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00:00That's Rob Jason Donovan with too many broken hearts.
00:04Remember this? Remember the pressure?
00:09Zip it, Gabby Davis. You're talking over Sonya.
00:11Play and record. Together.
00:14Don't get the DJ in.
00:18Got it.
00:20That was close.
00:46Christine, I had to show you before the party.
00:50New raspberry range.
00:52They have never done colours like this before. Stunning.
00:55You're going door to door? Someone's desperate for commission.
00:58I'm not doing this for commission, Christine. I'm doing it for you.
01:00I've seen the inside of your fridge.
01:01Chicken drumsticks sat on the shelf there without so much as a bit of cling round it.
01:05Why are you sniffling round my fridge like a truffle pig?
01:07Well, anyway, I've got plenty of Tupperware.
01:09Oh, pink?
01:11Raspberry range.
01:12About a 12-inch?
01:14Compartments.
01:15The dips.
01:17We need this.
01:19I was, um, thinking of inviting Jez Saturday night.
01:21Bit of a welcome to the close.
01:23What's a bloke want with a Tupperware party, Christine?
01:25Well, I just thought he seems quite...
01:28Organised.
01:29Well, he might be, but this is a night for the girlies.
01:31I'm going.
01:32Just thought it might be nice to invite him.
01:34Christine, us ladies don't have much in this world, yeah?
01:37But these...
01:39These airtight stackable containers in an assortment of colours, shapes and sizes.
01:43These are ours, yeah.
01:45We're storing more than nibbles in there.
01:48We're storing love.
01:49Hopes and dreams.
01:51Plains and...
01:52Oh, God.
01:53It was just a thought.
01:54And anyway, he seems quite flush.
01:55He might have had a big order.
01:56Well, I'll pop round and show him now.
01:58But he's not coming Saturday.
02:00Ladies night.
02:01And me.
02:02As I said.
02:03Oi!
02:04Dad's on the telly!
02:05Has a run of bad results affected the team's morale?
02:08Well, no-one wants to lose that many games in a season.
02:1222.
02:15But...
02:16Let's not forget we did well last season.
02:18We've got form.
02:20We've just got to find it again.
02:21How are the boys feeling?
02:22My boys know they have my unconditional support.
02:26But you've got to keep working.
02:27I think you've worked hard enough today.
02:28I'll let you get home.
02:29No need.
02:30There's nowhere I'd rather be.
02:32Oh, charming.
02:34Trolled by my dad and on regional TV.
02:37Right, love.
02:43Did you watch it?
02:44Look East.
02:45Yeah, I did.
02:46How did I come across?
02:47Yeah, good.
02:48Really good.
02:50It's just...
02:53Sometimes, the way you talk about the players,
02:55your boys, there's nowhere you'd rather be,
02:57well, I think it upsets Alan a bit.
03:00What do you mean?
03:02Well, you've got two boys at home.
03:03Oh, give over.
03:04It's totally different.
03:05I just think you can make more of an effort.
03:07Especially with Alan.
03:08I'm always making an effort.
03:11I watched that detective woman cycling around with a typewriter.
03:15Murder, she wrote.
03:16I don't know what she was writing.
03:18But I watched a double bill last week for his birthday.
03:21His birthday's in June.
03:22Is it?
03:24Oh, that little...
03:25Graham!
03:26Christine, it's a two-way street.
03:28Now, he doesn't bother with me, I don't bother with him.
03:30We're both happy with that.
03:37Florence Nightingale was not just a nurse.
03:41My own dad didn't want to spend time with me and Angela called me a woman.
03:45But with double history, I could lose myself in ruffs and muffs.
03:50Alan, could you read Ms Nightingale's quote for us?
03:55The lady with the lamp.
03:57There she is.
03:58Isn't she just?
04:02Ugh, being camp's like having B.O.
04:05The more you flap your arms around, the worse it gets.
04:08I needed to mask it.
04:11And quick.
04:16Oh, how about I try a spritz of odour sport?
04:20Christine.
04:29Don't look now.
04:31But he's just picked up chute.
04:35He's reading chute.
04:37What is this, spring watch?
04:39I didn't tell him to, he just went for it all by himself.
04:42Should I go in and talk to him?
04:46Maybe just let him get his bearings first, yeah?
