- 5 days ago
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CreativityTranscript
00:00Do, do, do, do, do
00:30Do-do-do-wah.
00:31Do-do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do.
00:37Do-do-do-do-do-do-wah.
00:40Do-do-do-do-do-do-wah.
00:46No, no, no.
00:47That's a nice...
00:49That's a take.
00:50Thank you, dear.
00:55Isn't it time we went back to the class?
00:57We're okay yet.
00:58We wait for Giovanni.
00:59Come and sit down, Sid. Charlie, this is Sid the caretaker.
01:05Most happy to be making you, acquaintance.
01:08Nice to meet you.
01:10You want a cup of coffee, Sid?
01:12Aye, a cup of coffee.
01:14No, thanks. Now I shouldn't have a fag.
01:16Sure you can have a fag.
01:18Hey, Max, cigarette for Sid.
01:20Ha, very kind of you.
01:29Sid is gonna talk to us.
01:31What is he going to be talking about?
01:33Well, anything. It's to improve our English.
01:35Instead of us all the time speak to each other, we speak with Sid.
01:39I think that's a good idea.
01:42What are we gonna talk about?
01:44You like to talk up. I'm a bit Martin Jeff.
01:47Excuse me, who are these Martin Jeff?
01:52Martin Jeff is deaf.
01:54Ah, excuse me. What are we gonna talk about?
01:57Oh, I don't. I shouldn't see you and rest me plates of meat.
02:02Excuse me, please.
02:03I am not seeing any plates of meat.
02:07No, no. Plates of meat is feet.
02:10Your feet are plates of meat?
02:13Yeah. It's slang, you see.
02:15It's dead easy if you use your Uncle Ned.
02:18No, no, no, Uncle Ned.
02:20Huh?
02:21No, Uncle Ned. Your Uncle Ned.
02:23Uncle Ned? Uncle Ned?
02:25Yeah.
02:26Oh, you mean he's crazy?
02:28No, I think you like, I don't.
02:30I think you're taking the mickey out of me.
02:32No.
02:33Well, we're interested in everything you tell us.
02:36Yeah.
02:37You're already teaching us words we've not learned before.
02:39Yes, please teach us more.
02:40Yeah?
02:41Alright, I'll tell you what happened to me last night.
02:43Yes, please.
02:44Well, I went home and I had a bull and a cow with a troubling stripe, you see.
02:48It was all over the dustbin lids.
02:50So I went down the frog and towed into the rubber dump and I met an old guy on the plate.
02:54It looked a bit Uncle Dick, so I got him a jack and a dandy and I had a beer than this.
03:00Don't feed that to the humble, we both got Brahms and Liszt.
03:04And I'd staggered them, took all me dicky dirt and me daisy roots and fell backwards on the apples and pears.
03:14Now, we are better off talking with each other.
03:19Isn't it time you were all back in the classroom?
03:22Sorry, probably sorry.
03:23We've just been talking with Seth.
03:25Oh, yeah.
03:26I've been trying to help them with their English, Mr. Brown.
03:28Well, that should set them back a few weeks.
03:30I beg pardon?
03:31Oh, it doesn't matter.
03:32Oh, alright.
03:33We're not understanding a word he's saying, Mr. Brown.
03:36He's telling us about his Uncle Dick and somebody called Jack the Dandy and Brahms and Liszt.
03:43He was speaking in rhyming slang.
03:45And all the time we think he's English.
03:48He is English.
03:50He's what is known as a cockney.
03:51You see, rhyming slang is merely using words that rhyme with the word you wish to use.
03:55For example, mince pies are eyes.
03:58Plates of meat are feet.
04:00Yes.
04:01I understand.
04:02Uncle Ned is head.
04:03That's right.
04:04And what is Uncle Dick?
04:10I presume that's sick.
04:12Jock the Dandy.
04:13Brandy.
04:14And the Brahms and Lister.
04:15Drunk.
04:16That's not a rhyme.
04:17Yeah, well, it's near enough.
04:18Come on, it's a...
