Let Go of RESENTMENT!

Stefan Molyneux

Philosopher Stefan Molyneux examines the historical and evolutionary dynamics between men and women, highlighting women's resentment due to exclusion and the implications of intellectual focus over physical survival. He details the maternal burden tied to dependency in infancy and discusses the distinct survival roles of men and women—where men operate in a meritocracy and women prioritize community and resource distribution. Critiquing political structures, he notes potential pitfalls in women's political influence on meritocracy. Ultimately, he advocates for mutual appreciation to foster deeper connections and societal harmony.  SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025

Transcript

00:00All right, it's time to heal the love divide between men and women.

00:06I'm going to make this a relatively short talk, but after it, you will open your heart

00:10wide to the skies above of love.

00:14So this resentment that women have is saying, well, we were excluded from certain fields

00:19in the past.

00:20Okay, so we made a bargain, men and women, unconsciously, but it's kind of how evolution

00:28and selection works.

00:29So we made a bargain and we said, we're going all in on the brain.

00:34We're not going to develop armor.

00:36We're not going to develop big claws.

00:38We're not going to develop giant teeth.

00:40We're going all in on the brain.

00:42And that's what we gambled, right?

00:44As a species, we said, we're going to go all in on the brain.

00:47But that which is the most complex takes the longest to develop.

00:52So what we did was he said, we're going to delay the development of human beings to the

01:00point where we get these big giant brains.

01:03This is why babies are born helpless and don't even walk for the first year.

01:08Other mammals can walk right away within a day or two, maybe a week or two.

01:12But we don't even walk until we're a year old.

01:15In other words, the first year of life is sometimes called the fourth trimester because basically

01:20babies get born right before they split women in two because of the giant brains.

01:25So we gambled everything on our brain.

01:29I would say, given that this conversation is able to occur and all the wonderful things

01:33that we have developed from our brains, it was a pretty good deal.

01:35But it comes at costs, of course.

01:39So one of the biggest costs from developing the giant brain, which was the deal that men

01:44and women made with each other, is that women are largely disabled through having children,

01:51recovering from childbirth, breastfeeding and raising kids because, you know, the little

01:58toddlers are kind of death magnets, particularly in a harsher, more dangerous world.

02:01And of course, particularly when half of children died before the age of five and one to two

02:10percent of women died from each child being born, each childbirth, right?

02:15Which accumulated, of course, over the course of a lifetime.

02:18And then just as women hit menopause or their fertility drops off a cliff after the age of

02:2440 is right about the time that they can invest in grandchildren, which of course have a quarter

02:28of their genes as well.

02:29So women were basically having and raising children from their teens until they got very

02:38old.

02:39That was the deal.

02:42Men, on the other hand, had to hunt like crazy more so than most animals because we have this

02:49giant brain, which is like two percent of our body mass, but like 10 to 20 percent of our

02:54energy consumption.

02:55So we need a lot of fuel to keep the giant brain going, which means that men had to work

03:00very hard hunting.

03:01And when we got into our careers historically, so I'm thinking the Middle Ages, you know, logging

03:07and stone cutting and other forms of building, fatality rates were enormous.

03:14In fact, men were two to three times more likely to die, not from war, but just from hunting and

03:21other kinds of industrial accidents, men were two to three times more likely to die from

03:28just working and hunting and building than women were to die of childbirth.

03:33So it was the deal that sucked for everyone.

03:36It was a deal that was except, except, of course, it got us this big, giant, magnificent brain

03:42singular among creation that should be used for more than complaining about the choices

03:50necessary to create it, right?

03:51We should do more with our brain than say, well, we've developed this big, giant brain.

03:56It's able to conceptualize and compare proposed actions to ideal standards and come up with

04:02sonnets and poems and songs and literature and science.

04:06And we should use it for more than complaining about the horrible furnace in which our brains

04:11were created, which was women focusing on having and raising children and men focusing

04:15on feeding the giant brain requirements to the point where a lot of women died in childbirth

04:21and two to three times more men, even outside of war, died in providing for their families.

04:28And if you throw war in, it gets even worse.

04:30So it sucked in general for everyone throughout human history.

04:34So why were women excluded from particular fields?

04:38Well, men have to operate on a raw meritocracy.

04:41If you're the guy with, you know, the dead eye and the flawless arm and you're like the

04:46pitcher of spears par excellence, then you're the guy who gets the spear, limited number

04:50of spears, and you've got to have the best guy throw the spear because if you miss, the

04:53animal startles and runs away and so on, right?

