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Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing S08E03
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00:00This is the Manchester Iron Open.
00:04Right, so you take me back to your old holts, are you?
00:07Oh, you said you're not interested in the past?
00:09No, I'm not really interested.
00:11But really interested.
00:14So this is Withenshaw.
00:16I like the way you said the with there.
00:18Withenshaw?
00:19This is Withenshaw.
00:21I'm sure I administered law round here somewhere.
00:25There it is!
00:27What?
00:28Talk me through it. Withenshaw Law Centre.
00:31Yeah, so people would come along and would check their benefits.
00:34Yeah.
00:35Help them with housing repairs, damp accommodation, that sort of thing.
00:38And I was half expecting at that point, Paul,
00:41that I might get a round of applause for my contribution
00:44to the social welfare of Manchester.
00:46Yeah, no, fair play. You deserve one. Here you go, look.
00:48Oh, here we go. Thank you.
00:50There you are, for your social conscience and good works, you know.
00:5330 or 40 years ago. You haven't got a social conscience now, have you?
00:56All right, there's a little barb at the end, yeah.
00:58You're always a sting in the tail.
00:59So as I remember, Paul, I think I was in that office at the right there.
01:04There was three of us, three solicitors.
01:10Oi.
01:11I was talking then, Paul.
01:13Yeah.
01:14I was telling you about the Law Centre.
01:16Yeah, you've talked till morning.
01:18Less talk, more fishing, all right?
01:20OK.
01:21So, Paul, this is urban fishing.
01:30Yeah.
01:31This is a canal.
01:32I really like it.
01:33Nice, isn't it?
01:34Fantastic.
01:35The Rochdale Canal.
01:36Right.
01:37It's very important to me, this place, where I spent many a happy year.
01:42I was working, grafting, dancing.
01:46Really, I spent a lot of time there at the end there.
01:47Did you?
01:48Shaking your booty.
01:49Oh, morning.
01:50Morning.
01:51Shaking your booty, yeah?
01:53Look.
01:54Yes, you've got new boots, Paul.
01:55Well done.
01:56Where did you get them from?
01:57They're clearly a big one.
01:58Yeah.
01:59Yeah.
02:00They're certainly not a pensioner boot.
02:01Yes they are.
02:02They've got that white sole.
02:03Yeah, they're for a rugged outdoors type.
02:04But look at these, they're so much more subtle.
02:05They suit my longer leg as well.
02:06I'll tell you what the big difference is.
02:07The big difference is that you have your hair.
02:08You have to look at these, you have to look at these.
02:09Really?
02:10I spent a lot of time at the air.
02:11Yeah, I spent a lot of time at the air, at the end there.
02:12Did you?
02:13Shaking your booty?
02:14Oh, morning.
02:15Morning.
02:16Morning.
02:17Morning.
02:18Shaking your booty, yeah?
02:19Shaking your booty.
02:20Look.
02:21Yeah, look.
02:22Yeah, you've got new boots, Paul.
02:23Where did you get them from?
02:24These are so much more subtle.
02:26They suit my longer leg as well.
02:28I'll tell you what the big difference here is, Paul.
02:30Yeah?
02:31Gentleman's boot, ladies' boot.
02:34That really looks like a ladies' orthopedic shoe.
02:37Little wiggling boot.
02:38Mine's like, get up that mountain.
02:50So what might we catch in here?
02:52Maybe some little roach, gudgeon, bleak, perch.
02:58Basically the staple of my fishing when I was a kid.
03:00I used to fish canals like this when I was a kid, Bob.
03:03You caught a fish?
03:04He's got one already.
03:05Little perch, look.
03:06Check out Whitehouse's catch.
03:07As I said.
03:08Wow!
03:10I'll tell you what, though.
03:11You knock the little perch at your peril, Bob,
03:13because they save you an angler on many a day.
03:16So first cast, Paul.
03:18Yep.
03:20Bye-bye, little perchy.
03:22Hello, Ted.
03:23I'll tell you what, this place is a Muppet's town, isn't it?
