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Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing S08E03
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00:00This is the Manchester Iron Open.
00:04Right, so you take me back to your old holts, are you?
00:07Oh, you said you're not interested in the past?
00:09No, I'm not really interested.
00:11But really interested.
00:14So this is Withenshaw.
00:16I like the way you said the with there.
00:18Withenshaw?
00:19This is Withenshaw.
00:21I'm sure I administered law round here somewhere.
00:25There it is!
00:27What?
00:28Talk me through it. Withenshaw Law Centre.
00:31Yeah, so people would come along and would check their benefits.
00:34Yeah.
00:35Help them with housing repairs, damp accommodation, that sort of thing.
00:38And I was half expecting at that point, Paul,
00:41that I might get a round of applause for my contribution
00:44to the social welfare of Manchester.
00:46Yeah, no, fair play. You deserve one. Here you go, look.
00:48Oh, here we go. Thank you.
00:50There you are, for your social conscience and good works, you know.
00:5330 or 40 years ago. You haven't got a social conscience now, have you?
00:56All right, there's a little barb at the end, yeah.
00:58You're always a sting in the tail.
00:59So as I remember, Paul, I think I was in that office at the right there.
01:04There was three of us, three solicitors.
01:10Oi.
01:11I was talking then, Paul.
01:13Yeah.
01:14I was telling you about the Law Centre.
01:16Yeah, you've talked till morning.
01:18Less talk, more fishing, all right?
01:20OK.
01:21So, Paul, this is urban fishing.
01:30Yeah.
01:31This is a canal.
01:32I really like it.
01:33Nice, isn't it?
01:34Fantastic.
01:35The Rochdale Canal.
01:36Right.
01:37It's very important to me, this place, where I spent many a happy year.
01:42I was working, grafting, dancing.
01:46Really, I spent a lot of time there at the end there.
01:47Did you?
01:48Shaking your booty.
01:49Oh, morning.
01:50Morning.
01:51Shaking your booty, yeah?
01:53Look.
01:54Yes, you've got new boots, Paul.
01:55Well done.
01:56Where did you get them from?
01:57They're clearly a big one.
01:58Yeah.
01:59Yeah.
02:00They're certainly not a pensioner boot.
02:01Yes they are.
02:02And they're got that white sole.
02:03Yeah, they're for a rugged outdoor type.
02:04But look at these, they're so much more subtle.
02:19They suit my longer leg as well.
02:21I'll tell you what the big difference is, the big difference is.
02:25So, we've got all of our different things.
02:27There's a lot of people.
02:28I'll tell you what the big difference here is Paul, is gentleman's boot, ladies
02:33ladies boot. That really looks like a ladies orthopedic shoe, little wiggling
02:38boot, mine's like get up that mountain.
02:49So what might we catch in here? Maybe some little roach, gudgeon, bleak, perch,
02:57basically the staple of my fishing when I was a kid, because I used to fish canals
03:01like this when I was a kid, Bob. You caught a fish? He's got one already, little perch, look.
03:06Check out Whitehouse. As I said. Wow! I'll tell you what though, you knock the little
03:11perch at your peril, Bob, because they save you an angler on many a day. So first cast, Paul. Yep.
03:18Bye-bye little perchy. Hello Ted. I'll tell you what, this place is a muppet's town, isn't it?
03:26Get me back to London, it's not a real city. Hello Teddy. You all right, Ted?
03:31Yeah, so I lived in Manchester for two, three years. I loved it here. Really loved it.
03:37What were you doing here, Bob? I don't see you as Manchester, really.
03:40I was a student doing the law finals and it was my one and only happy experience as a student.
03:47What was, being in Manchester? Being in Manchester. I was a student.
03:50Where were you, where else were you a student? Were you somewhere like Leicester?
03:53I was at Leicester and I was at the University of Sussex near Brighton.
03:58Why didn't you do the rounds at all these places, Bob?
