EXCLUSIVE YALL

articanonymous

2 days ago

A video uploaded by Shoe0nHead on (2009-02-01)

Transcript

00:00If there was one celebrity you could punch in the face, who would it be?

00:07My choice...

00:09Batman right there.

00:11Jay-Z.

00:13Why?

00:14Cause he's...

00:15Look, look, look, look at the blitz, let's...

00:17One, he's totally cocky about what...

00:20First of all, he's ugly, he's talentless, like...

00:23Every song he makes, he references B.I.G.

00:26Alright, okay, we get it. The fat guy died. Christopher Wallace, he's dead. He's gone.

00:29Okay, Notorious Suck.

00:31Give me a movie.

00:32It wasn't even number five in the box office the first two weeks.

00:35Did you see it?

00:37Why would I be a statistic to...

00:39They saw.

00:41No, they didn't see enough. Look, look at those lips.

00:44Those lips could suck up the ocean.

00:47You're horrible.

00:49Okay, that used the entire Cottonelle factory.

00:52Now look at the glass, like, who do you think...

00:54You article, you bring the style back? The scarf?

00:57Yeah, okay, whatever, guy.

00:59Ira Banks.

01:00Ira Banks is fat.

01:01Um...

01:02Isn't that...

01:03Who's that other guy that looks exactly like Jake Gyllenhaal?

01:06There's two guys. I think his name's like Tony or something.

01:09What are you talking about?

01:10There's Jake Gyllenhaal, where is he?

01:12He turned the page.

01:13Okay, he bulked up for Prince of Persia.

01:15Wait, is that the guy who...

01:17He's dating Reese Witherspoon.

01:19Wait, is he Spider-Man?

01:21No, that's Tobey Maguire.

01:23They look the same!

01:24They do not.

01:25They definitely do.

01:26They do not.

01:27They look nothing alike.

01:29But he is in the Prince of Persia.

01:31Are you kidding me?

01:32They both have, like...

01:33Look.

01:34I can't do it.

01:35Am I gonna have to say Prince of Persia one more time?

01:36Why are you turning into Payne?

01:37Prince of Persia.

01:38Prince of Persia.

01:39Throw it out one more time.

01:40Okay, so Mark Wahl, but Prince of Persia.

01:41Max Payne.

01:42Alright, I heard that wasn't too good.

01:43The highlight of the movie, haven't watched it yet, but I'm assuming is Mila Kunis.

01:46Of course.

01:47You know she plays Warcraft?

01:49She plays Warcraft.

01:50That's because she's Mila Kunis.

01:52But she plays Warcraft.

01:53Yeah.

01:54Like, she legit plays that game.

01:56That's because...

01:57I was reading it.

01:58I'm a level whatever...

02:00Dwarfer.

02:01Oh, Calissa's having a baby.

02:03Fantastic.

02:04Milkshake.

02:05What is that?

02:06I can't even...

02:09Oh.

02:10Oh.

02:11Don't even.

02:13My beautiful face.

02:14Oh, Josh Douche Hamill.

02:17Yeah, yeah.

02:18Josh Douche Hamill.

02:19And let's...

02:20Let's discuss Lohan.

02:22No, I think we should have a totally separate vlog for that.

02:25Some people think that this is just a whole joke of her and, like, Samantha Ronson, but

02:29I don't...

02:30I don't know.

02:31I'm saying that it's real.

02:32I mean, the video is forever.

02:33Like, would you really keep up...

02:34Yeah, would you keep the joke up for, like, okay, it's funny after, like, a couple months

02:37or so, but I mean...

02:38Would you risk your...

02:39She looks disgusting in that picture.

02:41I'm sorry.

02:42I think they're the most interesting thing thus far.

02:44Like, really, I'm not...

02:45I'm not too interested on Fergie's wedding.

02:47Oh, Rene's all wicked.

02:49Flip it.

02:50Flip it.

