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The Last Leg - Season 33 Episode 11 -
The Last Leg of Christmas
The Last Leg of Christmas
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00:00Thank you for lettin' us be ourselves
00:02So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:04These simple lines be good for your health
00:06Keep them prime rhymes on the shelf
00:08Live my life like you just don't care
00:10My thighs are leaders never scared
00:12Ranging noise is the moment they fear
00:16Get up, you're still a beautiful idea
00:18Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:20Get up, you should know
00:22Get up, you should know
00:24Get up, get up, get up
00:26Get up, get up, get up
00:28Finish wrapping the presents, sit back on the couch
00:35Then realise you forgot to buy batteries
00:37It's Christmas Eve and it's time for the last leg
00:40Tonight on the show
00:43We look at a prediction of Christmas future
00:46Look back on Christmas past
00:48And take a sneaky look at our Christmas presents
00:51Plus we'll be joined by presenter Alison Hammond
00:54Comedian Harry Hill
00:55And music legend Rick Astley
00:57On the show that's always a Christmas diehard
01:01G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:10Welcome to The Last Leg
01:11The show that wonders if King Charles' speech
01:13Is going to get one less viewer this year
01:14With me as always of the pride of Huddersfield
01:17Alex Brooker and the man who turned on
01:19The Christmas lights in Exeter this year
01:21But only in his own house, Josh Whittacombe
01:23Happy Christmas Eve, everybody
01:31Every year we dress up, there's something ridiculous for Christmas
01:34I, of course, am Tom Hanks
01:36From the Polar Express
01:38There you go
01:39Thank you
01:41Thank you
01:42Yeah, it's not bad
01:43Yeah
01:43You're such a fan of the film that you've called the character Tom Hanks
01:47Oh
01:48You look like you're about to strip
01:52That is a different type of Polar Express
01:57I went with Polar Express
01:58I went with Polar Express because it's my favourite Tom Hanks film
02:03Yeah
02:04Actually, it's my second favourite but Philadelphia didn't feel appropriate
02:06Oh, Josh
02:08Merry Christmas
02:10Josh, would you like to explain who you're dressed as?
02:13Oh, I didn't get the memo, I didn't know it was fancy dress
02:15No, I've come as, I'll stand up for this
02:20I've come as Francis Rossi from the Band Aid video
02:24Amazing
02:26I'm not saying I've run out of ideas
02:30But I look like Michael Portillo
02:33I am
02:34You look like someone who's been caught at Heathrow trying to smuggle in illegal reptiles
02:44Well, I've certainly got a snake in these tight trousers
02:50Alex, do you want to explain what's going on there?
02:52Yeah, I'm Tim Allen in the Santa Claus
02:54Santa's just fallen off my roof and I've just put the jacket on
02:57So, yeah, and also I'll tell you what
02:59It's comfy in it
03:00I'll tell you what
03:01Your snake would be alright in these pyjama bottoms, mate
03:03Honestly
03:04This is the comfiest I've ever been
03:06I'm not going to say you've not gone too much effort
03:08But compared to the two of us
03:09Wearing, literally, slippers, pyjamas
03:12And just you've put on a Santa
03:14Yeah, I know
03:15I think these are comfy slippers
03:16I can only feel the one
03:18But I think
03:20Alright, the big story, of course, is Christmas
03:25And it's the story Alex has been most excited about all year
03:28So, let's start with this
03:29Is it okay that Alex interrupted a last leg meeting this year
03:32To have his Christmas tree delivered?
03:36Okay, is it okay he did that in October?
03:42Well, here's another is it okay for you
03:43Is it okay that it's a 13-foot tree?
03:46That is...
03:48I know, that's 12 more feet than Alex has
03:50Let's see, here's a photo of it arriving
03:57Just so you know, Alex took the tree out
03:59And then once that was done, Alex's wife put all her belongings in there and there
04:06Here's the photo of the tree once it was up and running
04:09Dude, it's so...
04:11Fuck it now!
04:12It looks like, you know those North Korean marches where they have the missiles
04:17Honestly, it's so big that's an actual star
04:22Is it a real tree?
04:23It's not a real tree
04:24Oh, no, no, no, no
04:25No, so even your Christmas tree is prosthetic
04:26Look, knowing how much you love Christmas, I would imagine the ads you get on your phone are different to the ads I get on my phone
04:41Oh mate, I mean the algorithm on Instagram
04:43I start getting loads of these like Christmas, like Larry Christmas suits and outfits
04:48Right
04:49Maybe because I was talking about Christmas jumpers
04:51That's all my algorithm, it's just Christmas suits
04:53Yeah, we've got some of the garish images Alex has been getting, check these out
04:58The thing with it is, you two complain a lot, you know, about your disabilities
05:02But that guy in the suit, he hasn't got a head
05:07It looks like...
05:09I'd say that's far...
05:11At the Paralympics, you're in the toughest category
05:15Especially if it's a dead heat in the sprinting
05:17The suit, I love the suit, it looks like the kind of suit Santa would wear to court
05:27You know what I mean? Like if Santa turned up in the Epstein files
05:31Oh no, Santa's not, obviously Santa's not in the Epstein files
05:35Obviously, because we all know Santa makes the list and checks it twice
05:38I reckon...
05:41Pausing for an edit
05:50I think nothing says Christmas Eve more than Philadelphia and the Epstein files
05:56I reckon if you can encapsulate Alex's algorithm into one image, it would be this
06:03Declan Rice, dressed as Santa, drinking a Frosé with Big John
06:06That is...
