00:00It took me four years to put this song out.
00:01I didn't want to be in a position where I appeared to be weak.
00:05Then you grow up a little bit and you realise that to show vulnerability and weakness is
00:11actually a pretty strong thing to do.
00:20This song is about a really dark time in my life.
00:23This song is about losing someone.
00:25My personal experience hurt me a lot, but I didn't want to be specific.
00:29I wanted to write it from a place where when someone implements it into their own life,
00:36it can mean something different to me, to you, to you, to you, to you, to you.
00:59I really said to myself as a songwriter, what do I feel?
01:07And I wrote it down.
01:08It doesn't rhyme.
01:09You know what I mean?
01:10That line is such a strange lyric because I start a song where I just say exactly what
01:14I mean.
01:15If you truly look somebody in the eye and they are going through something, our biggest
01:19instinct as human beings is to hide.
01:22We do not want to be seen because it forces us to face ourselves.
01:26It forces us to comprehend the situation.
01:28To fix my mind, I need time.
01:35But it's running out, it's running out.
01:42I remember putting the acoustic down.
01:45The vocal I cut, it was a combination of two takes because it was real, man.
01:49To fix my mind, I need time, but it's running out.
01:52If you are traumatized in any way, if you are mentally, physically abused or go through losing
01:58someone and you don't address it, it will turn into something else and it will turn into
02:02a trigger of anger or it will turn into a thing you block out.
02:08And I knew that I had to process this or it's going to come out in an argument with my girlfriend
02:13that I don't yet have or my son that I don't yet have.
02:16It will be a disguised emotion that I didn't address and I didn't almost, it'd be a kink
02:20that I didn't iron out.
02:22It's would you love me at my worst?
02:46Would you love me if I'm ugly?
02:48If I'm dying?
02:49Showing the darkest parts of yourself is the most beautiful thing about a human being.
02:54But it really stemmed from losing my grandmother and watching this beautiful woman deteriorate
03:00and feel like she couldn't show us and she couldn't ask for help.
03:05I think the scariest thing in the world for us is to feel like we are ugly or not good enough.
03:10If we could catch a spaceship to the moon, but we'd crash, it wouldn't last, because the world
03:24is just a figment of the fools, a blank stare, they don't care.
03:34This is relating to the idea of life and that the world will always win.
03:41The ocean will always be stronger than you.
03:43Rain gives you life, but it also gives you death.
03:45You can't cheat life, it's always gonna beat you.
03:49It has done since the dawn of humanity, so you've got to be present within it.
03:54So say your prayers, you're almost there, it means multiple things like have you arrived
04:12at that realization yet?
04:14Is it too late or it also means like I'm watching my grandmother on a last day kind of thing.
04:24I know that I can't live without you, but this world keeps turning if you do.
04:32Would you even want me looking like a zombie?
04:38Would you even want me, want me, want me?
04:45Would you even want me looking like a zombie?
04:50Would you even want me, want me, want me?
05:17That is me saying that the people who have been in my life, who I've lost, who I've met
05:22and maybe never reconnected with, will always have an imprint on me.
05:27I don't know what I'm gonna be tomorrow.
05:29Our relationship, the fact that I have met you, will shape who I am.
05:33And every person we meet, we love, we connect with, if that's for 30 years, if that's for 80 years,
05:40if that's for two hours, we are all made up of this connection to each other.
05:46That's what makes it go around.
05:48That's why the world is so dark right now because no one looks at another human being across from them.
05:53We don't realize that we all have a heartbeat and we all drink and piss and cry.
06:01We get so lost in what we haven't achieved or what we want to do that we actually forget that
06:09you walk out your door in the morning.
06:10The breath you just took, somebody else would give everything they had to take that,
06:15but they just can't.
06:16You are not gonna beat the world, you never will.
06:18So be present and be grateful.
06:20Go outside and put your fucking feet in the grass.
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