- 16 hours ago
Emmerdale - Monday 24 November 2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00This
00:29This is you, full bed and board, as promised.
00:35Oh, don't worry about that, I'll get you a fresh one.
00:39You all right there, Ted?
00:41You take as long as you need.
00:44A couple of hours at least.
00:47Where is she?
00:49Anne.
00:50Anya.
00:51Anya, sorry.
00:53She's gone to the mortuary, hasn't she?
00:55While we sort out the formalities.
00:57Is this the funeral?
00:59Yeah.
01:00You're going to do it properly and treat it with respect?
01:06Of course.
01:07Don't you worry about that, Ted.
01:09Leave it with me.
01:10And I'll see if I can contact the family.
01:14See if they want to send flowers or...
01:17No, and a wreath from me.
01:22You can take out my wages.
01:23Of course, mate.
01:28You finished the jam again?
01:29I just really like jam, innit?
01:31Yeah, I realise.
01:32So don't put the empty jam jar in the cupboard.
01:35Remember, there's a system, yeah?
01:37Yeah.
01:38Right, it's on the bath.
01:39Behind the fridge.
01:39Exactly.
01:40It's off coming.
01:41I've got your coffee and, er, this.
01:52Heart healthy.
01:54What's up?
01:55So, I know I gave you a hard time about the whole money thing, but now that you're flush
02:02again, you're going to treat yourself, right?
02:05What?
02:06Keep enough money back for you.
02:08You might need specialist care.
02:10I just, I want you to have the best of the best, which is why you should probably tell
02:15me your secret location, you know, cover all bases.
02:18I don't care about the money.
02:19Okay.
02:20Sorry, I'm just mega stressed.
02:25Oh, the robbery?
02:26No.
02:27No.
02:28It's home.
02:29Okay.
02:30Yeah, it's just my head, going west, having thoughts.
02:37Thoughts?
02:38Well, I'm sorry, I can't do this now, I've got to split.
02:41Yeah, well, okay, go back to yours.
02:43No, I'm going to go into town, play the slots.
02:46Oh, cool.
02:47I just, I hate being lied to.
02:53Sorry?
02:54Meet me at pool, slug off United, punch me in the face as hard as you can.
02:58Just, don't lie to me.
03:08Hey.
03:09Hey!
03:10Ah!
03:11Slow morning on the combines?
03:13Well, I don't actually drive them myself.
03:15Mm-hmm.
03:16I like to imagine it, though.
03:17It amuses me.
03:18I was in the middle of a very boring meeting, and I thought, I need some Laurel in my life.
03:21Ah, is that Laurel who makes excellent coffee, or is that Laurel who has a daughter crawling
03:26with knits?
03:27Oh, by the way, she's fine this morning, infestation free.
03:30You know who to call her, right?
03:31Yeah, I know who to call her.
03:33Anyway, that rather excellent coffee?
03:36Yeah.
03:37And I have a squash brownie that I won't be able to sell.
03:40My treat.
03:41Hmm.
03:42You swore on me.
03:46Moira, it's me.
03:47Oh, come in.
03:48Stick the kettle on.
03:49I'm just having a bit of a clear out.
03:52Ah.
03:53Charity shop.
03:55Bin or keep.
03:57Are you planning a Kayleigh or a Braveheart tribute?
04:01Charity shop it is then.
04:03I, er, I had a visitor.
04:08Kim Tate.
04:09Oh, really?
04:10Mm-hmm.
04:11She rocked up unannounced to do a property inspection.
04:15The cheek of the woman.
04:17I sent her on her way.
04:18Oh.
04:19Would have loved to have seen that.
04:21Ah.
04:22Latest contract.
04:23It'll take more than Kim Tate to see us off.
04:26We make a great team.
04:33Where were you this morning?
04:40Leaving.
04:41It's Dad.
04:44I'll be there next shift.
04:48Well, tell him.
04:50Eh?
04:52Your little girlfriend.
04:55She's in there.
04:56She's in the feast, yes.
04:58Postman just dumped her.
05:00You said she was in watery.
05:05There were gonna be a funeral, eh?
05:08I promised.
05:21Ray!
05:24Ray!
05:26It'll just be the washer, Sam.
05:28There's nothing to do with the tap.
05:29We've got it.
05:30Bleak in you, Ben.
05:32Right.
05:33Why don't we be really radical and call a plumber?
05:35I'd pay him with what?
05:36Some sleet and some massed yeast?
05:38We're broke.
05:42It'll be the washer again.
05:44It's not the flaming washer.
05:46Get yourself out of there.
05:47Let me clear you some space.
05:48Oh, give over.
