- 5 days ago
A millennial couple in a long-term relationship break up amid a nuclear missile crisis in LA ( HD )
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00how was that it's not it I'll tell you that oh come on it's not happening yet
00:00:18but I swear we are almost done and then you can go back to bed babe it's 8 13
00:00:24on a Saturday I'm wearing makeup and my nice pajamas my heart rate is increasing
00:00:29look so beautiful I'm just asking you to relax believe me I'm trying I know but
00:00:37also like you don't look happy like smiling yeah but you know you're
00:00:40sleeping why would I smile when I'm asleep that's creepy you're not taking
00:00:44this seriously it's very frustrating to me wait where are you going just take the
00:00:54fucking photo mask up mask up
00:01:01I fucking love it great you're happy yeah I'm happy
00:01:09no what nothing is that just a troll comment what I want to see you don't
00:01:21have to look at it it's kind of hurtful oh my god what an asshole who would say
00:01:24that I'm gonna hit him back you don't need to hit him back you're not good at
00:01:28insults you are stupid ugly jerk with an ugly mean soul okay so you need more
00:01:34than that because that's definitely not gonna really hit him back okay fucking
00:01:36fucker that's pretty good you loser living in your hormones basement more
00:01:41than I think is did you really post that I did you posted it my gal where'd it go
00:01:46you don't have that big a head thank you I'm sensitive about it and you're not
00:01:54basic
00:02:00we should take it down a hundred percent I think it's too much I don't want my
00:02:04co-workers seeing my angry but it's gone it's gone it's done let me take
00:02:08look another photo later yeah yeah yeah let's just enjoy the morning
00:02:12yeah
00:02:19what's up shepherds just want to update you on the new piece oh please head over to
00:02:25my Etsy page and order anything you guys need birthday anniversary whatever I got
00:02:32you actually speaking of anniversary the one I'm working on is actually kind of
00:02:37personal so Mandy and I we met five years ago we were in college she was coming off
00:02:43a breakup I was coming off mono and we just fell madly in love country together we
00:02:50took shifts driving we bought our first house my parents bought the house but you
00:02:54know we picked it I like home remember when I saw my first piece Mandy made such a big deal
00:03:01out of it it felt like I made it then Mandy's career took off she got promoted
00:03:06and she never looked back but I did help pick out the pantsuits after five years
00:03:11there's nobody else I'd rather be on this crazy road called life with and
00:03:15that's kind of what makes this piece so personal it's the story the first time
00:03:19we met I'm living in New York at the time working on some stuff in the park out of
00:03:24nowhere this rainstorm so I'm rambling to find shelter and I end up under this
00:03:36cherry blossom tree and I look over and she's there too and I mean our eyes just
00:03:44filled with hearts and the rest is history all right I gotta go guys thank you so much for
00:03:52watching I swear I will keep you guys updated on everything I gotta go Shep out bye guys
00:03:58OMG you are so good you're so sweet thanks for following she's a lucky girl
00:04:14she's the best kiss emoji
00:04:23oh fancy coffee sounds like an interesting version of events
00:04:39oh that's our story I mean it's one we made up for you know my family for Thanksgiving but
00:04:45that's been the story oh I thought we decided on the one where we met at my work Christmas party
00:04:50and we were both shitface on nods that was a variation you only did that one time cousin's
00:04:54wedding racist grandma was there she hears cherry blossoms triggers Asians in her head and then
00:04:59it's a horrible series of right right right hard to keep track I just mean it just sounds super
00:05:06romantic yeah I hope so because if I don't lose some material soon I am officially in a dry spell
00:05:12Shep I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go
00:05:18I think we have to come to terms with where this is heading I mean neither of us are happy with this
00:05:24situation right we both need to figure out what's best for the team you sound like one of those HPV
00:05:32testing commercials I'm just trying to let him down easy I can't help if my advertising voice kicks
00:05:37in yeah but if you sugarcoat everything he'll think you're not serious you have to break him well what
00:05:43do you want me to say say the magic is gone say you need to feel again say things haven't been the
00:05:50same since he got you pregnant in college and forced you to give up your dreams to live in Burbank
00:05:54fuck you Alan I feel like you're bringing some personal baggage into this what every couple months you
00:06:01get all wound up like you're gonna end things and then you always bitch out well it's not like I
00:06:05don't love him it just seems like we're going through the motions something's missing we don't
00:06:11have any of the little batteries that surprise just get Netflix I promise you all the shows are there
00:06:19just open the app you'll be so happy how's the drawing going well it's really good actually I got some new
00:06:28followers and some commissions actually came in finally actually there's something I kind of want to tell you
00:06:33guys oh boy I got the artist residency in Oregon had you told us about that before that sounds
00:06:42fantastic though does it pay like a job so it's a state-run grant and so basically I get to you know
00:06:49make art for a year and they'll just pay all my living expenses which is really dope oh I see so so
00:06:55what happens to our tenants what happens they'll be in Oregon just rent out the place for a year we'll
00:07:00be back in a year won't be a big deal and Mandy's okay pulling up stakes just like that yeah Mandy and
00:07:07I are doing great and I've been sort of seeing this other guy really another guy already what's that
00:07:15supposed to mean what's his name I was talking I don't want to get into it Mandy I am married and at
00:07:22home with two horrendous children give me this please fine his name is Nick I met him through work
00:07:32he's an athlete wow I get it how long you been hitting that I haven't hit anything we just talk a lot oh I
00:07:41I don't know what to do or how to tell Shep why just fucking triceps all right great talk Beth
00:07:48oh if you feel this strongly about it Shep's probably thinking the same thing strip the bandaid off
00:07:54yeah you're right good luck tell Shep I said hi and bye
00:08:00hey girl just woke up thinking about you wink face
00:08:21I can get the deliverables in Stacey by Friday but I'm not sure if we're gonna have time for the team meeting before then which is what I'm actually really concerned about
00:08:29so that I know hi hey good morning how's it going great great um we will have our regular order of two ethical omelets with side of greens instead of hash browns this time the greens just came in they are super fresh and no phone zone
00:08:52really fresh so you really take that no phone zone thing seriously don't you oh yeah it's all about atmosphere here
00:09:02I guess so okay okay um is there any way I can just throw in a side of a biscuit
00:09:08all right have one biscuit 28 42
00:09:13Shep I thought we had an agreement solidarity diet you know I am slightly allergic to gluten
00:09:19I know I promise I'm gonna eat it real fast you're not gonna feel a thing
00:09:23food will be right out you guys have a self-caring day
00:09:25thank you
00:09:26you know what it is it's like I get that these plays want to be cool and hippie but like at a certain point
00:09:31oh hey it's the online marketing team oh do you want to go talk to us we want to talk to
00:09:36hey guys how's it going what's up I didn't know you like this place oh I love this spot bottomless
00:09:41mimosas every every Saturday can't go wrong yeah yeah oh um this is my
00:09:47boyfriend right Shep you guys are still together yep yeah we're still together
00:09:56Mandy says you work from home that is so fun very fun but actually I just got this artist residency
00:10:03in Oregon so you did yeah it's only for a year but it's gonna be really fun it's really prestigious
00:10:09oh congrats it's nice because I just don't think we're corporate people you know so soul-sucking and sad
00:10:16and she's just kind of go get us a table okay great talking to you buddy seems like a nice guy
