- 2 days ago
River City - Season 2025 Episode 62 -
08/12/2025 (1558)
08/12/2025 (1558)
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00:00Thank you for listening.
00:30I hear you. What have you been told? They've been un-left of your party if you keep scoffing
00:43them. Sorry. Not sorry. That's the last thing he needs is more sugar. I know it's Kenzie's
00:52party, but as high as a kite as it is, I'd, eh, Bob say when he'd be back. Can you see
01:04me, wee man? Well, good, cos for a wee minute there I thought I was invisible. Are you
01:11going to be like this all day? Ah, well, let's go to just be me and you then, teddy boy.
01:22Oh no, not again. That is the third time of the day you'd think he would be empty.
01:30What are you feeding him? Cat food. And I'm out of leggings. You know what, I need to take
01:35him home and change him. Right, I'll be back in ten. And I know that you're still annoyed
01:42but can we at least have a wee chat before the rest of the party folk get here? What's
01:46left to say? Well, I wanted to. Morning. Oh, if that's you, you need to go to the doctor.
01:53I know. I'll be back pronto. So, apart from the Ross Rouge, it looks like you've got
02:02everything organised. Aye, need to blow up some balloons, fill up some party bags and then
02:08I'm collecting the cake. What time's the entertainment getting here? Ah. Right, erm, so here's the
02:16thing. There you are. I've been looking for you. Checking up on me. I'm not doing anything
02:31I shouldn't be. Look, I know that. I'm sorry for not trusting you. It's fine. You've apologised
02:38already. Aye, but I still want to make it up to you. So that's what I wanted to tell you.
02:43I'm going to run the Santa Dash. Yeah, you said. No, what I meant was that I'm going to
02:49run it for you. For a charity of your choice. That's actually very cool. I'm going to do
02:55it for your favourite addiction charity too. What do you think? I think it's a great idea.
02:59Go for it. I'm going to raise hundreds of cash and sponsorship. No, in fact, I am going
03:04to raise the most money out of all the runners. That's amazing, but I'm sure they'll appreciate
03:08whatever you can raise. No, no, I've said it now. The most money out of all the runners,
03:12charity deserves it, son. I think you might struggle. Oh, eh? You don't think I can run
03:17the lend of myself? No, no, not with the running, with the sponsorship. I've heard Karen's been
03:21doing really well with getting folk on board with her charity. Oh, you think I cannae beat
03:25her? I don't know. Let me tell you, I'll wipe the floor with Karen and ring out what's left
03:32in a manky bucket. OK. Well, good luck. Luck's got nothing to do
03:37it, son. I'm glad Dean had to go pick up the cake. Did you see the daggers he was giving
03:47me? What did you expect? He'd already told Kenzie that there was a special guest coming.
03:53I know. I said I was sorry. What did your mate say exactly? He got the date wrong. How'd you get
04:01the dates wrong at Christmas? Thought was he planning on turning up in Good Friday dressed as
04:04Easter Bunny? He thought the party was tomorrow, so he went out last night and got on one. And he
04:10can't entertain with a hangover? He did not go home. He's still hammered. Well, I know who's
04:15going to hammer him? Bob when he comes back and finds out. Come on. It's Christmas time. Good will
04:21to all men and all that. Good luck saying that to Bob. Soon he's going to find himself stuck in a
04:28small flat with a handful of mental eight-year-olds jacked up to the nines and suites with nothing
04:33to entertain them. What am I supposed to do about it? Maybe you could give Sam a phone, see if he's got
04:40somebody in his books last minute. Ah, he was too expensive. And anyway, who's not working at
04:45Christmas time? We'll end up with that 85-year-old Tony Bennet impersonator with the one leg.
04:50Which is ironic, cos he's got no toe and no knee. Well, we're going to need somebody here
04:55in the next hour, so is there any point ringing about? Nah, there's pointless. We could put
05:00a movie on for them. I mean, it's not what I promised, but... Oh, the kids will be happy
05:05with that. Aye. They're more resilient than you think. What did you get for your birthday,
05:10Kenzie? Big box of disappointment. Well, maybe there is something we could do. What?
