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00:00So I thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:02So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:05These simple lines be good for your health
00:07And keep them prime rhymes on the shelf
00:09Live my life like you just don't care
00:12Live with us and leave us never scared
00:14Rain and noise is the moment they fear
00:16Get up, sell a beer from my dead
00:18Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:21Get up, get up, get up
00:25Get up, get up, get up
00:29Make some room in the stable
00:35Kick the donkey off the couch
00:36And get ready to watch three unwise men
00:38It's Friday, we're live
00:39And it's time for the last leg
00:41Tonight on the show
00:44We ask what's up with the US president
00:46Get our heads around Christmas
00:48And get across some sporting heroes
00:51Plus we'll be joined by comedians
00:53Fatia El Ghorey and Roisin Conaty
00:56On the show that sometimes
00:58Doubles down on the news
01:00G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:11Hello
01:12Welcome to the last leg
01:15The show that's currently rethinking
01:16Some of the children's books
01:18At Port for Christmas
01:19With me as always
01:20Are the pride of Dartmoor Josh Whittacombe
01:22And the man who thought a doctor strike
01:23Was what you get when your GP
01:24Holds their Christmas party
01:25At a bowling alley, Alex Broca
01:27Now if you missed the show last week
01:37So did I
01:38I was hosting Stand Up To Cancer
01:41Josh and Alex were in charge of the show
01:43And there was a plan for me to make it here
01:46From Stand Up To Cancer
01:47For the very end of the show
01:49Yes, that was your plan
01:50Apparently so, yeah
01:51Somewhere during the plan it became apparent
01:53The only way I was going to make it to the studio
01:55Was on the back of a motorbike
01:56Yep
01:57I can't tell you how many things went wrong
01:59There were roadworks
02:00We hit every red light from Stratford to here
02:03This is why I left Devon
02:05For Devon
02:06I fucked that up already
02:08This is why I came back to host the show
02:12At one point
02:14We were stuck
02:15And I'm not making this up
02:1620 cyclists
02:1820
02:18In the road in Hackney
02:19Fuck's sake
02:20I employed 25
02:21So five of them had done one
02:22At one point the guy
02:25So I was on the back of a motorbike
02:26At one point the guy in the front of the motorbike said
02:28Because you have little headphones
02:29So you can talk to each other
02:30He said
02:30Hold on
02:31I'm going to try something
02:32Now the two places you never want to hear that
02:36Are on a bike
02:37And in bed
02:37Either way
02:40My arsehole clenched
02:41And in both cases
02:44What we did was borderline illegal
02:46And involved me wrapping my arms around someone I'd just met
02:49And I'd like to apologise to any bystanders
02:52And it was so
02:53I was so close to making it to air
02:55Oh I thought you were going to say
02:56I thought you said
02:56I was so close
02:57On the back of that bike
02:58We were close too
03:01Once it got changed
03:03I tried to get to the studio again
03:04I was so close to making it to air
03:07We had our social media guy Jordan
03:09Filming on a phone when I arrived
03:10In case we could use it for this week's show
03:11So I'm going to show you his footage
03:13Alongside what was genuinely going on air
03:16In the studio at the same time
03:17To show you just how close I came to making it
03:20We've just heard
03:22Hilsey isn't going to make it back
03:24But we've got one more surprise hands
03:27AJ and John
03:28Can you take the hands mascot costume
03:31Off to reveal our final winner behind you
03:34There we go
03:35It's Max Specialist Nurse
03:38There we go
03:39Oh my god
03:40Oh my god
03:41Oh my god
03:42I like it
03:43I like it
03:44I like it
03:45I like it
03:46I like it
03:46I like it
03:46I like it
03:47Our names are Josh Winnikam
03:49I'm Alex Booker
03:50We'll see you next week
03:52For the next league
03:53Woohoo
03:53I can be your hands baby
03:57I can hand away the peg
04:03Oh yeah
04:04I will hand by you forever
04:10You can take my hands away
04:16I can take my hands away
04:18That was good, isn't it?
04:19That was good, isn't it?
04:20Well...
04:22Can I just say you were running like your arse I would clenched?
04:40Can I just say you were running like your arse I would clenched?
04:49I was going because I thought my pizza had turned up.
04:53You had the look on your face of someone who knows he's just missed out on his appearance fee.
04:59We are live on your telly right now so you can send us any questions you want about the news.
05:04Messages on Instagram, the hashtags is it okay? WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908 or you can scan the QR code on your screen.
05:13For example, is it okay that Alex got a DM from his hero last week?
05:18Yes I did, DM you.
05:21Go on Brooks, what happened?
05:22Well so it was big news for me this week, so I did, Thierry Henry got a lifetime achievement award at the BBC Sports.
05:29Yes. Personality of the Year Awards and I did a video with...
05:32He played soccer for Arsenal, right?
05:34Yeah, football he played football.
05:36Yeah, he did.
05:38He was very good at it, mate.
05:40Yeah, okay.
05:41And yeah, so I did this video and then like on Wednesday morning he just started following me on Instagram and I have never...
05:49Have a look at this, so this is...
05:51Nine seconds after he followed me I screenshotted that.
05:55That is the farthest these little hands have ever moved.
05:58When you consider that you ejaculated and cleaned up between them.
06:01Aww.
06:03But I was so excited and he was very lovely.
06:06He sent me a message to say thank you, he sent me a DM to say thank you for the message.
06:11Yeah.
06:12And I was losing my shit and then I worried about, you know, what do I...
06:15What do I want, like what do I reply back because I don't want to seem too thirsty but at the same time all I want to say...
06:20You just recorded a video about how much you loved him.
06:23Well yeah, and I just wanted to reiterate what I said in the video but yeah, I sent him a message back and I was like, oh, he's not going to reply.
06:31But then...
06:32And then Thierry Henry responded to Alex's message while we were having a last leg meeting.
06:37And can I say, normally if I've got my phone out during the meeting he gets the hump.
06:41How do you know, how can you tell?
06:45The Aussie eyes mate.
06:47We recorded Alex's reaction to getting this response from Thierry Henry.
06:52Oh my god, he's typing.
06:54Oh, I feel sick.
06:56Oh.
06:57Hopefully I can see you soon.
