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00:00The following program contains adult humour, Russell Crowe, Conan O'Brien,
00:03Robert Irwin, with his shirt on, Claudia Carvin, a Spice Girl, a hungover host,
00:08a guest announcer with daddy issues, Will Anderson, Oliver Clark with a song
00:11about Epstein Island, confronting images of steaks cooked in a sandwich press,
00:15bestiality, and references to opium usage.
00:18Let's hope we don't meet anyone from Scotland. May I ask, where are you from? Scotland.
00:32What's your favourite dish on Christmas day? We have lasagna, like a ham.
00:36I keep with all the tremens. I usually bring the fried rice. You didn't say that just for me, did you?
00:40No. My best Christmas gift ever received was half a thousand bottles of drink.
00:45Do you have some New Year's resolutions? Lose weight and give up drink.
00:48I say this sincerely, you have no fucking chance.
00:51This New Year's Eve, you're going to have any resolutions, or you just add, you don't do them.
00:54Give up smoking. You're a smoker? Yeah.
00:57You love tobacco shops? I love them too. Are you a smoker? Big time.
01:00No. Big time. Are you just saying that? Well, yeah, but I'm more opium.
01:04You know, I like to chase the dragon, if you're not a man.
01:07Oh, the black dragon! No, I don't see colour.
01:10You know what my New Year's resolution was this year? No.
01:13It was to avoid awkward pauses.
01:19Alright, that's right, mate.
01:20Mate, it's December. What about New Year's Eve parties?
01:23We're thinking about going to the Sydney Myer Music Bowl.
01:25Oh, really? Who's on?
01:26Um, that guy who sings that one song.
01:30I'll remember your inspiration.
01:32It's funny, as soon as you leave, I will have no recollection of us meeting the other day.
01:36What's it like to be Sam Payne? Well, especially at Christmas.
01:39A fucking nightmare. Yes. A nightmare.
01:42Well, Sam, Merry Christmas and good luck with your opium pipe.
01:51Live across Australia, this is Sam Payne tonight.
01:54And now, here's your host, Mr. Sam Payne.
02:01How about that?
02:05Sorry, almost forgot your name.
02:06That's all right.
02:07Oh, sorry.
02:11Thank you, thank you, thank you.
02:12Here we go.
02:17Good evening.
02:18And firstly, may I say a big welcome back to my special guest announcer, Becky Lucas.
02:29Becky, it's great.
02:30Wonderful to see you again.
02:31Thank you. It's so good to be here for your final show ever.
02:33Becky, we're coming back next year.
02:40It's not what I heard.
02:43All right, well, we better make it a good one then.
02:45We begin tonight with the huge news of the Prime Minister's wedding on the weekend.
02:49That's right, the first Prime Minister to marry in office.
02:54They are there.
02:55It should have been me.
02:56I think it's too late, Becky, I'm so sorry.
03:01Sincere congratulations to Albo and First Lady Albo.
03:07Is that her name?
03:09No, congratulations, seriously.
03:10I give it six months tops.
03:13But the nuptials took everyone by surprise, including the news outlets, leading to detailed
03:19reporting like Tony Burke was there in a blue suit.
03:26That's big.
03:27Wait for this one, though.
03:29Wedding guests wore all sorts of colours.
03:33Wow, just give them the Walkley now.
03:36There were plenty of other guests photographed at the happy occasion.
03:39I scored an invite.
03:40There I am, right there.
03:46You're laughing way too hard at that, by the way.
03:49And here's Pauline Hanson arriving too at the big day of course.
03:52It was a wonderful day for those two.
03:54Staying with politics and Barnaby Joyce has resigned from the National Party.
03:59It's the biggest blow to the Nationals since Barnaby Joyce joined the Nationals.
04:04Barnaby said he leaves the party with a heavy heart and an even heavier liver.
04:10It's a big week for Barnaby.
04:15Pauline Hanson tried to get him to join One Nation by cooking him a steak the traditional way.
04:23On a sandwich press.
04:25And by the looks of things, Pauline likes her steaks like she likes immigrants coming into the country.
04:31Rare.
04:32To be fair, she's not allowed near a naked flame just in case she sets her burka on fire.
04:40So, in saying that though, by the size of the, going by the size of that salt, I don't think either of them are making to the next election anyway.
04:46That is a big tub of salt.
04:49Alright, heading overseas and a 65 year old Thai woman has been found alive at a crematorium after she was heard knocking from inside a coffin.
04:58That's great news.
05:00Incredibly, the woman woke up just prior to being cremated, but the family had already paid for the cremation and...
05:06Rules are rules.
05:11You know, Sam, I always thought I would die in Thailand.
05:15What? You thought you'd die in Thailand? Why, Becky?
05:18Because, well, my name's Becky.
05:20So I just, it's the sort of name where you either die in Thailand or the Gold Coast.
05:24Or in the Suzuki Swift on your way to the airport.
05:28It's one of those three.
05:30I couldn't agree more.
05:31Moving on.
05:33We're 16 episodes in.
05:34I've read your letters.
05:36You asked for it.
05:37Here it is.
05:38Yes.
05:39It's news from Namibia.
05:42Namibia.
05:44That's right.
05:46Finally, I've heard your calls and here it is.
05:50You want news from Namibia?
05:51Well, here's this week's edition.
05:53Adolf Hitler Unona is on track to win a fifth term in local elections.
05:59And that is the name on the ballot.
06:01The district administrator grew up thinking his name was totally normal,
06:04realising the significance of his namesake much later.
06:11I'm just glad they included a picture of Adolf Hitler I there,
06:15otherwise we wouldn't have known who they're talking about.
06:18The Namibian politician defended his father,
06:21saying he probably didn't understand what Adolf Hitler stood for.
06:25Which is fair enough.
06:26There's no information about that period of history.
06:29If only there was a designated history channel or something like that,
06:32that would have been handy.
06:34But anyway.
06:35Don't you think like dads, you know, they don't know everything.
06:39Just ask my brother Osama bin Lucas.
06:41Just reinforcing, you have a brother called Osama bin Lucas.
06:49Yeah.
06:51He's really cool.
06:53A couple of quick ones from over the weekend.
06:56The Wiggles are in hot water.