04:19What is going on in here?
04:20Where is Mr. Brown?
04:21Oh, he will be here any minute.
04:22He's coming from the tea room.
04:23Bravo.
04:25Ha, ha, ha.
04:26Ten minutes is the normal time allowed for tea, Mr. Brown.
04:28Yes, of course.
04:29We were discussing parts of speech.
04:30Well, in future I'd be obliged if you'd do it in the class.
04:32Certainly.
04:33Now then, how are your students coming along with their English?
04:34Oh, extremely well.
04:35Good.
04:36Then I shall stay and listen for a few minutes.
04:37Ah.
04:38Don't worry, I shall not interfere.
04:39I make it a practice to drop in on classes from time to time to see what sort of progress
04:43is being made.
04:44It's, uh, beef stroganoff in the cookery class tonight.
04:45Are you trying to get rid of me?
04:46No, I just thought you might, uh, fancy a bit.
04:47I, I mean...
04:48Well, I don't.
04:49So will you please begin with me?
04:50Well, I don't.
04:51So will you please begin with me?
04:52Oh, shall I be obliged if you do it in the class?
04:53Certainly.
04:54Now then, how are your students coming along with their English?
04:55Oh, extremely well.
04:56Good.
04:57Then I shall stay and listen for a few minutes.
04:58Ah.
04:59Don't worry, I shall not interfere.
05:00I make it a practice to drop in on classes from time to time to see what sort of progress is being
05:01made.
05:02It's, uh, beef stroganoff in the cookery class tonight.
05:05Are you trying to get rid of me?
05:06No, I just thought you might, uh, fancy a bit.
05:08I, I mean...
05:12Well, I don't.
05:13So will you please begin?
05:14Yes, of course, of course.
05:15Right.
05:16For the rest of this period, we're going to talk about shopping.
05:19Oh, I like him.
05:21He's very good.
05:24Pardon?
05:25Shopping.
05:26I like his polonaise.
05:27Bom-ba-bom.
05:29Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bom.
05:31Bom-ba-bom.
05:32Brum-ba-bom.
05:33Brum-ba-bom.
05:34Giovanni, that's, um, that's Chopin.
05:36He must have misheard me.
05:37No, we're going to talk about shopping, buying things.
05:40Now, I have here various items which at some time or another you'll all probably have to purchase.
05:45So I'm going to hold them up and ask you to identify them and we'll see how well you do.
05:48All right?
05:49Who shall we start with?
05:50Ali?
05:51Yes, please.
05:52What is this?
05:53Apple.
05:54Yeah.
05:56Lovely.
05:57Jelly good.
05:58You're not supposed to eat it.
06:00Oh, I'm most sorry.
06:01I only had a small bite.
06:03You might as well finish it now.
06:06Shuli, what is this?
06:08It is ol-inch.
06:09Brrr.
06:10Brrr.
06:11O-rinj.
06:12O-l-rinj.
06:13That's better.
06:14You really must work at those R sounds.
06:17I try very hard.
06:18Try saying, round the rugged rock the ragged rascal round.
06:24Lound the lugged lock the ragged rascal round.
06:26Yes, you're going to have to keep practising.
06:28Anna, what is this?
06:29Paper bag.
06:30Yes.
06:31Yes, but what's inside it?
06:32I do not know.
06:33I cannot see inside.
06:34Well, it's flour.
06:35You know what flour is.
06:36Yeah, what you wear at a wedding.
06:37No, no, no.
06:38It's not that kind of flour.
06:39This is flour to make pastry and bread.
06:40Ah, Weissmail.
06:41Yes.
06:42Jamila?
06:43What is this?
06:44Gadgeth.
06:45Yes, I'm sure you're right, but what is it in English?
06:46English.
06:47Have you never heard of a carrot?
06:48Carrot.
06:49No, no, I cannot see inside.
06:50Well, it's flour.
06:51You know what flour is.
06:52Yeah, what you wear at a wedding.
06:53No, no, no.
06:54It's not that kind of flour.