02:51Flip it.

02:52Flip it.

02:53Wait, is this...

02:54Done.

02:55Olivia Wilde for me.

02:56I don't know who she is, so...

02:57Okay, let's...

02:58That is Olivia Wilde.

02:59Apparently she's on House.

03:01I don't remember her on House.

03:04Okay.

03:05Olivia Wilde.

03:06Let's go back to front this that I know her.

03:08We're gonna go to The O.C. Season 3.

03:12I'm not exactly sure what year it was.

03:14Season 3, she dated Marissa, who was played by, of course, Misha Barton, the cellulite

03:19queen.

03:20I mean...

03:21I like...

03:22Can we go back to that, actually?

03:23Let's see what she was nominated for.

03:24Sometimes I wish I had blue eyes, because dark hair and blue eyes always look so cool.

03:28Oh, well, she has blonde hair, but I mean, yeah, if you have black hair and blue eyes...

03:31Yeah, she does.

03:32That's pretty hot.

03:33Amy Winehouse, let's skip that.

03:34She really takes up a quarter.

03:35Amy Winehouse is definitely an A.

03:37Amy Winehouse, she's hiding in there.

03:38That's what she's hiding in there.

03:39She takes up less pages than the text does.

03:42Oh, God.

03:43One sentence takes up less than she does.

03:46She's hiding her real head in there.

03:48Fair enough.

03:49Oh, God.

03:50You felt these underwear and Spencers in it.

03:52Totally.

03:53Look, it's Maggie Gyllenhaal.

03:54Owen Wilson.

03:55I'm really not a fan.

03:57Yeah, he's better than Luke Wilson, but their style is kind of the same.

04:00I like them both, I think.

04:02Well, Wedding Crashers versus old school.

04:05I mean, Will Ferrell.

04:07Yeah, man.

04:08Okay.

04:09I don't like Vince Vaughn.

04:11I'm sorry.

04:12I don't like Vince Vaughn.

04:13Okay, granted, he's very similar most of the time.

04:16I like his face.

04:17I'm freaking hot.

04:18Why are you yelling at me?

04:20Make me a bike, clown!

04:22I'm going to make a bike.

04:23Oh, that's what you're talking about.

04:24I'm going to make a bike.

04:25She's in Disturbia.

04:26Disturbia!

04:27I don't know the words.

04:29I hate Chris Vaughn.

04:31His head is freaking huge.

04:32No, I mean, he's pretty.

04:34What are you talking about?

04:36I'm fine.

04:37His head's huge.

04:38Okay.

04:39Kim Kardashian's butt face.

04:40I don't...

04:41She has no personality.

04:43She's like...

04:44Who cares about her?

04:46What is she even famous for?

04:48Like, oh, you should know who these people are, but I mean, like, really, why are you obsessing

04:51all these people like TMZ?

04:52Who cares about Kim Kardashian?

04:53Okay, her ass is fucking disgusting.

04:54Her head looks...

04:55She looks like an ant with hair.

04:56Like, you know the ant from, uh, Bug's Life?

04:57You know the princess ant?

04:58That's what she looks like.

04:59Look at this.

05:00Just...

05:01Holy crap.

05:02You've never had a sandwich like this before.

05:03Get out of here.

05:04Handsome.

05:05Sad.

05:06Any of you saw a movie, you know what I'm talking about.

05:07Alright.

05:08Did you see Sex and the City?

05:09You didn't see it?

05:10No.

05:11I saw it twice.

05:12I didn't want to see it.

05:13Sarah Jessica Parker and her mole.

05:14Face, hot body.

05:15What's up with that?

05:16Mmm.

05:17My husband cheated on her.

05:18She might be, like, funky looking, but man, I wouldn't cheat on her.

05:21Stupid.

05:22Matthew Broderick?

05:23Ferris Bueller?

05:24Oh.

05:25Oh.

05:26Oh.

05:27Oh.