03:26Get me back to London.
03:27It's not a real city.
03:28Hello, Teddy.
03:29You all right, Ted?
03:31Yeah, so I lived in Manchester for two, three years.
03:35I loved it here.
03:36Really loved it.
03:37What were you doing here, Bob?
03:38I don't see you as Manchester, really.
03:40I was a student doing the law finals, and it was my one and only happy experience as a student.
03:47What was being in Manchester?
03:48Being in Manchester.
03:49I was a student.
03:50Where were you?
03:51Where else were you a student?
03:52Were you somewhere like Leicester?
03:53I was at Leicester, and I was at the University of Sussex near Brighton.
03:58Why did you do the rounds at all these places, Bob?
04:01Because I didn't want to face real life, you know?
04:05So I came to Manchester.
04:08Yeah.
04:09And fell in love with the place.
04:11And it was because of one young lad at the time, called Paddy Goal.
04:16Because three years at Sussex, two years at Leicester, I'd never met anyone.
04:21I couldn't meet people, Paul.
04:23And I turned up on the first day here, and a little Scouse lad, all right.
04:30I wore a Middlesbrough football top to try and say, look, I'm this type of person.
04:34You've tried that a few times.
04:35I tried it at Brighton, it didn't work.
04:37And little Paddy came up to me and said, all right, lad.
04:40I was thinking we'd start a football team.
04:43And that was the most amazing gift.
04:47Really?
04:48Oh, wow, yeah.
04:49And I had a really fabulous year here.
04:51With Paddy, Bendy, the walrus.
04:55Bendy?
04:56Yeah, Bendy Chris.
04:58The walrus.
04:59Big Tash, obviously.
05:01Jonah.
05:03Whoa.
05:04You're getting a lot of bites here, Bob.
05:06And, Paul, this is absolutely true.
05:07This is the thing.
05:08Yeah.
05:09Two weeks ago, I got a letter from Paddy.
05:13Did you?
05:14Yeah.
05:15Just telling me what had happened to Bendy and all our mates that we were around with.
05:18What happened to Bendy?
05:19He straightened out and he...
05:21Keep the mood.
05:22So, hence.
05:24Yes.
05:25That's kind of the reason we're right in the middle of here.
05:28I've asked Paddy to come along, say hello.
05:30I haven't seen him for, I reckon, 30 years.
05:32You're joking.
05:3330 years.
05:34But he was so important in me life, you know.
05:40Yeah.
05:41But...
05:42You're down just a bridge.
05:43Yes.
05:44I know.
05:45There he goes.
05:46You're in them without knowing it.
05:47That's angling Paul.
05:48You're fishing.
05:49I'm angling.
05:50I like it.
05:51I like it.
05:52Bob Bob Bob Bob yes I know you're in there without knowing that's angling Paul you're
06:00fishing I'm angling oh you and I can like the distinction look he saw your boots and
06:10he went and when he saw that the person who'd caught him was wearing your boots he thought
06:17I'm off
06:29your line it's a bit grim in it Bob I didn't even put suitable wet weather clothing on look at it
06:38should we seek shelter under the bridge I think we should don't you
06:43eminent good they're building are they they don't know why but they're building
07:02cold stop how do they get them cranes up there I don't know Bob
07:07paddy's on his way Bob I'm gonna go and do some jigging really yeah do you remember this oh
07:21you're a little sort of debonair yeah debonair you mean debonums there we are go with your booty
07:29you look good man okay boy chance Marie thank you old lady walking god them boots Paul
07:38buddy how you doing mate oh man how long is it since I've seen you you're taller than me now
07:57incredible how are you 30 years or something it's not this century you haven't seen it this
08:03it's true isn't it yeah yeah it's great to see you my best student year was here in Manchester it
08:13was great we had a good time didn't we we were out nearly every night weren't we yep and er we used
08:19to drink five pints and then we'd er we'd go home and we'd get a Mongolian cheeseburger yeah yeah from a
08:26little place on Oxford Road I mean this was a great place wasn't it for a young person it was chief
08:31February was chief 50p to get in the hacienda and 50p for a pint incredible wasn't it was my best
08:37year as well because it was authentic wasn't it was a really authentic student experience yeah
08:42you're part of a great city and there was loads going on he's phone hello paddy I'll see you yeah
08:48nice to meet you have you caught anything no no he's got a fishing head on buddy I'll see you in a bit
