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Reality Realm US

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Transcript
00:00Let's go!
00:30I hope you're gonna get out soon
00:33I never think you're gonna get out soon
00:40Good job!
00:41Give you a hand
00:43A golden star
00:45You think you're clever
00:47Good luck
00:49She took a break
00:51Made a mistake
00:53When she met driver
00:55Get us forever
00:59Get us forever
01:01Get us forever
01:05You think I'm pretty
01:09You think I'm pretty
01:11Who make you wanna fucking
01:13Close it off, want to back it on the ice for faster and faster
01:15I'll do the money
01:17I'm having a lot of games
01:18I'm having a lot of games
01:19I'm having a lot of games
01:21I hope we're gonna get out soon
01:23I will look
01:25Gonna get out soon
01:27Oh man, I hope you're gonna get out soon
01:29Gonna get out soon
01:31I really hope you're gonna get out soon
01:35I know you're up at night
01:39Hunched over your phone like
01:41A tree
01:43A tree
01:45A darkly hill
01:47It's crooked from the wind that bites
01:49You say
01:51You're lost to seek
01:53All the power and the light
01:55You're washed up irrelevant
01:59I'm standing in my light
02:01I'm standing in my light
02:03I'm standing in my light
02:05I'm standing in in my light
02:07I'm stoop
02:09You said
02:11I'm PI-
02:13You think I'm pretty
02:15You think I'm pretty
02:17You think I'm pretty
02:19You think I'm pretty cool
02:21You say I scare you
02:23Most people do
02:25The real world, honey, let me go.
02:28In spite of everything, I guess there's just no hidden door.
02:32Nice try, now get out of the way.
02:36Good job, just take a fucking breath.
02:39I said I'll see ya, you wanna be ya, you wanna be ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya.
02:47Nice try, now get out of the way.
02:50You're in our way.
02:52Get lost forever.
02:55Hey, if Rosanoff fucks you tonight, I'm gonna fucking back.
03:08I think you mean fucks with, buddy.
03:11I fucking mean what I mean.
03:13You're burning a fake Rosanoff oxide right now.
03:15The fuck does that mean?
03:16They do it to you all the time in Boston, you wanna see it?
03:18Uh, no thanks.
03:20Honestly guys, it doesn't help me focus.
03:22Yeah, Mitty, they'll be weird somewhere else.
03:24Not even that much.
03:26Whatever you need, Captain.
03:28Hey, Hollander.
03:29Can you talk to NBC and some radio outlets in like time?
03:31Yeah.
03:35Oh, Mr. Hollander, what does Montreal have to do to win tonight?
03:39Well, hockey is a complicated and nuanced game.
03:42But it would be helpful if we scored more fucking goals than the other team.
03:46And how about that other team?
03:48Ilya Rosanoff has been on a tear lately.
03:50He had a hat-trick last week and he's almost caught up to you in the scoring race.
03:53Wanna know what he had to say about that this morning?
03:55Nah, I'll listen if he actually catches up to me.
03:57Thanks guys.
05:31Wow, this Montreal girl works real, brother.
05:34Shut your idiot face, Marley.
05:36You're straight up blushing, Ross.
05:38Well, no.
05:39Never in life have I blushed.
05:40Russians do not do this.
05:41You will murder me.
05:58Maybe.
06:00Get in.
06:05Why the fuck did you think it was okay to sex me before the game?
06:08What the fuck?
06:09You were hard, weren't you?
06:11For how long?
06:12The whole game.
06:13You're such a fucking ass.
06:15You missed me, didn't you?
06:17I fucking did it.
06:19And I still beat your ass.
06:20Oh, barely.
06:27Wow, nice place.
06:29Thanks.
06:30I bought it a couple years ago, but then this year I bought another one right next door.
06:37I eventually might turn it into one place, but for now I'm renting the next door one out.
06:41Mr. Businessman.
06:44Shut up.
06:44Mr. Landlord.
06:47You asked.
06:48No, I didn't.
06:49So what do you want me?
07:04In the kitchen, on the floor?
07:07Fuck you.
07:12Did your mom buy all these pillows?
07:14No.
07:15I hired someone.
07:17A designer.
07:19You think there is enough?
07:21Such an asshole.