00:10:23he's he's really sweet I mean what a dick you're the one who's being a dick that's real nice I think
00:10:33the hot take from that conversation was you getting out artist residency yeah and not telling me about
00:10:38about it well I was gonna tell you about it when the day you packed your bags no I just figured we'd
00:10:44go you know my parents will rent out the place and we'll start fresh Shep I have a life here
00:10:51yeah I know but it's only for a year and by the way the Pacific Northwest is beautiful I can't just quit
00:11:00my job why not I mean honestly why not what an adventure you know we live in a car wanderlust
00:11:08hashtag van life maybe we're not those people anymore we grew up yeah no you're right we grew
00:11:16up and you know what we'll do long distance I'm gonna make it work you're gonna love it
00:11:20for a year yes for a year we'll make it work for you what do you want to do break up I mean come on
00:11:26uh I'm so relieved you brought this up what did I bring up the residency Shep I'm afraid we're
00:11:39going to have to let you go go to Oregon yeah no that's kind of what we're talking about I think
00:11:44we have to come to terms with where this is heading I mean neither of us are happy in this situation
00:11:50right we both need to figure out what's best for the team team what team we've had some great
00:11:58moments but change can be a good thing for both parties rehearsed you rehearsed this you rehearsed
00:12:07your breakups feature no yeah oh this is really hard for me I you just brought it up so casually I
00:12:17was kidding oh I was so clearly kidding so that's it so you just want to end this relationship right
00:12:25now I I don't know did I change did I lose the spark it's not you it's me other you know euphemisms
00:12:33Shep I have to tell you is that mine I don't know what if we do couples therapy or we can get a dog
00:12:41uh or we can you know maybe uh Shep you need to see this
00:12:48ballistic missile inbound gotta be a fake right I'll verify
00:12:56it's on my phone too it's on all my news alerts hashtag pray for LA is already trending
00:13:01people freaking out we wouldn't be able to see anything yet right would we no we wouldn't 45 minutes
00:13:15to an hour for a missile to make from Southeast Asia to here unless of course it's intercepted by a
00:13:19defense missile oh my god they're attacking their dog are we still breaking up all personnel take
00:13:27shelter immediately Los Angeles has the worst gridlock desperate parents put their children
00:13:32into shipping the tank the terrifying message screened across cell phones throughout the city
00:13:37the exact payload of these alleged missiles is anyone's guess they do know that it is headed
00:13:43straight to Los Angeles next up we'll have tips and tricks on how to avoid the blast and best stay
00:13:48alive during these dark moments oh my god get under your desk kids nuclear holocaust is coming
00:13:55oh my god stop we're gonna die we're gonna die and everyone's harry potter's land what land
00:14:02harry potter land it's amusement park and you get to drink potter beer and you get sorted
00:14:06and everyone gets sorted you're freaking out just breathe okay yeah i actually feel a lot better than
00:14:12i feel like i'm not gonna die sorry sorry fight or flight results okay it's okay let's just let's
00:14:19let's take a deep breath okay now let's not do anything rash we can end a relationship not really
00:14:31the time well is there ever a time people are getting out of town flight stop meet at the car five
00:14:43minutes you've changed we're on a timeline you're bringing the mixer favorite appliance plus you're
00:14:51bringing all those nintendos yeah because they increase in value both financially and sentimentally
00:14:56we're not bringing your hard drives this is my life's work you can always draw more pictures wow
00:15:02you're a monster fine then we're making space for my scrapbooks okay yes but but what your
00:15:08sentimental is more important than mine okay okay okay we just need to go we need to go please i'm
00:15:12gonna take my guitar you've never played it i might i might how is this going in have you ever played
00:15:18tetris 101 is backed up thanks for the update yeah well the four or five might be worse so i don't know
00:15:22you're using ways of course i'm using ways 101 take it we're good better be right i will be keep an
00:15:27eye on the road there are people there are people in the road i get it why did we listen to ways why
00:15:34did you ever listen to ways yeah i'm not doing this okay i don't want to be stuck in traffic if we're
00:15:41gonna get blown up all right let's go back okay let's go let's go back heads up we're coming back
00:15:52okay all right all right we gotta do so you gotta find some place we can get to on foot okay okay
00:16:00let me know if you need a place to be underground layer place we can find 10 fucking minutes
00:16:07what we spent 10 whole minutes sitting in traffic and and i don't know how much time we have left
00:16:14because every single news organization they're all saying something different and that's 10 whole
00:16:19minutes that i could have spent on on on what on yelling at me yeah i don't know
00:16:37look i'm scared too and if you want me to go or if you want to go whatever whatever makes you feel
00:16:43most comfortable it is totally okay with me this is as safe as anywhere this is home
00:16:59and so but to be clear though uh so we are still together we can we can break up after the world
00:17:05ends okay what do we do now i've got some ideas yeah yeah yeah yeah yo clock in when the moon strikes
00:17:17i do what a boss likes slow post they look twice cold bitch on my klondike fuck boys get curved tough
00:17:23when the girl gang gang go up make a beeline for the green room i get money to show up i'm speaking at grad night
00:17:29i'm living that draft life i'm sleeping like a baby i work hard and i act right that chick smoke paper
00:17:35planes pull bad boys on my lunch break oh i've never done that before i have no clue do we have
00:17:45any more nails or screws do you really think all this is necessary uh yeah there's looters outside
00:17:53these boarded up windows it's like all we have good call
00:17:55are you ready for this wait for what three two one tada
00:18:07really as far as coffins go this one isn't that bad
00:18:14are you gonna come in okay all right what did you make what did you do oh look at this
00:18:23as panic breaks out all across the city fred missoula brings us breaking news from our la streets
00:18:29sir sir sir i can't what is it that you're doing it's bullshit it's bullshit that the freeways are
00:18:35not designed to handle this kind of mass this kind of mass panic i gotta paddle out of here you're gonna
00:18:40try to make a clear shot to safety on the la river i don't know if it's gonna work but i gotta try
00:18:45god speak to you what is this i can't do what is the news why do we watch this i can't kim
00:18:56it's my kid's birthday today i missed the last seven i'm i'm done people watch other people panic
00:19:01meanwhile spend no time on the ones they actually care about yeah totally i'm gonna try and call beth
00:19:08okay let's sort of the opposite of what i was trying to well this lady's crying super hard
00:19:17well mandy we have been friends forever you know how i feel about you come on just say it back i
00:19:24don't need to say it back you're crazy just say i love you don't be weird about it you're the one
00:19:29who's being weird about it you're gonna be fine it's just a scare that's all what if it's not
00:19:34what if what if this is the last time we talk well if you're worried about it you can go out there
00:19:39and find yourself some group of bearded doomsday preppers but they are going to expect things you're
00:19:45such an asshole you too call me later okay i will bye
00:19:54what do you mean there's nowhere to go did you try the airport yep yep we we tried the airport um
00:20:06there's just everybody's trying the airport so that's what are you talking about try delta
00:20:12nobody flies delta exactly delta guys please let's stay focused here uh oh boy uh you know you're
00:20:20overreacting this is one of those false flag operations just like korea that's not what cnn is
00:20:25saying oh don't get me started on them that anderson oh i love you both so much anderson who do you know
00:20:31that's named anderson i think i'm in serious trouble and i know i'm kind of a screw-up and a loser and um