04:01Because I didn't want to face real life, you know.
04:07So I came to Manchester. Yeah.
04:09And fell in love with the place. And it was because of one young lad at the time, called Paddy Goal.
04:16Because three years at Sussex, two years at Leicester, I'd never met anyone.
04:21I couldn't meet people, Paul.
04:24And I turned up on the first day here and a little Scouse lad, all right.
04:31I wore a Middlesbrough football top to try and say, look, I'm this type of person.
04:35You've tried that a few times. I tried it at Brighton, it didn't work.
04:37And little Paddy came up to me and said, all right, lad.
04:41I was thinking we'd start a football team.
04:44And that was the most amazing gift.
04:47Really? Oh, wow, yeah.
04:49And I had a really fabulous year here.
04:52With Paddy, Bendy, the walrus.
04:55Bendy?
04:56Yeah, Bendy Chris, the walrus.
04:59Big Tash, obviously.
05:01Jonah.
05:04Whoa.
05:05Getting a lot of bites here, Bob.
05:06And, Paul, this is absolutely true. This is the thing.
05:09Yeah.
05:10Two weeks ago, I got a letter from Paddy.
05:14Did you?
05:15Yeah, just telling me what had happened to Bendy and all our mates that we all had.
05:18We won't let him to Bendy.
05:20He'd straighten out and he'd keep the mood.
05:24So, hence.
05:25Yes.
05:26That's kind of the reason we're right in the middle of here.
05:28I've asked Paddy to come along, say hello.
05:30I haven't seen him for, I reckon, 30 years.
05:32You're joking.
05:3330 years.
05:34But he was so important in me life, you know.
05:39Yeah.
05:40Yeah.
05:41Yeah.
05:42Yeah.
05:43Yeah.
05:44Yeah.
05:45Goal, bang.
05:53Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
05:55Yes, I know.
05:56You're in, then, without knowing it?
05:58That's angling, Paul.
05:59Ha-ha.
06:00You're fishing, I'm angling.
06:01I do that.
06:02Ooh, I like it.
06:03I like the distinction.
06:04Woop.
06:05he saw your boots and he went whoa and when he saw that the person who'd caught
06:15him was wearing your boots he thought I'm off
06:17you're lying it's a bit grim in it Bob I didn't even put suitable wet weather clothing on look at
06:38it should we seek shelter under the bridge I think we should don't you eminent
06:44God dear
06:47they're building aren't they they don't know why but they're building they can't stop how do they get
07:05them cranes up there I don't know Bob
07:07Paddy's on his way Bob I'm gonna go and do some jigging really yeah do you remember this oh
07:21you're a little sort of debonair yeah debonair you mean debonums there we are go with your booty
07:29you look good man okay boy chance Marie thank you old lady walking God them boots Paul
07:38buddy how you doing mate oh man how long is it since I've seen you you're taller than me now
07:57incredible oh yeah 30 years or something it's not this century it's true in it yeah yeah it's great to
08:06see you my best student year was here in Manchester it was great we had a good time didn't we we were
08:15out nearly every night weren't we yep and we'd used to drink five pints and then we'd go home and we
08:23get a Mongolian cheeseburger yeah yeah from a little place on Oxford Road I mean this was a great place
08:29was it for a young person it was cheap everywhere was cheap 50p to get in the hacienda and 50p for a
08:35pint incredible wasn't it was my best year as well because it was authentic wasn't it was a really
08:40authentic student experience yeah you're part of a great city and there was loads going on he's
08:45fun hello paddy you're all right nice to meet you have you caught anything no no he's got a
08:51fishing head on buddy I've seen a bit she is the other big thing about the year was the footy
09:02wasn't football yeah because you're a good player weren't you I wasn't on the quiet a decent you do you