07:24I think maybe you like it.
07:27Smell the cigarettes from here.
07:30I had one.
07:31You shouldn't be smoking.
07:32You shouldn't be talking.
07:38Come here.
07:39No, you come here.
07:40No, you come here.
07:41No, you come here.
07:49No, you come here.
07:50Do you want me room forno?
07:50No, you come here.
07:51I don't want me room forno care.
07:51No, you care.
07:53No, you come here.
07:54You still want me room forno favor?
07:55No, you don't want me room forno.
07:55No, I don't want.
07:55You still want.
07:56So you won't.
07:56No, I don't want.
07:56No, it's whole.
08:01You killed me, Wander.
08:02You killed me, Wander.
08:10I'm dead.
08:12That was so fucking hot.
08:18Worth the wait.
08:32I should go.
08:41So, uh, obviously we won't see each other during the Olympics, right?
08:46Oh, right.
08:49Your family must be happy there in Russia.
08:52Mm, yes.
08:54My parents are pretty psyched for me.
08:57They're pissed they can't come, but my mom is starting to wake up at 4am to watch every game.
09:02I bet, uh, your parents will be there, right?
09:07My father, yes.
09:09Maybe my brother, but who knows.
09:11Cool.
09:13Anyways, I'm psyched.
09:14I've been dreaming about it my whole life.
09:17Dreaming of what?
09:18Ron's medal.
09:19You fucking wish, dude.
09:24Hey, uh, remember when I made you come hands-free?
09:28Don't fuck yourself, Rosno.
09:29Such a good drink.
09:33Your cab is definitely here.
09:45Bye.
09:45Welcome back to Man in the Crease, your all-star hockey podcast.
09:57For the first period, we are four days into this year's Winter Games,
10:00and there's already a contender for top story here in Sochi, Russia.
10:03What an embarrassing and too promising year for the Russian men's hockey team.
10:08A hard pill to swallow on all mice,
10:11and especially for the young phenom Ilya Rosanoff,
10:14chosen as his country's captain.
10:16All in there, what's up, motherfucker?
10:43Holy fuck, can you believe Russia?
10:47Be nice, Fanny.
10:48Be nice?
10:48They fucking lost Latvia.
10:50Did you see that game?
10:51Yeah, it was a straight-up shit show.
10:52A debacle.
10:53Hey, what did Ross say about it?
10:55Uh, I don't know.
10:56Nothing to me, that's for sure.
10:59I think he knows Canada has this in the bag.
11:01Uh-uh.
11:01It's USA this year, baby.
11:02We're fucking coming for you.
11:03Okay.
11:03Trust me.
11:04You look great in Silver Vani.
11:05Don't even stress.
11:05Oh, good one.
11:06Yeah.
11:09Does your room have that smell?
11:11Yes.
11:12Yes, it does.
11:13Is it black mold?
11:15Because that's what JJ thinks it is.
11:16Yeah, he's probably right.
11:17The good news is we're not going to be here long.
11:19All right, so tonight we can do the men's short form figure skating here.
11:21My buddy Joe is in that program.
11:22We train together.
11:24Would you guys be cool to do that?
11:25I'd love to show up for him.
11:27Hell yeah, man.
11:28Show up for any dude who's that brave.
11:31What do you mean?
11:33Well, I'm assuming your buddy might be gay.
11:35I mean, fucking pray for a dude to show up to a place like this and be like, hey, here's
11:41me.
11:42Russia is not safe for folks like that.
11:45Fucking balls of steel, man.
11:46We're all right.
11:48Let's go.
11:48Let's go.
11:49Let's go.
11:51Man, your buddy fucking killed it.
12:19Yeah, he did.
12:21I'm just going to find the bathroom.
12:43Hey.
12:48I'm not here.
12:50No, I'm not.
12:51I saw you up here.
12:53I wanted to see how you're doing.
12:54Fine.
12:56Go sit down.
12:59We are not anything.
13:03Go away, Holander.
13:11Are you okay?
13:12Please, go.
13:14You didn't answer my text.
13:18No, I did not answer your boring text.
13:21Now you go.
13:23What the fuck?
13:25No, I'm not here.
13:26I'm not here.
13:26I'm not here.
13:27I'm not here.
