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dailyseries20
  • 4 weeks ago
2025 S00 E01 Christmas Special

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:01Where the hell's our cab?
00:03Why can't we just hang here?
00:04Because the only things that hang on Christmas Day
00:06are mistletoe, holly, and then somehow there's tinsel.
00:10Hello? Yes, hi.
00:11There's still no sign of our cab,
00:13and I really need to get to my aunt's for lunch.
00:15Just put you on home? Yes.
00:17Georgie, you're tipping the pavlova. Huh?
00:19The pavlova. You need to keep it upright
00:21or the compote will breach the meringue.
00:23Why did you make this?
00:24Well, Aunt Joan has got this hilarious photo
00:27of me with a pavlova when I was about Manus's age.
00:29And I thought it would be super cute
00:31to recreate it with you two.
00:33We'll have the perfect family Christmas at Aunt Joan's.
00:36She has the biggest tree.
00:38Hello? Yes?
00:39The drive's cancelled, I'm afraid, madam.
00:41What?
00:42Yeah, he's... No, no, you can't cancel.
00:45It's Christmas Day.
00:46Where else am I going to get a cab on Christmas Day?
00:51Merry Christmas, neighbour.
00:53Cute PJs.
00:55Come on, Mal.
00:57Tut-tut.
00:58Daughter, you're tipping the pavlova over.
01:04Okay, what's the address?
01:05Oh, if you just put in Sirencester.
01:07Sirencester?
01:08Amanda, there's practically whales.
01:10You said a quick lift.
01:11You said you had no plans today?
01:13No, I said I planned on doing nothing.
01:15Different thing.
01:16Ned's with his mum.
01:17I was going to crack open the Baileys, order a curry and watch me some Die Hard.
01:21Oh, Mal, how depressing.
01:23At least you have company now.
01:24I don't want company.
01:27Oh, can we just do a small detour?
01:32You having a good creme bar, Felicity?
01:34Not really.
01:35I was supposed to be in South Africa.
01:36But Amanda guilt-tripped me into visiting my sister.
01:39What's wrong with your sister?
01:41She's in nightmares.
01:42No.
01:43It's just all laughter and games and Ender's bloody cheese boards.
01:48She's completely over the top.
01:50She asks us every year, Mummy, and we never go.
01:52It's getting rude.
01:53And I would love the kiddos to have a traditional Cotswoldian Noel
01:58while they're still enchanted by the magic of Christmas.
02:00But does she have a PS5?
02:02No, she doesn't have a PS5, Malice.
02:04I don't even think she has the internet.
02:06Oh.
02:07No way.
02:08Right, Sam.
02:09I should take it.
02:12A little Christmas present for her.
02:14Anne.
02:15Amanda, it's a disaster.
02:16I've been at the airport now for about 14 hours
02:19and they've finally just cancelled our flight to Dublin.
02:21Oh, Anne, no.
02:23What a shame.
02:24Well, look, thanks for keeping me posted.
02:26Chris and the kids want to head to Cork.
02:28I was supposed to join yesterday but because of the storm
02:31I'm completely stranded.
02:32And everybody who I know and love is hundreds of miles away.
02:35Chris, Darius.
02:37Pat, Roisin.
02:38Yes.
02:39Pat.
02:40Her husband, Pat.
02:41Their kids, young Pat.
02:43And Patricia.
02:44Yes.
02:45And Edgar and Barley and Pat.
02:46Yeah.
02:47You know, he froze on our way, actually.
02:48No.
02:49No.
02:50Absolutely not.
02:51No, no, no.
02:52No.
02:53God.
02:54No.
02:55No.
02:56No.
02:57Oh my God.
02:58I miss you all so much.
02:59No.
03:00No.
03:01No.
03:02No.
03:03No.
03:04No.
03:05No.
03:06No.
03:07No.
03:08No.
03:09No.
03:10No.
03:11No.
03:12No.
03:13No.
03:14No.
03:15No.
03:16No.
03:17It's only 11 acres and a ha-ha.
