- 12 minutes ago
Throughout humankind’s journey, we’ve often been led forward, or backward, by Tims and Als. Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor, the face of the beloved 1990s sitcom “Home Improvement,” was a thoughtless, inconsiderate, and calamity-prone doofus. Al Borland, his co-host of the show-within-a-show “Tool Time,” was the counterbalancing figure Tim required: wise, mature, empathetic, and an exceptionally skilled craftsman.
In the 1800s, the Internet began with a Tim and an Al: the guy you know, Samuel F.B. Morse, and the guy you probably don't, Alfred Vail. In Part 1 of "Fool Time," we explore a partnership that should have worked beautifully if one of them wasn't an attention-desperate entitled no-talent crybaby hack piece of shit.
In the 1800s, the Internet began with a Tim and an Al: the guy you know, Samuel F.B. Morse, and the guy you probably don't, Alfred Vail. In Part 1 of "Fool Time," we explore a partnership that should have worked beautifully if one of them wasn't an attention-desperate entitled no-talent crybaby hack piece of shit.
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SportsTranscript
00:00It's still so wild to me that we built an entire electric, global telecommunications network,
00:06one that would let you send a message from Texas to Algeria in a couple of minutes
00:10before we'd even seen the entire globe.
00:13Obviously, there were big chunks of it that we weren't too familiar with until recently,
00:17like Antarctica, but even if we couldn't accurately map it in detail a couple hundred years ago,
00:22we at least knew it was there.
00:24We cannot say the same about Severnaya Zemlya.
00:27Time after time, explorers and surveyors were in the general vicinity, but they just totally whiffed on it.
00:33They never sailed close enough to notice it.
00:34It wasn't until 1913 that a Russian expedition finally caught a glance.
00:39These islands combined to form a landmass larger than the state of Massachusetts,
00:44and we got well into the 20th century without having any idea it was even there.
00:50So it feels a little out of order that more than a half century prior, in the mid-1800s,
00:55we built a worldwide telecommunications grid that was well on its way to reaching every populated landmass on the planet.
01:02But if you've ever taken on any kind of home improvement project, you might be able to relate.
01:06You do stuff out of order.
01:07You don't read the instruction manual, or if you do, you don't bother to give it a cursory skim before beginning.
01:13You don't learn or plan.
01:14You just jump right into the fun part.
01:16Maybe I'm projecting.
01:17Maybe that's just me.
01:19But that's often how these early telegraph companies did it, too.
01:23Their chief decision makers were people who annoyed each other.
01:25They betrayed, cheated, stole from one another.
01:28They would cut every corner they could possibly cut.
01:31They got sloppy.
01:32They screwed up all the time.
01:34Some were legitimate scientists and engineers, even brilliant ones.
01:37Others skated by on pure experience.
01:40Still others had neither knowledge nor experience.
01:43They were just loud.
01:44And despite all of that, they still, together, somehow made it happen.
01:50How?
01:51Well, it's a different time.
01:54Does everybody know what time it is?
01:57Come on, you're the studio audience.
01:59You're supposed to know what time it is.
02:01Let's try this again.
02:03Does everybody know what time it is?
02:06TOOLS TIME!
02:13Within every last sketchy business partnership, every Binford Tools,
02:18there was always a Tim the Tool Man Taylor,
02:20an impulsive, self-centered try-hard who, despite his crafted every-man image,
02:25suspiciously felt most comfortable in a necktie,
02:27who regarded his identity as a performance that needed to be maintained
02:31and strung along between every waking moment and the next.
02:34And there was always an Al Borland, a mature, highly proficient, even-handed,
02:39and counter-balancing figure whose identity was effortless and casual as your favorite flannel shirt.
02:45What Al would build, Tim would tear asunder for Al to put back together.
02:49Strangely, they often needed one another, and sometimes even liked one another,
02:54but in the end, in every case, there was a winner and a loser.
02:58Some became legends, institutions, principles, units of measurement were named after them.
03:03Statues were made of them that still stand to this day.
03:07And as for some others?
03:09I don't think so, Tim.
03:10The story of the development of the World Wide Telegraph Network of the mid-19th century,
03:40will be told in four chapters.
03:42Within, we will encounter a wretched Tim, an impulsive Tim, and a catastrophic Tim,
03:48as well as a craftsman Al, a noble Al, and a transformational Al.
03:54So what does it mean to be a Tim, and what does it mean to be an Al?
03:58If the long-running 1990s sitcom Home Improvement was before your time,
04:01after your time, or you just never bothered to watch it,
04:03what you missed was a somewhat conventional, family-friendly ratings juggernaut.
04:09In terms of viewership, its only real competition during its peak was Seinfeld.
04:13But while Seinfeld is widely quoted, referenced, streamed, and syndicated 30 years later,
04:17we've pretty much moved on from Home Improvement.
04:20To explore why, let's consider similarly popular 1990s sitcoms
04:24that you're likely to find next time you flip around on a hotel room TV.
04:28Friends doesn't have one main character, it has six,
04:31and they all share the spotlight fairly evenly.
04:33Seinfeld is nominally about one guy,
04:35but he's surrounded by co-main characters who are funnier than he is.
04:39The King of Queens offers a nucleus of three primary inherently funny characters
04:43who themselves are surrounded by strong supporting characters
04:46with plenty of their own goofs and stuff they got going on.
04:49The Fresh Prince does revolve entirely around Will,
04:52but it completely works because he's such a cool and likable guy,
04:55and his supporting cast is both strong and perfectly tailored around him.
04:59Tim the Tool Man Taylor is the nucleus around which everything and everyone else revolves.
05:05Without him, there is zero comedy, conflict, or story to tell.
05:10Without him, his wife Jill would be a pleasant, capable woman
05:13who pursues a career in psychology.
05:15Her kids would be the same three, mostly interchangeable kids who do regular kid stuff.
05:19Their next-door neighbor Wilson dispenses delightful and eccentric advice during trying times,
05:23but without Tim, it's hard to know who would produce those trying times.
05:28And Al Borland, Tim's co-host of the show within a show, Tool Time,
05:32would be the knowledgeable host of a conventional PBS-style home improvement show,
05:36and that would be that.
05:38An important distinction between home improvement and these shows is that
05:41these supporting characters are capable of playing something other than straight.
05:45Every character in Friends harbors a unique failing.
05:48Every character in Seinfeld is an asshole.
05:50Almost every character in The King of Queens has antisocial tendencies.
05:53The show has zero interest in resolving by the end of each episode.
05:57The Fresh Prince is mostly surrounded by delightful weirdos.
06:00Tim, on the other hand, is surrounded by people who are rarely allowed to exhibit
06:04any failings or even really make that many jokes.
06:07It was a problem that managed to break the fourth wall.
06:09Pamela Anderson, who played the first Tool Time girl,
06:12got so bored of giving the same two or three lines every episode
06:15that she left after a couple seasons and had to be replaced.
06:18Jill was played by Patricia Richardson,
06:20who spent years insisting to the show's execs that they needed to make her character
06:24something more than just a nagging housewife.
06:27More broadly, she observed that a show so uniquely and tightly wound around one character
06:31was getting stale.
06:33As the eighth and final season was wrapping up,
06:35she was offered a huge deal to come back for a ninth,
06:37but she said,
06:38It wasn't really Tim Allen's fault.
06:45He played a great Tim Taylor.
06:46It's just that Tim Taylor was definitionally an abrasive doofus and a selfish idiot.