06:08That's Alex's...
06:10I'm assuming that's your default setting when you blank out during an Asian
06:13Is it true you want a dash cam for Christmas?
06:16Yeah, I do, I generally do
06:17I've got banged...
06:18So, I've got banged into dash cam footage
06:21That's the other thing my algorithm is jumping up
06:23What do you mean?
06:24So like, I've got really into like, watching these videos
06:27Of like, just people having near misses
06:29But the one I've been getting into most
06:31Is a geezer called Big Jobber
06:33Wait, what?
06:34His name's Big Jobber
06:36I'm going to say it, Hilsey
06:38When Brooker searched Big Jobber, he wasn't looking for a dash cam footage
06:40That he's...
06:43He assesses, like, the insurance liable
06:47Who's at fault for the crash
06:49Based on the dash cam footage
06:50Are you okay?
06:52I think I'm having like, the most boring midlife crisis of all time
06:57But I really want a dash cam
06:59We've got a very special treat for Alex tonight
07:01So we've been following Santa on his radar tonight
07:04So we're going to check in to see where he is right now
07:06Have a look at this on the map
07:07He...
07:09Now, that seems to be Huddersfield
07:11Which is where you live, Alex
07:12Yeah
07:13He seems to be stuck there
07:15Let's go to Santa's dash cam
07:16Or as he calls it, dash-a-cam
07:18To see what's happening
07:25What arsehole put up a 12-foot tree?
07:28I hope they don't breathalise me
07:30I've had 83 million cherries
07:32Here's your froze machine, you prick
07:35LAUGHTER
07:40Now, one AI generator reimagined Santa over the decades
07:44Showing how, and this is a quote
07:46Beloved figures can evolve alongside society's progress
07:49Here is its revealing timeline of Santas
07:52Let's go through them one by one
07:54Here's 1960 Santa
07:56Textbook
07:57Classic Santa, Coca-Cola Santa
07:58I have no issue with that
07:59Yeah
08:00Yep
08:011970s Santa
08:02Ooh
08:04I've...I'm not letting my kids sit on his knee
08:07LAUGHTER
08:09Let's look at 1980s Santa
08:11Wow
08:13He's been lifting his sack, hasn't he?
08:15It's no wonder Mummy was kissing Santa Claus
08:18Look at that guy
08:19That'll leave her Saint Nicholas
08:21LAUGHTER
08:23LAUGHTER
08:25LAUGHTER
08:27Did somebody just go, oh dear?
08:29LAUGHTER
08:31LAUGHTER
08:33I, I thought...
08:35I enjoyed it!
08:36Oh dear!
08:38That from me, do you know what?
08:40It's ruined Christmas
08:42And that's a guy who was fine with the Epstein joke
08:45LAUGHTER
08:46Uh, 2010s Santa?
08:48Couldn't give a shit, could I?
08:50LAUGHTER
08:522030s?
08:53Well, I'll tell you what, JK Rowling's not going to be happy from 2030s
08:57LAUGHTER
08:59LAUGHTER
09:01Oh dear!
09:03LAUGHTER
09:04Look, there's one in the audience!
09:06LAUGHTER
09:07How did that happen?
09:09LAUGHTER
09:11APPLAUSE
09:12Mate!
09:14It's the one fucking night you were!
09:17LAUGHTER
09:19I'm not so sure about 2050s Santa
09:21I mean, no, I mean, he looks like he's going to shoot the naughty boys again
09:25LAUGHTER
09:27And look, as Santa faces an AI future, so does the art of gift giving
09:29Cos surveys have found that a lot of people are using generative AI for present ideas
09:33I love the idea that tomorrow there's going to be men everywhere
09:36blaming AI for misjudged gives for their other halves
09:40LAUGHTER
09:42It's just going, I mean, Jack GPT just said anal beads, I don't even know why
09:46LAUGHTER
09:48Like, the technology's just not, it's just not right
09:50By the way, look, do us a favour, can you quickly ring your mum and tell her not to open hers?
09:54LAUGHTER
09:56LAUGHTER
09:57So we've decided to use AI tonight to choose our presents for each other
10:02Uh, and to deliver them, would you please welcome all the way from the future
10:06Robot Santa!
10:08Santa baby
10:10Yes, with the saving and the virtue
10:13For me
10:16Bring in half a good day
10:19Santa baby
10:21I mean, the technology in the future is amazing, isn't it?
10:25I tell you what, the robot's improved more than the trolley, hasn't it?
10:30LAUGHTER
10:32It's not often I get to say this about other people, but you do walk a bit funny, don't you?
10:37LAUGHTER
10:42Can the robot do the Vs towards Alex?
10:45LAUGHTER
10:47All right, so we started by asking AI the question, what is a good Christmas present for Alex Brooker?
10:52Now, once we explain who Alex Brooker was...
10:55LAUGHTER
10:57LAUGHTER
10:59It suggested a personalised Arsenal jersey
11:02Yes, please!
11:03Could you please bring the presents over?
11:05LAUGHTER
11:09Do you know what?
11:10Yeah?
11:11RADA is fucking good, isn't it?
11:13LAUGHTER
11:14LAUGHTER
11:19LAUGHTER
11:21Four years of debt for this!
