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00:00Christine!
00:02That's me definitely going.
00:04Going where?
00:06To Ireland. For God's sake, Beth,
00:08do you not listen to a thing I tell you?
00:10Of course I do. We're in the middle
00:12of a big clear art and I'm just a wee bit busy.
00:14Right, okay. I'll come in
00:16and I'll talk you through the arrangements.
00:18I cannot stay long.
00:20Right.
00:24You putting your Christmas tree up?
00:26It's a bit early, is it, no?
00:30Yes, well, we were up in the loft anyways
00:32so we just thought we might as well.
00:34You see, I always
00:36follow what the church does
00:38and they put it up twelve days before.
00:40No, you're thinking a twelfth night.
00:42That's when you take it down.
00:44Yes, a church puts theirs up
00:46on the first Sunday of December.
00:48Do they? Well, that's
00:50awful early. I think I'll have
00:52to have a word with Father Haggerty about that.
00:54I don't think it was ever
00:56up that early on Father Kowalski's
00:58day, but he really
01:00was a religious man.
01:02Where is it he is now?
01:04Being Cue in its hill.
01:06But I don't think I'll bother putting up
01:08a tree this year, what with me not being here.
01:10What's this?
01:12I'm going to visit my cousin Dervla in Ireland
01:14for Christmas, Eric.
01:16Oh, it's fantastic, Christine. It's so nice
01:18that they made contact with you.
01:20I know, Beth. And to think if Dervla
01:22hadn't sent that saliva sample
01:24off to Ancestry.com,
01:26we might never have known
01:28that we were related.
01:30Imagine if she'd
01:32had a dry mouth that day.
01:34And whereabouts are they?
01:36County Galway, Eric.
01:38I got the train to Stronra,
01:40a ferry to Larn,
01:42a bus into Belfast,
01:44and then coach down to Galway.
01:46Bet you'd attract that.
01:48So, will it be Dervla's whole family?
01:50Oh, yes.
01:51Her husband Owen,
01:52now he's got his own plumbing business,
01:54so I will be looking forward to a bath.
01:57That's definitely on the list.
01:59And then there's our twin girls,
02:01Maeve and Aoife.
02:03It'll be nice to meet them.
02:05Because they're actually my,
02:07what is it, my first cousins?
02:09No, no, no. Second.
02:11Oh, aye.
02:12I'm forgetting they're twins.
02:14Well, you'll have a great time, I'm sure.
02:17Oh, I hope so, Eric.
02:19I must say I'm looking forward to it.
02:22Although it will be strange
02:24not being at home on Christmas Day.
02:27I know you're always keen to have me in here, Beth,
02:31so I do feel a bit guilty
02:33that I might be letting you down.
02:35Are you sure you're okay with me going?
02:37You're all right.
02:38You'll be fine.
02:39Well, I think it's time we get down
02:41to discussing what bag I'm taking, eh?
02:43Ah, well, the thing is, Christine...
02:45PHONE RINGS
02:46Oh, who's this interrupting us?
02:52I don't know what the...
02:54That's not you get your Christmas tree up already,
02:56is it, Beth?
02:57Beth?
02:58Well, I...
02:59It's a bit early, is it not?
03:00Well, we were up in the loft.
03:02Do you know, just let her do it, Con.
03:04It'll brighten up that dingy front room.
03:06I suppose so.
03:07It's okay, Beth, that's fine.
03:08If it gives you something I'll look forward to,
03:10that's okay.
03:11Should we go in and see it?
03:13Oh...
03:14She'll be put out if we don't.
03:15Do you know what she's like?
03:16Right.
03:17We'll just come in for a minute and see it, Beth.
03:23Apparently, the cooked breakfast on board the Stenna Line
03:27are excellent, eh?
03:29Irene up the high flats told me
03:31they serve a black pudding
03:33that is technically illegal on dry land.
03:36Oh, here he is.
03:38Wee elf here helping you paint your tree up, Beth.
03:41He's far too big for an elf, Con.
03:44And there's Christine.