06:51He held a near-total monopoly on failings and foibles,
06:53well past the point at which he could have been lovable or relatable
06:56like a George Costanza or Doug Heffernan.
06:59This, I believe, is why we've left Home Improvement in the past.
07:02No matter how wildly popular it was at the time,
07:05we don't like Tim.
07:06Which might have been fine if he were part of a Seinfeld-style rotation of Tim's,
07:12but they were basically Maddox, Glavin, Smoltz, and Avery.
07:15Tim was out there all episode, every episode.
07:19He had one pitch.
07:20I'm a guy, and all guys are cavemen, and I like guy stuff.
07:25I got tired quick.
07:26Carmen, the opera.
07:28Now, if they had an opera named Car-man, I'd be there.
07:31Great stuff, Tim. Thank you.
07:33You wish someone would come in and give him the hook, but the bullpen's empty.
07:36Tim is the only character who can produce his own humor,
07:39who can never provoke anyone or stir the pot in any way,
07:42so he must always do so if the show is going to continue to call itself a comedy.
07:46And if that's what's always required of you,
07:49you can only be an impulsive, jittery, self-absorbed child
07:53who's insatiably greedy for attention.
07:55Not only is he desperate and annoying, he's a jerk.
07:58Many episodes end with him being shamed into being a decent husband
08:01after saying or doing something so egregious,
08:04you wonder whether or not he actually wants to be married.
08:07Sometimes he's merely a goofy sitcom asshole,
08:09like the time he embarrasses Jill by airing out intimate details about her on his TV show.
08:14Wait, I got it. I taught you both.
08:15My wife drools in her sleep.
08:17Other times, Tim is just a regular asshole,
08:20like the time he notices that Jill's car has a scrape on it.
08:23What's this weird mark on the door?
08:25What mark?
08:27It's like a scratch someone tried to cover up.
08:29When Jill explains that someone else nicked the door in the parking lot
08:31and it wasn't her fault, Tim continues to scold her anyway.
08:35Didn't you park where no one else could park next to you?
08:37Again, it's not even his car, it's Jill's car.
08:41Tim's not just a thoughtless buffoon.
08:43He can at times be a tough watch.
08:44She's fundamentally off-putting.
08:46As we saw there and as we'll continue to see,
08:49he's sometimes just plain mean,
08:51often making completely unprovoked and hurtful digs
08:53at the people around him who love him and care about him the most,
08:56such as Al Borland.
08:59Good old Al. Love him.
09:00While not entirely without flaws,
09:02he's good-natured, kind, empathetic, wise, mature,
09:05and an exceptionally skilled craftsman.
09:08All the things Tim is not.
09:10Al belongs to a loose alliance of three characters,
09:12the others being Jill and Wilson,
09:14whose job it is to counterbalance Tim and prevent his failings
09:17from consuming the show entirely.
09:20This is a battle they lose.
09:22But unlike Jill and Wilson,
09:23Al is in a position to defy Tim and sometimes even win.
09:27These qualities are what make Al the other half of this perfect archetype,
09:31the specific qualities of which can be found in Tool Time
09:35and only in Tool Time.
09:37I, like most others, have left this show firmly in the past until now.
09:41It had its moments.
09:42Its slapstick was often great,
09:44but I don't really have any particularly strong attachment to it.
09:47And I hope that serves to demonstrate just how powerful
09:50the Al and Tim archetype is
09:53and how perfectly they represent the figures we are about to meet.
09:56An Al, as well as a Tim, can be any kind of person,
10:00not just a 1990s white guy who hosts a fictional TV show
10:03inside another fictional TV show.
10:05Perhaps you're an Al.
10:06Perhaps you've had moments in which you caught yourself being a little bit of a Tim.
10:10Perhaps you're both.
10:12Perhaps you're neither.
10:13But Al's and Tim's, though they have taken many different names
10:16and assumed innumerable forms,
10:18have always existed throughout humankind's journey.
10:21And here, they are in abundance.
10:23The more I explore the story of the 19th century telegraph network
10:28and the deeper I dove,
10:29the more Tim's and Al's I found staring right back at me
10:33through the annals of time.
10:34Samuel F.B. Morse is celebrated as the father of the telegraph,
10:43which would make him one of the most consequential figures of modern times.
10:47Sophisticated communication is one of humankind's definitional qualities.
10:50Another is the tendency to migrate and spread across the earth.
10:54Naturally, then, for ages,
10:55we've obsessed over the concept of instantly communicating
10:57with someone who's really far away.
11:00And our solutions are welcome reminders
11:01of how ingenious we're really capable of being.
11:05In the 9th century,
11:06the Byzantine Empire did some Lord of the Rings-type stuff,
11:09or rather, Lord of the Rings did some Byzantine Empire-type stuff,
11:12developing a network of bonfire stations on distant mountaintops
11:15that would communicate one basic message or another
11:18depending on what time of day they were lit.
11:20On and around the Great Wall of China during the Ming Dynasty,
11:23they sent messages through a combination of flames,
11:26drumbeats, flags, and cannon fire.
11:28People in West Africa developed what were called talking drones,
11:31which produced a sophisticated array of sounds
11:33that could actually emulate syllables and vowels.
11:36They were loud enough to be heard the next village over
11:38and communicated anything from calls for a meeting to imminent threats.
11:42Of course, these solutions were limited by how far someone could actually hear or see something.
11:47In 1820, Danish physicist Hans Christian Worstedt discovered conclusively
11:52that electricity is up to something a little bit more impressive
11:55than simply getting really hot and creating sparks.
11:58It actually generates its own magnetic field.
12:01And what that means is that if you shoot a current down a wire,
12:05it can make a magnetic compass at the other end of that wire point one direction or the other.
12:10That wire can be really, really long, and it will still do that.
12:17Oh, baby.
12:19One of the earliest attempts at harnessing this phenomenon for the sake of communication
12:23was London's Cook and Wheatstone Telegraph,
12:25a true testament to the idea that worse technology is cooler.
12:29It'll soon be outmoded, but in 1837, it's the best game in town.
12:33Somebody sitting about 20 kilometers away from here
12:36is connected to this thing by a cable that houses five different wires,
12:39each of which are connected to one of these five magnetic needles.
12:43And depending on whether the wires are hit with a positive or negative charge,
12:46they can point this way or that way.
12:48So that faraway person manipulates those wires
12:50to make the two needles of their choosing point to any one of these 20 letters.
12:55Obviously, there are a few letters missing,
12:56but nothing a little creative shorthand can't fix.
12:59And of course, once they send a message to you,
13:01you can use these keys down here to manipulate the wires and talk to them.
13:05So yes, you can quietly, discreetly, and instantly talk to somebody two towns over.
13:11This is amazing.
13:12This is something that might have gotten you burned at the stake a couple centuries prior.
13:16The problem is the wire.
13:18In this era, it's pretty much always going to be the wire.
13:22A 20-kilometer stretch is tough to maintain,
13:24especially in 19th-century England,
13:26where it's subject to the winds of constant rainfall
13:28and legions of bored Dickensian street urchins.
13:31It's so prone to fouling up and breaking down
13:33that they don't even really bother trying to expand this line
13:36into a larger constellation of lines.
13:38But the discovery of electromagnetism is enough
13:40to capture the attention of the world,
13:43including that of Samuel F.B. Morse.
13:46Samuel F.B. Morse is a classic Tim,
13:49one desperate for attention and fame.