05:49I'm doing it.
05:50There's mouse killer and all sorts in there.
05:51Well, I'm not a mouse, so I guess I'll be all right.
05:53Let me.
05:54Come on.
05:55Right, budge over.
05:56Breathe in.
05:57What was that?
06:02Nothing.
06:03My dear.
06:05We're gonna find out anyway.
06:06I'm telling you, he's definitely on to us.
06:19He was proper intense.
06:20Did he actually accuse you?
06:21Well, no.
06:22Not as such.
06:23He's actually just being paranoid.
06:24The guy's got a sword.
06:25If he suspected anything, you'd know about it.
06:27So what did he mean then?
06:28I don't know.
06:29He's unhinged.
06:31I'm supposed to be on lockout.
06:32He was close.
06:33Well, Kev's room's clear and all these are full of Bibles and old lady gobbins.
06:46Then we need to widen the radius and start thinking clever.
07:02Or you just let me drag it out of him.
07:05It was a joke.
07:06But if we do actually want to be together, we need to find that bag.
07:11Stick to the plan.
07:16Hey, Ted.
07:18Mum not giving you enough work to do.
07:20What's that then?
07:21Annios.
07:22It's Annios.
07:23I took it from my body.
07:24Ah, Ted.
07:25Listen.
07:26Now, you said you promised.
07:28Let me explain.
07:29I found her in the shed, thrown against the wall.
07:31Now, you said that you were going to sort it, that she was going to have a proper funeral.
07:35Yes, I did.
07:36And...
07:37Yeah, but you just treated her like rubbish.
07:39You lied to me.
07:41Easy, fella.
07:42Don't take that tone.
07:43I know she meant note to you, but she was just a young girl and this were her daughters
07:47and all she wanted was to get home to her.
07:49But you, you, you treated her like an animal.
07:52That is enough.
07:53No, worse than an animal.
07:55You wouldn't do to a dog what you did to her!
07:58It's not stolen, in case you were thinking.
08:01I wasn't.
08:03I've been collecting.
08:05Saving.
08:06Spare bits of change.
08:07Emptying pockets before the wash.
08:09It's amazing if you keep it long enough, it all mounts up.
08:12Saving for what?
08:13I mean, if it's something we need...
08:14Yeah, we could have all chipped in.
08:16I was worried you'd think it'd be a waste of money.
08:18What was?
08:19Well, come on.
08:20A cruise to the Caribbean.
08:22A robot hoover.
08:24Just tell us.
08:25There's this special concert in Leeds.
08:28Jason Donovan's playing.
08:30Aw, teenage heartthrob.
08:32I wanted to get us VIP tickets as a surprise.
08:35Meet and greet, goodie bag, complimentary champagne.
08:38Well, you still can.
08:39I can't.
08:40The tickets went on sale this morning.
08:42I didn't manage to scrape enough together in time.
08:45It wasn't my fault she died.
08:48All I did was try and help her.
08:51Boss.
08:52What are you doing?
08:53I'm telling you the truth, Ted.
08:55I'm telling you the truth.
08:56We're friends, right?
08:57And this is how you show your gratitude.
08:59Please.
09:00Please.
09:01I'm sorry.
09:02I'm sorry.
09:03It's just I'm the other.
09:04The whole thing, isn't it?
09:05Get out!
09:06Out!
09:07You are not yourself, Ted.
09:08You are not yourself.
09:09And I get it.
09:10Because you feel partly responsible.
09:11Yes.
09:12Maybe there was something else you could have done.
09:14I asked you for medicine.
09:15Well, it was already too late by then.
09:16I am so sorry that you had to go through that, Ted.
09:17But I laid her out.
09:35I laid her out out.
09:40I laid you with her.
09:43I laid her out all nicely while I made the arrangements.
09:46Yeah.
09:47Not, not thrown against the wall.
09:50No, no, someone else must have moved her.
09:53Because obviously I'm going to bury her properly.
09:56You are?
09:58Yes, but these things don't happen overnight.
10:00They take time.
10:02Well, where will it be, the funeral?
10:05I mean, she didn't know anyone except us,
10:08so it should be local.
10:10Yes, good point.
10:12So I could come.
10:14I don't know.
10:16You might be working.
10:18I'm having the time off.
10:20I've never asked you for anything before.
10:22I don't matter what it takes.
10:25I'm coming.
10:42Oh!
10:44Ray, do you actually do any work?
10:47Well, I'm on a field visit.
10:50You seem to have a lot of farm machinery business, this neck of the woods.
10:54Well, there's this lovely woman who keeps foisting cakes on me.
10:58Mm-hmm.