03:46How you doing?
03:47Oh, not bad, Colin.
03:48That is me all booked up for Ireland for Christmas.
03:52You're going to Ireland for Christmas, are you?
03:54Oh, yes.
03:55I'm staying with my cousin Devler in Galway.
03:58Oh, that's nice.
03:59You're not going to be here, Christine.
04:02You'll be having a bit of the black stuff over there, eh?
04:05Remember, we went to the Guinness factory
04:06when we were in Dublin, Kath.
04:08Oh, God, that place!
04:09Oh, I will not be going back there.
04:11Oh, why not?
04:12Only serve as fucking Guinness.
04:14So, is this you getting off set for Christmas, then?
04:16What's the plans?
04:18Oh, well, nothing special.
04:20It's just the two of us,
04:21so just, you know, traditional.
04:23Traditional?
04:24Well, you've not made a very good start
04:26putting your tree up this fucking early.
04:29And what about you two?
04:30Do you know what you're doing?
04:31We're going to that same hotel again on Christmas Day,
04:34cos we quite like it, don't we?
04:36It's really festive how they decorate it all.
04:38And you get steak instead of turkey,
04:40a cocktail instead of Christmas pudding,
04:42and there's a massive smoking section out by the Nativity.
04:45The problem we've got is
04:47we don't know what presents to get.
04:49Well, I'm fine just with money.
04:51No, I mean, for each other.
04:54Yeah, we're not getting you anything, Eric.
04:56See, we've already caught everything, haven't we?
04:58Oh, poor you, right enough.
05:00I always get caught in pants for Christmas,
05:02but I can't get any more in the drawer.
05:04No.
05:05And you can't exactly take the old ones
05:06to the charity shop, can you?
05:08No, they don't take them.
05:09Well, certainly the British Heart Foundation don't.
05:12Though Irene did tell me about a website
05:15where there seems to be quite a lot of interest.
05:18We were just going up to the charity shop
05:21once we'd finished the tree.
05:23Are you getting yourself something, Beth?
05:25Well, it is finished, really,
05:26apart from turning on the lights.
05:28OK, then.
05:29Let's see the big switch on.
05:31Yes, come on, Eric.
05:32I'll puff your fat arse.
05:36Here, Beth.
05:37This reminds me of that time
05:39we saw Marty Perlow switch on the lights in Clyde Bank.
05:42Do you remember that, Beth?
05:43I do.
05:44I'm not actually sure whether he was on the heroin
05:47at that point,
05:48because we were quite far back, you know?
05:50Right.
05:51We all ready?
05:52Aye.
05:53Yeah.
05:54Come on, Eric.
05:55Oh, my God.
05:58You know, you can always stop by the dump as well.
06:02I don't know how much longer I'm going to manage
06:04getting in and out of this seat, Alan.
06:05You're about to start getting in the back?
06:06No, I mean, you might need to get a card
06:07or get on my insurance or something.
06:08Oh, aye.
06:09No, no.
06:10I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well.
06:11You may be trying to jump too soon.
06:12Look!
06:13Beth's got her Christmas tree up.
06:14Do you think we should go over and say a wee quick hello and see it?
06:18Yeah.
06:19We've got a nice picture of us in front of the house.
06:21I'm going to go over and see it.
06:22I'm not going to manage getting in and out of this seat, Alan.
06:24You're about to start getting in the back?
06:25No, I mean, you might need to get a card
06:26or get on my insurance or something.
06:27Aye.
06:28No, no, no.
06:29I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well.
06:30You may be trying to jump too soon.
06:32Look!
06:33Beth's got her Christmas tree up.
06:35Do you think we should go over and say a wee quick hello and see it?
06:37Yeah.
06:38There.
06:39We've got a nice picture of us in front of the Oscar Wilde statue in Dublin, haven't we?
06:44Aye.
06:45Oh, you know, my favourite quote of his is when he was going through customs in America
06:49and he said,
06:51I have nothing to declare but my genius.
06:56Well, I preferred the statue of Morley Malone.