04:52No, no, no.
04:57Oh, Jeremy.
04:59Christine.
05:00Is there a chance that Alan's available tomorrow?
05:02Pip went over on her ankle and we need someone for our country dancing event.
05:05I know it's last minute, but no one do-si-dos quite like Alan.
05:09Look, I don't think you'll have to ask him twice.
05:11Oh, that is music to my ears.
05:13Alan, Mr Butterworth's here.
05:15What's a word?
05:17There he is.
05:19My hero.
05:20You wouldn't step in last minute.
05:21Give us a couple of square sets tomorrow.
05:23Is this the devil himself tempting me?
05:25I love country dancing!
05:26No.
05:28He's playing hard to get.
05:29Alan, go and get your Anki.
05:31I'm busy tomorrow.
05:32Since when?
05:33I'm going to watch The Cobblers with my dad.
05:35Are you?
05:37You'll have to try someone else.
05:39What about Felix?
05:40He loves country dancing and he makes his own costumes.
05:42I tried, but he changed his name after the smear campaign.
05:46He's in a safe house in Rushton.
05:49Oh.
05:50Come on!
05:51Pop those plimsolls on for us!
05:52Look, Mr Butterworth, he said no.
05:54And he's going to watch the football with his old man like every other boy his age.
05:57And he can find some other clown.
05:59This time tomorrow I will be chanting on the terraces for my team against...
06:05Are you playing again?
06:06Preston, away.
06:08Preston away.
06:09Away?!
06:10Yeah.
06:11Yeah, we're going to have to stay over.
06:13M6 on a Saturday.
06:15Forget it.
06:16But I'm going to miss my Tupperware party.
06:19Right.
06:20Is everybody here?
06:21Here, Mum.
06:22This is the bridge.
06:23That's it.
06:24Where's the dude?
06:25It's on my back.
06:26Let's go.
06:27Oi, oi!
06:28Don't forget about little old me.
06:30What are you doing here?
06:31I'm getting on the party bus, son.
06:33It's not a party bus.
06:34It's a team bus.
06:35Christ's sake, Nick.
06:36This game's important.
06:38I got a free pass.
06:40The wife's in hospital for a week and I want to sample everything that...
06:44Where are we going?
06:46Preston.
06:47Away.
06:48And I want to sample everything that Preston away has to offer.
06:53Is that booze in that carrier?
06:55No.
06:56The lads need to focus.
06:57I promise you, Grey, you will not hear a peep out of me.
07:01Right.
07:06Right.
07:07Let's go.
07:08I've got three copies of Razzle and 200 Lambert and Butler duty free.
07:11Who's with me?
07:14Read your book.
07:15This was it.
07:17Quality time.
07:18Just me, my dad and all his other boys.
07:21His goalie, his strikers and those ones that hang around in the middle.
07:25It's the Cobblers.
07:26It's the Cobblers.
07:27They're just known as Northampton Town.
07:28Go on.
07:29Go on.
07:30It's the Cobblers.
07:31It's the Cobblers.
07:32It's the Cobblers.
07:33Come on.
07:34Come on.
07:35Come on.
07:36Come.
07:37Oh my, come one.
07:38Come on, come on.
07:40Come on.
07:42Seeing my dad get abused reminded me of school, but he didn't have a kindly dinner lady to come
07:52a friendly dinner lady to come to his aid.
08:00Sit down, Adam.
08:02Sit down, Adam.
08:06Thanks for that.
08:12Showtime.
08:20Right, leave the nipples out.
08:22I'll check the score.
08:24Ah, see facts.
08:26Come on, Northampton.
08:28Come on.
08:30Instant information.
08:32Well, if you were prepared to wait 15 minutes for the page to turn.
08:36Gary, you got me ashtray?
08:38And you better not be eating those crisps there for tonight.
08:42Well, come on. Hurry up, quick.
08:44It's the next one.
08:46Come on, Northampton.
08:52Come on, Northampton.
08:54Come on!
08:56Come on!
08:58Dad.
09:00Yeah, let's just go home.
09:02We're not coming back from 3-0.
09:04You might as well let bygones be bygones.
09:06How do you grab your spans?
09:08What are you talking about?
09:09Sit down.
09:10I'll...
09:11Right.
09:12Sud this for a game of monkeys.