10:59What's a bloke to do?
11:00Oh!
11:01Um, I'm just going to go and speak to my mum.
11:03Sorry.
11:04Oh!
11:05Hi!
11:06Problem.
11:07I'm having a pattern if you weren't so distracted by the local...
11:11Nothing to do with Laurel.
11:13The old man found the dead girl.
11:15What?
11:16Yeah, I had to stick her in the feed shed.
11:18Well, that was stupid, even for you.
11:20Well, she needed movie.
11:21He proper lost it when she died.
11:23He was crying like a baby.
11:24You let him make a scene?
11:26Well, I didn't want to punish him.
11:27We're one step away from rebellion.
11:29Anyway, I talked my way out of it.
11:31Said we were keeping her in there till the, er...
11:33Well, the funeral.
11:36Funeral?
11:37Yes.
11:38And now he thinks he's coming.
11:40I'll feed him some excuse, but, er...
11:44He's dead set.
11:45Actually, you don't need to feed him anything.
11:48Me?
11:49If he wants a funeral, he can have a funeral.
11:51I should have thought of this before.
11:53Hopefully, I am not too late.
11:56Meet me later.
11:57Bring the old man and the body.
11:59I will drop you a pin.
12:05Oi!
12:06Service.
12:07Don't oi me.
12:09But, um, seeing as we're quiet...
12:12What can I get for you, Kevin?
12:14Well, I'm sure that's your full name.
12:16Like, Saint Kevin, who lived as a Herbert.
12:18There's a saint called Kevin.
12:20I think there's a saint for pretty much everyone.
12:22My namesake was hung, drawn and quartered for high treason.
12:25Stole me.
12:27Anyway, erm, what about a hot drink of your choice and a muffin for a special price of five pounds?
12:32Right, I'll have a, erm, chamomile tea, please.
12:38You know, you don't have milk or sugar with that.
12:40Oh.
12:41Right, I can, er, try something new if I want, can't I?
12:44And you keep banging on about how nice it is, so...
12:46I'm glad you listened to my recommendations.
12:48You can go now.
12:49But...
12:50I'll close up.
12:51It's the rules when someone's been off sick.
12:52Read the staff handbook.
12:53There's a staff handbook?
12:54Go on then, chop chop.
12:55Go and get my coat.
12:56It's probably fine.
12:57I just thought you might need saving.
12:58It's very thoughtful of you.
12:59It's my middle name.
13:00Yeah.
13:01It's nothing to do with the fact that you know he's my son then, no?
13:03Moira, it's me again.
13:04Just, er, wondering if you'd sign the contract.
13:05Oh, er, just give me a wee minute.
13:06Er, sorry.
13:07I should have left it till after tea time.
13:08Most stressful part of the day, apparently.
13:09Well, it depends if you've got a bottle open.
13:10Oh, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
13:27Oh, don't tempt me.
13:30I, er, I have to go into town, the dentists.
13:36I can take that not for you if you fancy it.
13:38Oh, no, don't worry about it.
13:39It's no bother.
13:40I pass at least a dozen charity shops on my way in.
13:43Do you have any preference?
13:45Huh?
13:46Dogs, donkeys, starving orphans.
13:48No, you pick, I trust you.
13:50Oh, of course.
13:51Thanks, bye.
13:57That's why you were hanging around like a bad smell while I was talking to Lewis about Emma, innit?
14:02You don't want a kid, Kev.
14:03Yeah, I do.
14:04Why?
14:05I take him fishing.
14:06He hates fishing.
14:08Probably.
14:09If it's killing innocent creatures.
14:11Chuck him back, don't you?
14:12He's got a perfectly good dad already, the one who adopted him.
14:15Yeah, well, I hate his blood.
14:16You're also a dying man.
14:17I'm sorry to be blunt, but what is the point in a big family reunion if your heart could
14:22seize up any minute?
14:23It's selfish, you ask me.
14:25Selfish and irresponsible and cruel.
14:27You can't talk to me like that.
14:29I just did.
14:30What are you going to do about it?
14:31Oh, act like a nutter, like you do with everyone else.
14:34Give it your best shot.
14:35You won't scare me.
14:36I thought I were coming to the funeral.
15:04This is it.
15:05The DIY version.
15:06Here.
15:07Your friend Anya didn't have any papers, remember?
15:11She's not entitled to a registered grave.
15:13But you...
15:14I thought we could swing it, Ted.
15:16But it turns out you can have a dead body and nobody cares.
15:21So we are going to do our very best for her.
15:25Give her the send off she deserves.
15:28Yes.
15:29Would you...
15:30Would you like to pick a spot?
