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Rob and Romesh Vs Season 8 Episode 1
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#Rob and Romesh
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00:00Rob and I are back.
00:02It looks a bit like you're my guide.
00:05Throwing ourselves into the biggest challenges.
00:08Check, check, check.
00:10With the help of the world's best.
00:12You still own the office.
00:16Together we're going on a journey of discovery.
00:18No, no, no.
00:20To find out what we like.
00:22Oh wow, Rob, that's amazing.
00:24And what we don't.
00:26This film's like it's all gonna come out.
00:28This week, we're heading to Mumbai.
00:32Relax, relax, relax.
00:34Home to one of the world's biggest film industries.
00:36Bollywood.
00:38We'll be getting help from some of its biggest stars.
00:41Have you ever seen anybody that looks like this in a Bollywood feature?
00:44No.
00:45As we try to earn roles in a blockbuster Bollywood movie.
00:58So here we are, Rob.
00:59Mumbai.
01:00Oh, wow.
01:01It's quite overwhelming, isn't it?
01:03Oh my God, it's so close.
01:05Oh, it really crashed.
01:07Right, relax, relax, relax.
01:09It's my first time in India.
01:11I'd say there's a lot to take in, Rob.
01:14Yeah.
01:15It's an unusual decision to dress as the Empire.
01:19When you've done it.
01:21It looks a bit like you're my guide.
01:24You've been here before.
01:28Any tips you'd give me to blend in?
01:30I've been here once.
01:31It lasted more than once.
01:33Why?
01:36TV work.
01:37Right.
01:38Why did you pause?
01:42Also, Rob, I'm a bit worried.
01:43Yeah, go on.
01:44I've had a bit of an upset for stomach.
01:47Since you've got it?
01:48No, before I got it.
01:49Did you have like a warm-up curry before you came?
01:51No, no.
01:52I actually had a cheese and pickle sandwich before I left.
01:54Do you know what?
01:57I could imagine how this went.
01:59Lou, go to India tomorrow.
02:01Can I have the whitest thing in the world?
02:03I did.
02:05Fill me up with bread and dairy, babe.
02:07I'm off to India.
02:13Bollywood.
02:14Yeah.
02:15Ideal scenario is, Rom,
02:16to complete this mission we get a part in a Bollywood movie.
02:18That's got to be the aim, yeah?
02:20Yeah.
02:21I know this sounds weird,
02:22but I think you've got a better chance of that than I have.
02:25Really?
02:26Because you've got like more of a unique look.
02:28I do feel like this is the show I get cancelled on.
02:30Yeah.
02:31Me attempting Bollywood.
02:32The only thing I would say is,
02:34like on TikTok, which is banned over here,
02:36every time you see like a white guy who turns up to an Indian wedding.
02:40Yeah.
02:41And like nails a dance or whatever,
02:42it goes viral.
02:43Yeah.
02:44Yeah.
02:45I think if you manage to get over doing something cultural,
02:48I think, I genuinely, I'm not just saying this.
02:50Yeah.
02:51I think you could be a megastar over here.
02:53I honestly believe that.
02:54Bollywood is one of the world's biggest film industries.
03:00Famed for its big dance numbers and incredible action sequences.
03:04If we had any chance of making it here, we desperately needed some help.
03:08So we tracked down the perfect person to get us on our way.
03:13A Bollywood star who's gone on to break Hollywood.
03:17Ali Fasau.
03:18From his breakout comedy performance in Bollywood classic, Fukri,
03:22to taking on full throttle blockbuster action in Fast and Furious 7.
03:26240 miles per hour, top speed.
03:29And it's bulletproof.
03:31Ali's range made him the guy to help us on our mission.
03:35We were dropping in on him during a photo shoot to pick his brains on all things Bollywood.
03:40Hi, Rob, nice to be here.
03:41Hi, yes.
03:42Hi, my gosh.
03:43How's it going?
03:44You all right?
03:45Oh, you look at this guy.
03:46You look great.
03:47Basically, we're trying to, one, find out about Bollywood as a phenomenon,
03:51and two, get a part in something.
03:53Yeah.
03:54And the truth is, have you ever seen anybody that looks like this in a Bollywood feature?
03:59No.
04:00What?
04:01What do you mean?
04:02It's unique.
04:03Really?
04:04I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
04:05I mean, no.
04:06Anybody can become an actor, anybody can, like, enter Bollywood.
04:08It's diverse.
04:09So what's the main differences you've done both between Hollywood and Bollywood, would you say?
04:13What's the big difference?
04:14Well, I mean the economics, I think.
04:17Which one's better?
04:20Which one pays more?
04:21Well, I mean, the English side.
04:23Yeah.
04:24Seriously?
04:25Especially, like, Bollywood sets, the ones with the songs, 500 dancers.
04:28It gets really crazy on a set, right?
04:30You've got to be really, really, like, zen inside.
04:33So it's going to be overwhelming and hectic, so we've got to try and be as calm as possible.
04:36It can be, especially because you're white, so you're going to be a minority.
04:39Yeah.
04:40But I do like attention.
04:41You know what?
04:42You should be in front of the camera and, like, step one, I think, would be to just get photos.
04:46Okay.
04:47And we take it from there.
