- 8 hours ago
A Good Romantic Story HD
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00There's your shirt up for you.
00:00:02Bitch.
00:00:07What's up, queerbait?
00:00:09Oh, this is Justin and his baby Peterson.
00:00:12Lomi, dude.
00:00:13Hey, was that Amber that was just walking by with her fine ass?
00:00:16Yeah, me and her, we got a little thing going on.
00:00:18Oh, please. You couldn't hit that with roofies and a guided missile.
00:00:21Oh, you're one to talk, Romeo.
00:00:22Hey, what do you think about my massage parlor idea?
00:00:25I mean, I'm into it, but we still need a ride.
00:00:28Yeah, I was planning on asking Roger at lunch.
00:00:30That kid is the biggest pussy in our school.
00:00:32Ten bucks says he doesn't do it.
00:00:34Bet.
00:00:35Hey, see you at third period?
00:00:37Alright, sounds good, man.
00:00:39You know, raccoons are really filthy animals, but they make great hats.
00:00:43Just look at this one.
00:00:44Can anyone tell me who made this hat famous?
00:00:47Anyone?
00:00:49Amber McKay?
00:00:51Davy Crockett.
00:00:53That's right, the greatest explorer on the American frontier.
00:00:57Just like each of you, because tomorrow on our field trip to Kickapoo Mountain,
00:01:01we're going to be looking for fossils and arrowheads and bones and relics.
00:01:05Anything you can find.
00:01:07How about finding a clue?
00:01:09You think some costume angles are going to make this shit interesting?
00:01:11Yeah.
00:01:12And to make matters worse, tomorrow's going to be hot as balls.
00:01:16Who could beat something like that?
00:01:17You couldn't even buy any hardware at the store.
00:01:18Speaking of hot, I'd like to explore for some of her buried treasure.
00:01:22I had to get a whole bunch of rabies shots.
00:01:25What do you mean?
00:01:26And then I got scurvy.
00:01:32A massage parlor.
00:01:33Bet you catch more crabs than an Alaskan whore.
00:01:36That's what condoms are for, dude.
00:01:38Didn't you hear they busted one of those places last week?
00:01:40It was on the news, the cops locked up everyone.
00:01:42Yeah, where do you think I got the idea?
00:01:44You guys are straight up crazy.
00:01:48Look, Ryan's dad said this only happens but once every five years.
00:01:51They raid some unlucky joint just to make it look like they care about stopping prostitution.
00:01:55Then it's back to business as usual.
00:01:58It's true, man.
00:01:59When's the last time I heard about a raid like that?
00:02:01Yeah.
00:02:02So you win?
00:02:04Sorry, I don't need it that bad.
00:02:06You know who says that?
00:02:07Guys who need it the worst.
00:02:14Ten bucks, man.
00:02:17Better see if Shawn can take it.
00:02:19Shawn?
00:02:20For reals?
00:02:21Come on, man.
00:02:22I'm not letting that pussy...
00:02:23Ah!
00:02:24Too late.
00:02:25Same.
00:02:26Great.
00:02:27Have you guys seen Jordan today?
00:02:29Oh my god.
00:02:30He's so cute.
00:02:31So, Cindy, what have you been wearing to your party Friday?
00:02:34I don't know.
00:02:35I haven't found it yet.
00:02:37What about you, Amber?
00:02:38Well, Matt likes red so, you know.
00:02:41So you seriously let him influence what you wear?
00:02:44Hey, sometimes a girl's gotta sacrifice.
00:02:47And how far does this sacrifice go?
00:02:49Have you guys...
00:02:50No!
00:02:51We do lots of non-entry stuff.
00:02:53If I let him get with me too soon, he may decide there's nothing to keep him around for the summer.
00:02:58Guys are such horndogs.
00:03:01Not all guys.
00:03:02Like Diaz, he's the opposite.
00:03:04I feel like I'm ready, but he just keeps making excuses.
00:03:07Maybe...
00:03:08And don't be ridiculous.
00:03:09You're beautiful.
00:03:11Damn.
00:03:12Maybe he has steroid dick.
00:03:13You know, the one muscle that doesn't benefit.
00:03:17Hey, what do you guys think of Ryan?
00:03:20Ew.
00:03:21Isn't he like best buds with that perv Justin Peterson?
00:03:24Ew.
00:03:25Disgusting.
00:03:26Disgusting.
00:03:27Yeah, but I don't know.
00:03:28I heard he likes me.
00:03:30I don't get you, Amber.
00:03:31Matt is fucking hot and you're considering Ryan?
00:03:33Last time I checked, a girl can still look.
00:03:35A girl has got to keep her options open.
00:03:38Right?
00:03:39Mm-hmm.
00:03:40All I know is, I wouldn't fuck Justin Peterson with your pussy.
00:03:44That's handy.
00:03:45Did you see Amber's butt in those skinny jeans today?
00:03:48Aw man, she'd bend over and ooh, out popped the whale tail.
00:03:51What the hell's a whale tail?
00:03:53Dude, it's like when the thong is poking out and it's like, oh, it's like a whale tail.
00:03:58What's up my niggas?
00:04:03Nice one, Sean.
00:04:04So I heard there's a couple of pussies out here looking for a ride.
00:04:07Yeah, you got mom's whip?
00:04:09Yeah, would your mom blow me for a wooden nickel?
00:04:12Of course.
00:04:15Or the car.
00:04:21Hold on, I just gotta move some.
00:04:23Got a diaper bag and some baby shit or something.
00:04:30Fuck off, nerd.
00:04:31You don't know us like that.
00:04:34What?
00:04:36Assholes.
00:04:37Hey, buddy.
00:04:54Can you let us in?
00:04:56Asshole.
00:04:58What? I thought you guys were too cool.
00:05:01Dude, Pam Blake and Tammy Powers were right there.
00:05:03What did you want us to do?
00:05:04Yeah, this car is like kryptonite to all poon tanks.
00:05:08Man, did they see me get in?
00:05:09Yeah, probably.
00:05:10Shit, why didn't you guys say anything?
00:05:12Oh, like you had a chance anyway.
00:05:14Just drive.
00:05:22Alright, so who am I dropping off first?
00:05:24Who said anything about going home?
00:05:26My mom.
00:05:27See, here we are.
00:05:28This is what I was telling you about.
00:05:29The back pages.
00:05:30Oh, see, look, they got tantric massage.
00:05:32That's Kama Sutra type stuff, you know?
00:05:34Me love you long time.
00:05:36Oh, and here's some Shiatsu.
00:05:37I'm pretty sure that's like doggy style, right?
00:05:40You retard, you're thinking of Shih Tzu.
00:05:42What are you guys looking at?
00:05:44Massage, dumbass.
00:05:45What are you trying to get us killed?
00:05:46Jesus, seriously, man.
00:05:47Pay attention.
00:05:48Alright, what about this one up here?
00:05:49Ninety-five dollars?
00:05:50What are they giving me a free phone, too?
00:05:52Wait, massage?
00:05:53Are you guys high?
00:05:54I just heard on the news they raided one of those places.
00:05:58Alright, this one over here.
00:05:59There's no price.
00:06:00Maybe ninety-five is cheap.
00:06:01No, no.
00:06:02I saw this on the internet.
00:06:03Chick's giving it up for like fifty bucks.
00:06:07Where are we going?
00:06:08Alright, take us here.
00:06:10This one.
00:06:11Take us to 8107 Wheeler Avenue.
00:06:14But that's like way across town.
00:06:16My mom needs the car.
00:06:17Oh, stop being a wuss.
00:06:19Mommy will understand.
00:06:21Oh, your dad will anyways.
00:06:22Haha, bet.
00:06:25Describe, faggot.
00:06:44What the hell?
00:06:45This doesn't look like anything.
00:06:46Yeah, well, maybe that's the point.
00:06:48It says sweet 300A.
00:06:50Maybe someone should stay guard outside.
00:06:53Stay guard for what?
00:06:54We're not bank robbers.
00:06:55I just want to get my dick sucked.
00:07:02Wait, wait, shit.
00:07:03How's this gonna work?
00:07:04What are we supposed to stay?
00:07:05Just ask for the special.
00:07:06What's the special?
00:07:07Does it matter?
00:07:08It's not like they're accidentally gonna give us an oil change
00:07:11instead of a blow job if we ask for the special.
00:07:13Shit, man.
00:07:14I don't have any cash.
