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00:00This is Elia Rosanoff.
00:01It's, uh, Hollander and Rosanoff, right?
00:03We will be seeing each other a while.
00:05Yeah, Boston and Montreal play against each other often.
00:07What is your room number?
00:09This is such a bad idea.
00:10You're not gonna tell anyone, because no one can know.
00:13A lot of kids are gonna be looking up to you.
00:15Where's your word, Rosanoff?
00:17My what?
00:17So, what's my name gonna be?
00:19Dream.
00:21How much pressure do you feel from the fans, from the hockey world in general?
00:25What was that?
00:25Not everything is about you, Hollander!
00:27What the fuck are you doing?
00:28I'm in public.
00:30No one is looking...
00:31You don't know that.
00:32Hollander, see you next season.
00:34I'm in public.
00:34Hmm.
01:04Let's go!
02:04Let's go!
02:34Let's go!
02:36Let's go!
02:40Let's go!
02:42Let's go!
02:44Let's go!
02:46Let's go!
02:50Let's go!
02:52Let's go!
02:56Let's go!
02:58Let's go!
03:00Let's go!
03:04Let's go!
03:12Let's go!
03:14Let's go!
03:16Let's go!
03:20Let's go!
03:22Let's go!
03:24Let's go!
03:32Let's go!
03:34Let's go!
03:36Let's go!
03:38Let's go!
03:42Let's go!
03:44Let's go!
03:46Let's go!
03:48Let's go!
03:50Let's go!
03:52Let's go!
03:54Let's go!
03:56Let's go!
03:58Let's go!
04:00Let's go!
04:02Let's go!
04:04Let's go!
04:06Let's go!
04:08Let's go!
04:10Let's go!
04:12Hey!
04:13Hey!
04:14If Rosanoff fucks you tonight!
04:16I'm gonna fucking back!
04:18I think you mean fucks with, buddy!
04:20I fucking mean what I mean!
04:22You're burning a fake Rosanoff oxide right now!
04:24The fuck does that mean?
04:26They do it to you all the time in Boston, you wanna see it?
04:28Uh, no thanks!
04:29Honestly guys, it doesn't help me focus!
04:31Yeah, Mitty, go be weird somewhere else!
04:34I'm not even that weird!
04:36Whatever you need, Captain!
04:38Hey, Hollander!
04:39Can you talk to NBC and some radio outlets in like time?
04:41Oh, Mr. Hollander!
04:46What does Montreal have to do to win tonight?
04:49Well, hockey is a complicated, nuanced game!
04:52But it would be helpful if we scored more fucking goals than the other team!
04:56And how about that other team?
04:59Elia Rosanoff has been on a tear lately!
05:01He had a hat-trick last week, and he's almost caught up to you in the scoring race!
05:04Wanna know what he had to say about that this morning?
05:06No, I'll listen if he actually catches up to me!
05:08Thanks guys!
05:09Let's go!
05:10Let's go!
05:11Let's go!
05:12Let's go!
05:13Let's go!
05:14Let's go!
05:15Let's go!
05:16Let's go!
05:17Let's go!
05:18Let's go!
05:19Let's go!
05:20Let's go!
05:21Let's go!
05:22Let's go!
05:23Let's go!
05:25Let's go!
05:26Let's go!
05:27Let's go!
06:28Wow, this Montreal girl works you out, brother.
06:49Shut your idiot face, Marley.
06:51You're straight up blushing, Ross.
06:52Well, no.
06:53Never in life have I blushed.
06:55Russians do not do this.
07:02You will murder me.
07:14Maybe.
07:15Get in.
07:20Why the fuck did you think it was okay to sex me before the game?
07:23What the fuck?
07:25You were hard, weren't you?
07:26For how long?
07:27The whole game.
07:29Such a fucking ass.
07:31Well, you missed me, didn't you?
07:33I fucking did it.
07:35And I still beat your ass.
07:36Oh, barely.
07:44Wow, nice place.
07:46Thanks.
07:46I bought it a couple years ago, but then this year I bought another one right next door.
07:54I eventually might turn it into one place, but for now I'm renting the next door one out.
07:59Mr. Businessman.
08:00Shut up.
08:01Mr. Landlord.
08:04You asked.
08:04No, I didn't.
08:19So what do you want me?
08:22In the kitchen, on the floor?
08:24Fuck you.
08:29Did your mom buy all these pillows?
08:31No.
08:33I hired someone.
08:34A designer.
08:37You think there is enough?
08:39He's such an asshole.