11:23LAUGHTER
11:25Thank you very much
11:27It's good to have Daniel Day-Lewis back in the game, isn't it?
11:30LAUGHTER
11:32Unbelievable!
11:34There we go
11:36Thank you, Robot Santa
11:37LAUGHTER
11:39LAUGHTER
11:41They said... Do you know what?
11:42When they said Greg Wallace would never be back on TV...
11:45LAUGHTER
11:47APPLAUSE
11:49LAUGHTER
11:53LAUGHTER
11:55LAUGHTER
11:57So I started out by asking AI what to get for Alex...
11:59Yes
12:00And it said, a personalised Arsenal jersey
12:02Am I allowed to open it?
12:03You are allowed to open it
12:04Oh, wow!
12:05So we've got you an Arsenal jersey
12:07And on the back we've got the picture of you...
12:10With Declan Rice and Big John drinking the Frosé
12:13Oh, yes, please!
12:14Merry Christmas!
12:18I love this robot, he did a little...
12:20He did a little happy dance when it was good!
12:23So when I asked...
12:26How is the robot funnier than all of us?
12:29LAUGHTER
12:30This is the future, Josh
12:31LAUGHTER
12:33So when I asked AI what to get Josh, it said...
12:36Something that balances his sober lifestyle, his love of home, his writing work and his comedic vibe
12:42Oh, that's genuinely nice!
12:44It said, a premium tea gift set and notebook combo with a personal note
12:51So an AI wrote the note, this is a personal note
12:54Oh, for when you fancy putting the kettle on...
12:56I genuinely like this
12:57For when you fancy putting the kettle on and jamming down those five-minute observations
13:03LAUGHTER
13:04This is the great thing, it also added...
13:06Uh, Josh is an observational comedian who focuses on the minutiae of everyday life
13:11rather than big topical issues
13:14LAUGHTER
13:15I think anyone who's seen me trying to walk around the news on this show would agree with that
13:20LAUGHTER
13:21And so what did AI suggest for me?
13:24Well, AI...
13:26Basically they said, something that was tied to your interest in disability awareness and sport
13:30But more importantly, a high-quality item that acknowledges that part of his life but not in a pitying way
13:36They wanted us to give you something empowering
13:39Not in a pitying way?
13:40No, so we didn't want to get you any sort of present that would kind of sound pitying at all
13:46So we've got you a book
13:48You have got me a book
13:49It's called, um, The Little Disabled Engine That Could
13:53LAUGHTER
13:55LAUGHTER
13:57Thank you so much, boys
13:58I can add that to my collection along with C-Spot Limp
14:01LAUGHTER
14:03Owe the places you'll park
14:05LAUGHTER
14:06And can we also have a big thank you to Robot Santa
14:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:11Now, Christmas telly is also changing
14:18There's a reality series on Hallmark this year called Finding Mr Christmas
14:22The TV show focuses on ten aspiring actors who compete for the chance to be the next leading man in a Hallmark Christmas film
14:30Here is the cheesy trailer for the wholesome reality series
14:33Boy, do I have an early holiday gift for you
14:36We are back for season two with an all-new group of hunks and festive face-offs
14:41Check out this sneak peek
14:42It's a huge house
14:43I'm down to stay here for a while
14:45What's up, guys?
14:46What's up, fellas?
14:47What's up, Angel?
14:48Dude, it's so epic
14:50Dude, we got the trust circle going on already
14:55I don't trust that trust circle
14:59Have you seen Finding Mr Easter?
15:01It's a bit bleaker because the winner gets nailed to a cross
15:04LAUGHTER
15:06LAUGHTER
15:11Now...
15:14Throughout the show
15:17Sorry, it's the latest quote to Reggie for you
15:20Honestly, it was just everything you say with that ponytail
15:25Now, throughout the show, this Finding Mr Christmas
15:28Did you just get a cut away of my fucking ponytail?
15:31We've never used that camera angle in 15 years
15:34Where's that from?
15:35That's not one of our angles
15:39Where's that?
15:40I don't even know where that camera is
15:43Throughout Finding Mr Christmas, the actors have to complete a series of challenges
15:47including gift wrapping, untangling Christmas lights and acting in a scene
15:51But we think they missed a trick
15:53Because we've got our own Mr Christmas here, Alex Brooker
15:56I don't know why they didn't cast him, right?
15:58100%, mate
15:59Yep
16:00So, throughout the show tonight, we're going to set Alex a series of Christmassy tasks
16:04And he's going to do the first one now
16:06We need you to head over there, please, Alex
16:07I didn't know why
16:08Are you ready? Are you ready?
16:09It's based on this festive challenge
16:17Remember, guys, presentation is important
16:21But your personality and star quality are always on Santa's radar
16:27So give us your best runway walks and slay!
16:30Yeah!
16:31Link, you're up first
16:38Oh!
16:39Okay, hello!
16:41Melissa, I don't want you to get too close to this fire
16:43Sugar melts
16:47Wow!
16:52So, it's time for Alex to take on the Mr Christmas catwalk challenge
16:57Alex, I want some strut with a good will to all men vibe
17:20Genuinely, by the way, don't get too close to me
17:22Because I think this is flammable as fuck
17:24Alex, you're through to the next round
17:29Yeah!
