- 4 hours ago
A Mexican father's Christmas celebration goes from merry to messy when his daughter shows up with her new boyfriend.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30Transcription by CastingWords
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00:01:59Transcription by CastingWords
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00:03:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:04:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:04:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:05:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:05:59No, no, no, no, no, here's a beautiful thing, I already called your boss and I told her about all the things you used to do when you were little, how we knew you were going to be big and fashion, I ain't dressing up the little lady because I'm having a fashion show for me, they were nine years old when you were nine, and I told her that, you know, you wanted me to come over here to be with your family, and she said that they were going to be closed between Christmas and New Year's, and she didn't mind if you left a day early.
00:06:20And she said that they were going to be closed by the day early.
00:06:50And she said that they were going to be closed by the day early.
00:06:55And she said that they were going to be closed by the day early.
00:06:59To spend them with my family in East L.A.?
00:07:04That's your idea of the ultimate romantic paradise?
00:07:07I know how important family is to you.
00:07:10So actually, what better gift to a girl who lives so far from home?
00:07:15You're kidding, right?
00:07:16I'm totally joking.
00:07:17Oh, okay, I was going to say.
00:07:19This is crazy.
00:07:20I'm actually, I'm not joking.
00:07:22Look, I got the tickets.
00:07:23What?
00:07:24Yeah.
00:07:24No, you didn't.
00:07:25No, you didn't.
00:07:29Um, I mean, I mean, I do miss them.
00:07:35But babe, I'm not going to wish spending Christmas with my family upon anyone.
00:07:39I just want to make you happy.
00:07:42You know, would spending the holidays with your family make you happy?
00:07:45Yeah.
00:07:51We're doing this?
00:07:52Yes.
00:07:53Are you sure?
00:07:54Yes.
00:07:55100%.
00:07:56Yeah.
00:07:56Positive.
00:07:57I mean, call your dad back and tell him you got a new boyfriend, or?
00:08:00Oh.
00:08:01It's like he doesn't know I exist.
00:08:03It's okay.
00:08:04Don't worry.
00:08:05My dad loves surprises.
00:08:12I hate surprises.
00:08:14Take this check, take that gift, give it to your mom.
00:08:19She's got no hablas.
00:08:20Yeah.
00:08:21Yeah.
00:08:27Merry Christmas.
00:08:35Feliz Navidad.
00:08:36Happy 25th.
00:08:39No matter how you say it, you can't help but to say it with a smile.
00:08:42But this year, Christmas will come in a different shape and form.
00:08:47One that I could have never imagined.
00:08:51One that would change my father's unwilling heart forever.
00:08:54He's Mr. Sanchez.
00:08:57Mi casa es su casa.
00:08:58No, mi amor.
00:08:59La casa de mi padre es definitivamente su casa.
00:09:01Huh?
00:09:02Am I the first white guy to set foot in this neighborhood, or?
00:09:13No.
00:09:14No, no, no.
00:09:15Uh-uh.
00:09:16Most of the police are away.
00:09:19I mean, I'm sure your dad's going to love you bringing home a gringo boyfriend.
00:09:23Oh.
00:09:23I know.
00:09:24I'm beautiful.
00:09:25We're going to eat them.
00:09:26My father is an equal-opportunity boyfriend-hater.
00:09:30Okay?
00:09:48Papi chulo.
00:09:49Hey, look.
00:09:50It's a mini Mario Lopez.
00:09:52Hey, what's up, ese?
00:09:54What's in the box, eh?
00:09:55I'm hungry.
00:09:56Me too.
00:09:57Hey, throw me a bear claw.
00:09:59Hey, fool.
00:10:00You're on a diet, remember?
00:10:02No carbs, ese.
00:10:03That's right, ese.
00:10:04You know how much I love conchitas?
00:10:06Hey, what color, fool?
00:10:07Don't tell nobody, homie, but the pink one, ese.
00:10:09Ah, that's what's up, fool.
00:10:10That's what's right.
00:10:11Want some right now?
00:10:11Let's go.
00:10:16Oh.
00:10:16Ay, Dios mio.
00:10:18Buenos dias, señorita.
00:10:20Javier de la Torre, at your service.
00:10:22Of course you are.
00:10:23You must be Carmencita.
00:10:26Carmencita?
00:10:27Tu mamĂĄ.
00:10:27No seas mala.
00:10:29PĂĄsale.
00:10:30Gracias, gracias.
00:10:31Who is it?
00:10:32Home delivery services.
00:10:34How are my favorite ladies on the block doing today?
00:10:37Bien, bien.
00:10:38PĂĄsale.
00:10:39Just dropped by to bring you ladies some pan dulce.
00:10:41Thought it would be good with your cafecito.
00:10:44Hay que le dan pan que llore.
00:10:45I'm running late for an appointment.
00:10:55Big remodel in Brentwood.
00:10:56We're open 24-7.
00:10:58Ay, sin vergĂŒenza.
00:11:00Me voy.
00:11:01Caby, te veo.
00:11:02Ăngale.
00:11:02By the way, you ladies should be arrested.
00:11:06Why?
00:11:07I heard it was against the law to look so beautiful.
00:11:11Ay, no mamayes.
00:11:14Este cabroncito.
00:11:16I dated a guy like him once.
00:11:18You dated someone that looks like everyone.
00:11:20Ay, mira, le dije este boy to Connie, and he texts me back.
00:11:25Pues porque no le hablas tĂș.
00:11:27Pues porque he should be calling me.
00:11:30Where from last night?
00:11:32No, no, no.
00:11:33That was Hector.
00:11:34This is Fernando, the computer programmer.
00:11:37I need a computer just to keep track.
00:11:40Okay, so, but, but, um, we miss you.
00:11:42So, when are you arriving?
00:11:45Ăngale.
00:11:46Okay, okay, hurry.
00:11:48Okay, okay, you guys.
00:11:50Guess what?
00:11:51¿Qué?
00:11:52Mi Claudito's on her way!
00:11:54Ay, mi chico!
00:11:56Ay, qué lindo!
00:11:58Ay, qué lindo!
00:11:58Check it out, my suegro's here.
00:12:04That's my suegro, homie.
00:12:06Oh, God, on it.
00:12:07Ay, when did you guys get out?
00:12:09Ay, Vato, what's up?
00:12:12What's that?
00:12:12You got cramps?
00:12:13Ay, do what my mother-in-law does.
00:12:15She knocks a candle at night.
00:12:16What you say, ese?
00:12:17Ay, don't be disrespecting the homeboy, ese.
00:12:19You guys disrespect this neighborhood every time you stand out here.
00:12:21Don't you guys work?
00:12:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:23Ay, ay, Casper's working on his probation, I'm working on a new s-song, and Lucky's working
00:12:28on a tasty, delicious m-m-m-m-liquor.
00:12:31That's right.
00:12:32That's what you guys need, more shit to make you stupid.
00:12:34Hey, Benny, what on the street is, your daughter's coming home.
00:12:38Yeah, she's real fine, ese.
00:12:39Yo, don't talk about my daughter, man.
00:12:41Don't look at her.
00:12:42Ay, calmate, homs.
00:12:43I bet you she's all tele-novella style.
00:12:46Them homegirls be hotter than two lizards sleeping on a rock in the middle of the desert.
00:12:51The trash is Tuesday.
00:12:52Let me go set up and get you some Aspen for your cramps sake.
00:12:55What the hell does that mean, fool?
00:12:57I mean...
00:12:58Quick, vato.
00:13:06What's three plus four minus one divided by shut the fudge up, homie?
00:13:10Fudge?
00:13:11Shut the fudge up?
00:13:12Hey, homs, what the hell was that?
00:13:14I told you, ese.
00:13:15I quit by words.
00:13:16Cold turkey.
00:13:17And now, I'm a born-again cholo, so shut the fudge up, homie.
00:13:22But how can you be born again?
00:13:25Oh, my head hurts.
00:13:31Oh.
00:13:33Save that post for later.
00:13:35Hey, Benny, you broke my zen, hombre.
00:13:37I think you should be more personal with breaking your back.
00:13:39It's yoga, Benny.
00:13:40You don't break your back.
00:13:41You should try it.
00:13:42Maybe you're more flexible in life.
00:13:44No, no, no.
00:13:45Where I come from, if they catch you in a position like that,
00:13:47you'll get beat up.
00:13:48Well, you want me to put the presents?
00:13:49Pues ahĂ donde siempre, mi amor, allĂĄ en el tree.
00:13:51Uh-uh.
00:13:53Ay.
00:13:55Ay.
00:13:57Gordo.
00:13:58We need to get on your tree.
00:14:00Esto estĂĄ todo raggedy, todo ralo.
00:14:02Doesn't even feel like Christmas.
00:14:03It doesn't smell like a real tree.
00:14:05Oh.
00:14:06Yeah.
00:14:06Ha-ha.
00:14:07Look at this.
00:14:08Wild forest pie.
00:14:09Bring the essence of the forest into your home.
00:14:12Ay, Benicio.
00:14:13Don't waste it.
00:14:14We need it when you go hacer caquita.
00:14:17OK.
