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Workin' Moms - Season 1 Episode 4 -
Bad Help
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#RealityTVDeep
Bad Help
Heartland
#RealityTVDeep
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Short filmTranscript
00:00moon crescent and then come down yeah for a boat pose can we all be brave
00:05adults and just admit that babies don't need yoga yeah well okay we can move on
00:12to something else yeah who's got a new topic I'm incontinent I'm pregnant
00:20congratulations Anne Sheila if you don't mind we'll revisit your incontinence
00:24after we've talked about Anne's good news sure so when are you two uh looking like late May
00:30oh late May yikes what what is it well are you worried about a Taurus baby no Alicia I'm actually
00:39not worried about a Taurus baby I am worried about 10 million other things like who the hell is going
00:44to take care of all these tiny humans I've decided to create yeah sounds messy and it sounds like
00:49you're going to need some extra help have you thought about hiring a nanny no well haven't we
00:53all considered hiring a nanny pretty luxurious though as soon as I start making some green you
00:58know I'm hiring a nanny little tip though don't hire your mother it gets very personal very quickly
01:03Ian's our nanny and I'm pretty sure he's doing nothing with our kid you try talking to him no
01:11he's a writer so he's better with his words than me you want to out talk Ian next time that he gives
01:18you any trouble you just attack him with some eye language so basically you phrase everything in
01:23terms of how it's affecting you all while smiling with soft eyes even when you're insulting him
01:28what do you mean here we go how do you not know what I mean I feel like I am being very clear
01:38I'm worried that you may be a slow person that'll work I don't think that'll work you can follow it
01:45up with a blowjob if you are concerned depending on your time you know
01:49reptiles need to use very little of the energy they generate themselves to warm their bodies
02:01in fact they use around a tent mom you have to change the diaper pail and can you put some food
02:07in Ollie's bowl you know there's trash cans right this place is a mess hello what are you guys even
02:15planning on leaving the house today and what are you watching you know Kate it's a little early for
02:20your judgmental commentary right wait what are you doing with that there was no lid on that mom it's
02:27probably been sitting out all night you can't feed him that sorry didn't notice is it not too much to
02:35ask that you just tidy up the house feed the dog not poison my son you know what Kate I'm doing my
02:43best are you yes all right well then my bad okay I'll just throw the stuff away and I'll see you at
02:52lunch somewhere with a nice fresh fish fresh fish yes please yeah
03:05telling you she's tough nothing I can't handle who the hell is this I get it I was a little girl
03:16once too I doubt you were ever little hell I doubt you were ever even a girl what is your problem Alice
03:23next I think you just need some extra attention Alice I'm gonna keep their eyes on you you can keep
03:28your eyes on me you live around here it's about a 20 minute drive really okay so this was a mistake
03:34you can go thank you I'm sorry but what part of stand up didn't you understand Alice you should be
03:40sorry that you thought you could pull off that shirt you look like a dental hygienist what does that even
03:45mean I got this I get it you think you're hot well let me tell you something you're just an average
03:53little girl who's actually really boring now stand up or I'll call the boy that you like and tell him
03:59you smell like headgear that's what I thought now go to your room and do your homework so you don't end
04:07up as boring as you look the only way to combat mean girl is with mean girl it's a transition but
04:16she'll get there wow you're hired uh could you not do that in here oh uh yeah I just thought it
04:30was better than doing it in the kitchen uh so what are you two doing today we are gonna go see a 35