03:19Why is that funny?
03:20No, a ha-ha. It's like a giant ditch.
03:23You should know what a ha-ha is. You're a gardener.
03:25Oh, yeah. I've seen loads of ha-ha's in ha-ha's.
03:31Oh, look! She just put the reindeer out for the kids.
03:35Oh, Mummy, do you remember when Bomber the Shetland tried to mount one?
03:39God, that was funny.
03:41This is why I don't go to therapy. Some memories are best repressed.
03:47Look at the bags. Here we go. Look at the pages.
03:50Okay, come and come on. Let's have a bit of festive cheer.
03:55Guys, off the phones now, please.
03:57Guys.
03:59Guys.
04:00Right, give me those. Dad just gave us that.
04:02What? Dad's from Dad?
04:03If we learn nothing from adolescence.
04:04And, Anne, this is my Christmas happy place, so please don't be a Debbie Downer.
04:08Okay, everyone.
04:10Here we go.
04:11Ding dong, Merrilee!
04:13Oh, I love you. I'm so sorry.
04:16I'm sorry about all the gloves.
04:18You've caught me mid-giblet.
04:20Oh, goodness.
04:21No, not the coach.
04:22Merry Christmas.
04:23Oh, I'm so sorry to spring this on you.
04:24It's been a bit of a disaster.
04:25Is it cool if my mum friend, Anne, joins us?
04:28So?
04:29Yes.
04:30Oh, Anne.
04:31Of course.
04:32You look like you need a stiff drink.
04:33Thank you, but no.
04:34If I can't be with my family, then what's the point?
04:37Oh, dear girl, come in.
04:38Come in, come in.
04:39This is a divorce, is it?
04:41No, it's Storm Geraldine.
04:42Storm Geraldine.
04:43Merry Christmas.
04:44For me?
04:45Wow.
04:46No.
04:47Manus Georgie.
04:48No, no, no, no.
04:49I don't believe it.
04:51No, I won't touch you.
04:52No, don't.
04:53Don't touch them.
04:54We'll hug in a moment.
04:55Come in.
04:56Don't touch them.
04:57They're gorgeous.
04:58They're gorgeous.
04:59Thank you, Mal.
05:00This is the last of the bags.
05:01That's great.
05:02Thanks so much.
05:03Shannon, you didn't tell me you're bringing a lover.
05:04Mal lives in my cellar.
05:05It's not my mother.
05:06No, he just drove us here.
05:07It's all right.
05:08Wink, wink.
05:09Lord the merrier.
05:10No, no, no.
05:11He's fine.
05:12He has plans.
05:13Have you got plans?
05:14Yeah.
05:15I was just going to use your loo if I may before I nip off.
05:16I've got a date with John McLean.
05:17John McLean?
05:18No, fantastic.
05:19You're a homosexual.
05:20It's a die-hard reference.
05:21I was going to watch it with a curry.
05:23Oh, God.
05:24How ghastly.
05:25You will stay for a pre-prandial.
05:26Come on.
05:27What's pre-prandial?
05:28It's a posh word for a drink.
05:29Yeah.
05:30Yeah.
05:31Okay, Pat.
05:32Can you put Chris back on?
05:35Yeah, so I have an alert set up on my phone for when the flights reopen and if you could
05:40just have everyone there checking the internet.
05:42Where should I put my coat down then?
05:44Oh, keep it on.
05:45This house is bloody freezing.
05:47Isn't it magical?
05:49It's giving hardcore Narnia vibes, right?
05:53I mean, wow.
05:56That's what I call a tree.
06:02Is it plastic?
06:03Oh, my God.
06:04She's still got that.
06:06Daddy bought that in the 70s.
06:08Probably the newest thing in this place.
06:10How odd.
06:11I distinctly remember the scent of pine needles.
06:14No, this house smells the way it's always smelled.
06:17Damp.
06:18Dogs.
06:19Desperation.
06:20Now, I've been absolutely dying for you to arrive.
06:26I've got everything here.