00:14:18Well, then you know what?
00:14:18I'm going to get a real Christmas tree.
00:14:20A traditional Hispanic Mexican American Christmas tree.
00:14:24OK.
00:14:24And how's that?
00:14:25Because Claudio's coming home.
00:14:27And as a family, we're going to have a traditional Hispanic
00:14:28Mexican American Christmas.
00:14:30So it's going to be the best Christmas ever, you know?
00:14:32Uh-huh.
00:14:33And when did you think of this?
00:14:34And why am I the last one to know?
00:14:36Because you always say no.
00:14:37What's going on, Benny?
00:14:40Uh-huh.
00:14:41What's going on here?
00:14:44Something going on?
00:14:46What's going on?
00:14:47What you thinking?
00:14:48A ver, Gordo.
00:14:51Mi gordita, you really miss your baby.
00:14:54Is that what this is all about?
00:14:55Eh?
00:14:56This is where she belongs.
00:14:57Where are we?
00:14:57You're so far away.
00:14:58You know, and you've got all the technocraticos.
00:15:00I mean, what's wrong with L.A.?
00:15:01We could see her on the weekends.
00:15:02Remember when we used to go out and...
00:15:04Espérame, espérame, Benito, espérame.
00:15:06Not always about you.
00:15:07She landed a big job.
00:15:09She's got her new gig and the fancy magazine,
00:15:11what she wanted.
00:15:12Can we be happy for her?
00:15:13Can we?
00:15:13Oh, no.
00:15:14Yeah, no, I'm happy for her.
00:15:15Yeah.
00:15:16I just want to show her that I can plan the best
00:15:18and most feliz Navidad that she's ever had.
00:15:20Okay, well, that's good.
00:15:23You drive me crazy.
00:15:25You drive me crazy.
00:15:26Yeah.
00:15:26No, no, no.
00:15:28Vengase, my God.
00:15:29No, no, no, no.
00:15:30I love you, my yoga mama.
00:15:31Mira, hey, watch this.
00:15:33I'm going to do it to me.
00:15:33Andale, a ver.
00:15:34A ver si te sale.
00:15:36Aja, ahora estirale.
00:15:37Ay, espérame.
00:15:38Calabre, calabre, calabre.
00:15:40Que, donde estĂĄ la asiĂĄtica?
00:15:41En mis nalgas.
00:15:42En la asiĂĄtica, hombre.
00:15:43En mis nalgas.
00:15:43Up higher, higher.
00:15:44En mis nalgas.
00:15:45AcĂĄ.
00:15:45ÂżDĂłnde?
00:15:46Higher, higher, higher.
00:15:47Ay, ay, ay.
00:15:48Ay, vatos.
00:16:13I still can't get no respect.
00:16:15What's that fool doing?
00:16:16He's bringing Christmas to the streets, eh?
00:16:18Ay, Benny.
00:16:19What are you doing, fool?
00:16:20Christmas ain't over yet, eh?
00:16:22Ay, Christmas.
00:16:23Don't smoke it.
00:16:27Ay, follow me, homie.
00:16:28Ay, go check it out, homies.
00:16:30I got your back.
00:16:32Damn, that tree is jacked up.
00:16:34Ay, that's what's up, ese.
00:16:36I could take this to those disadvantaged,
00:16:38underprivileged kids, homie.
00:16:39You mean homeless kids or orphans?
00:16:42My kids, vato, I'm picking this home.
00:16:45I'm in no school before he changes his mind, ese.
00:16:47Hey, have you ever smoked a Christmas tree before?
00:16:49Yeah, homie.
00:16:50Hey, fool, you see flying reindeers
00:16:52and dancing gingerbreads, homie.
00:16:53I'm down, homie.
00:16:54Forget your kids, let's smoke that, homie.
00:16:55Let's go, homie.
00:16:56Come on, watch out, homie.
00:16:58Let's go, fool.
00:16:59Hey, don't be starting to smoke without me, ese.
00:17:01Who got the lighters?
00:17:02Who got the lighters?
00:17:03Mini, Ben, we already got a mini bottle.
00:17:20Come on, pico.
00:17:24Try to stay sober this year.
00:17:25Vamos.
00:17:30Feliz Navidad!
00:17:31Ah, you're home!
00:17:33Oh, I miss you so much.
00:17:35I miss you so much.
00:17:36Oh, my God.
00:17:37Okay, I have something to tell you.
00:17:39I have something to tell you, too.
00:17:40Uh-huh.
00:17:40You're daddy's little girl forever.
00:17:45I'm glad you're home.
00:17:46No, okay, dad.
00:17:47Oh, you're going to have to look up a cat.
00:17:48I can't breathe.
00:17:48Oh, okay.
00:17:50I have a surprise for you.
00:17:52Come back from New York.
00:17:52Ta llenando surprises.
00:17:54Oh, yeah.
00:17:54Oh, yeah.
00:17:54Hey, mom, dad.
00:18:07This is my boyfriend, Leif.
00:18:09Leif, mom and dad.
00:18:23Well, your boyfriend.
00:18:25Mm-hmm.
00:18:26Un gringo.
00:18:29Oyakum, Lavasin, or Sanchez.
00:18:32¿Qué dijo?
00:18:33We meant to say hello.
00:18:34No, no, that's right.
00:18:35I just want to hear from him.
00:18:37Mr. Sanchez, it's a pleasure to meet you.
00:18:43Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
00:18:45Ah, bienvenido, Leif.
00:18:54Gracias.
00:18:55Welcome to the family, gĂŒey.
00:18:56Hi, welcome to the family.
00:18:57Mr. Sanchez, thank you so much.
00:18:59I'm so excited.
00:19:00I've never been in a Mexican home before.
00:19:02This is crazy.
00:19:06A Mexican home.
00:19:10A Mexican home.
00:19:11Okay, okay.
00:19:12Family meeting in a Mexican home right now.
00:19:15What do you think?
00:19:19We sleep on Chile?
00:19:20Chingo?
00:19:21That fool's a bad man.
00:19:22Last time I saw him that mad,
00:19:23that's when I took his lawnmower, dog.
00:19:26You got the white boy in the back.
00:19:28I'm a fool.
00:19:29Look at that face.
00:19:29Look at me.
00:19:30It's not even her type, dog.
00:19:34I thought she was at the cholos.
00:19:35I don't like the way that fool looked at me, dog.
00:19:37So you want to go back?
00:19:38I'm ready.
00:19:39I'm ready.
00:19:40Come on, man.
00:19:41Let's go jump with me.
00:19:42Seriously?
00:19:42He has money?
00:19:45Did you know about this?
00:19:56Did you know?
00:19:57No, I didn't know anything.
00:19:58What's going on?
00:19:58I didn't know nothing.
00:19:59I didn't know anything.
00:19:59I didn't know anything.
00:20:00What's going on?
00:20:00Since when?
00:20:01She's gorgeous.
00:20:03How come you didn't tell me?
00:20:04I wanted it to be a surprise.
00:20:07Yeah, that wasn't a surprise.
00:20:08That was an ambush.
00:20:10You think it was a surprise when the Americans went to Mexico and invaded Mexico, and afterwards
00:20:13all the Mexicans are hanging out.
00:20:14Mira nomĂĄs.
00:20:15Wow, what a surprise.
00:20:15Hey, he was rude to me first.
00:20:26I wanted a brown Christmas, not a white Christmas, okay?
00:20:29I wanted a traditional Christmas, con las abuelas, and their tĂo, and your tĂa, and tamales,
00:20:33and all your cousins playing in the street hurting themselves, asĂ, a Mexican Christmas.
00:20:37How about you just, you give him a chance before you start judging him, okay?
00:20:42Give me a chance.
00:20:46What's the chance?
00:20:47That his dad's name?
00:20:48Next thing you know, he'll be carrying water, como pendejos.
00:20:50What time does a movie start?
00:20:59Hey, nothing that a tequila can't fix.
00:21:02Sleep?
00:21:02I sleep.
00:21:03Ah, yeah, yeah, I know.
00:21:05Make yourself at home, hmm?
00:21:07Mrs. Sanchez, I know this is a surprise.
00:21:11See, Mr. Sanchez, he called Claudia, invited her home for Christmas.
00:21:15Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't worry, you don't have to explain yourself.
00:21:19The most important thing is that you're both here.
00:21:21I just wanted to surprise him.
00:21:22Well, you did surprise him, mijita, you did.
00:21:25You even surprised La Tuzi aquĂ.
00:21:28You even surprised me.
00:21:29Why do you keep in secrets like that, huh?
00:21:31Same, come on.
00:21:32How's he, Diff?
00:21:33Ah, it's Leif.
00:21:34I have to have a serious talk with that.
00:21:49And I have a date with a chela.
00:21:52Chela?
00:21:52What do you want to drink?
00:22:00What do you want to drink, eh?
00:22:01Una, oye, oye, una cocadita.
00:22:04Un dulcecito.
00:22:05Ah, gracias.
00:22:08Guys, it's gonna be okay.
00:22:09Tito.
00:22:31I feel like I'm starting the next Mexican-American war here.