09:08remember me specialist tackle me Peter Beardsley yeah yeah remember your back header you scored a
09:15winner with the back header did I mean to no yeah no it was great year and we had this little group
09:22me you bendy Jonah the walrus and we had a lovely time we did it's all that matters in life in it
09:28those connections it's all that matters so when did you pack in the law god I don't know yeah I was
09:39there 29 30 right so and you're going back to it presumably one day I've wanted yeah they won't be
09:45back yeah no we did talk about having our own fair one time did we really yeah it wouldn't last a very
09:53long would it god no no we did you just had bacon bombs and talked about 40 you know yeah it's been
10:02brilliant seeing you after all these years yeah buddy thank you for popping down so the next time
10:06you know we'll be about a hundred won't we we'll be about 100 yeah yeah that's it yeah I'm coming in a minute
10:24a good boy
10:27Paddy seemed like a very nice guy very calm yeah no sweet sweet guy it's it's bittersweet in some ways
10:41because we we had such a lovely time me and Paddy here yeah but it also you know we're talking about
10:46seeing the Smiths at the Hacienda and yeah drinking and all the things we did and you can't help
10:53remembering we was quite young and vibrant yeah big old group of mates playing football and that and
10:59that's all good so there's a like a bit sweet in that sense yeah but you had it didn't you Bob you
11:04had it you know yeah still there on it and the the thing is is I think there's a lesson to be learned
11:10because I was a shy lad I know you don't believe me and there's shy lads all over the place and so
11:16that little gift of just letting them into all right yeah oh here who are you up to because I think
11:22a lot of the shy ones are worth having a chat to you know some won't be yeah but you might be right
11:29there Bob actually but what a great gift to give so no it was brilliant yeah I do again
11:40well Paul we've done the urban fishing yeah I think it's time that I took you to the accommodation
12:07it may be the highest accommodation I've ever put you in it might even be the most luxurious because
12:17what we're lacking in luxury here yeah I'm gonna make up oh now you're talking
12:30the fire
12:37this is a bit fresh Bob yeah I think you know this is gonna be good don't you
12:48yeah come on Teddy
12:50come on Ted
12:51nice nice room Bob
12:53yeah the bedroom's identical Paul
12:55whoa
12:56oh look at this
12:5815 stories
13:01well highest I've ever stayed
13:03is it um footballer style Bob
13:05yeah this actual building Paul you know it's Manchester
13:08yeah
13:08and when the players from abroad come they stay here
13:11luxury life innit
13:12it is yeah
13:13ooh
13:15hello Ted
13:16this is my room Teddy
13:18nice room Bob you'll like yours
13:20what's who here
13:22ooh
13:26oh you beauty
13:28Paul
13:32yep
13:32come through here baby
13:34welcome
13:38there was a third undocumented bedroom that they're now calling Bob's bedroom
13:44aren't they who's they
13:46everyone from the mayor downwards
13:49hey Paul
13:49there's more
13:53come through here have a look at this
13:55have a look at this
13:56oh you
13:59look Paul
14:00it's got a sink for your left hand
14:02sink for your right hand
14:04right
14:05bath overlooked by many other high dwellers
14:08oh yeah
14:09do you like it
14:11do you wish it was yours
14:12I'm not going to give you the benefit of envy Bob on my part
14:17you're not getting it all right
14:18yeah you do it with your boots though don't you
14:20are we going to get takeaway
14:26get something delivered
14:28yeah go on
14:28what do you fancy Paul
14:30Mexican
14:31Thai
14:34I like Thai
14:35well you're not having it because I'm getting fish and chips
14:37oh are we
14:38fish and chips
14:40yeah I'm fishing chips
14:41oh okay