06:27We've got some olives over there.
06:29There's this trout pate.
06:30We've got mini quiches, prawn volovores and these really fun things from Marks and Spencer's.
06:36Mini burgers.
06:37Have you seen these?
06:38Oh, oh, oh, oh.
06:39No, no, no, no, no.
06:41We'll have to clean that one up, won't we?
06:45Joni?
06:46Where should I put the pavlova?
06:48Oh, is that Granny Gush's recipe?
06:50Yes, it is.
06:51Minus the powdered egg.
06:52I thought it might be fun to recreate that famous pudding photo from that amazing Christmas.
06:58Yes.
06:59Yeah.
07:00I've got it in the oven.
07:01Oh, you won't do?
07:02Dig it out.
07:03Everybody dig in.
07:04Flick.
07:05Deviled egg.
07:06Have a deviled egg.
07:07Flick.
07:08Deviled egg.
07:09Egg.
07:10Flick.
07:11Deviled egg.
07:12Fine.
07:13I think it's under here somewhere.
07:15Now, where's that famous photo?
07:18Ah.
07:19Wow.
07:20Oh.
07:21Oh.
07:22Yes.
07:23Now, look at that.
07:24Look at that.
07:25Oh, it is.
07:26Look at Gan Gan.
07:27What a hottie.
07:28Is that you, Mum?
07:30Yeah, that was me pre-blossom.
07:32Just on the cusp of discovering clearosil and wonderbras.
07:35Oh, my goodness.
07:36Look at that.
07:37I'm wearing the same jumper.
07:38Oh, Joe, no.
07:39Stop.
07:40That's perfect.
07:41I thought it'd be really fun to restage the photo with Manus and George.
07:45Mmm.
07:46So the Hemsworth brothers did one sitting on their mum's lap and it pretty much broke the internet.
07:50I remember the Hemsworth brothers.
07:52Hmm?
07:53Hemsworth brothers.
07:54Yes, you stepped out with one.
07:55They had the tractor dealership in Ampney St. Peter.
07:58That was the Hemswood brothers.
08:00Hemswood.
08:01Yeah, I slept with all three of them.
08:02Oh, well done you.
08:04And you.
08:05And the father.
08:06Mummy.
08:07Oh, Johnny good.
08:08Now, drink your poos.
08:09Oh, damn.
08:10What's that?
08:11Oh, I didn't know.
08:12What's in those ones?
08:13Oh, is that you, Flick?
08:15No one must see those.
08:18Yep.
08:19Yep.
08:20Yep.
08:21Yep.
08:22Yep.
08:23What the...
08:26This house is literally freezing.
08:32My family will be back for mass about now.
08:36Do you think Jesus will punish me for missing his birthday?
08:39You know what you need, eh?
08:40Slow gin.
08:41Very good for melancholia.
08:43The night my father died, I drank two bottles as right as rain in the morning.
08:47I suppose I could have a small glass just to steady the nerves because, um, I don't think
08:52I've ever done a Christmas without my family.
08:54No, no, no, no.
08:55None of that now.
08:56Come on.
08:57Get that down your gullet.
09:01Gah!
09:02Yes, got a kick to it.
09:03Gah!
09:04That's the 1978 vintage, the year you were born.
09:06Oh, actually.
09:07Now, what do the children want?
09:08What can we get for them?
09:09Uh, do you have any prime?
09:10No, no, no.
09:11Prime?
09:12Don't worry.
09:13He'll have a Coca-Cola.
09:14I've got a cola.
09:15I've got a can of cola here.
09:16Yep.
09:17There we go.
09:18Lovely.
09:19Oh.
09:22Come on.
09:24Oh.
09:25I think that's seen better days.
09:26Ludo can have that.
09:27Ludo!
09:28Ludo!
09:29Ludo!
09:30Look what's here!
09:31Jane.
09:32Oh, no.
09:33For your Christmas present.
09:34Oh, no.
09:35Yes, it's just for the children.
09:36Oh, that's marvellous.