05:17Apply them with even more sugar and hope they pass out by the sugar high? If I go now and
05:24I hurry, I think I can still sort this. Really? Aye. It's Christmas time. Let's hope for a miracle.
05:31I've just had a phone call with the council. Good for you. I've just had a sleepless night
05:50with a screaming baby. The usual, please. Kids, yeah. Love a couple someday. So, anyway,
05:57your little petition to save the oyster. It's fallen short of the threshold for them
06:03even to consider it. Well shot, he said. And I've just had a very positive meeting with
06:09the planning department. Looks like I'm going to get the go-ahead to completely renovate
06:13the oyster. I wouldn't be so sure about that. We've recently discovered the oyster is a historically
06:17protected building. Not according to my people. You know, the people that actually matter.
06:22They don't think they'll have any problem getting the planning permission. Bits of special interest
06:26to the community. According to the council, not, isn't it? They say it's not listed and
06:32it's got no special and conservation status. And even if it did, I shake the right hands
06:38and Bob's your uncle. But it's special to us. But you're living in the past. You know, people
06:45don't want a cup of builder's tea and a scabby old calf. They want freshly roasted coffee beans.
06:50Great value in a clean, contemporary surrounding. And that is exactly what I'm going to give
06:56them.
06:56What a completely soulless experience that they could get in any coffee chain on any
07:00high street in the world.
07:01And those coffee shops are always packed out. Because people, people want consistency.
07:06They want to know exactly what they're getting at a price point they know they can afford.
07:10Ugh, your aim is to make life more boring. Making money is many things. It's never boring.
07:17Well, I certainly won't be going there and I'm sure most of Shale Dench won't either.
07:21Well, it's a pity. The first espresso was on me. Looks like you could deal with the caffeine.
07:35What did he want?
07:39Is that your sponsorship form?
07:44Ma?
07:45Not many on it.
07:47Oh, no, when you're trying to get sponsored. I've been running off of Shale Dench, you
07:52know, I keep hearing this. Oh, sorry, I've already sponsored somebody.
07:54Well, folk just have now got the money.
07:56What about you? Will you sponsor me?
07:58Eh, well, I've already sponsored somebody.
08:01Ma!
08:02Well, I meant put me down for a fiver.
08:04A fiver?
08:05Aye, all right. A tenner then.
08:08So, how much is that in total?
08:10Well, with your tenner and a tenner for Chris, that makes a grand total of twenty.
08:18Well, if you cannae get individuals to sponsor you, you're just gonna have to think out the
08:23box like Karen has.
08:32Who you off to?
08:33Eh, I need to get to work, but the cake's been safely delivered. At least that bit of the
08:37party's got a plan.
08:38What do you mean?
08:39Getting a tenner.
08:40Chris booked.
08:41He went in a mad bender last night.
08:42Kelly Marie said Chris has got to sort it out, though.
08:44Eh, so why the panic?
08:45The guy's not answering his phone.
08:47They're gonna have to drag him out of the pub.
08:48He's half his face.
08:49They waiting to be disappointed.
08:50Can you juggle?
08:51No.
08:52Magic tricks.
08:53Plate spinning.
08:54That thing where it looks like your thumb's coming.
08:56I'm phoning Chris again.
08:57Eh, before you do, like what I was saying earlier, I know you're still disappointed
09:02about not getting into the police.
09:04Yeah.
09:05Aye, but there's nothing I can do about that except say sorry.
09:09Whatever.
09:10And I cannae change the fact that I've fallen in love with Amber.
09:14And if me and Amber hadn't got together then Teddy wouldn't exist and I know you wouldn't
09:18want that.
09:19Course not.
09:21I'm his favourite uncle, am I?
09:29Come on, what are you doing wasting time the wee man going for him, Chris?
09:32And me and you will get into this madness.
09:38He's been on the Guinness again.
09:43That was even worse than last time.
09:46Right.
09:47Let's get you home again.
09:49Where did you come from?
09:50Where did you go?
09:51Where did you come from?
09:52Carnaggio.
09:53Where did you come from?
09:54Where did you come from?
09:56Where did you come from?
09:57Where did you come from?