14:42oh I'll tell you what you're having
14:43you're having gravy
14:44you know it's a new thing
14:45graze now is to have a gravy
14:47gravy's not new Bob it's not a new fish
14:49no but to have it with your fish
14:50all right I'll try it
14:51it says it will be
14:53that ain't bad
14:55go on
14:5520 minutes
14:57that's all right
14:57that's tolerable
14:58that is because I've got a 20 minute hole there
15:01okay
15:02I'll come and join you
15:05have you ever lived up north
15:11no I haven't actually
15:13furthest north you've been
15:14somewhere like Harrow or something like that
15:16I've been to John O'Groats
15:17how limited you you are
15:19I've been to many places
15:21yeah
15:21but yeah perhaps I'm not as adventurous as some
15:23man now they all go off backtracking
15:25don't they round the world
15:26they're amazing aren't they
15:27do you remember in our time
15:28there was the when that rail car came in
15:31yeah
15:31and that was wow
15:32you can go to Europe
15:33yeah yeah
15:33I went on a
15:34my first flight was
15:36propellers
15:37so all you've hit besides me
15:39I went to Italy
15:42propellers
15:43Italy
15:45in the propellers
15:46yeah
15:47did you have pizza while you were there
15:49no but I had a massive tomato
15:50that lasted for six days
15:52about like that
15:53we all just sliced a bit off
15:55yeah yeah
15:56but
15:56on your shoulder and off you went
15:58yeah around Florence
15:59oh there he is
16:05what is that fish chips
16:06yeah
16:06hi there
16:08thank you very much
16:10there you go
16:11thank you very much
16:13northerners are very protective of the fish and chips
16:16we reckon our fish and chips are great
16:18I know
16:18you ready for your gravy
16:20I'm not sure I am
16:23thank you
16:24let me try that
16:26hmm
16:28yeah it's alright
16:30gravy and chips
16:32Ted look
16:33nah what do you think I am
16:36get out of it
16:37come on then
16:39here we go
16:40night of football
16:41thank you
16:42fantastic
16:56morning Paul
17:01ah morning Bob
17:02thank you reprising your role as a tea boy
17:06that was a lot of fun
17:06your first job yeah
17:07yeah I wasn't a tea boy
17:08yes you were
17:09nice looking city isn't it
17:11beautiful
17:11what a lovely morning
17:12yep
17:13so where are we fishing today then
17:15the river Dane
17:16the smallest river
17:18about 40 minutes away
17:20it's going to be your classics
17:22your roach
17:22grayling
17:24I mean it's a it's a freshwater river pole
17:27yeah so it's got fresh water fish in it
17:29well should we go and catch them then
17:31yep
17:31yep
17:3245 minutes out of Manchester and here we are in this little rural haven eh
17:55yeah
17:55so this river Dane that I've chosen
17:58yes
17:59do you know anything of it
18:00I know it looks beautiful
18:01I don't know anything about it really Bob
18:03but I've seen some pictures and it does look very pretty doesn't it
18:07what are you going to go for
18:08oh go for a grayling
18:09I'll trot
18:10I'm just going to trot
18:11and see what it
18:12see what you get
18:12yeah
18:13nice
18:14so here we are Port
18:22yeah
18:23the river Dane
18:25oh it looks great doesn't it
18:26yeah
18:27fantastic little river
18:28well done
18:29thank you
18:30yeah
18:30it's pretty isn't it
18:31yeah
18:32a bit grim with them
18:33will there be any fish in here
18:35yeah of course there will
18:36Ted get off the bait
18:39Ted
18:39get off Ted
18:41what's he like
18:42he's had a banana already
18:44yeah
18:44will you pick a spot
18:46come on Teddy
18:50come on Ted
18:51I'm hoping we get a little bit of something
18:54that peeps through every now and then Bob
18:56that's all we need
18:57all we need
18:58a little peep
19:06look the river's rising
19:12but the rain's easing off
19:13so it's something at least
19:14Paul
19:19Paul
19:19I think something's just hit the line