09:37I don't believe it.
09:38That's tremendous of you.
09:39Stop it.
09:40Stop it.
09:41Stop it.
09:42Stop it.
09:43Look at that.
09:44Wow-wee.
09:45Oh.
09:46Oh, my goodness.
09:47No, Joan.
09:48It's the bath.
09:49The bath.
09:50Joan.
09:51And I've swallowed it.
09:52I'll have a bath later, darling.
09:54I'll have a bath later.
09:55Didn't I just gift you that?
09:58Yes.
09:59I loved it so much that I went out and bought exactly the same one for Aunt Jane.
10:04I need ice in my whisky.
10:06Oh, you'll find plenty in the toilet.
10:08Oh, no.
10:09Will you come in here and sit down, please?
10:10Oh, thank you.
10:11Um, I was actually gonna hit the road.
10:13Oh, no, no.
10:14We're not having you spending a day alone.
10:15You and Anne are our Christmas guests of honour, so sit.
10:18Oh.
10:19I've got a goose to go and get out of the oven.
10:21I've never been anyone's Christmas guest of honour before.
10:25It says the same one.
10:27Oh, this.
10:28To Amanda.
10:29I went out and bought exactly the same one for Joan without this given it.
10:32I don't know.
10:33Luncheon is served!
10:34Ooh.
10:35Lovely.
10:36Come on.
10:37Oh, those are the photos.
10:38Ganggan doesn't want anyone seeing.
10:40Come on, boys.
10:47No.
10:48Tell them, yes, it's a larger box, but it's actually the same value gift,
10:51because I went by money spent.
10:52Anne.
10:53Not by value.
10:54Anne.
10:55No devices, please.
10:56I have to go.
10:57OK.
11:00Oh, well, don't sit there.
11:01Sorry, because of the photos.
11:02We need to match the old pavlova pics, so, yeah.
11:04Mummy needs to sit there.
11:05Joan's here.
11:06Mummy, you're here.
11:07No, I need a clear line to an exit.
11:09Well, OK.
11:10Well, well, yeah.
11:12We can all move round for pudding.
11:15Here it goes!
11:16Oh!
11:17Wow!
11:18Wait, Joan, stop, stop, stop, stop.
11:19Can you go back in and come back out?
11:20I want to film it.
11:21For the memories.
11:22Just tuck in.
11:23Tuck in.
11:24Tuck in.
11:25Tuck in.
11:26Tuck in.
11:27Tuck in.
11:28It's going to be so good.
11:29Anne, could you just lean out because of the taste stains?
11:30I just miss my family.
11:31You know, Anne.
11:32Anne.
11:33Yes?
11:34Goosey, goosey, Anne.
11:35Oh, look at that.
11:36Well, dig in.
11:37We've got a side of beef, Yorkshires, a ham, and some little piggies and blankets.
11:41Mum, just eat it, it's Christmas.
11:43Hmm?
11:44What?
11:45I'm vegan.
11:46Oh, shit.
11:47Are you?
11:48It's fine.
11:49I'll just eat the veg.
11:50No, she won't.
11:51Not just eat the veg.
11:52Not on my watch.
11:53She won't.
11:54I said, well, I'll, I'll, I'll rustle up a, er, a souffle.
11:57Oh, God, Joan.
11:58Do you see what I mean?
12:00It's just too much.
12:02She's just trying to make us all happy, mummy.
12:05And, er, did you, did you notice the stuffed stoat in the hallway?
12:10No.
12:11No?
12:12Oh, let me show you quickly.
12:13I'm not that into stoats.
12:15Yes, but, erm, honestly, I think you'll find this one very interesting.
12:23Yeah, I don't know who told you that I was into stoats, but actually this one is, is quite unusual.
12:28Okay, listen, forget the stoat.
12:29I just saw some pictures of Felicity I wasn't supposed to see, and now I can't unsee what I saw.
12:34God, they weren't nudies, were they?
12:36No, they're not nudies.
12:37Is anyone wearing a Nazi uniform?
