- 10 months ago
Host: Robert Robinson. Team captains: Frank Muir and Arthur Marshall. Guests: Hannah Gordon, Moira Stuart, Charles Dance, Tim Rice.
Category
🎈
FunTranscript
00:00Hello, this is Call My Bluff with the old twister Frank Muir.
00:18Good evening, good evening, good evening.
00:21Now, both my guests are old hands at this game, they are tried bluffists and dispensers
00:29of truisms, and it gives me particular pleasure to introduce my first guest as Hannah Gordon.
00:38And really, I suppose, almost as much pleasure to announce my second guest, Tim Rice.
00:49If I may utter a truism, gamers pheasants, Arthur Marshall.
00:57Good evening.
00:58It's always very jolly and stimulating when we have a newcomer on Call My Bluff, and tonight
01:06we have two.
01:07I sometimes think the BBC has a monopoly of charming news readers, and who could be more
01:14charming than Moira Stewart?
01:16And on my right, so well-remembered for that wonderful performance in The Jewel in the
01:26Crown, Charles Dance.
01:29Right, so the pleasantries being over, the battle commences, and we get the first word.
01:37Good enough one, I should think.
01:38Buggy Shank is the way I pronounce it.
01:40Frank and his team will define Buggy Shank three different ways.
01:43Two of them are no good, duds, but one's all right.
01:47And that's the one that Arthur and co try and pick out.
01:49So, Buggy Shank, Frank.
01:51Buggy Shank.
01:52Buggy Shank.
01:53Oh, I knew it would be.
01:54Buggy Shank.
01:55I'm going to fix my way with a glittering eye.
01:58Buggy Shank is, in fact, a mildly alcoholic drink from the Caribbean, which has one extraordinary
02:08characteristic, a wonderful characteristic.
02:10You can make it for yourself, for nothing.
02:13What you do, what you do, is you get a recently emptied, recently drunk barrel, which has had
02:21rum in it, and you pour in about a quart of water, and you smish it around, and you leave
02:28it for a day or so.
02:31Anybody eat a Buggy Shank?
02:34Well then, now, let's apply to Tim Rice.
02:41Come back with me to the wide open prairies of America in the 19th century, cowboy time,
02:47when there was an awful lot of prairie to be ploughed, and a Buggy Shank was what they
02:52ploughed it with.
02:53It was a very wide horse harrow.
02:56Not a harrow for wide horses, but a harrow that was wide pulled by horses, and sometimes
03:01they would link a lot of horses in tandem, or is it in parallel?
03:06Either way, it's not that interesting, but they would...
03:07In series?
03:08In series.
03:09They would have as many as five horses across, pulling said Buggy Shank, which meant you could
03:14plough 15 yards at once, which was an awful lot of prairie.
03:18Pretty technical stuff.
03:20Yep.
03:21Hannah?
03:22Buggy Shank was a trimming made of white lamb's wool, and it was used on the robes, very rich
03:30robes in medieval times.
03:32In 1464, a citizen of York actually left, bequeathed, a robe trimmed with this particular
03:40fur lamb's wool.
03:42And I would like to quote, because the will was written in Latin, and I would like to quote
03:46what he said in his will.
03:48Thank you for nothing.
03:49It was a pleasure.
03:50Well, they say it's a horse harrow, it's a Caribbean drink, and it's a special sort
04:05of fur trimming, and so Arthur has to make a choice of one of those.
04:09Hold on a tick.
04:11I'd rein myself in, Arthur.
04:14Yes.
04:15We're more or less agreed over here.
04:18Isn't that exciting?
04:20Frank, we had a rum barrel quite recently in this game, but not in sort of connection
04:30of swilling it round with water and making... I didn't quite take to that.
04:35I was nearly taken in, I may have been completely taken in by all that Latin, and 1464, and
04:42lamb's trimming, but on the whole, I think this cowboy harrow, with five horses abreast,
04:50or whatever it was, seems, we think, the most likely.
04:54Ah, right.
04:55Well, it was Tim Rice who said it.
04:57True or blah?
04:58Nothing.
04:59Oh, no, no, no.
05:01Now, you made all that up.
05:05That was all my eye.