04:48So, Ali was going to help us out and let us use his team to get a portfolio of headshots.
04:53Just like the biggest Bollywood stars, we were getting a lookbook for Ali to send to Mumbai's biggest casting agents.
05:00Part of becoming an actor in any industry is you've got to have a portfolio done so you can go for castings and stuff like that.
05:05Yeah, very nice.
05:06Yeah, yeah, we like a bit of that.
05:07So good.
05:08I genuinely am quite excited about bringing Rob Beckett to Bollywood.
05:13If we can overcome Rob's inability to dance, his complete inability to connect with any kind of music, and also teach him Hindi, I genuinely think this guy could be massive.
05:24But it was clear that Rob had a long way to go.
05:27Wow.
05:28Are you real?
05:30What does wow mean over here?
05:33Luckily for me, Ali had brought along Bollywood costume designer Rick Roy to help style us.
05:39This is Rick.
05:40Hi.
05:41I think, I mean, we need a lot of help.
05:42Yes.
05:43And maybe we can, like, spice things up.
05:44Yes.
05:45So I think Copverse is really, really big in Bollywood.
05:48Yeah.
05:49Like, every actor who's, like, trying to make it big, they always do a cop film.
05:53Okay, a cop film.
05:54So, Copverse.
05:55I mean, that's what I'm calling it.
05:57Right, okay.
05:58Copverse is one of Bollywood's biggest film franchises.
06:02And this was the first look Rick was about to try on us.
06:05We have options of names, whatever you're, like, kind of feeling it.
06:08Anyone's that say Paul?
06:09Uh, Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:10Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:11I think I'm more of a Rajiv.
06:12It could be Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:13Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:14I'm more of a Rajiv Kumar Singh to me.
06:15Do you get many sort of white cops from South East London in the Indian police force?
06:20Oh, not really.
06:21No.
06:22No.
06:23But I'm not.
06:24I'm an actor and I'm Rajiv Kumar Singh.
06:26Yeah.
06:27One important part of the copverse is to have a moustache only and no beard.
06:33Because cops don't have beard.
06:35Cops don't have beard.
06:36Shave your fuzz and come back with just a moustache because it's very macho to have a moustache.
06:43We were a cutthroat shave away from entering the copverse.
06:46Yeah, I'm ready.
06:47Yeah, yeah.
06:48Perfect.
06:49And this was already feeling like a bad idea.
06:52You seem quite nervous.
06:53Yeah.
06:54What I'm nervous about is just looking like a Tamil guy from some exotic, erotic movie from the 70s.
07:01Rob, on the other hand, with a moustache, I predict unacceptable.
07:06The beards were gone in minutes, but we hadn't dared look in the mirror and the moment of truth arrived.
07:12Right, you ready?
07:13Three, two, one.
07:14Oh, my God.
07:15Whoa.
07:16Whoa.
07:17Whoa.
07:18Whoa.
07:19Oh, my God.
07:21Why is your cheek so pale?
07:26Rob, Rob, I'm not being funny.
07:27I'm not taking any banter from you about how I look.
07:30Well, I...
07:31You genuinely look like you've got something buried under your patio.
07:34I look like a hard man from the 70s in a football team.
07:36You look like a fucking serial killer.
07:38Let's see what you start with the glasses.
07:40That's got a lot worse.
07:43Oh, my God.
07:44I look like a fucking Asian Albert Einstein.
07:47Oh, mine's horrible.
07:48I look like Alpesh Einstein.
07:53It was hard to imagine anyone casting us looking like this, but we were only halfway there with
08:02our cop-verse look.
08:03Here, this is your shirt.
08:05How are you looking, Rob?
08:06I look mental.
08:07These trousers.
08:08I look like they've been painted on.
08:10It was a tight fit, but we were finally ready to reveal our outfits.
08:14Let's see the big reveal.
08:16Ta-da!
08:17Fabulous.
08:18What do you think?
08:19I don't know what to say.
08:20Do you think he looks okay?
08:21Because he looks like he needs a copy of Mein Kampf.
08:23You must have.
08:24Have you got any biggest trousers?
08:25He looks like one of the biggest defenders of the Aryan race I've ever seen in my life.
08:28Look, I don't think Rob Beckett is an unattractive man.
08:30He's a good looking guy.
08:31With a moustache, he looks horrible.
08:32Like horrible.
08:33Like horrible!
08:53Glasses off you reckon?
08:54I think glasses off for everyone that sees you.
09:02Some look camp.
09:03Some look like paedophiles.
09:06I'm a paedophile.
09:07Well, no, I'm not, but I look like I'm the paedophile option.
09:11Despite feeling more like a criminal than a cop,
09:13it was time for us to get in front of the camera
09:15and try to sell ourselves as serious Bollywood actors.
09:19OK, you've got to be intimidated.
09:20Come on, Rob.
09:21Very nice, sir.
09:22Very good.
09:24Yeah.
09:24Fabulous.
09:25Gangster cop.
09:26Oh, wow, Rob, that's amazing.
09:28Rom had smashed his photo shoot, and now it was my turn.
09:32But if I was to stand any chance of getting a role in Bollywood,
09:35I was going to have to put aside all the obvious problems
09:37and get into character.
09:39I am Rajesh Kumar Singh.