12:39No, there's no nots.
12:41Just look.
12:42Oh, blimey O'Reilly, is that...
12:46Is that Felicity and...
12:48Sir Mick Jagger?
12:49Yes, looks like they're on holiday together.
12:51Oh, Jesus, he was such a ride back then.
12:53Yeah, looks like he was riding Felicity.
12:55OMG, is...
12:57Is she pregnant?
12:59Yes, and look, she's holding her stomach.
13:02And?
13:03Summer of 77.
13:06Joan just said that Amanda was born in 78.
13:08Uh-huh.
13:09You don't think Sir Mick Jagger is...
13:11Mmm...
13:13No.
13:14No, no, no.
13:15Don't be ridiculous.
13:16I've seen enough episodes of Ally McBeal to know this is all purely circumstantial evidence.
13:20Just because it goes clip-clap doesn't mean it's a zebra.
13:23Guys, come on.
13:24We're about to eat.
13:25We're about to eat.
13:30I want to win!
13:31I want to win!
13:32Here we are.
13:33This is lovely.
13:34Let me get this on first.
13:35Yes, yes, yes.
13:36I'll need my glasses on.
13:37Here we go.
13:38Joke.
13:39Why didn't Santa pay for his sleigh?
13:42Mmm.
13:43Why didn't Santa have to pay for his sleigh?
13:45Because it was on the house.
13:47Oh, I get it.
13:49Oh.
13:50That's so bad.
13:51It's actually quite good.
13:52Oh, I know another joke.
13:53How do you titillate an ocelot?
13:54I've no idea, Joan.
13:55How do you titillate an ocelot?
13:57You oscillate its tits a lot.
13:59That's brilliant.
14:01Oh, dear.
14:02Not like she bloody wrote it.
14:04Come on, Flick.
14:05Your turn.
14:06Grandma.
14:07Here we go.
14:08Mummy!
14:09Mummy, put the hat on.
14:10You'll need it for the pavlova photo.
14:11No, I don't do paper hats.
14:12Flick, do the joke.
14:13Where's the joke?
14:14I don't do jokes.
14:15Come on, Mummy.
14:16It's Christmas.
14:17Come on, Flick.
14:18Flick, Flick, Flick, Flick, Flick, Flick, Flick.
14:21Do the joke.
14:22Do the joke.
14:23Do the joke.
14:24Do the joke.
14:25Whee!
14:26Come on.
14:27What is the coldest country in the world?
14:29I don't know.
14:30What is the coldest country in the world?
14:34Russia.
14:39I think you're reading the trivia there, Felicity.
14:45Oh, Mummy.
14:46Where are you going, Mummy?
14:47We haven't done the photo.
14:48I'm going to watch the King's Speech.
14:49Oh, is it that time?
14:51Oh, I love the King's Speech.
14:53Brilliant.
14:54Everyone fill a glass.
14:55Let's go and sit.
14:56We can do the pavlova we're after.
14:58Flick, Flick.
14:59Don't wait for us.
15:00Wait for us.
15:01We're soon.
15:02Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
15:04Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
15:34This is the most delicious cab I've ever drank.
15:36It's not Carver, it's champagne.
15:38Real champagne?
15:39Yes.
15:40From France?
15:41Yes.
15:42I've never had French champagne from France before.
15:45Stop fussing, I can't see the television.
15:47Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
15:50I think Joan is lovely.
15:52Classic Stockholm Syndrome.
15:54Are you a big fan of the royal family, Felicity?
15:57Oh, I've met a few of them.
15:59Miller's a laugh.
16:00I've probably met a few members of the rock royal family in your time.
16:04Oh.
16:05I once lived next door but one to Christoburg.
16:07Ah, right, pavlova time!
16:10Oh, finally!
16:11Get the camera.
16:12I don't want pavlova.
16:13Mummy, you can't always get what you want.
16:16Um, actually I can't think of food for a bit, Amanda.
16:20I overdid it on the parsnips.
16:22You don't have to eat it.