00:22:40I'm sorry, babe.
00:22:43I'm sorry.
00:22:44I'm surprised my crib still isn't in here.
00:23:03You know, Claudia, if this is gonna be an issue with your family,
00:23:06I feel like I should probably just go.
00:23:08What?
00:23:09Yeah.
00:23:09No.
00:23:10Come here.
00:23:12Come here.
00:23:15It's not my family.
00:23:18It's my father.
00:23:22He just needs to get to know you.
00:23:25In the same way that I know you.
00:23:29I love you.
00:23:30I love you, too.
00:23:31Ay, ay, ay.
00:23:32Chinga la madre.
00:23:33I think I'm straight.
00:23:38I think I'm straight in my back.
00:23:40Ay, ay, ay, I go get the Vicks.
00:23:41It's good for broken backs.
00:23:43Okay, you breathe.
00:23:44Y ahĂ vas.
00:23:46You breathe.
00:23:46No, espérame.
00:23:47Ay, ay, ay.
00:23:49Ay, pero miren qué te pasó.
00:23:52ÂżCĂłmo te enredaste asĂ, irala?
00:23:54SĂ.
00:23:54Ay, no seas canso.
00:23:55HĂĄblale a la cama a la manta.
00:23:57Esa narita de rana, mija.
00:24:00Is that better?
00:24:01No, no, no, no.
00:24:01We'll have to breathe it in.
00:24:04A ver, a ver, how about now?
00:24:06AjĂĄ, it's not helping.
00:24:08I have to check the expiration date of it.
00:24:10Ay, ay, ay.
00:24:13ÂżEstĂĄ bien?
00:24:14ÂżEstĂĄ bien?
00:24:15¿Qué pasó?
00:24:16ÂżEstĂĄ bien?
00:24:17Slow down.
00:24:19Ok, ok, ok, ok.
00:24:21You're going to want to relax.
00:24:22Slow down.
00:24:24Slow down.
00:24:25Remember the yoga.
00:24:26Don't breath.
00:24:27Don't let me be careful.
00:24:28I know what I'm doing.
00:24:28I know what I'm doing.
00:24:29Be careful, please, ok?
00:24:30Deep breaths.
00:24:30Ok, sĂ.
00:24:31No, you're not going to crack me.
00:24:33I have kidney stone.
00:24:34Don't crack me.
00:24:35I got this.
00:24:35Be careful, baby, please.
00:24:37We're going to move you like this way, ok?
00:24:39Ok, I'll bet.
00:24:39Just be slow.
00:24:40Baby, be careful.
00:24:40She's doing so good.
00:24:41A ver.
00:24:42Just breathe.
00:24:43Bye, bye, bye.
00:24:44What the fuck?
00:24:45No, no, what the fuck?
00:24:49Honey.
00:24:49¿Qué te pasó, dad?
00:24:50What is this?
00:24:51Ok, she was just helping.
00:24:53Oh my god, he was just helping mom with an injury from yoga.
00:24:56Don't you think you're overreacting a little bit?
00:25:00Es porque es blanco?
00:25:03Dad, since when do we judge people by the color of their skin?
00:25:09This isn't about the color of their skin or the lack of color of their skin.
00:25:12I like gringos, alright?
00:25:15Because of them, we have this amazing house in this great country.
00:25:18We have food on our table.
00:25:20I mean, I love their food.
00:25:21Pizza and hot dogs.
00:25:22I mean, there's no taste.
00:25:23Like eating cardboard, satelope, chile, right there.
00:25:24Eh, papa, papa, ¿qué pasa?
00:25:26Yeah.
00:25:26Yeah.
00:25:31How about in front of all these witnesses,
00:25:33we make a promise?
00:25:38That you're going to give him a chance.
00:25:39Just got to know him.
00:25:45Yeah.
00:25:46Of course.
00:25:50Hi.
00:25:51Hi.
00:26:07Hey.
00:26:08Are you feeling better?
00:26:09You need to apologize to leave.
00:26:15Leif.
00:26:20You know he actually fixed my back?
00:26:22Mira.
00:26:23Mira.
00:26:24He used to work on los estos, estos, los, como se llaman los de New York.
00:26:29Los quiropracticadores, esos que tenĂan la...
00:26:31Anyway, I feel better.
00:26:33No sabĂa.
00:26:35Y so, delay your handy boy if you can help us with this aquĂ.
00:26:38Mira.
00:26:40¿Qué te parece?
00:26:41¿Y eso qué es?
00:26:42That's how they did it in Mexico.
00:26:43Is it a Christmas tree?
00:26:44ÂżUno pan?
00:26:45Yeah.
00:26:46ÂżVale?
00:26:47Mira.
00:26:48Listen, does nobody care about tradition around here except me?
00:26:51It's Christmas Eve.
00:26:52You know where they're at?
00:26:53EstĂĄn ahĂ Christmas Eve, eating tofu con ese gringo.
00:26:56That's why Chicanos are losing their roots.
00:26:58First we lost California, and then Arizona, and then Texas, and then New Mexico.
00:27:02New Mexico, they don't even consider themselves Mexicans.
00:27:04They consider themselves New Mexican.
00:27:05How could you be a New Mexican?
00:27:07You know how?
00:27:07Because all old Mexicans are dying, and the new ones are coming over, and where are they
00:27:11at Christmas Eve, eating tofu con un gringo, that's why.
00:27:14ÂżEstĂĄ buen?
00:27:15EstĂĄ bonito.
00:27:16Am I doing everything wrong?
00:27:17No, estĂĄ bonito.
00:27:18Mira el moñito.
00:27:19EstĂĄ bonito.
00:27:22Pero you're changing the subject.
00:27:23You're going to go and apologize to leave.
00:27:26Leave.
00:27:26Anda, leave.
00:27:27Hey, vatos.
00:27:44Check it out.
00:27:46I think he's mad at something.
00:27:48Yeah, the foreigner.
00:27:50Say what, Sue?
00:27:51You're from Puerto Rico.
00:27:52I'm mad at your mom for having you.
00:27:53Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:27:54Let me school you real quick, Gacy.
00:27:55That is U.S. territory, homie.
00:27:58No, it's not.
00:27:59Yes, it is.
00:28:00No, it's not, fool.
00:28:01Yes, it is.
00:28:02Hey, you put pineapple on your pizza?
00:28:03Oh, yeah.
00:28:04I love piña.
00:28:06You see?
00:28:06That's where you're confused, and soon your ass is going to be singing country music in
00:28:10Spanish at a rap concert.
00:28:11What's that mean?
00:28:12You see?
00:28:13Says a jealous German-looking Mexican.
00:28:17Hey, ¿qué pasó, ese?
00:28:19What's up, homie?
00:28:19Hey, don't be judging no book by the color of the sleeve, homie.
00:28:22What?
00:28:23Sleeve?
00:28:24These are sleeves.
00:28:26Right here, homie.
00:28:27That's a highlighter.
00:28:28Yeah, I can tatch you up real quick, homie.
00:28:29Look.
00:28:30Bone tatted.
00:28:31What's up, highlights?
00:28:32Hey, don't panic, fool.
00:28:34I'm Hispanic.
00:28:35All right.
00:28:35I guess he's organic.
00:28:37Hey, forget you, fools.
00:28:38Put the music back on.
00:28:41Oh.
00:28:43Oh.
00:28:43Oh.
00:28:45You said, Jess?
00:28:46I don't know.
00:28:47I'm all right.
00:28:48Oh.
00:28:49Oh.
00:28:50Hey, give me the pool.
00:28:52Ay, te va el pool.
00:28:53Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:28:54Ay, te va el pool.
00:28:55Don't get too close.
00:28:57Watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out.
00:28:59You're right.
00:29:01Okay.
00:29:04Got you.
00:29:05I want to say something.
00:29:06Say something to you.
00:29:08Ah, si, senor Sanchez.
00:29:11Can you do me a favor?
00:29:12Si?
00:29:13Can you stop calling me that?
00:29:15What?
00:29:15Senor Sanchez-ze.
00:29:16You know what, just call me Benny instead.
00:29:19Sure thing.
00:29:20Yeah.
00:29:21Hey, so, if I wanted to, uh, I wanted to apologize to you for earlier today.
00:29:26I mean, I...
00:29:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:29:29Senor, senor, Mr. Benny, it's really, it's...
00:29:31No, man, listen.
00:29:32I mean, I thought, you know, you look like...
00:29:36Oh, crap.
00:29:37Gee, how did I look at this bush?
00:29:39What a mess.
00:29:40Oh, yeah.
00:29:41Here we are.
00:29:42Watch this.
00:29:43No, it's all messed up.
00:29:45Shut up.
00:29:46Uh, you know, I could, uh, I could help you with that.
00:29:53Really?
00:29:55I know my way around a hedge.
00:29:58Yeah.
00:29:58Really?
00:29:59Yeah.
00:30:00All right, don't go nowhere.
00:30:01Hang on.
00:30:03White boy's risking this huevos, eh?
00:30:08Ah, let's see.
00:30:10Yeah.
00:30:11All right.
00:30:12Okay.
00:30:12Good luck.