13:37You need to do it.
13:39Yes, my father.
13:41Minister wants to meet you today evening.
13:45No matter what you want.
13:47This is my honor.
13:49You have to be blessed.
13:51After yesterday,
13:53you won...
13:57...Latviy.
13:59Latviy.
14:01And he's still singing.
14:03How did you do it?
14:05It's not a pity?
14:07It's not a pity.
14:09They don't teach you discipline in this American League.
14:11It's not a game, it's a shame.
14:13It's a real shame.
14:15It's not a hope that you showed up in childhood.
14:19Now I play better than ever.
14:21Our team is damaged.
14:23The team is not playing.
14:25Playing?
14:26What is this American absurd?
14:28What is it playing?
14:29You, captain, you make them playing playing.
14:32You always find someone who's guilty from childhood.
14:41Who is it to you?
14:43Your mother?
14:45She can't do this.
14:51You're a sweetheart.
14:52You are my husband.
14:53Who knows?
14:54You're a husband.
14:55Okay, I did not know.
14:56Who is she?
14:57She was a husband.
14:58She was a man.
14:59You remember her?
15:00I have here in your view
15:01she was your brother.
15:03And where does she?
15:04In Moscow?
15:05Of course,
15:06How do you have?
15:07Of course.
15:08We need to go.
15:09We need to go.
15:10Of course.
15:15We need to go.
15:16It's the evening of the night,
15:21so he can meet with the minister.
15:26Are you ready?
15:28Let's go.
15:30Of course, he's always the same.
15:33He's always the same.
15:35He's always the same.
15:36He's always the same.
15:37He's not in shape.
15:39He's always the same.
15:41He's always the same.
15:43He's always the same.
15:45It's a good deal.
15:48It's too bad.
15:49It's not too bad with the leadership.
15:52It's always the same.
15:54The leadership!
15:56He's not too bad for you.
15:58He's never too bad for you.
16:03You're my angel.
16:04You're my I'm a good him.
16:06Even when the matter with hockey.
16:09Only when we win, Mother?
16:12I'm going to go to the bar, and he's going to need one more local.
16:17Look how she's going to go for you.
16:20From the same time.
16:23I'm an angel. It would be nice if I could remember it.
16:26I want to drink.
16:28I don't know, I'm going to have something interesting.
16:42It's been a long time ago, Ilya.
16:52Long time ago, Sasha.
16:59I think you played well.
17:01I would like to say thank you, but I know that you didn't watch any other games.
17:05For those who have been a whole life son of a coach for hockey, it's hard to avoid this.
17:10I sometimes blame you for me.
17:13When I see what it costs, I blame you for me for me.
17:16In any case, it doesn't matter for you.
17:19It doesn't matter?
17:20Why did you do that?
17:22My father...
17:23Your father is a fool, who will ever kill you.
17:26You need to stop worrying about what he thinks.
17:29And don't worry about these crazy games, when you have a real chance to win this year.
17:34Is it true?
17:35Yes, it is true.
17:37Hunter and Admiral will not go through New Jersey.
17:39New Jersey.
17:40New Jersey, New Jersey, New Jersey, New Jersey, New Jersey, New Jersey and Montreal.
17:42New Jersey and Montreal.
17:43I think that this year you will win this year.
17:44In this year?
17:45Yes, this year.
17:46Because I think that Mitko is a traumatized team.
17:47What you know?
17:48Because I think that Mitko is a traumatized team.
17:53What do you know?
17:54What do you know?
17:55It's an extra sense.
17:56What do you know?
17:57What do you know?
17:58What do you know?
17:59What do you know?
18:00What do you know?
18:01What do you know?
18:02What do you know?
18:03What do you know?
18:04What do you know?
18:05What do you know?
18:06What do you know?
18:07What do you know?
18:08What do you know?
18:09What do you know?
18:10What do you know?
18:11What do you know?
18:12What do you know?
18:13What do you know?
18:14That's not the first time.
18:15In the October of vamosそうだüt, San Francisco.
18:16They were really good.
18:17But too young.
18:19So you would Самok is a victory for a second time that I did as a Lot of Rome.
18:20That's how you win the Coupe of Scenes for a year earlier than I was talking about Sassu.