16:23It's just a photo.
16:24Oh, I know what we'll do.
16:25We'll have a parlour game while we all digest.
16:27Who'd like a round of Are You There, Moriarty?
16:29I don't know what that is.
16:31Well, what about, um, Ho-ha-hee?
16:33Do you know that one?
16:34Oh, the minister's cat.
16:35Do you know that one?
16:36No, no, no.
16:37Pass the slipper.
16:38No.
16:39Fan the candle.
16:40You must know hot cockles.
16:41Hot cockles!
16:42What else have we got?
16:43Elephants fought elephants.
16:44Oh, for God's sake, why don't we just play hide and seek?
16:46Oh, that's a terrific idea.
16:47This is so much fun.
16:48Well done, that girl.
16:49I'll count 50.
16:50Off you go.
16:51Off you go.
16:52Off you go.
16:53And then after this, we'll do the public.
16:54Right, I'll start now.
16:55Come on.
16:56One.
16:57Two.
16:58I've started.
16:59Two.
17:00I've started.
17:01Three.
17:02Four.
17:03Anything to get away from her.
17:04Better hurry.
17:05Five.
17:06Six.
17:07Seven.
17:08Eight.
17:09Nine.
17:10Eight.
17:11Nine.
17:12Ten.
17:13I know Chris, but I don't know what you expect me to do about it.
17:16I can't make a put on a shoe.
17:18I'm 300 miles away.
17:19Look, I really have to go.
17:24Bloody hell.
17:26Other people's Christmases are mental.
17:28When are we going to tell her?
17:30What?
17:31Absolutely never.
17:32It's not our family secret, so we're going to forget we ever saw those photos.
17:35But we did see those photos, Mal.
17:37And I really think Amanda deserves to know.
17:40What do I deserve to know?
17:42What the hell are you hiding?
17:44Yeah.
17:45We're playing hide and seek.
17:46What do I deserve to know?
17:49Ask Mal.
17:50Oh, thanks, Anne.
17:51Will someone tell me what's going on?
17:52Show her the photos.
18:00Are these pictures of my mum on holiday?
18:04What's the big deal?
18:05Look who she's with.
18:06Is that Mick Jagger?
18:08Mm-hmm.
18:09What are you?
18:10Minx.
18:11Sitting on Mick's lap.
18:12I sat on Prince Harry's lap when I was in Mahiki once.
18:15Did I get a mention in the book?
18:16Oh, my God.
18:19She's pregnant.
18:21That's hardly a secret.
18:22Keep looking.
18:23She's smoking.
18:26No.
18:27No.
18:28No.
18:29Look at the date on the back of the folder.
18:30Okay.
18:31Okay.
18:32Look who's holding the bump.
18:33No.
18:34No way.
18:35No way.
18:36Is my father...
18:4049...
18:4149...
18:4250.
18:43No way.
18:44No way.
18:45Quick, I don't even know.
18:46Do you know?
18:47Uh...
18:48What's your name?
18:49What's your name?
18:50What's your name?
18:51Is that an ear in government?
18:53Okay.
18:54What's your name?
18:55Oh, my lips.
18:56Probably quite glitz.
18:57Probably quite glitz.
18:59Oh, God.
19:00It's a snifter.
19:01Ah!
19:02Ah!
19:03It's a snifter.
19:04Ah!
19:05Ah!
19:06Ah!
19:07Ah!
19:08Ah!
19:09Ah!
19:10Ah!
19:11Ah!
19:13Ah!
19:14Ah!
19:15Ah!
19:16Ah!
19:17Ah!
19:18Ah!
19:19Ah!
19:20Ah!
19:21Ah!
19:22Ah!
