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  • 2 weeks ago
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00:00Had a heart attack at the reins, left ventricle popped out of their mouth, pushed it back down and carried on.
00:07It's big, isn't it?
00:09The Atlantic?
00:10Do you think we should stop a nod?
00:11Someone.
00:12Piss-she-webble, we're nearly there!
00:14See, I take the North Star there as a fixed point, then I pluck my bearings from...
00:21That's a plane, sir.
00:22In subordination, I'll have you harpooned off.
00:24I thought it would be chillier.
00:26Near England?
00:27Globular warming.
00:28Ha!
00:29And ahoy!
00:30There it is.
00:32Told you!
00:35Whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:37Now, now, now!
00:39What's up?
00:40There you go.
00:46Wow.
00:47England.
00:49Maybe we pulled to the right a bit.
00:52We're a reindeer short.
00:53France.
00:55Bonjour!
00:56Buoy, look, lingerie.
00:57They have elephants in France.
01:01The odd stray, they breed in the drains.
01:05This way.
01:06Buenos dias.
01:08Hola.
01:08Paris Zoo.
01:09Then this is where they keep the lions.
01:21They won't eat me.
01:22I'm Santa.
01:24Lie down.
01:25Right.
01:26Call the keeper.
01:27How old is this?
01:28Atlantis?
01:29Here be cannibals.
01:30You've got to watch out for cannibals.
01:34This isn't France, is it?
01:36Technically, it's known as Africa.
01:38Serengeti National Park, Tanzania.
01:40Rubbish.
01:40How can you possibly be sure?
01:42The GPS on my ho-ho, sir.
01:44Take her.
01:45Take the elf.
01:45The GPS?
01:46What didn't you say?
01:47I'm a ratting elf.
01:48I don't navigate.
01:49I rat.
01:50I use it to store pictures of bows.
01:51She's right.
01:52You brought us to Africa.
01:55I've seen it on a stamp.
01:57Up to young to die, Arthur.
02:00Do something, Arthur!
02:08The old stray.
02:10What is happening here?
02:12Supposed to be chopped up for fine wood decades ago.
02:15How on earth did they devious?
02:16Old people, sir.
02:17Shall I get you your stress ball?
02:20We have a finer comms array than the Pentagon,
02:22and you say we can't contact him
02:24except by some crazy, ancient...
02:26Toodle-oo!
02:28Here comes the cavalry.
02:30Ernie Clicker, sir.
02:31Head of polar communications
02:34for 46 missions.
02:37Oh, gruddy blikey.
02:39Me and your granddad saw sometimes.
02:42I remember one.
02:43Wow.
02:44Must catch up soon.
02:45Now!
02:46Oh, you're in a hurry.
02:49I can tell.
02:54Oh, this is ridiculous.
02:56Could we hurry this?
02:57Oh, you can't rush the signalator.
03:01Got to play her gentle.
03:04So, what do you wish to say?
03:07I wouldn't worry.
03:08It's not like that face in man-eating lions.
03:11Silent night.
03:11Silent night.
03:13Holy night.
03:13All is calm.
03:14All is bright.
03:16All is bright.
03:17I realise this is mental.
03:19But it's cool that I know.
03:21I realize this is mental, but it's all that I know.
03:36It's Christmas, nice kitty, so please let us go.
03:43Sleep in heavenly peace.
03:51Sleep in heavenly peace.
03:58Oh, something's coming through.
04:14What does it say?
04:16Get off!
04:21No, that's me even, you mangy moron.
04:25No, that's Gwen's gift!
04:28Hi-yah!
04:29Only children get to tear their wrapping.
04:32Righty.
04:33Automatic turn guns.
04:35Doggy, bad doggy.
04:37Razor-guided scissors.
04:40Oh, no, no.
04:43Standard issue.
04:45It's black.
04:46There's no time for a bow.
04:47It's always time for a bow.
04:49I can't look.
04:51Not that long.
04:54Good night!
04:55Oh, no!
04:56Ah!
04:57Something else!
04:58No, leave it at the...
05:00Ah!
05:01Ah!
05:02My camera!
05:03Ah!
05:04Ah!
05:05Ah!
05:06Ah!
05:07Ah!
05:08Ah!
05:09Ah!
05:10Ah!
05:11Ah!
05:12Ah!
05:13Ah!
05:14Ah!
05:15Ah!
05:16Ah!
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05:19Ah!
05:20Ah!
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05:22Ah!
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05:24Ah!
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05:27Ah!
05:28Ah!
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05:30Ah!
05:31Ah!
05:32Ah!
05:33Ah!
05:34Ah!
05:35Ah!
05:36Ah!
05:37Ah!
05:38Ah!
05:39Ah!
05:40Ah!
05:41Ah!
05:42Ah!
05:43Ah!
05:44Ah!
05:45Ah!
05:46Ah!
05:47Ah!
05:48What's so funny?
05:59Look what they've done to my evening.
06:01And the map.
06:02But it's okay.
06:03We've got this.
06:04Look.
06:05Mimosa Avenue.
06:07Relo.
06:08Proceed to the highlighted wood.
06:09What's the point?
06:10Look at us.
06:12And my camera totally banjaxed.
06:14How do I get my picture now?
06:16What picture?
06:16Slay on the roof, the eight beautiful reindeer and Santa, me, going down the chimney.
06:23That's what I wanted them to see.
06:25They missed the kid, but I got there.
06:28My way.
06:30That's why you came.
06:33Not for Gwen.
06:351,368 miles, then slight left.
06:41For the love of Lulu, bossed about by Tim Pot Tom.
06:451,368 miles.
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