06:58The Wiggles are under fire this morning,
07:00accused of endorsing drug use in a now deleted video with singer Kelly Holiday.
07:04The clip promoted his new song about ecstasy as Blue Wiggle, Anthony Field,
07:10bashed in the background.
07:13And that explains the Wiggles' new song,
07:16Jeff hasn't slept for 48 hours.
07:17And finally, to Europe and a wild story of Italian pension fraud.
07:31Little old lady, dressed in a skirt, wearing lipstick and a pearl necklace,
07:36off to collect her pension in a small northern Italian town.
07:39The little old lady is in fact a man pretending to be his mother.
07:45That's Graziella dell'Oglio on the left.
07:48She died three years ago.
07:50That's right.
07:52Sad story.
07:54After being caught, the man said that he regretted his actions,
07:58especially the part where he had to make sweet love to his father.
08:04Mamma mia!
08:06Thank you, Becky.
08:07Great show coming up.
08:08Becky Lucas is sticking around.
08:10I chat with Claudia Carvin, a Spice Girl.
08:12Tom Cashman is up next.
08:13But first, tonight is the last show of the year.
08:16So to see out season two, we got a few messages from some friends of the show.
08:20Hey Sam, Conan O'Brien here.
08:23As you can probably tell, I'm shooting a travel show in India.
08:26I learned an old trick long ago.
08:29You could probably use this too.
08:31Once they tire of you in your country, you move the talk show to other countries.
08:34It seems fresh all over again.
08:37Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you on your second season big pickup.
08:41This is great news.
08:42I hear you're a very talented fellow.
08:44I'm happy for you.
08:46So congrats from Conan to you, Sam.
08:49Keep up the great work.
08:50And remember, when the Australians start to hate you, you travel.
08:55Work for me.
08:56Take care now.
08:58Conan O'Brien there, amazing.
09:00I think we have one more from Russell Crowe.
09:03So enjoy and we'll be back in a moment.
09:06Well, hello Sam Pang. How are you?
09:09I hear that the social media engagements after my appearance on your show went through the roof.
09:16My pleasure.
09:18I've always loved helping out the little battlers.
09:21And as far as battlers go, you are little.
09:23I just want to show you something.
09:25I want to show you something.
09:26So if you have a look over here, like here, and you think to yourself, you know, this is what you gather over a long career of four decades, five decades, whatever it is.
09:39And I just want to say to you, my friend, if you focus, and if you concentrate, and you give your all, and one day you too may well be able to afford a piece of furniture as nice as that.
10:00Welcome back.
10:03Welcome back.
10:04You're watching Penny Wong tonight.
10:06I'm awesome.
10:12That was good.
10:14Yeah, it was good.
10:15Harder than it looks, Becky.
10:18Now, before the break, we heard a message from friend of the show, Russell Crowe, which was very, very exciting.
10:22Well, he's got more to say, and he promised me he wasn't going to plug anything.
10:28December 20th, at the Enmore Theatre, my band, Indoor Garden Party, we've got a big concert going on, tickets are on sale.
10:34Our guests include Troy Cassadaly and Marsha Hines, brakes flying in from the USA to be on the gig with us.
10:40It's going to be huge.
10:41It's going to be a great night.
10:42December 20th, at the Enmore Theatre.
10:44It's going to be amazing.
10:46In fact, nearly as amazing as finding out that you got renewed for a third season.
10:50And given those social media numbers, now I'm kind of feeling a little bit responsible.
10:55So I will check in with you every now and then.
10:58See how you're going.
10:59There you go.
11:00The one and only Russell Crowe.
11:01And knowing Russell, that probably wasn't his first take.
11:04Hey, uh...
11:06Russell Crowe was trying out a bit of pick-up artistry on you there.
11:09Bit of a neg.
11:10You think that there's a bit of chemistry?
11:13Yeah.
11:14Electric?
11:15It was a big thrill.
11:16In all seriousness, it was a big thrill that you came on the show, Becky.
11:18Almost as exciting as to have you back, by the way, because since you came on Season 1 and then since you were here last,
11:26you've been supporting Golden Globes host Nikki Glaser on her Australian tour.
11:31There's Becky and Nikki.
11:32That's awesome.
11:36So, that's a big, big gig.
11:39Yeah.
11:40Seriously, tell me about that.
11:41How was it?
11:42Yeah, it was cool.
11:43Like, because I...
11:44She messaged me on Instagram and she'd seen some of my clips and stuff and then asked me to support her,
11:49which was nice.
11:50Like, it wasn't just...
11:51You know, sometimes you just get booked through whatever the powers that be, but she personally asked me to do it.
11:56So that was really nice.
11:58Like I did?
11:59Yeah, like you did.
12:01I love how you always bring it back to you.
12:03It's great.
12:05It's awesome.
12:06Um...
12:07That's why you got your own show.
12:09Yeah.
12:10Uh, but it was bad.
12:12It was, like, I just recently stopped breastfeeding my son.
12:15Sorry if this makes people uncomfortable.
12:16I know men get weird, but your hormones kind of change when that happens.
12:21And I had really bad B.O.
12:23Like, I had the worst B.O. for a few weeks and there was nothing I could do about it.
12:29And so a lot of that night, even though it was really great, all I can really remember is trying to keep my arms down by my sides.
12:40Do you think that you hit it well enough that Nikki Glaser doesn't think you stink?
12:46I did a, I did a halfway through the night I changed shirts.
12:49Oh yeah.
12:50And I think, um, everyone pretended to be cool with that.
12:53But yeah, I think I did well enough that she, she didn't, um, know that I stank.
12:58And if I did I just blamed one of the techies.
13:01Yeah.
13:02Smart move.
13:03Yeah.
13:04In all seriousness, how, was she, was she nice?
13:05She was awesome.
13:06Yeah?
13:07She was really, she was too nice.
13:08Um, you know, like, you want them to be a bit mean.
13:11Sometimes.
13:12Well, you're on the right show tonight.
13:14Yeah, she was, she was really, it was a very lovely experience.
13:18Um, but at the end of the day, I go back to my two year old who treats me like a slave, so.
13:23Well, you've got the night off tonight, so that's exciting.
13:26And I'm very, very happy you're here.
