eat.
17:31Not to work.
17:33OK, then.
17:34This Christmas, I don't want any more stupid cheap tools.
17:37Now you're just being childish.
17:39Ah, Dermot.
17:40We'll listen.
17:42But we don't judge.
17:43But we don't judge.
17:45This is good.
17:46We're making progress.
17:48Trevor, what about you?
17:49I'm fine, Cathy.
17:50Yeah.
17:51Easily pleased.
17:52Always was.
17:53Even as a child.
17:54Aw.
17:55Pity her sister didn't inherit some of that.
17:59Ma.
18:01Oh.
18:03Just ignore Grandad.
18:06Just thank God he has trousers on.
18:11I know what I'd like.
18:13I'd like you to stop asking fucking questions.
18:16All in favour, say aye.
18:18Aye.
18:19Aye.
18:20I am trying to help us.
18:23And you are failing miserably.
18:26OK, I'll go.
18:28Oh, now, here we go.
18:30Now, no matter what she says, remember, she's only trying to provoke a reaction.
18:35I don't want anybody to buy me any cheap knock-off perfume.
18:39You cheeky bitch.
18:41We listen?
18:42Oh, that was a dig at me.
18:44But we don't judge.
18:46That sounded like a dig at me.
18:49Would you like to share with the group what presents you'd like?
18:52I'm easy.
18:53Yeah, right.
18:54You get all pissy if you don't get what you wanted.
18:56Only because I keep leaving clues and nobody picks up on them.
19:00Like what?
19:01Name one clue you've ever given us.
19:03Two years ago, I changed the password on the Wi-Fi.
19:07Because I wanted a vacuum cleaner.
19:11The password is Tyson.
19:14It was a typo.
19:16I'm wondering why I got two tickets to that feckin' boxing match.
19:21Mammy, please, will you just tell us what you want?
19:27Mammy!
19:28I'm peaking!
19:30What's your budget?
19:31Oh, for God's sake!
19:33What if we didn't buy presents this year?
19:36What?
19:37It's Christmas, Bono.
19:39Should we cancel the turkey too?
19:41Hang on now.
19:42Have the rules changed?
19:43I thought everyone was allowed their opinion.
19:46Go ahead, son.
19:47Well, not if it's stupid.
19:49Bono is not stupid.
19:51Thanks, Dad.
19:52Careful, Cathy.
19:53Mark might get angry and buy a toy.
19:58I've had enough of this crap, Matt.
19:59I have a business to run.
20:01We all have lives, Mark.
20:03Even you.
20:04Don't you dare come in here with your high and mighty attitude.
20:07Would you listen to yourself?
20:09No, you listen to yourself!
20:11All I want for Christmas is a family Christmas with no fights.
20:16Is that too much to ask?
20:17We listen.
20:20We listen.
20:22But we don't judge.
20:24Fucking judge.
20:27I don't care what present I get.
20:30As long as it has a monetary value over 150 euro.
20:34And has a gift receipt.
20:37What about a gift we can all share?
20:40Explain this sharing thing to me, Bono, son of Marcus.
20:45Well, I thought we could get a family photograph taken.
20:49Banno, I love you, son.
20:52But seriously.
20:53One with all of us.
20:55Together.
20:57I love you too, Banno.
20:58But that's a stupid idea.
21:01Finally, we can all agree on something.
21:04What's wrong with that?
21:05Trevor, look around the house, for God's sake.
21:07There's portraits, every...
21:09Look at...
21:10There's none.
21:11Bono's right.
21:12We haven't taken a family picture in decades.
21:14I think it would be really nice to have a family photo taken.
21:15One with all the family.
21:16Up on the wall.
21:17Do you know, Bono, you're absolutely right.
21:18Yeah.
21:20Cathy, I think we're done here.
21:21Yep.
21:22And with not too much argument.
21:23That's a first.
21:24Can Buster be in the picture too, ma?
21:25Yeah, of course.
21:26Isn't that family?
21:27How dare you?
21:28That's not what he meant, Dermot, and you know it.
21:29Stay out of it.
21:30Don't you point your finger at me.
21:31Who do you think you are?
21:32Who do you think you are?
21:33Who do you think you are?
21:34Who do you think ...
21:45Listen, you little, Mr. Supjax!
21:47Who do you think you are?
21:49Who do you think you are?
21:50Who do you think you are?
21:51He's a new little Mr. Supjaxi.
21:53Who do you think you're a new young disciple?
21:54Who do you think you are, no?
21:56No, not that you're the one that's stated.
21:57You can't believe and live.
