- 5 weeks ago
Laurel and Hardy's first talking short sees Stan Laurel accepting Oliver Hardy's dinner invitation... without knowledge of the latter's wife (Mae Busch). With Thelma Todd and Edgar Kennedy. Directed by Lewis R. Foster.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00THE END
00:30We're going to have a great, big, juicy steak with mushroom sauce, strawberries, with
00:54a whipped cream mixed down in the bottom of it, a cup of coffee and a big black cigar.
01:01Any nuts?
01:03You would want nuts.
01:05Well, certainly you're going to have nuts and you're going to...
01:08Oh, good evening, Mr. Harvey.
01:11Good evening, Mrs. Kennedy.
01:13This is my friend, Mrs. Kennedy.
01:16Good evening.
01:21I brought him home to dinner, Mrs. Kennedy.
01:23Oh, how lovely of you, Mr. Harvey.
01:26How is Mr. Kennedy, Mrs. Kennedy?
01:29Oh, he's very well, thank you, Mr. Hardy.
01:32Is Mr. Kennedy home, Mrs. Kennedy?
01:34Not yet, Mr. Hardy.
01:36I must be going.
01:38Good night, Mr. Hardy.
01:40Good night, Mrs. Kennedy.
01:44That was Mrs. Kennedy.
01:48Well, what's the matter?
01:50I was wondering who it was.
01:53You just waited.
01:54You meet Mrs. Hardy.
01:56Mmm.
01:57She's a great scout.
02:00And won't she be surprised to meet you?
02:03She will be surprised, won't she?
02:06Now, don't make a sound.
02:08And tiptoe in and surprise her.
02:11Good boy.
02:24Yoo-hoo!
02:30Yoo-hoo!
02:33What do you mean, Yoo-hoo?
02:42Are we in the right apartment?
02:44Oh, sure.
02:45She's a great scout.
02:47You've got to know her to understand her.
02:50Honey, I've got a nice surprise for you.
02:58You've heard me speak about Stan, haven't you?
03:00Yes.
03:02That's him.
03:04Well, what about it?
03:06Well, we were down playing a little game fool this afternoon,
03:10and he got hungry.
03:12And I told him about those big steaks that you cooked,
03:15and the strawberry souffle with the whipped cream beat up in it,
03:20and that good coffee you made, and some nuts.
03:25Oh, I forgot to tell you.
03:27He likes nuts.
03:29Oh, he does.
03:30Well, isn't that lovely?
03:32Then I told him if he'd come up, you'd be glad to pick something.
03:34Oh, you did?
03:35Well, get a note of this, big boy.
03:37I'm sick and tired of cooking for you and all the bums
03:41that you happen to bring up here for dinner,
03:43and I'm not going to do it any longer.
03:45If you think for the moment that all I'm going to do
03:47is stay in that kitchen, leave over that hot stove!
03:50I don't care what I told you.
03:51I'm telling you now that I'm not going to do it any more.
03:54This is my birthday.
03:55This boy's a friend of mine.
03:56I've known him for five years.
03:58I don't care if you've known him for a hundred little five years.
04:00And I'm not going to cook.
04:02And you're not going to make a slave out of me
04:04for all the bums that he wanted to bring up here for dinner.
04:07You're not trying.
04:08No, you've done it.
04:09You earn the money and I do the forking.
04:11That's all I do.
04:12And besides that, what else do I do?
04:14All you do is my food.
04:16And all you keep out of this.
04:18I'm not trying anything.
04:20And I'm just telling you something.
04:22That I'm not going to do it any more.
04:23I'm all fed up.
04:25Gosh, I can't get a word and egg-waves of you two.
04:28Now, I've listened to you.
04:30You listen to me.
04:32I'm simply sick and tired.
04:34I'm not going to start it any longer.
04:36My mother told me that you're going to make a slave out of me
04:38and keep me in this house till morning all night.
04:40And I'm not going to stick inside of you.
04:42And I'm not going to do it any more.
04:44If you think in one minute that I'm going to go in that kitchen
04:48and talk for you and talk for you,
04:50I'm just afraid not going to do it.
04:52Not just as well.
04:54Not as well.
04:55No, it's not.
04:56Because if I'm not going to do it, I'm not going to...
05:02What do you mean by saying,
05:03listen, I'm trying to talk to you?
05:05You!
05:06You think so?
05:08Now, I'm going home with my mother, that's all.
05:10You're sick and tired of it, and I'm not going to stand any longer.
05:12Do you hear me?
05:13I'm going home with my mother.
05:14Hey, get me out.
05:15He told me what you do.
05:16He told me you were no good.
05:17He said you were absolutely no good.
05:19And this time, let me tell you something.