00:07:15Just my credit card.
00:07:16So just use that.
00:07:17You explain to my mom the massage parlor bill on our statement.
00:07:20He makes a good point.
00:07:22Alright, well just wait for us in the lobby.
00:07:24We'll get you next time.
00:07:26Just don't fucking leave us here, okay?
00:07:28Okay.
00:07:29Okay.
00:07:39Can I help you?
00:07:40Yeah, we're here for the, uh...
00:07:41Um, we're here for the, the special?
00:07:43Yeah, yeah.
00:07:45You been here before?
00:07:46Uh, yeah!
00:07:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:49Lots of times.
00:07:50Yeah.
00:07:53$65 each one you pay now.
00:07:55See?
00:07:56Told you.
00:07:57$95 my ass.
00:08:06Oh, I'm good.
00:08:07I already got a massage.
00:08:11From my mom.
00:08:25Not any fucking porn.
00:08:40You pick Bill now.
00:08:42Hi, I'm Ron.
00:08:43I'm Walter.
00:08:48You.
00:08:55I'm sorry.
00:08:56I don't understand.
00:09:00Oh, no.
00:09:01It's actually Brian.
00:09:02With a, with a B.
00:09:05Do you take credit cards?
00:09:16So...
00:09:17Just like this?
00:09:20I'm sorry.
00:09:21I don't understand.
00:09:26Give me the, looking in the eyes.
00:09:30What, I don't know.
00:09:36I'm pretty sure this was not in your ass.
00:09:42Welcome.
00:09:48I'll take the, uh, special.
00:09:50Sure.
00:09:51Um, my mom's way.
00:09:52How much money is for us?
00:09:53He's making money.
00:09:54Not so large.
00:09:55But at least he's gonna pay for us.
00:09:59Oh creed it.
00:10:01I'm sorry.
00:10:03He's making money.
00:10:04I tell her, he's making money.
00:10:06He's taking money.
00:10:08He's making money.
00:10:14He's making money.
00:10:16You guys think?
00:10:17She's making money.
00:10:18Have a lot of money.
00:10:19I can't be able to buy her.
00:10:20Holy shit.
00:10:30Come on, speak English. Did she ask you?
00:10:32$100 full service.
00:10:34One, zero, zero.
00:10:36Oh, okay.
00:10:38You say you've been here before.
00:10:40I already paid $65, so I'm not going to pay any more.
00:10:44What are you doing?
00:10:46What are you doing?
00:10:48What are you doing?
00:10:50Why are you spending time with people?
00:10:52Bullshit!
00:11:00Ray, do it!
00:11:02Fucking Ray!
00:11:04Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:11:06Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:11:08Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:11:10Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:11:12No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:11:20Is he coming?
00:11:22I don't think so, man.
00:11:28Shit, dude, where the fuck is Sean?
00:11:30You shitting me?
00:11:32Come on, dude.
00:11:34Come on, let's peace out.
00:11:38How did that happen, dude?
00:11:40I was horny and distracted.
00:11:42See what the cops are going to do if they find that?
00:11:44Fuck!
00:11:46Alright, relax, relax.
00:11:48What was in it?
00:11:50My school ID, my library card, like another 50 bucks.
00:11:52Dude, come on.
00:11:54Sean!
00:11:56Where the fuck were you, asshole?
00:11:58You know the place got raided?
00:12:00Yeah, yeah, imagine that.
00:12:02Hey, check this out.
00:12:04Jesus Christ, dude.
00:12:06Yep.
00:12:07That's gonna be like a thousand bucks.
00:12:08Hey, look with your eyes, not your hands.
00:12:10What'd you do?
00:12:12Well, I took it.
00:12:14Found it and just took it.
00:12:16Pretty gangster, huh?
00:12:18Dude, I'm impressed. That's awesome.
00:12:20You better give us our 65 bucks back.
00:12:22Fucking better!
00:12:24Fuck!
00:12:26The bitch stole his wallet, man.
00:12:28Alright, let's get out of here.
00:12:30No, man, I'm sure if they found it, they would have called your parents by now.
00:12:45I do not want to hear any more about how I don't pay you enough attention.
00:12:50Why you don't?
00:12:51This table gets laid more than me.
00:12:53When was the last time you weren't too tired?
00:12:56No, dude, it's my parents.
00:12:58I can't hear you.
00:13:00I'm gonna call you back though, alright?
00:13:01Alright, bye.
00:13:02Can you keep it down for a great sake?
00:13:04The sun is...
00:13:05Yeah, I wanted it to keep it down.
00:13:07A man needs to sow his oats more than once and every six months.
00:13:11I love you too.
00:13:12I love you when you're married!
00:13:17God!
00:13:18Oh, goodness!
00:13:19Hail Weston this year!
00:13:20Weston's dead!
00:13:21Get out!
00:13:22Get out!
00:13:23Come here, Paul!
00:13:26What time it is?
00:13:27What?
00:13:28269?
00:13:29Clear for takeoff!
00:13:30You fucker!
00:13:31Get out of here!
00:13:32What?
00:13:33Move over, you maggots!
00:13:35Ow!
00:13:36It's time for breakfast!
00:13:37Ow!
00:13:38Ow!
00:13:39Ow!
00:13:40Ow!
00:13:41Ow!
00:13:42Ow!
00:13:43Ow!
00:13:44Ow!
00:13:45Ow!
00:13:46Ow!
00:13:47Ow!
00:13:48Ow!
00:13:49Ow!
00:13:50Ow!
00:13:51Ow!
00:13:52Ow!
00:13:53Ow!
00:13:54Ow!
00:13:55I don't know how to do this, cause we were going at you!
00:13:56Oh my god!
00:13:57Oh my god!
00:13:58Oh my god, he's making them.
00:13:59Oh my god!
00:14:00Oh my god!
00:14:01Oh my god, daddy!
00:14:02Ahhhh!
00:14:03Oh!
00:14:0405-0!
00:14:0805-0!
00:14:09Oh my god...
00:14:12Oh my god, he was already married!
00:14:16I got your shorts, man.
00:14:19Thanks. Excuse me while I go commit suicide.
00:14:25Is your ass okay?
00:14:27Oh my God.
00:14:39Hey Ryan, how was school?
00:14:41Sucked.
00:14:43Ryan!
00:14:44Mom, you want me to lie?
00:14:46I wanted to play football in P.E. today.
00:14:48It was embarrassing.
00:14:49Oh yeah?
00:14:50Meet any hot babes?
00:14:51Just the cheerleaders.
00:14:53Cheerleaders?
00:14:55Let me tell you about that.
00:14:57You think you want girls,
00:14:59and before you know it,
00:15:00you're 45,
00:15:02you're bolding,
00:15:03maybe you put on a pound or two,
00:15:05and your dearly beloved wife for 20 years
00:15:07won't give you the time of day.
00:15:09And your point is, Bill?
00:15:12Well, I remember when you were a cheerleader.
00:15:15Oh, back when you were in shape.
00:15:17Now look at you.
00:15:18I'm just saying,
00:15:19a lot of young ladies would be very interested in me if-
00:15:22Dad!
00:15:23Mom!
00:15:24Are you kidding me?
00:15:26Do your homework, young man,
00:15:28and clean that filthy rodent cage.
00:15:31Ryan!
00:15:32Ryan!
00:15:33Can you come down for a minute?
00:15:34Ryan!
00:15:35Yeah?
00:15:36Your permission's slipped.
00:15:37The field trip tomorrow?
00:15:38That's right.
00:15:39I almost forgot.
00:15:40Dad, I saw on the news last night that-
00:15:41the massage blog I got read it again?
00:15:42I thought you said that only happens like once every five years.
00:15:44Yeah, well, I've been wrong before.
00:15:45It's terrible news though.
00:15:46Now or am I going to go to get my weekly coochie?
00:15:48That's not funny.
00:15:49It's a joke, gal.
00:15:50At least an attempt at one.
00:15:51You can go wherever you want.
00:15:52No one would have it.
00:15:53You can go where you want.
00:15:54No one would have to ask me to get me.
00:15:55It's fine.
00:15:56See where we're going.
00:15:57I have to get my 1950s.
00:15:58How's my friend?"
00:15:59I'm looking.
00:16:00I've been wrong before.
00:16:02It's terrible news though.
00:16:04Now where am I going to go to get my weekly coochie?
00:16:07That's not funny.
00:16:09It's a joke, Elle. At least an attempt at one.