09:43But despite his best efforts, Rob wasn't fooling anyone.
09:48Rob is supposed to be playing Rajiv Kumar Singh.
09:53The camera guy couldn't keep a straight face.
09:56He looks like somebody that moved to Tyre
09:59and under mysterious circumstances.
10:02With a load of headshots already in the bag,
10:07Rick and Ali had one last look for our portfolios,
10:09the traditional romantic lead.
10:12So it's basically a multi-purpose outfit in Bollywood.
10:15You can do this look for, like, celebrations,
10:18you can do it for weddings.
10:19It's all over.
10:20This is why.
10:21This is it.
10:21I don't think this is OK.
10:24OK, guys, come out.
10:25Let's see what your looks are looking like.
10:30Ooh.
10:33Yeah.
10:34I love it.
10:35Also.
10:35Yep.
10:36Yep.
10:36Perfect.
10:37I'll be honest with you.
10:40I'm not sure what I've got on is all right.
10:43See, now I just feel like...
10:45Like what?
10:47I don't know.
10:48It just looks strange, doesn't it?
10:50Look, Rob looks sensational.
10:52The colour they gave him really suits his skin tone.
10:55He looks unbelievable.
10:56Ramesh arrives with praise.
10:58I arrive with questions.
11:00Do you know what he looks like?
11:01He looks like he's doing five weeks in Worthing for the panto.
11:05OK, let's get you in.
11:07So how should we be posing?
11:09Is it like...
11:09Yes.
11:11Could Rob be a romantic lead?
11:13Yes.
11:14If the other character in the relationship was an animal.
11:18Very nice.
11:20There you go.
11:21Have you ever done a white guy before?
11:23Not this fight.
11:24Romantic leads still felt like a long shot for Rob.
11:28But with Rick and Ali's help,
11:30we'd managed to complete our portfolios
11:32and were one step closer to breaking into Bollywood.
11:35Oh, my God.
11:44Yeah, I think the pictures are done.
11:46That's nice.
11:47That's a good one.
11:48And do you think we've got any potential?
11:49I think so.
11:50We'll edit them a little and send them to the producers.
11:52Why don't you focus on acting lessons?
11:54Yeah, we're up for that, aren't we?
11:55Yeah.
11:56That'll help, I think.
11:57All right.
11:58Well, look, we'll do that.
11:59But seriously, best of luck.
12:00Great.
12:01Thanks.
12:01Thanks.
12:02All right.
12:02We'll be in touch.
12:02Thanks, man.
12:03Thank you very much.
12:03Thanks so much.
12:09Rom and I are on a mission to break into Bollywood.
12:11After learning the tricks of the trade
12:14from Bollywood star Ali Fazal,
12:16Oh, my God.
12:17We now look the part
12:19and we were ready to up our game.
12:21Why don't you focus on acting lessons?
12:23Yeah, we're up for that, aren't we?
12:24Yeah.
12:26But as we set off from the gateway of India
12:28for a spot of sightseeing before school tomorrow,
12:31something was on my mind.
12:32Right, so we've done our photo shoot stuff
12:35with the moustache.
12:37Are we keeping this then
12:38for the rest of the Bollywood adventure?
12:40I think we sort of have to.
12:41Yeah, we can't go back now.
12:42I can't go clean shaven.
12:43All clean shaven for me is worse.
12:45For me, same.
12:45I think for the rest of this trip, certainly,
12:47we're the Tash Bros.
12:49But I think if I'm super confident,
12:50people won't question it.
12:52So it's like,
12:52Oh, you've got a moustache.
12:53Yeah.
12:54Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.
12:55That feels quite defensive.
12:57Confident.
12:57No, not confident.
12:58Sexy.
12:59No.
12:59Powerful.
12:59No, it feels like you've got a chip
13:01on your shoulder about it.
13:02OK, we've just met each other.
13:03Put your hand there.
13:04Rob, nice to meet you.
13:04Hey, man.
13:05Oh, you've got a Tash too?
13:06Yeah, I have.
13:07I like it.
13:07OK, yeah, I like yours as well.
13:09Thanks.
13:10I don't like that.
13:11No?
13:12No.
13:13Why not?
13:13How about this?
13:14Oh, you're a sex offender as well?
13:23To kickstart our acting ambitions,
13:25the next day we headed into
13:26one of India's top drama schools.
13:29Actor Prepares Academy in Mumbai,
13:30founded by Bollywood icon,
13:33Anupam Kerr.
13:35With a career spanning
13:35over four decades
13:37in acclaimed roles
13:38ranging from Bollywood dad
13:39in Dilwalia Dulhania Lajiange.
13:41I am proud of you, my son.
13:43To therapy guru
13:44in the Oscar-winning
13:45Silver Linings playbook,
13:47Anupam's an absolute giant
13:49of world cinema.
13:51Hello.
13:51Hi.
13:52Hi.
13:52Hi.
13:52And with his school's track record
13:54of producing some of India's finest actors,
13:56it was the perfect place
13:58to help us
13:58on our Bollywood journey.
14:00So when did you start the academy?
14:02About 20 years back.
14:04Our tagline is
14:05we bring out the actor in you.
14:07Well, that's one of the problems
14:08that we've got, I think,
14:09if I can speak on behalf of Bollywood.