00:30:14Uh...
00:30:14Damn, homie, I ain't never seen anything like this in my life.
00:30:43Wow.
00:30:47Hey, white boy gets down, eh?
00:30:58Bring it.
00:30:58Oh, yeah.
00:30:59Let's go home.
00:31:00All right.
00:31:01All right.
00:31:01Hey, he's a damn fool, Wesson.
00:31:12Chapa labra.
00:31:20Yeah, I think I know why that home girl come in love with him, eh?
00:31:23Mr. Benny.
00:31:23Mr. Benny.
00:31:23All right.
00:31:24All right.
00:31:24So many.
00:31:32Yeah.
00:31:34Yeah.
00:31:37Anytime.
00:31:38Did that white boy just teach that Mexican how to landscape?
00:31:42Look, Benny's speechless.
00:31:45Hey, fools.
00:31:46And what's next?
00:31:47They gonna valet park our lowriders, or qué?
00:31:49Yeah, he better be careful with the state, fool.
00:31:51Palabra.
00:31:51He ain't touching my car, fool.
00:32:02What do you think?
00:32:03Um, I mean, I like all of it, except for the flags.
00:32:07What's wrong with the flag?
00:32:08Dad, it's Christmas, not Cinco de Mayo.
00:32:10Red, white, and green.
00:32:11Jesus was Mexican.
00:32:12Que, que?
00:32:13I never told you.
00:32:15His real name is Jesus, right?
00:32:16Hi.
00:32:16He rode around on a mule, lived at home until he was 33.
00:32:19Mm-hmm.
00:32:20Swear his mom was a virgin.
00:32:21Your tia Concha, she has seven kids,
00:32:22and she swears that she's a virgin.
00:32:24Now, either she's lying, or one of those kids is a messiah.
00:32:27Okay, Dad, I love him.
00:32:28And your tia was not one who was locked up in county?
00:32:30Said he found Jesus there.
00:32:31Everybody loves Jesus.
00:32:32Dad, I'm trying to explain something to you here
00:32:34so we can have, like, a real talk,
00:32:36but you're not really listening to me,
00:32:37so is there a way that we can meet in the middle?
00:32:38We need to have a talk, you and I.
00:32:41What?
00:32:41Do you see this?
00:32:43You're not even paying attention to me.
00:32:44Father-daughter talk.
00:32:45Dad, what?
00:32:46Father-daughter talk.
00:32:47When people talk to each other,
00:32:49they also listen to what the other has to say.
00:32:51That's what a talk is.
00:32:53Father-daughter talk.
00:32:54Come on.
00:32:54Que?
00:32:55I'm gonna...
00:32:55Dad, dad, dad.
00:32:56Let's go.
00:32:56Dad, favorite place.
00:32:57Dad, de los tacones.
00:32:58Come on, take them out.
00:33:00Are you not gonna get my door?
00:33:01How do you change?
00:33:02Bueno, como que change me?
00:33:04In New York City, there's gentlemen.
00:33:05Wow.
00:33:06Gracias.
00:33:06All right, after you.
00:33:07It was fun.
00:33:19Okay.
00:33:19You know what, dad?
00:33:20I want to go home.
00:33:22No.
00:33:23We just got here.
00:33:24It was your favorite place.
00:33:26What?
00:33:27No, it's not.
00:33:28And it never was.
00:33:30Como que never was.
00:33:31What is this?
00:33:33Dad, I'm hungry.
00:33:34I want actual food.
00:33:44Ah, leave.
00:33:46Come here and dance with your tea.
00:33:53There you go.
00:33:55Oh, no, no, no.
00:33:56Not like that.
00:33:57No.
00:33:58Feel the music.
00:33:59Yeah.
00:33:59Mm-hmm.
00:34:01El cachoneo, cachoneo.
00:34:03Si.
00:34:03Ta-da.
00:34:05Ta-da.
00:34:05Ay, si.
00:34:05No es lambada, man.
00:34:06Come here.
00:34:07Come here.
00:34:08No listen to her, eh?
00:34:10No.
00:34:10She's okay.
00:34:11She's the non-recovered party girl of the house.
00:34:15Ay, so good.
00:34:17Have you tried the tamales?
00:34:19Yes.
00:34:20Yes, I have.
00:34:20They're great.
00:34:21Uh-huh.
00:34:22Although I don't find many places that make them back east.
00:34:24Yeah.
00:34:25You're in for a treat this year.
00:34:26Porque la gran matita here,
00:34:27she's making her world-famous one-of-a-kind chicken tamales.
00:34:31Uh-huh.
00:34:32Oh, yeah.
00:34:32Yeah.
00:34:33You'll know what's good.
00:34:34That sounds great.
00:34:35Yeah.
00:34:37Dad, how come you never liked any of my boyfriends?
00:34:40You didn't even like Gabriel,
00:34:42and he was actually a good guy,
00:34:43and he came from a good family.
00:34:44Wait, but who's that, Elmo?
00:34:46Elmo?
00:34:46Elmo.
00:34:47Elmojado.
00:34:50Dad.
00:34:50He was not a wet bath.
00:34:54And you called immigration on him.
00:34:56Hey, don't exaggerate.
00:34:57I mean, all I did was yell a migra,
00:34:58and that kid took off.
00:35:00Hey, he ran across country so fast,
00:35:02and they had a border Olympics here where I went gold.
00:35:04Papa, that's not funny.
00:35:07Mira, Joaquin, Frankie, Antonio.
00:35:11It's like I could never have a boyfriend
00:35:12because you would always just make it so hard for me.
00:35:14Ah!
00:35:15Hey, well, thank you.
00:35:21Back to the cage.
00:35:24Um, you were too young to have boyfriends.
00:35:26And now what?
00:35:27What's your excuse now?
00:35:29Well, at least they're Mexicans.
00:35:30What about Javier?
00:35:31I know he's a little bit of a playboy,
00:35:33a little Don Juan thing going,
00:35:34but you know what?
00:35:35He's always been really nice to you.
00:35:36I am a strong, independent woman
00:35:39who is capable of making her own choices.
00:35:42You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about,
00:35:44because you're getting to the age that
00:35:46where
00:35:48have you and Leif...
00:35:51I can't even believe I'm going to say this.
00:35:54Has he taken your chanclas off?
00:35:56Papa!
00:35:58Pero estas loco?
00:36:05I am 23 years old.
00:36:07I did not come here for you to tell me
00:36:09what it's like to be sin chanclas.
00:36:11Eso si no.
00:36:12Eso si no.
00:36:13Mira.
00:36:13No, no, no.
00:36:14Mira.
00:36:16Pollo, estĂșpido.
00:36:17Hey, I've known your whole life.
00:36:20He's known you two months.
00:36:21Es un pato sin patas.
00:36:23Hey, beautiful.
00:36:38Javier?
00:36:39Javier?
00:36:40De la torre?
00:36:42Would you look who it is?
00:36:50Mm-mm.
00:36:51How are you?
00:36:54Your mom told me you were coming home for Christmas.
00:36:57I just did not think your dad would bring you back to this place on your first date back.
00:37:01Yeah, you and me both.
00:37:02And he thinks I'm the one who still hasn't grown up.
00:37:05Can you believe that?
00:37:06I mean, you look pretty grown to me.
00:37:08So what do you think of my girl?
00:37:11Wow.
00:37:12She is really pretty.
00:37:16Not as pretty as you.
00:37:18Right.
00:37:19So, where can I take you?
00:37:23As far away from here as possible.
00:37:25Your wish is my command.
00:37:29After you.
00:37:31Gracias.
00:37:31Mm-mm.
00:37:45Let's get some tacos asada, yeah?
00:37:47Si.
00:37:55Can I do anything to help out?
00:37:57I feel like I'm just sort of, uh, standing around.
00:38:00You are just standing around.
00:38:02Get to work?
00:38:04Si, senorita.
00:38:05Ah.
00:38:06Senorita.
00:38:07Oh, that's right.
00:38:08Ah, girls.
00:38:09O is for boy.
00:38:10Si.
00:38:11Senorita.
00:38:12Senorita.
00:38:13To school pay.
00:38:14You are disculpado.
00:38:16Now, everybody in this family had supper to cooking, eh?
00:38:20I used to be a chef in Mexico.
00:38:22Mm-mm.
00:38:23Very good one.
00:38:24Well, now I really can't wait to try world-famous chicken tamales.
00:38:28You have to start with fresh, mijo.
00:38:30That's the secret.
00:38:32Now, leave, go into the kitchen, and get the chicken out of the stove, please.
00:38:40Si, senorita.
00:38:40Que lieta.
00:38:42Conmigo, conmigo, conmigo, conmiguito.
00:38:44Conmigo, conmiguito, conmigo.
00:38:50Ah!
00:38:51Pinche pollo!
00:38:52Uh!
00:38:53Uh!
00:38:53Tita, por lo menos desplĂșmalo.
00:39:04Se chequen.
00:39:05He's stupid.
00:39:21Hi, Bailey.
00:39:22Hi.
00:39:23Hey.
00:39:24You must be Leif.
00:39:25Hey.