00:20:41you've basically had to support me my entire adult life and i never say thank you
00:20:45because i'm embarrassed about it but thank you so much you're just the best i'm just so lucky that
00:20:57you're my parents and i love you both mom dad mom yep
00:21:06oh god this sucks
00:21:20how much it meant to me how much it affected my life and that i love each and every one of you so much
00:21:29oh off we could die at any moment and you're sobbing to your fans we all grieve in our own
00:21:35ways okay they're strangers that bought some of your sketches on the internet you should be
00:21:38thinking about me chef what do you want me to think about okay you know what here we go
00:21:46fine here it is you have my undivided attention what's up is this near death thing making you super horny
00:21:57that is not what i thought you were gonna say yeah yeah me too
00:22:09we've been doing this it's been like two months you've been keeping track i have to keep track of
00:22:13me okay well since this is our last night we should make it count ninja warrior guy that's impossible i
00:22:18can't physically do that and then you just spin my body underneath you i think i spin you spin did you finish
00:22:28yeah that was great
00:22:35actually i don't want to lie to you i didn't and that wasn't great at all
00:22:40thank you for being honest um yeah it was terrible for me i was scared but you came more than once yeah
00:22:52i mean that's not you can't go off that guys come easy it's not it's not tricky
00:22:59well at least you had fun you know i just it's my last day on earth and i didn't even have an orgasm
00:23:04oh that's so sad oh no it's not your fault i'm sorry it's not your fault it's not your fault i just
00:23:15wanted it to be special and just not another tuesday night you know i got boring a little bit that's why
00:23:24you don't throw down with me anymore no we just got out of sync that's why you got that new vibrator
00:23:30uh how do you know about that literally i go to the door and there's this package and it says vibes
00:23:38for her and i was like well that's obvious and then i just sat there with it's sad
00:23:48well i you know my last one wore out you wore it out well it broke you broke and then it wore out
00:23:54you broke and wore it out what did you do that poor thing you know sometimes it just happens you
00:23:59just it's a normal thing you rubbed it out so many times that the rubbing out device quit
00:24:04it gave up on life you're not funny i'm kind of funny no come on no what's there to be embarrassed
00:24:09about you know we've we've both been busy both been really busy when a couple's been together for
00:24:17four years sometimes things just naturally slow down five years sure sure whatever you want to call
00:24:24it five years it's been i'll call it five years it's five years just don't take it personally
00:24:29you know plus we've got all this added pressure of the end of the world right now
00:24:34yeah there is a lot of pressure i wish we just could do something to like relieve it all
00:24:39i've got an idea oh my god i cannot believe we are genuinely talking about drinking the kool-aid
00:24:52swear
00:24:55what am i swearing to once the time comes we both take a huge swig of this
00:25:01and we'll be together at the end okay sorry i'm nervous it's my first suicide pack
00:25:13i don't know if it's a kill shot but it'll at least numb any chance of feeling any pain in theory
00:25:20well we don't have a gun hey but we could asphyxiate each other oh please you don't have
00:25:25the balls to kill yourself i absolutely do oh don't worry when you need me i've got your back buddy
00:25:33do not touch me after saying something like that that's horrific i meant it i don't want to die yet
00:25:41do you want to have like a final meal or something yeah okay let's see
00:25:47i have no clue what you just said but i loved every man of it holy fuck i miss lerton
00:26:04if you don't like me i don't understand why people sit on it so much
00:26:07and some people have celiac disease and it kind of makes you fat yeah but you just don't eat it
00:26:14because it's fashionable shut up you read it in a magazine and you did it that's how you make life
00:26:20decisions it's true you don't hit me with bread i'm saying it that's funny i'm just saying i feel like
00:26:27we don't talk like this anymore stop hitting me what do you mean we don't talk we never talk
00:26:33i talk to you all the time no like talk talk you know like we talk but like we used to talk about
00:26:39nothing you're like nothing i'm just being excited to tell you all my stories and making you laugh
00:26:51it's over me why don't we talk about it right now what do you what do you gotta say to me
00:26:58it was an empty promise i didn't have anything ready to go what if we write it down
00:27:02like make obituaries for each other yeah oh that's so dark i love it let's do it it's happening
00:27:12we're doing it let's do it i used to be a lot cooler i feel like that's something i regret oh you were
00:27:19never cool but that's what i liked about you
00:27:23that's the best thing i've ever written i'm ready all right me too one two three enjoy here we go
00:27:44shepherd elliott geller liked to cook take selfies was great at drawing pictures those are true oh
00:27:49i like the way that sounded very good this is a good obituary so far thank you i'll never forget
00:27:54the day shep and i first met when i was backpacking in europe there was no room on the train to paris
00:27:59he gave up his seat for me i felt obliged to buy him dinner when we arrived what that's our meet cute
00:28:05story that's the story i thought we were on the same page about yeah no i mean that's definitely a
00:28:10story we made up to tell your friends in college because you were too insecure to say how we actually met
00:28:16well if anybody ever reads these we wanted to seem like we were in love weren't we what there's five
00:28:24minutes left on earth you can't be honest with me right now honest let's unpack some of the insightful
00:28:30stuff you've got here i don't know why you're saying it that way i feel very confident in it
00:28:34after moving to the west coast mandy worked hard at her career she liked scrapbooking walking dogs and
00:28:42going to brunch all true i don't even like dogs we had a dog you liked that dog okay liking your own
00:28:52dog versus liking other people's dogs is a totally different thing how am i supposed to differentiate
00:28:59that in an obituary what are you talking about i'm in the ballpark okay shep the thing is like why
00:29:05did you have to wikipedia me like that you have a bunch of ordinary things about you that i think are
00:29:10really romantic that's the whole point did we ever even know each other at all
00:29:22well that's not good
00:29:23the wi-fi and reception are gone yeah the power's out
00:29:41okay okay oh my god this is the this is the juice this is the juice just in case
00:29:46with our suicide juice and temperature control bottles yeah that is the most mandy thing you've
00:29:52ever done any last words
00:29:59yeah i just uh i guess by this point i thought i thought i'd be i don't know happier you know like
00:30:09like like i'd have the home i want or the job i want
00:30:16the you i want i'm not the me you want yeah you know things just just don't go the way you hope
00:30:24they will sometimes you know no matter how hard you try and and you look around and you think things will
00:30:33get a little bit better and then and then they do but but it's the same because you're the same
00:30:43yeah i never did anything with my life and now it's over you did something no i didn't
00:30:50no i didn't i fucked around on the internet the only good thing i have going in this life is you
00:30:57and you're disappointed in me and i see it and it makes me sad and i'm just i'm just sorry
00:31:11oh my god we should like pray or something why are we i haven't been to synagogue in years okay well
00:31:17uh i went to catholic school for a couple years um i'm a little more agnostic now but yeah it's it's okay
00:31:24okay all right here we go um dear god jesus allah hinduism okay okay buddha buddha yes just in case
00:31:34just in case forgive us for all the things we did do or or didn't do amen i'm in massive debt by the
00:31:44way what yeah i'm so sorry i have to get this off my chest i i've i've been borrowing from my parents