13:51His original plan was to win widespread recognition as a painter.
13:55He was technically proficient at it.
13:57His work was good for what it was.
13:58But he preferred to paint sitting portraits of politicians,
14:02aristocrats, or otherwise notable people,
14:04in part because he seemed infatuated with the ruling class
14:07and he badly wanted to be part of it.
14:09But art was going in a different direction.
14:12As Kenneth Silverman noted in his biography of Morse,
14:14Lightning Man,
14:15American art was experiencing a shift.
14:17People no longer just wanted to stare at famous guys.
14:20They wanted scenes they found familiar,
14:23celebrations of everyday life,
14:24people whose postures and expressions told stories.
14:27People who the established art world
14:29had always ignored and forgotten.
14:31And if not that,
14:32get wild with it.
14:34Take the biggest swings you can
14:36and try to capture an epic on canvas.
14:39Morse had no interest in either approach, though.
14:41He just wanted to keep on doing
14:42his sitting portraits of famous people.
14:45Which would be perfectly fine,
14:46but just like the tool man
14:48with his incessant jokes no one liked or wanted,
14:50Morse felt like he was owed acclaim.
14:53He should not have to evolve as an artist.
14:55Everyone should come to him.
14:57When they didn't,
14:58and his career predictably fizzled out as a result,
15:01Morse gave up painting entirely
15:02and collapsed into embarrassing fits of self-fitty,
15:05melodramatically describing art
15:07as a mistress who had abandoned him.
15:10So what do you do
15:10if you're a big-time crybaby
15:12and a complete loser
15:13who still wants to be world-famous?
15:15You find the next wave.
15:17Accounts differ as to what actually went down
15:19during a voyage Morse takes in 1832,
15:22in which he overhears some others
15:24discussing the wonders of the electromagnet.
15:26Morse will later claim that right here on this ship,
15:29he is the first to come up with the idea
15:31of the electric telegraph.
15:33This is objectively and categorically not true.
15:35Many others had already been experimenting
15:37with this for years.
15:38But a full five years later,
15:40he'll be so convinced it's his idea
15:42that he actually writes a letter
15:44to the ship's captain
15:44and a few of its passengers
15:46trying to track down who spilled the beans.
15:48Even if someone did,
15:49Morse, it's your fault
15:50for flapping your gap all over the ship.
15:52However, that really went down,
15:54Morse arrives home
15:55and gets to work building his telegraph.
15:57You know, the trouble is,
15:59Samuel F.E. Morse
16:00and Tim the Tool Man Taylor
16:01have spent all their time in the arts,
16:03with Morse a painter
16:04and Tim a showman
16:05consumed with shoehorning stand-up material
16:07into a home improvement show
16:08instead of going out there
16:10and getting their hands dirty.
16:11And it really shows.
16:12You want to know what it looks like
16:14when Tim tries his hand at woodworking?
16:16This.
16:18And you want to know what it looks like
16:20when Morse tries his hand at woodworking?
16:22This.
16:28The goofiness of his first telegraph prototype
16:30can be forgiven to a point,
16:32because in the field of telegraphy,
16:34pretty much everyone was an amateur
16:35at this point in history.
16:37But compared to the elegant
16:38and beautifully crafted telegraph
16:40Cook and Wheatstone were developing
16:41around the same time,
16:42this looks like...
16:44I mean, it looks like he slapped it together
16:46using some canvas frames
16:47he had left over
16:48from his failed painting career,
16:49which is exactly what he did.
16:52You're probably familiar
16:53with the universally adopted version
16:55of the telegraph,
16:56the one where you tap a little key
16:57as a dot or a dash
16:58to send signals.
16:59Instead, Morse wildly overcomplicates things
17:03by requiring you to preset
17:05this little sawtooth thing
17:07as you would a printing press
17:08in order to send a letter,
17:09weirdly impressive in its own way,
17:11but it's still pretty silly.
17:12You then run that thing
17:14across this thing,
17:15which trips a battery,
17:16which sends a charge
17:17to this little electromagnet,
17:18which makes this big,
17:19menacing pendulum swing back and forth,
17:22which brings us to
17:23the one game-changing innovation
17:25that we do have to give Morse
17:26a lot of credit for.
17:27At the end of the pendulum
17:29is a pencil that scrapes
17:30against this paper ribbon
17:31in order to record the signal.
17:34This is big.
17:35The Cook and Wheatstone telegraph
17:36was simple enough for anybody to use,
17:38since it just pointed to letters,
17:40but the signals were ephemeral.
17:42The needles would only point for an instant,
17:44so they'd have to be sent slowly enough
17:45for the receiving party to look up,
17:47read the letter,
17:47look down,
17:48write down the letter.
17:49High potential for human error.
17:51Recording the signal automatically
17:53eliminates that potential
17:54and allows the sender to blast a message
17:56as quickly as the receiving apparatus
17:58can record it.
17:59Another crucial upside of this thing,
18:01although one I think Morse stumbled into
18:02accidentally and by necessity,
18:04it can transmit and receive a message
18:06over a single copper wire.
18:08The Cook and Wheatstone system
18:10requires several,
18:11which again means far higher
18:12production costs,
18:13maintenance costs,
18:14and potential for failure.
18:16Still though,
18:17this thing looks like dog shit.
18:18It looks like this pendulum
18:20is going to go haywire
18:21if anyone sneezes
18:22within a one-mile radius,
18:23and I'm not even going to look up
18:24what this goddamn thing does up here.
18:26Morse, are you going to take a shower?
18:28Are you going to signal
18:29a passing train?
18:31He needs help, man.
18:32What he needs in the worst way
18:34is a skilled machinist,
18:37a craftsman,
18:39an Al Borland.
18:45Alfred Bale.
18:46Look at that.
18:47His name's even Al.
18:48The similarities only begin there.
18:50He's generous, industrious,
18:52humble to a fault,
18:53and kind of an unheralded genius.
18:55Most importantly at the moment,
18:56he's an excellent machinist
18:58who's capable of dramatically improving
19:00and optimizing this thing.
19:02Bale happens to attend
19:03Morse's demonstration
19:04of his device at NYU
19:05and offers his services.
19:07Even better,
19:08his dad ponies up
19:09some initial investment
19:10in the use of his ironworks.
19:12Morse and Bale decide
19:13to divide and conquer,
19:14and this is when
19:15the Al-Tim dynamic
19:17really begins to present itself.
19:19Bale heads to Jersey
19:20and gets to work on designing
19:21and building new telegraph equipment
19:23that'll look a lot more similar
19:25to this.
19:26Clean, efficient, effective,
19:28built with the utmost care
19:29and craftsmanship.
19:30But elegance such as this
19:32is always wasted on a Tim
19:33whose purpose is to misuse it
19:35if not destroy it outright.
19:36For the filigree work
19:37around the edges,
19:38I used the Binford scroll saw.
19:40Nice job, Al.
19:41Every time,
19:43you know he's gonna find a way
19:44to screw it up
19:45and you think you know
19:46how dumb it's gonna be
19:47and every time,
19:48it turns out,
19:49you have no idea.
19:53Morse files what's called
19:54a patent caveat,
19:55basically a sort of
19:56pre-application
19:57that you send
19:58to the patent office
19:59to let him know
19:59you're gonna send him
20:00an official application later.
20:02So, granted,
20:03it is kind of a rough draft,
20:05but...
20:05Dude.
20:07Come on, man.