09:58Where did you come from?
09:59Where did you come from?
10:00Where did you come from?
10:01Oh!
10:03Ugh, still my.
10:04Yeas are getting a hold of Santa.
10:07That's the real carnage over there by the way.
10:10The only reason they have no tors to play shit is because I managed to find that extra
10:13six pack a monster much.
10:14What am I supposed to do?
10:15Don't ask me.
10:16I've already tried musical stuff.
10:17Me? I've already tried musical statues,
10:20pass the parcel, put the trail in the reindeer.
10:22My fums poor bleeding.
10:23Right, well, maybe we should tell them
10:25there isn't a special guest.
10:26What, and break Kenzie's hat?
10:28Mind you, better break his hat and break up his sofa.
10:33Help me!
10:34We want a special guest!
10:36We want a special guest!
10:39We want a special guest!
10:41We want a special guest!
10:43We want a special guest!
10:46What's the end of the year on Christmas book?
10:47Er, he's just running a wee bit later.
10:50Well, we've got to get here soon.
10:51See, the thing I see when he gets here,
10:53he might be very merry.
10:55So it should be, that's what I'm buying him for.
10:56No, but what we're saying is he might be
10:59full of the Christmas spirit.
11:01Well, at least somebody will be.
11:03These wings are the man-er-ton.
11:05I'm going to answer that.
11:07Right, kids, everybody on the couch, come on.
11:08Come on, here we go, here we go.
11:10Right, listen up, guys.
11:11The special guest is at the front door!
11:14Is it going to be Spider-Man?
11:18Or Superman?
11:21Or maybe even Batman?
11:24Wow, it's...
11:27What is that?
11:33I told you it was going to be a superhero.
11:37Do you?
11:44Talk of really getting behind us, aren't I, Dash?
11:46It's impressive, eh?
11:47Well, they certainly raise more money than what I have, but...
11:51Oh, I know, I'm sorry.
11:52I've already sponsored somebody.
11:54Just let everybody, eh?
11:55Mm-hm.
11:56With a wee potter donating 50 pence of every purchase to the charity.
12:01What charity?
12:02Mm-hm.
12:03Whatever Karen's charity is.
12:04She made a deal with him.
12:05Oh, how'd she do that?
12:06I imagine she'd just ask them.
12:08The vintage store are doing the same thing.
12:10What are we, then?
12:11Aye.
12:1220% of it, enough of that Santa Dash rail is going to Karen.
12:15So Karen's got this whole place working for now?
12:17Well, we're a charity.
12:19Right, well, I'll get Kayla Marie on my side.
12:21Eh, it's too late.
12:26Well, that's going to Karen and all.
12:28She's a smart cookie.
12:30She's going to raise a fortune.
12:31Well, it's great, isn't it?
12:32Is it hell?
12:35Four, one, two, three, four.
12:54I wasn't sure about him to begin with, but the wings are loving it.
12:58Aye, he's brilliant.
13:01Oh, look at Kenji's wee face.
13:05Oh, no, no, I don't think she'd be doing that.
13:33No, no, I, I, I, I, no, I think that's a bit much.
13:36Baba, have a wee word.
13:37Right, that's enough now, Mr Grinch.
13:40Oh!
13:41There's no need for that.
13:48Right, go out and get Chris.
13:50He needs to get his mad mate under control.
13:54Mate, show's over.
13:55Oh!
13:56Oh!
13:57Oh!
13:58Oh!
13:59Oh!
14:00Oh!
14:01I see it!
14:02The show's over!
14:03Oh!
14:04Right!
14:05Oh!
14:06Baba, get off him!
14:07You're freaking in the wings!
14:08Where's Chris?
14:09Get him on the phone right now!
14:10Well, that's what happened to him!
14:11Oh!
14:12Oh!
14:13Oh!
14:14Oh!
14:15Oh!
14:16Happy birthday again, Zay!
14:17Yeah!
14:21Yeah!
14:22All right?
14:23I should be asking you that.
14:25So this is why you don't need to turn up for your shift at Molly's?
14:29I was gonna call you about that.
14:33When?
14:34Once I got going.