06:59You go up, rubber tits brings you luck.
07:01Oh, for God's sake.
07:03I did as well.
07:04We went to Temple Bar after that.
07:06We didn't get hassled by one beggar.
07:09Oh.
07:10PHONE RINGS
07:11I'll go.
07:17Oh, hello, you two.
07:18Or should that be two and a half?
07:21She's some size new in Sherrick.
07:24Train to Strenra, ferry to land, bus to Belfast, coach to Galway.
07:29My God, I need a flight to Switzerland after that.
07:32That's a proper Irish road trip, that.
07:35It is, Colin.
07:36But, you know, I now feel I've got a really deep connection to Ireland,
07:40now that I know for sure that I've got Irish blood in me.
07:44If you're going to Galway, would you not be better flying to Shannon?
07:47Where's that?
07:48Oh, hi, Michelle.
07:49Hi, Alan.
07:50Hi.
07:51Hello, everyone.
07:52Sorry to just appear at your door, Beth.
07:53Don't worry about that.
07:54No-one else does.
07:55How are you, Michelle?
07:56Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
07:57Just so tired all the time.
07:58Oh, yeah, you do look really knackered.
08:00Come and sit down, Michelle.
08:01Come on.
08:02Yeah, there we go.
08:03Sit down, yeah.
08:04Who's you, Alan, eh?
08:05Everything all right?
08:06Aye, all right.
08:07Just back from the garage with the van.
08:08Oh, no.
08:09Something wrong with it?
08:10Somebody ran into the back of me, Eric.
08:11Oh, my God.
08:12What happened?
08:13Were you eating a sausage roll while you were driving, Alan?
08:15No.
08:16No.
08:17No.
08:18No.
08:19No.
08:20No.
08:21No.
08:22No.
08:23No.
08:24No.
08:25No.
08:26No.
08:27No.
08:28No.
08:29I was coming off the motorway to go through the tunnel, and it was a wee jam, so I had
08:34to slow right down.
08:35Next thing I know, somebody's ran into the back of me.
08:38They'd be on their phone, no doubt.
08:40Aye.
08:41And see the faucet?
08:42Mines flew right out of my hand, under the seat.
08:44They took their time fixing it at the garage, didn't they?
08:47Yeah.
08:48Alan was late picking me up from my antenatal class.
08:50Oh, no.
08:51That's fine, Biff.
08:52You can't see the dent at all.
08:54So, anyway, how are you guys doing?
08:57How is Ian?
08:58Oh, he's fine, aye.
08:59He's coming over to have a look through his old stuff before we junk it.
09:03Are you trying to get rid of every trace of him, Eric?
09:06Have you any baby stuff, Eric?
09:08Because maybe Alan and Michelle might want that.
09:10I remember she used to have them in a lot of brown, Michelle.
09:14Eric, it's fine.
09:15I've ordered loads of stuff already, actually.
09:18You know, the wee baby grows and the jammies and the wee onesies.
09:22They're just all so cute, aren't they?
09:25Oh, they are, Michelle.
09:26Well, until they soil them.
09:28Have you made any decisions on names, Michelle?
09:32No, because we still can't seem tiggery on anything, can we?
09:36But, if it's a boy, I like the name Lewis.
09:40Good Scottish name, that.
09:42I don't think it says a bit like loose, though, Eric.
09:45Are you definitely sure you don't want to find out what you're having, Michelle?
09:50I mean, that would make it a bit easier.
09:53No, I just don't want to know.
09:56No, I'm not that interested either, Michelle.
09:59Can I get you a tea or a glass of water or something?
10:02I'd take a water off you if it's not too much trouble, Beth.
10:05What about the rest of us, Beth?
10:07I hear.
10:08Have you got any mince pies?
10:10A wee cup of tea and a mince pie, that'd be nice.
10:12Well, the thing is...
10:13Why?
10:14A tea and a mince pie?
10:15I wouldn't say no.
10:16What's to the season?
10:17I fucking hate mince pies.