07:01LAUGHTER
07:06LAUGHTER
07:09Can I just...
07:11That is...
07:13That is...
07:15Just saying, that's my version of the Kevin McAllister ad but I can't reach my...
07:21I can't reach my secret, my right.
07:23I'll do the half McAllister.
07:26Um, yeah.
07:27It was awesome.
07:28I can't wait till it's revealed that Thierry Henry's had his Instagram account hacked.
07:32LAUGHTER
07:34Alex just got another message saying, I've got some problems with my bank, can you chance for me £10,000 please?
07:40But like, how many people follow you that have a statue of themselves?
07:43Well, I am followed by Horatio Nelson.
07:46LAUGHTER
07:47And so have you replied to him saying, hopefully I can see you soon?
07:50Because like...
07:51No, because I don't want to seem...
07:52I know, what are you right?
07:53Like, I don't know, February 14th?
07:55LAUGHTER
07:56Do you have plans for Christmas?
07:58I wouldn't put it past you, did you write just Zootropolis 2?
08:01LAUGHTER
08:02I think the worst response to, hopefully we'll see each other soon, would be, I'm outside your house.
08:07LAUGHTER
08:08Well, the good thing is I found a motorbike rider who actually gets you there quite quickly.
08:12LAUGHTER
08:14I'll say he does.
08:15LAUGHTER
08:16We were so...
08:17We loved that little clip of Alex and his little excited face, so we've turned it into this
08:21week's hottest meme.
08:23Hopefully I can see you soon.
08:26I said, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, baby, turn the lights on.
08:33Now, the big story this week, Donald Trump is suing the BBC for $10 billion.
08:39LAUGHTER
08:40Now, you might remember that's because the BBC made an edit on an episode of Panorama.
08:43That is perfectly demonstrated in this clear before-and-after clip.
08:48We're gonna walk down to the Capitol, and I'll be there with you.
08:53And we fight.
08:55We fight like hell.
08:56And if you don't fight like hell, you're not gonna have a country anymore.
09:00We're gonna walk down to the Capitol...
09:03CHEERING
09:05..and we're gonna cheer on our brave senators and congressmen and women.
09:15And we fight.
09:17We fight like hell.
09:18And if you don't fight like hell, you're not gonna have a country anymore.
09:22So, basically, a simple edit.
09:24Yeah, it was probably a dumb thing to do.
09:25But according to Donald Trump, the BBC went about five steps further,
09:28as he revealed in this accusing clip.
09:30In a little while, you'll be saying I'm suing the BBC for putting words in my mouth,
09:35literally, to put words in my mouth.
09:37They had me saying things that I never said coming out.
09:40I guess they used AI or something.
09:42LAUGHTER
09:44Well, just think, just think, if we'd had AI,
09:47we could have made you arrive on Time Hills.
09:49LAUGHTER
09:51I mean, he didn't literally put words in his mouth.
09:54Like, I would have loved to have seen him literally put words in his mouth.
09:57I would have loved to have seen Nagamanchetti
09:59shove Scrabble letters in his gob.
10:01LAUGHTER
10:02Like he's stuck in a turkey.
10:03LAUGHTER
10:04And look, yes, it was a bad edit,
10:06but as far as using AI, that is an absolute pile of...
10:14Ah. Oh.
10:15What happened to my buttons?
10:16What's that?
10:17What happened to my buttons?
10:18That's what my kids are going to be saying when they see their selection boxes next week.
10:22LAUGHTER
10:23Yeah, so we may have...
10:24Yeah, we might have.
10:25We may have made a few changes to the buttons.
10:27We weren't here, so we made the buttons more proper-related.
10:29We kind of made things more... more...
10:31What did you do?
10:32You just used 90s tunes?
10:34Right.
10:35Well, yeah.
10:36LAUGHTER
10:39You got me!
10:40Nothing without my buttons.
10:42In fact, I kind of feel like I'm...
10:44LIING WITHOUT WAYS
10:48LAUGHTER
10:50Look, what I'm trying to say is they were set a certain way,
10:52I liked it the way they were set,
10:54and now that I'm back behind the desk...
10:55I WANT IT THAT WAY
10:59LAUGHTER
11:00Actually starting to like him.
11:01LAUGHTER
11:02All right, anyway...
11:03They're staying for next series, let's be honest.
11:05Back to Donald Trump.
11:06Why do...
11:07What do we think of him suing the BBC for $10 billion?
11:09Well, I mean, I'm looking forward to Panorama doing a Panorama
11:14on him suing them over Panorama.
11:16LAUGHTER
11:17I'm worried about the hike in the licence fee.
11:20LAUGHTER
11:21When we get the licence fee through and it's $1 million each.
11:24LAUGHTER
11:25I think the BBC...
11:26I don't think he's...
11:27Well, he's not going to win.
11:28No.
11:29I think the BBC have got a great defence,
11:30and that their big form of evidence that they didn't make him
11:34seem like a bad guy will be to show anything that he's ever said, ever.
11:39LAUGHTER
11:40And look, this is all part of Trump's pattern.
11:42One, sue a media company for a ridiculous amount of money.
11:45Two, force them to either spend loads of money defending it.
11:48Or three, wait till they offer up a settlement.
11:51Four, take the settlement, then know that they and every other media company
11:55is now too scared to say anything negative about you
11:57in case you sue them again.
11:59This sets a dangerous precedent.
12:01Because news outlets are supposed to keep governments to account.
12:03And they can't do that if they're scared of being sued
12:06by that government.
12:07That's the journalistic equivalent of...
12:09Lying with our wings.
12:14Shall I tell you the mad thing is,
12:15those buttons are being used more this week than what I did last week.
12:18LAUGHTER
12:19So how should the BBC deal with it?
12:21Oh, easy.
12:22Edit together,
12:23Donald Trump's speeches so it looks like he's saying
12:26I'm no longer suing the BBC.
12:28LAUGHTER
12:29I think because he's so...
12:30You know, he's so childish.
12:31Yeah.
12:32I think they should kind of...
12:33They should lure him in.
12:34Because he's going to be...
12:35They'll go, all right, and you win, you get 10 billion.
12:38But if we win, we get Disney and the White House.