14:10Yes.
14:10We're quite inhibited.
14:13Musical-wise,
14:14that's probably our biggest obstacle.
14:16Yeah, that's going to...
14:16We don't really...
14:17Obstacle?
14:17Obstacle, yeah.
14:18I can't dance.
14:19Okay.
14:20You can't dance?
14:20No.
14:21You've done 500 films?
14:22Yeah, I've danced.
14:23So I go speak to the choreographer
14:25and I say,
14:26either the camera should be on my feet
14:28or on my face.
14:30Never at the same time?
14:31Never in the body.
14:33So it will be face will be doing...
14:35And the feet will be doing...
14:36But together,
14:37it will be so difficult.
14:39So as long as you get one?
14:40Yeah.
14:41Yeah, that is a great tip.
14:43That is a great tip.
14:44That's brilliant.
14:45I think the moment you
14:47do not worry about
14:48making a fool of yourself,
14:50you can act.
14:51Yeah.
14:51Okay.
14:52Especially in today's time,
14:53you don't want to be a fool.
14:54So you do a balanced acting
14:55where you do not look stupid
14:57and you cannot act brilliantly.
15:00Right.
15:00So you are competent
15:01and I think competence
15:02is the biggest enemy of brilliance.
15:05Oh, yes, I love this.
15:06This is so good.
15:07What about us?
15:08Because obviously...
15:09Yeah, do you think our faces
15:10are assets?
15:10I think you look very good
15:11for a lot of roles.
15:12Even me?
15:13Because obviously,
15:14Bollywood...
15:15I would like to say, yeah.
15:16Yeah.
15:17Really?
15:17So, yeah.
15:18You can be a curious man
15:20who is always curious
15:22to find out.
15:23So a curious man...
15:24A man who will hide behind a tree
15:25and sort of will check out...
15:26Like a pervert.
15:27Sorry?
15:28Like a pervert.
15:28Sort of like a pervert.
15:29Yeah.
15:30We can train you.
15:31In five minutes,
15:32I can make you feel
15:33that you can act.
15:34Really?
15:34Yeah.
15:35Well, listen,
15:36we are open to learning.
15:37And I'll just be free
15:38and go for it
15:39and have no fear.
15:40Is that right?
15:41I think you should be ready
15:42to make it full of yourself.
15:44You can become a good actor.
15:45Okay, okay.
15:46So, to help us loosen up
15:49and lose our inhibitions,
15:51Anupam was teaming us up
15:52with his senior acting coach,
15:54Paresh Parekh.
15:55Yeah, so let's...
15:57Let's begin with the first lesson
16:01of the day.
16:01It's voice work.
16:03Okay.
16:04Voice work, ready?
16:05Yeah.
16:05So, just talk about something.
16:08Um...
16:09Have you spoken to Lisa
16:10and the kids?
16:11Yeah.
16:13Theo's not very happy
16:13with the moustache.
16:15You sort of said
16:15that you haven't really done
16:16that to your face.
16:16Okay, fine.
16:17So, uh...
16:18Can you raise the volume, please?
16:20Yeah, of course.
16:21What's his problem?
16:23I don't know.
16:23I just feel like
16:24he finds it embarrassing.
16:25You know, like,
16:26I post it up on Instagram
16:27and now all of his mates
16:28are going,
16:28your dad looks like a nonce.
16:30It's just a bit of
16:30an embarrassing,
16:31horrible situation.
16:32Okay.
16:32So, now,
16:33can you raise the pitch?
16:34Yeah, sure.
16:35And so, basically,
16:37it's a situation
16:38where he sort of
16:39finds it difficult
16:40because the opinion
16:40of his friends
16:41is important to him.
16:42Fine.
16:42So, can you try this?
16:44Yeah.
16:44Do you think the voice
16:46is ever going to help
16:47with the moustache
16:48when he sees this
16:49back and all his friends
16:50goes,
16:51your dad looks like a pervert
16:52but also sounds like a child?
16:54Okay.
16:55I think he'll think
16:56that the other person
16:56looks much more
16:57like a sex offender
16:58than he does.
16:59I don't think this voice
17:00is helping anyone.
17:01Fine.
17:02Now, you're using
17:03the false tone
17:05of the voice.
17:06Okay.
17:07Yeah.
17:07I want to use your...
17:08I think one of the things
17:09that holds me back
17:11is inhibitions.
17:12It's sort of embarrassment.
17:14I think Robber's got that less.
17:16Robber's got sort of
17:17a self-confidence
17:18and a self-belief
17:20that, in my opinion,
17:21exceeds his talent.
17:23Oi, come here.
17:24I've still got a lot of hope
17:25that I am sort of sitting
17:27on the great white rhino
17:28of Bollywood.
17:29And I think that today,
17:31if he shows something
17:32about himself,
17:33I don't have to do this anymore.
17:34I just become Rob's manager.
17:36And they call him,
17:37I don't know,
17:37Ghost or something like that.
17:40And he becomes
17:41the biggest thing
17:42in the Indian film industry.
17:44That's the big hope.
17:45That's the big white hope.
17:47Paresh had one last exercise
17:49to help us lose
17:50our inhibitions.