04:39millimeter screening of tremors at the royal I think somebody's gonna like the snakes snakes yeah they're
04:45basically ground monsters that's totally inappropriate for a baby isn't that your favorite movie but I'm not
04:51a baby I just feel like you don't really trust me with her no I do it's just that I feel like I would
05:05like to know that you guys are going to save places that way I wouldn't have to worry about I's
05:12baby having nightmares what are you having a stroke no I'm just I'm jealous okay you guys get
05:23to bond all day while I'm stuck at work right I'm not buying it you're pumped to go to work it's weird
05:30do you even miss us yes I think about you guys all the time
05:35wasn't very nice I mean she didn't make the one why punish her you know
05:43Kate please don't discipline me not today why are you never on my side I am on your side I don't know
05:51her I don't care about her I mean she seems nice but I don't know her story I just it just felt a
05:56little nasty you know your tone is nasty oh boy your eyes are harsh and your discipline relentless
06:02okay mom uh this isn't working out I know I'm trying to stay open here and I know you're doing
06:09us a favor what are you saying are you dismissing me you would do that to your mother I don't know
06:20how to do this okay I just think it would be better for our relationship you know if if maybe you
06:24didn't watch Charlie anymore I think maybe I'd feel better safer safer not safer like just do not
06:32say another word I'll pack my bags what bags mom you don't actually live with us and it's actually
06:38not that simple I was hoping you could stick around for a little bit while we found another nanny
06:42a couple weeks a couple days a couple weeks well however I can be of service to you my dear
06:49I shall stay until you find someone more suitable thank you
06:56you've been drinking too much tonight you have why are you coming here you told me to leave
07:07get out of the elevator goodbye get out of my screen get out
07:15Jesus did I scare you I just wanted to hand off the monitor Jamie's sleeping
07:22mm-hmm you don't scare me cool I'm gonna go pick up Alice from school cool
07:28wait isn't it early well I thought I'd stop at the store and pick up some fruits and veggies first
07:34there aren't any here for after-school snacks
07:36huh I just swore and saw an apple around here somewhere
07:38I only found chips and other processed things
07:41yeah we must have blown through all that healthy stuff on the weekend
07:43anything I can grab at the store for you
07:47um how about a couple of carrots and celery and excess berries
07:51acai yeah you know what it's Lionel that eats all that crap
07:55I totally get it
07:56mm-hmm thanks it's a really big help
07:58it's so hard to keep this place stocked up
08:00kk see you late
08:02late
08:02uh hey you have a minute
08:19uh for you of course
08:22I've noticed a significant change in your behavior
08:26you've really been going above and beyond lately
08:28I mean you've turned your work in early
08:30you've stayed late every night this week
08:32so you're happy with me
08:34uh yeah
08:36knowing that I have your support
08:39makes me feel like I can do anything
08:41pretty sure my productivity is at an all-time high
08:45it's worth mentioning
08:46anyway um I was hoping if you had time after work today
08:52you'd want to have a little
08:55Jenny
08:56Ian
08:57hey baby
08:58want to stop by
09:02see you in action
09:03she said she wanted to see her badass mommy at work
09:05mm-hmm
09:06hey
09:08let me in
09:10Jenny's husband
09:12oh yeah yeah hi
09:13I'm Marvin her department manager
09:15nice to meet you
09:16Marvin the manager
09:17that's funny
09:18I like that
09:18okay honey
09:19um this is such a nice surprise
09:21but isn't it almost her nap time
09:24uh
09:24you know she's pretty lax about her schedule actually
09:27hey I was thinking the three of us could grab some lunch
09:28Ian it's almost four
09:30crap okay uh coffee
09:32she could use a coffee
09:33I should uh
09:35I should really dive back in
09:36it was really nice to meet you Ian
09:37you too
09:38Marvin the manager
09:39okay that is not funny
09:41oh come on
09:42that's funny
09:43as a writer