05:07Who gave the true definition of buggy shank, boogie shank?
05:10Call it what you will.
05:11Oh, it was.
05:12And indeed, it's the fur that they use for trimming, you know, gowns and such.
05:22Tattoo.
05:23Tattoo.
05:24Yes, is the next one.
05:25Arthur.
05:26The Tattoo is the Red Indian name for a wild American plum tree.
05:36But why Tattoo?
05:38Because it is of such tremendous sweetness that American children refer to it as the toothache
05:45tree, because very often they take a munch of Tattoo, and a cavity, a dainty cavity is discovered,
05:53overlooked by the dentist, and they get a sharp twinge of pain because of the extreme sweetness
05:59of the Tattoo.
06:01All right.
06:02Now, let's see what Charles Dance tells us.
06:04Well, if you're strolling through Devonshire Country Lane on a warm summer afternoon,
06:10you should not be alarmed if you hear the cry,
06:14Tattoo!
06:15Tattoo!
06:16Because it is one of the many cries used by West Country farmers to call cows and sheep
06:21and pigs back to the farm.
06:23However, you might be interested to know that chickens and ducks and geese and all manner
06:28of poultry do not respond to Tattoo.
06:31They only come back if you say,
06:32Come on!
06:33Come on!
06:34Well, they would, wouldn't they?
06:37Yes, Moira, it's your turn.
06:39Let me take you to Southern India.
06:42And it's frequently astride a Tattoo that a Maratha housewife sets about going to her
06:49shopping.
06:50And it's a, a Tattoo is in fact a smallish pony, 12 hands high, bred in Southern India,
06:56which Marathon families use instead of a car.
07:00Right.
07:01This is what they say they are, that the definitions are, a wild plum tree, a little pony,
07:06and the cry of a Devonshire farmer.
07:08And Frank may choose.
07:10Transparently obvious.
07:13I will deal with them one by one, my lord.
07:17Um, a small pony sounds interesting, but, um, or the red Indian plum, do many wild things
07:30grow sweet, very sweet?
07:32I thought they grew bitter more than sweet, as in the apple eclect crab.
07:38I mean, it's a bitter thing.
07:41And the West Country farmer's call is obviously to line up with pig hooey, the call, you remember,
07:47of Lord Emsworth.
07:48Indeed.
07:49Pig hooey.
07:50Um, so we'll go for that, as the West Country cry.
07:54The cry of the West Country farmer, Charles Darne, said it true or bluff?
07:58Not a lot of confidence, but...
07:59Well, let's see.
08:00It's there somewhere.
08:01Yes.
08:02They shout quite different things.
08:05But who gave the true definition of Tattoo?
08:08It was the doctor's talk.
08:09Yes.
08:10Oh, ah.
08:11It's the tiny, useful little pony.
08:12That's what it is.
08:13And, uh, Twiscar is the next word.
08:14Tim.
08:15The Twiscar is an all-purpose almanac of a very primitive kind.
08:19It was a round, circular thing with various lines on it.
08:24A bit of a round, circular thing with various lines on it.
08:27A bit of a round, circular thing with various lines on it.
08:37A bit like a primitive slide rule.
08:40And it was known as such, and at its peak in popularity, if Twiscars and things like that
08:45can be popular, in the time of Henry V, Part I, which would be about the beginning of
08:51the 15th century, I think.
08:53So, it's a navigational aid.
08:55It could do almost anything, but a kind of 15th century almanac.
08:59Right.
09:00So, now it's Hannah's turn.
09:02A Twiscar is that with which a Shetland Islander cuts his peat to make his fires burn.
09:09And it's a kind of spade, in other words.
09:12And it's an L-shaped spade, so that when he cuts into the peat, he can cut beautifully
09:17brick-shaped chunks of peat, so that he can pile them up outside his house all nice and tidy.
09:23Twiscar.
09:24Mm-hmm.
09:25Now, Frank.
09:26If any of you have got a degree in Pakistani metallurgy, I'm a dead duck.
09:35Because you know instantly whether what I'm saying is true or false.
09:40Because I say that Twiscar is one of those sort of rather phony alloys, like pinchbeck.