20:09You gotta be shitting me.
20:10The thing about doing
20:11a first, second, third draft
20:12is that they're
20:13different things.
20:14You should probably
20:15go get more paper
20:16to write on.
20:16You don't just write
20:17the second draft
20:18on top of the first draft.
20:19Some of this is in pencil,
20:20some of it's in pen.
20:22Sometimes the stuff written
20:23in pen is more important,
20:24sometimes it's not.
20:25Stuff is just crossed out
20:27instead of erased.
20:28If you squint through
20:29this crap long enough,
20:30you'll see illustrations
20:31of Morse's
20:32sawtooth apparatuses.
20:33These are the things
20:34that are fed through here.
20:35Using various combinations
20:37and keys,
20:37you can use them
20:38to signal pretty much
20:39any number you want
20:40using these ten blocks.
20:42One notch for the number one,
20:43two notches for the number two,
20:45et cetera.
20:46Morse designates
20:47one notch for the number zero,
20:49then apparently realizes
20:50he already used it
20:51for the number one,
20:52so he just scribbles
20:53a new zero over here.
20:55What kind of shit is this, man?
20:57You gotta get it together.
20:58I think this speaks
20:59to Morse's general lack
21:00of empathy toward other people.
21:02Just as Tim is a host
21:03of a tool show
21:03and is terrible at using tools,
21:05Morse is the nominal progenitor
21:07of a system for connecting
21:08to other people
21:09who has little interest
21:10in connecting to other people.
21:12He has no regard
21:12for the poor saps
21:13in the patent office
21:14who are actually gonna have
21:15to make sense of this thing.
21:16His art career torpedoed
21:18because of his total disinterest
21:19in paintings
21:20that were either of
21:21or for the common person.
21:22And just wait
21:24till you get a load
21:25of his dictionary system
21:27which expresses nothing
21:28but outright contempt
21:29for you and me
21:31and any other unfortunate soul
21:33who might ever attempt
21:34to use it.
21:38I'm sure you're probably familiar
21:40with Morse code, right?
21:42This is definitely not that,
21:44although at first
21:44it kind of seems that way.
21:46Since you can use
21:47those sawtooth things
21:48to send numbers,
21:49those numbers are then encoded
21:50as these letters.
21:52With these letters,
21:53obviously, you can form words
21:54and sentences
21:55and paragraphs
21:56and poems
21:57and whatever you want.
21:58That's all we need.
21:59That's a wrap, right?
22:01Not if you're Samuel F.B. Morse
22:03who has decided
22:05for some reason
22:06that it's also important
22:09to assign a number
22:10to every word.
22:16You know how many words
22:18there are?
22:19A lot.
22:20That's how many.
22:21You're probably asking,
22:22why do you need
22:23to assign numbers
22:24to every word
22:25when you can already spell
22:27any word you want?
22:28Let me tell you,
22:29I'm as lost as you are.
22:31I have no idea
22:32why Morse thinks
22:33this is necessary.
22:34Now,
22:35this sheet here
22:36can only fit
22:372,700 words.
22:39It would be bad enough
22:41if this dictionary
22:42were only 2,700 words long.
22:46This dictionary
22:47is 30,000 words long.
22:55Ironically enough,
22:56I'm at a total loss
22:57for words.
22:58This is one of the most
23:00grotesque things
23:00I've ever seen.
23:02I hate it.
23:02I hate looking at it.
23:03I'm having a bad time.
23:05So is Morse, at least.
23:06It's such a mammoth undertaking
23:07that even Silverman,
23:09his biographer,
23:10wasn't totally convinced
23:11he got all the way
23:11to 30,000 words.
23:13But we do know
23:14that Morse spent
23:14about a month
23:15losing sleep
23:16and straining his eyes
23:17by candlelight
23:18trying to finish
23:18the most pointless
23:19project of all time.
23:21The dictionary
23:22in its entirety
23:23has been lost to history,
23:24so we don't know
23:25exactly how it was laid out.
23:27According to one source,
23:28I found,
23:28Morse at least
23:29front-loaded
23:30the most common words
23:31in the front of the dictionary,
23:32so they were easier
23:33to look up and type.
23:34But according to
23:36a couple other sources,
23:37he didn't even do that
23:38and just assigned
23:39the numbers
23:40in strict alphabetical order.
23:42As a result,
23:42the marquee spots
23:43in the dictionary,
23:44the numbers easiest
23:45to type in,
23:46were awarded to words
23:47like abaffed,
23:48abash,
23:49abashed,
23:50abashing.
23:51I really hate this.
23:52I'm in hell.
23:53So if that's the case,
23:54let's try and game out
23:55how long it would
23:56typically take people
23:57to transmit
23:57and receive
23:58the first message
23:59that Morse and Bale
24:00demonstrate in front of the public.
24:02Railroad cars just arrived,
24:04345 passengers.
24:06First things first,
24:07it's time to scour
24:08through this monstrosity
24:09and flip and flip and flip
24:10until you've found
24:11the word railroad,
24:13which is number
24:13probably 23,000 or whatever.
24:16What's next?
24:17Cars.
24:17Okay, time to dive
24:18right back in.
24:19Word number,
24:20let's say,
24:213,000-something.
24:22Just.
24:23Okay.
24:24Word number
24:2514,778.
24:29Arrived.
24:30Oh, sweet.
24:31That's only word number
24:321,500 or so.
24:34345, huh?
24:35We can actually type
24:36those numbers,
24:36so that's a piece of cake.
24:38Passengers.
24:39Uh, there it is,
24:40number, let's say,
24:4220,130.
24:45Each of those words
24:46must have taken
24:4610 seconds minimum
24:48to look up, right?
24:49Then they actually
24:50had to load it up
24:51in those sawtooth blocks,
24:52which takes about
24:53as much time
24:53as setting up
24:54a printing press.
24:55Then they fire it off.
24:57Then,
24:57when the person
24:58on the other end
24:59gets the numbers,
25:00they have to look up
25:00all the words
25:01in their book
25:02and do it all over
25:03again just to decode it.
25:05It's not hard
25:05to imagine
25:06this whole process
25:07taking a full
25:07five minutes
25:08to send five words.
25:10God help you
25:10if you want to send,
25:11say, 100 words,
25:12you'd be better off
25:13just walking over there
25:14and telling them.
25:15Regardless,
25:16onlookers are astounded.
25:19For reasons you can understand,
25:20they don't care
25:21how inefficient it is.
25:22They just observe proof
25:24for the first time
25:25of someone talking
25:26to someone else
25:27while sitting in a chair
25:29miles away.
25:30It defies everything
25:32they've come to understand
25:34about what is possible.
25:40Thankfully,
25:40good sense prevails.
25:42After realizing
25:42how terrible of an idea
25:44this dictionary actually is,
25:45Morse chucks it
25:46right in the garbage
25:47in favor of the solution
25:48that should have been
25:49obvious to them all along.
25:51We, of course,
25:52know it as Morse code.
25:53Dots and dashes
25:54that signal
25:55individual letters
25:56and numbers,
25:57not words.
25:58The benefits of this
25:58are multifold,
25:59enormous,
26:00and obvious.
26:01Instead of rifling
26:02through a dictionary,
26:03you can memorize
26:04about 40 codes,
26:0526 for letters,
26:0610 for numbers,
26:07a few extra
26:08for this or that.