00:16:12You can go wherever you want. No one would have you.
00:16:14And I won't be here when you get back.
00:16:22Dad.
00:16:23You alright?
00:16:27Never mind.
00:16:30Alright, we're going on a trip to Kickaple Mountain.
00:16:41We're going to see lots of cliffs and water and waterfalls and...
00:16:45Hey, you boys are just playing for money, are ya?
00:16:48Yeah.
00:16:49Oh.
00:16:50Not at all.
00:16:51Alright, back to the mountain.
00:16:53We're going to see the river and some waterfalls and lots of rocks.
00:16:57We're going to see waterfalls and sharks and bears and...
00:17:00And then we're going to see where Daniel Boone paddled his canoe down the river and fight and wrestle the bears.
00:17:12Alright, we're here. Everybody out. Leave your lunches on the bus.
00:17:21Dude, Amber's all alone. You should go talk to her.
00:17:32What am I going to say?
00:17:43Guys, just watch me, alright?
00:17:59Excuse you.
00:18:01That was good. That was really smooth. I thought you had her.
00:18:31Wow. Getting a little bit violent over there.
00:18:49You funny? Yeah. I found out how much my balls can sweat in 30 minutes.
00:18:55This sucks. This sucks. This sucks.
00:19:01What is that?
00:19:07Should we go talk to Rosenbaum? Yeah, where is he?
00:19:11How the fuck would I know?
00:19:17Hey, Mr. Rosenbaum. You ever seen one of these before?
00:19:21It looks like a small fetish of some kind.
00:19:31A fetish? Like you're into feet or bukkake or something?
00:19:33Don't be stupid, Justin. It's a name given to small carvings like this by Native American peoples.
00:19:39They believe it harnesses the power of nature.
00:19:41Nice find, Wilt.
00:19:43Thanks.
00:19:45Hey, Brian. What's going on?
00:19:55Uh, it's Ryan actually.
00:19:59Hi, Ryan. You have something on your face there.
00:20:01Um, what? Yeah, totally.
00:20:03Oh, poor thing.
00:20:07Yes, did you get so cute.
00:20:09Why don't you come sit with me?
00:20:11Oh, with me.
00:20:13I mean, ladies we can just all go up and sit together, right?
00:20:21Well...
00:20:23Yeah, that's fine. Okay.
00:20:25Oh my god, you are so funny.
00:20:27I tried really hard.
00:20:29Oh, you have sweat dripping from your forehead right there.
00:20:31Oh, that digging.
00:20:33Oh.
00:20:35Oh, that digging.
00:20:37Oh.
00:20:39Oh, no.
00:20:41Oh, no.
00:20:43Oh, no.
00:20:45Oh, no.
00:20:47Oh, no.
00:20:49Oh, no.
00:20:51Oh, no.
00:20:53Oh, no.
00:20:54Oh, no.
00:20:56You mind if I, you know, wash you off a little later?
00:20:58Hmm?
00:20:59I don't mind at all.
00:21:00Oh, okay.
00:21:09Yeah, I'm telling you, man.
00:21:10It was crazy.
00:21:11It was like a feeding frenzy.
00:21:12Sydney Tolliver even grabbed it.
00:21:14Grabbed what?
00:21:15It, you retard.
00:21:17She grabbed her Justin Peterson on the bus.
00:21:19Dude, all I know is that they wanted it.
00:21:22Alright.
00:21:23Goddamn, Amber smells so good.
00:21:25Holy shit.
00:21:27Hey, what up, Ryan?
00:21:29What's up, Matt?
00:21:31So, um, what do you think you do with Amber today, huh?
00:21:36You know, my Amber?
00:21:37Yeah, faggot.
00:21:38Wait, your Amber?
00:21:39Like, you got a receipt for that shit?
00:21:41Back the fuck up.
00:21:42What?
00:21:43Dude, what the hell, alright?
00:21:45She came on to me.
00:21:46I didn't do anything.
00:21:47Alright, well maybe next time, you should play a little harder to get.
00:21:50Yeah, well maybe, um, maybe Amber finally got herself a little class.
00:21:54I got class.
00:21:55She got herself some class, huh?
00:21:57Dude, stay down like how your dad likes a fuckface.
00:22:00Dumb asshole.
00:22:02Dude, are you alright?
00:22:05Yeah, yeah.
00:22:06I had your back.
00:22:07I mean, from like over there, but like, you got his back?
00:22:09I'm fine, I'm fine.
00:22:10Yeah, of course.
00:22:11Alright, I'm fine.
00:22:12Alright, yeah.
00:22:13Um, of course.
00:22:14Yeah.
00:22:15So how was the field trip today?
00:22:18It was alright, I guess.
00:22:20It's been in school.
00:22:21Find anything interesting?
00:22:22Actually, yeah.
00:22:29See, that's pretty neat.
00:22:35Looks like a little rabbit or something.
00:22:38You like it?
00:22:39It's yours.
00:22:40You don't want it?
00:22:41Hell no, it's just an old rock.
00:22:43Suit yourself.
00:22:44Thanks.
00:22:52You know, there was a time when you used to kiss me goodbye.
00:22:56That ship sailed a long time ago.
00:22:59You see that, Ryan?
00:23:00That's a former chillier we're talking.
00:23:05Maybe there's nothing worth kissing any more in the room.
00:23:09Oh, you're still here.
00:23:12Ryan, I...
00:23:13Sir?
00:23:14Excuse me, sir.
00:23:15You forgot your receipt.
00:23:16Oh.
00:23:17Thanks very much.
00:23:18And my number.
00:23:19Call me.
00:23:20Huh?
00:23:21Excuse me, sir.
00:23:22Excuse me, sir.
00:23:23You forgot your receipt.
00:23:24Oh.
00:23:25Thanks very much.
00:23:26And my number.
00:23:27Call me.
00:23:28Hello?
00:23:29Who is this?
00:23:40Oh.
00:23:41You have to hold on.
00:23:43Just hold it in the end.
00:23:44Bill, it's for you.
00:23:47Tom Rowley from Golf.
00:23:54Thank you. Tom Reilly from golf.
00:23:58Hello? Tom, yes?
00:24:02There must be some misunderstanding.
00:24:06No, that's not the way it happened.
00:24:10I swear to you, your Lindsay was hitting on me.
00:24:14Of course I know she's 17.
00:24:18I don't think of your daughter that way.
00:24:22I've never said two words to her.
00:24:26I'm telling you for the last time, talk to her.
00:24:30She came on to me. I didn't do anything.
00:24:34He didn't do anything.
00:24:38That's right. Now, good night.
00:24:48I'm telling you, it's The Rock. I mean seriously, like, that's gotta be the reason why those girls go out.
00:24:50Sexed up with me on the bus.
00:24:52Bullshit. You're an idiot, man.
00:24:54No, I'm not kidding.
00:24:56My dad's golf partner won't even talk to him anymore because all of a sudden his daughter wants to fuck my dad.
00:25:00Right after I gave him The Rock.
00:25:02Got to admit, that's pretty whack.
00:25:04Do you think it has some sort of Spanish fly powers?
00:25:06Or something?
00:25:08I mean, yeah, something like that.
00:25:10You know, it's definitely more than just a rock.
00:25:12I mean, there's only one way to make sure it works.
00:25:14It's like you say it does.
00:25:16Yeah, no, we gotta test it.
00:25:18Yeah, like now.
00:25:20So give it.
00:25:21My dad still has it.
00:25:22Well, you gotta get it back.
00:25:23Yeah, I know, but I don't wanna get him suspicious.
00:25:25Like, I gotta wait for the-
00:25:26Figure out what I did.
00:25:27Yeah, no, that's a good idea.
00:25:28I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna grab it, and then we'll meet up later.
00:25:31Wait.
00:25:32We'll go to the library?
00:25:34Come on, man, that'll be nice.
00:25:35Just me and you.
00:25:36I'm so fucking lucky to go on my ride home.
00:25:43Dude, you have no idea how many cool points I'm losing being seen at a library.
00:25:48Dude, you are so stupid.
00:25:50A condition which studies show is linked to low library patronage.
00:25:55Yeah.
00:25:56So is nerdism.
00:25:57It's not even a word, man.
00:25:58I don't-
00:25:59Shut up, Sean.
00:26:00You can't just add ism to a word.
00:26:01Just find a computer.
00:26:03Alright, alright, alright.