13:27Now, listen, a lot of people have been asking, what's the latest with Contagious George, Becky?
13:31You know, he's the breakout star of the show.
13:35He's got his own fragrance.
13:37He's got children's books.
13:39He's eloped with Priscilla Presley.
13:41And this week, he did his first ever podcast.
13:44Now, of course, we're all familiar with Will Anderson's very popular podcast Willosophy.
13:49Well, this week, he had a very special guest.
13:52Great chat today, because there's someone that I'm a huge fan of,
13:55like the mascot from Sampang tonight, Contagious George.
13:59It hasn't been the easiest chat that I've ever had on the podcast, but...
14:03Hey, can I ask you this one question?
14:05I know you reassured me at the start, but you're not contagious right now, are you?
14:09I mean, you have to...
14:11I just...
14:13Ooh!
14:15Ooh!
14:18Ooh!
14:22Mm-mm.
14:23Wow!
14:24Oh!
14:26Oh!
14:27Oh!
14:30Oh!
14:31Oh, oh!
14:33Oh!
14:38Oh, yeah.
14:39Thank you very much there Will Anderson, rest in peace.
14:51Now if you like graphs, I just read what's there, and who doesn't by the way, you're
14:59going to love our next guest.
15:00Here to crunch the numbers on season two, please welcome the star of Taskmaster, Tom
15:04Cashman!
15:05Thank you everybody, it's lovely to see you Tom, it's lovely to see you too, I didn't
15:13know that if you like graphs was going to be a laugh line, but nevertheless, it's very
15:19lovely to be here and congratulations to everyone on another great season, I'd like to present
15:22some data about the show, this segment is called the magic number, so when we're playing the
15:26magic number, if I could ask everyone to please say the magic number out loud when I say, reveal
15:31the magic number.
15:32So the first magic number is zero.
15:34Zero!
15:35That's the number of dead people John Edward talked to in episode three.
15:40John Edward not talking to dead people is like if you booked a magician for your party
15:47and the magician didn't make any women uncomfortable.
15:53The next magic number is zero.
15:55Zero!
15:56That's the number of times Becky Lucas put a new toilet roll on the holder when we lived
16:00together in 2016.
16:02Here are two dated photos proving what I'm saying is true.
16:07Absolutely disgraceful behaviour.
16:09This is easier.
16:10Don't interrupt my segment please, Becky.
16:11Sorry.
16:12The next magic number is zero.
16:17That's the amount of respect Becky has for other people in a shared living environment.
16:22Here are two more pieces of evidence of the kind of shit she was up to.
16:28The next magic number is zero.
16:29Zero!
16:30That's the number of apologies I've received about the aforementioned toilet roll situation.
16:34Here's one more photo taken on my birthday.
16:38Oh my god.
16:39No less.
16:41Why do you not think that you got your bond back you two?
16:44Wow, that's a whole other story.
16:46I took these photos and haven't revealed them until an appropriate time and I thought this
16:51was the appropriate time.
16:52A time where Becky is contractually obliged not to be able to respond.
16:57But I should move on from our gripe.
16:59This next magic number, number five.
17:01Five.
17:02Five.
17:03That's for Five Seconds of Summer, the band that guested on this program earlier in the
17:07season.
17:08It took me ten seconds of spring to notice Sam was hating that interview.
17:11But if I'm honest, I was watching that interview, I think they stumbled onto something accidentally
17:20about Sam's career that I've noticed.
17:21So if I could take you all back in time, Sam's career started in radio.
17:25He went on to appear on Eurovision, Front Bar, Have You Been Paying Attention, then The Logies
17:30and Sam Paying Tonight.
17:31I think we'd all agree Sam's success has increased over this period, but so did the percentage of
17:37Sam's body on display.
17:40Think about it.
17:41In radio, he was 100% hidden.
17:42On Have You Been Paying Attention?
17:43He was 50% visible.
17:44Then on The Logies and this show, he's 100% visible.
17:49If Sam's top 50% led to success, his bottom 50% will lead to Super Starter.
17:56The secret to Sam's career has been right under his penis the whole time.
18:04And I know what you're thinking.
18:05If it's all about the legs, how do you explain the increase in success between Season 1 and
18:21Season 2?
18:22This is inarguable, right?
18:23Russell Crowe's been on this season, there's been an increase in success, but the percentage
18:27of Sam Paying's body on display has plateaued.
18:29That's what you're thinking.
18:30Wrong.
18:31Season 2 has an extra section of live audience over there.
18:34So if you took a bird's eye view, this is Season 1, this is what it looks like, and this
18:37is the level of coverage.
18:39Visual coverage for live audience in Season 1 got of Sam's legs.
18:42For Season 2, there's extra audience, which means 25% extra coverage of what I call the
18:48legs.
18:49So now, the next question, where do we go from here?
18:55Season 3.
18:56What's next for Season 3?
18:57I've spoken with Sam and some very important network executives, and we would like to give
19:01you an exclusive sneak peek into what you can expect for Season 3.
19:04Sam, please show them what they've all been waiting for.
19:19Anything for you?
19:26Weirdly, Tom's a tits guy, though.
19:30Big thanks to Tom Cashman, a lot less of my legs and a lot more of Claudia Carvin in
19:35a moment after this break.
19:45G'day, Robert Irwin here.
19:46I've just come back from Dancing with the Stars in the States, but Sam Pang, I just
19:50wanted to send a message and wish you all the best.
19:53I hear that they've given you a show.
19:55That's so exciting.
19:56All the very best with the first episode.
19:58I know it's...
19:59Oh, it's not the first.
20:00Oh, it's the finale.
20:02Oh, right.
20:03Oh, congratulations on an entire season of your show.
20:08Well, I hope it's been a great ride, all the very best, and hey, cross fingers for
20:13a Season 2.
20:14You never know, right?
20:15Okay.
20:16Good on you, mate.
20:17Keep crushing it.
20:18That's great for you.
20:19I'm so proud of you.
20:20Awesome.
20:21Sam.
20:22Is that alright?
20:23Is his name Sam?
20:24Yeah.
20:25Alright, cool.
20:30Welcome back.
20:31Thank you, Robert.
20:32I really appreciate that.
20:34My first guest tonight made her screen debut at age 10, playing a disgruntled child.
