00:00If I was a Nazi and I knew about us, I'd feel like quitting.
00:03Me too.
00:06Three, two, three, hop, two, three.
00:09What's happening? You all get snakebite or something?
00:11Did you get a snakebite, Pasquale?
00:13When?
00:14I got hit in the teeth with a boot when I was three, sir.
00:16Patrolman O'Brien was wearing it at the time.
00:18I'm talking about this.
00:20Now, when a colonel, who was very recently a general, walks into an office, you get to your feet.
00:24I won't remind you about this again, Sergeant.
00:30Sit, two, three, two, three.
00:35Highcloth!
00:39I've been this guy.
00:42I...
00:42Oh, thank you. I could certainly use a cup of coffee.
00:46Yeah, that's for the colonel. And there's no coffee. That's tea.
00:49Tea for Ivan.
00:50And for the lieutenant. That's for the gentleman drink.
00:54Poor. Did you make this?
00:56Sure. I followed the instructions in the cookery manual.
01:00You must have got it wrong.
01:03No.
01:03Sure, you got it wrong.
01:04Look, it says here, add milk and sugar.
01:07I got the milk and the sugar.
01:09But you can't walk in there with uncooked ingredients.
01:12I can't?
01:13Certainly not. It ain't finished yet.
01:15Dear, now you got a jug of tea. Boy, it's a good thing I was around.
01:30Yeah, thank you.
01:30Hey, wait.
01:32Dear.
01:32Are you telling me, Sonny, that you can't trace one tut in the entire population of the British Isles?
01:42Only me, sir.
01:43Yeah, well, I wasn't counting you.
01:45What you're saying is that there isn't a single Britisher that bears your name?
01:48That's so, sir.
01:49And you're absolutely positive?
01:50I think I'm absolutely positive, sir.
01:52Oh, it's not exactly a common name anywhere, sir, tut.
01:55Hey, maybe it's short for tut in common.
01:59There ain't any of them either.
02:00All right, all right. Look, look, let's make some progress here.
02:03Rossi, Pulaski, Pasqua...
02:06Not much Anglo-Saxon in there anywhere, is it?
02:08They ain't got too many Smiths and Joneses in Castellamari, sir.
02:11Castellamari.
02:12Uh, Robertsons are kind of thin on the ground in Ostrovo-Mazowicki, sir.
02:15Ost...
02:16Where's that, for Pete's sake?
02:18Poland, sir. That's where my folks immigrated from.
02:20And who's to blame them?
02:23All right, so you're not Smith, Jones, or Robinson, but we've got them in the unit.
02:27And we've got a Greenwood.
02:29Now, what's Greenwood if it isn't British?
02:31When his father left Vienna, sir, it was Grunewald.
02:33Oh.
02:35So we can't win them all.
02:37But look, let's get out and win some, eh?
02:39And I don't just mean the dames.
02:41Mr. General.
02:42Yeah.
02:42Hi, Herman.
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