18:28Thank you, I'm going to sleep.
18:30Tomorrow you'll need to look ideal.
18:33You'll always look ideal.
18:35Right, but you'll need to talk about it.
18:39We'll see you in the next week.
18:42See you later.
18:49Well, what?
18:50It's like Paris, Sassu.
18:54Oh, it's cool.
18:57I just love this place.
19:00Clubs, my head.
19:04The girls are just beautiful.
19:07And boys?
19:10Well, you've seen French boys.
19:15Yeah, Ilya?
19:17Oh, my God.
19:18Oh, my God.
19:19Oh, my God.
19:20Oh, my God.
19:22Oh, my God.
19:23Oh, my God.
19:25Oh, my God.
19:27Oh, my God.
19:29Oh, my God.
19:30Oh, my God.
19:32Oh, my God.
19:34Do you start in the answer?
19:39Before you had fun, you'd be more fun.
19:58Here? Seriously?
20:00I don't know.
20:02The danger was earlier to you.
20:06If you remember me, don't you?
20:11We are children, Sash.
20:15Yes.
20:17That's right.
20:22Let's go.
20:24Okay, let's go somewhere else.
20:28No.
20:38Okay.
20:40Okay.
20:42Okay.
20:52I'm glad to see you.
20:54I'm glad to see you.
21:12Captain's here.
21:14Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
21:17What am I supposed to do?
21:18I don't know.
21:19My mom told me to get away.
21:20Oh, my God.
21:24There's ginger ale on the fish.
21:25Okay, playoffs are over.
21:26You cannot keep the beer.
21:27That's not a rule.
21:28You just made that up.
21:29Hollander, is that a rule?
21:30Unfortunately, it is.
21:31Fuck you, Hollander.
21:32You can barely even grow one.
21:33No, no, fuck you, Swedish in bread.
21:35Fuck you, AJ.
21:36Just fucking do it, Hayden.
21:38Stop saying this.
21:39Boys, let's start.
21:40Turn it up.
21:41It's game six, and the cup is somewhere inside as we speak.
21:45You know that Ilya Rosanoff wants this bad.
21:48Rosanoff and the Raiders have been on fire since the Olympic break.
21:51A heartbreaking game for the Russians seems to have only intensified the young Boston calendar.
21:57He's on a tear, scoring ten goals over the past six playoff games.
22:01Okay, listen the fuck up.
22:04Look, I don't give a fuck how many goals I've scored.
22:08I don't give a fuck how I played two fucking nights ago.
22:12I don't need to think about that.
22:13That was yesterday.
22:14That was before.
22:15Now, I only need one thing.
22:20I need to win.
22:24Here, at home, tonight.
22:26As much fun as it would be to go to California and humiliate them there.
22:31But I want to hear our fans.
22:34I want to hear them scream.
22:37I want to fuck San Francisco.
22:41I know you can do it.
22:43I've seen you fucking do it.
22:44I've seen every one of you do it.
22:47So leave it all the fuck out there tonight.
22:49Because this is our fucking night.
22:56This is our fucking cup.
22:58Fucking fuck San Francisco!
23:06We'll fuck you.
23:12I can't believe that asshole's about to win the cup.
23:15Shane hates it the most.
23:17What?
23:18You ate Rosenhoff.
23:19Of course.
23:20But...
23:21He's very good at hockey.
23:23The best, probably.
23:24Eh, nah.
23:25You're the fucking best all-hander.
23:27Yeah.
23:28Not that animal shit show cock sucking Russia.
23:32And that is that.
23:33The Boston Raiders are your MLH champions.
23:37What a comeback story this year for Lilia Rosenhoff.
23:39The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs.
23:42Leading his team in block shots.
23:44He jumps against.
23:45And obviously...
23:46Yeah.
23:50Legend of Lamar!
23:51Woo!
23:52Woo!
23:53Woo!
23:54Woo!
23:55Woo!
23:56Woo!
23:57Woo!
23:58Woo!
23:59Woo!
24:00Woo!
24:01Woo!
24:02Woo!
24:03Woo!
24:04Woo!
24:05Woo!
24:06Woo!
24:07Woo!
24:08Woo!
24:09Woo!
24:10Woo!
24:11Woo!