20:39That's right.
20:42Since then, she's written, produced and starred in basically every Australian television show
20:47worth watching.
20:48Let's take a look.
20:49I've got news.
20:50Now's the time, Jack.
20:51Talk to me.
20:52Oh, it's a little Elizabethan whore.
20:54Daddy's gonna kill you.
20:55What was I supposed to do?
20:56I've never loved a man the way I love these shoes.
20:58Oh, what's that supposed to mean?
20:59I just thought I was a total legend.
21:00Oh, shit.
21:01Please welcome Claudia Carbon.
21:02Hi, Becky.
21:03Hello.
21:04How are you?
21:05So good.
21:09Cheers.
21:10Claudia, thanks so much for being here.
21:12Thanks for having me.
21:13It's so nice.
21:14My favourite part was when you walked straight past Becky.
21:16No, I said hello.
21:17Yeah, what are we supposed to do?
21:18Rude.
21:19Fist bump or something.
21:20I think we very respectfully acknowledged each other.
21:21Do you want us to cuddle?
21:22Do you want us to cuddle?
21:23You're sick.
21:24You're sick.
21:25You're sick.
21:26Look at that.
21:27They love me.
21:35Cheers.
21:36Claudia, thanks so much for being here.
21:37Thanks for having me.
21:38It's so nice.
21:39My favourite part was when you walked straight past Becky.
21:40No.
21:41I said hello.
21:42Yeah, what are we supposed to do?
21:43Rude.
21:44I wanted to, that's all better now.
21:51Hey, Claudia, did you remember the role of disgruntled child?
21:55Yes, I do.
21:56I was about 10 and I wasn't a natural.
22:01I looked straight down the barrel of the camera.
22:03Are you sure about that?
22:04Because here it is here and Claudia is on the left.
22:07Hey, kids.
22:08Hey, kids.
22:09Hey, hey.
22:10Who wants to throw the dollar?
22:11Me!
22:12Here we go.
22:13Oh!
22:14It's your dollar.
22:15It's your...
22:16My panda!
22:17Oh.
22:18Oh.
22:19Oh.
22:20Oh.
22:21Oh.
22:22Claudia, you, you make that other child look positively gruntled, by the way, compared
22:26to your disgruntled.
22:27You're disgruntled.
22:28What do you, what do you think about when you see that little, little girl?
22:30That deep voice.
22:31My panda!
22:32I had a very deep voice when I was young.
22:34Really?
22:35Quite husky.
22:36Yeah.
22:37Um, yeah.
22:38My panda!
22:39I looked at that.
22:40I've got no idea what's going on in that scene, by the way.
22:42Well, do you want me to tell you?
22:44It's a bit elaborate.
22:45Happy, happy.
22:46It might be a bit boring, you might cut, you might cut it out later.
22:51There, there is no cutting, it's live.
22:55Oh, yeah.
22:56Sorry.
22:57So pretend it's a play.
22:59Okay.
23:00Um, this guy pretended we were his children so that he could get drugs from a chemist.
23:07Oh my god.
23:08I know.
23:09Pretty raunchy.
23:10Stealing back his moves.
23:11Yeah.
23:12It was pretty subversive stuff.
23:13Speaking of your voice, were you, were you teased?
23:15I read somewhere where you were teased as a child because of your voice.
23:18I used to be called Claude the Crow, because I had a husky voice, yeah.
23:23Really?
23:24Yeah.
23:25What, and what happened?
23:26Did it get, how did, I thought your voices break and then they get high, they get lower.
23:30They start high and then they get lower.
23:32I was told when I was young that women's voices get lower as you get older and I really freaked
23:37out then, because my voice sounded like this when I was like 10 years old.
23:40I was like, oh god, where am I going from here?
23:43You've been doing interviews for a long time, it's just quite wonderful to have you on my
23:46show.
23:47I really, really appreciate it.
23:48But here you are on the Midday Show, Claudia Carvin, with Ray Martin at the age of 14.
23:53How do you mope and get sad when you're 14?
23:55How do you, what did you do?
23:56Think of...
23:57You just think about sad things, think about mum and dad, think about the role and it just
24:03comes, I don't really know.
24:05But they were real tears.
24:07Yeah.
24:08From memory, a lot of Ray's guests ended up in tears by the way.
24:16Once again, what about that, how old are you, 14 I think?
24:1914, yeah things have changed.
24:21We just paint them on in post now.
24:23Yeah, no real tears.
24:24So is it, what is it?
24:25No, I'm joking.
24:26Back then you used to think about your parents to cry.
24:29Is that still the same?
24:30What do you do now?
24:31Well, I was away from home filming High Tide for about six or seven weeks, so I think
24:36I was missing them.
24:38Now, you know, I think as you get older there's sadly a lot to cry about, so you cry quite
24:45easily.
24:46Yeah?
24:47Yeah.
24:48So it just depends on the day, what you pick?
24:50Yeah.
24:51I'm not going to tell you.
24:53It's secret, it's secret, secret actors business.
24:56About what?
24:57You could cry pretty easily, couldn't you?
24:59Um...
25:01Not...
25:04I don't really know what you want me to say there.
25:07I mean, I just...
25:08Yeah, I mean, I do cry all the time.
25:10Yeah.
25:11But, um...
25:12Again, it's pretty personal, yeah.
25:14I mean, when's the last time you cried when you found out this is your last ever episode?
25:19I cry after every show in the toilets by myself.
25:23All right, what about...
25:24I'm sorry, that's what it is.
25:25So this one here, you've got to...
25:26I know you're not going to tell me what makes you cry or what your motivation is to cry,
25:30Claudia, but I've noticed, by the way, you've worked with a lot of big names in your storied
25:34career.
25:35Guy Pearce, there's one there.
25:37Alex Demetriatus.
25:38Vince Colosmo.
25:40Hugh Jackman.
25:41Hey, this is a genuine question.
25:43So, who's...
25:44Who's...
25:45Do you remember all those scenes in those movies?
25:51Terrible job.
25:53Terrible job?
25:54Terrible job.
25:55I'm sure...
25:56I'll give you an out.
25:57I'm sure they're all great.
25:58All great.
25:59But...
26:00But...
26:01Who was the best?