19:22I genuinely do
19:24no fair enough
19:24but you know what I mean
19:25yeah
19:26let's see
19:28it's a bit further out the back
19:30go on
19:31swing it up
19:32I'll get rid of all that for you Robert
19:34that's your valet
19:36watch your silly fingers
19:40do you mean thank you
19:43no I mean watch your silly fingers
19:45things I've put up with from you Bob
19:48right
19:49here we go
19:51pass part two
19:53okay that's good
19:57right
19:59lock it in
20:01lock it down
20:02oh
20:03what
20:04no
20:04I think that's just it
20:08it has drifted round still
20:09you can keep your hand on the rod
20:11why
20:12so that the rod doesn't fall off
20:14and the wind doesn't blow it off
20:15and you ruin your presentation
20:17have you ever been in a room with an elephant
20:21so you could actually say
20:22hey there's an elephant in the room
20:25I mean it would be the first thing you'd say
20:27yeah obviously yeah
20:28have you
20:29no I saw a giraffe in the wild once
20:32there's no relevance between those two statements
20:36well they're both big animals aren't they
20:37yeah but one was outside
20:38where you'd expect it to be like an elephant
20:40big fish under right under that tree over there
20:43giraffe in the room
20:44you haven't seen a giraffe in a room have you
20:46no
20:46I'll tell you what I saw in the wild
20:49a giraffe
20:50and only 100 yards from it
20:52was a rhinoceros
20:53okay
20:54and rhinoceroses are
20:56big things you know Paul
20:58really honestly
20:59really big
20:59I always imagined they were sort of really small
21:02no honestly they were really big
21:06are they bloody hell
21:08that's all you know
21:10yeah
21:10can I say something Bob
21:23I think if there was any hope of us catching a fish
21:26and there was some chum in there
21:27I would have taken that meat by now
21:30will you have a nickname Keith Downey
21:32of the disappointment
21:35honestly you're so odious
21:38odious Maximus
21:40that Pompeii
21:42remember that
21:42yeah
21:43I sat behind Frankie Howard once
21:46and he was leaning forward
21:47yeah
21:47and honestly you could have fitted a little mouse under his wig
21:50it all stuck out
21:51really it all went
21:52yeah
21:52wow
21:53well not a mouse
21:55you could probably have got a licorice hall thought
21:57yes
21:57no
21:58yes
21:59who's that in the back there
22:01is that a mouse
22:02oh please yourselves
22:05right let's try a different spot Bob
22:17come on
22:17the weather's on the turn again but they ain't gonna stop us
22:25hey Ted
22:35you're my angling hero Paul
22:39no you are can you imagine you're somebody's hero
22:42yeah it's nice to be your hero Bob
22:45you're my comedy hero
22:47oh that's nice
22:49yeah
22:50yep I'm in something good
23:01get the net Bob
23:03it's right there
23:05wind yours in
23:05because it's quite a nice fish
23:08it's not massive
23:09but it's a grayling
23:11you've got a net
23:12get the net
23:13you're kidding me
23:13I'm not
23:14look
23:15that's why you're my hero Paul
23:19do you understand
23:20get the netting
23:20get the netting
23:21get the netting
23:22wallop
23:24yes
23:24a grayling
23:26wow
23:28Bob what a treat
23:29to get a grayling
23:30isn't it
23:31wow he's fresh
23:33a beautiful grayling
23:35what a beautiful surprise
23:36that was
23:37isn't that amazing
23:37I mean I know we said we might but
23:39oh you can see the lilac
23:41off you go
23:43and away
23:44well done
23:45there she goes
23:46okay
23:47get out of it
23:48how about that
23:50nice eh
23:51oh my god
23:54should we go in the car
24:03have a cup of tea or something
24:04see if this passes
24:06yeah this is crazy
24:07isn't it
24:07yeah this is crazy isn't it
24:07yeah
24:08yeah
24:09yeah
24:09yeah
24:10yeah
24:11yeah
24:11yeah
24:12yeah
24:13yeah
24:14yeah
24:15yeah
24:15yeah
24:16yeah
24:17yeah