00:31:50for years i do your taxes i know everything you heard about that poorly timed bitcoin investment
00:31:56oh uh i didn't know about that thank you so much for telling me oh my god oh my god i cheated on you
00:32:02what i'm really really sorry we were having problems and it was it was empty and meaningless
00:32:09and and it's over now okay i just i just needed to get that off my chest
00:32:13okay okay you know what people sometimes make a mistake every now and again and once in a while
00:32:22it was more than once
00:32:27i forgive you really yeah yeah i do i too i love you and i always will me too
00:32:34oh my god what happened where's my phone i don't know i got your phone okay oh i have your phone
00:32:54false alarm false alarm oh my god whoever said we were going to die today i hope he
00:32:59fucking burns in hell right i thought we were dead i thought oh my god i was so scared me too
00:33:08i think i shit myself for real that's so gross but kind of me too i am so so so happy
00:33:19that we didn't die i can think of a couple other reasons
00:33:22it's gonna sound weird but it's like i'm almost glad all this happened because we got to spend this
00:33:32time together let's make the most of it
00:33:38oh wow this place is a disaster we destroyed our house we destroyed it and my parents are not going
00:33:45to be thrilled wow people are really celebrating yeah and looting actually a lot of looting happened
00:33:56it's a very diverse country we live in you know you know what we should celebrate i've still got some
00:34:03end of the world champagne oh crack that open i've completely lost my buzz at this point uh i have
00:34:09your phone by the today was crazy i want to let you know in case anything happens i love you found it
00:34:19so this guy you cheated on me with
00:34:25who was he does it matter i mean i'm curious it was just some guy i met at work some guy
00:34:34it was barely a thing yeah i mean a thing you had sex with i did not have sex with him
00:34:42really sexting doesn't count i knew it five minutes ago you forgave me i lied
00:34:50you lied to me right before we were about to be killed yeah i was trying to be nice listen to me
00:34:56i was in this weird emotional place just looking for you know i don't even know what i was looking
00:35:04for but it's over now you don't talk to him at all of course not not even via text message or something
00:35:13why would i text him okay can i see your phone your lack of trust is frankly disturbing unlock your phone
00:35:24we'll confirm everything i don't want to why not i forgot my code five five five five i got it
00:35:33it's low on battery you're gonna get that because it could be important it can wait can we please
00:35:40well that's normal why won't you just let this go because i just saw a text message from some guy
00:35:45named nick saying he loved you that's why okay that's crazy why would nick say something like that
00:35:52yeah well he did okay he spelled love l-u-v so you have been distant for months you'll only have sex
00:36:03with me when the world's about to end and now this dude is sending you text messages saying he loved
00:36:08you you were gonna move away to oregon for a year and just hope our relationship sorts itself out you've
00:36:13been distant i was gonna go to oregon because it was an exciting opportunity that you should have been
00:36:18happy about i am not gonna be distant anymore i want to make this work give me an honest answer
00:36:27what would have happened today if the world didn't almost end what does it matter
00:36:32i'm sorry where are you going um my parents place maybe are you coming back
00:36:58i think we should here let me help you please don't i don't need your help
00:37:10can you at least text me or something i think we got to talk about some stuff
00:37:17there's nothing left to say mandy i need time and i need space to figure this out
00:37:21goodbye mandy quick get that in time what hey that's our stuff hey there they are
00:37:33she's just kidding you guys are doing great carry on please
00:37:35you better run okay okay okay hey i think they're taking my scrapbooks
00:37:45fuck you you steaming pieces of shit great now he's gonna come this way hey hey it's not worth it
00:37:55hurry up open up do you think we should call the police i think a lot of people are calling the
00:37:58police right now okay let's just forward this thing up and hope they move on come on hurry get out of the way
00:38:17so i guess this means you're staying
00:38:21let's just take a break let's not talk anymore okay thank you
00:38:29it's crazy that in this day and age something like this could happen but whose fault is it
00:38:34is it in the government is it a cell phone company it's whoever has their finger on that button that's
00:38:39who's fault well the city's lost its mind the whole city is totally unprepared people are hiding in
00:38:44dumpsters there was looting well some guy was trying to kayak through the ocean and died of dehydration
00:38:50that's what i'm talking about but keep in mind lives were lost here because of the false alarm
00:38:54there were accidents on the road that there were even suicides
00:38:56it's all about accurate information we gotta stop listening to amateur unconfirmed sources of
00:39:02course um gotta get off twitter well at least it reminds us of what's most important yeah be close
00:39:08to your loved ones jesus are they still here come on
00:39:13you're fucking kidding me looters still here i wish mandy mandy anyone home
00:39:28who's that nobody mandy it's nick open up
00:39:31bucket nick is here no i think it's still one of the looters we should probably call the cops or
00:39:38something that's the guy no that's not the guy what do you even see in me unbelievable
00:39:49that's him i've never seen that page before in my life
00:39:53you like most of the photos hello don't want to answer him
00:40:07nick hey mandy you're right you weren't answering your phone i've been busy what are you doing here
00:40:14i had to see you that's crazy i know i know but the thing is about how batshit insane today was
00:40:20made me realize how much i care about you and us nick nick please just hear me out
00:40:26i'm in love with you
00:40:30and the thought of taking that long rail into the sky
00:40:33it gave me a new perspective that you're the one i want to be with you know
00:40:37you were saying how you weren't happy and already thinking about making a change so
00:40:43i'm here whoa whoa i i wouldn't say that i didn't say that
00:40:50is uh someone else in there oh what's up tank top you rode your little bike over here
00:40:56man during the middle of a crisis to uh to do all this you think that's a cool move
00:41:00dude i'm sorry i thought you guys would be broken up by now oh did you think we would be broken up
00:41:05any guys talk about it beforehand have a little strategy shep please go back inside
00:41:14maybe this was a bad time no no no you know what this was this was bound to happen
00:41:22nick i'm afraid we're going to have to let you go i think we have to come to terms with where this
00:41:29is heading i mean neither of us are happy in this situation right we both need to figure out what's
00:41:36best for the team we've had some great moments but change can be a good thing for both parties
00:41:43fun fact she used that same speech on me no no it's similar but you know i made a couple edits
00:41:48her cycle breakup speech wow that's cold yeah she's a sociopath you know that you know i'm not
00:41:54good with words when it's an emotional thing okay i have to rehearse so what we had it was not real
00:42:04i was i was messed up okay i used you for something that it just wasn't going anywhere i'm really sorry
00:42:13it's okay mandy yeah i respect you you too shep i'm glad you guys are working it out you don't get
00:42:25to ride away from this what are you what are you doing shep i'm about to punch this guy in the face
00:42:29move no no no this is not a good idea shep i'm back here come on you want to come here you want to
00:42:36try to take my girlfriend let's go you want to do this let's go i'm a trained pacifist i'm not going to
00:42:42fight but i will protect my body i hate your body shep come on don't embarrass yourself
00:42:56let it out stop it let it out let it out breathe breathe
00:43:12my phone's always on if you need to talk
00:43:20sorry about your car getting broken into
00:43:30yeah
00:43:30it's not like i invited him over shep please talk to me
00:43:52fuck
00:44:00fuck
00:44:06I believe she did that to you.