17:35Alright, let's welcome tonight's guests
17:37They're Bake Off royalty, which means much like real royalty
17:40They're both in bread
17:41Please welcome Alison Hammond and comedian Harry Hill
17:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:02I don't believe it, Frances Rotti and Tim Allen
18:04Aww
18:08And Bernard Cribbins from the railway tour
18:10LAUGHTER
18:12Now, Alison you has already received the best gift of all a few weeks ago
18:17When Prince Harry lip synced to one of your exchanges from Bake Off
18:22I thought I was dreaming when I saw that
18:24So here's the perfectly timed clip with Stephen Colbert
18:26If you were treated like a king for the day
18:29What would you want me to do for you?
18:31Um, Bec for me probably
18:33You'd want me to do what?
18:35Bec?
18:36Bec?
18:38Bec?
18:39Bec?
18:40Bec?
18:41Bec?
18:42Bec?
18:43Bec?
18:44LAUGHTER
18:45APPLAUSE
18:47What a weird moment!
18:49I mean, it sounds like, oh my god!
18:51Prince Harry, me and Prince Harry are connected now
18:53You're totally like that
18:54You know what I mean?
18:55We're tied
18:56Yeah
18:57I mean, how can I be humble now, do you know what I mean?
18:59Does it make me kind of like royalty now?
19:00Like, am I princess?
19:01Am I?
19:02Yeah, but it does appear that Prince Harry has got a lot of time on his hands now
19:04LAUGHTER
19:06That's not true
19:07Do you reckon?
19:08Um, Harry, what are your Christmas traditions?
19:25Um, well we always, what we do with the TV, when we have the Christmas lunch
19:31Yep
19:32And then we have, we've got one of those TVs that you can bring around
19:35You know, it comes, you can angle it round
19:37It's on the wall, but you can angle it round
19:39Yep
19:40And so we bring it round, so that it's across the other side of the table
19:43And then we have the King's Speech on there
19:45So it's like he's joining us
19:48LAUGHTER
19:51What's that?
19:52Yeah
19:53It has been a tough year for a lot of people
19:55LAUGHTER
19:58And look, we talked about Alex's 13-foot tree in his garden
20:01Anything special in your garden this Christmas?
20:03Well, we've got robins actually nesting
20:06Ooh!
20:07Yeah, I know
20:08We put up a nesting box last year
20:11Yeah
20:12And we've got some, actually some baby robins in there now
20:15Aw
20:16Yeah, and I've actually got a camera
20:17You know, one of those little tiny cameras?
20:18Oh, yeah, yeah
20:19Yeah
20:20It's got a bird watch
20:21Yeah, with like a live feed
20:22Yeah
20:24Could we see that?
20:25Or...
20:26We have got it, yes, yes we can
20:27Yes we can, let's see the live feed of your...
20:28There's a little robin in there this morning
20:29Oh, that's so lovely
20:30But, um...
20:31LAUGHTER
20:33LAUGHTER
20:38That's what?
20:41Aw
20:44Aw, that's really upsetting
20:45Yeah
20:47Talk about a live feed
20:48Me
20:52Alright, we'll have more last week for you after the break
20:53as we chat to Rick Astley
20:54And find out which one of our guests had a crush on him as a teenager
20:58See you in a little bit
20:59APPLAUSE
21:01Welcome back to The Last Leg
21:07We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Gill
21:22Uh, Alex is starting to change like Tim Allen in, uh...
21:27I'm not
21:28Are you not?
21:29Just the same as what I did, no
21:30I'm alright though
21:31I don't think that's how you looked in the last part
21:33That's absolutely the same, mate
21:34OK
21:35Changing the tool
21:36Alright, Josh, do you want to explain what's going on with you?
21:38I'm going through the Band-Aid video
21:40LAUGHTER
21:41I, er...
21:42I didn't know Hanson were in Band-Aid
21:44LAUGHTER
21:46Handsome?
21:47LAUGHTER
21:48I can't hear much, by the way
21:50LAUGHTER
21:51I'm Sting
21:52From Band-Aid
21:53Look at that
21:54Amazing, bang on
21:56I can't hear anything
21:58LAUGHTER
21:59I'm getting Gail Tilsley off coordination
22:01LAUGHTER
22:03Anyone else doing that?
22:05APPLAUSE
22:06I'm getting...
22:07I'm getting Gail Tilsley and Paul Hollywood
22:10LAUGHTER
22:12And obviously I'm now Tom Hanks as Woody from Toy Story
22:16Oh, yes
22:17Oh, yeah
22:18Because the final scene of Toy Story is when they all become friends at Christmas
22:20Yes
22:21Yes
22:22Time now to welcome another guest to the Last League Christmas celebration
22:25He's a soul singer whose songs may be the one thing your family doesn't fight over this Christmas
22:29Please welcome, Rick Astley
22:31Thank you
22:32Thank you
22:33Thank you
22:34Thank you
22:35Thank you
22:36Thank you
22:37Thank you
22:38Thank you
22:39Thank you
22:40Thank you
22:41Thank you
22:42Thank you
22:43Thank you
22:44Thank you
22:45Thank you
22:46Welcome to the party, Rick. What are your Christmas traditions?
22:48Um, eating and drinking, I think, pretty much
23:00Yes
23:01My wife is Danish and we have quite a lot of Scandinavian tradition in our Christmas
23:05Bacon?
23:06Uh, yeah, a lot of bacon actually
23:07LAUGHTER
23:08Yeah, yeah
23:09But also, um, they celebrate on the eve, on the 24th
23:13Yes
23:14So we've got into that habit over the years of doing that
23:16So...