17:51And worryingly,
17:52it involved role play
17:53and a camcorder.
17:54Okay.
17:55Let's go to the second exercise.
17:58Okay.
17:59There's a situation.
18:00And you are in bus.
18:03You both are passengers.
18:04Yep.
18:04You are standing.
18:05And you are singing a song.
18:09Okay.
18:10And suddenly,
18:11he bumps to you.
18:13Because driver suddenly brake.
18:15And you get pissed off.
18:17Okay.
18:17And he says,
18:19what can I do
18:20when driver is doing this?
18:21Yeah.
18:22Again, you start singing.
18:24Yeah.
18:24And this time,
18:25the bumping person
18:27is in the opposite direction.
18:28Someone new.
18:29And you are really pissed off.
18:31And now you are shouting
18:32at that person.
18:34Yeah.
18:34That person turns out
18:35to be a girl.
18:37Right.
18:38And you suddenly smile.
18:39Okay.
18:40It's okay.
18:41Now you are pissed off
18:42that I bumped to you,
18:44you have shouted at me.
18:46And that's a girl.
18:47Yeah.
18:47He's smiling.
18:48Yeah.
18:49Prick.
18:49You have to act this
18:51in gibberish.
18:52In gibberish.
18:53In gibberish.
18:54Gibberish.
18:55Okay.
19:02Okay.
19:03Everything in gibberish.
19:04Okay.
19:04You can't
19:05a single English word.
19:07Okay.
19:07So you both are standing.
19:09And
19:09one,
19:11two,
19:12three,
19:13go.
19:13Salilu la,
19:15la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
19:30Do you know what it is?
19:34You don't know.
19:36You don't know?
19:38No, no.
19:40You don't know.
19:42You don't know?
19:43You don't know?
19:45Sa-man?
19:45Eh?
19:46Run, run, run.
19:48You don't know,
19:48It's not a good word.
19:50You don't have to do what it is.
19:51Go, go,
19:52You don't know,
19:52I don't have to do what it is.
19:54You don't have to do what it is.
19:55How much is it?
19:56You don't have to do it.
19:57I'm so happy.
19:59That's a good one!
20:03I'm going to put it in my hand
20:07Sal-le-lo
20:14That's a good one
20:23So let's see the result
20:25What did you achieve?
20:27What did you achieve?
20:29it turns out fresh was filming us so we could watch back and study our
20:33performances but all I could focus on was how we looked why did he show it back
20:39why did you do that I do not want to watch a video of me inside profile when
20:46the old gobble gobble toad face comes out and watch me and Ramesh talk gibberish
20:50I'm half decent straight on to the side fucking toad boy fuck me it was
20:57horrible our profiles are disgusting I didn't know what a beard is for now I
21:02know it's to hide that as for the gibberish thing there's two possible
21:07options option number one it's useful exercise in being able to act without
21:10using any words and the other interpretation is that pressure some
21:14sort of fetish it's very niche fantasy but pressure is incredibly specific he
21:18filmed it I don't know what he's gonna do with that he's now left with that footage
21:24Anna Pam's inhibition course had been an eye-opener but we'd passed and we had
21:30the t-shirts to prove it I actually felt like we learned some stuff today I think
21:34there's something that was said today that I'll keep with me for the rest of my
21:37life which is competence is the enemy of brilliance yes I like that I like
21:42Paresh a lot at sometimes he'd go whoo out of nowhere yeah and I don't know what
21:48that meant yeah that was like look and I'm like I just did it back at him yeah
21:52is that the right thing to do no yeah I think so I mean I don't know I don't know
21:55what you're asking I don't know Indian are you no probably that's something I keep
21:58forgetting what series are we also he said I look like a pervert we've got
22:03Anna Pam I know he should be pretty like a curious man behind a tree oh thanks
22:07Anna Pam thanks Anna Pam oh god here we go and he's cancelled clip it up put it in the trailer
22:14so we brought up home just written on me fucking chest we were in India hoping to
22:24land roles as Bollywood stars we'd met Indian movie legend Anna Pam care who'd
22:30helped us lose our acting inhibitions now all we needed was a film to star in and I
22:37just had some huge news so father yeah what did I say was not the big thing
22:42about us coming here obviously learn about Bollywood but the ultimate dream
22:46beyond all dreams be in Bollywood be in Bollywood in a film yeah got a text from
22:51Ali's team yeah we've got a part in a Bollywood movie have we yes right okay the
22:59film is a sequel to the successful movie Rish Toka Batwara which I remember you
23:03talking about a lot you like to be found out got the box set it's a drama it's not
23:06a box set it's a film yeah you don't know the blue ray Robin Romesh will be
23:10playing the role of visitors traveling from a foreign country joining in and one
23:15of the songs in the film the song will have the hero and heroine involved as
23:18well as about 20 dancers right okay finally and this is the bit I think you
23:23can be very excited about Rob will have a line in Hindi well
23:28John Jagada Cara hey ho what let me look at that kyan gada kag ray ho cut kyan get is
23:37this allowed I don't know we'll find out we'll find out in the edit go on kyan gada
23:42car right he ho which means why are you fighting I'm gonna have to speak to
23:47someone who can speak Hindi to find out to say Rob 100% that has to I can't just go on and
23:52freestyle that but listen we're in Bollywood baby we're Bollywood no as in
23:57we're gonna be in a ball right yeah sorry yeah this isn't but we're at now
24:01we're in Mumbai right okay but where is Bollywood then actually is there a sign
24:05there probably is a right I've seen it though actually in hindsight probably we
24:10should have done that I stress now don't get stressed easy for Ron to say he
24:14wasn't the one delivering lines in Hindi in a Bollywood movie especially because
24:18Ali had warned me what I was in for it gets really crazy on a set right
24:21especially like Bollywood sets you gotta be really really like Zen inside right
24:28now Zen felt miles off Ron was buzzing about our Bollywood debut but I was going