00:26:04Okay, so just look up-
00:26:06Like, uh-
00:26:07Native American-
00:26:08No, no.
00:26:09I'm just-
00:26:10Native American-
00:26:11I got it.
00:26:12Um, stones, rocks.
00:26:13How about-
00:26:14This one?
00:26:15Hi.
00:26:16Welcome to my wild world of fantasy.
00:26:18Wild world of fantasy, Sean.
00:26:20You know, I absolutely love to play.
00:26:22She loves to play.
00:26:23I enjoy all sorts of kinky fetish fun.
00:26:26Kinky.
00:26:27Fetish.
00:26:28Plunge on.
00:26:29You sick, sick bastard!
00:26:31Just turn it down.
00:26:32I don't want people to talk to me now.
00:26:34Well, sometime, I like to be pranking where the bad little boy is in the future.
00:26:39After all, he needs to be punished for the naughty.
00:26:42This is-
00:26:43Punished for an-
00:26:44I'M TALKING TO YOU, UNCLE FRANK!
00:26:46Just-
00:26:47Navigate away.
00:26:48People might be monitoring user activity or something.
00:26:49Or maybe-
00:26:50Really?
00:26:51You're going to monitor that shit.
00:26:53I'm not a lesson at the time.
00:26:54You know, just-
00:26:55Just navigate away.
00:26:56I need exactly what you need.
00:26:57I'll restrain you and make you crawl on your hands and knees and clean my toilet with your tongue.
00:27:03And after that...
00:27:05Disgusting!
00:27:07I'll drain you of your nasty man juice and feed it to you like the pig that you are!
00:27:13Can I use your computer to print something?
00:27:15Well, you'll have to ask Sean. He's the one using it.
00:27:19Station 2, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
00:27:22Yeah, get a life curve, alright?
00:27:25We cannot have public-access computers used to view pornographic content!
00:27:32Well, you can forget about it, you sick bastard!
00:27:34Fucking never mind.
00:27:35And how about my pity...
00:27:36And this is also a no-swear zone.
00:27:39Oh, smothering with my...
00:27:40Now beat it, mister!
00:27:42And I'll put these toes in your face and give you all this athlete's foot, actually.
00:27:48Ew, what the hell?
00:27:50You like that?
00:27:55Video game broken?
00:28:04What, a guy can't just hang out with his dad and watch the news?
00:28:08You kidding me?
00:28:09This is great!
00:28:10Tell you what, you want a beer?
00:28:12Fu- Yeah, sure!
00:28:14Get one for me too, would you?
00:28:29Well, I'm going to take a shower.
00:28:32No more beer for you!
00:28:33All right.
00:28:34All right.
00:28:36All right.
00:28:37Oh, hey turn my chin up!
00:28:47Uh, great.
00:28:49Oh-oh, he's даже pretty good.
00:28:54Cause he ruins it.
00:28:55He's amazing, man.
00:28:59You, you, amazing.
00:29:05Holy fuck!
00:29:06I don't see!
00:29:07I don't see!
00:29:08I don't see!
00:29:09I don't see!
00:29:10It is going to be outwards!
00:29:14So you guys ready for this?
00:29:19Yeah!
00:29:20Oh yeah!
00:31:22No.
00:31:23Stop!
00:31:24What are you doing?
00:31:25Let go of me!
00:31:27Yes!
00:31:28Get your hands off my pants!
00:31:31And some class, tonight's assignment is to read any short story by any author of the romantic
00:31:54period.
00:31:56Katie, darling, where do you think you're going?
00:31:58I was just going to change my seat somewhere in the back.
00:32:02I know.
00:32:03You'll sit in your assigned seat.
00:32:06Katie!
00:32:07Stop!
00:32:08What are you doing?
00:32:09Katie!
00:32:10Go to the principal's office right now!
00:32:11Get out of here!
00:32:12What's going on?
00:32:13What's going on?
00:32:14Katie!
00:32:15Go to the principal's office right now!
00:32:16Get out of here!
00:32:17What's going on?
00:32:18Katie!
00:32:19Girls!
00:32:20Stop it!
00:32:21Stop it!
00:32:22Gina!
00:32:23Go to the principal's office right now!
00:32:24Yeah!
00:32:25Go to the principal's office right now!
00:32:26He's lying!
00:32:27You too!
00:32:28Bondi, get out!
00:32:29I didn't do anything!
00:32:30What's that you've got, Mr. Wilson?
00:32:31Oh.
00:32:32It's nothing.
00:32:33It's my good luck chart.
00:32:34Well, whatever it is, it has nothing to do with English literature.
00:32:35It's got something to do with the romantic period.
00:32:37Now, you may have it back after class, or later, in detention if you'd rather.
00:33:00What's going on here?
00:33:15What's going on here?
00:33:17Mr. Sumner, I've been bad.
00:33:18Can I have detention?
00:33:19Boys, go on!
00:33:20If you want to be late for your next period, go on!
00:33:21Go!
00:33:22Go!
00:33:23Go!
00:33:24Go!
00:33:25You're so sorry!
00:33:27Miss Sumner, I've been bad.
00:33:31Can I have detention?
00:33:41Boys, go on!
00:33:43You want to be late for your next period, go on!
00:33:44Go!
00:33:45Go!
00:33:46Go!
00:33:47Go!
00:33:48Miss Sumner, you are SO.
00:33:52Huh, what?
00:33:53It's so fucking beautiful.
00:33:55Thank you, Mark.
00:33:57I thank you.
00:33:58Go on.
00:33:59Shoo.
00:34:00Shoo, shoo, shoo.
00:34:01Go.
00:34:02Go, go, go.
00:34:03Go.
00:34:04Boys, go.
00:34:18Next time, leave your toys at home.
00:34:22Yes, ma'am.
00:34:28Dude, try it.
00:34:30No way, man.
00:34:32Well, here, give it.
00:34:33I'll try it.
00:34:39Yes, Mr. Peterson?
00:34:40Ms. Sumner, I was wondering, uh, do you like me?
00:34:45Well, certainly, Justin.
00:34:49I like all my students.
00:34:51Good.
00:34:52Because I just wanted to know if, uh...
00:34:58Wait till I talk to your mother about that filthy mouth of yours.
00:35:02That worked really well.
00:35:06So, you sure you haven't seen them, man?
00:35:08Yeah, you're not since fifth period English.
00:35:09Oh my God.
00:35:10Dude, where have you been, man?
00:35:12I'm trying to get away from these girls, man.
00:35:13I'm not careful, they'll be all over me.
00:35:15You know what kind of sucks being hot?
00:35:17Don't forget it's just because what's in your pocket.
00:35:20You are still a loser.
00:35:21Yeah, man.
00:35:22And it doesn't even work right.
00:35:23Are you kidding me?
00:35:24Did you not see Sumner today?
00:35:26She was off the chain hot.
00:35:27Sumner?
00:35:28From the English department?
00:35:29Are you high, man?
00:35:30You didn't tell him.
00:35:31Nope.
00:35:32Dude, Sumner got a hold of The Rock today, and she turned into like the fattest hottie I've ever seen.
00:35:37Shit, man.
00:35:38If only I was dumb like you guys and wasn't an AP, we could have the same classes.
00:35:42Gee, no offense, asshole.
00:35:45And anyway, how come when I had The Rock and I talked to Sumner, she went all Jerry Springer on me?
00:35:49Yeah, I can't figure that one out.
00:35:51You hit on Sumner?
00:35:52You know, maybe she's like a tranny or something.
00:35:54I've seen some pictures where you can hardly tell if they have a...
00:35:56Shut the fuck up.
00:35:57No way, dude.
00:35:58Alright, listen.
00:35:59It's very obvious that we need to do some more tests on this.
00:36:03Alright, can you guys skip next period?
00:36:04Dude, for this I would skip college.
00:36:06Alright, alright.
00:36:07Sean, go get your car.
00:36:08Wait, why?
00:36:09Don't ask fucking questions.
00:36:11Just go get your car.
00:36:12Oh shit, dude.
00:36:14Girls, girls, girls.
00:36:15I'll get my car.
00:36:16Meet me at the corner.
00:36:21Alright, where are we going?
00:36:23Uh, to your house.
00:36:24What?
00:36:25That's the last place I'd want to go when we're skipping school.
00:36:27Yeah, I know.
00:36:28I just want to try this thing out on your mom.
00:36:30What?