26:02Kisser.
26:03I have answered...
26:04I have answered this before, so I'm sure he knows.
26:07Joel Edgerton.
26:08Oh, yeah, that'd be nice.
26:10Joel Edgerton.
26:13He's so good.
26:14How would you...
26:15When one word, how would you describe his breath?
26:20That's a good question.
26:21Good...
26:22I...
26:23I don't...
26:24His breath.
26:25Probably minty.
26:26Minty.
26:27Probably.
26:28Usually...
26:29Minty with a base of, like, fish or what.
26:31I don't know.
26:33Because anyone can...
26:34We all know what mint is, but it's like...
26:35You know how some people have a taste?
26:37It...
26:38It was a while ago.
26:39Okay.
26:40It was a while ago.
26:41Joel Edgerton...
26:42Joel Edgerton's the best, though.
26:43Yeah?
26:44Yeah.
26:45So someone not in the clip.
26:46Great.
26:48Sorry.
26:49What was...
26:50The Hugh Jackman one, we actually had to reshoot that three times.
26:54Really?
26:55That track.
26:56I love Hugh Jackman.
26:57No, he's the best.
26:58Like, you know, as you get older, you go, oh, there's often a difference between perception
27:02and reality.
27:03He is the best guy on planet Earth.
27:06Yeah?
27:07Genuinely, he's beautiful.
27:08Beautiful.
27:09We did not have chemistry and the kissing was...
27:11Really?
27:13But he's gorgeous.
27:14Yeah, I can't imagine kissing Hugh Jackman.
27:16I love him.
27:17Well, also...
27:18I can.
27:19He's so tall...
27:20He's so tall that they used to have to dig a hole for him and put me on a crate.
27:26So maybe that affected the chemistry.
27:28It was awkward.
27:29The general rule, yeah.
27:30Yeah.
27:31Well, I've always...
27:32I'm glad that he's a good guy, because, um...
27:33He's the best.
27:34I've always considered him a bit of a showbiz arsehole.
27:36But anyway, there you go.
27:38I've got no doubt, no surprise at all that he's a good guy.
27:41Hey, guess what?
27:42You know I can't do this show on my own, thankfully.
27:44Becky, it's time for this.
27:49You all right, Becky?
27:54Claudia, are you ready for this?
27:55Yes.
27:56Well, no.
27:57Well, I'm a bit worried, because you sort of...
27:58It might be a bit stepping on the other stuff.
28:00But I just wanted to know, what do you daydream about?
28:05Um...
28:07Um...
28:08What wordle...
28:09Word I'm gonna...
28:11Use the next morning?
28:13Mmm...
28:14Really?
28:15Just imagine, you know, you're on a plane.
28:17You've got your headphones in.
28:18You're playing, like, Lana Del Rey.
28:20Looking out the window.
28:22What comes to you?
28:24My honest answer is...
28:26My death.
28:27Oh.
28:29Oh, I'll tell you how you're gonna die.
28:33How?
28:34Um, it's really...
28:35Playing Wordle.
28:36Yeah.
28:37No, she's gonna die in Thailand with me.
28:39We're there together, babe.
28:40It's so fun.
28:41We're gonna have so much fun.
28:42All right.
28:43I've gotta...
28:44That's a joke from before that she probably didn't see.
28:47I've got a follow-up question.
28:49When you're playing Wordle, what's the...
28:50What's the first...
28:51You know, what's your opening gambit?
28:52What's the...
28:53That's a good...
28:54What's the word?
28:55It's what comes into my brain at the time.
28:57So, it's really, like...
28:58It's quite, um...
29:00Indicative of what you're thinking about.
29:02It's...
29:03It's cosmic.
29:05It could be, like, death.
29:07Death.
29:08It could be death, by the way.
29:09That's a good...
29:10Well, once I woke up at two in the morning, I was like,
29:12Oh, I'm wide awake.
29:13I might as well play Wordle.
29:14And it was night time.
29:15I put in night.
29:16And I got it in one.
29:17Wow.
29:18First go.
29:19First go.
29:21That's awesome.
29:23Must be good to be Claudia Carvin, by the way.
29:26I'm sorry.
29:27Winning.
29:28It's gonna be a good day tomorrow.
29:30You're promoting Bump, Christmas movie on Stan.
29:33Um, Bump has now five seasons, which is amazing.
29:36And now it's got a movie, which is out now for Christmas.
29:39So...
29:40But just congratulations, by the way.
29:41You must be very, very proud.
29:42Isn't it amazing?
29:43Five seasons.
29:44Wonderful.
29:47Yeah.
29:48Very proud.
29:49It's a beautiful show.
29:50Um, I don't know if I'm ever gonna repeat.
29:52You have a, you know, job as sweet as that again.
29:54It was heaven.
29:55Lovely people.
29:56Loved everything about it.
29:57Five seasons.
29:58Now the movie.
29:59Set in Columbia.
30:00Um, it's a party.
30:02It's really festive.
30:03It's perfect for this time of year.
30:05In that, in Bump, you play a, the mother of a teenage girl
30:08who's had a surprise baby, which, and I didn't know this.
30:12They're, they're called toilet babies.
30:16Is that right?
30:17Well...
30:18I don't know if that's a medical term, but I'm just saying it's...
30:20That's a, it's a surprise.
30:22She had a cryptic pregnancy.
30:24Okay.
30:25So she didn't realise she was pregnant.
30:27And so she had a baby.
30:28And she was on the toilet when she had the baby.
30:31Well, then she went into an ambulance.
30:33But yeah.
30:40Any toilet babies here tonight?
30:42Um, I want to just finish with this.
30:44Last week Alan Davies was on the show and he gave me some acting advice.
30:46I'm about to do some acting advice.
30:47I'm about to do some acting.
30:48Have you got any advice for me?
30:49Are you?
30:50Well...
30:51What was his advice?
30:52He said, just don't do anything.
30:53He just said, be still, just do nothing.
30:56And then...
30:57Okay.
30:58Show me, show me that.
30:59I think you've seen it for about three segments now.
31:02No.
31:03Do nothing.
31:04Show me it.
31:05Show me.
31:06Show me.
31:07Show me thinking about what you're going to be doing tomorrow morning when you wake up
31:12in bed.