14:35I should be asking you that.
14:38So this is why you don't turn up for your shift at Molly's?
14:41I was going to call you about that.
14:42When?
14:43Once I got going.
14:45Going where?
14:46I'm leaving Shugman's.
14:47Oh, you're no...
14:48Look, the taxi's on its way.
14:50But you're gone now?
14:52Aye, in two minutes.
14:53Now, considering everything I've done for you,
14:55we're no even going to say goodbye.
15:02Who did this to you?
15:05At least tell me why.
15:07I'm going to miss my taxi.
15:09Well then, you better make it quick.
15:13This was the actual nightmare before Christmas.
15:16Those kids won't sleep for a week.
15:18To be fair, my mate would have been better.
15:20He does it for a living.
15:21Couldn't have been much worse.
15:23Unless you took a dump in the kitchen.
15:25That's Teddy's gig.
15:26So, why was your mate not here?
15:28Well, there was a mix-up with the dates.
15:30I got mad with it last night,
15:32which ran into this morning,
15:33which ran into the afternoon.
15:35He's totally mangled.
15:37Like my flat?
15:38Worse.
15:39But I couldn't bear the thought of letting Kenzie down.
15:42So his flatmate let me borrow a costume.
15:45But why did you go nuts?
15:48We've not seen the viral videos.
15:51That's what the Grinch does.
15:53He comes in and messes the place up.
15:56You wrecked the place, man.
15:58I thought it would be funny.
16:00But I got a bit carried away.
16:02I've never done it before.
16:03But did you not see Kenzie was upset?
16:05I couldn't see it out of the mask.
16:06I thought they were all laughing.
16:08Then you launched me onto the couch.
16:11I thought you were a kid.
16:13Not the best excuse.
16:15What is it?
16:25It's knackered.
16:27What is?
16:29I bought this for Kim's birthday.
16:33You've broken me.
16:36I'm really sorry.
16:38I'll get it fixed.
16:40It's too late for that.
16:50What's that?
16:52It's Kim's handwriting.
16:59I just need a fresh start.
17:00Where are you planning on going?
17:02I might go and see Nicole.
17:03And what are you going to do for money?
17:04I haven't got that far yet.
17:06I'll sort something out.
17:07You see?
17:08You've no thought this through.
17:09No, I need to go.
17:10No, you don't.
17:11I do.
17:13Connor.
17:14Who's told you to leave?
17:16You know I can help you.
17:18It's too late for that, Tommy.
17:20You're a good lad.
17:22You've really helped me out.
17:23You deserve a bonus.
17:25Here.
17:28Take that.
17:29And I'll put the rest of this man's beer into your account.
17:31This is really going to help.
17:33Yeah, that's what mates do, eh?
17:35They help each other.
17:36Look.
17:37You know how you said Roisin's been acting a bit weird lately?
17:39Aye.
17:40Well, trust her got on that.
17:41What do you mean?
17:42I'm sorry, Tommy.
17:43But if you know something, you need to tell me now.
17:44Connor, please!
17:45Connor, please!
17:46There you go, Tim.
17:48I know it can.
17:49What can I get you?
17:50Oh, no, you're okay.
17:51I heard you were at the market looking for sponsorship.
17:52I was, but...
17:53I'm really sorry, but I've already sponsored someone.
17:54No, I don't need your sponsorship, no.
17:55No, I don't need your sponsorship, no.
17:56But what I did notice was all the Santa Dash signs everywhere.
17:59At the B pot, the vintage stall, even Kelly Marie's.
18:00Yeah, well, they've all been really generous.
18:01And it's all going to be fine.
18:02I know it can.
18:03There you go, Tim.
18:09I know it can.
18:10What can I get you?
18:11Oh, no, you're okay.
18:12I heard you were at the market looking for sponsorship.
18:15Aye, I was, but...
18:16I'm really sorry, but I've already sponsored someone.
18:19No, I don't need your sponsorship, no.
18:21But what I did notice was all the Santa Dash signs everywhere.
18:24At the B pot, the vintage stall, even Kelly Marie's.
18:27Yeah, well, they've all been really generous.
18:30And it's all going to your charity.