09:47Whereas pinchbeck, in England, was meant to look like gold, Twiscar is meant to look like
09:53silver.
09:54And it's an alloy of tin and zinc, which the Pakistani metal beaters make into rather boring
10:02artifacts, and sell back to us things like little perforated boxes to keep sweetmeats in,
10:09and coffin handles, and tea caddies, and earrings.
10:16I can go on for quite a long time.
10:17Oh, thank you, Frank.
10:19A genteel sufficiency there, Frank, thank you.
10:22So, it's an alloy used for making these soi-disant ornamental things.
10:27An almanac and a peat cutter.
10:30Charles, his choice.
10:33Just a minute.
10:38These mock conferences.
10:41Right.
10:42I shall dismiss Frank's silver-like alloy used for rather strange objects.
10:47Sisu!
10:48I'm afraid so.
10:51And Hannah's peat cutter.
10:54I'm not too sure about.
10:57And I think I'm going to go for Tim's 15th century almanac or navigational aid.
11:07Yes, he did say that.
11:09True or bluff?
11:10Tim Rice.
11:11Own up.
11:12Yes.
11:17Just pulling your leg there.
11:18Who gave the true definition of twist scar?
11:21Must be one of the others.
11:23There it is.
11:24A twist scar is a peat cutter.
11:31That's what it is.
11:33And the next word is scoof, and Charles Dance will tell you about it.
11:37Not many people know this, but corn merchants grade husks of corn into three different grades of quality.
11:46The finest quality is pollard, the second quality is scoof, and the third rough quality of husk is called shorts and sharps.
12:00And you wouldn't find that in your breakfast muesli, I hope.
12:03You find everything else.
12:07How pretty true.
12:08Sweeping for stable.
12:09Oh, how pretty true.
12:10Yes.
12:11Moira, your turn.
12:12A scoof is a circular tarpaulin with a hole in the middle.
12:17And it's used by trawlermen.
12:19They spread it, by the way, over the upper deck, over the hatch and the upper deck.
12:24And it's used by them to channel stranded fish down the hole into the hatch.
12:32Oh, good idea.
12:33Yes.
12:34And now, Arturo, your go.
12:37A scoof was a primitive racket used in the game of tennis.
12:43How so, you ask, I explain.
12:46Not tennis as played at Wimbledon, but the real tennis as played by Cardinal Woolsey at Hampton Court.
12:54When you think of racket, a scoof really is rather more of a wooden bat, rather like a large ping pong bat, really.
13:04Okay, it's a tennis racket, allegedly.
13:08Second class of corn husk and a tarpaulin with a hole in the middle for fish purposes.
13:15So, Tim, your choice.
13:20We are unanimous in that none of us have a clue.
13:23I have once played real tennis, not with Cardinal Woolsey or whoever it was you mentioned, but at Lord's Cricket Ground.
13:31And I don't remember playing with a scoof, but it was a long time ago.
13:36I remember the score, but I can't remember what I played with.
13:38But I don't think it's a real tennis implement.
13:42I think neither is it a fish-catching thing.
13:47It's too like scoop.
13:49I will go for Charles's load of corn.
13:52Load of corn?
13:53Was it a load of corn or was it not?
13:55He owns up now.
13:56True or bluff?
13:59No.
14:05Load of corn, in a sense, but not the true one.
14:07Who gave the true definition?
14:09It's there somewhere, I know, dear.
14:12There.
14:16After you produced it as though you were striking like a cobra there.
14:20But yes, indeed.
14:21You're right, it's a tennis racket used in real tennis or royal tennis.
14:27Solando is our next word, and Hannah, it's your turn.
14:31So, or S-O, was the name given by the Vikings to the North Atlantic island,
14:36which later became known as Greenland.
14:38So, in other words, Solanders were people from Greenland.
14:41Greenlanders.
14:43Solander.
14:44Neat as you please, yes.
14:46Frank Muir's turn.
14:47I thought of going on a bit, rather.
14:50A duvet could be Solander, but it isn't.
14:56Because Solander is like a duvet or an eiderdown,
15:01except that it's not filled with down plumped from the back of an eider,
15:07or from its tummy, wherever you get it from.
15:10But it's filled with goose feathers.