10:19Have you got the ones with the brandy in them, Beth?
10:21Well, I'd take one of them, though.
10:23No, you see...
10:24You know, I love the ones with all the cream on the top.
10:26Oh, have you tried them?
10:27Oh, I like the sound of them.
10:29Have you got any of them, Beth?
10:30I haven't got any mince pies.
10:33Aww.
10:34Why?
10:35You cannae invite us all in here saying it's the start of Christmas
10:39and know of any Christmas stuff in for us.
10:41We didn't do that.
10:42You've got your tree up, Eric.
10:44You know, that sends a message.
10:46It's like the swingers with the pampas grass.
10:48Yes, Eric, shut your face.
10:50Is that really a thing, that, the pampas grass?
10:53I thought it was just, like, one of those things folks say.
10:55Oh, no, no, no, no.
10:56There's a couple round the Newbolds that had it,
10:58and they were very, very active.
11:01Apparently.
11:02Beth, don't worry about the water, actually.
11:04I'm fine.
11:05Aye, and it makes the baby kick, then she goes on about it.
11:07Don't be daft.
11:08Of course I'll get you a glass of water,
11:10and I'm happy to do teas and coffees for anyone who's wanting.
11:14I just don't have any mince pies.
11:17I mean, we were just clearing out the loft,
11:20not declaring that it was officially Christmas.
11:23I mean, I'd like to have the power to do that,
11:25but I'm afraid I don't.
11:27OK?
11:28Beth, you don't even have a wee tub of celebrations or nothing, no?
11:41A bit early with the tree, are you not?
11:55What is it, just feeling Christmassy?
11:57I wish we'd never bothered, to be honest.
12:02Quality Street is what I used to get
12:05when it was just Sophie and me, you know?
12:08Oh, the green ones were my favourite.
12:10I used to love them.
12:12No, I'm not a bit Sophie.
12:13What ones were hers?
12:14Oh, the other ones.
12:17All right.
12:18Not like you to have a house full.
12:19Aye, son.
12:20Aye, Ian.
12:21Aye, Dad.
12:22Aye, Colin.
12:23Aye, Cathy.
12:24How you doing, Ian?
12:25Oh, I'm fine.
12:26How are you guys? Everything OK?
12:27OK, I'm fine.
12:28Not really, Ian.
12:29Somebody went into the back of my van.
12:30Oh, no.
12:31I know.
12:32I'll just get it back today.
12:33You weren't in it at the time, were you?
12:34No.
12:35Oh, well.
12:36Could have been worse.
12:37I've seen that, but that was two full days.
12:38It was after odd.
12:42Anyway, how are you doing, Ian?
12:43How's Gordon?
12:44Aye, he's good.
12:45He's coming over here to meet me after college.
12:46Oh, is he still enjoying it?
12:48Oh, aye.
12:49He's loving it.
12:50I'm not loving being the only one earning, no?
12:51No.
12:52And you'll be in a very poor wage as it is, Ian.
12:56What did he pack his job in for anyway, Ian?
12:58Oh, basically he just wasn't happy.
13:00Oh, you see?
13:01This is the new thing, isn't it?
13:04You don't like something, you just stop doing it.
13:07Never used to be like that.
13:09No, you just kept going.
13:11That was your lot.
13:12You just had to accept it.
13:14Like you with Eric, Beth.
13:15Right, listen.
13:16You want to look through this stuff from the loft before we throw it out?
13:19All right, now.
13:20Oh.
13:21OK, where is it?
13:22I'll go and get it.
13:25So, what are you and Gordon up to for Christmas then?
13:28Oh, just having a quiet one, to be honest.
13:30We did invite them, but they said no.
13:32Oh, Gordon's got an assignment to do over the holidays.
13:34Sort of taking over everything at the minute.
13:36And what's it on?
13:37That's the thing.
13:38He can't make up his mind.
13:39Do you think he's quite a weak person, Ian?
13:43We get rid of a lot of other stuff, but we weren't sure whether he'd want to keep any of this.