18:32And that's the idea.
18:33Well, do you not think you've gone a bit overboard?
18:36Some of yous are trying to raise money and all.
18:38Are you struggling for sponsors?
18:40No, I'm not.
18:41I'm not struggling.
18:42It just seems a bit unfair that you've monopolised the whole of the Shield inch.
18:46I mean, it's so unfair of me raising all this money for charity.
18:49Aye, but some of yous are trying to raise money and all.
18:51And you've got you pausing most of it.
18:53I did not manage todays very much.
18:55Well, I mean, that's a pity for your charity.
18:58Well, listen, if you must know, it's been going quite well, actually.
19:01Well, how much have you raised?
19:03Five hundred pounds.
19:05Five hundred?
19:06And change.
19:07Yeah, well, that's great.
19:09I don't know why you're moaning to me.
19:11How are you feeling?
19:12Relieved.
19:13There hasn't been anything else.
19:14Do you?
19:15Nothing.
19:16Fingers crossed.
19:17I think it's over.
19:18I'm keeping my toes crossed, you know.
19:19Yeah.
19:20But if you want my professional opinion, I think that might be osteoporosis.
19:24Sure.
19:25What's up?
19:26Sure.
19:27Amber had a confrontation with Richard.
19:28What's up?
19:29Amber had a confrontation with Richard.
19:30What's up?
19:31What's up?
19:32Are you okay?
19:33I'm fine.
19:34But the oyster isn't.
19:35What did you say?
19:36What did you say?
19:37I don't know.
19:38I don't know.
19:39I don't know.
19:40But if you want my professional opinion, I think that might be osteoporosis.
19:43Sure.
19:44What's up?
19:48Amber had a confrontation with Richard.
19:53Are you okay?
19:54I'm fine.
19:55But the oyster isn't.
19:56What did you say?
19:57Amber had a confrontation with Richard.
19:58Are you okay?
19:59I'm fine.
20:00But the oyster isn't.
20:02What did you say?
20:05He's been given planning permission to gut the place.
20:08Oh no.
20:09It might mean nothing to the council, but it means everything to us.
20:14Just think of everything that's happened over the years on these bits.
20:17Tommy met Carly for the first time in here.
20:20She's been in the community for decades.
20:23It's always been a family business, not a faceless corporate outlet.
20:28There must be something we can still do.
20:31There's something more that we can bring to the council.
20:34It's not over till it's over.
20:36You can do anything if you get a folk a shield inch behind you.
20:40What do you think, Amber?
20:42We can't give up now.
20:44Yeah, we can.
20:46We tried our best and it wasn't good enough.
20:50There's nothing more we can do.
20:53All we've got to do now is face the facts.
20:58We lost.
21:00Wait for me.
21:05Thanks, but I just need some space to think.
21:10I'll see you later.
21:12You had no idea it was there?
21:18Nah.
21:21Why would I?
21:24Well...
21:27Maybe you've got the Grinch to thank for that.
21:29Don't know what it is yet.
21:38Well it says...
21:40Open when I'm gone.
21:45And she's gone.
21:46Open.
22:03Wow.
22:04Okay, well...
22:08That's something.
22:11Look...
22:12Do you want us to stay with you?
22:14We can watch it together.
22:15Nah.
22:16I think I'd prefer just to watch it alone.
22:19If you don't mind.
22:20Oh no, of course.
22:23Right, well...
22:25We'll head then.
22:27Thanks...
22:28...for the day.
22:30Are you sure you're gonna be okay?
22:32Aye.
22:34I'm just gonna get my laptop and watch this.
22:38Right, okay.
22:39Well...
22:40You'll head then.
22:59You'll head then.
23:00You'll head then.
23:21So, how's your day been?
23:23Er...
23:24Long.
23:26Teddy was up all night,
23:27and even when he was feeding,
23:29he had reflux,
23:30so I went through
23:31three pairs of pajamas.
23:32Look, I know it's tough now,
23:34but you'll miss those days
23:35when they're gone.
23:36Yeah, I could really do
23:37with a nap right now.
23:38Yeah, I bet.
23:40But it's moments like those
23:41you don't want to miss.