15:12And it comes in Old Curiosity Shop by Charles Dickens.
15:16By whom?
15:17It's a novelist called Charles Dickens.
15:18And Little Nell, you will recall, Arthur, you should.
15:19Yes.
15:20Little Nell wrapped herself in a solander, or solander,
15:21while she was awaiting her near apostrophe do well and spendthrift brother Fred.
15:25Could I have that name again?
15:26Yes.
15:27He had a sort of temporary vogue, Arthur, you know, did Dickens.
15:30Now, Tim.
15:31The botanists among you will instantly realise that a solander is something that you put your specimens in after a nature ramble.
15:44Um, you couldn't take home a redwood tree as a tree, was i-y, I-y.
15:49Partanists among you will instantly realise that a solander is something that you put your specimens in after a nature ramble.
15:58you couldn't take home a redwood tree in it
16:01because it's a fairly small box,
16:03rather delicately designed to look like a book.
16:06And it was called a Solander
16:07after the famous Swedish botanist Solander.
16:11His first name escapes me.
16:13But he died in 1782
16:16and therefore wound up in a little box of his own.
16:20Oh, yes, yes.
16:22Amusing touches always welcome.
16:24I like it, yes.
16:25The hint of the inverted comma,
16:27always welcome, as you say, Frank.
16:28Well, it's a little tiny box used by botanists.
16:31It's a sort of ida dam, but it's not made out of the ida.
16:34And it's a Greenlander, an inhabitant of Greenland.
16:37Moira's choice.
16:40My girl, I'm...
16:43It's up to you.
16:45Frank, I think you're leading me astray.
16:47I'm very, very taken with your goose quilt.
16:49Woodless.
16:49However, Hannah's Greenlanders
16:55strike somewhat truly, yes.
16:59Tim, your botanist box, definitely.
17:02No, if it's not big enough for a redwood tree,
17:04definitely not interested.
17:05So I shall plump for Frank.
17:08And it's going to be so apt.
17:12That she said plump for an ida dam.
17:14Well, that's...
17:15True or bluff, Frank?
17:16If a woman's so devious.
17:20Looks pleased.
17:21That was all my eye again.
17:28Who gave the true definition?
17:30Here it comes.
17:33Yay, Verity.
17:38Little tiny box, botanist,
17:40keeps specimens within.
17:42Now we have, well,
17:44bulgine, bulgine.
17:46I have no real idea.
17:48Moira.
17:49It's in fact a bulgine,
17:50which, like Puffer or Puffing Billy,
17:54is the nickname for a steam locomotive,
17:57the sort of train which nowadays, alas,
17:59we do not see on our railways.
18:01It's an American term,
18:03and there's an old American folk song
18:05which I will not sing.
18:07The opening lines begin,
18:09clear the track,
18:10the bulgines are coming.
18:13Oh, good luck.
18:16If you'd have been Frank,
18:17you'd have sung it,
18:18but then, happily,
18:20you are not.
18:21But now it's Arthur's turn.
18:22Yep.
18:23The correct pronunciation of this,
18:26and I'm going to try and get it right,
18:27is bulgine.
18:30Can you tell what country I'm in?
18:32Mongolia.
18:36Bulgine.
18:37You must get it.
18:38Australia.
18:39Oh, never.
18:41Oh, never.
18:41Because bulgine is a suburb of Melbourne,
18:48and it's famous for having very, very fine earth soil,
18:53which is much in demand for cricket pitches.
18:56But I'm sorry to tell you
18:58that the soil gets very soggy when it rains,
19:02and it's due to an excess of bulgine on the pitch
19:06that we lost the second test match in 1950.
19:12How well Arthur realises that accents like garlic
19:16should be used sparingly,
19:17and he did.
19:18What an example to all of us.
19:20Charles, your turn.
19:21Right.
19:23Bulgine are, in fact, a nomadic tribe
19:26who roam around the area between the Nile and the Red Sea.
19:29They're believed to be of hermatic origin,
19:32and they were immortalised by Kipling as fuzzy-wuzzies
19:35after they made so bold as to break a British square
19:38at the Battle of Tammai in 1884.
19:43Right.
19:43They say, then,
19:45that these definitions are as follows.