08:42I think maybe you'll like it.
08:45I'm going to smell the cigarettes from here.
08:48I had one.
08:49You shouldn't be smoking.
08:50You shouldn't be talking.
08:56Come here.
08:57No, you come here.
08:58No, you come here.
08:59No, you come here.
09:04It's the one.
09:27It's the one.
09:27It's the one.
09:29Oh, wow, wow, you think this will be enough?
09:36Fuck off.
09:59Oh, my God.
10:19He's okay.
10:28Oh, shit knows me.
10:49Is he okay?
10:54He's okay.
11:01He's okay.
11:04He's okay.
11:11He's okay.
11:13He's okay.
11:20He's okay.
11:22He's okay.
11:29He's okay.
11:34He's okay.
11:43He's okay.
11:44He's okay.
11:45He's okay.
11:46He's okay.
11:47He's okay.
11:48He's okay.
11:50He's okay.
11:51He's okay.
11:53He's okay.
11:57He's okay.
11:58He's okay.
11:59He's okay.
12:00Another bed's all dead.
12:15What?
12:17Shut up.
12:22I will shower now, okay?
12:30You killed me, Wander.
12:49I'm dead.
12:52That was so fucking hot.
12:58Worth the wait.
13:00I should go.
13:22So, uh, obviously we won't see each other during the Olympics, right?
13:26Oh, right.
13:27Your family must be happy there in Russia.
13:33Mm, yes.
13:35My parents are pretty psyched for me.
13:38They're pissed they can't come, but my mom is starting to wake up at 4 a.m. to watch every game.
13:42I bet, uh, your parents will be there, right?
13:48My father, yes.
13:50Maybe my brother, but who knows.
13:53Cool.
13:54Anyways, I'm psyched.
13:56I've been dreaming about it my whole life.
13:58Dreaming of what?
13:59Ron's medal.
14:01You fucking wish, dude.
14:02Hey, uh, remember when I made you come hands-free?
14:10Don't fuck yourself with us now.
14:13Such a good drink.
14:15The cab is definitely here.
14:27Bye.
14:27Welcome back to Man in the Crease, your all-star hockey podcast.
14:40For the first period, we are four days into this year's Winter Games, and there's already a contender for top story here in Sochi, Russia.
14:46What an embarrassing and too promising year for the Russian men's hockey team.
14:51A hard bill to swallow on all mice, and especially for the young phenom Ilya Rosanoff, chosen as his country's captain.
14:59All in there, what's up, motherfucker?
15:27Good boys.
15:30Holy fuck, can you believe Russia?
15:31Be nice, Fani.
15:32At least he fucking lost Latvia.
15:34Did you see that game?
15:35Yeah, it was a straight-up shit show.
15:37A debacle.
15:38Hey, what did Ross say about it?
15:40Uh, I don't know.
15:41Nothing to me, that's for sure.
15:43I think he knows Canada has this in the bag.
15:45Uh-uh.
15:46It's USA this year, baby.
15:47We're fucking coming for you.
15:48Okay.
15:48Trust me.
15:48You look great in Silver Vani.
15:50Don't even stress.
15:50Oh, good one.
15:54Does your room have that smell?
15:56Yes.
15:57Yes, it does.
15:58Is it black mold?
16:00Because that's what JJ thinks it is.
16:01Yeah, he's probably right.
16:02The good news is, we're not going to be here long.
16:04All right, so tonight we can do the men's short-form figure skating here.
16:06My buddy Joe is in that program.
16:08We're training together.
16:09Would you guys be cool to do that?
16:11I'd love to show up for him.
16:12Hell yeah, man.
16:13Show up for any dude who's that brave.
16:16What do you mean?
16:19Well, I'm assuming your buddy might be gay.
16:21I mean, I fucking pray for a dude to show up to a place like this and be like, hey, here's
16:27me.
16:28Russia is not safe for folks like that.
16:31Fucking balls of steel, man.
16:32I'm skulls of silver, man.
16:33Good boy.
16:33Absolutely.
16:34Good girl.
16:48I'm shaking therobe.
16:50Man, your buddy fucking killed it.
17:06Yeah, he did.
17:10I'm just going to find the bathroom.
17:20Hey.
17:36Not here.
17:38No, I'm not.
17:40I saw you up here. I wanted to see how you're doing.
17:43Fine. Go sit down.
17:48We hit.
17:48We are not anything.
17:51Go away, Olyther.
17:59Are you okay?
18:01Please, go.
18:04You didn't answer my text.
18:07No, I did not answer your boring text.