06:55This is flour to make pastry and bread.
06:56Ah, Weissmail.
06:57Yes.
06:58Jamila?
06:59Yes.
07:00What is this?
07:01Gadgeth.
07:02Yes, I'm sure you're right, but what is it in English?
07:06In English.
07:07Have you never heard of a carrot?
07:11Carrot.
07:12Carrot.
07:13Yes.
07:14Carrot.
07:15Oh, huh.
07:16Horse and carrot.
07:18Incredible.
07:19No, no, no, no, Jamila.
07:20That's horse and cart.
07:21This is...
07:22This is a carrot.
07:23Right?
07:24Ah, who can tell me what these are?
07:26Fish fingers.
07:27Good.
07:28Well done.
07:29Excuse, please.
07:30No, Ali, don't say it.
07:31What do I not say?
07:32You were going to say something about fish not having fingers.
07:33Good.
07:34Well done.
07:35Excuse, please.
07:36No, Ali, don't say it.
07:37What do I not say?
07:38You were going to say something about fish not having fingers.
07:40Yes, please.
07:41Yeah, we don't know.
07:42Matt.
07:43Tomato.
07:44Good.
07:45Tarot.
07:46Potato.
07:47Potato.
07:48Ah, soap.
07:49Plant, er... Giovanni.
07:50Lime juice.
07:51Good.
07:52Juan?
07:53Cow juice.
07:54No, no, no.
07:55No.
07:56No.
07:57No.
07:58No.
07:59No.
08:00No.
08:01No.
08:02No.
08:03No.
08:04No.
08:05No.
08:06�.
08:11Milk?
08:12Ah, si, milk.
08:13Do you know where you get milk from Juan?
08:16Si signora.
08:18The milk man, sir.
08:19Quiet, please.
08:21We...
08:22We get milk from cows.
08:25Si, back-a, cow.
08:26Oh.
08:27Ranjit!
08:30Cornflakes?
08:32No oats.
08:34Oats?
08:36Ah, that is oats.
08:38My friend, who I'm working with,
08:40every morning he's telling me
08:42last night he's having his oats.
08:49He's telling me
08:50he's wiping down very much.
08:52Yeah, I'm sure he does.
08:54Who can tell me what this is?
08:57Bacon.
08:58Good.
08:59And where does bacon come from?
09:01The milkman.
09:05Bacon does not come from the milkman.
09:07Every week I buy the bacon from the milkman.
09:10Pig! Pig!
09:12Pig?
09:13You are calling me a pig?
09:15You are a pig, you Italian ravioli.
09:19Ah, shut your plates of meat, you uncle.
09:22All right, that'll do.
09:25Juan, what Giovanni was trying to say
09:27is that bacon comes from a pig.
09:29Sora!
09:31Now, can anyone tell me what we call a pig
09:34after it has been killed?
09:36Yes, please.
09:37It is dead pig.
09:39Amazing!
09:41No, Ali, you know that's pork.
09:46Right.
09:47What is this?
09:48Anybody?
09:49Tin of meat.
09:50Yes.
09:51Well, actually, it's a tin of dog meat.
09:53Oh, blimey.
09:55You are putting dogs in tents to eat?
09:58I think I've heard enough.
10:00They are better than they were.
10:01They could hardly be worse.
10:03Yes.
10:06She's absolutely right, you know.
10:07Some of you are very behind with your English.
10:09I mean, I spend a lot of time preparing these lessons
10:10and some of you don't take them half as seriously as you might.
10:13It's time you all put your shoulders to the wheel.
10:15What wheel, please?
10:17Learning.
10:18I think you'd better stay a half hour extra tonight.
10:22It's Friday night!
10:23Haven't I got a date?
10:24Well, I don't care.
10:25I want you to do all the exercises on page 53.
10:27All of them.
10:28And you don't go until you've finished.
10:48Good night.
10:54I've locked up the tea room, Sid.
10:57Thanks, Glad.
10:58You fancy a drink, girl?
11:00No, child.
11:01I want to get home.