13:48God, my old laptop.
13:53I remember the year you got me this.
13:55I remember going to Curry's out at Renfrew to get it.
13:58Oh, that is a nice store, that.
14:01Me and Pat went there to get Sophie her Game Boy.
14:05That was a big present that year.
14:07Did you get her one?
14:08No, they were sold out.
14:09So I just got her a lady shave instead.
14:12And if I remember right, I think Pat got some Hoover bags.
14:17God, I can remember taking the wrapping off it.
14:19Then straight upstairs and onto the porn, eh, Ian?
14:22Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day.
14:26We didn't want to just throw it out.
14:28No, no, no, listen.
14:29He could have some good stuff in it, Eric.
14:31Look, I'll take this, but you can get rid of this.
14:33Oh, are you sure?
14:34That hat and scarf set was a present as well.
14:37I don't think you've ever worn them.
14:39Ian.
14:41He was always a very ungrateful wee boy, Michelle.
14:45I remember I gave him a banana once and he just threw it behind the hut.
14:51You'll need to get your mum something decent for that this year, Ian,
14:54to make up for that.
14:56Just get her a bottle of rosé, Ian.
14:58That's what we do.
14:59She always seems genuinely quite happy.
15:02Sorry, Mum.
15:04I'll take those as well.
15:05Oh, well, if you're sure.
15:07And if you don't like them, maybe Gordon will.
15:09Yeah.
15:10He's got no fashion sense at all, Ian.
15:12I still don't understand how he's starting college at his age.
15:16I mean, is he no too old?
15:18He's a mature student.
15:20Yeah, exactly.
15:21He's a mature student.
15:23Hello.
15:24How's it going?
15:25Are we going just now or am I coming in?
15:26No, I'm coming in, aren't I?
15:27Righto.
15:28I get the train to Stranraa, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast, coach down to Galway.
15:44Well, that's a hurrier trip, that.
15:46Alan.
15:47It's a fair way, Alan, but when it is family, it is worth all the effort.
15:52Quite right.
15:53And, you know, you'll be like Santa coming down from the North Pole with your big sack
15:58of Christmas presents.
15:59I'll not need to buy them all presents, will I?
16:04Hi, Gordon.
16:05Oh, hiya, Gordon.
16:06Hi.
16:07Gordon, what's that you've got on your head?
16:09Oh, it's my helmet.
16:10I came on my scooter.
16:12You came here by scooter?
16:14Yeah.
16:15I'll be one of those e-scooters.
16:17Oh.
16:18What do you fancy one myself?
16:19Is that an e-scooter you've got, Gordon?
16:21No, it's just a regular one.
16:23Oh.
16:24Oh.
16:25Gordon, come here a minute.
16:27Come here.
16:28That's you.
16:33It was, er, sticking up a bit.
16:36So how's your course going, Gordon?
16:39Yeah, good.
16:40Yeah.
16:41What is it you're studying again?
16:42Sociology and Literature.
16:44Oh, right.
16:45You're not bothered about getting a job after, are you?
16:48Ian says you've got an assignment to do.
16:50Oh, yeah.
16:51I haven't made up my mind what to do it on yet.
16:54It's meant to be something on cultural change, but it's such a big subject.
16:58Oh, God, yeah.
16:59What about Emmerdale going onto YouTube?
17:02I don't think that's the sort of thing Gordon's studying on his course, Christine.
17:07So it's literature you're doing, is it?
17:10Tell you a good book.
17:11What's that one I read on holiday?
17:13Oh, fuck that.
17:14You wouldn't put that down.
17:15He was reading it in bed.
17:16I know.
17:17I got right into it.
17:18So I did.
17:19I know what it was.
17:20It was Duncan Bannatine's autobiography.
17:22You read that, Gordon?
17:23Er, no.
17:24No.
17:25What about Maeve Benchy?
17:26You read any hers?
17:27All set in Ireland.
17:29They'll not be doing Maeve Benchy books in a literature course.
17:32I know it.
17:33There's fucking tons of them.