26:09Morse code is so
26:10self-evidently superior
26:11to every other
26:13telegraph communication
26:13system that it's
26:14soon adopted
26:15as the international
26:16standard.
26:17So perfect
26:18that it'll even
26:19outlast the telegraph
26:20itself and will be
26:21commonly used
26:22more than a century
26:22down the road
26:23for radio communication.
26:25Soon enough,
26:26it's coupled
26:26with Alfred Vail's
26:27far superior
26:28telegraph equipment.
26:29There are no
26:30sawtooth block story
26:31about,
26:31nothing to preset.
26:32You just tap
26:33dots and dashes
26:34into this key
26:35with your finger.
26:36And thanks to
26:36Vail's exceptional
26:37skill as a machinist,
26:38this thing is sturdy
26:39and clean and mean,
26:41right down to the
26:41electromagnet,
26:42right down to the
26:43neatly coiled wires,
26:44right down to the
26:45paper tape that feeds
26:46out of the wheel
26:47without jamming.
26:48It's beautiful.
26:50That five-word message
26:51that used to take
26:52about five minutes
26:53to encode,
26:53and send and receive
26:54and decode.
26:55With a little bit
26:56of practice,
26:57operators can do
26:58that in seconds.
26:59By May 24th,
27:001844,
27:01copper wire has
27:02been strung all
27:03the way from
27:04Baltimore to
27:04Washington, D.C.
27:06Morse mans the
27:07telegraph in D.C.,
27:08Vail in Baltimore.
27:09Morse, after asking
27:10a volunteer to suggest
27:11some words to send
27:12to Vail,
27:13taps out the phrase,
27:14What hath God robbed?
27:16Vail receives it
27:17perfectly and repeats
27:18it right back to him
27:19as proof of receipt.
27:21That's the moment
27:21that goes down
27:22in history,
27:23but I would argue
27:23that this is not
27:24the day the internet
27:26begins.
27:27A better answer
27:28for that probably
27:28comes a few months
27:29later on the day
27:30Vail and some guy
27:31named Wills play
27:32a full game of
27:33checkers by signaling
27:33their moves along
27:34the Baltimore-Washington
27:35telegraph line.
27:37This day,
27:37November 16th,
27:391844,
27:40was most likely
27:41the day online
27:42gaming was born.
27:44But my preferred
27:45answer,
27:46one that feels
27:47personally most right
27:48to me,
27:48is back on
27:49May 27th,
27:511844.
27:51Morse and Vail
27:53make the following
27:53exchange.
27:55Hey,
27:56eat dinner yet?
27:57Yeah.
27:58You?
27:59Yeah.
28:01This is the day
28:02the internet begins.
28:21Just 12 years later,
28:31in 1856,
28:32this is what
28:32the American
28:33telegraph network
28:34looks like.
28:35Houston to New York,
28:36or Chicago to New Orleans,
28:37or St. Louis to Boston,
28:39in, well,
28:40in practice,
28:41probably a couple hours,
28:42but in theory,
28:43an instant.
28:44An equally expansive network
28:45has simultaneously
28:46found its footing
28:47in Europe
28:48and is well on its way
28:49to Africa,
28:50the Middle East,
28:50and Asia.
28:51The Morse telegraph
28:53did this.
28:54Morse code
28:55did this.
28:56A perfect,
28:57elegant,
28:58simple code
28:58came alive
28:59and shot
29:0050,000 miles
29:01of copper wire
29:02across a land
29:03that didn't have
29:04automobiles yet,
29:05didn't have
29:05Minnesota or Kansas yet,
29:07barely had typewriters.
29:09It is the
29:09most massive leap forward
29:11in the history
29:12of communication
29:13that humankind
29:13has experienced
29:14since the advent
29:15of written language.
29:17And you know what?
29:19A lot of people
29:20say that Samuel Morse
29:22didn't invent Morse code.
29:24They say that
29:25Alfred Vail did.
29:27And they've been
29:27saying it for a long time.
29:30And I think
29:31they're right.
29:36The prevailing view
29:37remains that
29:38Morse invented
29:39Morse code,
29:40but the more I read,
29:41the more convinced
29:42I was that Morse code
29:43probably should be
29:45called Vail code.
29:46At the bare minimum,
29:47I am completely convinced
29:48that Vail deserves
29:49far more credit
29:50than he's gotten
29:51and that Morse
29:52actively
29:52and selfishly
29:54worked to shut him out.
29:56In 1904,
29:57Alfred Vail's son
29:58Stephen wrote a letter
29:59to the New York Times
30:00asserting that his father
30:01was the true inventor
30:02of Morse code.
30:03He argued that
30:03the senior Vail
30:04not only developed
30:05the receiver,
30:06key,
30:06and code itself,
30:07but did so
30:08completely unaided by Morse,
30:09who, he argues,
30:10maneuvered tirelessly
30:12to squash any notion
30:13that Vail had
30:14anything to do with it.
30:15Included is a letter
30:16purportedly from Vail
30:17claiming that he is
30:18the sole inventor
30:19of, quote,
30:19this mode of telegraphed
30:21embossed writing,
30:22which is a little vague,
30:23but is clarified
30:24in a passage from 1852,
30:26in which he says
30:27an alphabetical code
30:28first occurred to him.
30:30A compendium of letters
30:31and journals
30:32released by another
30:33of his sons
30:33is full of testimony
30:34from other people
30:35supporting this.
30:36Among the highlights,
30:37Vail's assistant,
30:38who helped him
30:38construct the telegraph device,
30:40said that Vail
30:40came up with Morse code
30:42independently.
30:43Moses S. Beach,
30:44the editor of the New York Sun,
30:45explicitly states
30:46that Alfred Vail
30:47was the one
30:48and only inventor
30:49of both Morse code
30:50and the Morse telegraph.
30:52One Reverend
30:52Josiah Canfield
30:53offers a very detailed story
30:55in which Vail
30:56was struck with the idea,
30:57went to a local newspaper,
30:58and asked which letters
30:59of the alphabet
31:00were most commonly used
31:01in the English language,
31:02which would explain
31:03why E,
31:04the most commonly used letter,
31:05was assigned
31:06the simplest signal,
31:07a single dot.
31:08This detail
31:09is very significant to me.
31:11This innovation,
31:12which made transmission
31:13of code far more easy
31:15and efficient,
31:16is the exact same innovation
31:18that seems to have
31:19completely eluded Morse
31:21when he wrote his dictionary.
31:26On September 23rd, 1837,
31:29Vail and Morse
31:29officially entered
31:30into a business partnership.
31:32On October 3rd,
31:33Morse finished
31:33and submitted
31:34his patent caveat
31:35that described his dictionary
31:36he was planning
31:37and it was only after this
31:39that he actually
31:40started writing it.
31:41This description
31:42included signals
31:42for individual letters.
31:44This opens up
31:45an ample window of time
31:47for Vail
31:47to have recommended to him
31:49that he should at least
31:50include the letters
31:51of the alphabet,
31:52even if he couldn't
31:52talk him out
31:53of writing the dictionary.
31:54Relevant question,
31:56why didn't Morse
31:56himself talk himself
31:58out of writing
31:59the dictionary?
32:00Morse recounted
32:01that soon after finishing
32:02the 30,000 word dictionary
32:04he threw it out
32:05upon realizing
32:06the alphabetical code
32:07was far superior
32:08and he argued
32:09that he never
32:10could have come
32:11to that realization
32:12until after he finished
32:13the dictionary
32:14and had some experience
32:15with using it.