08:53cheers the other big thing about the year was the footy wasn't football yeah because you're a good
09:05player weren't you I wasn't on the quiet a decent you do you do you remember me specialist tackle me
09:10Peter Beardsley yeah yeah remember your back header you scored a winner with the back header did I mean
09:17to no yeah no it was great year and we had this little group me you bendy Jonah the walrus and we
09:25had a lovely time we did it's all that matters in life in it those connections it's all that matters
09:30so when did you pack in the law god I don't know yeah I was there 29 30 right so and you're going
09:43back to it presumably one day I was dead yeah they won't be back yeah no we did talk about having our
09:50own fair one time did we really yeah it wouldn't last a very long would it god no no we did just had
09:55bacon bombs and talked about footy wouldn't we you know yeah it's been brilliant seeing you after
10:03all these years yeah Paddy thank you for popping down so the next time we'd be about a hundred won't
10:07we you'd be about hundreds yeah
10:08yeah that's it yeah that's it yeah I'm coming in a minute you're a good boy
10:27Paddy you seem like a very nice guy very calm yeah no sweet sweet God it's it's bittersweet in
10:40some ways because we we had such a lovely time me and Paddy here yeah but it also you know we're
10:45talking about seeing the Smiths at the hacienda and yeah drinking and all the things we did and you
10:52can't help remembering we was quite young and vibrant yeah big old group of mates playing
10:58football and that and that's all good so there's a like a bit sweet in that sense yeah but you had
11:04it didn't you Bob you had it you know yeah still there on it and the the thing is is I think there's
11:09a lesson to be learned because I was a shy lad I know you don't believe me and there's shy lads all
11:14over the place and so that little gift of just letting them into all right yeah oh here oh you up to
11:21them because I think a lot of the shy ones are worth having a chat to you know some won't be
11:26yeah but you might be right there Bob actually but what a great gift to give so no it was brilliant
11:32yeah I do again
11:33happiness more or less it's just you changing me something in my liberty
11:53well Paul we've done the urban fishing yeah I think it's time that I took you to the accommodation
12:07it may be the highest accommodation I've ever put you in it might even be the most luxurious
12:16because what we're lacking in luxury here yeah I'm gonna make up oh now you're talking
12:23but I'm a lucky man with fire in my hands happiness something in my own place I'm studio naked smile and I feel no disgrace
12:43this is a bit fresh Bob yeah I think you know this is gonna be good don't you yeah come on Teddy
12:50come on Ted nice nice room Bob yeah the bedrooms are identical Paul whoa oh look at this 15 stories
13:01well highest I've ever stayed is it a footballer style Bob yeah this actual building Paul you know
13:07it's Manchester yeah and when the players from abroad come they stay here luxury life isn't it it is yeah
13:13oh hello Ted and this is my room Teddy nice room Bob you'll like yours what's who here oh oh you beauty
13:28Paul yeah come through here baby welcome there was a third undocumented bedroom that they're now
13:43calling Bob's bedroom oh who's they everyone from the mayor downwards hey Paul there's more come through
13:54here have a look at that have a look at this oh you look Paul it's got a sink for your left hand
14:02sink for your right hand right bath overlooked by many other high dwellers no yeah see yeah like it
14:11do you wish it was yours I'm not going to give you the benefit of envy Bob on my part you're not getting
14:17it all right yeah you do it with your boots though don't you
14:24are we going to get takeaway get something delivered yeah what do you fancy Paul Mexican
14:32hmm Thai I like Thai well you're not having it because I'm getting fish and chips oh are we
14:38fish and chips yeah I'm fish and chips oh okay oh I'll tell you what you're having you're having gravy
14:44you know it's a new thing graze now is to have a gravy gravy's not new Bob it's not a new no but to have
14:49it with your fish all right I'll try it it says it will be that ain't bad go on 20 minutes that's
14:57all right that's tolerable and that is because I've got a 20-minute hole there okay yeah I'll come and