15:35Go.
15:39Go.
15:56Here.
15:59This looks good.
16:00£227.
16:03And 34p.
16:05It's just like Lydia's had.
16:09So how much is she short by then?
16:11£10.66.
16:14And then she would have had enough for tickets?
16:16Yeah, but it's pointless, Sam, because they're sold out, aren't they?
16:18Let me just check, actually.
16:21£10.66.
16:22It's like two pints and a bag of scratchings.
16:25No way.
16:26They're releasing a load more VIP tickets tomorrow.
16:29We've got time.
16:29Oh, yes!
16:31Right.
16:32Yeah, what have I got?
16:35£150.
16:36In me lucky bottle top.
16:37She's not having that.
16:37I bet she's not checked soap, eh?
16:44Oh, schoolgirl, eh?
16:46I knew it.
16:47I've got £10.
16:54£227.34.
16:56Was I right?
16:57Bang on.
16:58Oh, well.
16:59It's always next time.
17:00Yeah, well, we'll probably need it for bills before long anyway.
17:03Yeah.
17:03I wish things had gone better.
17:13Worked out the way you'd hoped.
17:16I were glad of you.
17:18You were kind.
17:22You looked out for me.
17:25I looked out for you.
17:26Not so well as it turned out.
17:33I'm so sorry.
17:36I wish it'd been me that I'd been taken.
17:39Into each life
17:50Some rain must fall
17:53But too much is falling
17:56In mine
17:58Into each heart
18:02Some tears must fall
18:04Some tears must fall
18:06But someday the sun will shine
18:10Some folk can lose
18:13The blues in their heart
18:16Was when I think of you
18:19Another shower stout
18:23Into each life
18:26Some rain
18:27A swan
18:29But too much
18:32Is falling
18:34In mine
18:37It was lovely, Ted
18:41Man, pal
18:50My bright shining girl
18:54Sleep
18:58Like my love
18:59We're closing
19:06I've nearly finished mopping
19:08And you're still lingering
19:09Yeah
19:10Ah, okay
19:13So what don't you understand
19:15Lewis might be your biological son
19:18But that doesn't give you a right
19:20To play daddy
19:20Yeah, but I am his dad
19:21It wouldn't be here
19:22If it wasn't for me
19:23It's a shame you didn't have
19:24This burning sense of responsibility
19:2523 years ago
19:27Where were you then?
19:28You know where I was
19:28Prison
19:29Exactly
19:30Leaving Emma
19:31No choice than to have him adopted
19:32She was the one
19:33That grasped me to the old bill
19:34She was the one
19:35That got me sent down
19:36No, Kev
19:37You got yourself sent down
19:38By being a raging criminal
19:39I wouldn't be surprised
19:42If it was you
19:42That robbed that pawn shop
19:43Oh my god
19:46And you're wondering
19:47Why I don't want the lad
19:48Having anything to do with you
19:49It was a one-off
19:50I needed a cash injection
19:51You are immoral
19:52And deluded
19:53I bet you're only interested in Lewis
19:55So that you can train him off
19:56As an account
19:56Oh, hiya
19:57Kev
19:58What?
20:02Are you talking about me?
20:03No
20:03Okay
20:05Kev was asking about cleaning work
20:07But I thought you had a dicky ticker
20:09Well, that's just what I said
20:10What are you doing back anyway?
20:11Oh, at the staff handbook
20:12I looked through the driver
20:13I couldn't find it
20:14Don't you think as co-owner
20:15I should have
20:15Oh, Kev
20:15You're looking a bit pale
20:17Are you alright?
20:18No
20:18Go and get him a chamomile tea
20:21Go on, quick
20:22How much do you care?
20:26That's the question
20:27Because if you've really got his best interests at heart
20:30You'd leave him in peace
20:32That's what being a proper dad means
20:35Well
20:42You made an old man very happy
20:45He'd be happier if she was alive
20:50What was with the blanket?
20:58Did you have a sudden tender moment?
21:00I'm touched
21:01It wasn't sentiment
21:04We just buried a body
21:10Cheers
21:11Cheers
21:13The blanket
21:17It was Moira's
21:18She has a body
21:22Wrapped in her DNA
21:23In a shallow grave
21:25On her own farmland
21:26And there was me
21:32Thinking you actually had a heart
21:34She's my neighbour
21:36My business partner
21:37And now, thanks to a ratty old blanket
21:39She's our insurance
21:42Against ever getting caught
21:43The ship's
21:49He's my body
21:52The ship's
21:53исs algún
21:54abilir
21:55ais
21:56I un estado
21:58I 12
21:59Unus
21:59Unus
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