17:35I see you've got your Christmas tree up, Mrs. Baird.
17:39Well, it's awful early, is it not, Gordon?
17:42You've no good years up, have you?
17:44Well, no.
17:45It's also shit.
17:46Look at the state of it.
17:48It'll look great when you've got the rest of the decorations up.
17:52You're not seeing this as it, are you?
17:55Well, we were having a clear out and there was decorations there that we'd had for years.
17:59They were a bit tatty.
18:01Erm, if you throw out everything tatty, you're not going to have anything left.
18:06Oh, Beth, we've got absolutely loads of Christmas decorations if you want some, haven't we, Alan?
18:10Aye.
18:11She can't go past them in a short without buying them.
18:13It's the same with toilet rolls.
18:15You've both got hundreds of them.
18:17I know, that's very kind, Michelle.
18:19Look, we've got piles of old ones as well.
18:21Aye, you could always have mine, Beth, since I'm going to be in Ireland.
18:25Alan, are we going to get some for Beth and Eric?
18:28Michelle, no, we...
18:29Oh, honestly, Eric, it's fine.
18:31We've got way more than we've got room to put up, so...
18:33Come on, Eric, it's fucking miserable in here.
18:42Are we ready?
18:43It's good.
18:44Yeah.
18:52That's proper Christmassy now, isn't it?
18:54Well, not till we get a bottle open.
18:59What about you boys?
19:00Well, shh!
19:01Won't tell anyone you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon.
19:04Em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em!
19:07Yeah, I'll take one, if that's OK with you, Michelle.
19:10Oh, yeah, you guys go ahead.
19:12I'll just stick to my water.
19:14Did you not realise that being pregnant was going to be really boring, Michelle?
19:17Is it OK if I have a lager?
19:20Of course it is, Alan.
19:22Are you just saying that now and you'll give me a row later?
19:24Or do you really mean it?
19:27I think I've got a bottle of fizz in the fridge.
19:30Woo!
19:31You know, and I think it feels like Christmas is coming,
19:33when you hear the Christmas songs on the radio.
19:36Yeah, I love Christmas songs.
19:38Hey, Eric, have you got that Christmas album?
19:41I think I do.
19:42As long as you haven't thrown it out.
19:44Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey.
19:47So when is it you're off to Ireland, Christine?
19:49Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle.
19:53Oh, God, it's just so exciting.
19:55You're going to have such a brilliant time.
19:57We loved Dublin, didn't we?
19:58We were saying earlier, Alan,
20:00that the Guinness that you get in the Guinness factory
20:02isn't like anywhere else.
20:03Aye, it's 20 fucking euro.
20:08Awww!
20:14Right, everyone want one?
20:16Beth.
20:19Sorry, Michelle.
20:20Oh, Beth, don't worry, I'm fine.
20:22I like my water.
20:23It's all right, Michelle.
20:24You can get pissed again once the baby's here.
20:26Well, this is a bit more like it, eh?
20:29Cheers, everybody.
20:30Aye, cheers.
20:31Cheers.
20:33Here, Beth.
20:34Could you go and get me that wee glass that I like?
20:37I don't like the way this one feels in my hand.
20:40Oh.
20:44Thanks.
20:45Here.
20:46I hope you won't be so fussed over on Ireland, Christine,
20:48or they'll send you back.
20:52Dad, stick it onto the next song.
20:54I can't be bothered with this one.
20:55It goes on for ages.
21:00Oh, no, no, no, Cole.
21:01No, no, no.
21:02I hate this one.
21:03Get it off.
21:04She hates this.
21:05Why do you not like it, Cathy?
21:06I don't like the sound of children singing, Gordon.
21:08No, this, this is a classic.
21:09Oh, does this one not do your head in?
21:10Would you not like it, Alan?
21:11Look, it's all right, but you hear it everywhere you go, don't you?
21:12It is a bit ubiquitous, yeah.
21:14I'll tell you what not you hear everywhere.
21:23Band-aid.
21:26Oh, it was amazing what they did with that.