23:17Well, I'm very sorry that you're here tonight on Christmas Eve
23:19I know, well, exactly
23:20I'm...
23:21Exactly
23:22I'm straight back there after this
23:24And if there's anything left, I'll be, you know, lovely
23:27LAUGHTER
23:28No, so, to be honest, tomorrow is a bit like our Boxing Day, to be honest
23:32Right
23:33It's a bit more chill and, you know, so...
23:34Yep
23:35Yeah
23:36Now, we asked AI to suggest, um, a present for you
23:38I can't wait
23:39OK
23:40LAUGHTER
23:41It said, maybe a rare vinyl copy of something like The Smiths
23:44Um, because you did a show of Smith songs at Glastonbury
23:47Indeed I did
23:48I saw it
23:49Which, yeah, you saw it and one of our team was there and captured the joy Josh felt
23:53as he watched you perform
23:54This is genuine footage
23:56MUSIC
23:57Back on the streets of Birmingham
24:00I wander to myself
24:04With our very same again
24:08With each side street in his sit down
24:11I wander to myself
24:14APPLAUSE
24:15What a nine!
24:16One of the best hours of my life!
24:18APPLAUSE
24:19And watching that video, this is going to blow your mind
24:23That was after I stopped drinking
24:25LAUGHTER
24:27Right, OK
24:28Harry, you share Rick's love of Morrissey's music
24:31Er...
24:32Oh, his music? Yeah, not so much his...
24:34LAUGHTER
24:36LAUGHTER
24:38But you...
24:39Don't talk about that, do we?
24:40You performed as Morrissey?
24:42I was... I did Morrissey and Stars in there
24:44I... I remember it
24:45We have a dazzling clip of the enthusiastic performance
24:48from the turn of the millennium
24:50APPLAUSE
24:51Meritay!
24:53APPLAUSE
24:54APPLAUSE
24:55MUSIC
24:59MUSIC
25:01MUSIC
25:02MUSIC
25:15MUSIC
25:25MUSIC
25:26APPLAUSE
25:27So good!
25:28Have you ever met Morrissey?
25:29I haven't met Morrissey, but part of it was you had to get permission.
25:33So I had to get permission from Morrissey to impersonate him.
25:36There was a...
25:37Or to do that song.
25:39And I got a fax through in the old days of faxes,
25:42and it was...
25:43It was signed by Morrissey saying,
25:45Good luck, Morrissey.
25:46And I...
25:47So I thought, oh...
25:48So Morrissey's on the other end of this number,
25:50because the number is there.
25:51I thought, well, I'll...
25:52And I had this idea, so I sent him a fax back,
25:55saying, how about you and me do a novelty single for Christmas,
26:00our version of Little Donkey.
26:02Wow!
26:03LAUGHTER
26:04But I never... He never...
26:05Never heard back.
26:06LAUGHTER
26:07I mean, you've got your own quiff.
26:09I have.
26:10I have to wear an artificial one, but if you liked,
26:12I could...
26:13Would you like me to reprise the...
26:14Would you like...
26:15Yes!
26:16Yes!
26:17Have you got them?
26:18I'm not feeling it.
26:19Come on!
26:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:25What a Strowman!
26:27He knows how to get the crowd going.
26:29LAUGHTER
26:30Here we go.
26:31Here we go.
26:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:34Lovely.
26:35It's uncanny.
26:38LAUGHTER
26:39Little donkey,
26:41little donkey,
26:43on a dusty road,
26:46going to keep on
26:48plodding onwards,
26:50with your head on your head.
26:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:55APPLAUSE
26:58LAUGHTER
26:59Brilliant.
27:00Oh, mercy, everyone.
27:02LAUGHTER
27:03Merry Christmas.
27:05So good.
27:06Alison, is it true you had a teenage crush on Rick?
27:10Well, it's not the sort of place I would, like,
27:13probably admit it, with Rick literally sitting there,
27:16but he already knows.
27:17We've met quite a few times.
27:18We haven't yet.
27:19And now I'm quite cool with it.
27:20Are you?
27:21Like, I'm all right.
27:22I'm totally cool with, like, being in the same room.
27:24As long as Harry's sat between us.
27:25Oh, yeah, exactly.
27:26LAUGHTER
27:27So, Alison, just to clarify your story,
27:30you used to fancy Rick Astley,
27:32then you met him,
27:33and now it's going to work.
27:35LAUGHTER
27:36Not at all, Josh!
27:37Obviously, I've still got feelings,
27:38but there is, like, you know...
27:40Have you?
27:41Do you want to expand on that?
27:43Listen, I'm not saying there's a chance...
27:45There's a wife!
27:46There's a wife!
27:47LAUGHTER
27:48I just...
27:49I feel like I'm...
27:50Come on, Harry!
27:51Come on, Harry!
27:52Come on, Harry!
27:53Come on, Harry, go there.
27:54Honestly!
27:55Oh, no!
27:56I don't know when I'm not wanted.
27:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:00Listen...
28:06Obviously, I was a lot younger than I am now,
28:09and, obviously, I still get the same feelings.
28:12LAUGHTER
28:13I'm going to say it,
28:14there's a chance you're going to be Rick Rolled.
28:16LAUGHTER
28:17Come back, Harry!
28:19Come back, Harry!
28:20Come back!
28:21Harry!