00:44:25Let me know if you want to talk about it.
00:44:32What are you up to right now?
00:44:36Oh, hey.
00:45:04I was just working on some stuff.
00:45:09Anyway, it doesn't matter.
00:45:13The point is, I know a lot of shit went down today and you're obviously still mad at me.
00:45:21I mean, why wouldn't you be?
00:45:24But you know, no relationship is perfect.
00:45:28We have our problems.
00:45:30But if we can just talk about this like adults, I think we can get past it.
00:45:37Give me one second.
00:45:48Hey!
00:45:49Yeah, you got to go in through the window actually.
00:45:52We completely panicked with the door and now we can't undo it, what we've done.
00:45:57It's like the Taj Mahal though, right?
00:45:59That's how you get into the Taj.
00:46:01Wow, it's so much smaller than it looks online.
00:46:05Well, that's the webcam, sort of.
00:46:08Can I help you?
00:46:10Oh, wow.
00:46:11You're Mandy.
00:46:12Oh my God, your skin is so glowy in person.
00:46:17Who are you?
00:46:19This is Fan Artista 4.
00:46:22Okay.
00:46:23I go by Kim IRL.
00:46:25Yeah, I've been a real big fan of Chef's ever since he posted this drawing he did of the cast of Friends, but they were ducks.
00:46:33That was a good one.
00:46:35Yeah.
00:46:36You've seen it?
00:46:37It's so funny.
00:46:39She's seen it.
00:46:40She loves it.
00:46:41And I've been seeing your post since like years ago.
00:46:45Remember when you got bangs that one summer?
00:46:47Uh, sort of.
00:46:49I just can't believe I'm actually standing in your house.
00:46:53You know, usually I'm just driving by while you're sleeping.
00:46:57I'm just kidding.
00:46:59Oh, that's very funny.
00:47:01Hey, nice to meet you.
00:47:03Oh wow, cool Drusina.
00:47:05What the fuck is she doing here?
00:47:07She's my friend.
00:47:09Hanging out.
00:47:10Not right now you're not.
00:47:12Uh, you got to have a friend.
00:47:14Oh, that's bullshit and you know it.
00:47:16Fan Artista Four, how would you like to see my studio?
00:47:20Totes?
00:47:22Totes.
00:47:25You can actually cut through right there.
00:47:27Now I know.
00:47:28Okie doke gets it.
00:47:35Mandy, what the fuck? Where have you been?
00:47:37Glad to know you're okay too, Beth.
00:47:39Have you seen what's going on?
00:47:40Yeah, yeah.
00:47:41The thing was a false alarm and it completely destroyed my relationship.
00:47:45Oh, you don't know.
00:47:48Know what?
00:47:49Your feed is famous.
00:47:51There's like gifs or gifs or whatever the fuck you call them if you guys banging each other.
00:47:55It's like crazy.
00:47:56That's impossible.
00:47:57Nobody gives a shit about chef's stuff.
00:47:59You know, maybe you should take this down.
00:48:01I mean good for you for finally breaking up with him, but like...
00:48:04Oh my god.
00:48:08So today's been pretty crazy, huh?
00:48:11It's been so crazy.
00:48:12I know.
00:48:14Do you have life insurance?
00:48:16What?
00:48:17Life insurance.
00:48:18Like in case anything ever happens to you.
00:48:22No.
00:48:23No.
00:48:24No, I don't think most people my age have life insurance.
00:48:27I think it's like an old person thing, right?
00:48:29No.
00:48:30Anyone can get it.
00:48:31I have it.
00:48:32I'm not old.
00:48:33Okay.
00:48:35Yeah.
00:48:36Okay.
00:48:38Hey.
00:48:39Will you draw me like one of your Instagirls?
00:48:44Okay.
00:48:45Yes.
00:48:46Yes, I will.
00:48:48Because you are an Instagirl.
00:48:51Um, alright.
00:48:55So, if you were to die, would the value of your work go up?
00:49:05What?
00:49:07Um, I think it's relative.
00:49:09I think.
00:49:10I know, but like even a little bit.
00:49:11You know, like say someone were to come in here and slit your throat while you're sleeping.
00:49:19Hypothetically.
00:49:23Sure.
00:49:24Hypothetically, I would say that, you know, I'm not that famous.
00:49:27So, I don't think death would do anything for me at the moment.
00:49:30Oh no, you're, here's the thing, you're like super popular.
00:49:34And all great artists have had a really tragic ending.
00:49:38You know, if you wanted to, you could be the Van Gogh of Pinterest.
00:49:41But, you have both your ears.
00:49:43But that's a good thing, right?
00:49:44To have, to have both ears.
00:49:46It's like a good, it's like a positive I can hear everything.
00:49:49So, I don't want to lose those.
00:49:51It's just something to think about.
00:49:53I can try, I guess.
00:49:54Thank God you're here.
00:49:55She is.
00:50:00What are you doing?
00:50:01Why didn't you tell me thousands of people were watching us?
00:50:04Yeah, but why did you cheat on me?
00:50:05Not the same.
00:50:07Kind of the same.
00:50:08Oh my gosh.
00:50:09So, your guys' relationship is like crazy toxic.
00:50:12I know I've just been a casual observer for a very long time.
00:50:15But, may I just say that the cycle of emotional abuse does have to stop somewhere.
00:50:22Kim, right?
00:50:23Yeah.
00:50:24Are you done?
00:50:26Yeah, I think I got what I came for.
00:50:28Thank you for the scene.
00:50:30I'm going to grab this.
00:50:33It's going to get me a lot of likes.
00:50:36I've got to put more than likes.
00:50:37Maybe a good time in here.
00:50:39Oh.
00:50:44Oh, if either of you want to follow me or...
00:50:53I want you to take down every picture, every post, every fucking tweet that has a mention of me in it.
00:50:59Now!