19:47We have the nomadic tribe,
19:49the special sort of soil,
19:51and the steam locomotive.
19:53And Hannah makes her choice.
19:56I'm going to start with Arthur,
19:57because I thought his Australian accent was so good
20:00that it should be him if we started with.
20:01Thank you, dear.
20:03The test match in 1950.
20:07Well, I'd like to think about that for the moment.
20:11Charles' fuzzy-wuzzies.
20:14No, I don't think it's that,
20:16so I'm just going to say no and move on.
20:18Now, I saw Stardust Express quite recently,
20:21and I don't remember any steam trains and that
20:24with a name like Boulgini or Boulgini.
20:26So I think, after all is said and done,
20:30it was Arthur.
20:32With his hint of the Australian.
20:34Was it true, or was it bluff, Arthur?
20:36He wouldn't lie to you.
20:37Oh, he wouldn't, would he?
20:37Oh, yes.
20:38LAUGHTER
20:39Beware, Arthur, when he adopts an accent, I suspect.
20:46Who gave the true definition?
20:47We need to know the true definition of Boulgini.
20:52Yay.
20:53APPLAUSE
20:54Boulgini or Boulgini certainly was, or is,
21:00well, it can't be is, can it?
21:01No, was a steam locomotive.
21:03Let's have a look at another word,
21:05trumbash.
21:06Or trumbash?
21:07Don't know.
21:07Frank?
21:08In the British Merchant Service,
21:11you get a lot of rubbish on board.
21:15I don't mean just passengers.
21:17I mean, a ship, the life of a ship
21:20generates a certain amount of rubbish.
21:22And when it's food, it's usually called gash,
21:24and there's a gash bucket.
21:26And when it's not food, but old rope-ins
21:29or retired captains or something,
21:33then it's called ullage.
21:34But in the American Merchant Navy,
21:40trumbash.
21:42That's your word.
21:45If so, we generate a certain amount of trumbash
21:47on this programme, I think everyone would agree.
21:49Tim, your turn.
21:51Well, trumbash is the kind of thing
21:54you don't want to meet in a hurry,
21:57or at least if the trumbash is in a hurry,
21:59because it's a particularly vicious kind of boomerang,
22:02not the sort of boomerang
22:03that Charlie Drake immortalised
22:05in his 1960 hit record,
22:07My Boomerang Won't Come Back,
22:08because that was an Australian boomerang.
22:10This is a Sudanese boomerang,
22:12and it was hurled viciously
22:14by militia men from the Sudan,
22:17and if it hit you, you knew about it.
22:21Right.
22:22So, let's ask Hannah Gordon, then.
22:24Well, in the private language of thieves and vagabonds
22:27in the 18th century,
22:29trumbash was the accepted word
22:31for stolen or contraband silk,
22:33and the word is presumed to come originally
22:36from the Persian place name,
22:39which was Tarumbasha,
22:41which was a coastal town in the Gulf of Oman,
22:43where a lot of silk was exported
22:45to other places from.
22:47I think they say it's this kind of contraband
22:51or stolen silk.
22:52It's a vicious boomerang,
22:55and it's rubbish on ships,
22:57and Arthur makes his choice.
23:02Arthur, the man's safe.
23:04Yes, it's two to one over here.
23:1218th century stolen silk
23:15with that Persian town.
23:17It doesn't sound...
23:19The special name for stolen silk
23:21sounds awfully peculiar and strange.
23:24This Sudanese boomerang
23:26sounded perfectly awful,
23:29and of course it could be it,
23:31but on the whole,
23:32dear old Frank's ullage,
23:36American ship's ullage,
23:39trumbash,
23:40I think it's Frank.
23:42Really?
23:43Is it Frank?
23:44True or bluff?
23:46Frank, you said it.
23:48We will.
23:55Ah, no, no, no.
23:57Who gave the true definition of trumbash?
24:00Someone did.
24:00Oh, it was.
24:04Well done.
24:08Yes, trumbash is indeed
24:11that rather vicious...
24:12Let's have another word.
24:15Mini is the next word.
24:17Arthur's turn to define.
24:18Mini.