00:39:26You're looking at him, bro.
00:39:31This is Javier.
00:39:32I just told him everything about you.
00:39:34I'm sure you did.
00:39:36He's just an old friend.
00:39:38By old friend, you mean friend or friend friend?
00:39:41Have you ever seen Claudia dance salsa?
00:39:44No.
00:39:45Stop it.
00:39:46My friend, you are missing out.
00:39:48Stop it.
00:39:49There goes that F word again.
00:39:51Don't worry, budito.
00:39:53She'll show you.
00:39:54I'll see you around.
00:39:56It was nice to meet you, twig.
00:39:58Leif, I told you.
00:40:00Adios, hermosa.
00:40:01Take care.
00:40:02Always, my love.
00:40:03Take care.
00:40:04Bye.
00:40:05Bye.
00:40:06Bye.
00:40:07Is there something I should know about?
00:40:08Because if I don't know, I don't know.
00:40:09But if I know, damn.
00:40:10Yeah.
00:40:11Actually, there is.
00:40:13I knew it.
00:40:14Damn, he's handsome.
00:40:16And he can dance, too.
00:40:17What?
00:40:18No, no.
00:40:19He's just an old friend.
00:40:20How long have you known?
00:40:21He's just an old friend, I told you.
00:40:22My dad, he took me to that cheese place.
00:40:23Where's your dad?
00:40:24Probably still playing at Cheesy Chuck.
00:40:27It's because of me, isn't it?
00:40:29I mean, yeah, of course it is.
00:40:31You know, at first I didn't think this was such a huge mistake,
00:40:33but now I'm really starting to think it is.
00:40:35You know, I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish or know how to salsa.
00:40:39You know, your dad would probably be more happy
00:40:41if you were with that Javier guy instead of me.
00:40:44You men are impossible.
00:40:47Between trying to please you and please my father,
00:40:50I just feel like I can't win.
00:40:51So why do I even try?
00:40:52I just...
00:40:53Where are you going?
00:40:54I don't know.
00:40:55I don't know.
00:40:56Wait, cariño.
00:41:02That was so sweet.
00:41:04What?
00:41:05Cariño.
00:41:06I've never heard you say that before.
00:41:08I mean, maybe I could say something right, you know?
00:41:11Yeah, for a while.
00:41:16They're watching.
00:41:18Why don't you teach me how to salsa?
00:41:22Oh, you want me to teach you how to salsa?
00:41:24You're going to start with your feet, like this, eh?
00:41:26Okay, okay.
00:41:27You know what?
00:41:28Just forget about your feet.
00:41:29Let's work on the hips.
00:41:30Yes?
00:41:31Okay, a little bit.
00:41:32Just, okay, forget about your feet.
00:41:33Let's just work on the hips, okay?
00:41:34Uh-huh.
00:41:35Yeah.
00:41:36A poquito, the hips.
00:41:37I like that.
00:41:38Okay, hold my hand, baby.
00:41:39No, my love.
00:41:40Move your hips up.
00:41:41Okay, just forget about the hips.
00:41:43How about you just twirl me, and then you dip me?
00:41:46Okay?
00:41:47Okay.
00:41:48Okay, do what?
00:41:49Wait, what are you doing?
00:41:50Baby.
00:41:51Um, I'm okay.
00:41:52Seriously?
00:41:53What are you guys doing?
00:41:54Uh, um, oh, God, how long?
00:41:56I didn't mean to do that.
00:41:57How long have you been standing there?
00:41:58When did you get home?
00:41:59Long enough to see that Mr. Leif doesn't know what he's doing.
00:42:02Just, we were just having fun, Dad.
00:42:04We were just dancing.
00:42:05Dancing?
00:42:06When I come from, you see a guy move like that, you call him a penguino.
00:42:08Let me show you how it's done.
00:42:09Here we go.
00:42:10Take a little spin here.
00:42:12Mm-hmm.
00:42:13Comes back.
00:42:14When you get more advanced, you can spin her again.
00:42:16She comes here.
00:42:17Ay, and she comes back.
00:42:18I see.
00:42:19That's like that.
00:42:20Beautiful.
00:42:21All right.
00:42:22That's your turn.
00:42:23All right.
00:42:24Okay.
00:42:25No, no, not with her.
00:42:26With me.
00:42:27What?
00:42:28Come on.
00:42:31Hey, you have to feel it, aren't you, Guino?
00:42:33Right here, you have to feel it.
00:42:34You feel it?
00:42:35No.
00:42:36Then you do a nice little charm and come back.
00:42:38Oh, my love.
00:42:39Okay.
00:42:40She likes to be a little bit of salsa.
00:42:41I just...
00:42:42Nicely like that.
00:42:43Oh, my God.
00:42:44Then I go to the bridge and tie, tie, tie, tie up here.
00:42:45Oh.
00:42:46Oh.
00:42:47Hi.
00:42:48Oh, no, no, no.
00:42:49Hey.
00:42:50What happened?
00:42:51She said, clucky cheese with Claudia to have a father-daughter talk.
00:42:53Oh, she hates that place.
00:42:54Why does everybody say that?
00:42:55What do you think?
00:42:56Now I know where the brownucks come from.
00:43:00That's what happened.
00:43:01We got in a little argument.
00:43:02Where is she now?
00:43:03Where is she now?
00:43:04Now?
00:43:05She's outside dancing.
00:43:06Sounds like a good one.
00:43:07Oh.
00:43:08Oh, she hates that place.
00:43:09Why does everybody say that?
00:43:10How was it?
00:43:11How was it?
00:43:12How was it?
00:43:13How was it?
00:43:14How was it?
00:43:15How was it?
00:43:16What do you think?
00:43:17Now I know where the brownucks come from.
00:43:20How is it?
00:43:21So what happened?
00:43:23We got in a little argument.
00:43:27Where is she now?
00:43:30Now?
00:43:31She's outside dancing Salsa con el gringo.
00:43:34Oh, that's good.
00:43:36That's great.
00:43:37Yeah.
00:43:39It's great.
00:43:42Yeah.
00:43:52No, I was down with perfect Christmas.
00:43:55No.
00:44:09Okay, baby, so my Aunt Carmen is in the guest bedroom, but make sure that you don't go in there because otherwise you'll be dancing to cumbias on night, okay?
00:44:18But I'm sure Tootsie here wouldn't mind you being her little bed buddy, right, Tootsie?
00:44:28Well, at least tomorrow's Christmas Eve, you know?
00:44:31I mean, what could possibly go wrong then?
00:44:35Hmm. Just a few Mexican tics?
00:44:38Yeah.
00:44:43I'll see you in the morning.
00:44:46If not before then.
00:44:48Oh.
00:45:08Let's go, baby. Go on.
00:45:09Okay.
00:45:10Yeah, I'm trying.
00:45:11That's my baby baby.
00:45:13What's this nonsense?
00:45:14Oh, it's actually a prototype from Liv's new game that he built.
00:45:19Oh, he actually even sold it to a big company.
00:45:20So you play games for a living?
00:45:21I designed them.
00:45:22Ah, yes!
00:45:23Score!
00:45:24What do you go?
00:45:25Woohoo!
00:45:26Yes!
00:45:27Score!
00:45:28Woohoo!
00:45:29So pushing buttons so some spacey the otas can kill each other.
00:45:31Is your idea of a game?
00:45:33Let me tell you something.
00:45:34Game isn't played in someone's living room.
00:45:35No, no, no, no.
00:45:36Oh, no, no.
00:45:37What's this nonsense?
00:45:38Oh!
00:45:39It's actually a prototype from Liv's new game that he built.
00:45:42Ooh!
00:45:43He actually even sold it to a big company.
00:45:45So you play games for a living?
00:45:47I design them.
00:45:48Yes! Score, guarito! Woo-hoo!
00:45:51So pushing buttons so some space idiotas can kill each other
00:45:54is your idea of a game?
00:45:56Claro, papa.
00:45:57Let me tell you something.
00:45:59A game isn't played in someone's living room.
00:46:02A real game is played on a field
00:46:05120 yards long and 80 yards deep,
00:46:08and it's called football.
00:46:10Do you mean soccer?
00:46:11That's what you gringos call it, okay?
00:46:13Football was invented by my Aztec ancestors 700 years ago.
00:46:17You know what they did to you if you lost?
00:46:19I sent you to the locker room.
00:46:21No, man. They sacrificed you to the gods.
00:46:23Ripped open your chest, and they pulled out your live still-beating heart.
00:46:27Oh, my God.
00:46:28On that field, you became a man, an hombre un patrĂłn.
00:46:31That's like the tequila.
00:46:33Not like the tequila.
00:46:34PatrĂłn is a boss.
00:46:36Claudia said that you're a captain, man.
00:46:38Are you a captain?
00:46:40I was the captain of my high school debate team.
00:46:42Yeah.
00:46:43Debate?
00:46:44Wow, sounds muy macho.
00:46:46All right, Captain.
00:46:47It's time for you to play the game of the gods.
00:46:49There you go.
00:46:51Meet you on the field in half an hour.
00:46:53She knows where it is.