18:09Now you go.
18:12Fine.
18:13Fuck.
18:14Fuck.
18:18I'll be right back.
18:19I'll be right back.
18:20I'll be right back.
18:21I'll be right back.
18:22I'll be right back.
18:23I'll be right back.
18:24I'll be right back.
18:26I'll be right back.
18:27I'll be right back.
18:28I'll be right back.
18:29I'll be right back.
18:30I'll be right back.
18:31I'll be right back.
18:32I'll be right back.
18:33I'll be right back.
18:34I'll be right back.
18:35I'll be right back.
18:36I'll be right back.
18:37I'll be right back.
18:38I'll be right back.
18:41You have to be proud of it.
18:43After yesterday, you won...
18:48Latvian.
18:50Latvian.
18:52And he is still playing.
18:54How did you do it?
18:56Is it not sad?
18:57Not sad, father.
18:58But not so.
18:59They don't teach you discipline in this American League.
19:02It's not a game, it's a game.
19:04It's a real shame.
19:06It's not to justify the hopes you showed in childhood.
19:10Now I play better than when I play.
19:13Our team is damaged.
19:15The team is playing.
19:16Playing?
19:17What is this American absurd?
19:19What is it playing?
19:21You, captain, you make them playing.
19:24You always find someone who is guilty from childhood.
19:33Who is it to you?
19:36Your mother?
19:38She doesn't do it.
19:39She doesn't do it.
19:40She doesn't do it.
19:41No, my father, mom, is dead.
19:43You remember her mother?
19:44You remember her mother?
19:45Where are you?
19:46Where are you?
19:47In Moscow?
19:48Of course.
19:49She doesn't do it.
19:50She doesn't do it.
19:51She doesn't do it.
19:52She doesn't do it.
19:53She doesn't do it.
19:54I was in your mind.
19:55She doesn't do it.
19:56Where is it?
19:57Where is it?
19:58Where is it?
19:59In Moscow?
20:00Of course.
20:01We have to go.
20:02Of course.
20:03We have to go.
20:04We need to go in the morning,
20:11to be able to meet the minister.
20:17Yes.
20:20Ready?
20:21Let's go.
20:23Of course, he's always the same.
20:26He's always the same.
20:28He's always the same.
20:30He's always the same.
20:32But Kocchew, Kocchew, пусть Том остается.
20:35He needs to be отдыхed.
20:36He's always the same in America.
20:38He's always the same.
20:40Good, good.
20:42You're too good for us.
20:44But it's a problem with leadership.
20:46It's always the problem.
20:48Leadership.
20:50You're too much.
20:52I'm too much talking about.
20:55You're too much talking.
20:58You're too much talking.
21:00You're too much talking.
21:02Especially when it's about hockey.
21:04Only when we're winning, Dad.
21:06I'm going to go to the bar.
21:08He needs to be more than one cup.
21:12Look how she goes for you.
21:15From the same time.
21:17I'm an angel.
21:18It would be good if I remember it.
21:20I want to drink.
21:23I have something interesting.
21:42It's a long time ago, Ilia.
21:48It's a long time ago, Sash.
21:53I think you're not good at playing.
21:57I would say thank you, but I know you didn't watch any other games.
22:01For those who've been a whole life son of a coach for hockey,
22:04you'll be able to do this without you.
22:06I often blame you for me.
22:09When I am.
22:11You will blame me for me.
22:13In any case, it doesn't matter for you.
22:15It doesn't matter for me.
22:16It doesn't matter?
22:17Why did you do that?
22:18My father...
22:19Your father is a fool.
22:20Who will ever kill you.
22:22You need to stop worrying about what he thinks.
22:26And you don't blame me for the stupid games,
22:29when you have a real chance for the cup in this year.
22:32Really?
22:33Yes, really.
22:34The Hunt and Admiral won't go through New Jersey.
22:36The New Jersey won't go through Holland and Montreal.
22:41I think that in this year you will win Montreal.
22:43In this year?
22:44Yes, in this year.
22:45Because I think that Midka is traumatized.
22:51Where do you know everything?
22:52On the extrasens?
22:53On the extrasens?
22:54S' травmified with the men you are no longer leaving.
22:57You've seen a lot of strong teammates.
22:58You've seen a lot of good luck right now.
23:01Get a chance.
23:02It's the Vostok,
23:03and then you will win.
23:05You'll win whoever you are in the West.
23:08In Chicago, not the last year.
23:11You'll win the Finale,
23:12in San Francisco,
23:14and they're good,
23:16but too young.