32:16That he had
32:17absolutely no way
32:18of knowing
32:19how much worse
32:20of a system
32:20this would be.
32:22Pure common sense
32:23should have told him that.
32:25And if not,
32:26he could have performed
32:26some quick and basic
32:27experiments
32:28before even starting
32:29this dictionary.
32:30Tell you what,
32:30just do this, right?
32:31Just pick out
32:32a hundred word passage
32:33of whatever you want,
32:35clock how long it takes
32:36you to spell it out
32:36letter by letter
32:37in that code,
32:38and then clock how long
32:39it takes you to flip
32:40through a dictionary
32:41and find every individual word.
32:43The latter would take
32:44way longer, for sure.
32:47But by Morse's own account,
32:48it would seem that
32:49simply testing it out,
32:51a really basic component
32:53of project management,
32:54never occurred to him.
32:55Even as he worked
32:57all day and night
32:58writing this thing,
32:59doing this grueling work
33:00by candlelight,
33:01it apparently never
33:02once occurred to him
33:04to stop and ask,
33:06is there an easier way
33:07to do this?
33:08Is there a better way?
33:09Should I at least
33:09set aside half an hour
33:12to try to spell
33:13with that alphabet?
33:14So this is supposed
33:15to be our genius inventor?
33:17This is the guy
33:18who supposedly invented
33:19Morse code,
33:20a system so ingeniously
33:21perfect that it remained
33:22in use decades
33:23after World War II?
33:24This is the guy,
33:25the same guy
33:26who completely
33:27thoughtlessly reserved
33:28the money spots,
33:29the easiest to type signals
33:31for words like
33:31abaft and abashing,
33:34words most people
33:35have never used
33:35in their entire lives?
33:37This is like
33:38if your job was
33:39to design the world's
33:40first keyboard
33:40and the T key
33:41didn't type the letter T,
33:42it typed the word
33:43stegosaurus.
33:44A man who stares at this
33:46every waking hour
33:47for a month
33:48without any of this
33:49occurring to him
33:50is a man lacking
33:51the capacity
33:52for invention
33:52Morse code
33:53would have demanded.
33:54I'm not buying it.
33:56Morse just didn't
33:57have it in him.
34:01The modern counterargument
34:03against Veil having
34:04invented Morse code
34:05appears to largely rest
34:06on a letter Veil
34:07wrote to his father
34:08in 1838.
34:09Within,
34:09he says explicitly
34:10that Morse invented
34:11a new alphanumeric code
34:13to replace his
34:13dictionary system.
34:15Usually,
34:15that would be enough
34:16to settle the matter
34:17but it's important
34:18to remember
34:19that he wrote that
34:20in 1838.
34:22At this time,
34:23Veil and Morse's
34:23partnership was brand new
34:24and forced a distinct
34:26junior-senior dynamic.
34:28Morse was in his late 40s,
34:30Veil was barely 30.
34:31Morse had enjoyed
34:32a decent amount
34:33of renown
34:33from his painting career
34:34before it fizzled out
34:35and was a distinguished
34:36professor at NYU.
34:38Veil was an unknown.
34:39In spite of all his brilliance,
34:41at the time,
34:41he was just some dude.
34:43I think the main reason
34:44Veil entered a contract
34:45that was so favorable
34:46to Morse
34:47was that he recognized
34:48himself as the junior here.
34:51Especially believable
34:51since everything written
34:52about a young Veil
34:53describes him
34:54as a humble,
34:55selfless guy.
34:56But not infinitely so.
34:58Past a point,
34:59Veil realized
35:00he was getting
35:00taken advantage of.
35:02The terms of the partnership
35:03outlined that Veil
35:04was owed a one-eighth
35:05interest in the patent
35:06but after the successful
35:07demonstration in 1844
35:08the catapulted
35:09Morse to fame,
35:11Morse dragged his feet
35:12on actually registering
35:13Veil's share
35:14and he just flat out
35:15wouldn't do it.
35:16This drove Veil up a wall
35:18but his family advised him
35:19to remain on good terms
35:20with Morse.
35:21Veil's family,
35:22speaking of,
35:23had not only bankrolled
35:24the venture in the first place
35:25but continued to cover expenses.
35:27Morse not only took this
35:28for granted
35:29but seemed to throw it
35:30in Veil's face
35:31taking Veil's family's money
35:32to put himself up
35:33in fancy hotels
35:34while Veil himself
35:35stayed at cheap
35:36boarding houses
35:36to save money.
35:38So,
35:38Morse is a known freeloader
35:39which does not really
35:41help his case here.
35:42Morse also used Veil's
35:44family's money
35:44to print invitations
35:45to demonstrations
35:46but while they promoted
35:47Morse,
35:48Veil's name was nowhere
35:49to be seen.
35:50When Morse was invited
35:51to meet with President
35:52Martin Van Buren
35:52he easily could have
35:54invited Veil to come along
35:55but as usual
35:56Morse left him behind
35:57so he could soak up
35:58all the attention.
35:59It's true
35:59that Veil would not be
36:01in this position
36:01without Morse
36:02but on account of Veil's
36:03ingenuity,
36:04tireless work,
36:05master craftsmanship,
36:06and dad's money.
36:07It's equally true
36:08that Morse never
36:09in a million years
36:10would have made it
36:11here without Veil.
36:12And the thing
36:13that burned up Veil
36:14more than anything else
36:15was Morse's insistence
36:17that Veil was not
36:18his collaborator,
36:20not his partner,
36:21not his co-inventor
36:22but his assistant.
36:25Al's my assistant.
36:26He assists me.
36:27Al is my assistant.
36:29He assists me.
36:31I want you to listen to me.
36:32Al is my assistant.
36:33He assists me.
36:35One of Home Improvement's
36:36many running gags
36:37was Tim's complex
36:38about being top banana.
36:39Throughout its entire run,
36:41the show dropped
36:41lots of indications
36:42that Al Borland
36:43was far more popular
36:44among viewers
36:45than Tim the Tool Man Taylor.
36:47Al was far more
36:48inherently personable
36:49and even worse,
36:50he was better
36:51at literally everything.
36:52Steady-handed as a carpenter,
36:54licensed as a crane operator,
36:56thoughtful as a project planner,
36:57he outclassed Tim
36:59in every respect.
37:00And it wasn't
37:01for lack of trying.
37:02Just like Morse
37:03straining by candlelight
37:04trying to pencil together
37:05his endless
37:06and outrageously stupid
37:07code dictionary,
37:08Tim was a relentless tryhard,
37:10getting fewer jokes
37:10to land than Al
37:11despite claiming
37:1290% of the screen time.
37:14In spite of that,
37:15or maybe because of that,
37:16the truth was
37:17that Tim was writing
37:18Al's coattails,
37:20and that always seemed
37:21to get to him.
37:22I'm convinced
37:22that Alfred Vail
37:24deserves the credit
37:25for Morse code,
37:26and that Morse's greatest asset
37:27was his endless energy,
37:29which he expended,
37:30scurrying all over the country
37:32for years
37:32to snuff out the idea
37:33that Vail
37:34was in any way responsible.
37:36And although it's far too late now,
37:38I also think it's fair to argue
37:39that at the bare minimum,
37:41the Morse Telegraph
37:42should have been called
37:43the Morse and Vail Telegraph.
37:45A few years before Vail died,
37:47he wrote a letter
37:48to the renowned lawyer
37:49Amos Kendall.