31:13I don't...
31:14See, that's good.
31:15What about, what about walking?
31:16Do you know how...
31:17Not in this time slot, Claudia Carvin.
31:18I...
31:19We've got to move on.
31:20I just want to say thank you so much for coming on the show.
31:21I really appreciate it.
31:22It's been great to chat.
31:23Please thank Claudia Carvin for my chat with Claudia Carvin after this.
31:49Look at you, Sam Pang, with your own show.
31:53In case you forget who you are.
31:55Who the fuck is Sam Pang?
31:58I'm here!
31:59Getting a bit of this going.
32:01How is the ivory trade going, by the way?
32:04I take full responsibility for the last 13 years.
32:07Well, I don't feel as bad now about, you know, referring to you as the walking cadaver.
32:12And I thought, you know what I'll do? I'll lick her armpit.
32:15That's your signature move.
32:16So I'm just going...
32:18Get your pants on.
32:20Warnie wants to meet you.
32:21Do you ever talk back to them?
32:22This is a great question that nobody's ever asked me.
32:24Yes.
32:25I told you to ask that question.
32:29She's dead!
32:31Boom!
32:32Got them all alive!
32:34How do you think the interview's going?
32:35Yeah, better than expected.
32:36Come in where the money is, motherfucker.
32:39Good point.
32:41Good point.
32:42This is good, solid family entertainment.
32:45This is, this is what, this is what Australian television is.
32:56Welcome back.
32:57Yesterday, I lived the dream of having a chat with a Spice Girl.
33:01The sporty one.
33:02I'll make you sweat.
33:04Melanie C.
33:05We wanted to be the biggest band in the world.
33:07It was like our ultimate fantasy.
33:09If you want my future, forget my air, air.
33:13We got up to so much mischief.
33:15It's wild, isn't it?
33:16What do you think about that?
33:17There's more to me than being sporty, Spice.
33:20Mel C's got a new single called Sweat.
33:24Now we recorded the interview early yesterday morning, which was unfortunate because I hadn't
33:28been home yet.
33:29But I think I kept it together.
33:35Enjoy.
33:36Hello, Mel C.
33:38Thank you for joining me.
33:39No, it's good to see you.
33:40How are you?
33:41I'm, uh, yeah, I'm a little bit dusty.
33:43I'm not going to lie.
33:44Yeah.
33:45Yeah.
33:46Where have you been?
33:47You're looking, well, I'd say smart, but you're looking a bit disheveled to be honest.
33:49I would, well, I did my best to kind of hide it from you, but I don't think I've done
33:53the best job.
33:54I was at a, um, I was at a black tie event last night, Mel C, you know, just at a charity
33:58event, just, you know, giving back.
34:00Okay.
34:01I don't know how you feel about philanthropy, but you know, fundamentally I'm against it.
34:07All right.
34:08The new single Sweat.
34:09Tell us about the new song.
34:10Okay.
34:11If nobody's seen the video, it's probably worth a watch.
34:14It's really fun.
34:15It's been very heavily inspired by a lot of iconic fitness moments.
34:20Things that have inspired me over the years, from movies like Flashdance to songs like
34:25Let's Get Physical, Olivia Newton-John.
34:28And I just had a lot of fun in the studio, put that all together.
34:31And it's very much the aesthetic for the album, really.
34:34I've had a lot of fun being a DJ for the past eight years.
34:37So I wanted to make an album that was more in line with what I play as a DJ.
34:41It's more electronic and lyrically just really leaning into that whole fitness thing.
34:47And yeah, not on every song, but on, you know, quite a few of the songs, a bit tongue-in-cheek,
34:52a bit more fun than stuff I've maybe done in the past.
34:55Okay.
34:56Well, speaking of DJing, did you DJ in a sauna in New York City?
34:59Is that right?
35:00I did.
35:01It was amazing.
35:03So it was in a sauna.
35:05It was a sober rave, thankfully, because you shouldn't drink and use saunas.
35:09But it was quite an experience.
35:11Yeah.
35:12I didn't know what to expect, but it was quite a spiritual experience, to be honest.
35:17How did the electrical equipment go in the sauna?
35:20It was all right, you know.
35:22So I've done shows where it's been like blistering heat and the decks were like, did not want to know.
35:29But in the sauna, they were absolutely fine.
35:32So it wasn't crazy hot in there, but it was more of a moist heat.
35:36Do you know what I mean?
35:37And I thought, I don't know how the buttons are going to work.
35:40But it was fine.
35:41Moist Heat could be the name of your next single, by the way.
35:45All right.
35:46So is there anything else?
35:47You're here to talk about sweat and your music.
35:49So is there anything else that you'd like to say that I haven't asked?
35:52Because you've got to remember this.
35:54You're talking to someone who's not a very good interviewer.
35:56How did you get your job?
35:59Do you just know the right people?
36:01No, I don't know the right people.
36:02And it's a question many people have asked, Mel C.
36:04Speaking of getting jobs, though, with that other band you used to be with,
36:08Is it true that you, to get that job, you replied to an ad for an audition?
36:13Is that right?
36:14In 1994, there was an ad run in Stage Magazine.
36:17I've got it here.
36:18It actually looks like a wanted Dead or Alive poster.
36:21Can you see that?
36:22It does, doesn't it?
36:23Looking for girls aged 18 to 23, they wanted the ability to sing and dance.
36:27Tick, tick.
36:28Streetwise, outgoing, ambitious and dedicated.
36:31Okay, so I'd be three of the four.
36:34I don't know how streetwise I was.
36:36Right.
36:37But what you learn as a performer is you fake it till you make it, right?
36:42I know lots of people who've put on their CV silly things like they can ice skate or horse ride or speak French,
36:49you know, because obviously you do whatever you can to get the job.
36:52Well, you asked me about how I got this job.
36:54I answered an ad for my job at Channel 10 that just, and the criteria was,
36:58are you available on Monday nights from 8.30 to 9.30?
37:01It was fine.
37:03That was it.
37:04Simon Cowell famously passed on managing the Spice Girls.
37:08Is it nice when you run into him?
37:10Always.
37:11Always.
37:12So, he wasn't managing at the time.
37:14He was at a label.
37:15He was at a record label.