12:43Richard Osman's White House of Games.
12:45It's a great show.
12:47LAUGHTER
12:48Well, Trump's claiming he's been defamed by the BBC,
12:50but you're right, there are a few things that are going to make it
12:51tough for him to win.
12:52One, the court case is being tried in Florida,
12:54but the programme didn't go to air in Florida, or anywhere in America.
12:58Which means Trump has to prove that people watched it illegally on a VPN
13:02and that it caused damage to his reputation.
13:05So right now, in Florida, there's a lot of guys trying to convince their wives
13:08they've been using their VPN to watch Panorama.
13:11LAUGHTER
13:12Slamming your laptop. It was an antiques roadshow!
13:15LAUGHTER
13:16But no-one's watching it in Florida.
13:18It's literally called the Sunshine State.
13:20No-one is staying indoors to watch Panorama.
13:23Like Will Smith, Miami.
13:24It wasn't putting in a city where the heat is on,
13:26or lying on the beach to the break it on,
13:28or downloading a VPN and watching Panorama.
13:30LAUGHTER
13:32Do you know Will Smith?
13:34Don't pretend that you're not loving those buttons now, Hilsie.
13:41You feel like a DJ.
13:43The BBC has vowed to defend itself,
13:45which is funny when you consider they couldn't even stop Channel 4
13:47from taking Bake Off.
13:48If the BBC...
13:50If the BBC win, though...
13:52You company man!
13:54You miss one episode, you start praising the bosses.
13:57If the BBC win, surely we get to take possession
14:00of some American assets.
14:01Yep.
14:02Maybe change Mount Rushmore to, I don't know,
14:04Joe Mahler, Alan Carr, Nick Muhammad and Celia Imri.
14:07LAUGHTER
14:08I think...
14:09I think we should ask for Ghostbusters Firehouse.
14:11Yep. Yep.
14:12And then that thing from Ghostbusters 2, the big...
14:15the Statue of Liberty.
14:17And...
14:18LAUGHTER
14:19Yeah, that's the one.
14:20LAUGHTER
14:21You know that prop they had in Ghostbusters 2?
14:23Yeah, yeah.
14:24LAUGHTER
14:25Yeah, that's the only thing it's known for.
14:27LAUGHTER
14:28Expensive old prop, that, wasn't it?
14:30LAUGHTER
14:32If Trump wins, then, does he take possession of the BBC
14:37and its assets?
14:38Because the last thing the world needs
14:39is Donald Trump in charge of an army of Daleks.
14:41Well, I tell you what,
14:42Greg Wallace will be back in the BBC before you know it.
14:44LAUGHTER
14:45LAUGHTER
14:46I...
14:47I think the BBC have got a way out, though.
14:50Because even if he does win...
14:51Mm.
14:52He's using...
14:53He can do what, like...
14:54They can do what all businesses do.
14:55Yeah.
14:56When they can't pay it back.
14:57They basically declare themselves bankrupt.
14:58And then they start again under a different name.
15:00Yeah.
15:01Call themselves British Broadcasting Limited.
15:03Yeah.
15:04The BBL.
15:05And I know what you're thinking.
15:06Ah!
15:07That's already taken by the cosmetic surgery Brazilian bum lift.
15:11Yeah.
15:12But no!
15:13I wasn't thinking that, to be honest, no!
15:14LAUGHTER
15:15Well, I think it could work for an ident.
15:17Have a look at this.
15:27Amazing. Amazing.
15:34To be fair, Brooker, you look good in that ident.
15:37LAUGHTER
15:38Look, it is a massive week for the US president.
15:40He refused to rule out a war with Venezuela.
15:43He's created something called the Patriot Games.
15:45LAUGHTER
15:46And he was shocked when the board he chose to run
15:48the Kennedy Centre changed its name
15:50to the Trump Kennedy Centre.
15:52How was he surprised by that?
15:55Even John F. Kennedy saw that one coming.
15:58LAUGHTER
15:59Trump then posted about the tragic death of director Rob Reiner
16:01in a way that ironically turned the distastefulness up to 11.
16:05Meanwhile, the Epstein files are currently being released
16:08on the same day that YouTuber Jake Paul goes head-to-head
16:11with professional boxer Anthony Joshua.
16:13So it's a good night if you want to see rich, entitled men
16:15suddenly having their careers ended.
16:17LAUGHTER
16:18Can I just thank you for not making a joke about
16:20the England cricket team there?
16:21Thank you very much.
16:22Oh, how would that have fitted in?
16:24Well, because their rich, entitled men
16:25are about to have their careers ended tonight.
16:27Oh, OK.
16:28Haven't been lying to cricket, how's it going?
16:30LAUGHTER
16:31About as well as the show went last week without you,
16:33thank you very much.
16:34LAUGHTER
16:35Now, I'm not saying Donald Trump is trying to distract
16:37from the Epstein files, but this week he made some changes
16:39to the presidential walk of fame in the White House
16:41that now looks like this.
16:43You...
16:44You know, like, when a restaurant has...
16:47It has photos of all the famous people.
16:49Yeah.
16:50I think further down there's a photo of Darren Day
16:52with his arm round the chef just saying,
16:54best tapas in Soho, Darren Day.
16:56LAUGHTER
16:57Now, you might remember a few months ago,
16:59Donald Trump replaced the photo of Joe Biden
17:01with this picture of an auto pen.
17:03This week he added plaques under each president's photo
17:06with his own opinion of their presidency.
17:09This is in the West Wing.
17:11For example, the plaque under Biden's photo now says,
17:14and this is a direct quote,
17:15Sleepy Joe Biden was by far the worst president
17:18in American history.
17:19Taking office as a result of the most corrupt election
17:21ever seen in the United States,
17:23Biden oversaw a series of unprecedented disasters
17:26that brought our nation to the brink of destruction.
17:28Trump's press secretary, Caroline Levitt,
17:31said the descriptions were mainly written directly
17:33by the president,
17:34to which the rest of the world said,
17:35no shit, Kaz.
17:37LAUGHTER
17:39I love the fact that, so, under Trump's own one...
17:42Yeah.
17:43..it's so long what he describes himself as.
17:45It's like one of his tweets,
17:46and at the bottom it kind of says,
17:47plaque one of two.