09:14Er, I'll see you in the box.
09:16Come on, Mike!
09:17Get it!
09:18Alfie!
09:19Er, left box on the yellow card.
09:21Get him in his face.
09:22Wind him up.
09:23Blime, you losers!
09:25Now!
09:26Shut up!
09:34Oh, they got another one.
09:36God.
09:374-0.
09:38He is not gonna be happy.
09:40Oh.
09:41Feels wrong having a party after that, doesn't it?
09:44Should we cancel it?
09:46Do you think we should?
09:48Oh.
09:49But we've got all the stuff now.
09:51No.
09:52You know what?
09:53Your dad would want us to have a good time.
09:55He would.
09:56He'd say,
09:57You go and enjoy yourselves.
09:58Don't you worry about me.
10:00But if he asked, we cancelled it.
10:07Oh, that was awful.
10:09I've had an old booing.
10:12Man.
10:13Now I've got to spend a night in this dump.
10:26What is that?
10:27Portable potpourri.
10:28It's an essential.
10:29You never know when you might need to mask the smell of...
10:33feet.
10:35I need a beer.
10:36I will get my wallet, then.
10:38Oh, no, no, no.
10:39No, you're alright.
10:40I'll, er...
10:41I'll get one with the lads.
10:42Well, I'm one of your lads tonight, aren't I?
10:45We're meant to be spending quality time together.
10:48Yeah, we are.
10:52Yeah, we are.
10:53We are.
10:54Right.
10:55So, I've prepared 20 questions.
10:57I thought we could fill it out together, compare and contrast.
11:00So, question one...
11:01Oh, this is really long.
11:02But, er...
11:03No.
11:04No, you're right.
11:05It'll be good to, er...
11:07To catch up.
11:08You know?
11:09Find out who your favourite female historical figure is.
11:13Er...
11:14I'll, er...
11:15I'll fill it in at the bar and, er...
11:17I'll see you down there.
11:21Yeah.
11:22Yeah.
11:25All I needed was the love you gave
11:28All I needed for another day
11:33And all I ever knew
11:37Only you
11:41The perfect size for those on-the-go snacks.
11:44Gary, you're blocking my products, thank you.
11:45Handful of warm nuts in there.
11:47A few cubes of cheese.
11:48You could fit two quarters of a sandwich, top to toe.
11:50No, you couldn't.
11:51Yes, you could.
11:53Ladies.
11:54You open a packet of hobnobs.
11:55But you only want one.
11:56Who has one?
11:57You can have a pack of stale hobnobs on your hands.
12:00Or are you?
12:02Simply decant those hobbody knobs into a medium-sized tuck.
12:06Place the lid on like so.
12:08And they'll be keeping their crunch till Christmas.
12:10She's never getting a sandwich in there.
12:11A boogie sandwiches, Marion.
12:12I'm talking about a bit of ham and lettuce, not a bloody rump steak.
12:15Ah, she needs to be on my puff for this.
12:17Smacked finish on the lids, ladies.
12:18Have a feel of that, Christine.
12:19And you, Marion.
12:20Oh.
12:21That is smooth.
12:22Smoothing it.
12:23Smooth, that, yeah.
12:24Right.
12:25Question.
12:26No, you can't store wine in them.
12:27I've already got the ones with the red and the white lids.
12:32Yeah.
12:33What's the best deal you could do me for the blue?
12:35Now we're off, ladies.
12:36I know it sounds silly, but red, white and blue just makes me feel all patriotic.
12:38Do you know what, Christine?
12:39I'll do you two for one on the blue and I'll throw in a lemon squeezer.
12:40Have I got myself a deal?
12:41Deal.
12:42That is our first sale of the night, ladies.
12:43Oh, and you know what?
12:44Put me down for a round one.
12:45Because that would come in handy if I need to store something round, wouldn't it?
12:46Can you get your fingers out of that, please, Marion?
12:47You're making it all greasy.
12:48Do you know where that top would look good?
12:49Your bedroom floor?
12:50I've heard it.
12:51No.
12:52On a silky padded hanger.
12:53That's where I make my first meal.
12:54Silky padded hangers.
12:55Okay.
12:56Thank you, please.
12:57I got a job.
12:58I've got a deal.