24:33to bed worrying I'd be getting cancelled mid scene the next day on Ali's advice we
24:44were traveling east of Mumbai into the countryside on a mission to find some
24:47inner peace we were heading to an Ayurveda spa to relax Ayurveda is a
24:53traditional Indian system of medicine focused on balance and well-being
24:57Bollywood swears by it stars like Amitabh Bachchan have promoted books on it
25:01and Rohit Roy has raved about it on social media so if it worked for them it
25:06could get Beckett in the right frame of mind for his performance tomorrow Rob sort
25:10of pranging out a little bit about it as he should do because he wouldn't be
25:14prepared to be in a movie if it was in English is there a strong argument that
25:19we should spend today doing some acting lessons and learning rudimentary Hindi
25:22absolutely but that's not what we're doing we're coming here to get like really
25:25very Zen and rather than Rob learning the Hindi he will become Hindi
25:32thank you we've gone for the Ayurvedic taster menu and based on the welcome it
25:37wasn't going to be your average spa day thank you thank you thank you thank you
25:45this is what you've got to wear for massage yeah can I put it around my waist
25:50our first treatments were Ayurvedic massages in traditional Ayurvedic dress if you undid a loo roll
26:00completely and attached a string to it that's what we've got to wear and then I see him after
26:09you finish the treatments you burn that immediately it's going on there look well
26:14I've got three of them on they put three in the room Romesh look like a giant baby
26:22because he'd made a special loincloth out of his loincloth absolutely horrendous I was having a
26:29treatment called pity chill basically warm oil poured all over me Rob was getting a
26:34massage called kashiradara which involved milk I feel like I'm watching your only fans
26:45the having milk pulled all over you sorry he's gonna be finding like cottage cheese in his crack
27:07this couldn't look worse he's gonna smell like an edam okay what it looked like was Rob's dick had
27:17been murdered and they put a shroud over it for its decency is that nice I'm asking yeah it's good
27:23my skin cannot be more oil ready to go the fucking air fryer I was feeling a little more
27:39zen after the milk massage but with ropes involved in our next treatment things are about to get a
27:44lot more intense right hello namaste nice to meet you I'm probably nice to meet you I'm probably nice
27:51to meet you for about please you walk into a room that looks like it's somewhere where they'd extract
27:55sort of secrets from you the rope coming from the ceiling you think this might be the last room I
28:00ever walk into you have to lay down face down okay okay put on it put on it I will put you in
28:07position for about some master in the art of Chabuti Turumal an Ayurvedic technique that means foot
28:13pressure full body deep tissue all done with the feet basically Beckett was about to get trampled
28:19I'm a big fan of Prabhat but he is using his feet and I'm firmly of the belief that feet should not be
28:27seen they're certainly not for applying oil and rubbing you up and down your body oh your Achilles
28:36tender went between his toes yeah I felt like the tender was a credit card and his toes as a machine
28:43you can I use your ass crackers chip and pin in a minute oh it's being supposed to simple it's
28:50things yeah I'd say that's probably the worst way my body could look my little one ball tits hanging down
28:59oh my gosh he's using it like a ski slope he's doing slalom on your bottom of your back please
29:14absolutely everything in profile have you ever looked up at the Sun for a second and you look
29:23away and that image is still in your eye that's what it was like with Rob's dick and balls what do
29:44think is going to happen now vite fuck it fucking oh my god god good mystery creature never月 felt
30:00like this before oh my god sorry what the fuck is going on oh my god are you joking
30:14even like that sort of tweaking his nose with his foot is his foot okay that's it thank you
30:23thank you very much now rob be careful now robbie oh fuck it or don't i was up please lay down
30:32and my foot aversion was about to be put to the test i don't want to do this
30:37it's good to finally get some oil on my skin
30:40had about three to four minutes where i wasn't completely oiled up from top to bottom so that's
30:46good and it didn't take long for prabhat to turn me into a human doormat it'd be good for your
30:51marathon training you're supposed to get time on feet not time under feet and as prabhat hit me
31:00with the sphinx and then the ski slope it was only a match of time before the inevitable happened
31:06here we go welcome to the thunderdome oh no
31:13what is happening
31:24here it comes
31:27close your eyes please
31:32okay yeah gladly why are you laughing brabhat don't forget his nose brabhat
31:39oh my god brabhat
31:43buy me a drink first brabhat
31:47okay sir thank you thank you so much that was lovely
31:54thank you thank you thank you so much brabhat thank you thank you
32:01thank you so much brabhat thank you thank you
32:04how shiny you are you look like a fucking gaso
32:11having prabhat put his foot on my face felt like the natural end to our ayurvedic journey
32:16but we still had one more treatment to go shiro basti it involved dough a hat and more oil
32:23this is what a pastry turban
32:25it's just never felt so helpless i just don't know what i am anymore
32:28i'll tell you about to be a pie
32:30the paste was a mystery until the hats went on
32:33it was there to seal them to our heads so they could pour in the oil
32:37it's good actually it's been about seven or eight minutes since i've had some oil applied
32:41we'd been thoroughly oiled and told to sit back relax and enjoy the feeling
32:48i started in a position that means the only way this stays straight up is if i look at your crotch
32:55have a good look
33:02please rob don't rob don't
33:06do you like it? feeling de-stressed?