28:23Alison, on the very night that his wife is celebrating Christmas...
28:26LAUGHTER
28:27LAUGHTER
28:28Well, she's not here, is she?
28:30Missed!
28:35Just out of interest, Rick,
28:36where can Alison see you perform next year?
28:38Yeah!
28:39LAUGHTER
28:40Um, here, there and everywhere.
28:41We're on tour in April, which...
28:43Are we?
28:44Yes, we're all on tour.
28:46LAUGHTER
28:47Um...
28:48Short notice.
28:49Yeah.
28:50So, um...
28:51Yes.
28:52We can't wait.
28:53We can't wait, we're looking forward to it.
28:54And now, Harry, you and Alison both host different versions of Bake Off,
28:57but you have brought your own showstopper to the show tonight.
29:00LAUGHTER
29:01Yeah, I've got to go back there again.
29:02Go on.
29:03LAUGHTER
29:04Well, I just think, you know, people forget, um, what Christmas is really about.
29:10Yeah.
29:11And what they concentrate on is the food.
29:13You know, it's all about the food.
29:14Mm.
29:15So, what I've done is I've done a, um, my own...
29:18A savoury...
29:20Nativity.
29:21Um...
29:22Frazzles!
29:23Which I've...
29:24LAUGHTER
29:25Which I've made.
29:26Which I've made myself.
29:28And what...
29:29Just trying to get the message of Christmas through...
29:31LAUGHTER
29:32Through...
29:33Through food.
29:34Smells lovely.
29:36And...
29:37Do you want me to...
29:38Do you want me to talk you through it?
29:40Yes, please.
29:41So, these are frazzles on the roof of the, uh...
29:43LAUGHTER
29:44That's the...
29:45It's a pom-bear.
29:46LAUGHTER
29:47As...
29:48As the angel Gabriel.
29:49LAUGHTER
29:50And then we have the three kings here, which I...
29:54I made from...
29:55Pepparamis, cos they're spicy, a bit more exotic.
29:58LAUGHTER
29:59You've got the two sausages here.
30:02Joseph and Mary.
30:03Obviously, Joseph is a bit taller than Mary.
30:05LAUGHTER
30:06Yeah.
30:07And then you've got the star of the show,
30:09the Baby Jesus, which is a pig in blanket.
30:13And there's the...
30:14LAUGHTER
30:15I don't mean that in a sort of negative...
30:18You know, in a...
30:19LAUGHTER
30:20I don't want any trouble.
30:22LAUGHTER
30:23You've got the manger made out of chip sticks.
30:25They're nice.
30:26And then you've got the halo there.
30:28LAUGHTER
30:29So that's just something that perhaps people could, you know,
30:31make their own tradition now.
30:33LAUGHTER
30:34The savoury nativity.
30:36Would you like to...?
30:37Have you got it in kit form?
30:38Do you like...
30:39You sell it in a kit?
30:40Could you...?
30:41It's about 12 quid.
30:42LAUGHTER
30:43I mean, the slight problem with it is, to secure the sausages,
30:46you do have to use, um...screws.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:51And we're going to have more last leg for you after the break,
30:54as Alex performs a Hallmark Christmas scene we've written just for tonight.
30:58But right now, Rick Astley is going to perform his first Christmas hit of the night.
31:02Before he does, though, we've talked a lot about Alex's love of Christmas,
31:06but Lib Dem leader Ed Davey revealed in an interview this year
31:09that he listens to Christmas tunes all year round.
31:12Wow.
31:13How do we feel about that?
31:14Is that all right?
31:15Oh, I wouldn't.
31:16But isn't his birthday on Christmas Day?
31:17That's the reason, isn't it?
31:18Uh...
31:19I think his birthday's on Christmas Day, so that's probably one of the reasons
31:22why it means a lot to him.
31:23Yeah.
31:24Because otherwise it'd just be fucking weird.
31:26LAUGHTER
31:27APPLAUSE
31:29Well, it's going to make the next bit awkward.
31:40Uh, Rick is going to play us into the break,
31:42but who better to introduce him than the leader of the Lib Dems...
31:46LAUGHTER
31:48So, Ed Davey!
31:50Hi, guys, it's Ed Davey here.
31:53Merry Christmas to you all.
31:55It's true, I like listening to Christmas music all year round.
31:59The reason is, my daughter and I love winding up her mum,
32:04and it's on my iPhone and we play it in the car all the time.
32:07Um, I'm never going to give up Christmas,
32:10so here's Rick Astley.
32:12APPLAUSE
32:20Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
32:25In a lane, snow is glisting.
32:29A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight.
32:33Walking in a winter wonderland.
32:36Get around, we'll conspire.
32:40As we dream, by the fire.
32:44To face unafraid.
32:46The plans that remain.
32:48Walking in a winter wonderland.
32:51Come on, Rick, let's go!
32:55We're talking, let's go!
32:57Happy New Year!
32:58We be wedding, Ray audience ì°ëœs in black pattern.
33:00We be loyal.
33:03It must be a dream, but this crazy way is the zombie.
33:07That is trouble when we talk all day over again.
33:11A big return on ourç© stand.
33:13The Wolverine Bridge on the beach I race.
33:15We are experts in society, but you have no doubt about me,
33:16with your dream ...
33:18That if you are 30 time besides guns and theæșse MGYU in the world.
33:22ımı to be a birthday girly warriors.