00:36:31No way you and that rock are going anywhere near my mom.
00:36:33Jesus.
00:36:34Take it easy, psycho.
00:36:35Alright?
00:36:36I just want to see if someone like your mom, like a Sumner, doesn't get the hots for me.
00:36:41That might tell us something.
00:36:42Yeah, it'll mean she's not into stupid fags.
00:36:44Oh, come on, Sean.
00:36:45It's not about him banging your mom.
00:36:48Is it?
00:36:49Of course not, dude.
00:36:50Sean's mom is a cow, not a cooter.
00:36:54Take it back.
00:36:55Say you're sorry and take it back or get out of my car and we're not friends anymore.
00:36:58Jesus, dude.
00:36:59Don't be so sensitive.
00:37:01Say you're sorry.
00:37:02Alright, alright.
00:37:03I'm sorry.
00:37:04We can go somewhere else.
00:37:06I'm sorry.
00:37:09I'm sorry your mom is a cow.
00:37:10Noooo!
00:37:11So what are we doing at the mall?
00:37:12Only the skeezers hang out here.
00:37:13He's got a plan, obviously.
00:37:14Yeah, what?
00:37:15Just a plan.
00:37:16Shut the fuck up.
00:37:17Alright, so what's this plan here, you genius?
00:37:18It'll all make sense in a minute.
00:37:19Just keep your eyes built.
00:37:20What?
00:37:21Let's see.
00:37:22I see them all.
00:37:23There she is.
00:37:24What?
00:37:25All I see is Sally Beasley.
00:37:26Easy Beasley.
00:37:27I get it now.
00:37:28Yep, yep.
00:37:29I'm thinking the rock only works on virgins.
00:37:30Yeah, you idiot.
00:37:31Sally Beasley stuff with like half our class already.
00:37:32I think the point is to prove it won't work.
00:37:33Yeah.
00:37:34Yeah.
00:37:35Yeah.
00:37:36Yeah.
00:37:37Yeah.
00:37:38Yeah.
00:37:39Yeah.
00:37:40Yeah.
00:37:41Yeah.
00:37:42Yeah.
00:37:43Yeah.
00:37:44Yeah.
00:37:45Yeah.
00:37:46Yeah.
00:37:47Yeah.
00:37:48Yeah.
00:37:49Yeah.
00:37:50Yeah.
00:37:51Yeah.
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:53Yeah.
00:37:54Yeah.
00:37:55Yeah.
00:37:56Yeah.
00:37:57Yeah.
00:37:58Yeah.
00:37:59Yeah.
00:38:00Yeah.
00:38:01Yeah.
00:38:02Yeah.
00:38:03Yeah.
00:38:04Yeah.
00:38:05Yeah.
00:38:06Yeah.
00:38:07Yeah.
00:38:08Yeah.
00:38:09Yeah.
00:38:10Yeah.
00:38:11Yeah.
00:38:12Yeah.
00:38:13Hey.
00:38:14Easy Bird.
00:38:15Sally.
00:38:16I know you.
00:38:17We go to school together.
00:38:18Brian Wilson.
00:38:19Right.
00:38:20Right.
00:38:21I was just wondering if um, you're feeling what I'm feeling.
00:38:24Like that stomach flu thing going around?
00:38:26No, not the stomach fluke.
00:38:29You must be Billy Godfrey's brother.
00:38:33No, I do.
00:38:35Yeah, you are.
00:38:36And recognize that bone structure anywhere.
00:38:40Only you're even cuter.
00:38:43I think we had learned all we need to know, guys.
00:38:48Come on.
00:38:49Just kidding.
00:38:50Thanks a lot, Sally.
00:38:52Whatever.
00:38:53You guys are weird.
00:38:55Dude, can you believe this?
00:38:57I mean, holy shit.
00:38:58I know, man.
00:38:59Sally likes me.
00:39:00No, ass clown.
00:39:01Fucking virgins.
00:39:03Hey, Brian, didn't you say before when Sumner got the stone that you said she looked hot?
00:39:10Yeah, well, why are you bringing that up?
00:39:13Well, I mean, you said before that while you were on vacation you bagged no fewer than two hotties.
00:39:18Hey, you guys know I always had a thing for Sumner.
00:39:21I mean, I always thought she was really sexy.
00:39:23Kind of like a tilf.
00:39:25Try a gilf, maybe.
00:39:26Virgin.
00:39:27Whatever, dickwad.
00:39:30The point is, it was no different for me yesterday with Sumner.
00:39:37Why?
00:39:38Did you think she was hot just because of the stone?
00:39:40You fucking virgin.
00:39:41Well, hey, first off, this is about you, Wilson.
00:39:44Second off, you all know I had Nancy Mullen upstairs at that party last year on Halloween.
00:39:53Oh, my God.
00:39:57Fucking Mike.
00:39:58Justin Peterson!
00:39:59I thought you were Mike!
00:40:00Oh, shit.
00:40:01He's a skeleton, too.
00:40:02So fucking gross!
00:40:03I can be Mike!
00:40:04Mike's a dick!
00:40:05Yeah, conveniently on the night she left town, so we could never confirm the hit.
00:40:07Oh, whatever.
00:40:08You know she was digging on my boner.
00:40:09Yeah, whatever.
00:40:10Jesus.
00:40:11Wait, anyway, what are you talking about, virgin?
00:40:12Oh, yeah.
00:40:13Don't bother with him.
00:40:14He's not gonna understand.
00:40:15Hey, son.
00:40:16on the night she left town so we could never confirm the hit oh whatever you
00:40:20know she was digging on my boner haha yeah whatever she's well wait anyway
00:40:26what are you talking about virgin oh yeah don't bother with him he's not gonna
00:40:33understand hey son hey how was school today and don't say it sucked it was okay are you guys okay
00:40:52everything's good real good all right I'm gonna be in my room
00:41:00yeah man I'm sitting down what's up so where would you find the highest concentration of
00:41:22virgins this side of the known universe I don't know sitting right behind your computer
00:41:27huh very funny but no remember that girl uh that I challenged to that hot dog eating contest in my
00:41:36pants the one who slapped me yeah dude that was hilarious and then you uh yeah where did she go
00:41:41to school yeah remember we stalked her that one time yeah yeah I remember it was it was like
00:41:47saint saint something saint agnes catholic school for girls hey hey so um where's your new boyfriends
00:42:01ryan and and dork with the glasses haven't seen them tell you what if you ever ever embarrass me like
00:42:11that again oh you're hurting me no you're only hurting yourself what are you looking at
00:42:23where did you guys find this place sure as hell didn't find it in a fucking library it'll be fun let's do this
00:42:39shit man they found security
00:43:06shit man well if you were interested in preserving the hymens of 500 girls
00:43:11shh what do you mean hey shut up let's just go
00:43:14shut up let's just go
00:43:15let's just go
00:43:17okay
00:43:19okay
00:43:21okay
00:43:23okay
00:43:25okay
00:43:29okay
00:43:31okay
00:43:33okay
00:43:35okay
00:43:48okay
00:43:52okay
00:43:54okay
00:43:58okay
00:44:00okay
00:44:02okay
00:44:04okay
00:44:27okay
00:44:29okay
00:44:39okay
00:44:41okay
00:44:45okay
00:44:47okay
00:44:49okay
00:44:51okay
00:45:02okay
00:45:04okay
00:45:08okay
00:45:10okay
00:45:14okay
00:45:16okay
00:45:29okay
00:45:33okay
00:45:35okay
00:45:37okay
00:45:39okay
00:45:41okay
00:45:54okay
00:45:58okay
00:46:00okay
00:46:04okay
00:46:06okay
00:46:08okay
00:46:10okay
00:46:21okay
00:46:23i was way too close to you
00:46:25how'd you get away?
00:46:27i punched him man
00:46:29i punched him man
00:46:31yeah
00:46:33okay
00:46:43okay
00:46:45okay
00:46:49okay
00:46:51okay
00:46:53okay
00:46:55okay
00:46:56so are we still going to dinner tonight?
00:47:00oh why's that
00:47:04hey
00:47:06how are you?
00:47:08good how are you?
00:47:12call me
00:47:14okay
00:47:17m
00:47:27okay
00:47:29okay
00:47:31okay
00:47:33okay
00:47:35okay
00:47:37okay
00:48:09Thank you for 20 minutes.
00:48:3420 minutes?
00:48:35Yeah.