09:45as a writer I can confirm that that is very funny
09:46look I am serious here
09:47this is my place of business
09:49it just feels like you're kinda
09:51you know
09:52maybe hiding something
09:53no
09:53I'm just
09:54trying to be professional
09:56here
09:56and it's hard to do that
09:58when you two show up
09:59okay
09:59I'm sorry
10:01I feel bad
10:02it's okay
10:02don't worry about it
10:05see you at home
10:05that counts as your 15
10:11okay
10:11I read that she was actually sick on an elderly lady
10:15she claimed she had motion sickness
10:17code for mixing pills and booze
10:19probably
10:19she's a best-selling author and a mother of four
10:21how hard could it be
10:22someone tweeted a pic of her roaming coach
10:24talking to strangers
10:25I smell an addict
10:27it's not our job to judge
10:29just fix it
10:29who's up for restoring her image
10:31oh I can handle this
10:32I can handle this too
10:34how about both of you work on it
10:36I really don't need any help
10:38pretty straightforward job
10:39oh sorry Tim Trapped
10:40um Kate
10:41you have a phone call
10:42oh uh take a message
10:44actually it's your mum
10:45take a message please Rosie
10:48she was bit by your dog
10:49oh wow
10:54looks like your afternoon
10:55just got busy Kate
10:56don't worry about it
10:58take care of your mum
10:59I got this
11:01let's go
11:04hi Kate
11:16oh my god mom are you okay
11:18well I am now thanks to this wonderful doctor
11:21you know he and his wife are having a little baby too
11:24a little girl
11:25Kate wants a little girl but she's just so busy
11:28okay
11:29congrats on your baby
11:31is my mum okay
11:32yeah she will be fine
11:33the dog did break the skin
11:35so I provided her with a tetanus shot
11:36and a band-aid
11:38and I'll take some of that pain medication
11:40well good
11:41yeah whatever gets her through it
11:43Eleanor that must have been really scary
11:45it was Nathan
11:47it was very scary
11:48I thought well if this is it
11:50I can at least protect the baby on my way out
11:53I love him so dearly
11:55uh mom I'm so sorry about earlier
11:59please stay on with us
12:01it's so good for Charlie to be around his grandmother
12:04you know I hate that word
12:06well until you can think of an alternative
12:08you know Kate I don't know why you love that dog so much
12:10sometimes I think you have more intimacy with that dog
12:14than you do with your own husband
12:15okay we're all done here
12:20try to take it easy the next couple days
12:22call me if you have any complications
12:23thank you
12:24you know mom Nathan loves Ollie too
12:27Nathan
12:29yeah
12:30oh
12:31the dog
12:31yeah I mean I do love Ollie
12:34it's just
12:35you see you see that
12:35see what it's just what Nathan
12:37well it's just that he's a biter now
12:40and I don't think there's any coming back from that
12:42he was just being protective
12:44you know and
12:45and mom are you sure you weren't asking for it
12:47maybe just a little bit
12:48you know you could do some dramatic hand gestures
12:50that might trigger something
12:51or you do a whispery voice
12:53that puts some people on edge
12:54I'm just saying
12:54Kate what come on
12:56her skin is basically tissue paper
12:58I've seen her cut it on a spoon
12:59can we please do this some other time
13:02we both have to get back to work
13:03well I guess you're right Kate
13:05I will just have to be more vigilant
13:07that's all
13:07hey babe I am loving all the stuff the new nanny got
13:26so good feeling great
13:27about time we clean this house out
13:29yeah totally
13:30what the hell
13:32what
13:32where's my ice cream
13:34I threw it out
13:35oh
13:36you told me earlier that you'd like some changes around here
13:38so I took initiative
13:39so great
13:40Lionel
13:40okay
13:40I just need you to clear things with me
13:42before you go and throw out a bunch of perfectly good food
13:45because people are starving
13:46all over the world
13:48I personally think the world would be a whole lot better
13:50without things like ice cream
13:51you think the world would be better without ice cream
13:55it's basically poison
13:56well I basically need it right now
13:58no you don't
13:59I mean you really don't
14:01yes I do