33:24Welcome back to Last Leg, we're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill, Alex you're definitely changing
33:36I feel a little bit more Christmassy at the moment, do you?
33:39I'm feeling it a little bit different at the moment, but...
33:43You're definitely progressing? No, I haven't
33:45Okay, Josh, would you like to explain who you are now?
33:50No, I'm from the Band-Aid video, so I'm Sarah Dallin from Bananarama of course
34:00Look at these jeans, they're fucking brilliant
34:06It ain't what I do, it's the way that I do it, we've always said it
34:09And obviously I'm Tom Hanks in the movie Forrest Gump because he famously said
34:13Life is like a box of chocolates and the main time you get chocolates is at Christmas
34:20You still look a bit like you're going to strip
34:23You know, Forrest Hump
34:26And now throughout the show we've been putting Alex through his paces to see how he'd fare on the US reality series Finding Mr Christmas
34:33The winner of the first series by the way earned a leading role in a holiday movie about the owner of a Seattle dog shelter
34:39who falls for a meticulous web page editor
34:42The movie was called Happy Howlidays
34:45See what you did there
34:47See what they did there
34:48Love it
34:49Alright, I'm going to send everyone, if you could all go over and get ready for the next challenge for Alex please
34:53Hi
34:54Over in that corner of the studio
34:56So Alex's final challenge tonight is to test out his acting chops
35:00In a scene we've written as the ultimate hallmark Christmas movie
35:04Lights, camera, Christmas
35:15Help! Help! I need an emergency appointment
35:18Oh my god, it's Alison Hammond, the big city TV presenter
35:21That's right
35:22I've become so career focused I've lost touch with what's important in life
35:27I'm single and I'm home for the holidays
35:31And?
35:32And I've hit a dog
35:36Thank you
35:37Oh my god, what happened?
35:39I'll tell you what happened
35:54It's quite difficult to talk because it's really tight on the jaw
35:58At least do a dog voice
36:00I'll tell you what happened
36:08That's better
36:09Yeah, is that better?
36:10That's better
36:11I was just sitting there by the side of the road licking my own balls
36:15And she came round the corner like a lunatic and hit me
36:18Yeah, but he's such a cutie, I've really fallen for him
36:21Is there anyone here who can treat him?
36:24I can't let him die
36:25I'm the presenter of For the Love of Dogs
36:28Of course, Miss Hammond
36:30Do you know what?
36:31The hot vet will see you now
36:32Oh
36:33But I'm next
36:34I'm sorry, Mr. Hill
36:35Your cat's gonna have to wait
36:37It's not the cat I'm worried about
36:38It's the Robins
36:49I'm afraid Miss Hammond is next
36:51But I'm on the telly
36:52I know but not as much as Alison
36:54No one's on the telly as much as Alison
36:56No
36:57No
36:58No
36:59The hot vet will see you now
37:04Somebody order a dream boat
37:06Are you the hot vet?
37:08Yes
37:09I'm sweating buckets
37:10Do you know how hard it is to operate with these little hands?
37:12You look like a man who could really heal my heart, I mean dog
37:18What kind of dog is it?
37:19I don't know, one of those really little whiny ones by the looks of it
37:23I tell you what, why don't you come back to my charming little cottage and have Christmas with me and my children?
37:31They've been missing a mother figure in their life ever since my wife died in a tragic Christmas kite accident
37:37Oh
37:38Oh
37:39Yeah, and then we could go back to the big city and maybe you could become the resident vet on this morning
37:45Bosh!
37:46There you go little fella
37:47Oh what?
37:48Get that on there boy
37:49Oh what?
37:50Is that it?
37:51Stop whinging or I'll cut your bollocks off
37:52Come on princess let's go
37:53Oi what about my robins?
38:08This Christmas Alex Brooker is the hot vet in Hallmark's new movie Vet the Hall
38:17Alright, it's time to bring out a Christmassy mystery guest
38:32Harry and Alison have to try to work out why they were in the news this year
38:36Can we please have this week's mystery guest?
38:39Mystery guest, mystery guest, Christmas mystery guest
38:43Oh what fun it is to have a Christmas mystery guest
38:47Guest
38:49Welcome Josh, Alex, who is the mystery guest?
38:51This is Rob, he was in the news this year for a Christmassy reason
38:55Mm-hmm
38:56But what was it? Can we have the dramatic lighting change please?
39:02So, did Rob get suspended from Broadland Radio for playing
39:06All I want for Christmas is you on October the 3rd
39:10Did he get suspended as a school exam invigilator
39:13After playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade
39:16To signal the end of the final exam
39:19Or did Rob get suspended by an undertaker
39:21After mistakenly playing last Christmas
39:24Rather than the last post at a funeral
39:31What do you think?
39:32Well I don't think you'd make a mistake at a funeral
39:34You'd be well prepared
39:36Does he look like an undertaker?
39:41That's a grave digger
39:42That's a grave digger, yeah
39:46I'll tell you what, we'll reveal the mystery guest after the break
39:48Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas
39:50We'll see you in a little bit
39:51We'll see you in a little bit
40:09Welcome back to Last Leg
40:11We're joined by Alison Hammond and Harry Hill
40:13Alex has now become full Father Christmas
40:16Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
40:20There you go
40:22That was a good one
40:24You know what, in another reality where the cards had fallen different
40:29He'd currently be doing that in a grotto in a garden centre
40:31You're not entirely sure what's going on with your costume
40:35Well I didn't think we had very long
40:38So I was the dog already
40:39So I just shoved mine on top of the dog
40:42Okay
40:43So I'm Boy George
40:44Do you know what I'm calling this outfit?