24:18it's getting worse isn't it
24:19I didn't think it could get any worse
24:20I don't think we're going to be catching much else after this
24:23that river's going to go
24:24it was a wolf
24:25yes
24:26I know it's like December or something isn't it
24:29nice cup of tea
24:32oh it's nice and hot
24:35I can feel it
24:36oh that is hot isn't it
24:37all right Teddy
24:37it's okay mate
24:39he's got a cold
24:39good boy yeah hasn't he
24:41it's funny when Ted's in the car
24:42and he's wet
24:43it takes on the smell of a yeast factory
24:45oh he's in my lap that he's on
24:47not yours mate
24:48I quite enjoyed this boy
24:52it's okay about me
24:53wait till it passes
24:55it's a little haven isn't it
24:56someone really famous thought it was Sting
25:09it's always Sting
25:10the other day
25:12he was on the tally
25:13yeah
25:14and he said
25:15oh it's great to be back in England
25:16and you know what
25:18he said when the sun is shining
25:20there is no
25:21nowhere more beautiful
25:23in the whole world
25:24do you know what
25:25that's what he said
25:25he did don't he
25:26I saw that concept
25:27and he went
25:27when you are coming back to England
25:30and the sun is shining
25:31it's the best place
25:32ever to be
25:34best place did well
25:35right
25:35rocks on
25:37hey it's stopping now Bob
25:44it's fine
25:45there's sun over this way
25:47I bought some new taps
26:03the other day
26:03to celebrate
26:04a new day
26:06national tap day
26:07Bob
26:09yes what
26:10yeah anyway yeah
26:13your new taps
26:14yeah bath taps
26:15for national tap day
26:16yeah
26:17and they're so bright
26:19really
26:20that I have to wear SP50
26:21wow they're that bright
26:22when I'm in the bath
26:23they're that bright
26:24I got it wrong
26:24and I bought some tap shoes
26:25international tap day
26:28wrong
26:28well I know
26:29yeah people do
26:30what colour are your taps
26:32like the sun
26:34it's as bright as silver
26:35it's like beyond chrome
26:36is that what it's called
26:38it's
26:38that's a great colour
26:40isn't it
26:41beyond chrome
26:42oh that is my
26:47beautiful isn't it
26:49hey Paul
26:59isn't it lovely
27:00to finish this trip
27:01in the sunshine
27:02it's glorious
27:03you can't comprehend
27:05it
27:05this is the same day
27:07as earlier
27:07yeah
27:08amazing
27:08this is
27:09this is when
27:10it makes sense
27:11isn't it
27:11yeah
27:11this is when
27:13two old codgers
27:14with their fragile bones
27:16and weak minds
27:17could actually have
27:19a nice little time
27:20yeah
27:20I enjoyed staying
27:22in that luxury accommodation
27:23Paul
27:23and living the high life
27:25like a football
27:25the footballers we weren't
27:27yeah
27:27for a few days
27:28I tell you what though
27:30Bob
27:30we've got so much more
27:32than footballers
27:33haven't we
27:33do you reckon
27:34we've got this
27:36and I've got you
27:39yeah we've got each other
27:41imagine that
27:42yeah
27:43fish on Bob
27:44fish on
27:45I mean not fish on
27:47but let us fish on
27:49nobody can tell you
27:51nobody can tell you
27:53there's only one song
27:57worth singing
27:58they may try and sell you
28:01cause it hangs them up
28:03to see someone
28:05to see someone like you
28:07but you've gotta
28:10make your own kind of music
28:14sing your own special song
28:18make your own kind of music
28:22even if nobody else sings along
28:26you're gonna be
28:30you're gonna be nowhere
28:31you're gonna be nowhere
28:32the loneliest kind of lonely
28:37it may be rough going
28:40just to do your thing
28:43the hardest thing to do
28:47but you've gotta
28:49make your own kind of music
28:53sing your own special song
28:57make your own kind of music
28:58make your own
28:59you're gonna be anywhere
29:00you're gonna be anywhere
29:00you're gonna be anywhere
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