12:59That is our first sale of the night, ladies.
13:00I've got a deal.
13:01Deal.
13:02That is our first sale of the night, ladies.
13:03Oh, and you know what?
13:04Put me down for a round one.
13:05Because that would come in handy if I need to store something round, wouldn't it?
13:07Can you get your fingers out of that, Marion?
13:09You're making it all greasy.
13:10Do you know where that top would look good?
13:11Your bedroom floor.
13:12I've heard it.
13:13No.
13:14padded hangers.
13:18Here's my card.
13:20You're a millionaire. What are you doing in this dump?
13:22I'm looking for a wife.
13:28I can see you're very excited to be the next
13:30Mrs. Chalmers.
13:32So I want you to hold on to that thought
13:34while I go and siphon the python.
13:41Another round for the lads, please, love.
13:44And one for yourself.
13:45And some crisps.
13:47Not that they deserve it.
13:49All bloody nil.
13:50Aw, don't be too hard on them.
13:54But it's not just pints you're pulling in here.
13:59They keep putting the crisps too low.
14:01Have to bend down to get them.
14:04I have told them to move them, but...
14:07I think they should keep them where they are.
14:10I'm found, man.
14:11What? No!
14:13No!
14:13It's just a bit of banter.
14:16Why? No!
14:17She started it!
14:19No, I'm going to phone Mum,
14:21see how the party's going.
14:22Oh, great!
14:24That's great!
14:25Down to know if she's found anything for our milk, love.
14:28So bugger to keep moist.
14:29You all right, Christine?
14:37Yeah, just...
14:39just messing my Alan a bit.
14:41Where is he?
14:42Brownie.
14:43No, he's impressed him with his dad at the football.
14:46Staying overnight, they're not back till tomorrow.
14:48Well, Christine...
14:49Why didn't you say?
14:51Three words, ladies.
14:53P-I-P-A-D-E.
14:55You're outrageous!
14:58While the cat is around,
14:59the mask will slip into something more comfortable.
15:03Check out the quality of that pussycat bar, Diane.
15:06Does it wash?
15:07Does it?
15:07It's 100% polyester, that.
15:10New one.
15:11Deviled egg!
15:12Very delicate cup.
15:14Gary!
15:15Bed!
15:16No, we've got a bandie!
15:18Show us that.
15:27Tell me everything.
15:29Who made the guest list?
15:30Oh, hello, love.
15:31You ain't missing a thing.
15:33Really boring.
15:34Proper damp squib.
15:37Sounds it.
15:38Oh, I wish I was there with you.
15:40Oh, I know, darling, I know.
15:42Listen, I saw the result on C-Fax.
15:44How is he?
15:47He's not himself.
15:48No.
15:49I bet he needs a cuddle.
15:50So that's what he needs.
15:52You know what?
15:52We're finishing up now,
15:53so I'm going to give you a ring before I go to bed.
15:56Top up!
15:57What's your room number?
15:58Number?
15:59He's barely got a door.
16:00Never mind a number.
16:02All right then, darling.
16:03All right, see you later.
16:04Bye, Mum.
16:06I could hear in her voice
16:08she'd bought that raspberry Tupperware range.
16:10Will that woman ever learn?
16:13Oi, oi.
16:14Watch this, boys.
16:17Fire in your holes.
16:19Boom.
16:21Because it was a grenade, wasn't it?
16:23Did you see it?
16:24I clocked it and had her out.
16:26Because instead of saying fire in the hole,
16:28I said fire in your holes.
16:30Like in the bum.
16:32Boom.
16:32Let's get the party started, eh?
16:34I've had a drink.
16:35No, let's just go to bed.
16:38I'll pipe down, Adam.
16:39You're spoiling the mood.
16:41I'll take him up to bed.
16:43Oh.
16:44Only if you tuck me in after.
16:46Oh, God.
16:47This is getting very unsavoury.
16:50If I play my cards right, Adam.
16:52If I play my cards right.
16:54I'm trying the one, Danielle.
16:57Over your knickers unless you're buying pink.
16:59All right, hang on.
17:19I look nice on you, Chris.
17:21We're just trying on some bits.
17:24Go on, Nigel.
17:26Take him with you.
17:28Bloody hell, Chris.
17:30Actually, Nigel, can I have them back?