23:17You'll win the Coupe Xen
23:20a year ago,
23:21than I met with Satsun.
23:22Yes, thank you. I'm going to sleep tomorrow.
23:29You need to be perfect.
23:32You always perfect.
23:34Yes, but you need to agree with us.
23:38We'll see you later.
23:41See you later.
23:48Well, what?
23:51Like Paris, Sasha.
23:54Wow.
23:55It's cool.
23:57I just love this place.
24:00Clubs?
24:02It's my head.
24:04The girls.
24:06It's just nice.
24:08And boys?
24:10Well, you've seen French boys.
24:15Yes, Ilya?
24:21Well, you're not perfect.
24:22You're not happy.
24:23You're not happy.
24:24You're not happy.
24:25You're not happy.
24:26So, you don't want to go again.
24:32You don't shoot, you don't flirt with me.
24:40And once, you were fun.
24:56Here? Seriously?
25:02The danger was before you. If you remember, you don't miss me.
25:12We are children, Sash.
25:17Yes, it's true.
25:20Let's go.
25:24Let's go.
25:26Okay.
25:27Let's go.
25:31No.
25:41Okay.
25:43I'll find a wedding.
25:46Okay.
25:50Okay.
25:54The guy is here.
25:57I was happy to see you.
26:20What?
26:21What am I supposed to do?
26:22I don't know. My mom told me to get by.
26:24Oh, my God.
26:28There's ginger ale on the pitch.
26:29Okay, playoffs are over. You cannot keep the beer.
26:31That's not a rule. You just made that up.
26:33Hollander, is that a rule?
26:34Unfortunately, it is.
26:35Fuck you, Hollander. You can barely even grow one.
26:37No, no. Fuck you, Swedish inbred.
26:39Fuck you, Jay.
26:40Come on.
26:41Just fucking do it, Hayden.
26:42Stop it.
26:44Boys, it's starting.
26:46Turn it up.
26:47It's game six and the cup is somewhere inside as we speak.
26:50You know that Ilya Rosanoff wants this bad.
26:52Rosanoff and the Raiders have been on fire since the Olympic break.
26:56A heartbreaking game for the Russians seems to have only intensified the young Boston captain.
27:02He's on a tear, scoring ten goals over the past six playoff games.
27:06Okay, listen the fuck up.
27:08Look, I don't give a fuck how many goals I've scored.
27:12I don't give a fuck how I played two fucking nights ago.
27:17I don't need to think about that.
27:18That was yesterday.
27:19That was before.
27:21Now, I only need one thing.
27:25I need to win.
27:29Here.
27:30At home.
27:31Tonight.
27:33As much fun as it would be to go to California and humiliate them there.
27:37But I want to hear our fans.
27:39I want to hear them scream.
27:43I want to fuck San Francisco.
27:47I know you can do it.
27:49I've seen you fucking do it.
27:50I've seen every one of you do it.
27:53So leave it all the fuck out there tonight.
27:58Because this is our fucking night.
28:02This is our fucking cup.
28:06Fucking fuck San Francisco.
28:09We'll fuck you.
28:11I can't believe that asshole is about to win the cup.
28:14Shane hates him the most.
28:15What?
28:16You hate Rosanoff.
28:17Of course.
28:18But he's very good at acting.
28:19The best probably.
28:20Eh, nah.
28:21You're the fucking best all-hander.
28:22Yeah.
28:23Okay?
28:24Not that animal shit show cock sucking Russian.
28:26Now that is that.
28:27The Boston Raiders are your MLH champions.
28:28What a comeback story this year for Lilia Rosenhoff.
28:29The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs.
28:31Leading his team in block shots.
28:32Leading his team in block shots.
28:33In shots against.
28:34And obviously.
28:35Leading his team in block shots.
28:36Leading his team in block shots.
28:37Leading his team in block shots.
28:38And obviously.
28:39The captain of the last.
28:40The captain of the last.
28:41The Boston Raiders are your MLH champions.
28:44What a comeback story this year from Ilya Rosenhoff.
28:47The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs,
28:50leading his team in block shots in shots against
28:53and obviously the time on that.
28:57Legend of LeBron!
29:11Well, nice watch.
29:29Can I give this to you for free or what?
29:30Where the fuck were you, Ron? Five seconds.
29:32Yeah, 25 seconds.
29:33What were you even doing?
29:36And now, presenting the Lord Tower Award...
29:39I was busy.
29:40It was who?
29:41Ilya Rosenhoff and Shane Hoffman.