19:23it's so weird isn't it when you look at us together now look now look now can you open
19:34that door please i need some air i mean it's a shock but it's also not a shock you know because
19:40it explains a lot i mean i wonder if the man i thought was my father ever knew the truth
19:46poor daddy well this must be why my parents divorced baby joan told them that must be why we never see
19:56joan that sounds about right can't you just put my sleeve please look i'll get some layers off
20:02where are you
20:11can't get under there
20:17hoist by your own petard there ann i think oh my goodness
20:28my system's not used to champagne no come on more to find
20:33present now
20:38another little slifter
20:41oh gotcha oh please don't tell mom i won't if you won't
20:53shh oh i'm scared
20:58oh i'm on my way
21:02oh i fated i fated
21:06oh ding dong christmas comes once a year
21:10do you know i knew you two were loved
21:12we not he just drove us here
21:14i had to take some clothes off
21:16cats out the bag joanie i've seen the photos
21:21oh yeah spill the tea
21:24right uh well i suppose it's only a matter of time but listen
21:28you're going to have to speak to your mother about those
21:30where is she
21:31i'm buggered if i know because i've searched the whole house
21:34oh darling you stay with your paramour
21:36oh have you finished finished
21:37can i have some water please
21:40that's all i'm gonna say
21:42right okay let's split up i'll take the lawn
21:50joan you do the meadow
21:51and um and you and the kids check the drive
21:55okay
21:55felicity
21:58would you look at this
22:03christmas night
22:05i'd still be doing the washing up at home if i was there right now
22:09yeah not standing here
22:11looking at the stars
22:14sorry hang on sorry
22:17oh god
22:18oh great
22:21what
22:21there's a flight out of heathrow tonight
22:24that's good news isn't it
22:26yeah
22:26great air great
22:28yes
22:29all i have to do now is just
22:33click this link to confirm
22:37oh no would you look at that
22:39my phone's off to running out of battery
22:40oh no what a shame
22:42um
22:43just guess it wasn't meant to be
22:45huh
22:46what a bummer
22:47just got to end up
22:50staying here
22:51yeah
22:52hey do you know what
22:53i'm gonna go for a walk
22:56yeah
22:58felicity
22:59yeah this is just
23:02it's better than carver
23:04felicity
23:05according to wikipedia
23:07i have eight
23:08brothers and sisters
23:09jay jagger came in once
23:13when i was at
23:14covardis
23:15i wonder did she know
23:18felicity
23:19felicity
23:19it's mad
23:21i think i could be spending next christmas with them in turks and cacos
23:24whoa
23:26amanda
23:27ow
23:27i just fell in the ha ha
23:30you all right
23:32yes i am all right mal
23:34why are you laughing
23:36you fell in a ha ha
23:37who falls in a ha ha
23:39stop it's not funny
23:41you fell in a ha ha
23:42come on
23:43get up
23:45amanda
23:47i'm so sorry
23:48oh my god
23:49oh you know what
23:50thank you so much for today
23:51really
23:54it beats lying on a couch
23:56for the curry in halls
23:57is that june's dog
24:04mummy
24:05mummy
24:08felicity
24:09happy now
24:12what ludo
24:15wait
24:15ludo
24:17what
24:18oh
24:20what did you say
24:23ah ha
24:32ah ha
24:32very away in a manger
24:34ah
24:35i knew it was too good to last
24:37well you're the last one to be found so
24:38that makes you the winner
24:39yes bravo that girl
24:41i tell you what
24:42i could do you a big scoop of the stilton
24:44and i'll crack open a bottle of port
24:46stop
24:46you don't have to have port
24:47just stop talking
24:48please
24:49it's too much
24:50it's christmas
24:51it's supposed to be too much
24:52no you're too much
24:53all this is about a fever
24:54and endless glee
24:55and everything
24:56it's just
24:56it's just
24:57just stop
24:58please
24:59okay
25:01stop
25:05please don't cry
25:13i'm not crying
25:14come on joanie
25:15this is what happens
25:17when you stop
25:18the old black dog creeps in
25:20oh come on
25:21the potest life together
25:22the potest life together jones
25:23why are you being like this
25:25well because of you flick