00:46:55In the park?
00:46:57In the park?
00:46:58I know.
00:47:14Ay, ay, ay.
00:47:15Afternoon, marito.
00:47:16Hey.
00:47:17You get a good night's rest?
00:47:18I hear you're quite the local celebrity.
00:47:19No, man.
00:47:20Claudia's the one who's the rock star.
00:47:21So you and Claudia, you know each other quite well.
00:47:22Like brother and sister, amigo.
00:47:23You know, she does a really good in and out.
00:47:24You should have a show you sometime.
00:47:25Excuse me?
00:47:26It's a salsa move where you bring the lady in and then you lead her right back out.
00:47:31Here, let me show you.
00:47:33Let me show you a little.
00:47:46Come on.
00:47:47Have a good game, marito.
00:47:52Exciting.
00:47:53This is a very dangerous game, okay?
00:47:56So you're gonna have to follow my lead.
00:48:01Come on, man.
00:48:03What is it?
00:48:08Come on.
00:48:09Where'd you go, potty?
00:48:11Cara or seyo?
00:48:13Okay.
00:48:14Heads or tails?
00:48:15Tails.
00:48:17I knew you were gonna pick tails.
00:48:20Ah!
00:48:21Come on!
00:48:22Let's go, Esnich!
00:48:23Get ready to have a long day there, One Direction.
00:48:26Okay, your starting position is right here, okay?
00:48:28Right here?
00:48:29Yeah, you got it, baby.
00:48:30Come on.
00:48:31Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:48:32Get the left side of the field.
00:48:33Right there.
00:48:34You got nothing, homie.
00:48:35Let's go.
00:48:36Hey, don't use your hands!
00:48:38You can't use your hands!
00:48:40Hey, Google it!
00:48:41Baby, you can't use your hands.
00:48:43Okay, don't do it.
00:48:44That was illegal.
00:48:45Ha!
00:48:46That wasn't the only thing illegal here.
00:48:48Hey, give me some Vicks!
00:48:49No problem.
00:48:50I have my Vicks.
00:48:51Hey, I was protecting myself.
00:48:53From what?
00:48:54From the ball.
00:48:55From the soccer ball?
00:48:56Get on my helmet!
00:48:57Come on, stay alert, stay alert!
00:48:59Come on, you got it.
00:49:00Come on!
00:49:01Come on, come on.
00:49:02Come on, come on.
00:49:03Come on, come on!
00:49:04Come on, come on!
00:49:05Watch out, chaparritos!
00:49:06Watch out.
00:49:07Boom!
00:49:08Why are you running?
00:49:09Boom!
00:49:12Why are you moving?
00:49:13Come on!
00:49:14Okay, okay, okay.
00:49:16mettre it in the middle.
00:49:17Oh, we're gonna...
00:49:18Ayo!
00:49:19Hey, wait!
00:49:20Eso!
00:49:21Come on, Ches.
00:49:22Where's the goalie?
00:49:29Are we looking at, Eze?
00:49:37Almighty, we are coming to work, Eze.
00:49:39I guess they...
00:49:51I think you killed them, fool!
00:50:09Out!
00:50:11Out!
00:50:13Out!
00:50:14Out!
00:50:39Out!
00:50:45It's snowing, he's still late.
00:50:49What are these fools doing out there?
00:51:09Out!
00:51:13Why isn't Grandpa here with us?
00:51:17Come sit down, sweetie.
00:51:19Why are you asking that question?
00:51:21Well, Grandma said the reason why he isn't here
00:51:25is because he went to the North Pole.
00:51:28Actually, son, he went south, to Mexico.
00:51:32All he ever wanted was a Mexican Christmas.
00:51:35There's Christmas in Mexico?
00:51:37Mm-hmm.
00:51:38Of course, sweetie.
00:51:40Christmas is everywhere.
00:51:42If there's Christmas everywhere,
00:51:44then why isn't he here?
00:51:46And also, why is he in Mexico?
00:51:48Well, because he complained so much about living here,
00:51:53and he went back to Mexico.
00:51:55Mm-hmm.
00:51:57And he lived happily ever after.
00:51:59He has a lot of Mexican friends.
00:52:02Is he happy?
00:52:05He loves it.
00:52:07He even has a burro.
00:52:10I'm confused, Mom.
00:52:12Scoot in a little bit, yeah, sweetie?
00:52:14Let's eat.
00:52:19Come in!
00:52:20I'm sorry if I woke you up, Mr. Sanchez.
00:52:25Is that all you're sorry about?
00:52:27Oh.
00:52:29Are you okay?
00:52:31My head hurts. No thanks to you.
00:52:35I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
00:52:39Leif, what are you doing here?
00:52:43It's because of Claudia.
00:52:46Okay.
00:52:48I know what it's like to be young,
00:52:52and I know what you want from her,
00:52:55so please, don't make me have to be some pendejo, okay?
00:52:58Is that how you felt about your wife when you first met her?
00:52:59Okay.
00:53:01For once, can you just please be clear about what you're trying to say?
00:53:05Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:08I would like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.
00:53:10Please.
00:53:12You know, I don't want to say the cliches like our love story began at a single glance and, you know, it was at that moment that I knew that I had encountered my soulmate.
00:53:18But that's exactly what I'm saying.
00:53:20Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:22Are you okay?
00:53:24Mr. Sanchez, are you okay?
00:53:48Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:49Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:50Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:51Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:52Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:53Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:54Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:55Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:56Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:57Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:58Mr. Sanchez.
00:53:59Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:00Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:01Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:02Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:03Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:04Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:05Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:06Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:07Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:08Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:09Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:10Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:11Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:12Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:13Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:14Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:15Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:16Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:17Mr. Sanchez.
00:54:18I was, um, talking to your dad.
00:54:21Oh, is he okay? Did he wake up?
00:54:23Yeah, yeah, um, well, sort of.
00:54:27Sort of?
00:54:29He's a little unresponsive.
00:54:31Unresponsive? What do you mean by unresponsive?
00:54:35I asked your father if I could have his permission.
00:54:38Um, hmm.
00:54:40Dad?
00:54:41Hmm.
00:54:42Dad?
00:54:42Hmm?
00:54:43Dad!
00:54:44Is this what you mean by unresponsive?
00:54:46Dad!
00:54:48Oh, I'm ready.
00:54:54How are the tamales, Tisha?
00:54:57Is that question rhetorical?
00:54:59No, no, ya sé que estån rebuenas.
00:55:01Pasa mejor.
00:55:02ÂżYa estĂĄ?
00:55:02Pasa mejor, Âżno?
00:55:04Hey, do you want an abrazo de tamal?
00:55:12¿Un qué?
00:55:12Un abrazo de tamal.
00:55:14Un abracito con carnita adentro.
00:55:17Ay!
00:55:17Niñas.
00:55:19Mira, mira.
00:55:20Ese pĂĄjaro se trae algo.
00:55:27En las manos.
00:55:29¿Qué påjaro?
00:55:30we all gathered here for...
00:55:35We all gathered here for what we thought was going to be a traditional Mexican, Latino,
00:56:05Chicano Christmas, but because of this gringo right here, I've lost my self-respect, my dignity,
00:56:17and I've been humiliated in front of my family. But since it's Christmas, a time to be joyful
00:56:24and merry, I've come out here with a pasted-on smile. It's a season to be happy and joyful.
00:56:30Just to tell you, cabrones, Merry Christmas. Feliz Navidad.
00:56:35Not on my tradition. Not on my Christmas!
00:56:40Your Christmas? What do you mean, your Christmas?
00:56:47Dad, Christmas is supposed to be for everyone, and you have done every possible thing to destroy
00:56:51it.
00:56:53Pardonme, Senor Sanchez.
00:56:58What did you say?
00:57:02You know what I just said. You hear it, but you don't listen.
00:57:10That's exactly why Claudia is more than kind of upset with you, in case you haven't heard.
00:57:14In case you have a right to speak to me like that in my own house.
00:57:19Speak to you in what way?
00:57:21It won't matter which way I speak to you, because you hate this Gringa.
00:57:28Yet I've done everything to not only be good to your daughter, but to be good to your entire
00:57:34family.
00:57:36You know, and not even because I had to, but because I wanted to.
00:57:44You know, I danced the salsa for you guys.
00:57:47Yeah.
00:57:48I played soccer.
00:57:49Oh, sorry.
00:57:50I'm saying that wrong.
00:57:51Football.
00:57:52I almost got killed by a chicken, man.
00:57:56And I trimmed your hedges for you.
00:57:58And I showed you respect by asking for Claudia's hand in marriage.
00:58:01You know, that's out of respect.
00:58:04You show absolutely none to your own daughter.
00:58:07This isn't or shouldn't even be about me.
00:58:09It should be about her.
00:58:11If you truly loved her, you wouldn't treat her this way.
00:58:17Hey.
00:58:18Hey.
00:58:21Excuse me.
00:58:22Hey.
00:58:23He, um, he asked you for Claudia's hand in marriage, and you didn't tell me?
00:58:28You didn't tell?
00:58:29I mean, maybe he got a concussion, no?
00:58:31Le dio un concussion de la ball?
00:58:32Or what?