40:56What?
40:57Hair Boy George
41:04Clearly I'm Tom Hanks from Castaway
41:07Because when he first experiences pain due to an infected tooth
41:10That goes on to become an ongoing issue whilst he's on the island
41:13He's had a Christmas dinner
41:16Oh, and I've got the volleyball as well
41:20Ha ha ha ha ha
41:23Recognise that handprint
41:27Before the break we challenged our guest to work out how this person was connected to the news
41:31Can we have the options again please
41:33Yes, this is Rob, and he was connected to the news this year for a Christmassy reason
41:38for a Christmassy reason, but what was it?
41:40Was it because Rob got suspended from Broadland Radio
41:43for playing All I Want For Christmas Is You on October 3rd?
41:47Was it because he got suspended as a school exam invigilator
41:50after playing Merry Christmas Everyone by Slade
41:53to signal the end of the final exam?
41:55Or did he get suspended by an undertaker
41:58after mistakenly playing Last Christmas
42:00rather than the last post at a funeral?
42:03Ho, ho!
42:05Harry, Ellison?
42:06Could we, could you say something sort of local radio-ish?
42:11That we could see with it?
42:13Coming up on the show!
42:14Well, hi, folks. Hope you're having a good Sunday.
42:17Uh, yeah. Yeah, is that it?
42:19You've got a good voice for radio.
42:21Could you say? You could have said no, Rob.
42:24LAUGHTER
42:27Shall we go with the radio?
42:30Yes, it's very...
42:31Would they suspend someone just for playing...
42:33It's a bit mean, isn't it?
42:35If they've done that, that is mean.
42:37It's a cutthroat world, local radio.
42:38I wouldn't be listening to that radio station anyway.
42:40If the band is literally doing that.
42:41Oh, exactly.
42:42Well, that's the last time you listen to Broadland Radio, isn't it?
42:45LAUGHTER
42:46Well, I thought you said Broadmoor.
42:48LAUGHTER
42:50All right, Rob. Rob, can you reveal your identity, please?
42:56I am indeed Rob Chandler, breakfast presenter at Broadland Radio,
43:03and I was suspended for playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song
43:06early in October.
43:07Amazing.
43:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:09Ooh, indeed!
43:11Well, why did you play it and then why did they suspend you?
43:15Well, it started with a text from a listener called Becky,
43:19who said she was putting out her Christmas stock in her shop
43:23and could I play a Christmas song?
43:24So I thought, tell you what, if I get at least five listener texts
43:28saying, ho, ho, ho...
43:30Ho, ho, ho!
43:32Exactly.
43:32LAUGHTER
43:34I'll consider it.
43:35And we did.
43:36We got a load of texts saying, ho, ho, ho.
43:38One or two saying, no, no, no.
43:41But then Billy the Taxi Driver...
43:43You must know Billy the Taxi Driver.
43:46No.
43:47LAUGHTER
43:49Another keen listener text and said,
43:53there's a tub of chocolates in it for you
43:55if you play Mariah Carey.
43:58All I want for Christmas is you.
44:00So, came back after the news and I read that text
44:04out and I said, quite frankly, I'm disappointed, Billy,
44:07that you could think I could be so shallow to fall
44:11for such a blatant bribe.
44:14Yeah.
44:15Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
44:16Oh!
44:18He played the song.
44:19Yeah.
44:20How long was he suspended for?
44:22How long was he suspended?
44:22One day.
44:23Oh, is that all?
44:24Yeah.
44:26Did he go shopping?
44:27What did he do?
44:28Well, just stayed in bed all day.
44:29Chill day.
44:31Can we please have a round of applause for Rome?
44:33All right, we are about to end the show
44:41with a Christmas sing-along from Rick Astley,
44:42but before we do, would you please thank our guests,
44:44Alison Hammond...
44:46..Harry Hill...
44:49..and my co-hosts, Josh Riddickam...
44:53..and Alex Brooker.
44:55LAUGHTER
44:56We'll be back next week for our New Year's Eve special
44:58with an incredible line-up.
44:59Musician Peter Doherty, comedians Maisie, Adam and Phil Wang,
45:02national treasure Sir Lenny Henry,
45:04TV personality Danny Dyer,
45:06rugby star Hannah Botterman,
45:08lioness Lucy Bronze,
45:09as well as a celebrity barman who is 100% faithful...
45:13LAUGHTER
45:14Right now, though, Rick Astley is going to sing us into Christmas.
45:17Thanks for watching The Last League.
45:18My name's Adam Hills.
45:19Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
45:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:26You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry.
45:34You'd better not pout, I'm telling you why.
45:37Santa Claus is coming to town.
45:42It's snowing, Rob, let's go!
45:44It's snowing, Rob.
46:08He sees you when you're sleeping
46:13He knows when you're awake
46:16He knows if you've been bad or good
46:20So be good for goodness sake
46:23You better watch out
46:25You better not cry
46:27You better not cry
46:29I'm telling you why
46:30Santa Claus is coming to town
46:35He's got eight billion toys on his sleigh
46:40He's packed, he's coming your way
46:44Santa, it's coming to town
46:50Ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
46:54Bang! Merry Christmas!
47:05Thank you
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