11:02Oh, I must have a pint.
11:03My throat's spitting feathers.
11:04Oh.
11:07All right.
11:10What was that?
11:11I think it is somebody at the door.
11:13Come in.
11:24Hello?
11:25Is anybody there?
11:30That's him.
11:33All right.
11:35Cheerio, Sid.
11:36See you Monday.
11:38Good night, Betty.
11:54Oh, it's no good.
11:55I can't get it open.
11:56I know.
11:57Why not we smash the door up?
11:58Down.
11:59It's worth a try.
12:00All right.
12:01Stand back, everyone.
12:02Be careful of splinters.
12:03You haven't broken the door.
12:04I think I've broken my arm.
12:05We are all going to die.
12:06I know.
12:07Why not we smash the door up?
12:08Down.
12:09It's worth a try.
12:10All right.
12:11Stand back, everyone.
12:12Be careful of splinters.
12:13Don't be so dramatic.
12:14Maybe they all shout again.
12:15I don't think my throat could stand anymore.
12:16Hey, look.
12:17There's a man in the street.
12:18Help!
12:19Help!
12:20Help!
12:21Help!
12:22Help!
12:23Help!
12:24Help!
12:25Help!
12:26Help!
12:27Help!
12:28Help!
12:29Help!
12:30Help!
12:31Help!
12:32Help!
12:33Help!
12:34Help!
12:35Stand back, everyone.
12:36Be careful of splinters.
12:37Be careful of splinters.
12:38You haven't broken the door.
12:39You haven't broken the door.
12:40I think I've broken my arm.
12:41Help!
12:42Help!
12:43Help!
12:44Help!
12:45Help!
12:46If you don't hear us from up here, wave to him.
12:48He's seen us.
12:49Good.
12:50He's waving back.
12:52It's the obvious who thinks we're just being friendly.
12:56Ah, he's gone.
12:58We are all going to die.
13:00Nobody is going to die.
13:03What we need is something to attract the attention of the passer-by.
13:07Yeah.
13:08Danielle should wave from window by herself.
13:10Yes.
13:11It still may not be sufficient to attract enough attention.
13:13It would if she took her clothes off.
13:16That's a good idea.
13:18No, it isn't.
13:19No, it isn't.
13:20Sit down, everyone.
13:21Go on.
13:22We'll just have to think this one out.
13:25There must be a simple solution.
13:27Well, if there isn't, we'll just have to stay here till somebody misses one of us.
13:31But what if nobody is missing anybody?
13:34We could be being stuck here together until Monday morning.
13:38Oh, I'm not.
13:39We are all going to die.
13:41Ali, nobody is going to die.
13:44Only you is going to die.
13:46Me?
13:47Yes, because if you say we're all going to die once more, I shall strangle you.
13:50There are 11 of us here.
13:51It's quite obvious that sooner or later one of us will be missed.
13:54Will you be being missed, sir?
13:56Well, no, but I live alone in a flat.
13:58But for example, take Danielle.
14:00I would love to take Danielle.
14:03I am sure that being an au pair, your English family will miss you when you don't return.
14:07No.
14:08They're away for the weekend.
14:10Oh.
14:11Well, Anna, what about your English family?
14:13Are they away?
14:14No.
14:15They'll obviously be worried.
14:16No.
14:17No?
14:18With my weekend off, I was spending it mid-Daniel.
14:20Oh.
14:21We are all going to die.
14:23Ali!
14:25Well, Tara, what about you?
14:26You're married.
14:27I mean, won't your wife miss you?
14:30Wife.
14:31Already missing me.
14:32Well, there you are.
14:34Unfortunately, she is with parents in Tokyo.
14:41Well, what about you, Giovanni?
14:43I mean, you work in a restaurant.
14:44Surely your employer will miss you.
14:46Yeah, sure he's going to miss me.
14:47Yeah.
14:48So, presumably, he'll do something about it.
14:50Yeah.
14:51He's going to give me the sack.
14:56Look, somebody is bound to miss somebody.