05:21I'm through.
05:22You get me through?
05:23And I'm going to stay put.
05:29And it's like nothing.
05:31Why, you look like a peanut.
05:40Well, I guess we don't eat.
05:46Oh, yes, we do eat.
05:49I'll cook you a meal like you've never eaten.
05:52Nobody knows what you cook my meals for me.
05:57One thing about me, I'm absolutely independent.
06:01I was surprised.
06:02I have cooked before.
06:08Why don't you do something to help me?
06:10What can I do?
06:12That's the table.
06:13That's simple.
06:14You don't have to use any brains for that.
06:31Get your hands off of that.
06:34Go in the kitchen and light the oven.
06:39And take your feet up.
06:43And take your hat off.
06:46Now go in and light the oven.
07:01You're coming back.
07:18Yes, I'll light it.
07:20You pick the table.
07:31Why don't you be careful?
07:46You might have blown the whole house up.
08:01You know there's a right and wrong way to do everything.
08:31I'm sorry I brought you here.
08:38You've done nothing.
08:40Why, what in the world ever happened, Mr. Harvey?
08:44Well, I was cooking dinner for my friend and I.
08:48And we had a slight accident.
08:51Oh, you poor dear boy.
08:54Maybe there's something I could do to help you.
08:56Well, that's awfully good of you, Mrs. Kennedy.
08:59Why, it would be a pleasure, Mr. Hardy.
09:02You sure I'm not imposing Mrs. Kennedy?
09:05Oh, not at all, Mr. Hardy.
09:08Thank you, Mrs. Kennedy.
09:13What's that, Mrs. Kennedy?
09:15Oh, shut up.
09:17Put her.
09:18Oh, shut up.
09:20Put her.
09:21Put her.
09:24I'm a son of a bitch.
09:25Oh, shut up.
09:26Put her.
09:28Put her.
09:29Push me out.
09:30Push me out.
09:31Push me out.
09:32Push me out.
09:33Mr. Hardy, please.
09:34Push me out.
09:35Take that.
09:36Pull me out.
09:37Push me out.
09:38Pull me out.
09:39Houcy.
09:40Push me out.
09:41Pull me out.
09:42Pull me out.
09:43Get up.
09:44Oh, that's my son.
09:45Get up.
09:46No, Mr. Hardy, but you'd like to frighten me to death.
09:56I'm awfully sorry that happened, Mrs. Kennedy.
09:59Oh, that's all right, Mr. Hardy.
10:01The accidents will happen.
10:02You're right, Mrs. Kennedy.
10:03It won't take me for a minute to get on another dress, Mr. Hardy.
10:07You sure I can't help you, Mrs. Kennedy?
10:09Oh, no, thank you, Mr. Hardy.
10:16If he sees me here like this, he'll kill all of us.
10:19What do I do?
10:21Do?
10:22Why, will you tell him the truth?
10:24The whole truth.
10:25And nothing but the truth.
10:28Absolutely.
10:29What?
10:37My wife.
10:38What do we do?
10:39Tell her the truth.
10:40Oh, shut up.
10:41I don't know where to go.
10:44There goes the truth.
10:45Who in the truth?
10:46Who in the truth?
10:47Who in the truth?
10:48No, not you.
10:50Get her out of here.
10:51Get out of here, Mrs. Kennedy.
10:53Now, keep your head down.
10:57Oh, pussum.
10:59What do you mean, pussum?
11:01Oh, don't be cross.
11:02I'm sorry for what happened.
11:04And I'll fix Dad a nice dinner.
11:06And look, I brought in some nuts.
11:10No, Barbara.
11:11We are through.
11:13Oh, but what do you mean?
11:14I mean that you've broken the camel's back once too often.
11:18Oh.
11:19My trunk is packed.
11:20And I'm leaving for South America tonight.
11:23To do big things.
11:26Oh.
11:27Oh, but Oliver.
11:28And I'm burning my bridges behind me.
11:32Oh.
11:36Burning your what?
11:37Burning my bridges.
11:40Oh, I thought you said bridges.
11:43Oh.
11:44Oh, but Oliver, why are you leaving me?
11:47Because my friend advised me to go.
11:50I understand.
11:51Oh.
11:52Oh.
11:53Just a mess.
11:54You wolf in sheep's clothing.
11:57It's men about town like you that cause all the trouble between man and wife.
12:00What do you mean by taking this poor little innocent to South America and advising him to burn his bridges when he never even started a fire in his life?
12:07I'm talking to you.
12:08Come on, answer me.
12:09What do you mean by taking this poor little innocent to South America and advising him to burn his bridges when he never even started a fire in his life?
12:23I'm talking to you.