15:04join you have you ever lived up north no I haven't actually furthest north you've been somewhere like
15:15Harrow or something like that I've been to John O'Groats how limited you you are I've been to many
15:20places yeah but yeah perhaps I'm not as adventurous to some men now they will go off backtracking then
15:25they ran a wall they're amazing aren't they do you remember what in our time there was that when that
15:29rail car came in yeah and that was wow yeah Europe yeah yeah I went on a my first flight was um propellers
15:37so all you hit besides me I went to Italy propellers Italy in the propellers yeah did you have pizza
15:48while you were there nobody had a massive tomato that lasted for six days but like that we all just
15:54sliced a bit yeah yeah but on your shoulder and off you went yeah around Florence oh there he is
16:05what is that fish chips yeah hi there thank you very much there you go thank you very much
16:13northerners are very protective of the fish and chips we reckon our fish and chips are great I know
16:18you're ready for your gravy I'm not sure I am thank you let me try that
16:26hmm yeah it's all right gravy and chip Ted look nah what do you think I am get out of it
16:39coming in there we go night of football thank you fantastic
16:56morning Paul ah morning Bob thank you reprising your role as a t-boy a lot of fun your first job yeah
17:07yeah I wasn't a t-boy yes you were nice looking city in it beautiful what a lovely morning yeah um so
17:14where we're fishing today then the River Dane the smallest river about 40 minutes away it's going to be
17:21your classics your roach grayling I mean it's a it's a freshwater river pole they say it's got
17:28fresh from the fish in it well should we go and catch them then yep yep
17:3245 minutes out of Manchester and here we are in this little rural haven I yeah so this River Dane that I've
17:58chosen yes do you know anything of it I know it looks beautiful I don't know anything about it
18:03really Bob but it I've seen some pictures and it does look very pretty doesn't it what are you gonna
18:07go for I'll go for a grayling I'll try I'm just gonna try and see what I see what you get yeah nice
18:14so here we are Paul yeah the River Dane oh it looks great doesn't it yeah fantastic little river well
18:29done thank you yeah it's pretty isn't it yeah big grim weather will there be any fish in here yeah of
18:35course they will Ted get off the bait Ted get off Ted what's he like he's had a banana already yeah
18:44will you pick a spot oh come on Teddy come on Ted I hoping we get a little bit of Sun peeps
18:55through every now and then but that's all we need oh we need little people the rivers rising but
19:12the rains easy enough so that's something at least oh oh I think something's just hit the line I
19:23genuinely do no fair enough but you know what I mean yeah let's see it's a bit further out the
19:30back go on swing it up I'll get rid of all that for you Robert there's your valet what's your silly
19:39fingers do you mean thank you no I mean what's your silly fingers things are put up with from you
19:47Bob right here we go pass part two okay that's good right lock it in lock it down oh what no so I
20:06think that's just it's it has drifted around still you can keep your hand on the road why so the one
20:13doesn't fall off and the wind doesn't blow it off and you ruin your presentation have you ever
20:20been in a room with an elephant so you could actually say hey there's an elephant in the room
20:25I mean it'd be the first thing you'd say yeah have you know I saw a giraffe in the wild once there's
20:33no relevance between those two statements well they're both big animals aren't they yeah but one
20:38was outside we expect it to be like an elephant big fish under right under that tree over there
20:43giraffe in the room you haven't seen a giraffe in a room have you no I'll tell you what I saw in the
20:49wild a giraffe and only a hundred yards from it was a rhinoceros okay rhinoceroses of big things you
20:57know Paul really are really I was imagine they were sort of really small no honestly they're really
21:06big oh that's all you know yeah can I say something Bob I think if there was any hope of us catching a
21:26fish and there was some chum in there I would have taken that meat by now will you have a nickname Keith
21:31Downey of the disappointment honestly you're so odious odious Maximus not Pompeii remember that yeah