24:19Mini,
24:20forgive me,
24:22mini
24:22is what one might call
24:24a rogue marble
24:26at the game of marbles.
24:31That is to say,
24:32it's a marble
24:33that is not perfectly spherical
24:35and bounces and hops about
24:37in the most unpredictable manner.
24:40A rogue marble.
24:42A rogue marble, you say?
24:44Let's see what Charles Dance tells us.
24:47Well,
24:47to many is a North Country
24:48pastoral verb
24:50to describe the act of motherly love
24:52given by a sheep
24:53to her poor little lamb.
24:55So if you were a little lamb
24:57in a cold, windy field
24:59in Yorkshire,
25:00your mother might say to you,
25:02don't sit there
25:02bleating on your own,
25:04come and have a mini.
25:07I just feel you're entitled
25:09to do an accent, Charles.
25:10I just feel that.
25:12Moira, it's your go.
25:13But a mini with a capital M
25:15is, as I'm sure you've guessed,
25:17an American nickname
25:18for someone born and bred
25:20in the northern state of Minnesota.
25:22And I'm reliably informed
25:23that back in 1928,
25:25there were 18,728,802 minis
25:31in Minnesota.
25:33They say it is a misshapen marble,
25:36a native of Minnesota
25:38and of a ewe motherly.
25:41Motherly of a ewe.
25:43Yes, Frank.
25:44Oh, yes, very interesting.
25:45Very fascinating.
25:47Now, right.
25:49Now hear me.
25:49Now hear this.
25:51The population of America
25:54is only 100 million.
25:55Was that?
25:56If you'll hurry up,
25:57we might get another word in.
25:58I don't know whether you want one.
26:00But I know what a sport you are.
26:02Your figure was too high
26:03for the population of Minnesota.
26:05Rogue marbles you wouldn't play with.
26:06You'd throw away, surely.
26:08So it must be the sheep.
26:10Mini-ha-ha.
26:11A funny word.
26:11Well, Charles said that.
26:13True or bluff, Charles?
26:15Own up.
26:19Well done.
26:24It means the display of motherly affection
26:27given by the ewe to her young.
26:30Now, this is our last word.
26:32It's bibbles.
26:33And it's Tim's comfortable time to do it in.
26:36Oh, really?
26:37Well, comfortable.
26:38You're wasting it already.
26:39Well, apples is what bibbles is or are.
26:43They're rather grotty apples
26:45that aren't really worth picking up off of the ground.
26:47So they are just scooped up or left for pigs.
26:51Right.
26:52Hannah.
26:53It's the sort of heebie-jeebies that you get,
26:55well, that one might get when you drink too much
26:58and the sort of apparitions and strange manifestations
27:00that you might see when you had drunk a great deal.
27:03Bibbles.
27:04Right.
27:05Now it's frankly yours.
27:06Go.
27:06Coal miners' term for strata of clay
27:11which probably contain water.
27:15Not good.
27:16Yeah.
27:17So it's imaginary thingies,
27:19you might see if you were drunk,
27:20impervious stratum of clay full of water
27:23and tiny little apples not worth picking up.
27:26So Charles' choice.
27:31I think it's Tim's grotty apples.
27:34How very decisive.
27:35Was it true, though, Tim?
27:37Or were you teasing?
27:38No.
27:39Oh, yeah.
27:40It was certainly a teedle.
27:43It wasn't anything to do with apples.
27:46It was to do with one of the other definitions.
27:48But which?
27:49Here it comes.
27:52Mine.
27:52Yeah.
27:57It is the impervious stratum of clay
28:00of which Frank so glowingly spoke.
28:02And there, well,
28:04we've come to the end of the game.
28:063-6.
28:07It's quite clear
28:08that Frank Muir's team has won.
28:17Spare.
28:18Spare a kindly glance to the losers.
28:20There they are.
28:21Don't.
28:22Don't.
28:23So we'll have some more duds
28:28from the Oxford English Dictionary next time.
28:30Till then,
28:31and goodbye from Tim Rice,
28:32Charles Barnes,
28:36Hannah Gordon,
28:40Maurice Kirt,
28:42Frank Muir,
28:43and Arthur Marshall.
28:47Goodbye.
28:48Goodbye.