12:24Come on, answer me.
12:25What do you mean?
12:26Well, come on.
12:27What do you mean?
12:28Can't you answer?
12:29Oh.
12:30You thrust me, would you?
12:31Oh, you would.
12:32That boy wasn't going to hit you.
12:33That boy wasn't going to hit you.
12:34You thrust me.
12:35He wasn't going to hit you.
12:36Oh, you would.
12:37No, you wouldn't.
12:38No, you wouldn't.
12:39Wait a minute, sir.
12:40Wait a minute, sir.
12:41Wait a minute, sir.
12:51Hey, what's going on here?
12:53Oh, Mr. Warren is banging up my happy home.
12:56He's taking up my happy home, and he's taking my own over to South America.
13:00And I'm not that way! I won't! I just won't, Scott!
13:11Well, you're the little home-breaker, are you?
13:15Hey, I want to tell you something.
13:17Hey, this goes for you, too, big boy.
13:21If any guy ever tried to break up my home,
13:30I'd cut his throat.
13:32Well, I think I'll have to be going, Mr.
13:35Hey, wait a minute.
13:38Put that down!
13:45Oh, there's a wound in the tape, huh?
13:50I can't do it! I can't help you!
13:52I can't help you!
13:53I can't help you!
13:59Ah, Mrs. Hardy!
14:00Please don't call me.
14:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
14:04Stop that, Coyle. Stop that, Coyle.
14:06I'm going to take the boys outside and give them a good-talking, sir.
14:11And you go out in the kitchen and finish up a nice little supper.
14:14I'll have them back here in five minutes, boy.
14:17Oh, oh, thank you so much, Mr. Kennedy.
14:20That's perfectly all right, Mrs. Hardy.
14:23Here, here, here.
14:26You bozos, take this trunk and put it over in my apartment.
14:42Let's get out of here.
14:43Make a hoopie, huh?
14:44Say, it's not a great thing for you fellas that my wife isn't home.
14:46Say, listen.
14:47Listen, now.
14:48If you fellas have got to take chances, you've got to be more careful.
14:52The big thing is, you're just as far away from your wife as you can.
14:57Hey, you fellas should go out on my beach with me some night to thoroughly appreciate my technique.
15:04Now, come on.
15:05We'll go over to the wife.
15:06And I'll take and let that cluck out of the trunk.
15:07And nobody will be any the wiser.
15:08Now, come on.
15:09We'll go over to the wife.
15:10I'll take and let that cluck out of the trunk.
15:11And nobody will be any the wiser.
15:12Come on.
15:13You know, we've married men.
15:14We've got to take and let that cluck out of the trunk.
15:15And nobody will be any the wiser.
15:18Come on, you know.
15:25We're married men.
15:40We've got to stick together.
15:41Well, here they are, Mrs. Hardy.
15:43I brought them back, just like I promised.
15:49Oh, I'll never forget you, Mr. Kennedy.
15:51Oh, that's perfectly all right, Mrs. Hardy.
15:53And listen, any time you want.
15:55Peace, quiet.
15:57Just give me a call.
16:01Now we're going to celebrate,
16:03and I've fixed your favorite dish for you.
16:05And I've fixed your favorite dish for you.
16:07And I've fixed your favorite dish for you.
16:09Oliver, you sit here.
16:11And Stan, you sit over there.
16:17Come to Papa.
16:19Now, Stan, you serve the spaghetti while it's good and hot.
16:21And I'll pour the coffee.
16:23And Oliver loves his coffee with his dinner.
16:25Oh, Oliver, don't do that.
16:39You know, accidents will happen.
16:41Yes, I know that.
16:43I know that.
16:51Your dickie bird is waiting.
16:53Oh, little dickie bird is waiting.
16:55Oh, little dickie bird is waiting.
16:57Ah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
17:13So, little Ditty Bird is waiting.
17:16Well, you don't, you don't understand me.
17:20I'm a crook, am I?
17:26Well, listen.
17:28You get a bit of my technique, dearie.
17:31Now, Oliver, you sit right down. That doesn't concern you and the beast.
18:01Excuse me.
18:31Go!
19:01Oh, my God.
19:31Oh, no!
19:43Oh no!
19:47No, no, no!
19:49Oh no!
19:53Shut down...
19:56Quit your crying!
20:00Close your eyes!
20:02Shut them!
20:26Good night, Mr. Hardy.
20:34Good night, Mr. Hardy.
20:56Good night, Mr. Hardy.
21:00Good night, Mr. Hardy.
21:02Jesus nearly passedhaabria.
21:05Good night, Mr. Hardy.
21:12Good night, Mr. Hardy.
Be the first to comment