37:50Of course,
37:50he couldn't claim
37:51any financial compensation
37:52for having developed
37:54the Telegraph
37:54thanks to the contract
37:55he'd signed.
37:56He didn't really care about that.
37:58He didn't even really care
37:59about fame,
38:00writing,
38:01I do not seek renown
38:02for myself.
38:03I care little
38:04for the world's applause,
38:05which at best
38:05is very hard to maintain
38:07even when justly yours,
38:09and given often
38:09where they cannot
38:10and will not discriminate
38:11and justly award.
38:13But what I do desire
38:15is truth.
38:20Samuel Morse died
38:21filthy rich at age 80.
38:22Vail died without much
38:24of anything at age 51.
38:26Years after Vail's passing,
38:27Morse gave a speech
38:28during a celebration
38:29in his own honor.
38:31He briefly mentioned Vail,
38:32but not to give him credit
38:33for any of the work
38:34he did on the Telegraph
38:35and definitely not
38:36for the Code.
38:37All he gave him credit for
38:39was belonging to a family
38:40who could kick him
38:41a little bit of money.
38:43Morse owed so much to Vail,
38:45and if you ask me,
38:46almost everything.
38:47But even after Morse won it all,
38:49deification from historians,
38:51countless statues,
38:52worldwide fame
38:53that would last centuries,
38:54a long life as a rich man,
38:56he still could not find it
38:58within himself
38:58to give Vail
38:59anything close
39:00to the credit he deserved.
39:02Not even a decade
39:03after he'd been buried.
39:04Not even so that his name
39:06might ring out a little bit
39:07to make his family proud.
39:09That is a lot of things,
39:10but more than anything,
39:12it's cruel.
39:13Tim Taylor loved to insult
39:15Al's mom to his face.
39:16He did it all the time.
39:18He especially loved to do it
39:19on TV with Al standing
39:20right there.
39:21Al's mom was established
39:22to be a large woman,
39:23but she was never actually
39:24seen on camera
39:25because if they did that,
39:27Home Improvement as a show
39:28would have to confront
39:28how heartless it could be
39:30at its core.
39:31So instead,
39:32her story was told exclusively
39:33by Tim and his endless
39:34Al's mom fat jokes.
39:36Sometimes the script
39:37set him up for him,
39:38other times they came
39:39totally out of nowhere.
39:41In this scene,
39:42Al and Tim are hanging out
39:43at the hardware store
39:44and they find out
39:44it's for sale.
39:45When Al hears this,
39:46he thinks it might be cool
39:47to buy it.
39:48And I want to stress to you,
39:49that's it.
39:50That is all that's been
39:52going on here.
39:52Al and Tim haven't been
39:53fighting or arguing
39:54or anything.
39:56All right, roll the tape.
39:57I mean, $15,000,
39:59that's a lot of money.
40:01But on the other hand,
40:03it's always been a dream
40:04of mine to own
40:05a hardware store.
40:06It's always also been
40:07a dream of yours
40:08to be able to walk
40:08around your mom
40:09without taking a rest stop.
40:10Whoa, dude.
40:11The sitcom asshole
40:13is a time-honored
40:14institution,
40:15but I can't think
40:15of any other character
40:16who'd say something
40:17like that totally
40:18out of nowhere.
40:19None of these characters
40:20would.
40:21Nobody on
40:21it's always Sonnywood.
40:22Hell, not even
40:23Al Bundywood.
40:25Tim's a uniquely
40:26awful guy,
40:27which stands out
40:27all the more
40:28since it's a family sitcom
40:29and he doesn't have
40:30any partners in crime,
40:31no characters willing
40:32to stoop to where he is.
40:34And unlike Seinfeld
40:35or It's Always Sunny,
40:36where their moral depravity
40:37is the joke,
40:38the joke here actually
40:39is that Al's mom
40:41is heavy.
40:42As though to drive
40:42the point home,
40:43the second to last episode
40:44of the final season,
40:45which is always
40:46the last real finale
40:47of the sitcom
40:48before all the flashbacks
40:49and waterworks start,
40:50is about Al's mom
40:51getting killed off.
40:53Guess what the episode
40:53title is?
40:54Yep.
40:55And guess whether
40:56the show exhibits
40:57any remorse at all
40:58for eight seasons
40:59of kicking around
40:59this poor woman?
41:00Nope.
41:01Ah!
41:01Ah!
41:01Ah!
41:02Ah!
41:02Ah!
41:02Ah!
41:02Ah!
41:03Ah!
41:03Ah!
41:03Ah!
41:04Ah!
41:04Ah!
41:04Ah!
41:04Ah!
41:05Ah!
41:05The only explanation
41:06for a send-off like that
41:07is that the show's
41:09point of view
41:09is Tim Taylor's
41:11point of view.
41:12It's his show,
41:13his world.
41:14He gets to be remembered
41:15as the bumbling jokester,
41:16the lovable sitcom dad.
41:18Despite being a cruel,
41:19hateful scumbag
41:20and loudly and perpetually so,
41:22he's never remembered that way.
41:28I think the historical record
41:30sufficiently reflects
41:31that Samuel F.B. Morse
41:33was an uncreative hack,
41:34a crybaby with an enormous
41:35sense of entitlement,
41:36a freeloader,
41:37a pathetic fame seeker
41:38who coasted on the achievements
41:40of others,
41:40a backstabbing traitor
41:41who shut out his most loyal ally
41:43the second he got a chance,
41:45and if you ask me,
41:46a fraud.
41:47He was also
41:48one of the very most
41:50malignantly racist
41:51public figures
41:52of the 19th century.
41:54Morse's crusade
41:55to bronze himself
41:55as a genius and visionary
41:57was impressively successful.
41:59By public consensus,
42:00he is the father
42:01of Morse code,
42:02and any assertions
42:03to the contrary
42:03have pretty much been
42:04limited to academic circles.
42:07And while recent years
42:08have seen the removal
42:09of statues of confederates
42:10and the like
42:11all over the country,
42:11his statue
42:12still stands in Central Park
42:14with nothing to worry about.
42:16Few people talk about
42:17his 1863 pamphlet
42:18which he titled
42:19An Argument on the Ethical
42:21Position of Slavery
42:22in which he argues
42:23that slavery is a form of freedom,
42:25that slavery is part of God's plan
42:26for how humanity should work,
42:28that God created slavery
42:29as one of the
42:30quote,
42:30great regulators
42:31of human existence.
42:33Few bring up
42:34that he says
42:34black people are
42:35quote,
42:35degraded beings
42:36and quote,
42:37barbarous,
42:37and that slavery is required
42:39for them to find salvation.
42:40This was not some
42:41cold dispassionate
42:42academic diagnosis either.
42:44Samuel F.B. Morse
42:45may as well have been
42:46foaming at the mouth
42:46particularly against
42:47anti-slavery abolitionists
42:49who he called
42:50godless fanaticists
42:51and demons in human shape
42:52and wretched
42:53and disgusting.
42:54Morse left the
42:55know-nothing movement
42:56because they weren't
42:57reliably pro-slavery
42:58enough,
42:59but he did love
43:00their nativist platform
43:01calling immigrant populations
43:02hermaphrodites.
43:04He'd been rabidly
43:05Anglo-supremacist
43:06for quite a while.