17:32No.
17:33I told you, Nigel, no boys allowed!
17:36Well, it sounds like you need a man in there to keep your girls in check.
17:39Well, if you know of any big, strong boys...
17:41Oh, God.
17:42Maybe it's time to let the fox into the chicken coop.
17:46What?
17:49No, no.
17:51No, Nigel, we've got to go.
17:53We've got bin bag Diane.
17:54She's stuck in a corset and we've got to cut her out.
17:57OK, well, I was just checking in.
18:01Yeah, OK, I'm off.
18:05I can see your eyes through the letterbox, Nigel.
18:11Right, I'd like to buy a drink for the best footballers in the league.
18:16When they get here.
18:17Yay!
18:18Alan?
18:19Is there an Alan?
18:20Alan Carr?
18:21Adam Carr.
18:22Yeah, I'm Alan.
18:23I'm Alan.
18:24I'm Alan.
18:25I'm Alan.
18:26I'm Alan!
18:27I'm Alan!
18:28I'm Alan!
18:29I'm Alan!
18:30I'm Alan!
18:31I'm Alan!
18:32I'man!
18:33Oh no, you've borrowed me.
18:35It's not...
18:36you're not a witch blowing!
18:37Gary?
18:38I'm Helen.
18:39I'm Helen!
18:40Top in the!
18:41Daddy!
18:42I can't.
18:43I don't think of it.
18:44What's all that now is?
18:45What's going on?
18:46I'm drinking teaă§ă.
18:47Mary, how are you doing that?
18:48Pat.
18:49She's topping me!
18:50Help!
18:51You off the basis.
18:52Gary.
18:53HE SIGHS
19:09I wish you'd have won, Alan.
19:11Look, you tried your best, and that crowd was harsh.
19:17You're not fat.
19:20You're just a little bit chunky.
19:22Oh, fair, it's fair. You know, the fans pay their money.
19:25They see their team giving us a good kicking,
19:27they're going to want to celebrate.
19:29You can't take it personally.
19:31I mean, you can't, but you do.
19:33It's funny.
19:35I've always wanted you to be a footballer.
19:39But I'd hate for you to be called some of the names I get called.
19:45I mean, I can handle it. You know, I've got a thick skin,
19:47but you, you... you can't know.
19:50Oh.
19:51I get called names all the time in school.
19:53Oh.
19:55Oh.
19:56What is he doing?
20:10He's showing her his padded hangar.
20:14Oh, he's padded hangar.
20:19Oh.
20:21Dad?
20:22Yeah?
20:23What did that man say?
20:24What man?
20:26You know, at the football match when he got promoted.
20:28I know it's over a year ago, but I've always wanted to ask.
20:32What did he say?
20:35Well...
20:36You know, there's a...
20:38There's a lot of people at a football game.
20:40Alan...
20:41Can't remember them all.
20:43No, but you punched him.
20:47I saw you, we scored, and then you punched him.
20:50What did he say that was so bad?
20:52Was it...
20:55Was it something about me?
20:57I don't remember, son.
20:59Get some sleep.
21:00I do remember him.
21:12That man.
21:15I shouldn't have punched him.
21:16I know that, but...
21:19What he said...
21:24Couldn't have it.
21:26Alan, I couldn't have him talking about you like that.
21:30You were saying you were a...
21:37Oh, he still can't even say it.
21:38At least my son's not gay!
21:40Sticks in my throat.
21:48Right, and you're old man's soft here.
21:51I wanted to apologise, which is gnawing feet.
21:56What do you say?
21:57Feet?
21:58Yeah, it does smell like feet.
21:59It's like sleeping in a moccasin.
22:08Good night, son.
22:11Night, Dad!
22:13Sweet dreams, kiddo.
22:14But you'll never stop me from loving you.
22:21It doesn't really matter what you put me through.
22:25You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:33You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:36Wherever you can i follow you, you'll never stop me from loving you.
22:37Wherever you can go, I will follow you.
22:43You'll never stop me from loving you.
22:45Don't forget me to try me through the chat.
22:47Thank you for listening...
22:49Everything is good.
22:50When we get out of the tin that we justĐ°ĐœĐžĐč it out,
22:53You won't stop you.
22:54I got to show you again.
22:55Maybe we'll be old, but..
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