33:09all i can see all i'm i can't this angle's terrible
33:12you're gonna sleep well tonight
33:14sorry to close it back up
33:15please
33:18you know what i think would have been a good treatment?
33:20a lesson in hindi
33:21kion dagara karahiho
33:24i don't know if that's right or not
33:26it had been a mixed day part relaxing part traumatic
33:30robert barely practiced for his role tomorrow but we ticked ayurveda off the bollywood to-do list
33:35all that was left now was to become bollywood stars
33:45we're in india taking on bollywood thanks to our mentor ali fazal we'd somehow ended up in a film
33:51and unbelievably rob had been given a line in hindi
33:56kayan gada kareho
33:58kayan gada
34:00is this allowed?
34:02today we were heading north from mumbai to the film's location a set called focus city
34:07if you'd have said to me at the beginning of this whole thing
34:10at the end of the week you are gonna be playing a tourist at focus city in a bollywood film
34:15i would say what is focus city?
34:18but here we are
34:19we're in a bollywood film
34:21it's a hell of a day mum
34:23we were here to star in the sequel of rishtoka batwara 2
34:27which translates as division of relationships
34:33the first film was a big hit
34:35a family drama packed with dance numbers
34:37so with bollywood fans already on board
34:39expectations were high
34:41this film is a sequel to a film
34:48that on youtube has got 13 million views
34:51right
34:52so this is not rob beckett's smart tv
34:54right
34:55lots of people actually watch this
34:57first up we were meeting the film's producer mr. sharp
35:01yeah
35:02good morning
35:03so he could talk us through the scene
35:05it's a song sequence
35:06in which
35:08a hero and heroine
35:10is having a very sweet fight
35:13sweet fight yeah
35:14where the heroine says the hero
35:16you bring me the
35:18jumkha
35:19that is the earring
35:20earring
35:21the big one
35:22then only i will allow you to kiss on my chick
35:25oh
35:26so you are watching all this
35:28why these people are fighting
35:30there is one guy who is selling earrings
35:32yeah
35:33you get that earring
35:34yeah
35:35you go to the heroine
35:36and then
35:37you have to explain it
35:38in one line in hindi
35:39yes
35:40yes
35:41like
35:42he's doing the line
35:43he's got this
35:44only little word in hindi
35:45all right
35:46great
35:47and you can take part when the song is going on you can just do whatever kind
35:50okay great
35:51yeah you met my director
35:52no
35:53no not yet
35:54it's busy
35:55it's busy
35:56hi
35:57i'm rob nice to meet you
35:58yeah
35:59hello
36:00he's rob and he's robin
36:01hi nice to meet you
36:02it's too hot
36:03it's hot isn't it
36:04yeah
36:05so he's my director
36:06he told you what he was supposed to do
36:07he told you
36:08yeah yeah yeah
36:09perfect
36:10thank you so much
36:11thank you so much
36:12thank you
36:13looking around
36:14the production was big
36:16and the thought of rob dancing and trying to speak hindi in front of everyone was too good to be true
36:21i can't wait
36:22i'm absolutely buzzing i feel like it's my birthday
36:26while ron was chilling with his coffee i'd hit the google translate panic bar
36:31here we go here
36:32why are you doing this
36:33oh fuck sake
36:34i feel like don king
36:36i've brought my i've brought my prize fighter to focus city to be in a film
36:41you want to speak hindi yeah hell yeah he speaks hindi
36:44know
36:49chakra
36:51chakuel
36:53chakuel
36:54he'll speak as much hindi as you mate
36:55Rob speak some god-daine hindi boy
36:58hor
36:59kar
37:00rahi
37:00ho
37:02i'd said my line so many times i didn't even know if it was right anymore
37:06kiu chakla rahi ho
37:08but with the cast and crew gearing up and filming about to start
37:11to start we got the call to costume and once we put on our tourist outfits the line felt like the
37:18least of my worries so what do you think what we plan again um yeah some sort of tourist i've got
37:24a guess at what type um the through line of me being a pervert in this show is not stopping is
37:30it no i think you suit the look i mean i think the socks and sandals are doing most of the heavy
37:35lifted what i want to know is what are us two on holiday doing well now that's the question isn't
37:45it yeah we just we just go yeah we're on a little little trip we've got india cambodia thailand
37:51have a look about yeah feel more feel more welcome over here than a new back at home
37:57all right come on should we go do it
38:00we had three scenes to shoot that made up one big dance number but we were still trying to get
38:08our heads around the story it's a very confusing narrative we're two tourists let's not get into
38:14specifics of what we're doing how we've come together why we're wearing what we're wearing
38:18all of that i think is makes it a much darker project first we had to watch the loved up couple