17:48LAUGHTER
17:49Apparently, when Trump was challenged
17:51over the wording on the plaques, he said...
17:53I want it that way...
17:57You get an internment, yeah.
17:58Yeah.
17:59Andy said,
18:00is it OK that the Trump administration says
18:01sign language services intrude on Trump's ability
18:04to control his image,
18:05and that raising this will get me banned from the USA?
18:07Yeah.
18:08So, disability groups were up in arms this week.
18:10Sorry, I'll rephrase that.
18:12Disability groups were hopping mad...
18:14No, no, that's not gonna...
18:15Ramping up their...
18:16No, no, absolutely furious.
18:18As the White House said,
18:19they would not be providing sign interpreters
18:21at Trump's press conferences
18:23because it would, quote,
18:24severely intrude on the president's prerogative
18:26to control the image he presents to the public.
18:29Now, I know one thing.
18:30I know this.
18:31It is very hard to sign interpret for Donald Trump.
18:33I know a lot of sign interpreters.
18:34I work with them a lot doing stand-up.
18:35Because Trump goes off on so many different tangents.
18:36He starts here, he goes over here,
18:37he goes over here,
18:38he never finishes a thought.
18:39So, as a sign interpreter,
18:40you're like,
18:41I don't know what sentence to sign right now.
18:43Also, that funny little dance he does,
18:44that could be interpreted as...
18:45Oh, yeah, that one.
18:46Yeah, that's something different.
18:47Yeah, that's something different.
18:48Yeah, I'm wanking off T.
18:49That is the emoji,
18:50Alex and Thierry Henry,
18:51but they got him blocked.
18:52Now, the other thing about Trump
18:53is he implies a lot when he speaks.
18:55He says stuff and the meaning is slightly hidden.
18:56But as a sign interpreter,
18:57you have to kind of get that meaning across.
18:58So, it's really, really interesting.
18:59It's really interesting.
19:00It's a funny little dance he does.
19:01It's a funny little dance he does.
19:02It's a funny little dance he does.
19:03It could be interpreted as...
19:04Oh, yeah, that one.
19:05Yeah, that one.
19:06Yeah, that's something different.
19:07Yeah, that's...
19:08I'm wanking off T.
19:09That is the emoji,
19:10Alex and Thierry Henry,
19:11but they got him blocked.
19:12They're slightly hidden.
19:13Yeah.
19:14But as a sign interpreter,
19:15you have to kind of get that meaning across.
19:16Yeah.
19:17So, it's really, really tricky anyway.
19:18And look, this week,
19:19Trump gave an address from the White House
19:20that was so shouty.
19:22It looked like he'd forgotten
19:23to turn his hearing aid on.
19:24Here's the annoying clip
19:25in which he puts the tan into tangent.
19:29In the end,
19:30government either serves the productive,
19:33patriotic, hardworking American citizen
19:35or it serves those who break the laws,
19:38cheat the system
19:39and seek power and profit
19:41at the expense of our nation.
19:45What in the living fuck are you talking about,
19:47you apricot arsehole?
19:50And stop shouting.
19:51You're on a microphone.
19:52Do you know what I mean?
19:53You had a case of apricot arsehole
19:54off my phone, didn't you?
19:56You're not talking to thousands of people in a stadium.
19:58You're on the telly.
19:59You're only talking to two or three people at home
20:01on the couch.
20:02You don't need to shout.
20:03Look, there's a reason I don't start this show
20:05by going,
20:06G'day, I'm Adam Hills!
20:07Welcome to The Last Leg!
20:10Well, that felt good.
20:12I genuinely, that's how we started it last week.
20:16Oh, I noticed.
20:19To give you an idea of how hard it is to interpret for Donald Trump,
20:22we're going to show you that clip again
20:24and we're going to have it interpreted for you.
20:26We're also going to show you what the interpreter is actually saying
20:28to see whether or not it interferes with Trump's image.
20:33In the end, government either serves the productive, patriotic, hardworking American citizen
20:39or it serves those who break the laws, cheat the system, and seek power and profit at the expense of our nation.
20:47Look at Minnesota, where Somalians have taken over the economics of the state
20:52and have stolen billions and billions of dollars from Minnesota
20:56and indeed from the United States of America.
20:59And we're going to put an end to it.
21:01For so long as, before my election, the vast majority of good and decent Americans were forced to...
21:08And can we please thank Gavin Lilly. Thank you, Gavin. Round of applause for Gavin.
21:24Alright, let's welcome tonight's guests, a comedian who co-hosts Last One Laughing
21:27and another comedian who was the last one standing on the TV show The Wheel.
21:30Please welcome Roisin Conaty and Fatia El Ghori.
21:38Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi. Welcome to you both.
21:51Either of you ever used a sign interpreter, Fatia?
21:54I've never used one, but I've been at a show where there's one.
21:57Yeah. So I just kept on going...
21:59And they had to go...
22:02I just kept on saying it after. I didn't even do punchlines.
22:05I just went, anyway, my name is...
22:09And what do you both make of Trump suing the BBC? Fatia?
22:12I think...
22:14Well, they fucked up, innit? Yeah.
22:16But he's a wanker, innit?
22:18But I've got an idea. I know how to make their money back.
22:21Yeah. If they just commission my sitcom...
22:25LAUGHTER
22:27It doesn't make the money, innit?
22:29OK, love it. Roisin?
22:31LAUGHTER
22:32I think Trump respects hard men.
22:36That's the only way.
22:37So I think they shouldn't try...
22:38I think they should tell him to fuck off.
22:40LAUGHTER
22:41Oh, yeah.
22:42I think they should go absolutely ape on him
22:44and just tell him to fuck off.
22:45And then he'll be like, I love the BBC.
22:48Yeah, that's who he likes.
22:49See, that's who he wants to be friends with.
22:50So I think they should tell him to do one.
22:52Which BBC star should we get to do it?
22:54Um...
22:56Ross Kemp?
22:57No.
22:58Is he on BBC anymore?
22:59Oh, I don't know.
23:00Have you not...
23:01Have you not watched Bridge of Lies?
23:03LAUGHTER
23:05Um...
23:06One of the Strictly Lotta record.