14:02what you need is discipline Anne
14:04look at you you're skinny fat
14:06you need to cut the junk and add in some exercise
14:09the fuck
14:10look I'm not trying to be harsh here
14:12I think you're a really cool mom
14:14I just feel like you've been sending me signals
14:17like help me
14:19signals
14:20with your eyes
14:21I've always been able to identify the darkness in others
14:25I don't want to sound weird
14:27but you could say I'm like a second degree Wiccan
14:29you know I've always sensed the darkness in her myself
14:32shut up Lionel
14:33sorry
14:35um Alice
14:38what have I said about dumping your stuff around the house
14:40not to
14:42that's right
14:42because that's what homeless people do
14:45do you have a home
14:47a really nice home that your mom and dad provide for you
14:49yes
14:50well then
14:51go pick up your things and clean your room so you're less gross
14:55got it
14:56got it
14:58cool
14:59thanks
15:00she's great
15:03why don't
15:06she's great
15:07can you just
15:08hey
15:14another late night huh
15:19oh I had work to do
15:21have you eaten yet
15:23yeah
15:24I made us meatloaf
15:27oh that sounds good
15:28where is it
15:30well Jenny I ate it
15:33I was waiting but you were taking so long
15:37and yeah it was really good
15:39you ate an entire meatloaf
15:43don't do that
15:45what
15:46don't humiliate me
15:48it's bad enough that I gotta sit around here waiting for you cooking and cleaning
15:52are you clean
15:53are you clean
15:54yeah
15:55so is she asleep
15:56yeah I put her down
15:58at six
15:59that seems early
16:00look you can't just come in here at crazy hours and start criticizing me Jenny
16:04it's eight
16:05yeah well I have been working my ass off and I just I needed a little me time
16:11I totally get it
16:12thank you
16:13did you get some writing done
16:15yeah
16:16of course
16:17can I see it
16:18you're unbelievable
16:19I know what you're up to at work okay I'm not an idiot Jen
16:22okay this seems a little paranoid
16:25just
16:26just
16:27don't look at me
16:28you're giving me dragon eyes
16:30dragon eyes
16:31yes
16:32the dragon eyes
16:33it's something that I've introduced into my screenplay
16:35you'd know if you asked once in a while
16:37seriously
16:38Ian I just did
16:40Ian
16:41Ian
17:10mmm
17:11oh this is trouble
17:16something been puzzling
17:17everybody leave the room
17:20now go on I'm missing
17:23me and the bigger man
17:25time for you to talk some truth
17:27yeah you've got
17:29explaining to do
17:30explaining to do
17:31oh you've got
17:32explaining to do
17:33explaining to do
17:34yeah you've got
17:35explaining to do
17:36explaining to do
17:43explaining to do
17:44explaining to do
17:45oh you've got
17:47explaining to do
17:49explaining to do
17:52explaining to do
17:53and my eyes sind
17:55Hi, Mom.
18:10Kate.
18:12It's so clean in here.
18:14Well, I thought you might like to come home to that for a change.
18:18What's that I'm smelling?
18:19Can't you guess?
18:20She makes spaghetti?
18:23You just sounded like when you were a little girl.
18:25Oh, hot.
18:27Let me do that.
18:28Let me help you just slow down for once.
18:32Oh, you don't have to do all that.
18:35I like doing things for you.
18:41This is nice.
18:43Yeah.
18:45So, Charlie's down?
18:48Right on schedule.
18:51Nathan?
18:52Not home yet.
18:55Where's Ollie?
19:06Mom, where's Ollie?
19:08My dog?
19:09I put him out.
19:11Well, uh, what does that mean?
19:13He's outside now.
19:15He's not an outside dog.
19:17Kate, all dogs are outside dogs.
19:19He doesn't know that.
19:20Well, if I can't leave him in the garage and I can't tie him to a tree, where is that dog supposed to live?
19:26In my house, Mom.
19:28You tied him to a tree?
19:30I put a plushie blanket out for him.
19:36It was practically cashmere.
19:38Don't even.
19:39Get out of my way.
19:41Get out of my way.
19:42Yeah.
19:42Get out of my way.
19:43Get out of my way.
19:44Come on.
19:45Get out of my way.
19:46Get out of my way.
19:47Yeah.
19:47Get out of my way.
19:48Get out of my way.
19:49I'm a hustler.
19:52I'm a hustler.
19:55I'm a hustler.
19:57I'm a hustler.
20:00Yeah.
20:02Yeah.
20:02Yeah.
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