37:16And we were going to lots of labels and management.
37:20And he was probably the only person who said no, who didn't like us.
37:25Um, so yeah.
37:26And I think it's his biggest regret.
37:28I think he might have said that publicly before.
37:30Sporty, Scary, Baby, Ginger and Posh.
37:34You know those nicknames?
37:35We actually didn't make those up.
37:37It was a magazine article.
37:39And it was an editor of a magazine that gave us the nicknames.
37:42And they just stuck.
37:43And then we just, we love them and we embrace them.
37:46And what a fantastic like kind of accident marketing wise.
37:50It's a dream.
37:51Do you think there's a missed opportunity with like,
37:54you could have added an Asian member of the band called Five?
37:57Five Spice.
37:58Ah, I see what you did there.
38:00All right.
38:01Well, it's such a rich and colorful life.
38:03You're on The Voice, of course.
38:04A coach on The Voice.
38:06What's it like working with the late, great Richard Marks?
38:09He's a gentleman.
38:10Is he?
38:11Mm-hmm.
38:12Okay.
38:13He's very lovely.
38:14It feels as though you wouldn't have a bad thing to say about anyone.
38:17Do you know what?
38:18That's, yeah.
38:19You need to catch me on a bad day to slag somebody off.
38:22But the people I work with on The Voice, in fact, the whole team,
38:25it's a beautiful show.
38:26Sounds like the opposite of this show, Mel.
38:29I work on a show that's got a buzzer.
38:32You've got a show.
38:33Just tell me, how much fun is hitting that buzzer and spinning around?
38:35Oh, it's so much fun.
38:36The worst thing is not doing it.
38:38I hate not turning around.
38:39Why do you have a buzzer on your show, though?
38:41Not this show.
38:42There's another show I do called Have You Been Paying Attention,
38:44which is like a quiz show and you hit the buzzer and...
38:46You have another show?
38:47Yeah, you seem...
38:48You're right to be shocked and surprised.
38:52Um, there was an ad that I answered...
38:54I'm only pulling your leg.
38:56Actually, that's probably the meanest thing you've said in this interview, Mel.
38:59That's...
39:00We've got that on time.
39:01Last one, too.
39:02I don't know if you know this.
39:03I host the Logies.
39:04Do you know the Logies?
39:05I do know the Logies, yeah.
39:06Yeah, so I hosted them last year.
39:09And I actually, um, I mentioned you and Richard in the opening monologue,
39:14in a touching tribute.
39:15Did you?
39:16Are you going to share with me what you said?
39:18Absolutely.
39:19Are you ready?
39:20Yeah, I'm ready.
39:21The Voice is about to launch its 14th season
39:23and new coaches this year include Sporty Spice Mel C
39:26and the one and only Richard Marks.
39:28What are the odds both of them being available?
39:33I'm not sure I get it.
39:36By the way, Richard was there in the audience that night
39:38and he enjoyed it even less than that.
39:42Mel C, thank you so much.
39:44I know it's really late there.
39:45I just wanted to say thank you so much for your time.
39:47I really appreciate it.
39:48No problem.
39:49Lovely to meet you.
39:53A big thanks to Mel C.
39:55Up next, Oliver Clark is live in the News Lounge.
40:03Welcome back.
40:04I'm here with Becky Lucas.
40:05Becky, lovely to see you.
40:06Yeah, you too.
40:07Are you, uh, anything to promote, anything to plug?
40:20Uh, it's not career, but, um, me and Contagious George are actually...
40:26We have an announcement.
40:28Right.
40:29Is it...
40:30Oh, wow.
40:31Yeah.
40:32That's...
40:33Yeah.
40:34That's...
40:35You know, it's very hard from ultrasounds to tell who the father is.
40:37It is, but, you know, one of the nurses came in and she said,
40:41look, we've got some news for you.
40:42Yeah.
40:43She said, he's got the biggest cock we've ever seen.
40:45There you go.
40:47You must be very proud.
40:49I am.
40:50All right.
40:51So, Becky, tonight is the season finale.
40:53So, to wrap up the biggest stories of the year through song,
40:57please welcome Oliver Clark, live from the News Lounge!
41:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:06Mwah! Mwah!
41:08Ha-ha!
41:09Thank you so much, everybody.
41:10It's fantastic to be here wrapping up some of the biggest news stories of the year.
41:15Ooh.
41:16Ooh, a blue Hawaii.
41:20My usual.
41:23Anyway, hey, one of the biggest stories of the year.
41:26Let's head to Hollywood, old Tinseltown, in space.
41:29Hit it!
41:31Katy Perry to the moon
41:35With some other random stars
41:39Perry sang a song up there
41:43They should have left her up on Mars
41:48In other words
41:51Good news, though
41:55Yeah, she's dating a person of colour
41:59Justin Trudeau
42:03Thank you. Thank you so much.
42:04Mwah!
42:06And news just keeps coming in from Hollywood
42:11So let's go back to Tinseltown on Earth
42:14Hit it!
42:16Ha! Hey, Tony, that bass is swinging good
42:18Keep it walking, my friend
42:21Taylor Swift got engaged
42:24To Travis Kelsey
42:25She will see
42:26She will wed
42:27Though it seems
42:28A little strange
42:30And he seems
42:31To be
42:32Half brain dead
42:37Thank you so much.
42:42And the big news in sport this year comes from a young gentleman who has been dominating the athletics track both here and abroad.
42:50Hit it!
42:51Hit it!
42:55Oh, yes!
42:56Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick
42:58Oh, no!
42:59No, no, no, no, no!
43:05We are doing that again.
43:09We're doing it again.
43:11There's too much pressure on it.
43:12Too much pressure on that one.
43:13Breathe!
43:14Gout, gout, tick, tick, tick, tick
43:23Thank you so much.
43:32Ladies and gentlemen, I would love to introduce a good friend of mine to help sing the next news story.
43:37Please welcome Timu Dolly Parton.
43:39Hi, y'all!
43:47Wow.
43:48Thank you, Dolly.
43:49Would you help me sing the next news story?
43:51Sure can, little man.
43:53Hit it!
44:02Baby, I stuffed that up too, didn't I?
44:04Here we go!
44:05Here we go!
44:07Oh, Jesus!