29:49But the most important thing...
29:52is the friends we make along the way.
29:56Hey, before we give out next award,
29:59can I get a selfie with you?
30:01What?
30:02Come on, when will this ever happen again, buddy?
30:05Okay, fine, but hurry up.
30:07Great.
30:15Give me your number.
30:16I'll text them to you.
30:17No chance.
30:20And the Lord Talon Award for most sportsman-like player
30:22goes to...
30:44Well...
31:07What?
31:08What the fuck do you want, Rosanoff?
31:11You haven't answered a text from me in like six months.
31:15You won't even acknowledge I exist unless there's a fucking camera pointed at us and then it's for some fucking clown show.
31:21So yeah, what the fuck do you actually want from me?
31:27Well?
31:31I want you to suck my dick.
31:32Oh fuck you, you are unbelievable. You suck my dick.
31:41Maybe ask nicely.
31:57Hmm?
31:58Please.
31:59Please.
32:04If you want me to get on my knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck your dick, you will have to ask nicer than that.
32:10Please get on your knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck my dick.
32:22Please.
32:23Please.
32:34No.
32:38What?
32:40No.
32:41We will go back to our seats, watch the rest of this boring show, and then go to boring party after.
32:50And then, when you have been waiting all night, you'll come back to my hotel room and I will maybe, maybe, do more than just suck your dick.
33:03When did your English get so good?
33:09I, uh, I read the New Yorker now.
33:12Really?
33:13No.
33:14The New Yorker is boring.
33:18My dad loves it.
33:20Ah.
33:22So being boring is, is genetic.
33:24Wow.
33:26Genetic.
33:32Let's make a deal.
33:34If you win MVP tonight, I will blow you, fuck you, whatever you want.
33:42And if you win?
33:43Good luck coming.
34:01Good luck coming.
34:13Oh my god, okay?
34:14I'll be back with you.
34:15I'm going to have to leave my home right now.
34:19Oh my god.
34:20Oh my god, I am fine.
34:22I'll be back with you.
34:23Oh my god, I am fine.
34:25I've been left in the house.
34:27There's, like, I'll be back.
34:29I'm going to go ahead, second one.
34:30Congratulations.
34:51Now take off your clothes.
34:54You're such an asshole.
35:00You're such an asshole.
35:30You're such an asshole.
36:00Good.
36:08Now get on the bed.
36:16This is a good hotel.
36:18Very nice vodka.
36:20It's hard to find in America.
36:22Okay.
36:26Touch yourself.
36:27What?
36:28Show up for me. I want to watch you.
36:30You what?
36:32It's my special day, Hollander. I want to watch.
36:34I've never...
36:36No shit.
36:37Fuck you.
36:39Give me some vodka, at least.
36:40No, no, no.
36:42Vodka is for after. It's your reward.
36:59Do you want to know how it feels?
37:21How it feels.
37:24Holding the cup.
37:27You fucking asshole.
37:28I can barely describe it. Oh my God, Hollander.
37:31Fuck.
37:40Fuck.
37:41Are you gonna fuck me?
37:56We will see.
38:00I need...
38:01What?
38:04I need you.
38:16I need you.
38:19I need you.
38:21I need you.
38:22I need you.
38:23I need you.
38:23I need you.
38:24I need you.
38:25I need you.
38:25I need you.
38:26I need you.
38:27I need you.
38:28I need you.
38:29I need you.
38:30I need you.
38:31I need you.
38:32I need you.
38:33I need you.
38:34I need you.
38:35I need you.
38:36I need you.
38:37I need you.
38:38I need you.
38:39I need you.
38:40I need you.
38:41I need you.
38:42I need you.
38:43I need you.
38:44I need you.
38:45I need you.
39:16So Russia this year was something else.
39:24It's intense there.
39:31So are you heading back soon?
39:34Back.
39:36To Russia for the summer?
39:39Oh, yes.
39:46Why?
39:49What do you mean, why?
39:52Do you have to?
39:55There is no have to.
39:56It's home.
40:00Yeah.
40:01But I don't know.
40:03Is it safe?
40:06What do you mean, safe?
40:07I don't know.
40:11Do you even like it there?
40:20What difference does it make?
40:22A pretty big one, I think.
40:24I need to sleep.
40:33Oh.
40:35Yeah, me too.
40:36I should, uh...
40:38So, uh, I'm off.
40:47Goodbye, Hollander.
40:50Goodbye, Hollander.
40:51Come on.
41:21Come on.
41:51Come on.
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