23:08Ooh, nice.
23:09Yeah, okay.
23:10Craig Revel Horwood!
23:11Ah, Craig Revel Horwood!
23:13Now, um...
23:15Earlier this week, I was asked to read a poem
23:17at a Carol's concert for Monon Neurone Disease.
23:20It was a lovely night.
23:21It was a really lovely night.
23:22And they sent me a really nice poem,
23:24a kind of funny poem,
23:25about the difference between Christmas in England
23:26and Christmas in Australia,
23:27uh, for me to read at the concert.
23:29But...
23:30And it was all about, you know,
23:31Christmas on the beach and that kind of stuff,
23:33but in light of what happened at Bondi Beach last weekend,
23:35it felt a little weird to do that.
23:37So I ended up rewriting the poem
23:39as a tribute to what happened in Sydney,
23:40which is where I grew up.
23:41It's my hometown.
23:42Um...
23:43And if it's okay with you,
23:44I thought I'd read that poem tonight.
23:46So, this is my little, um,
23:48little Christmassy tribute-y poem.
23:51Christmas in Britain is charming and cold,
23:55with jumpers and jingles and carols of old.
23:58But I'm Aussie by nature,
23:59so let's just be clear.
24:00Barbecues count.
24:02So does icy cold beer.
24:03I've done Christmas Down Under with sun cream and sand,
24:06and Christmas in Britain with frostbite on hand.
24:08One has cicadas, the other has sleet,
24:11but both have bad telly and too much to eat.
24:13Sydney is sunny, London is wetter,
24:16and the less said about the ashes, the better.
24:19But Brits and the Aussies will always be mates,
24:21as we both thank the Lord we don't live in the States.
24:25But evil rears up every now and again,
24:28as some don't believe in goodwill to all men,
24:30and use a nice holiday fest by the beach
24:32to make a world full of joy seem way out of reach.
24:35But look for the helpers, a wise man once said.
24:38The people who think with their hearts and their head.
24:41The people who do what they know to be right.
24:43Look for the love.
24:44Look for the light.
24:45Because all around the world people showed their support,
24:48from New York to Paris, right down to Earl's Court.
24:51Whatever religion, we all made a fuss,
24:53saying there were just two of them.
24:55There are millions of us.
24:57Whether Muslim or Christian, Hindu or Jew,
25:00deep down we all know what's the right thing to do.
25:02So no matter what happens this time of the year,
25:04bring your loved ones around and gather them near.
25:07If you're a Brit or an Aussie or half in between,
25:09may your paddock be golden, your tree evergreen.
25:12May your Christmassy lunch have no family clashes.
25:15But I'll say it again, don't mention the ashes.
25:18Whether Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas or none,
25:22happy holidays all, and I hope you have fun.
25:25And remember the words of good old Saint Nick,
25:28Merry Christmas to all, and don't be a dick.
25:32We'll have all our sleep for you after the break.
25:36We'll take a wobbly step into Christmas.
25:38We'll see you in a little bit.
25:40I'm going to apologize.
25:44Welcome back to Last Leg.
25:46Welcome back to Last Leg.
25:47We're joined by Thaddea Elgari and Rosh and Conaty.
25:48Wollum said the person from the BBC to tell Donald Trump to fuck off should be David Attenborough.
26:06Ooh, yes.
26:08I love that we've accidentally created a great text in.
26:12Text in with who should tell Donald Trump to fuck off.
26:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:16Hit us up on WhatsApp.
26:17Tell us who you think should tell...
26:18Why are you limiting...
26:20I can't say limiting.
26:21Why are you limiting it to one?
26:23BBC's got a huge employee base.
26:25Yeah, a whole just...
26:26Oh, my God.
26:27They can do it.
26:28I think the whole country should get involved.
26:30Well, all at once at midnight on New Year's Eve.
26:34All at once at midnight on New Year's Eve.
26:36Everyone tells Donald Trump to fuck off.
26:39Two, one, fuck off!
26:42All right, look, it's only six more sleeps until Christmas,
26:45five more sleeps until our Christmas Eve special
26:47and three more sleeps until Thierry Henry unfollows Alex on Instagram.
26:53Why is he going to unfollow him?
26:55Oh, he'll watch something that Brooker posts and goes,
26:58no, I can't be associated with that.
27:04Brooker's already upset because I made a joke about us,
27:07and we did do very well last week,
27:08I made a joke that we didn't do very well.
27:10I told you to be proud of yourself.
27:12Let's get into the festive spirit.
27:15Let's start with Christmas traditions.
27:17Do you guys have any Christmas traditions?
27:19We...
27:20So, I don't celebrate, obviously.
27:21Obviously.
27:23But we do, obviously, like, everyone's off,
27:25so we all get at my mum's and then we have, like,
27:28we make a dinner and then, like, yeah, have fun.
27:31Yeah.
27:32We don't do presents or trees or none of that luck,
27:34but we do do the food.
27:36Interesting, OK.
27:37Spending time with family.
27:38Yeah.
27:39The worst bit.
27:40LAUGHTER
27:45There are people behind me applauding what you just said.
27:48LAUGHTER
27:49Just so you know, you may be on camera.
27:51LAUGHTER
27:52Roisin?
27:53Oh, I've got traditions, Adam.
27:55I've got blooming traditions, all right.
27:58My traditions are I come from a very big family
28:00and I've got lots of friends.
28:02I'm very popular.
28:03LAUGHTER
28:04And lots of them show up unannounced.
28:06And by unannounced, I mean, I forget they're showing up.
28:08Yep.
28:09And so a lot, my Christmas tradition is people showing up,
28:12me pretending I need the loo, I need to make something,
28:14and then I'm going rummaging and wrapping in another room
28:18and re-gifting something I've already got,
28:20but trying to find something really quick in a short space of time.
28:23Right.
28:24And I once, someone brought me, like, you know,
28:27a rubbish £10 sort of body cream
28:30and the only thing I had was a record player
28:32because I'd given away everything in previous gifts,
28:35rummage and wrapping, and so I gave them a record player.
28:38Then I had to re-buy for myself
28:39because a friend who bought me the wrapping player
28:40was coming round record player in a few days.