24:12Woo!
24:13Woo!
24:14Woo!
24:15Woo!
24:16Woo!
24:17Woo!
24:18Woo!
24:19Woo!
24:20Woo!
24:21Woo!
24:22Woo!
24:23Woo!
24:24Woo!
24:25Woo!
24:26And now, presenting the Lord Talon Award
24:30I was busy
24:31Was who?
24:32Ilya Rosanoff and Shane Hall
24:34But the most important thing
24:42Is the friends we make along the way
24:45Hey, before we give out next award
24:49Can I get a selfie with you?
24:51What?
24:53Come on, when will this ever happen again, buddy?
24:56Okay, fine, but hurry up
24:57Great, give me your number, I'll text them to you
25:07No chance
25:08And the Lord Talon Award for most sportsmanlike player goes to
25:26Well...
25:40Well...
25:54What?
25:57What the fuck do you want, Rosanoff?
26:00You haven't answered a text from me in like six months
26:03You won't even acknowledge I exist unless there's a fucking camera pointed at us
26:07And then it's for some fucking clown show
26:09So yeah, what the fuck do you actually want from me?
26:15Well?
26:19I want you to suck my dick
26:20Oh, fuck you, you are unbelievable
26:22You suck my dick
26:24Maybe yes, nicely
26:39Please
26:47If you want me to get on my knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck your dick
26:55You will have to ask nicer than that
26:57Please get on your knees
27:02On this filthy bathroom floor
27:05And suck my dick
27:08Please
27:10No
27:21What?
27:26No
27:27We'll go back to our seats
27:30Watch the rest of this boring show
27:33And then go to boring party after
27:35And then we might have been waiting all night
27:39You'll come back to my hotel room
27:42And I will maybe
27:44Maybe
27:45Do more than just suck your dick
27:47When did your English get so good?
27:54I, uh, I read the New Yorker now
27:56Really?
27:58No
27:59The New Yorker is boring
28:00My dad loves it
28:04Ah
28:06So being boring is
28:08Is genetic
28:09Let's make a deal
28:17If you win MVP tonight
28:20I will blow you
28:21Fuck you
28:22Whatever you want
28:23And if you win
28:27Good luck to me
28:42Good luck to me
28:46But if you win
29:00It's okay
29:01So everybody
29:02We're going to...
29:02I'm in this position
29:03I'm in this position
29:04What's up, right?
29:04So I'll line up
29:06I'm in this position
29:07Special system, you're in the last game.
29:09I'll talk to you later.
29:10I'll talk to you later.
29:10I'll talk to you later.
29:10I'll talk to you later.
29:30Congratulations.
29:33Now take off your clothes.
29:34You're such an asshole.
30:04What?
30:06It's a lot of windows.
30:25Thanks.
30:26Thanks.
30:27Thanks.
30:28Thanks.
30:29Thanks.
30:30Good. Now get on the bed.
30:55This is a good hotel.
30:58Very nice vodka.
30:59It's hard to find in America.
31:02Okay.
31:05Touch yourself.
31:06What?
31:07Show up for me. I want to watch you.
31:09You what?
31:11It's my special day, Hollander. I want to watch.
31:13I've never...
31:15No shit.
31:16Fuck you.
31:18Give me some vodka, at least.
31:19No, no, no.
31:20Vodka is for after. It's your reward.
31:22No, no.
31:32No.
31:33No, no.
31:33No.
31:34do you want to know how it feels how it feels holding the cup
32:04so Russia this year was something else
32:34it's intense there
32:38so are you heading back soon?
32:47back
32:47to Russia for the summer?
32:52oh yes
32:52why?
32:59what do you mean why?
33:04do you have to?
33:07there is no have to
33:08it's
33:09it's home
33:10yeah
33:12but
33:13I don't know
33:15is it safe?
33:17what do you mean safe?
33:20I don't know
33:21do you even like it there?
33:31what difference does it make?
33:33a pretty big one I think
33:35I need to sleep
33:42oh
33:44yeah me too I should
33:47so I'm off
33:57goodbye Hollander
34:01I don't know
34:12you
34:12I don't know
34:17oh
34:17oh
34:18oh
34:26I don't know.
34:56I don't know.
35:26I don't know.
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