00:48:36You mean we lost them?
00:48:37Unless we scared them off.
00:48:38Man.
00:48:39Ow.
00:48:40What the?
00:48:45I can explain?
00:48:48Shit man.
00:48:58Where's Justin?
00:48:59He's trapped behind any lines.
00:49:00He stopped.
00:49:01Let's get out of here.
00:49:06You mean you have no library card, no ID, no nothing?
00:49:10No, I lost it all at mass.
00:49:17I'm going out to look for the others.
00:49:19Good idea.
00:49:20Okay.
00:49:21Jim, I think we can handle it from here.
00:49:24Why don't you go ahead and join?
00:49:26Well, he's not armed, but...
00:49:28Jim, please.
00:49:30God will protect us.
00:49:31Okay, sister.
00:49:32You're the boss.
00:49:33Look, sisters, I know I'm a really good kid, it's just I don't...
00:49:45Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:49:52My blessed son.
00:49:55My hot, hot son.
00:49:58Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:50:00Sister Pat, I can't believe you acting like a whore of Babylon.
00:50:12Don't you sister me, sister.
00:50:14I saw you in that pornographic tongue of yours.
00:50:17Okay, so where are you now?
00:50:31Are you okay, dude?
00:50:32You sound a little weird.
00:50:34Okay.
00:50:35Okay, bye.
00:50:36So what's the dealio, man?
00:50:37Dude, he got away.
00:50:39Thank God.
00:50:40Alright, well, turn this piece of shit around.
00:50:47Alright, so you at least saved the rock, right?
00:50:58Yeah.
00:50:59Yeah.
00:51:00I'd rather have nothing to do with it right now.
00:51:03Dude, what's wrong with him?
00:51:05Maybe we should take him to the hospital or something.
00:51:07No, dude, it's just gonna freak him out.
00:51:09And they'll call his parents.
00:51:10Just shut the fuck up.
00:51:11Are you sure you can't remember anything after the guards left the room, man?
00:51:15I don't wanna talk about it.
00:51:22I can't believe we cut all day of school, we're sober, and we struck out.
00:51:29Dude, you gotta look at it this way.
00:51:30We still have a magic rock that can get us laid whenever we want.
00:51:34Yeah, all it's got me so far is punched in the face.
00:51:36Yeah, and I'm like scarred for life.
00:51:38That's it, dude.
00:51:40What happened back there?
00:51:41I said I don't wanna talk about it.
00:51:43Alright.
00:51:44The point is, we've had that rock for like, three days, and we haven't done dick with
00:51:48it.
00:51:49Yeah, he's right, man.
00:51:50He never even let me touch it.
00:51:51That's what she said.
00:51:52Cut the jokes, Wilson.
00:51:54We just wanna get laid.
00:51:56Like any guys in our position would.
00:51:58Yeah.
00:51:59Alright, the Catholic school thing was your idea.
00:52:03That's not the point.
00:52:04The point is, I've never gotten laid, ever.
00:52:09Alright?
00:52:10There, I said it.
00:52:11And society puts a lot of pressure on a guy like me who won't feel normal until he earns
00:52:15the right to say, sure, I had sex.
00:52:18So what?
00:52:19Well, there's always Cindy's party tonight.
00:52:23We sort of got invited.
00:52:25I say we get in there and tap some hot cheerleader ass before the magic is gone.
00:52:31Now he is speaking my language.
00:52:33Alright, alright, alright.
00:52:34I'm gonna bring the rock tonight.
00:52:35Are you happy?
00:52:36I don't see how this is my fault though.
00:52:41Woo!
00:52:54Dad!
00:52:55Never mind.
00:52:56Nothing, never mind.
00:52:57What kind of snow in there?
00:53:07Rabies?
00:53:08Who has rabies?
00:53:10Scurvy?
00:53:11Or is he a pirate?
00:53:17Jackpot!
00:53:27No, don't come in.
00:53:28I'm not decent.
00:53:32Got a minute?
00:53:33Yeah, sure.
00:53:34No, don't come in, I'm not decent.
00:53:47Got a minute?
00:53:48Yeah, sure.
00:53:53Before you go out wherever you're going to go tonight, I wanted to talk to you about your mom and me.
00:54:00I guess you figured out by now that the tension is pretty thick around here.
00:54:08Yeah, a little bit.
00:54:10This is the part of the conversation where the dad manual says I'm supposed to tell you how everything's going to be alright and how you shouldn't worry.
00:54:21But you're not a kid anymore.
00:54:24You deserve better than that.
00:54:25The truth is, your mom and me, we've been talking and I just don't know how it's going to turn out.
00:54:38But you still love her, right?
00:54:40Yeah, yeah, of course I love her. I love your mom.
00:54:45Your mom is a wonderful woman.
00:54:46She's a beautiful woman.
00:54:52I probably should have told her that more often than I did.
00:54:57But this marriage, it's like the old song.
00:55:05The thrill is gone.
00:55:07Listen, no matter what happens, you know that your mom and I, both, we love you very much.
00:55:21Yeah, sure.
00:55:23Alright.
00:55:27Thanks for being so straight with me, Dad.
00:55:31Anytime, buddy.
00:55:32Ryan, your mom is right.
00:55:40That guinea pig cage, this room does smell like pee.
00:55:44You must know, I got grounded when I, for what I said to Sumner.
00:56:11What exactly did you say to her?
00:56:12I asked her if she wanted to go down on me and suck my dick and finger my butt for it, okay?
00:56:18Jesus, dude.
00:56:20Yeah, I mean, I've always wanted it done, so.
00:56:24With Sumner?
00:56:26Oh, no, dude.
00:56:27Like, in general.
00:56:29Alright, that's what I thought, because that bitch has big hands.
00:56:35Look at this guy.
00:56:36What are you doing today?
00:56:46Yeah, get off that car, you're gonna scratch it.
00:56:48Where's your van?
00:56:50This is my car.
00:56:52Bullshit.
00:56:53Yeah, okay, I see a bunch of keys, but...
00:56:54That doesn't mean you're, just, get in.
00:56:58What the fuck, where'd you get this?
00:57:02You remember the, uh, money I got from the massage parlor?
00:57:06No way, dude.
00:57:07Yeah.
00:57:07Oh, alright, so you can go out and buy a car and you can't give me $65?
00:57:12Come on, man.
00:57:13Let's go.
00:57:14Let's go, come on.
00:57:18Okay.
00:57:19Hold on.
00:57:25That is so sexy.
00:57:36I'm jealous.
00:57:37How are we not gonna get laid in this thing?
00:57:38I mean, we will get laid in this thing.
00:57:40But anyways, anyways, who's got something to drink?
00:57:42Because, uh, I got nothing and I need something, please.
00:57:46Well, um, I got these, uh, wine coolers.
00:57:49My mom used to drink them before my dad left.
00:57:52Mm-hmm.
00:57:53Well, maybe that's why he left.
00:57:57Dude, dude, don't get it all in my car, man.
00:58:01Well, what do you have?
00:58:02I got pills.
00:58:04I think they're prescriptions.
00:58:06Alright, prescriptions?
00:58:08Yeah.
00:58:08Here, hold this.
00:58:10Ah, dude, come on.
00:58:11What is this brown stuff in here?
00:58:15It's, uh, hedgehog shit, but you're gonna-
00:58:16Oh, dude, what?
00:58:18Let me-
00:58:18Alright, it's not even that important.
00:58:21Let's just dig in.
00:58:22Oh, my gosh.
00:58:25That's pussy shit.
00:58:26That is pussy shit.
00:58:27Okay, man.
00:58:28Well, no one wants to eat your little shit medicine.
00:58:34Let's just-
00:58:35How's that taste?
00:58:37Terrible?
00:58:41Okay, come on.
00:58:48Alright, we good?
00:58:50Yeah, we good.
00:58:54The fuck are you doing?
00:58:57Dancing, man.
00:58:57What does it look like?
00:58:58It looks like you're having a goddamn seizure.
00:59:00It's what it looks like.
00:59:01Okay, okay, man.
00:59:02Just give me the rock so I can get some cock.
00:59:05Did you say what I think you said?
00:59:07I mean, so I can give her some cock.
00:59:11Alright, that's what I thought.
00:59:12Alright, you're gonna go in there.
00:59:14You're gonna find the first girl you want, alright?
00:59:15Otherwise, you're gonna have honeys all over you, right?