28:43LAUGHTER
28:44Happy Christmas!
28:45LAUGHTER
28:46In big Christmas news, something that made Alex very happy,
28:49I watched Home Alone for the first time last week.
28:52LAUGHTER
28:53I've shocked you all.
28:55Ironically, I was home alone.
28:56LAUGHTER
28:57Which means I now understand this that happened on the show,
29:00and this...
29:02LAUGHTER
29:04Still don't entirely understand this.
29:06LAUGHTER
29:08I think it's... I genuinely...
29:10I couldn't believe that you hadn't seen it,
29:11but I think it's lovely that you've watched it now.
29:14Yeah.
29:15So, like, when I watched it for the first time,
29:17I was the same age as Kevin McAllister,
29:19and now you've watched it for the first time
29:21and you're the same age as the old Geezy with the shovel.
29:23LAUGHTER
29:25LAUGHTER
29:26I think part of the reason I didn't see it when it was released,
29:28I was 20 at the time,
29:29and I was in that age where it's weird for a 20-year-old
29:32to go and watch a kid's movie on his own.
29:34LAUGHTER
29:35But you had a bit of an issue.
29:38Yeah, I mean, when I saw...
29:39Well, I saw...
29:40When I saw Elle for the first time, I was, like, 19,
29:42and I went, like, three times.
29:43And I'm not weird.
29:44Um...
29:45LAUGHTER
29:46But, yeah, there was a bit...
29:47So, this week...
29:48So, this is one of the few things
29:49that I've ever been able to talk about on the show
29:51that's been sent to me on one of my WhatsApp groups
29:53of my mates.
29:54Yeah.
29:55So, my mate, Humsey, sent me this thing.
29:56Basically, it was a TV choice.
29:58So, this was their reviews of the Christmas films.
30:00Mm.
30:01Babe...
30:02Can I just ask a great question?
30:03Your mate reads TV choice?
30:04He just sent it.
30:05Is it an 80-year-old grant?
30:07LAUGHTER
30:08So, he sent it.
30:09Babe, five stars.
30:10Right?
30:11Yep.
30:12Home Alone, four stars.
30:14Now, unless that reviewer is David Cameron,
30:17that is bullshit.
30:18LAUGHTER
30:19I...
30:20I think Babe...
30:21I think Babe is a five-star film,
30:23and I think it's better than Home Alone.
30:25WHISTLE BLOWS
30:27Fuck you.
30:28I don't think that.
30:29I just wanted to see what Brooklyn would do.
30:31LAUGHTER
30:32I'm going to say Five Star Babe
30:33sounds like a film I did watch when I was...
30:35LAUGHTER
30:36LAUGHTER
30:37LAUGHTER
30:38Oh, there we go.
30:40APPLAUSE
30:42Oh, in other Christmas news, a poll was revealed this week
30:47that nearly a third of the British public thinks Santa
30:50would vote for Zach Polanski and the Green Party,
30:53which is surprising considering how much coal Santa goes through.
30:56What do you think on that?
30:57Also, yeah, he's going down chimneys.
30:59Mm.
31:00It's one of the main reasons we've got chimneys.
31:01I don't think we should...
31:02I don't think...
31:03I think this is madness.
31:04Yeah.
31:05He's based in the North Pole.
31:06Yep.
31:07If he's not going to pay taxes in this country,
31:09he doesn't have a fucking say.
31:10LAUGHTER
31:12I think so.
31:13Yeah.
31:14Because he's got a zero-carbon footprint.
31:16Yeah.
31:17However, the RSPCA are not going to like him
31:20because he works those animals to the bone.
31:22Yeah.
31:2324 hours, he goes round the whole world,
31:25are you mad, bruv?
31:26LAUGHTER
31:27You know what I'm saying?
31:28No.
31:29Uh, Roisin?
31:30I don't...
31:31I think people project onto...
31:32When we like people, we project onto them the values we have.
31:35Yeah.
31:36Yeah.
31:37But what we've all learnt about, you know, old celebrities is...
31:41And he's...
31:42You know, he's an old guy.
31:43He's been around for hundreds of years.
31:44You don't want to...
31:45I reckon if you had a Wikipedia page, it's not going to be great.
31:48LAUGHTER
31:49So, you just don't...
31:50Yeah.
31:51I don't think you can project very progressive views on that...
31:54that old creeping-in-the-house-at-nights-in-the-kids-room guy.
31:58LAUGHTER
31:59That's very optimistic gear you've got going on there.
32:02LAUGHTER
32:03I don't think it makes sense that Santa would vote green,
32:04because if anyone's worried about the ice caps melting, it's him.
32:06And also, much like Zach Polanski,
32:08a lot of grown-ups don't believe in him.
32:10LAUGHTER
32:11Christmas also means it's time for the darts at Ali Pali.
32:14Oh.
32:15Both of which have red-faced men with big bellies.
32:17But this year, there's been an unwanted guest.
32:19Oh, mate.
32:20It's just been...
32:21It's been a week of high drama already at the darts.
32:23Yeah.
32:24But the Ali Pali wasp...
32:26Yeah.
32:27I don't know if you've heard about this.
32:28It's basically a wasp that's been knocking about
32:30in Alexandria Palace during the darts this week
32:33for four days, five days, breathing in all the beer fumes,
32:36absolutely off its nut.
32:38LAUGHTER
32:39Just upsetting everyone.
32:40It's genuinely one of the darts players actually brought
32:42Wasp Killer.
32:43Just in case...
32:44It was like pissing off all the darts players.
32:46Yes.
32:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:48And now, look, we wanted...
32:49We couldn't afford the footage of the wasp from Sky Sports
32:51because it's sports footage and that costs loads, all right?
32:53We wanted to show you, so we've mocked up our own version
32:56of the wasp in action.
32:59Here it is in happier times.
33:06What?
33:07What?
33:08What?
33:09What?
33:10What was that?
33:11What for?
33:12Keep it down mate!
33:13Get out!
33:14Whoa!
33:15Thanks.
33:16Oh no!
33:17Get out of here!
33:18I'm right in here!
33:19I'm right in here!
33:20You washed!
33:21Jesus cross, we're going to sting someone in a minute.
33:23That was not on.
33:24Yes!