04:56So the best dead eye dick has to get the spear.

05:01It's a raw meritocracy.

05:02You don't give it to, you know, roomy, squinty-eyed 70-year-old Bob.

05:06You give it to, you know, dead-eyed, perfect aim, dead-eyed dick, right?

05:12So you need a raw meritocracy for men.

05:16Otherwise, it doesn't survive.

05:18If the guy who's best at making the swords is the guy who has to make the swords because

05:22you don't want your sword breaking the first time you try and hit someone over the head

05:25with it.

05:26So the guy who's best at making fences makes the fences, otherwise the animals get away.

05:31So you just need a raw meritocracy on the male side.

05:35On the female side, what do women do?

05:38Well, women have to equalize the food consumption between their children.

05:43Let's say the woman lays out a whole bunch of food and a 15-year-old, a 10-year-old,

05:48and a 5-year-old are all just given free reign to get whatever they want.

05:51Well, the 15-year-old is going to take most of the food.

05:54The 10-year-old is going to take a lesser amount of food because he's elbowed aside by

05:57the 15-year-old and the 5-year-old gets virtually nothing, which means that the 5-year-old is

06:02less likely to survive because he's less energy to fuel his immune system, less energy for

06:06less consumption.

06:09So what do women have to do?

06:10Women have to forcibly take resources from the older children to make sure the younger

06:15children have enough, that distribution should undo excess, and each man, each boy, each girl

06:19have enough.

06:20That's what women do.

06:22That's what their instinct is, and it's a beautiful thing.

06:24It's why we're all here, ladies and gentlemen.

06:27The fact that men take on a lot of dangerous labor, women take on their dangerous labor, which

06:33is childbirth, men operate on a raw meritocracy, and women operate on forced redistribution

06:39of resources.

06:41So when women see a child who has too much, and has to use force, if necessary, to take

06:49the resources from the child who has too much and give it to the child who has less.

06:54Women, of course, need to take resources from themselves in excess of what they need when

06:58they're breastfeeding and big with child because they need to provide the extra calories

07:02to the fetus and then to the baby through breastfeeding.

07:06So when men have a lot of power, they work to create a raw meritocracy called the free

07:14market, and then charity is held and formed usually by the women.

07:18It's a beautiful thing.

07:20The free market generates the resources.

07:21The women voluntarily, through charity, redistribute the resources, and the men make sure that the

07:26redistribution is not exploited by people, oh, I can't work, pretending to be ill, and so

07:30on, right?

07:30Or, and you keep resources away from people making bad decisions who have the capacity

07:37to make better decisions, and you give resources to people who, largely through no fault of

07:41their own, are disabled or, you know, not able to provide for their own resources, but

07:46not through malingering and not through manipulation, but through genuine wrong, which needs a certain

07:51amount of intimate knowledge of people, which women in a community have, and that's why that

07:55sort of works.

07:55So when men get power, we like free speech, because we're going to constantly argue about

08:00the best way to do things, because that's how we figure out the best way to do things.

08:04We want free markets, because raw meritocracy is how society functions and thrives.

08:09When women get political power, their instinct is to use coercion to redistribute resources from

08:16the more able to the less able, because they're programmed to deal with children throughout almost

08:21all of their evolution.

08:23So when women get political power, which they do in general when their vote is universalized,

08:29because women vote more, live longer, and so on, then women use the state to force redistribute

08:38resources from the more able to the less able.

08:41This is why when women vote, you get the welfare state, you get old age pensions, you get unemployment

08:46insurance, all of these sorts of things, because women's instinct is to use force to redistribute

08:51resources, because they're designed to deal with children, for the most part.

08:56And men's instinct is to have, you know, free speech, argumentation, raw meritocracy, focus

09:01on facts, not feelings, and that's what men do.

09:04And again, the combination of the two, we keep looking at these things like one is right

09:09and one is wrong.

09:10Now, the use of force is wrong, and the use of force to redistribute resources among adults,

09:16right, is wrong.

09:18And this is why women are so susceptible to things like the marginalized, the vulnerable,

09:23the excluded, right?

09:25They have this sort of, oh, the lonely child who's not getting resources, we have to give

09:29that child resources, because otherwise the child's going to die, and whether it's my

09:33child or another child in the tribe, it's what we need, because to invest that amount

09:39of energy into a child, have the child die, is a wretched waste, and it's heartbreaking

09:43and all of that.