21:28Oh, yes.
21:29Mm-hmm.
21:30Although, there is a bit of a backlash against it now.
21:33Against Band-aid?
21:34Has it caused Bono's a wank?
21:37Alan?
21:38It is, but-
21:39It's just, they think it maybe did more harm than good,
21:41than good because it made people feel they'd solved the problem of global inequality when
21:45in actual fact it's worsened with the impact of climate change plus there's the whole white
21:50savior thing which is quite toxic as well oh i didn't realize it was so controversial
21:58well it's an interesting debate i personally think that this is the best one ever oh i do
22:06like this what is it the pokes shane mcgowan always pissed oh him yes there's a couple of names for
22:14you michelle what well shane for a boy or kirsty for a girl good irish name that michelle shane
22:22actually i i quite like those all right wee shane edgar sounds good don't it or kirsty
22:30ah that's all right enough here christine this is the one where the choir's singing galway bay
22:37that's where you'll be at christmas oh here so it is christine it's just gonna feel really weird
22:43you being away at your cousins for christmas beth
22:48do you think it's gonna be okay what do you mean we going to deathless but it's well it's just i
23:01know that sometimes i can be a wee bit demanding oh christine what if they end up wishing they'd never
23:10made contact with me i can't wait to see the back of me you're going to have a wonderful time christmas is
23:16for families and they're your family they're gonna be thrilled you're there do you think so yes
23:26here beth you know how i'm getting the train to strenra and then getting the ferry yes train to
23:33strenra ferry to learn bus to belfast and coach to go away you okay to give me a lift into the station
23:41yes you okay there gordon any problem with this song well it depends which version it is what well
23:50there's a word in the song that's quite offensive so what word well i don't really want to say it i
23:56think i know what it is what is it beth is it scumbag what is wrong with scumbag it rhymes with maggot
24:03it rhymes with maggot maybe just forward on to the next one what rhymes with maggot i know i know what
24:11is it it begins with an f christine fuck with look maybe just put it off dad what is it
24:23what's wrong with that it's quite offensive especially to gay people i thought it was
24:29poof there was the one that he's done he like oh it's getting to the point you can't say anything
24:33without offending someone oh here we go well it's ridiculous i mean you can't even have a bit of
24:39homophobic swearing in a christmas song anymore i think it's more we're just becoming more aware of
24:47how the things we say impact on other people and a recognition that some terms that were once in common
24:52usage were in fact offensive frankly we should probably make a move what other words can we
24:59not say gordon well it's not up to me what about fanny if someone was to call you a silly fanny would
25:05you be offended by that kathy well i wouldn't really be offended but i mean if we're going to get into
25:11it i don't really think anyone should be using a female body part as an insult does that mean that
25:16you cannae say christine what about dick can you still call someone a dick that's less bad oh thank god
25:23for that i see that quite a lot don't i i may as well why is dick not as bad gordon well it's that
25:31men have historically been the dominant gender so what about wanker gordon because technically that's
25:37that's either isn't it arsehole you know we've all got one of those and where would the gays be
25:42we suit them oh i really think we should head you know what i think gordon what
25:51i think you should do your assignment on all of this language and all that how it's changed
25:59you really know what you're talking about but i i don't think that's
26:02i can't really see how that would actually that's a really good idea
26:16don't forget your hat and scarf ah yeah see about that do you mind if we don't do presents this year
26:23oh right yeah it's just we're a bit skint this year with me being at college is that why you're not
26:29coming over on christmas day kind of yeah do not worry about presents but come over for dinner we'd
26:39love to have you right okay thank you cheers mom um no hugs for me gordon
26:50that's a nice kiss for you as well bye
27:10oh is that your scooter gordon yeah
27:14oh what if col would like one of those oh my god i could get him one for his christmas
27:19col col come and get a look at gordon's scooter what's happening i think col has got to have a
27:26gordon gordon's scooter oh i'd quite like to see that i haven't been in one of these for years go on col
27:36gordon's scooter oh my fucking van
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