44:12We'll hit to this chorus.
44:13Okay!
44:16But in you...
44:17Oh, no!
44:18I've really blown this one.
44:20Hey, do you want to start this one again as well?
44:22Is that okay?
44:23Can we do that?
44:24Hey, we'll start...
44:25Hey!
44:26There we go.
44:27Hey, this is my show.
44:30We can start again, though.
44:31We can do it again, great.
44:32It's not easy.
44:33I thought it was going very smooth, that one.
44:35Who would have thought that the gout-gout mist wouldn't have been the low point if that
44:38was...
44:40Are you ready?
44:41I think we're ready.
44:42Hit it!
44:43Ha, ha, ha, ha!
44:44Ha, ha, ha!
44:45Ha, ha, ha!
44:46Ha, ha, ha!
44:47Ha, ha, ha!
44:48Baby, here's the story that just would not die.
44:51The powerful and the rich getting away with crimes.
44:56Everybody knew there was something going on.
45:02silver as though...
45:03And scent me will have another moron.
45:08Flying people over on a little plane, trying to cover it up for so long.
45:11It was insane.
45:13Everybody knew there was something going on.
45:16There was something going on
45:20Everyone involved should be incarcerated
45:27Throw away the key, get them castrated
45:32Going over with each other, uh-huh
45:35Going one after another, uh-huh
45:40Island of Epstein, way too many teens
45:45On a private plane, Jeffrey and Ghislaine
45:49Island of Epstein, way too many teens
45:54We've been waiting for a while, uh-huh
45:57Just release the files, uh-huh
46:02Thank you, thank you
46:08And ladies and gentlemen, that has been the news
46:14Oh, wait, what's that over there?
46:19Encore?
46:20Well, I tell you what, as any great performer does, you sing your hits for your encore
46:25So, hit it!
46:33Well, she's the one you'd never taught
46:35She's the kind you wouldn't want to make your dinner
46:39And now she's found a place
46:43She's been locked up by the state-plated pin
46:46Mushroom lady
46:51Mushroom lady
46:55We're talking about that mushroom lady
46:58You wouldn't eat her from God
47:03Thank you so much
47:09Would you please thank Oliver Clark and Dolly, aka Frankie McNair with the Little Clown
47:15Back in a moment with the Wheel of segment
47:18I spin the wheel and whatever it lands on, that is the segment we do
47:31People getting pushed into a Christmas tree
47:33Oh my God
47:34A spoon or fork?
47:35It's got to be a fork
47:35What if I say fork?
47:37I don't know
47:37Synchronised swimmers
47:39Beers with make-up
47:43Beers with making beer
47:45It's stopped on rickshaw karaoke
47:47I miss you at sleep
47:50There's nothing romantic but the hours are key
47:55Oh no
47:55Slur or not a slur
47:57Sam, you are a huge
47:59Get him out of here, mate
48:01I was fighting intensifies in the Penguin Wars
48:04Celia Roundhouse kicks an audience member, I think
48:06W-W-F it's landed on
48:1020% chance of rain
48:12And a 100% chance of pain
48:15Oh my God
48:17What the fun
48:20And a freak
48:22This show is fun
48:24Welcome back
48:28But just before we're finished for the final time this year
48:32It's time for the
48:33Wheel of segment
48:35That's right
48:37Wheel of segment
48:39Brought to you this week by Thai crematoriums
48:43Anyway
48:43Here we go
48:45Let's see what we've got
48:46You haven't seen that?
48:51Becky Lucas
48:51I'll explain
48:53You know how it works
48:54Whatever it lands on
48:55That's the segment that we do
48:56You were here for Spoon or 4 the first season
48:58I got it
48:59Yeah, okay
49:00Probably didn't need to explain that
49:02These are our two most requested segments of the year
49:05Alright
49:05And it's Christmas
49:06So we figured
49:07Why not give them both a really good chance
49:09So
49:09Let's just see what happens
49:11And we'll give it a spin
49:12Alright
49:12There it is
49:14You did Spoon or 4 didn't you?
49:19Yeah, I did Spoon or 4
49:19Yeah, that was a breakout hit of seg 1
49:22Yeah, usually we have all other segments to talk about
49:27But tonight it's just this one
49:29What are you hoping it lands on?
49:31Well I say this
49:31Rickshaw karaoke I got to do with the great Tim Rogers
49:34Which was a big thrill
49:35But you've always wanted to physically harm me
49:38I've always wanted to push you into a Christmas tree
49:40So let's just see what happens here
49:42It's getting
49:42So rickshaw karaoke or people getting pushed into a Christmas tree
49:47It's going to be one of them
49:49Does it always take this
49:50Yeah, usually we run out of things to talk about
49:54And that's happened again tonight Becky
49:56So, hold on, it's getting close
49:59Ooh, could be Christmas tree
50:01Could be rickshaw karaoke
50:03It could be
50:04Whoa
50:07I can't believe it
50:13It's a tie
50:15It's a tie
50:15It's a tie that's never happened before
50:18He's going to run me over with a rickshaw
50:23You never know
50:25Anyway, it's a tie
50:26It's never happened before
50:27I guess we've got no choice
50:29Jingle all the way
50:32Oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh
50:36Hey, help me out George
50:38We wish you a Merry Christmas
50:40We wish you a Merry Christmas
50:42We wish you a Merry Christmas
50:44And a Happy New Year
50:47That amazingly is our show
50:58Big thanks to our guests
50:59Cordia Carbon, Mel C, Tom Cashman, Oliver Clark, Frankie McNair
51:03My special guest announcer, Becky Lucas
51:05Tony O'Brien, Russell Crowe, Robert Irwin, Will Anderson
51:09Nick, Sophia, Hawthorne, everyone at Channel 10
51:13Our incredible production team
51:15John, The General and Alfie
51:16S, B, M, G, Rosie, Jo, Beth, Georgie, Tara, Mo, Wise, Little Walker
51:21Errol, Charlie, Cav, Jeff, Ash, Jordan, Ben, and Contagious George
51:25Good night, Australia
51:26See you next year
51:27Bye for now
51:28Bye for now
51:44Gowt, gowt
51:45Gowt
51:47Let's hear it for seven
51:49Bye for now
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