00:51:00Well, that will be very difficult to do because you just SMASHED ALL MY SHIT!
00:51:04Figure it out!
00:51:05I can't!
00:51:06Why not?
00:51:07Because we're blowing up right now!
00:51:08I have to make sure she's out of this house.
00:51:10She's got a real weird thing about death going on.
00:51:13I mean, I took down the video.
00:51:19Um, we're gift and memed.
00:51:21I don't know how to stop that.
00:51:23And, uh, we're on Pornhub.
00:51:25We're on Pornhub.
00:51:26I don't want to hear it, Shep.
00:51:28You know, you managed to flood the internet with some of the most intimate, gut-wrenching, embarrassing moments I've ever experienced.
00:51:40You're gonna ruin my life with this.
00:51:42And for what?
00:51:43For a couple of hits?
00:51:46It was like a million.
00:51:48Who gives a fuck?!
00:51:49Okay, I don't know what to tell you.
00:51:50The video's down, alright?
00:51:52So all we can do now is try to make the best of the situation.
00:51:55If you ever want this relationship to heal, or care about me even a little bit, you would delete our account.
00:52:02I don't know.
00:52:04Listen to me.
00:52:05People are buying my stuff.
00:52:06Like crazy.
00:52:07I've never...
00:52:08I don't even know if I can fill this many orders.
00:52:10Shep, please.
00:52:11Just do it.
00:52:12Do what?
00:52:13The profile doesn't affect...
00:52:14The video is down!
00:52:15Okay, so the profile is not affected by the video.
00:52:17No, I'm not gonna take it down.
00:52:18Why would I...
00:52:19No, no, I'm not.
00:52:25There's no saving us, is there?
00:52:29I don't think so.
00:52:32I want an exit interview.
00:52:35What?
00:52:36What are you, like an HR thing?
00:52:38Exactly.
00:52:39I think we have to clear the air.
00:52:42You know, obviously we have a lot of stuff left unsaid.
00:52:45That's the most insane thing I've ever heard of.
00:52:47Just do it for me, okay?
00:52:49Okay.
00:52:50Alright.
00:52:51Let's do an exit interview.
00:52:52Okay.
00:52:53This is normal.
00:52:54You wanna go first?
00:52:55No, no, no.
00:52:56By all means.
00:52:57It's all you.
00:52:58Great.
00:52:59Reminder, this was your idea.
00:53:00Um, okay.
00:53:01I've always known you secretly farted.
00:53:03What?
00:53:04Don't.
00:53:05Whatever.
00:53:06Easy.
00:53:07Yeah.
00:53:08Very simple.
00:53:09We're in a fancy place.
00:53:10Immediately.
00:53:11Oh, can I take a loose piece of artwork?
00:53:12And you hop back.
00:53:13You think we don't know?
00:53:14We all know.
00:53:15We all know what's going on.
00:53:16Oh.
00:53:17Oh, well, uh...
00:53:18You have the coldest feet at night.
00:53:19I think I'm sleeping next to a corpse.
00:53:20I don't think they're that bad.
00:53:22Why do you think I wear socks to bed every night?
00:53:24Who gives a shit?
00:53:26You're an ugly laugher.
00:53:27Well, you're an ugly crier.
00:53:30I'm sensitive.
00:53:31That's fine.
00:53:32You hate kids.
00:53:33I can learn not to hate kids.
00:53:36Besides, you never told me anything about wanting to start a family.
00:53:40There it is.
00:53:41There what is?
00:53:42There it is.
00:53:43What?
00:53:44I'm Mandy, the most passive-aggressive person on earth.
00:53:48I mean, if that's what you think.
00:53:50You are an insufferable know-it-all.
00:53:53Oh, I know how to Google.
00:53:55My name is Shep.
00:53:56We get it.
00:53:57I hate your best friend.
00:53:59Fuck you.
00:54:00I do.
00:54:01Everyone hates it.
00:54:02I hate your parents.
00:54:03They baby you and it's pathetic.
00:54:06Okay.
00:54:07You want to know something else?
00:54:08Bring it.
00:54:09You're a phony.
00:54:10Compared to you?
00:54:11I'm dead serious.
00:54:13You want to have a real talk?
00:54:15Fine.
00:54:16At least I care about the shit I'm trying to do.
00:54:19You're so afraid of being alone that you go from guy to guy to guy because you wouldn't
00:54:26know what to do if you had to spend time with yourself.
00:54:30You're a lousy partner and that's why I cheated on you.
00:54:35Yeah, I saw years of my life disappearing with some total narcissist.
00:54:42Incapable of finishing anything he starts.
00:54:45Because, God forbid, you actually have to commit to something.
00:54:50You fell in love with another dude.
00:54:54No.
00:54:55Yeah.
00:54:56No.
00:54:57It wasn't love.
00:54:58Okay.
00:54:59But I was.
00:55:00I was missing something.
00:55:03You used to be.
00:55:05Like my best friend.
00:55:09And now you're.
00:55:14What?
00:55:15You're not.
00:55:16I've tried to be.
00:55:17I've tried so hard.
00:55:18But I've changed.
00:55:19People change.
00:55:20That's what they do in life.
00:55:21People aren't always the same person.
00:55:22What they've tried out of.
00:55:23Chip, don't!
00:55:24Listen to yourself.
00:55:25You don't date me anymore.
00:55:26You don't get to tell me what to do.
00:55:28That's a Kool-Aid!
00:55:29What?
00:55:30That's it.
00:55:31Get it out.
00:55:32You're gonna be okay.
00:55:33You're gonna be okay.
00:55:34You're gonna be okay.
00:55:35You poisoned me.
00:55:36Shep, you're hallucinating.
00:55:37It's not poison.
00:55:38It's anxiety medication.
00:55:39You should feel good.
00:55:40This reminds me of the time when I was in Peru.
00:55:41I took Ayahuasca.
00:55:42I had this horrible trip.
00:55:44But I came out a better person on the other side.
00:55:45Got cleansed.
00:55:47What is he doing here?
00:55:48Relax, relax.
00:55:49I called him a booth.
00:55:50How he did it?
00:55:51I did it.
00:55:52I gave it a place.
00:55:53I did it.
00:55:54I told you.
00:55:55We had to die.
00:55:56I got to help.
00:55:57I'm a better person.
00:55:58I came out a better person than the other side.
00:56:01I got to help.
00:56:02I got to walk in.
00:56:03I got to walk out.
00:56:04I got to walk in.
00:56:05Get to help and ask me.
00:56:06I got to walk in.
00:56:07I got to walk in.
00:56:08Why did you get to walk in?
00:56:09Relax, I called him because he knows first aid.
00:56:12Brought you some water when you're ready.
00:56:16Thank you so much, please leave.
00:56:17You got it, buddy.
00:56:20Mandy, you mind if we sidebar for a second?
00:56:23Sure.
00:56:24What, Mandy?
00:56:25Mandy, do not sidebar with him.
00:56:27Mandy, I hate it!
00:56:33What's up?