00:59:17You wanna be careful,
00:59:18otherwise we're gonna score a big fat zero on this.
00:59:21You got it?
00:59:21I got it.
00:59:23Alright.
00:59:23Okay.
00:59:26What the fuck are you doing?
00:59:29It's cologne, man.
00:59:30I wanna smell nice for the ladies.
00:59:33Would you just get your ass in there, alright?
00:59:34And make sure you come back
00:59:35as soon as you're done taking care of business
00:59:37so we can have a turn.
00:59:38Okay.
00:59:39If you so much as look at Amber,
00:59:41I'll fucking kill you.
00:59:42You got it?
00:59:43Okay, man.
00:59:44Does my hair look good or...?
00:59:46It looks terrible.
00:59:47The fuck does it matter?
00:59:48It's a sure goddamn thing.
00:59:50Get your ass in there already.
00:59:53Okay, man.
00:59:53Wish me luck.
00:59:55Good luck.
00:59:56He is so fucked.
01:00:03Woo!
01:00:05Which means we're fucked.
01:00:07Why the fuck did we give him the rock in the first place?
01:00:10We just screwed ourselves.
01:00:12Oh my fucking God, dude.
01:00:17Do you want some drinks downstairs
01:00:18if you want to go grab some?
01:00:20Do you want more?
01:00:21I'll be right there.
01:00:22Hey, who are you?
01:00:24Some manners.
01:00:25Hey, Sean, right?
01:00:32Yeah, Tammy from Geometry.
01:00:35Yeah, did you just get here?
01:00:36Uh, uh, uh...
01:00:39Sean?
01:00:39Are you okay?
01:00:44You disgusting creep.
01:00:47Wait, you're not a virgin?
01:00:50Why, never!
01:00:51Ah!
01:00:52What business is it of yours anyways?
01:00:54You have a lot of nerve, assholes.
01:00:59And if you ever tell anyone
01:01:00that we fucking met Wade at the carnival,
01:01:02I'll fucking kill you.
01:01:08Bitches be crazy, right?
01:01:09Hey, handsome.
01:01:31Oh, hey, Sally.
01:01:34You, uh, here with someone, or...
01:01:37I'm here with you.
01:01:41You know, there's a back room with a sofa.
01:01:45Are you drunk?
01:01:47Because I could...
01:01:49No, follow me.
01:01:50No, follow me.
01:02:03Is this okay?
01:02:05Oh, yeah.
01:02:06It's nice.
01:02:09Do you come here a lot, or...?
01:02:11Have you been here, before?
01:02:18Uh...
01:02:19Uh, uh, Sally?
01:02:24Um, can I ask you a question?
01:02:28Sure.
01:02:29Um, you've done this...
01:02:33I've never done this before.
01:02:37So why me?
01:02:42You seem nice.
01:02:44The opposite of most of the guys I've been with.
01:02:48It turns out most guys really are pigs.
01:02:56Oh, I'm not a pig, am I?
01:03:01If you're asking the question because
01:03:04you think that you might be one,
01:03:07it means you have a conscience,
01:03:09and therefore, no,
01:03:13you definitely are not a pig.
01:03:16Well, that's...
01:03:17That's good to know.
01:03:23What do you think...
01:03:23Who do you think he's doing in there?
01:03:27I don't know, man.
01:03:28I swear to God,
01:03:29if he loses that rock,
01:03:30or gets caught or something...
01:03:32Dude, you're freaking out, right?
01:03:34Chill.
01:03:34It'll be all right.
01:03:35It shouldn't take him more than 10 seconds.
01:03:36He should be out of here by now.
01:03:37Maybe he's doubling up.
01:03:41All right, it's 10.40.
01:03:42I'm going in.
01:03:44Let's do this.
01:03:46Let's do this.
01:04:16Come on!
01:04:18Go!
01:04:20Go!
01:04:22Come on, come on!
01:04:24Oh, you suck!
01:04:36I am so fucking twisted. This stuff is so amazing.
01:04:41Save some for me.
01:04:46Finish your game now, faggot.
01:04:49What the fuck?
01:04:50Girl, I can't believe she's not here yet.
01:04:54I know, can you believe what she did with him?
01:04:56He's not her home right now.
01:04:58Let's talk about a slut in your eyes.
01:05:00Oh my god.
01:05:02Oh my god.
01:05:03Sorry about that.
01:05:07Where'd you get that ball?
01:05:14Man, it's a fucking football.
01:05:16It's a shit sport.
01:05:18Come on, come on, make these shots.
01:05:21Bitch.
01:05:22All right, move it.
01:05:24Oh, there she is.
01:05:27Oh.
01:05:28Bitch.
01:05:29I guess you should say all.
01:05:30Come out of quarter now.
01:05:31Hey, we need a replacement.
01:05:33Anybody?
01:05:34Hey, Justin.
01:05:35Come on.
01:05:36Come on.
01:05:37Me?
01:05:38Come on, Peterson.
01:05:39Are you a pussy?
01:05:40Fuck.
01:05:41Yeah, let's do this.
01:05:42Come on.
01:05:43Get up.
01:05:44Come on.
01:05:49Oh, you suck.
01:05:50You suck.
01:05:51No.
01:05:52Come on, come on.
01:05:53Somebody's lost in the muscle sauce trying to play ketchup.
01:05:56Hey, Amber.
01:05:57Hey.
01:05:58Hey.
01:05:59This is an awesome party.
01:06:00Yeah.
01:06:01So Cindy's parents don't mind about all this?
01:06:03No.
01:06:04They're in Barbados.
01:06:05That's awesome.
01:06:06Yeah.
01:06:07I was wondering, have you seen Sean around anywhere?
01:06:10No.
01:06:11Sean outside the park.
01:06:12Yeah, I looked outside, but what about upstairs?
01:06:15In the bedrooms?
01:06:17Yeah.
01:06:18All I know is I haven't seen him.
01:06:20Oh, okay.
01:06:21Um, listen, I was wondering, maybe sometime you wanted to go out to like dinner and a movie
01:06:25maybe?
01:06:26Hi.
01:06:27Hello.
01:06:29But, um, you know, I'm kind of seeing that weight right now, so...
01:06:32Yeah, I know, but I'm gonna definitely see you later, okay?
01:06:35Okay.
01:06:36Well, uh, I'm going to go freshen up a bit and...
01:06:51I'll come find you.
01:06:53Okay.
01:07:06Amber, Amber, come here.
01:07:08I want to show you something.
01:07:09Come here.
01:07:10Do you want to go upstairs?
01:07:12Sure.
01:07:13Alright, come here.
01:07:14Oh!
01:07:15Oh!
01:07:16Oh!
01:07:17Oh!
01:07:18Oh!
01:07:19Yeah!
01:07:20Let's go, baby!
01:07:21Come on, take a little sip.
01:07:22Alright, alright, alright.
01:07:23Oh!
01:07:24Oh!
01:07:25Oh!
01:07:26Oh!
01:07:27Oh!
01:07:28Oh!
01:07:29Oh!
01:07:30Oh!
01:07:31Oh!
01:07:32Oh!
01:07:33Oh!
01:07:34Oh!
01:07:35Oh!
01:07:36Oh!
01:07:37Oh!
01:07:38Oh!
01:07:39Oh!
01:07:40Oh!
01:07:41Oh!
01:07:42Oh!
01:07:43Oh my God!
01:07:44Oh my God!
01:07:45Drake!
01:07:49Drake!
01:07:52Drake!
01:07:59Oh my god, this is awesome!
01:08:06Oh my god!
01:08:08Oh my god!
01:08:10You mother fack...
01:08:12I had my grandmother getting this shirt.
01:08:14That's what I'm gonna do.
01:08:16Oh my god!
01:08:18Oh my god!
01:08:20Get the fuck out of here!
01:08:22Oh my god dude.
01:08:24Alright, alright, alright, tell me. Was it really wet?
01:08:26Yeah, and hot.
01:08:28But like, the good hot.
01:08:30Oh my god, that was amazing.
01:08:32You know, right?
01:08:34Oh, about Easy Beasley? Yeah, everybody knows about that.
01:08:37I'm talking about Diaz almost getting his mouth all over your dips, dude.
01:08:40I heard you got some of that cock you were talking about earlier.
01:08:43Oh, stud muffin.
01:08:45Tell me, was she amazing?
01:08:47Yeah man, she was amazing.