25:27what nonsense
25:29do you remember what they used to
25:30call us on that ghastly old debutante circuit
25:34great hair
25:36and spare
25:38actually that's all the good
25:40yeah it's all about the beautiful felicity wyndham
25:43and i was just the podgy little sister so i decided to be the life and soul of the party
25:49hostess with the mostess the last one standing at the barn dance
25:53and i can tell you something after sixty bloody years it's exhausting
26:00why didn't you ever see anything before
26:03oh
26:04well it took amanda to twist your arm to get you down here
26:08mommy
26:09oh it's her
26:10oh yeah yes we're here we're here hello
26:14there she is
26:18you know i've spent the whole day trying to recreate the perfect family christmas but it turns out my whole life has been a lie
26:29for god's sake amanda stop being so melodramatic
26:32look let's go inside and do your moment with the pavlovas
26:35yes
26:35no mommy
26:36i know your secret
26:37and i know joe knows
26:40and that's why you didn't want to come here
26:41because you were worried she'd
26:43spill the beans
26:45what is she talking about
26:49mommy
26:51i've seen the photos
26:54i have in my hand
26:56the proof
26:57i'm sir mick jagger's love child
27:01what
27:08give those to me
27:10give those to me
27:11that's not mick jagger
27:17that's our cousin rosamund
27:19oh god i mean she was rather jagger-esque don't you think
27:22look with the slim hips and everything
27:23oh my god did you get her round robin this year
27:25they had to put down pinky
27:27okay so if mick jagger isn't holding your pregnant belly then what is the big deal
27:31why didn't you want anyone to see them
27:33look the thing is i wasn't pregnant in this photograph i was
27:36fat
27:37fat
27:38what it was the 70s i'd just discovered black forest gatto
27:43and that's our big family secret that you were once fat for a summer
27:49yes
27:50yes
27:51though your father rather liked it
27:54and you were conceived on that holiday
27:56oh god
27:58oh god
27:59i just sent georgia mate jagger a dm
28:04can we uh
28:10what was she thinking
28:12oh sorry joanie
28:14oh it's all right it's all right honestly
28:16merry christmas
28:17merry christmas
28:18if it's any consolation
28:21i always felt that ma and pa loved you more than they loved me
28:25oh well
28:26i'd have swapped that any day for a go on a hemswood brother
28:29ooh
28:30is that singing yes it's anne
28:36she's falling in the hollow hollow she'll be fine come on
28:52and then john mclean ties this hose pipe around his waist because he thinks the guy in the helicopter's
28:57gonna shoot him so he's got no way out so he ties himself in nice and tight
29:02is he topless
29:03no no no but by this point he's down to his vest
29:06how is this a christmas film
29:09what
29:10you all right
29:11of course it's a christmas film
29:12yeah
29:13anyway
29:14just a helicopter
29:15i'm sorry mick jagger wasn't your father
29:17i just thought that
29:20that i was special
29:23you are special
29:25there's fireball above him
29:27everyone is watching from the paper down below
29:29and they're like
29:30yo
29:31of all it's worth i'm sorry you didn't get to sleep with a rolling stone
29:34well i did sleep with mick once or twice back in the day but
29:37not in a way that you would get pregnant
29:39right everyone we're going to do amanda's photo
29:42oh mommy
29:43what
29:44really
29:45shall i get the pavlova
29:46really
29:47i mean i could take the pavlova
29:48no guys you're all in it
29:49come on
29:50there we go
29:51everyone ready
29:52yeah
29:53i'll just do the timer hang on
29:54oh no no
29:56quickly quickly hang on
29:57hang on
29:58okay everybody quickly come on everybody
29:59shh
30:00shh
30:01shh
30:02shh
30:03cheese
30:04cheese
30:05oh
30:06ah
30:07there's a girl that likes a pudding
30:08there's a girl that likes a pudding
30:09no
30:12but
30:13a
30:19who
30:20and
30:21who
30:22and
30:23can
30:24get
30:25to
30:27him
30:28and
30:29him
30:31he
30:32yeah
30:33i
30:34he
30:35thank you
30:36and
30:36so
30:37You
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