00:58:37Ay, mi amor.
00:58:38Is it normal to, uh, to not be able to breathe properly right now?
00:58:42Ay, Dios mio.
00:58:43Ay, Dios mio.
00:58:44Me estĂĄs desguanzando.
00:58:45No, ya.
00:58:46EstĂĄ un proclampsia.
00:58:47A ver.
00:58:48Okay, okay.
00:58:49This is the season to be married, not to get married.
00:58:52Happy holidays.
00:58:53Dios mio.
00:58:54Hey, hey.
00:58:55Don't leave.
00:58:56Don't leave her to help with these goddamn presents.
00:58:58Ay, mira nada mĂĄs.
00:58:59No, pues ya.
00:59:01You got the party you wanted, though?
00:59:04Qué padre.
00:59:05Qué animado.
00:59:06I hope you're proud of yourself, eh?
00:59:09Ahora sĂ metiste la pasta, pero mira.
00:59:11Completita, Benicio.
00:59:12Completita.
00:59:13Completita, Benicio.
00:59:14Completita.
00:59:23Damn, vatos.
00:59:24There goes the neighborhood.
00:59:26You're the wrong guy to be saying that, Ese.
00:59:28No, really, Ese.
00:59:29It goes the neighborhood.
00:59:31Why'd it look all sad?
00:59:32Because the party was whack, fool.
00:59:33We weren't invited.
00:59:34I would have gone.
00:59:35Shh.
00:59:36That's right, Ese.
00:59:37Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:59:38Where are you going, guys?
00:59:39Don't go, don't go.
00:59:40The party's gonna...
00:59:41I don't know.
00:59:42The party's gonna be great now.
00:59:43I don't know.
00:59:44The party's gonna be great now.
00:59:45I don't know.
00:59:46But look what happened.
00:59:48I ate the biggest pot of beans
00:59:50and shit it on your train.
00:59:52You're the only train.
01:00:13Babe, your father doesn't like me.
01:00:17Because I'm, you know, I ruined Christmas for everybody.
01:00:21You didn't. No, you didn't.
01:00:23Yes, I did.
01:00:23Babe, my family got the best present this year.
01:00:27And that's you as my husband.
01:00:29When I saw how close you were to your family,
01:00:30you know, I knew I could never propose
01:00:31without your father's permission.
01:00:33Look, my dad, he was just surprised by you.
01:00:36That's all. Okay?
01:00:37You know that's not all.
01:00:38I mean, you yourself said your father liked surprises.
01:00:41I don't even know what he likes anymore.
01:00:42Well, we know he doesn't like gringos.
01:00:46Babe, my father doesn't care
01:00:47if you're white or red or green.
01:00:50I'm sure he would mind if I was green.
01:00:59My father finds a reason to not like someone,
01:01:01and then he just sticks to it.
01:01:03Even if that's not really the reason.
01:01:06Just admit it.
01:01:07This whole thing was a huge mistake.
01:01:11What do you mean, what thing?
01:01:13Like...
01:01:14Like us?
01:01:16Your father, he...
01:01:17He had different plans for Christmas.
01:01:19You know, probably had different plans for your life.
01:01:22You know, I know how close you are to your family,
01:01:23and that's why I wanted to spend Christmas with you.
01:01:25No, no, leave, leave.
01:01:26Please.
01:01:27Don't go.
01:01:30Leave, leave.
01:01:32I'm sorry.
01:01:33I don't love the pain
01:01:38I'm sorry.
01:01:39I don't know how close my eyes to me.
01:01:41I don't know how close my eyes to me.
01:01:56I don't know how close my eyes to me.
01:01:58Hey, Perrito, stick around.
01:02:06You guys can make this work.
01:02:08True love prevails, eh?
01:02:09It's hard to face these things.
01:02:15You think I have a chance with her now?
01:02:17Hey, you know what?
01:02:19This for you, homie.
01:02:19I could talk with you.
01:02:23You're the best thing.
01:02:24I'm gonna miss you in the hood, gĂŒero.
01:02:26I'm gonna miss you in the hood, gĂŒero.
01:02:30Stay out, gĂŒero.
01:02:32Man.
01:02:36You should be like that food, dog.
01:02:50You know, any dad would love to have a son-in-law like Leif.
01:02:57Aunque sea verde como un marciano.
01:02:59Crushed all our dreams
01:03:03I could feel my heart breaking
01:03:08Breaking
01:03:14Crushed all our dreams
01:03:17Well, Merry freaking Christmas to us, huh?
01:03:23Feel my heart breaking
01:03:32You're the best thing that happened to me
01:03:35I never wanted it to go this way
01:03:42Can't change who we are
01:03:45I know it's difficult
01:03:46We need a miracle to break
01:03:49Have a good flight.
01:03:55Can't change who we are
01:03:58Crushed all our dreams
01:04:02I feel my heart breaking
01:04:05I feel my heart breaking
01:04:09Hey, mija.
01:04:11Hey, your presents are out there waiting for you.
01:04:15I mean, we could
01:04:17We could open them all together
01:04:18Like we used to do when you were a little girl
01:04:20I'm not a little girl anymore, dad
01:04:23Whether you want to accept it or not
01:04:26Okay
01:04:28That little girl in those pictures is my daughter
01:04:29No
01:04:30No, no, dad
01:04:31I'm your daughter, okay?
01:04:32AquĂ mismo, eh?
01:04:33Life-sized
01:04:35Not everything is about you
01:04:38You know, like
01:04:41Why can't it be a boy
01:04:43From the neighborhood
01:04:44Like Javier
01:04:45I mean, he's handsome
01:04:46He's smart
01:04:47He's got a good job
01:04:48He loves his mom
01:04:49He goes to church every...
01:04:50And is gay
01:04:53Is gay? Como que es gay?
01:04:54Yeah, dad
01:04:55That's the thing
01:04:57Whether you know it or not, eh?
01:05:00I should have known
01:05:01Because he would dance without music
01:05:02AhĂ
01:05:03I...
01:05:04I...
01:05:05Should have seen it
01:05:06Aparte que even if he wasn't
01:05:08That's not who I fell in love with
01:05:11And you should be able to understand that
01:05:12Because I make my own decisions
01:05:16And now you won't even get the chance to
01:05:18Get to know him
01:05:19You broke his heart
01:05:24And mine
01:05:25No, don't say that
01:05:26Don't say that
01:05:30He had nothing growing up, eh?
01:05:32His parents were poor
01:05:35He had to wash dishes
01:05:38Mow lawns
01:05:39Park cars
01:05:43He worked hard for everything that he had
01:05:46Just like you did
01:05:49What's that?
01:05:56Y sabes que?
01:06:00He reminded me a lot
01:06:01Of you
01:06:11No, no
01:06:13No, no, no, no, no, no
01:06:20That kid wasn't that bad
01:06:23After all
01:06:24Wasn't he?
01:06:30On Christmas morning
01:06:34I wanted a bike
01:06:35Like all the other little kids
01:06:38And when I came down
01:06:40To open my presents
01:06:41Bike wasn't there
01:06:42My dad
01:06:44Got me a pair of handlebars
01:06:45And then he
01:06:47Told me that one day
01:06:48You know, he'd get me the rest of the bike
01:06:50That I could put the handlebars on
01:06:55And he promised me training wheels
01:06:59And he never got me the training wheels
01:07:01My poor dad, he worked so hard
01:07:03Never got anywhere
01:07:04Never got anywhere
01:07:07And one of the last things that he told me was that
01:07:10Christmas was for family
01:07:12And that's all I wanted her to do
01:07:13Was have a nice Christmas
01:07:15Like the ones we used to have in Mexico
01:07:17With a family
01:07:21Training wheels
01:07:22How did he know?
01:07:26How did he know?
01:07:28How did he know?
01:07:30Well, because I
01:07:32One of these days that you went to work
01:07:35I took them shopping
01:07:38Santa style
01:07:44But
01:07:46How did he find the exact ones?
01:07:49We went to Olvera Street
01:07:52Mhm
01:07:54And you should have seen him, eh?
01:07:55Yeah
01:07:57That kid?
01:07:59He wouldn't stop
01:08:00Until he found them
01:08:02Yeah
01:08:04Just because he wanted to make you smile
01:08:07Baby
01:08:10You know what you gotta do on them
01:08:13Right?
01:08:15Forgot your training wheels
01:08:18Now go out there and be a father to her
01:08:19Now go out there and be a father to her
01:08:30I wanted to tell you
01:08:32That
01:08:35That I was wrong
01:08:37In the business that I'm in
01:08:39You see a lot of beautiful flowers
01:08:41Like some are very
01:08:43Rare
01:08:44Delicate roses
01:08:45Someone I planted with my hands
01:08:47Ha
01:08:49And it's my job to protect
01:08:51The roses from the weeds
01:08:53I thought that
01:08:55It was my job to protect
01:08:57The rose from being hurt
01:08:59I thought that Leif
01:09:01Was another
01:09:03Weed that was trying to
01:09:05Keep my rose from blooming
01:09:07But I realize now that my rose
01:09:09Has bloomed into this incredible woman
01:09:11And that
01:09:13Leif is now your protector and not me
01:09:16And that you know also
01:09:18Papi wants to say
01:09:20Is that the
01:09:22That he, he was
01:09:25Digo sin querer y todo lo que quieras
01:09:27He was the weed
01:09:29He's been the weed
01:09:31Yeah
01:09:32And that you and Leif
01:09:34Are roses
01:09:36Yeah?