23:43Thanks.
23:44I'll, um...
23:46bear that in mind.
23:51Sorry,
23:52was there something you wanted
23:53to see me about?
23:54Look, I only came over to check
23:56if you were feeling okay.
23:58I heard the news about the oyster.
24:01Yeah.
24:02Well, Richard made a point
24:03of telling me himself.
24:05I think he enjoyed it.
24:07You must be disappointed.
24:09Disappointed?
24:11I put everything into that campaign.
24:13I'm absolutely devastated.
24:14Yeah, well, we all are.
24:17And I'm absolutely shattered.
24:19Well,
24:21now you'll have more time on your hands,
24:22you can
24:24start to focus on what's important again.
24:27Meaning what?
24:29Well, you have a child now.
24:30Any luck at the merchant's yard?
24:43Take any money?
24:45About 500 quid.
24:47Oh, that's unbelievable.
24:49Aye, it is.
24:51Completely unbelievable.
24:53I.e. not real.
24:55What have you done now?
24:56Oh, what was I supposed to do?
24:57Karen's got the whole of Shield Dunge
24:59wrapped around her wee finger.
25:00What do you mean?
25:01Well, she's getting a kickback
25:02for her charity
25:03for virtually everyone.
25:04All the stalls.
25:06The Mafia would make less money.
25:08Well, so what if she's raising money?
25:10It's all for a good cause.
25:11Aye, but she was so smug about it.
25:13And then when she asked me how much I'd raised,
25:14I could hardly say 20 quid,
25:16so I'd just say 500.
25:18Oh, what are you like?
25:19Well, I just slipped to it.
25:21And then she'll be blabbing that to everyone
25:22and I'll never raise as much as that.
25:24Well, you shouldn't have lied.
25:25But all I want to do is raise the money for Drew.
25:28I promised him.
25:30Well, if Karen's pulled out all the stops,
25:33then you're just going to have to do the same.
25:35But she's already got everyone at the market.
25:37Aye, but she's not got here.
25:39And?
25:41Well, we could hold a fundraiser in the pub for your charity.
25:45You know, Christmas tunes and Santa on the decks.
25:49Aye, could charge an entrance fee, a fiver.
25:51I could charge a tenner.
25:53People are at their most generous at Christmas.
25:56Aye.
25:57And I'll wipe that smug smell of white Afghans' face.
26:00Hm.
26:01Oh, I've been looking for you.
26:13Thought you wanted to be alone.
26:15Yeah, forget all that.
26:17What's happened?
26:18Too many people have written us off.
26:20And I've had it up to here being told what I can and cannot do.
26:23Sounds like the caffeine from your coffee's kicking in.
26:26Richard might have the council on his side.
26:29But the sale hasn't gone through yet.
26:31So?
26:33So we've got people power on our side.
26:35And I'll tell you this.
26:37I'm not going to sit down and shut up while a bunch of suits
26:39take away the things we love most about Shield Inch.
26:42So what are we going to do?
26:44We're going to force AJ to reject Richard's offer.
26:47How?
26:48We'll have a protest.
26:50Here at the Oyster.
26:52That'll spread the word.
26:54We'll force AJ to change his mind.
27:00But that video was Kim's last ever message to you.
27:04What? I cannae handle it.
27:05Be strong enough to hear what Kim has to say.
27:08I can't watch Teddy.
27:10But you have to.
27:11Amber, I'm really sorry, but Bob's phoned in sick.
27:13Why isn't Amber here yet?
27:15Small but mighty. We've got this right.
27:16You'll need to tell him eventually.
27:18Alex is going to do a run in this place on his end.
27:21You've got to be joking.
27:23You see me laughing.
27:46He walks along.
27:47Don't you, diaps?
27:52Large-ass Buzz.
27:53Huh?
27:55I don't think so.
27:57You didn't think so.
27:59That's a good thing.
28:00Lord, come true so see you.
28:02You've come and let me stay up and now!
28:05Give a hundred seconds.
28:06I'll see you.
28:08Goodbye.
28:11Hey Josh.
28:12And remember your name?
28:13Well, good baby.
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