14:58And if the worst happens, then we'll...
15:01Well, don't worry.
15:02We can survive the weekend.
15:03We've got plenty of food and drink.
15:05Just have to keep our spirits up.
15:06Try and keep cheerful.
15:07Think of things to do to pass the time away.
15:09I tell a joke.
15:10Good idea, Giovanni.
15:11We'll all tell jokes.
15:12That'll help pass the time.
15:13Go ahead, Giovanni.
15:14Okay.
15:15Now, there was this man, see, and he had gangrene in the lake.
15:19Oh, sure.
15:20So, are you sure this is a joke?
15:23Sure, it's a very funny.
15:28Anyway, he goes to the hospital to have the leg chopped off.
15:33After the operation, when he comes back to being conscious, he sees the doctor looking
15:39very worried.
15:41What's the matter, doctor, he say?
15:44The doctor reply,
15:46Signor, I've the bad news and I've the good news.
15:52And the doctor say, I've chopped off the wrong leg.
16:05Santa Maria, the man say.
16:07Well, what's the good news?
16:09And the doctor say, your other leg is getting better.
16:17Well, that's not a joke.
16:20But that's not a joke.
16:22Very true.
16:24Ah, another uncle name.
16:27Has anyone else got a funny story?
16:30Do you know it take two seeks to milk one goat?
16:37Two?
16:38Yes, please.
16:39One to be holding the tits, and one to be filling the goat up and down, up and down.
16:45And do you know that in Pakistan they have no ice?
16:52Because the man who is knowing to be making ice has emigrated.
16:58Are you saying all Pakistanis are stupid?
17:02No.
17:03Just you!
17:04You!
17:05Sit down.
17:06No more racialist jokes, please.
17:08Anybody else got a funny story?
17:10A funny story?
17:12A joke?
17:13A joke?
17:14A joke?
17:15Ah, chiste?
17:16Yo tengo uno.
17:21Resulta que habÃan tres hermanos, y estos tres hermanos estaban invitados a este convite, ¿no?
17:28And they told them that they had sand.
17:32One had sand, the other had sand, and the other had sand.
17:38And when they were eating, they had sand.
17:44They had sand.
17:46And they said...
17:48I knew they had sand.
17:50And they told them they just got sand.
17:52Up these wings.
17:54There we go.
17:56I knew they had sand.
17:58They told them they wanted sand.
18:00They gave sand.
18:02And then they said...
18:04It was just the sixth grade.
18:08And they said...
18:10And they said...
18:12Yes, well, I'm sure that was extremely hilarious, if you only knew what it was about.
18:26Taro, what about a Japanese joke? In English, please.
18:29Older, Japanese power of sale. Men, who seduces girl on hillside, not on the level.
18:50That's very clever.
18:52Su Li, what about a sample of Chinese humor?
18:56In the Democratic Republic of China, we have no time for decadent bourgeois humor.
19:02No, I don't suppose you do.
19:05Danielle, what about you?
19:07Oh, I have a French joke for you.
19:09Good.
19:09Yes, I'll tell you about the Catholic priest.
19:12That sounds better, yes. Come on. No, no, no.
19:14Tell us you look.
19:15Well, there was this priest out working, and a gendarme comes up to him and says,
19:27Farza, come quickly. There's a man on top of the Eiffel Tower, and he's going to jump.
19:32So, the father goes to the tower and sees this man.
19:35What are you doing? You're mad. Think of your family. Think of your wife.
19:42So, the man, he says, My wife has left me. I have no family.
19:47So, I jump.
19:48So, the priest, he tries one more time.
19:51So, he says, But it is a sin against the Catholic Church.
19:56And the man, he says, I am not a Catholic.
19:59Okay, says the priest, jump.
20:08Yes, and now, what about a German joke?
20:10I do not know any jokes.
20:13Hey, Professor, why don't you tell us a joke, huh?
20:16Yeah!
20:19Oh, all right. I'll tell you one that I heard at my last school.