21:43I sat behind Frankie Howard once and he was leaning forward yeah and honestly you could have fitted a
21:49little mouse under his wig it all stuck well not a mouse you could probably got a licorice all thought
21:57yes no yes who's that in the back there is that a mouse oh please yourselves
22:05right let's try a different spot Bob come on
22:17the weather's on the turn again but ain't gonna stop us
22:24hey Ted you're my angling hero Paul no you are can you imagine you're somebody's hero
22:42yeah it's nice to be your hero Bob you're my comedy hero oh that's nice
22:49yep I'm in something good get the net Bob it's right there wind yours in because it's quite a nice fish
23:08it's not massive but it's a grayling you got a net get a net you're killing me I'm not look
23:15that's why you're my hero Paul do you understand get a net and get a net and get a net wallop
23:24yes a granny wow Bob what a treat to get a granny honey wow he's fresh a beautiful grayling what a
23:35beautiful surprise that was amazing I mean I know we said we might but oh you can see the lilac
23:41off you go and away well done there she goes okay get out of it how about that nice eh oh my god
23:54should we go go in the car have a cup of tea or something to see if this passes yeah this is crazy
24:07isn't it
24:12you
24:13you
24:15line me Bob I'm glad to be out of that it's getting worse and yeah I didn't think it could
24:20get any worse I don't think we're gonna be catching much else after this that river's gonna
24:24go yeah it was oh yes I know it's like December or something in it nice cup of tea oh it's nice and
24:35hot I can feel it oh that is hot isn't it all right Teddy it's okay mate he's got a cold hasn't he
24:40good boy yeah hasn't he it's funny when Ted's in the car and he's wet hmm it takes on the smell of a
24:45yeast factory oh he's in my lap that he's on not yours mate I quite enjoyed this boy it's okay but
24:53yeah wait till it passes it's a little haven
24:56someone really famous like the sting it's always sting the other day he was on the tally yeah and
25:14he said oh it's great to be back in England and you know what said when the sun is shining there is
25:21no nowhere more beautiful in the whole world do you know what that's what he said I saw that
25:27concert and he went when you are coming back to England and the sun is shining it's the best
25:32place ever to be but please didn't well right rocks on
25:43hey stopping now Bob's fine there's sun over this way
25:51I bought some new taps in the day to celebrate a new day national tap though yes what yeah anyway
26:13yeah your new taps yeah bath taps for national tap day yeah and they're so bright really that I have to
26:20wear SP 50 wow they're that bright when I'm in the bath so that bright I got it wrong and I bought
26:25some tap shoes I've got international tap day well I know it's yeah people do what color are your taps
26:32like the sun it's as bright as silver it's like beyond chrome is that what it's called it's that's a great
26:40color isn't it beyond chrome
26:42oh that is my beautiful
26:48hey Paul isn't it lovely to finish this trip
27:01in the sunshine it's glorious and it can't you can't comprehend it it was this is the same day as
27:07earlier yeah amazing this is it this is when it makes sense in it yeah this is when two old codgers
27:14with their fragile bones yeah weak minds could actually have a nice little time yeah I enjoyed
27:21staying in that luxury accommodation Paul and living the high life like a football the footballers we
27:26weren't yeah for a few days I tell you what though Bob we've got so much more than footballers haven't
27:33you reckon we got this and I've got you yeah we got each other imagine that yeah fish on Bob fish on I
27:46mean not fish on but let us fish on
27:49nobody can tell ya there's only one song worth singing they may try and sell ya cause it hangs them up
28:03to see someone like you
28:07but you've gotta make your own kind of music
28:14sing your own special song
28:18make your own kind of music
28:22even if nobody else sings along
28:26you're gonna be nowhere
28:32the loneliest kind of lonely
28:37it may be rough going
28:40just to do your thing
28:43the hardest thing to do
28:47but you've gotta make your own kind of music
28:53sing your own special song
28:57make your own kind of music
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