33:25Yeah!
33:26You know what?
33:27That looked so much better than I thought it was going to look.
33:31Wow!
33:32We'll have more last night for you after the break as we hand out our alternative sports
33:37personality of the year awards.
33:38We'll also unveil another mystery guest.
33:39We'll see you in a little bit.
33:40We'll also come back.
33:41We're welcome back to the last night.
33:42We're joined by a Fadia Algori and Roisin Conaty.
33:47Welcome back to Last Lake.
33:58We're joined by Fatia El-Ghori and Roisin Conaty.
34:01Last night, the BBC crowned Rory McIlroy
34:03as their Sports Personality of the Year of 2025.
34:07Congratulations.
34:08Although, personally, I thought Rory McIlroy deserved it
34:10for this candid moment at the Ryder Cup this year.
34:13That focus on the T-sting.
34:15Guys, shut the fuck up.
34:16Oh, fuck.
34:17Oh, my God.
34:19Oh, my God.
34:23And, look, it's all well and good to celebrate Sporting Excellence,
34:26but what about the forgotten heroes?
34:28Like, the guy who took this incredibly timed photo
34:30of Italian tennis player Jasmine Paolini at the US Open this year
34:33that was judged Tennis Photo of the Year.
34:38So, the guy from Kneecap.
34:40LAUGHTER
34:41We thought we'd highlight some more heroes now with this.
34:55So, I'm going to start by nominating two Australian twins
34:59who lip-sync on social media to iconic pieces of sporting commentary.
35:03This was their hilarious take on the moment Scotland qualified
35:06for the World Cup this year.
35:08There's McLean.
35:10He's going to shoot.
35:12He's not a...
35:12He's not...
35:13He's not a...
35:13He's not a...
35:13He's not a...
35:14He's not a...
35:15He's not a...
35:15He's not a...
35:16He's not a...
35:16He's not a...
35:17He's unbelievable.
35:18He's unbelievable.
35:19I have never seen anything quite as incredible
35:25The match is Kenny McLean!
35:29With practically the last kick of the ball
35:32to absolutely rubber-stop Scotland's place
35:35at the 1-0 Cup!
35:41I'm going to say it right now,
35:44we have too much time on our hands in Australia.
35:46Josh?
35:48Let me highlight a sport we don't talk about enough.
35:51Yep.
35:52In July, 33 teams, from countries including the UK,
35:56Japan, Australia and France,
35:58competed in the litter-picking World Cup.
36:01Wow.
36:02There's something we could be good at.
36:04Team Smile Story from Japan won.
36:06You could say they cleaned up.
36:09Ha-ha!
36:10No?
36:15Let's have a look at it, Adam.
36:17Let's have a look at it.
36:19So here we go.
36:22Look at this!
36:23This is sport now!
36:24And then there's the British team.
36:26There's the Japanese team.
36:29Look, if we can't clear the darts, B,
36:32this is what Channel 4 need to be showing now!
36:35So I'd like to nominate the British team.
36:38OK, Feria, who would you nominate?
36:40So I would nominate Mo Salah.
36:42Yeah.
36:43Not for the reason you think, right?
36:44Basically, every Christmas, he has like a massive Christmas tree
36:47and him and his family wear Christmas pyjamas
36:50and they take a picture with gifts and all that
36:52and he just gets shot to shit by, like, the Muslim community being like,
36:56what are you doing?
36:57You're a Muslim, it's Christmas.
36:59And he's like, yeah, whatever, bruv, shut up.
37:01And I love it.
37:02I just think he's a legend.
37:03OK.
37:04He's a legend for doing that.
37:05Raj?
37:06Well, I've got one.
37:07I don't know if it'll be allowed, but then I saw the litter picking
37:10and I thought, it's going in.
37:12I think Oasis, because I feel like them getting back together
37:17felt like a bit like, and the tour was a little bit like
37:21watching Rocky get off the mat, like, you know, like,
37:24it felt like, and then it got to the end and they won.
37:26I thought, Oasis.
37:27It was a sporting achievement.
37:28Yeah.
37:29Lovely.
37:30And it was that feeling of, like, when England are in the
37:33World Cup or something.
37:34Yeah.
37:35What was that feeling when you went to Oasis?
37:36Although it ended happily.
37:38LAUGHTER
37:39Uh, Brooks?
37:40Yeah, well, this is bittersweet for me, because mine was
37:43going to be the Ali Pali Wasp.
37:45Yeah.
37:46But then we found out today that...
37:48He's dead.
37:49..may have been killed yesterday by one of the darts players.
37:52Oh, gosh.
37:53It's sad moments.
37:54So, I just, er...
37:56If it's possible, can I just have a little moment of reflection
38:00for what the Ali Pali Wasp has done this week?
38:02Sure.
38:03Thank you very much.
38:04Goodbye.
38:05Goodbye.
38:06Goodbye.
38:07Goodbye.
38:08You said you're gonna make it still feel you're here.
38:11It's not the end.
38:14You can't give us goodbye.
38:16Oh!
38:17Oh!
38:18Mystery Addison Addison.
38:20Right, it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest.
38:25Roisin and Fatia have to work out how they're related to the news.
38:28Can we have this week's mystery guest, please?
38:30Oh!
38:31Oh!
38:32Oh!
38:33Oh!
38:34Oh!
38:35Oh!
38:36Oh!
38:37Oh!
38:38Oh!
38:39Oh!
38:40Oh!
38:41Oh!
38:42Oh!
38:43Oh!
38:44Oh!
38:45Oh!
38:46Oh!
38:47Oh!
38:48Oh!
38:49Oh!
38:50Oh!
38:51Oh!
38:52Oh!
38:53Oh!
38:54Oh!
38:55Oh!
38:56Oh!
38:58Oh!
38:59Oh!
39:00Oh!
39:01Oh, God!
39:02I know.
39:03What are your thoughts?
39:04Angie!
39:05I don't know.
39:06I think the answer to that question is intrusive.
39:10Oh God! I know. What are your thoughts?
39:15ANGIE!
39:21I think the answer to that question is intrusive.
39:29Can we get our agent to death please?
39:32I tell you what, have a think about it, mull it over, sing Angie to yourself for a little while.