20:22One of the boys was sent home one day, and his father asked him why was he sent home,
20:25and he refused to tell him.
20:26So, the father went to see the headmaster, and the headmaster said,
20:28I'll tell you why your son was sent home.
20:30When one of the teachers asked him who pushed over the walls of Jericho,
20:34he said it wasn't me.
20:35So, the father said, Well, if he said he didn't do it, he didn't do it.
20:41Excuse me, please.
20:42What's the matter, Ali? Didn't you understand the joke?
20:44Yes, but what I don't understand,
20:47who did push down the walls of Jericho?
20:52Oh, well, anybody else got a joke?
20:54No? Oh, never mind.
20:56What about a sing-song?
20:57Yeah.
20:58I am knowing good English sing-song,
21:00all about rolling me over in the clover.
21:05So, I don't think you've got that one, thank you.
21:07Uh, does anybody know Daisy?
21:09Is she beautiful?
21:12No, it's a song, Daisy.
21:14It goes like this.
21:15Daisy, Daisy,
21:17Give me your answer, too.
21:19I'm half crazy
21:23Oh, for the love of you
21:25Oh, well,
21:27I know we'll meet again
21:31Some sunny day
21:35A song, I know we'll meet again
21:39Excellent.
21:41Oh, well, I know.
21:48Right, what shall we sing next?
21:50Can't we have a rest?
21:51I don't know that one
21:52Is it French?
21:54Oh, yes, I think you mean
21:55Uh, yes, I'm sorry
21:56Uh, can anybody tell me
21:58the exact time?
22:00Three minutes
22:01No, three minutes
22:03after eleven
22:04Good, only another 58 hours
22:06till Monday morning
22:07Good night, John
22:10Good night, John
22:11Good night, John
22:11Good night, John
22:12Good night, John
22:12Good night, John
22:13Good night, John
22:13Good night, John
22:14Good night, John
22:14What?
22:15My wife's an angel
22:16You're lucky
22:17Mine's still living
22:18Hello
22:19What's up?
22:23Hello
22:23What's up?
22:25I must be as drunk as you are
22:27There's a teacher waving at me
22:29through the window
22:30I mean, I must be worse
22:31than I thought
22:32I can see him
22:34and I don't even know him
22:35I hope you haven't
22:42dragged me down here
22:43on a wild goose chase
22:44I'm telling you
22:44I definitely saw him
22:46It's most inconvenient
22:47It's not my fault
22:49if I lost the key
22:49in the front door
22:50Of course it's your fault
22:51you silly little man
22:52Ah, at last
22:56Miss Courtney
22:57how nice to see you
22:58I'm afraid I can't return
23:00the compliment
23:00Come on, come on
23:01on you go
23:02Good night
23:03Sorry about all that
23:04Come on now
23:05Good night
23:06Good night
23:06Good night
23:07Good night
23:07Quickly
23:08I'll go and see
23:10if there's anybody else about
23:12I really am very sorry
23:14I should hope you are
23:16I hope it hasn't inconvenienced you
23:17Well, of course it inconvenienced me
23:19I was quite happily curled up in bed
23:21with Daphne du Maurier
23:22I am really sorry about this
23:25Oh, I've...
23:27Now what's the matter?
23:28Well, I've left my shopping
23:29in the closet
23:29Well, for heaven's sake
23:30hurry up and get it
23:31Thank you
23:31For heaven's sake
23:41are you going to take all night?
23:42No, no, I'm just putting these things away
23:43Well, do hurry up
23:44Sid?
23:55Sid!
23:57Sid me!
24:00We're locked in
24:01Oh, we're going to last in panic
24:02We can last out till Monday morning
24:03Have a carrot
24:04Let's have a sing-song, shall we?
24:05Shall we start with Daisy?
24:06There it goes
24:06Daisy, Daisy
24:08To be at church
24:10Who will do the other year
24:10called
24:11The Mill
24:12Who will do the other show
24:12And this night
24:15That night
24:16says
24:17Yeah
24:17Of the
24:33Who will do the other shows,
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