43:07Having written this pamphlet,
43:08imminent dangers
43:09to the free institutions
43:10of the United States
43:11through foreign immigration
43:13in which he railed
43:14against the evils of
43:15well, listen,
43:16I already made the mistake
43:16of reading his other pamphlet
43:17so I'm just gonna cut my losses.
43:20All this stuff
43:20is out there in the open
43:22and it takes some work
43:23to sanitize Morse
43:24into someone
43:25who can be celebrated.
43:26One trick,
43:27one I ran into
43:28several times
43:28is to simply say
43:30well,
43:30he was a complex figure.
43:32Supposing he did
43:34invent the telegraph,
43:35okay,
43:35he's the inventor
43:36of the telegraph
43:37and a virulent racist.
43:38That's two things.
43:39If that's your definition
43:40of complex,
43:41the institution
43:42that issued you a PhD
43:43should be sold
43:44and reopened
43:44as a Dave & Buster's.
43:45Another trick,
43:46brushing aside
43:47all his hatefulness
43:48by describing him
43:49as a quote,
43:50product of his time.
43:52It's not a defense
43:53I have any respect for
43:54to begin with,
43:54but if there was
43:55one person in America
43:57for whom you could not use it,
43:59it would be Samuel F.B. Morse.
44:01He was from Massachusetts,
44:02which abolished slavery
44:03well before he was born,
44:04so he did not grow up
44:06in an environment
44:06in which it was normalized.
44:08It was only along
44:09the course of his failed career
44:10as a painter,
44:11God,
44:11they're always failed painters,
44:12aren't they,
44:13that he spent time
44:13in the South
44:14and fell in love
44:15with the institution
44:16of slavery.
44:17Morse was not a product
44:19of a pro-slavery world.
44:21A pro-slavery world
44:22was his product.
44:28As Silverman observes
44:30in Lightning Man,
44:31Morse believed that,
44:31quote,
44:32technology and theology
44:33were two sides
44:34of the same thing,
44:35that what he'd built
44:36was a tool in service of God,
44:38and since slavery
44:39was a sacred commandment
44:40of the God he imagined,
44:41the telegraph would create
44:42and reinforce
44:43a pro-slavery monoculture.
44:45As you've probably
44:46already guessed,
44:47the intentions of those
44:48who oversaw the creation
44:49of this telegraph network
44:50were not exactly magnanimous.
44:52Sure,
44:53the right things
44:53were quite often said.
44:55Before long,
44:56people would triumph
44:56this network
44:57as a tool of unity
44:58that would bring together
44:59everyone on every continent
45:01as siblings
45:02of the great human family.
45:04The mayor of Chicago
45:04called it,
45:05quote,
45:05the great peacemaker
45:06of the age.
45:08The Nashville Tennessean
45:09declared,
45:09quote,
45:10wars are to cease.
45:11The kingdom of peace
45:12will be set up.
45:14What's the timestamp there?
45:161857?
45:16Oh yeah, man.
45:18For sure.
45:19Others,
45:19in all their excitement,
45:20kind of gave the game away,
45:22though.
45:22The American language
45:23will become
45:24the universal language
45:25of civilized nations.
45:26It would join all mankind
45:28in the brotherhood
45:29of Christian love.
45:30We would worship
45:31the same great creator
45:33and ruler.
45:34It was about bending
45:35the world
45:35to the Anglo-American
45:36and Christian ways of living.
45:38Lofty ideas
45:39and flowery language aside,
45:41it was, I mean,
45:42obviously really all
45:43about making the rich richer.
45:44Traders could get more
45:46instant and accurate information
45:47about foreign markets
45:48and crop yields
45:49and the like.
45:50Nations including,
45:51but certainly not limited
45:52to Great Britain,
45:53could use the telegraph
45:54to more closely manage
45:55and maintain their stolen empires.
45:57This telegraph network
45:59was not built
45:59with egalitarian intent
46:01as much as they like
46:02to tell us
46:02that this technology
46:03was all about
46:04making new friends,
46:05ushering in a utopian age
46:06of world peace
46:07and wishing a happy birthday
46:08to Meemaw and Peepaw.
46:10It wasn't.
46:11It wasn't for me
46:12and it wasn't for you.
46:14Or at least,
46:16it wasn't meant to be.
46:17Although it doesn't happen
46:22as often as we wish it would,
46:23evil has a habit
46:24of defeating itself.
46:26By the time
46:27the telegraph network
46:28had built itself out
46:29to this point in 1856,
46:30the issue of slavery
46:31had begun to tear
46:32the Union apart.
46:33This anguished Morse,
46:35who feared the abolition
46:36of his beloved slavery,
46:37but the break
46:38was being greatly exacerbated
46:40by his supposed invention,
46:43the telegraph.
46:44People in the North
46:45had previously read
46:46accounts of slavery
46:47through books and newspapers,
46:48but those were by necessity
46:50stories from weeks,
46:51months, years ago.
46:52There was just something
46:54different about reading
46:55something that took place
46:56yesterday.
46:58The telegraph also allowed
46:59newspapers,
47:00which quickly adopted
47:01the technology,
47:01to report stories
47:02from distant parts of the country
47:04at a greater volume.
47:05Looking on in horror
47:07as the machine
47:07that bore his name
47:08accelerated war
47:09and by extension
47:10the abolition of slavery,
47:12Morse could do nothing
47:13about it
47:13except found a little
47:14pathetic fancy boy society
47:16that nobody cared about.
47:18And once war began,
47:19the North,
47:20which boasted a far more
47:21sophisticated telegraph network
47:23and was quicker to utilize
47:24the technology in the field,
47:26held a substantial advantage
47:27in the telecommunications front.
47:29President Lincoln
47:29was known to occasionally
47:31sleep on a cot
47:32in the telegraph office
47:33next to the White House,
47:34remaining in constant
47:35and instant contact
47:36with his generals.
47:37Lincoln's leadership,
47:38already massively advantageous
47:40to the North,
47:41was greatly amplified
47:42by the telegraph.
47:44The North won
47:45and slavery was abolished
47:46on account of many factors.
47:48One,
47:49was the telegraph.
47:51Morse had been defeated
47:52by the Morse telegraph
47:53and by Morse code.
47:55It was,
47:56despite all his best intentions
47:58and all his kicking and screaming,
48:00a force for good.
48:01Alfred Bale is buried
48:07in Morristown, New Jersey.
48:09One of his sons made sure
48:11his relatively modest gravestone read,
48:13inventor of the dot and dash alphabet.
48:18Samuel F.B. Morse
48:19is buried in Greenwood Cemetery
48:21in Brooklyn
48:21under a towering monument.
48:24A short walk away,
48:25only a couple hundred feet,
48:27you can visit the grave
48:28of Bashar Jackson
48:29that are known
48:30to countless millions
48:31as Pop Smoke.
48:32Not too much further away,
48:34you'll find the grave
48:35of Jean-Michel Basquiat.
48:37These are men
48:38who,
48:39in their tragically short lives,
48:41nonetheless found
48:42widespread acclaim,
48:43not through the achievements
48:44of others,
48:45but through their own
48:46creative genius.
48:47Their artistic talents
48:49were galaxies
48:50beyond Morse's.
48:53And if Morse knew
48:54that he would eternally
48:55share soil with them,
48:56it would have driven him mad.
49:01In part two,
49:02we'll watch as this network
49:03continues to evolve
49:04into the internet
49:05we know today.
49:07A new Al
49:08and a new Tim
49:09will lead us
49:11into the next frontier.
49:12Here.
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