01:09:37Roses
01:09:39And that we as a family
01:09:41Porque somos una familia
01:09:42Y es lo que hacemos
01:09:43We have to protect, somos un garden
01:09:45And we have to protect the roses
01:09:47And, and that
01:09:49You know you make us so, so proud
01:09:51Every day, mijita
01:09:53Incluyendo Leif
01:09:55Because he's the coolest and the sweetest
01:09:56We got a plane to stop
01:10:04Bobo and Clau
01:10:06You cannot get him back dressed like that
01:10:09No, that's true
01:10:11Okay, okay, entonces
01:10:12Let's go, let's go
01:10:13Come on
01:10:17Hurry up
01:10:21Come on, come on, come on
01:10:23Oh, man
01:10:24Man, what the hell?
01:10:25What?
01:10:26No tengo las llaves
01:10:27No, no tenĂas las llaves
01:10:28A mĂ no me las diste
01:10:29TĂș siempre, ay, gordo
01:10:30Siempre haciendo a mĂ
01:10:31What a lot de vatos
01:10:32AhĂ estĂĄn los vatos
01:10:34Ah, que leche
01:10:35Man
01:10:37Atale
01:10:39Hey, pooper
01:10:40We need a right
01:10:41I got you
01:10:42Let's go, let's go
01:10:43To the airport
01:10:44I got you, poos
01:10:45I got you, OG
01:10:46I got you
01:10:47Let's go, ladies
01:10:48You guys will fit
01:10:50Hey, no tips
01:10:51I'll accept the kiss
01:10:52Let's go, come on
01:10:53Let's go, come on
01:10:54I'm out of sight
01:10:55Hit it
01:10:56Let's go
01:10:58I want one of these in my bathroom
01:11:01Big on barrel, big on barrel
01:11:02Big on barrel, big on barrel
01:11:03Big on barrel
01:11:04Wow, this is really cool
01:11:07No manches
01:11:09I popped my tire full
01:11:11My bad
01:11:12Sorry
01:11:13Now what?
01:11:14Sorry, guys
01:11:15Sorry, man
01:11:17Do I need a ride?
01:11:18I need a ride
01:11:23Take it back to the bottom of the ocean where it belongs
01:11:25Hey, we'll go steal the car
01:11:26We'll meet you there, homie
01:11:27Little homie learned that in prison
01:11:31I'm gonna leave you at a hotel
01:11:32Easy
01:11:33I'm gonna leave
01:11:34Hey, hey!
01:11:38Hey, hey!
01:11:41Hey, hey.
01:11:42Come on, come on!
01:11:49Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:11:52Hey, hey, hey.
01:11:55Okay, okay, okay, sorry.
01:11:58Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, sorry.
01:12:01Hey, mira, I think it's over there.
01:12:03Dale, vamos.
01:12:10I have to stop my son-in-law from getting,
01:12:11well, he's not my son-in-law yet,
01:12:12but getting on the plane.
01:12:13I mean, he's my fiancée.
01:12:14I mean, not really my fiancée.
01:12:15It's not like he proposed to me or anything.
01:12:16I mean, he did propose to me,
01:12:17but my papa nunca told me that he proposed to me.
01:12:1840 passes.
01:12:19You guys had your 40 passes?
01:12:20You can just pat me down
01:12:21so I can go in and tell him all about it.
01:12:23No, a ver, Carmela, Carmela, espera.
01:12:24Please, ma'am, don't tell me.
01:12:25My son-in-law, he cannot go on the plane.
01:12:29So can you help us with that?
01:12:33Did you say dangerous?
01:12:34No, no, no.
01:12:35You can make a picture of him
01:12:36and you can find him.
01:12:37No, no, no, no.
01:12:38You guys can't step aside.
01:12:39Please, no, no.
01:12:40Please, guys, step aside.
01:12:41No, no, no, no.
01:12:42We're not going to help us.
01:12:43Disculpa, señora, por favor.
01:12:44Un poco de respeto.
01:12:45Yo no mĂĄs estoy tratando de hacer mi trabajo.
01:12:47No, no, no, no, no.
01:12:48SĂ, sĂ.
01:12:49No, no, yo decĂa a los otros gringos.
01:12:50No, todo bien, claro.
01:12:51Uh, uh, ya vamos.
01:12:53Hola, qué guapo.
01:12:54Wait, wait, where are you going?
01:12:59No, no, no.
01:13:01Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
01:13:03Wait, ah!
01:13:04Whoa.
01:13:05Damn it.
01:13:06I'm just trying to keep my future son-in-law from leaving.
01:13:07Can you please tell your dad to stop doing that?
01:13:08It's the second time.
01:13:09All-city cornerback.
01:13:10He's telling I had the fighting fails.
01:13:11Ow.
01:13:12Does this mean I can have Claudia's hand in marriage?
01:13:13I think I'm getting arrested for nothing.
01:13:15Keep your answer, I can see her!
01:13:16Baby.
01:13:17Hi.
01:13:18Will you marry me?
01:13:19Yes.
01:13:20Yes, a million times, yes.
01:13:22Uh, well, I put it on my cell.
01:13:39Awful.
01:13:40I'm sorry.
01:13:42i'm sorry you've got nothing to be sorry about no man i should have been myself from the beginning
01:13:48you know i was such a poser i was pretending to speak spanish and you know i ruined christmas
01:13:54are you kidding me man you saved christmas my daughter loves you
01:13:57you've made my christmas the best ever welcome to the family merry christmas
01:14:03wait hold on hey you should see what we do for new year's
01:14:06good hey where y'all going i'm gonna go this way they got the miles at home so i'm gonna go eat
01:14:10all right we're gonna go with leaf i'm gonna go i think his name is leaf no it's leaf it doesn't matter
01:14:36is it leaf or leaf leaf he's a swell guy
01:14:52yeah yeah a lot of people will say leaf when it's when it's slave this family has taken
01:14:59a lot of a lot of correcting that makes a lot of sense they're they're um
01:15:13like best friends oh okay thank you for being such a good um friend i mean his skin is so perfect and
01:15:29that makes a lot of sense does benny know that we're here i just realized benny's house is pretty
01:15:36nice
01:15:47the only thing that matters in this world for a couple is performance you know and that kid
01:15:55looks like he can't perform he's about what five foot six five foot seven i don't really see much
01:16:03there but hey he must be a nice guy right
01:16:09you do do what you know you want to marry me that's benny's mom's dog you're never gonna get
01:16:37you know maybe i should talk to leif about like creating a video game with the vatos and maybe
01:16:42you know we can incorporate the car and and maybe they can make some money and finally not be across
01:16:46the street living in their car right she'd like to move it to that salsa
01:16:55i was thinking a video game based in east of light would be a make would sell and they where they
01:17:01drive around and maybe steal car each other's cars put in like good music she like to move it to that
01:17:10salsa oh yeah mamita come to papa take you home manana
01:17:18ruzzi doesn't see color doesn't see race doesn't see if they have fur or no fur
01:17:28but she is kind of black
01:17:39i'm gonna show up to the wind i'm a i'm a wedding crasher you can't do that wedding
01:17:43crasher you can't do that my boy that's against the rules yeah you gotta respect
01:17:46you gotta respect respect all right i respect you gotta get her before they get there does that make
01:17:53any sense it's like a chapel that's for you that's for us
01:18:15i guess i was wrong
01:18:16this was not the story about how the gringos stole my dad's christmas
01:18:22but how my gringuito saved our christmas
01:18:27feliz navidad a todos and merry christmas everyone
01:18:33listo get ready
01:18:35ponte ducha es una lucha en los estados unidos para el sueño americano se necesita conmigo
01:18:41un capar al movimiento aquĂ en el pienso elotero o taquero asĂ se hace el dinero
01:18:48encontrĂ© una mujer que entiende la vida dulce como sandĂa y me da energĂa
01:18:55mujer de mis sueños moviendo bailando probando y estå muy sabroso el mango
01:19:01a la raza
01:19:07she'd like to move it to that salsa
01:19:10oh yeah mamita come to papa take you home mania
01:19:14a la raza
01:19:17let's go to la faranda
01:19:20she'd like to move it to that salsa
01:19:23oh yeah mamita come to papa take you home mania
01:19:26a la raza
01:19:41a la raza
01:19:46she'd like to move it to that salsa
01:19:49oh yeah mamita come to papa take you home mania
01:19:53a la raza
01:19:56let's go to la faranda
01:19:59she'd like to move it to that salsa
01:20:02oh yeah mamita come to papa take you home mania
01:20:06a la raza
01:20:08les gusta la faranda
01:20:10she'd like to move it to that salsa
01:20:12oh yeah mamita come to papa take you home mania
01:20:16a la raza
01:20:18i
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