01:08:49Alright, well you have to tell me all about it later, but for now, please, give me the rock.
01:08:53I don't think it's such a good idea, dude.
01:08:56What are you talking about? Are you fucking crazy?
01:08:59Yeah, fair is fair.
01:09:00Give me the goddamn rock.
01:09:01I couldn't do it, alright? I pushed it out.
01:09:03Bullshit.
01:09:04You expect us to believe that you didn't get with the finest piece of ass that goes to our high school?
01:09:08Look, dude, this is so wrong, alright?
01:09:10These girls think that we're untouchables, alright?
01:09:13They don't even like us.
01:09:14The only reason why they want to have sex with us is because of this fucking rock.
01:09:17It's like date rape.
01:09:18It's sick.
01:09:19Are you fucking crazy?
01:09:22What, all of a sudden you're a fucking saint?
01:09:24Look, just because you can't take advantage of the best thing that's ever happened to guys, ever,
01:09:28doesn't mean I feel the same way.
01:09:30You and Sean had your chance.
01:09:32Now, give me the fucking rock.
01:09:33It's my turn.
01:09:34I'm not giving it to you, man.
01:09:37Give me the fucking rock.
01:09:38Get out of here, dude.
01:09:39I'm not giving you the rock.
01:09:40Don't give me the rock.
01:09:41You're fucking dead, alright?
01:09:42You're fucking dead.
01:09:43Hey, well then you're just gonna take it from me, man.
01:09:48Give me the fucking rock.
01:09:49Give it up, man.
01:09:50What's wrong with you?
01:09:52Get me out of here.
01:09:53Get the fucking rock.
01:09:56Get out of here.
01:09:57Fucking asshole.
01:09:59Fuck your shit.
01:10:00Hey, you and me, upstairs.
01:10:12Let's go.
01:10:21It's weird, you know, man.
01:10:23You and Justin have been friends since, like, forever.
01:10:28Yeah, we didn't know Diaz was a gay virgin either, did we?
01:10:31Heh.
01:10:33No.
01:10:37I think my parents are getting a divorce, man.
01:10:39Shit, man.
01:10:42I'm sorry.
01:10:44What are you gonna do?
01:10:45Fucking rock bag, stupid pussy.
01:10:48Justin, where you going, man?
01:10:50Ryan's...
01:10:53What are we gonna do about the rock?
01:10:55I'll take care of it, dude.
01:10:56What are you gonna do with that?
01:10:57What are you gonna do with that?
01:10:58I said I'll take care of it.
01:11:01Fuck.
01:11:02I'll take care of it, dude.
01:11:03What are you gonna do with that?
01:11:04I said I'll take care of it.
01:11:27Hey.
01:11:28Ryan.
01:11:29Ryan.
01:11:30How did you find me here?
01:11:31We've been best friends since we were seven, dude.
01:11:34You run when you're mad.
01:11:36What the fuck do you want?
01:11:42How'd you find me here?
01:11:44We've been best friends since we were seven, dude.
01:11:47You run when you're mad.
01:11:49What the fuck do you want?
01:11:52I just wanna say I'm sorry, dude.
01:11:55I mean, last night, this whole thing with the rock, it's just...
01:12:00I don't wanna lose my best friend, right?
01:12:03Hey, who sounds like the pussy now, huh?
01:12:06I guess I resemble that remark a little.
01:12:09A little like your baby Peterson?
01:12:11Fuck off, dude.
01:12:13Fuck off, dude.
01:12:15Yeah, I guess we're cool.
01:12:17Good.
01:12:18I just wanna tell you this new plan about us getting laid.
01:12:22Do I wanna hear this?
01:12:24Swingers clubs, dude.
01:12:26Alright, we pay 50 bucks and these wives just like split up with their husbands for us.
01:12:30Where do you get these ideas?
01:12:32Where do I get all my ideas?
01:12:33They just come to me.
01:12:35Right.
01:12:37Yeah, I bet.
01:12:38Alright, man.
01:12:39You good?
01:12:41What did you do with the rock, anyway?
01:12:45I figured we'd use it one last time.
01:12:47I gave it to the two people who need it way more than we do.
01:12:50Awesome.
01:12:51Awesome.
01:12:52Yeah.
01:12:53Well, that was some movie.
01:12:57I've seen better.
01:13:00I've done it for you.
01:13:01You know, explosions, little car chases.
01:13:02Oh, please.
01:13:03I had fun.
01:13:04It was romantic.
01:13:05I loved it.
01:13:06Oh, okay.
01:13:07Hey there, stud.
01:13:08We're gonna do it for you.
01:13:09Oh.
01:13:10Oh.
01:13:11Oh.
01:13:12Oh.
01:13:13Oh.
01:13:14Oh.
01:13:15Oh.
01:13:16No, no.
01:13:17Oh.
01:13:23Oh, oh, oh.
01:13:24Oh, oh.
01:13:25Oh, oh.
01:13:26Oh.
01:13:27Oh.
01:13:28What is this?
01:13:29What's going on?
01:13:30Ladies, can you give your hands up?
01:13:31My sister?
01:13:34No!
01:13:35Girls!
01:13:36Ladies!
01:13:38Let me make something clear.
01:13:39He may not be perfect.
01:13:41We may argue from time to time.
01:13:44I may not always give him all the attention he deserves,
01:13:47but this is my man,
01:13:48and nobody's allowed to put their hands on him anywhere
01:13:52or take him home and make love to him except me.
01:13:56Now, get out!
01:14:00Come on, baby.
01:14:17Oh, Daddy.
01:14:19Oh, Daddy.
01:14:21Come here, tiger.
01:14:24Give me some of that jiggy boo, baby.
01:14:26You are hot!
01:14:32Come on!
01:14:38Well, Amber, I'm sorry that you can't acknowledge
01:14:40that Change Order is the greatest movie of all time.
01:14:42No, I am being serious.
01:14:48I can't hear you.
01:14:49It's my parents.
01:14:51Anyways, are you going to Haley's party?
01:14:55No, I heard it's supposed to be great,
01:14:56and I think they're getting a keg,
01:14:57and I was thinking that maybe we could,
01:14:59I don't know, go together.
01:15:00Okay.
01:15:01Yeah?
01:15:01Are you sure you want to do this?
01:15:26Yeah, I'm sure, man.
01:15:27What are we doing up here, anyway?
01:15:30It's a long story.
01:15:31And believe me,
01:15:32if I told you,
01:15:33you wouldn't believe me.
01:15:37What's with the rock?
01:15:38Uh,
01:15:39found on Mr. Rosenbaum's field trip.
01:15:41It's a fetish.
01:15:43You mean, like,
01:15:44when you get off from being choked during sex?
01:15:47Well, that's enough talk,
01:15:48let's just throw it.
01:15:50Can I throw it?
01:15:52Yeah, sure.
01:15:53Oh, my God, I tell you.
01:15:59I never told you that you are
01:16:00the hottest girl ever.
01:16:02The most amazing girl
01:16:03ever seen.
01:16:05No, but thanks.
01:16:06Hey, I'd throw that thing
01:16:07if I were you.
01:16:08Okay.
01:16:17You never did it.
01:16:20I couldn't after what you said.
01:16:22It made me guilty.
01:16:23I got a whiskey dick.
01:16:25You mean,
01:16:26neither of you two guys
01:16:28actually did anything?
01:16:29What are we talking about?
01:16:31What's going on?
01:16:31Nothing.
01:16:33And when it comes to these two versions,
01:16:35I mean nothing.
01:16:37Hey, come on, let's go.
01:16:42Well, I guess that's that.
01:16:43Yeah.
01:16:44Well,
01:16:45who needs magical powers anyway
01:16:46when you're all that?
01:16:48I mean, right, yeah.
01:16:49We'll get laid when the time is right.
01:16:50Yeah.
01:16:50So, tell me about the swingers thing.
01:16:53Oh, yeah.
01:16:53It's advertised online.
01:16:55These married chicks, right?
01:16:56They swap partners and stuff.
01:16:59Wait, wait, wait.
01:16:59How old are they?
01:17:00I'm pretty sure they wouldn't
01:17:01appreciate us asking that,
01:17:03but anyway, these...
01:17:04It's married.
01:17:05We're time for now!
01:17:06Okay?
01:17:06Bye!
01:17:07Bye!
01:17:07Bye!
01:17:07Bye!
01:17:07Bye!
01:17:33Bye!
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