09:43So it's not like either one is right or wrong.

09:47The application of force makes it all wrong, but men's instincts for vociferous, argumentative

09:54free speech and a raw meritocracy called the free market is a beautiful thing.

10:01Women's desire to take care of the vulnerable is a beautiful thing.

10:05Now, adding politics in the mix makes it terrible all around.

10:09But this is why, say, well, why weren't women out there hunting?

10:14It's like because if women were out there hunting, they weren't having and raising children,

10:17which meant that the tribe declined and died off.

10:19If women were out there hunting, well, they can't throw as far, they can't throw as strongly,

10:25and so the animals get spooked and the calorie consumption collapses and everyone gets sick

10:30or dies or gets taken over or something like that.

10:32So it wasn't like men woke up every morning like rubbing their little invisible mustaches

10:37and saying, ah, how can we possibly benefit our frail, fragile male egos by crushing women

10:45underfoot?

10:46No, no, no.

10:46It was a team effort.

10:48It was a team effort to produce the most magnificent thing in the known universe, which is the human

10:53mind.

10:53And yes, that meant keeping women away from the meritocracy, and it meant keeping men away

10:59from the forced egalitarianism that characterizes the most successful way to raise children.

11:05Men died by the bucket load.

11:07Women died a little bit less, maybe half as much, sometimes a third as much.

11:12And it was brutal for everyone.

11:14And all of the sophists out there trying to sow division, hatred, discord, and so on, it's

11:21wretched.

11:21It's civilizational ending.

11:23It destroys our capacity to pair bond, to love, to respect.

11:27You know, I love what women have done with the world.

11:31I really do.

11:31I love what women do in my household.

11:34I live with two lovely females who make this place a paradise, so I'm not sleeping on my old

11:40broken futon when I was a single guy and watching a TV propped up on the cardboard

11:44box that came in.

11:45So it's a beautiful thing.

11:46What women do is wonderful.

11:48Women's charity, women's community, all of that stuff is beautiful.

11:52What men do is beautiful and magnificent and wonderful.

11:55I've got the free speech argumentation that improves human thought and tries to find the

12:00best solutions, which again, there's lots of overlaps.

12:02Women participate in that, and men participate in charity.

12:04We're just talking about general trends, and they're overlapping bell curves, but we're

12:09talking about in general.

12:10So what men do is beautiful in the creation of wealth and the raw meritocracy.

12:15What women do is beautiful in the egalitarianism and the taking care of the less fortunate.

12:20It should all be voluntary.

12:21It's the addition of politics that makes it so bad.

12:23But my beg and my plea to you, my friends, is to do the following.

12:27We have the greatest, glorious, most glorious, beautiful gift in the known universe, which

12:34is our human minds.

12:35If we use it to appreciate, to thank, to respect, to enjoy the horrible furnaces that produce

12:46this human mind, this great glory of existence called the human brain.

12:50If we use it for gratitude, ah, ah, that's love, that's pair bonding, that's connection.

12:58Men, we should love what women provide and recognize that corruption, which is largely

13:03focused on women, political corruption largely focused on women because they tend to score

13:06higher in the trait agreeableness.

13:09So women are heavily propagandized and men are kind of tossed to the side until we're needed

13:13for war.

13:13So recognize that the problem is politics, the problem is the initiation of the use of

13:19force that characterizes political systems, and that we're all corrupted by power.

13:24Men can also be corrupted by lust and greed and envy, and women can be corrupted by vanity

13:32and lots of things.

13:33And sophists are out there constantly trying to corrupt us.

13:35So what I'm saying is for men, look at women as the beautiful creatures that they are that

13:39are responsible for the foundation of our giant brains.

13:44They go through a lot to produce them, trust me.

13:47And women look at men as, you know, we're beautiful creatures.

13:50We love to provide and protect, and we should really genuinely appreciate and love each other.

13:57And if you can achieve that place of massive gratitude of men for the female, a massive gratitude

14:05of women for the male, ah, then you enter into the most beautiful stained glass cathedral

14:12of human existence, which is pair-bonded romantic love.

14:17And the sophists are keeping you from that beautiful cathedral through resentment, and I

14:22would invite you to let go of the resentment, appreciate everything that got us here,

14:27and love, love, love.

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