38:24have a barney over a pair of earrings while we stared through a window like a pair of creeps
38:29luckily kd was on hand to guide us through it i'll tell you look each other okay then you'll
38:35become look what's going on i'm a big fan of kd he looks like sherman clump the late he is
38:39ready ready i'll be here okay you tell me when i'll say go i love the fact he's very nice to us but
38:47then shouts at anyone brown that works on the show you didn't know what about the unit hey
38:52so then you um you do this and then you come and then i'll tell you go and then look each other
39:02yeah then start dancing okay yeah
39:04the way our little way to pop out i don't know if this is a massive stitch up because at the
39:21moment what it feels like is this is the most mental thing i've ever done
39:24in the next part of the scene our characters were joined by a bloke in a scarf who was selling
39:39earrings junker that we were going to buy to please the leading lady and unfortunately for us
39:45this meant the start of our big dance sequence
39:48so we were shown the classic bollywood dance move the thumka
39:56and once kd was happy we were ready to go for a take
40:02roll
40:02what's going on what's going on what's going on
40:08oh
40:09junker junker ah junker
40:12and once we'd started
40:18junker it didn't stop
40:20fucking how long is this going for
40:23just how long is this junker tune
40:28i dance more today for those seeds than i have done at every asian wedding i've ever been to
40:35added together
40:36okay
40:36thank god
40:38all good
40:40thankfully the dancing was done but that meant it was time for rob's line and he wasn't looking good
40:47i'm absolutely exhausted already and it's happened yet
40:49it's 39 degrees the geezer said this is an indian heat wave
40:53i can't handle a british heat wave
40:55i was melting in the heat and kd was pressuring me to rehearse
40:59what's the dialogue
41:00kiyon gahari ka rahe ho
41:02kiyon gahari ka rahe ho
41:04kiyon gahari ka rahe ho
41:06kiyon gahari ka rahe ho
41:06kiyon gahari ka rahe ho
41:07i've got no idea what the line is anymore
41:09kiyon jagra
41:11jagra
41:11jagra
41:11jagra
41:12jagra
41:13jagra
41:13jagra
41:13every single indian actor or producer or director that comes up to me
41:18has a different accent and pronounces it in a different way
41:20kiyon jagra kar rahe ho
41:22kiyon jagra kar rahe ho
41:27i think it's accents you know like in the uk people have got different accents so it's like
41:35i feel like an italian player that's signed for liverpool i've learned english and everyone's a
41:39scouser rob was all over the place hearing the line pronounced 20 different ways and scrambled
41:45his brain kyun jagra karaki hello just you don't start don't shout the line at everybody
41:51you cannot get in my head right now show me how you're gonna do it
41:54kyun that sounds it's a bit sure it is yeah but don't worry about that don't get that in your head
42:00about that now we had to deliver in hindi in front of the entire cast and crew and eventually millions
42:06of bollywood fans oh but if he nailed it he'd be a bona fide bollywood movie star ready roll
42:16action here's our big bollywood moment in rishto kabatwara 2
42:23oh
42:29oh
42:31તીના જુમકા પીયા તોબે બાત બાંણી આજ વાલા રાત હાણી ઓણી જુમકા જુમકા જુમકા જુમકા જુમકા જુમ
43:01જમમ યનીકા જમતરણ એ જુમકે જયા જુમકા જયાણય જમેડ જમેણે જુમકླા�લા�લ�iં જ�ે હૂ�યા હતા�ા��ા��ેગ
43:31You know, everyone's like, I'm a one-take wonder.
43:37But I do think it had something to do with lunch.
43:41Because they were like, right, done, lunch.
43:44Is that okay?
43:48Our Bollywood adventure was complete.
43:50We'd acted, danced, been oiled and somehow survived it.
43:54Robert nailed his line first time, which honestly, I never thought would happen.
43:58But cometh the hour, cometh the great white rhino.
44:02Do you know what, Rob? I think we've done well here.
44:05Yeah, I think you've done particularly well.
44:07We had a mission objective for this episode.
44:10We've done it.
44:11We delivered a line of Hindi dialogue in a film.
44:14You hate music and dancing.
44:16You danced for ages.
44:17I enjoyed it.
44:18You let go of your inhibitions.
44:19I don't know if the foot massage helped.
44:21In future, if I'm trying to learn Hindi, I don't think I need to lay naked face down and have a man walk on me.
44:26No.
44:27Never mind on camera.
44:28I'll do that in my spare time.
44:29No, in all seriousness, no, you were great, though.
44:36Do you know what I think we should do?
44:37What's that?
44:38Head off, go and find KD, see if we can be in part three.
44:42Get some of the backstory for these two perverts.
44:45Maybe.
44:46Jimker in London.
44:47I'm so sweaty.
44:48Is your arse wet?
44:51We can't close the episode like that.
44:53I'm not opening it, are you?
44:54Come on, this guy.
44:56Jumka.
45:00Come on.
45:00Give him one more.
45:01Come on.
45:01Come on.
45:01Come on.
45:26Oh
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