00:56:36I don't think we should see each other anymore.
00:56:38Um, yeah, neither do I.
00:56:40We both know you calling me was going to lead to a relapse in judgment.
00:56:43I mean, come on.
00:56:46I don't think that's...
00:56:48Shh.
00:56:49It's okay.
00:56:52We don't have to play these games anymore.
00:56:55You're free.
00:56:56I'm just letting you know I'm not going to chase.
00:56:58I appreciate that.
00:57:00Just looking at you, looking at your boyfriend,
00:57:03spilling his guts, I can tell.
00:57:07You guys are a team.
00:57:10Right.
00:57:12Oh, high five.
00:57:15Yeah.
00:57:16Keep chasing the sunrise.
00:57:22Personal sunrise.
00:57:37Why?
00:57:38I'm sorry.
00:57:39I panicked and I didn't know who else to call.
00:57:43He might have saved your life.
00:57:45Oh, not him.
00:57:47Why didn't you just let me die?
00:57:49Just because we're breaking up doesn't mean I don't care about you.
00:57:57So we are breaking up.
00:57:59I don't think there's any coming back from the things we said.
00:58:04It isn't healthy.
00:58:07Yeah.
00:58:10Yeah.
00:58:11I don't look great right now.
00:58:13I don't blame you.
00:58:14How do you have all the furniture?
00:58:28It was a slow takeover.
00:58:30We have so much more shit to do.
00:58:32Let's take a break then.
00:58:34Okay.
00:58:35I was just thinking about it.
00:58:37This is like the longest we've ever gone without looking at your cell phones.
00:58:40I wasn't even thinking about that.
00:58:42Yeah.
00:58:47Should we check the news?
00:58:48Yeah, probably.
00:58:53While the geopolitical standoff is far from over,
00:58:56both sides seem to have pulled back from the brink of war.
00:58:59And the missile strike is being revealed as a mistake by an overzealous officer in strategic command.
00:59:05What a fucking dumbass.
00:59:06Piece of shit.
00:59:08Also, a newfound appreciation for those we love.
00:59:12And speaking of love.
00:59:13Oh boy.
00:59:15This couple has gone viral post-crisis trying to go out with a bang.
00:59:20We should try this.
00:59:21No.
00:59:22I think I'm gonna find somewhere to eat.
00:59:31Give you some space.
00:59:32That's fair, yeah.
00:59:33Okay, good.
00:59:34Okay.
00:59:35Yeah.
00:59:36Okay.
00:59:51For one tonight?
00:59:52Yeah.
00:59:54Slow night?
00:59:55Yeah.
00:59:56Usually people come in for the happy hour samosas, but I guess they're all busy tonight.
01:00:01Well, it's probably because of all the crazy shit that went down today.
01:00:05What happened?
01:00:06You don't know?
01:00:07I'm off the grid.
01:00:09I don't even have internet right now.
01:00:12You know what?
01:00:13Doesn't matter.
01:00:14I will have an order of the samosas and a huge side of bread.
01:00:20Coming right up.
01:00:35I'm just a man.
01:00:36He's standing in front of his shop asking him to love her.
01:00:42I'm just a man.
01:00:43He's standing in front of his shop asking him to love her.
01:00:49How's everything?
01:00:50Everything's great.
01:00:52Okay.
01:00:53Hi.
01:00:54How's everything?
01:00:55Everything's great.
01:00:57Okay.
01:00:58Hi.
01:00:59Hi.
01:01:00Oh.
01:01:01Hey.
01:01:02So much for giving each other space.
01:01:04I deleted the profile.
01:01:05All of it.
01:01:06Twitter, Twitch, Instagram, Facebook.
01:01:07I deleted the profile.
01:01:13Everything's great, thank you.
01:01:15Okay.
01:01:22Hi.
01:01:24Oh, hey.
01:01:26So much for giving each other space.
01:01:30I deleted the profile.
01:01:33All of it. Twitter, Twitch, Instagram, Facebook, gone.
01:01:37But isn't that like your dream?
01:01:40All the attention and selling your work online?
01:01:44I thought so.
01:01:46Um, but I don't care.
01:01:48I really don't care.
01:01:50This is real.
01:01:53Thank you for saying that.
01:01:56I, uh...
01:02:00I, uh, found your signs.
01:02:03Ah, right.
01:02:06I think we gotta give this another shot.
01:02:09I don't think so.
01:02:11It took us thinking that we were gonna die
01:02:13in order to have any kind of real conversation.
01:02:17Maybe if you can't figure out who somebody is after five years,
01:02:21then you never will.
01:02:24Even our meet cute story is fake.
01:02:26We don't even know what the lie was to begin with.
01:02:29We only made up a story
01:02:31because you didn't want to tell your friends
01:02:33that we met on a dating app.
01:02:35Well, that's not romantic.
01:02:37Okay, so that's why we decided on
01:02:39meeting each other on a train in Europe.
01:02:41How did I end up in the park?
01:02:43I had that park story down pat.
01:02:45Everybody's meet cute story is fake.
01:02:47There is no such thing.
01:02:49Okay, so then we don't have one.
01:02:51Who cares?
01:02:52Everybody's just lying to themselves to fall in love.
01:02:56Just so we can feel less alone.
01:03:02I am so sorry.
01:03:16Could I get a table for one?
01:03:18Sure. Anywhere you like.
01:03:20Weren't you just in here alone?
01:03:24No, I don't think so.
01:03:25Okay.
01:03:30Where...
01:03:34Ah.
01:03:38Ah, jeez.
01:03:39Sweetie.
01:03:41Hello.
01:03:49Hi.
01:03:50Oh, hey.
01:03:51What's up?
01:03:52Hi. Excuse me.
01:03:53I am so sorry.
01:03:54Um, I was just looking for a seat.
01:03:57Oh.
01:03:58Yeah, it is super packed in here.
01:04:01It's so busy.
01:04:02Yeah.
01:04:03I'll try it, but...
01:04:04Anyway, I noticed you were somewhere with your table.
01:04:06I don't know if, you know...
01:04:07Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:04:08Go ahead.
01:04:09Thank you so much.
01:04:10Yeah, yeah.
01:04:13I'll be quiet.
01:04:14I won't even...
01:04:15You won't even know I'm...
01:04:16Perfect.
01:04:17Here, it's just you and your bread.
01:04:18Great.
01:04:21I don't have a menu.
01:04:22You think they would give me a menu, you know?
01:04:28Have you had the chili?
01:04:30I haven't.
01:04:31It is so good.
01:04:34Really?
01:04:35Mm-hmm.
01:04:36I read a review, but I didn't believe it.
01:04:37I will now.
01:04:38I'm gonna give it a shot because of you.
01:04:39Actually...
01:04:41This is my favorite place.
01:04:43What?
01:04:45You're not gonna believe this.
01:04:46Mine too.
01:04:47What?!
01:04:50Where are you from?
01:04:51New York.
01:04:52New York?
01:04:53You?