39:38We'll reveal a mystery guest after the break and we'll end the show with a very special Christmas performance.
39:44And we'll see you in a bit.
40:00Welcome back to The Last Leg, we're joined by Fatia El Ghori and Roisin Conaty.
40:04Now before the break we challenged our guest to work out how this person is connected to the news.
40:08Can we have the options again please?
40:11So, does Angie have a reindeer that thinks it's a dog?
40:16Did Angie buy a pig in blanket that looks exactly like Lana Del Rey?
40:20Or did Angie buy a turkey from the butcher that was delivered alive?
40:26What do you guys think?
40:28I think, I think I know this, so I'm gonna let Roisin sweat it.
40:34All I've got is that song, okay, I think, erm, I think you've got a sausage that looked like Lana Del Rey.
40:48Does that line up with what you were thinking Fatia?
40:50No.
40:51Oh no.
40:52What were you thinking?
40:53I'm excited though, because if it is, when we say bring out the pig in blanket that looks like Lana Del Rey, that's when we get the BAFTA.
40:59What do you think?
41:02I think it's the deer, because I remember seeing a clip, because I watch TV a lot, because that's who I am, and I think it's the deer.
41:10All right, do you want to...?
41:11She looks like she don't take shit, man.
41:14Do you want to go deer and Roisin, do you want to go sausage?
41:18I always want to go sausage.
41:20All right, Angie.
41:22That's the sign.
41:24Happy Christmas!
41:25Happy Christmas!
41:26Happy Christmas!
41:27Can we get that made into a GIF as well, please? Roll with that.
41:30Angie, er, so you've got one H. Angie, can you please tell us how you're connected to the news?
41:37I've got a beautiful baby reindeer called Lars, who's grown up his dog.
41:42Hey!
41:43So, I suppose the question is, why did your reindeer think it's a dog?
41:55When he was only two or three days old, he needed help being fed, so he came into the house, and he's basically lived with the dogs and myself since.
42:05Oh!
42:06And you can see pictures of him.
42:08So, when people come to your house, they...
42:09Which one's a reindeer?
42:10When people come to your house, they sing, Angie, Angie, is it a dog, is it a deer?
42:20Is it going to get the antlers soon?
42:22It's got little antlers this size, and then they'll fall off in the next few months, and then they'll go a new set.
42:28Oh, a bit like me, but not quite.
42:31Angie, thank you so much, have a happy Christmas.
42:33Happy Christmas!
42:34Thank you, Angie.
42:35All the best to your dear.
42:36Oh, right.
42:39What's this, er...
42:42What kind of post...
42:43What kind of guests are we...
42:45Why aren't we getting an antlers?
42:46I don't know why they were given to us, you're more than welcome.
42:47I'll tell you why it is inclusion.
42:49They felt jealous because of me.
42:52They were like, I'll let us have some headgear, innit?
42:54Yeah, I'm just out here better than yours, you look shit!
42:56I'm just out here.
42:58Bareback in my head.
42:59Hold on.
43:00All right, Josh has been defaming the last seven days, what have you got?
43:03First up, we got a message from Simon Adam, and he said...
43:08Stratford to White City is 35 minutes on the Central Line.
43:13And somebody would have given up their seat for you.
43:15And the other is a behind-the-scenes.
43:19Yeah.
43:20There was a bit that was meant to be in the show where me and Brooke
43:21are dressed up as a pantomime horse and did dressage.
43:23In tonight's show?
43:24In tonight's show.
43:25Yeah.
43:26We did it in rehearsal.
43:27It wasn't good enough in rehearsal.
43:28Yeah.
43:30And it was deemed so bad it couldn't go on TV.
43:32Bearing in mind what makes it in.
43:35But they did film it and now they're telling us we should show the audience
43:38what our rehearsal was.
43:39OK.
43:40Would you like to see us trying to do pantomime horse dressage?
43:42Yes.
43:43Is it as good as the wasp?
43:45Well, there you'd be the judge.
43:47That was like AI.
43:49We're in the zone now.
43:50Yeah, we're not talking to you, we're in the zone.
43:52I like it.
43:58What?
44:00What is going on?
44:06Move a go round here.
44:07Yeah.
44:09Oh, my good lord.
44:12Looks like a Pixar version of Human Centipede.
44:16It looks like a Pixar version of Human Centipede.
44:26Alright, we are about to end the show with a very special performance
44:28from the Music Man Project, which is a choir made up of people
44:31with learning disabilities who've performed at the London Palladium,
44:33the Royal Albert Hall, and for His Majesty the King.
44:36They also gave a spectacular concert in Rome last week.
44:39David, who is the leader of the choir,
44:41what's next for the Music Man Project?
44:43Well, Adam, I've got a world exclusive for everyone here,
44:46because on October the 7th, next year,
44:49the Music Man Project will play Broadway in New York!
45:01We are so happy to have you close the show for us tonight,
45:03but before we do, would you please thank our guest,
45:05Fatia Elgari and Orochyn Conaty,
45:08and my co-host Josh Whittacombe and Alex Brooker!
45:15We'll be back on Christmas Eve with comedian Harry Hill
45:18and presenter Alison Hammond,
45:19and we'll have a Christmas sing-along with Rick Astley,
45:21but right now, this is the Music Man Project,
45:23performing Jingle Bells.
45:25Thanks for watching The Last League.
45:26My name's Adam Hills.
45:27See you next week for The Last League of Christmas.
45:28APPLAUSE
45:29MUSIC PLAYS
45:33FASHING INTO THE SNOW
45:35FASHING INTO THE SNOW
45:36FOR ONE HORSE OF THE SPACE
45:38OR THE FILLS BEGUN
45:40NOTHING ALL AWAY!
45:42HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
45:43THAT'S A BOLTERY
45:45MAKING SPIRIT BRIGHT
45:47FOR PART IT IS TO RIDE
45:49AND SEE THE STAY IS SOUNDS
45:51TONIGHT!
45:52OH!
45:53A PART IT IS TO RIDE
46:06AND SEE THE STAY IS SOUNDS
46:12AND SEE THE STAY IS SOUNDS
46:17FASHING INTO THE SNOW
46:18AND SEE THE STAY IS SOUNDS
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