21:58And we don't fucking judge
22:03Now somebody help me get granddad into bed
22:16And they all died in the end
22:28And that there is what false praise does to a child
22:36And he writes all his old stuff, Agnes
22:38With a crayon, is it?
22:40Play another one, son
22:42Oh, will you shut up? My ears are ringing
22:44Must be proud, Mrs. Brown
22:46Second best priest in all of Dublin
22:48Remarkable achievement
22:50I am proud, but I wasn't waiting on you to win
22:52That to be proud of you, son
22:54Thanks, Mammy
22:56Mind you
22:58Mind you
23:00If you're not first
23:02You may as well be last
23:04Loser
23:06Well, I don't want them ending up like Susie Quattro, dear
23:12Father Damien
23:14You knew he was second all along, didn't you?
23:18Because you knew who won
23:20You did
23:22Mrs. Brown
23:24Mrs. Brown
23:26Don't spoil the moment
23:28I won't
23:30But you make sure and be around in their house tomorrow
23:32For the family photograph
23:34I will
23:36So
23:38Where's this Enzo?
23:40Here he is
23:42Enzo, this is Agnes' daughter Cathy
23:44Hello
23:46Ah, the desperate one
23:50Not that desperate
23:52Mammy, I will see you at home
23:58Excited about getting the family photograph, John Agnes?
24:00Yeah
24:01The two of yous know will be there
24:02But we're not families
24:04You speak for yourself, Birdie
24:06Birdie, of course you're family
24:08This one's about a donkey that lost his way in life
24:10This one's about a donkey that lost his way in life
24:12If you know the words, sing along
24:14Here, mullet head
24:16If you touch that banjo again
24:18I will cover it in butter
24:20And shove it up your
24:22Happy Christmas everybody
24:24Happy Christmas
24:26So this is Agnes' son Dermot
24:28How are you?
24:29Where's your friend Buster?
24:30He's not his friend Buster
24:32Buster is his brother from another mother
24:36Where is Buster?
24:37Putting up your trema
24:38Oh good man
24:40Did you get me card Agnes?
24:42Oh yes Winnie, thanks very much
24:44I bet you got a surprise
24:46Surprise?
24:48Yeah, with the voucher inside the card for 50 euro
24:52Oh
24:54Right, I'll see you tomorrow for the photograph, okay?
25:18Ooh
25:20I'm sorry, but 50 euro is 50 euro
25:24All done Mrs. Brill
25:26Remember you told Buster he'd only make 15 euro with all those empty bottles?
25:30Yeah, why?
25:31Take a look at your Christmas tree
25:36Oh my god, it's beautiful
25:46Yes, it is
25:48250 euro
25:50250 euro
25:52Told you
25:54I'm going back to get the family
25:56They all need to see this
25:58There you go
25:59Don't slam the door
26:00Open the door
26:01You know Christmas time is tough for some people
26:12Buying all the presents
26:14And making the big meals
26:16Aw
26:18You look lovely Mammy
26:20Oh I do though, don't I do?
26:22Here this was dropped in for you
26:24Oh
26:26Now come on, it's photo time
26:28I'll come in after you, go on
26:30You see
26:32It's worth remembering that Christmas is a tradition
26:34And like all traditions
26:36They only die or fade if we allow them to
26:38So I've decided
26:40I don't care how many cards I get or don't get
26:42I'm still sending mine
26:44Oh look at this now, listen to this
26:46Dearest Agnes
26:48Merry Christmas
26:50Meow meow meow
26:52Meow meow
26:54Meow meow
26:56Are you coming Mammy?
26:58I'm coming for God's sake
27:00I'm coming for God's sake
27:02I don't care how many cards I get or don't get
27:04I don't care how many cards I get or don't get
27:06I'm still sending mine
27:08Oh look at this now
27:10Listen to this
27:12Dearest Agnes
27:14Merry Christmas
27:16Meow meow
27:18Are you coming Mammy?
27:22I'm coming for God's sake
27:24For God's sake
27:30What the fu-
27:34Hands up everybody who's family
27:40Good answer
27:46Okay
27:48Come on, say cheese
27:50Cheese
27:54Good night
27:56Happy Christmas
27:58We wish you a Merry Christmas
28:02We wish you a Merry Christmas
28:04We wish you a Merry Christmas
28:06And a Happy New Year
28:08Good tidings we bring
28:10To you and your King
28:12We wish you a Merry Christmas
28:14And a Happy New Year
28:16Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
28:20We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!
28:36Good night! Merry Christmas!
28:41Merry Christmas!
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