01:04:54Modesto, but I went to school in New York.
01:04:56Oh!
01:04:57Wow.
01:04:58We have so much in common.
01:04:59Unbelievable amounts in common.
01:05:01Wait, wait, wait.
01:05:02I have been in here every single day and I have never seen you here.
01:05:07You know what it is?
01:05:08Probably on different timelines, you know what I mean?
01:05:10Like, I'm a brunch guy.
01:05:11I usually like to sleep in.
01:05:14You're missing out on brunch.
01:05:18I'm Shep.
01:05:19I'm Shep.
01:05:22I'm Mandy.
01:05:24But my friends call me Mandy.
01:05:28That is the worst joke.
01:05:31Just so you know.
01:05:33Maybe you should, uh, give me your number or something so I don't forget.
01:05:36Okay.
01:05:39Yeah, let's do that.
01:05:42Now, no phones open!
01:05:44This guy, we...
01:05:48Or maybe I can just pay the bill and we can go back to your place and make out.
01:05:54Okay.
01:05:56We just met though.
01:05:57I know.
01:05:58You're okay with it?
01:05:59Yep, let's go.
01:06:00Just met.
01:06:02It's pretty cute.
01:06:07Alright.
01:06:09This is it.
01:06:10Cool.
01:06:11I like it.
01:06:13I don't own it.
01:06:14Really?
01:06:15Yeah, my parents own it.
01:06:17Uh, oh, by the way, fun fact.
01:06:20That door's barricaded.
01:06:21We will have to enter through the window.
01:06:24I don't mind.
01:06:25Yeah?
01:06:26Yeah.
01:06:28It's funny, I actually, uh, I used to live here with my ex.
01:06:32Oh.
01:06:34What was she like?
01:06:37She's wonderful.
01:06:40Terrifying.
01:06:42Beautiful.
01:06:44Tried to kill me once.
01:06:47Despite everything we've been through, she's 100% my best friend.
01:06:54She must have felt pretty lucky with you most of the time.
01:06:59I really hope so.
01:07:01Just so you know, I don't usually hook up with people on the first date.
01:07:07Really? Is that true?
01:07:09I feel like people always hook up with me on the first date. I just have that way about me.
01:07:14It's kind of easy for me.
01:07:15Hmm, okay.
01:07:16It's weird. It feels like we've known each other for years.
01:07:22I know what you mean.
01:07:28We talk for real?
01:07:30Yeah.
01:07:31Yeah.
01:07:40Where does this put us?
01:07:43I don't know.
01:07:45But I do know this was nice.
01:07:48And I'd do it again.
01:07:50Yeah.
01:07:52No, and...
01:07:54For sure, it was, it is, but...
01:07:57Aren't we just gonna end up in that same sad place?
01:08:01You can't say for sure.
01:08:05I kind of can, right?
01:08:09If you love me, just stay, dummy.
01:08:16I can't.
01:08:19Is this about money?
01:08:22You can't afford me.
01:08:24You'd be surprised.
01:08:25I can be very generous.
01:08:30So...
01:08:32I guess this means we should take this breakup seriously and...
01:08:37Figure out who we are solo.
01:08:40Yeah, we owe it to ourselves.
01:08:43You know, I always believed you would succeed.
01:08:47Really?
01:08:49Shut up and let me compliment you.
01:08:50Mm-hmm. Go ahead, please.
01:08:52You're so talented.
01:08:54Creative.
01:08:56You have enormous amounts of potential.
01:09:01And when you figure out what you want to do with your life...
01:09:05You're gonna be really amazing.
01:09:08Thank you for saying that.
01:09:11You're gonna be the most incredible, amazing, gluten-free person
01:09:16just the second you get just any distance from me.
01:09:19So...
01:09:28I'll leave tomorrow.
01:09:30No.
01:09:32You just stay here.
01:09:33I'll go.
01:09:34You go.
01:09:35I'll go.
01:09:36But this is your family's place.
01:09:37Yeah, and they love you more than me.
01:09:38So they'll be thrilled to just deal with you.
01:09:40We'll figure it out later, but you just stay here.
01:09:44Can I still text you?
01:09:45No.
01:09:49I'm sorry.
01:09:51I can't handle that.
01:09:53Email me if that's okay.
01:09:56That's fair.
01:10:06You're smiling in your sleep.
01:10:07Shut up, I am not.
01:10:08You are?
01:10:10You're content?
01:10:11I've got resting contentment base.
01:10:23Promise me you'll come back.
01:10:26Even if it's just to say hi.
01:10:30I will.
01:10:34You have all my stuff.
01:10:36Good.
01:10:41Good.
01:10:43Come back.
01:11:05No.
01:11:08I just feel like a change of scenery would be really good for you.
01:11:25My family's got a spot in the Himalayas.
01:11:27I might just go out there for a little bit of soul cleansing, you know?
01:11:30You can always come visit here for a while.
01:11:32I am more than prepared to get fucked up.
01:11:34That sounds awesome.
01:11:36But I think I need to be alone for a while, you know?
01:11:40Is there any chance you could make it work?
01:11:42Uh, I don't think so.
01:11:44Is it because of the internet sex thing?
01:11:46Mom, please don't say that.
01:11:47And, yeah, kind of because of that.
01:11:50We were just growing into different people.
01:11:52Don't let this whole my life is over thing get you down.
01:11:55I mean, just come and stay for as long as you want.
01:11:58I really appreciate it, but I have the residency thing,
01:12:00so I'll be out of your hair soon, I promise.
01:12:03We're proud of you, no matter what.
01:12:05What the hell is that?
01:12:06Hey!
01:12:07Oh my...
01:12:08Mom?
01:12:10Dad?
01:12:13Oh my God.
01:12:14Okay, well...
01:12:15Did you hear that?
01:12:16I don't hear anything.
01:12:17Oh shit, she's awake.
01:12:19Hold on, honey.
01:12:20Mommy's here.
01:12:21Beth!
01:12:22Beth!
01:12:22Beth!
01:12:22Beth!
01:12:23Beth!
01:12:24Beth!
01:12:52Please, please, please.
01:13:04What's up?
01:13:05You called Shep's phone.
01:13:06Leave a message.
01:13:10Oh my God.
01:13:11Oh my God.
01:13:22Shep, Shep, I don't, I don't know where you are right now, but please, please, please come back.
01:13:43Mandy!
01:13:48Mandy!
01:13:53Mandy!
01:13:57Shep!
01:13:58Shep!
01:13:59Shep!
01:14:01Shep!
01:14:01Mandy!
01:14:01I'm sorry!
01:14:02No, no, it's okay, it's okay, it's fine, I'm here now, we're good, we're good.
01:14:04There's nobody I'd rather die with.
01:14:06Oh my God, we have so much in common.
01:14:08The window!
01:14:08The window!
01:14:09The window!
01:14:10Hurry!
01:14:16Hi, I was thinking, did you want to go on a second, babe?
01:14:20Let me think about it.
01:14:23Oh my God.
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