05:28Oh.

05:29Oh.

05:30Oh.

05:31Oh.

05:32Oh.

05:33Oh.

05:34Oh.

05:35Oh.

05:36Oh.

05:37Oh.

05:38Oh.

05:39Oh.

05:40Oh.

05:41Oh.

05:42Oh.

05:43Oh.

05:44I hate him.

05:45Ferris Bueller's nail off?

05:46I hate Matthew Broderick.

05:47He was in Inspector Gadget.

05:48Yes, he was.

05:49I loved that movie when I was little.

05:50Oh my God.

05:51Oh.

05:52Oh.

05:53We're gonna get no views anyway.

05:54This is just fun to do.

05:55What?

05:56I don't want it.

05:57Racist.

05:58Mark Harmon.

05:59Peter, do you see a wheelchair under Mark Harmon?

06:04No.

06:05No, you do not.

06:06Because Mark Harmon is cool.

06:08First of all, like, ew.

06:12Like, ew.

06:13Like, when you see your bones, lady.

06:15Like a walking skeleton.

06:17No, it's right out of a Tim Burton movie.

06:21Alright.

06:22Tim Burton did not direct Coraline.

06:24But it reminds you of.

06:26Oh.

06:27That's just, like, bad, um, bad, like, commercialism.

06:31Like, the director of Nightmare for Christmas.

06:33Everyone's like-

06:34But he didn't direct Nightmare for Christmas.

06:36He created the idea of it and he, like, made the characters and everything.

06:40He didn't direct it.

06:41So people are like, gotta see Coraline.

06:44Okay.

06:45But he is making Alice in Wonderland.

06:47What?

06:48Wait a minute, wait.

06:49Freaking excited.

06:50Is it, like, real people or is it, like-

06:52Yeah.

06:53Anne Hathaway's gonna be in it.

06:54Oh!

06:55Wait, wait, wait, wait.

06:56Helen, Carter, of course.

06:57Helen Keller.

06:58I mean-

06:59Johnny Depp wasn't gonna be the frickin' rabbit?

07:01No, he's being the frickin', uh, Mad Hatter.

07:03Mad Hatter?

07:04I'm talking about the movie.

07:05Alice in Wonderland, I cannot- I didn't know that.

07:06I did not know that.

07:07I did not know that.

07:08He's my favorite director.

07:09Of course I'm going to know that.

07:10Joaquin.

07:11Ah!

07:12I've never seen Star Wars.

07:15Shut up!

07:17Yes!

07:18I've never seen Star Wars.

07:20You know what else I haven't seen?

07:21The Butterfly Effect.

07:22Okay, you know, I can understand Star Wars for some reason.

07:25Yeah.

07:26But the Butterfly Effect?

07:27I'm sorry.

07:28I've never seen it.

07:29I've never seen The Matrix, either.

07:31Star Wars, Butterfly Effect, Matrix.

07:34I don't really care about The Matrix.

07:36Honestly, I really don't care.

07:38Keanu Reeves can suck my non-existent penis.

07:41And then swallow my tongue.

07:44Ew!

07:45Ew, I wouldn't want that.

07:47It's too gross.

07:49Ew!

07:50Ew!

07:51There goes dinner!

07:55Lego Star Wars I played, and-

07:57I just know so much.

07:59I know that-

08:00That guy, Darth Vader, is Luke's father.

08:04And I know that his leg gets chopped off, and R2-D2's the robot, and Star Trooper's the golden guy.

08:12That's for all.

08:13For sure.

08:14But when you think about it in reality, they picked like one of the hottest people on Earth to play Meg.

08:18Again, Mila Kunis.

08:21You go apart.

08:22Excuse me, but do not take a sarcastic tone with me when we're speaking of Mila Kunis.

08:25She's cool, I have no problem with it.

08:26I think you should retract your statement and shut your mouth.

08:28Woo!

08:29Woo!

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