- 6 hours ago
Perfect Boyfriend HD
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00excuse me but you look familiar i'm sorry what do you work in the veterinary office
00:00:08oh that's got to be it you look so familiar i'm betty and and my poodle's name is misty
00:00:16the teacup black one no i'm sorry betty i'm a writer maybe you've read one of my books
00:00:21oh what's your name i write under the pen name mercedes lee love letter is it christian romance
00:00:27no is it amish oh how i love those amish novels definitely not amish
00:00:37are you writing now yes may i see i'm afraid i don't let anyone see my work in progress
00:00:44needs an editor's touch oh you were in here yesterday too right and the day before
00:00:49okay what's the problem did management send you in here oh no no i i'm just the baker
00:01:00betty the baker you do the cookies yes i make the cookies the scones holy cow those scones are
00:01:08delish do you really think so oh yes have you tried the danishes i haven't seen the danishes
00:01:13i usually get here around 10 they must be gone by 10. oh well that's a good sign i think so too
00:01:20good for you betty well how many days have you been in here is there something terribly wrong with
00:01:27your car i bet they could get you a rental actually i'm not really a writer betty can you keep a secret
00:01:36i'm here with corporate we've been worried about the service in this branch so they sent me here to
00:01:42scope things out for a few weeks well i've never heard any complaints before but you wouldn't it's all
00:01:47very internal but i'm gonna need you to keep my presence here quiet that's okay mom's the word
00:01:55thank you for your discretion we aren't worried about you at all hi dean kade i don't need an oil
00:02:21change yes but you're my friend and you'll do anything for me i need your car so i don't blow my
00:02:27cover i lied to an old lady i'm in deep this is so desperate it doesn't matter what matters is that
00:02:35i've got my writing mojo back and i'm not giving it up please why don't you just find a back entrance
00:02:43instead of borrowing every neighbor's car you never thought of that this deadline has me freaked out
00:02:51okay no whatever wait you don't need my car no
00:03:21okay
00:03:31so
00:03:33so
00:03:35Oh, shit.
00:04:05Are you okay?
00:04:07Oh, my God, my computer.
00:04:12Okay, it's not cracked, but will it boot?
00:04:16Oh, rookie mistake.
00:04:17This is what I get for not backing it up.
00:04:20Oh, okay.
00:04:24Whew.
00:04:27Hey.
00:04:30Are you hurt?
00:04:33Huh?
00:04:48You, uh, you work here?
00:04:52I do.
00:04:54I'm a mechanic.
00:04:56Were you getting a service?
00:05:01Yes.
00:05:02Then what brings you back here?
00:05:05Completed cars are out front.
00:05:07These back doors are the employee entrance.
00:05:09Right.
00:05:10I, um, was coming out for a smoke.
00:05:14Great.
00:05:15Can I bum one?
00:05:17Weren't you just fake-smoking licorice?
00:05:20You saw that?
00:05:22Yes.
00:05:23Before my triumphant fall, I saw something that looked like a make-believe cloud of cherry smoke floating all around you.
00:05:30I quit smoking three months ago.
00:05:34And licorice helps.
00:05:35Doesn't hurt.
00:05:36Maybe it hurts the ego.
00:05:38How macho is it to fake smoke candy?
00:05:41My ego is never in danger, babe.
00:05:44Well, with book boyfriend arms like that, it's no wonder.
00:05:48Book boyfriend?
00:05:49Book boyfriend.
00:05:51The leading man in a romance novel that readers claim ownership of because he doesn't likely exist in the real world.
00:05:58Basically, the ideal man.
00:06:00I haven't heard of that before.
00:06:02I take it you're into books or something?
00:06:05Or something.
00:06:08And it doesn't surprise me you've never heard of it.
00:06:12You're not my demo.
00:06:15What if you're my demo?
00:06:24Well, we won't know that until the end.
00:06:39Fessa, where have you been?
00:06:41The library, like I told you in my text.
00:06:44Bullshit.
00:06:47You smell like coffee and rubber.
00:06:49It's known as freedom.
00:06:51You actually went back to the tire depot.
00:06:54Kate, come on.
00:06:55They are going to call the cops on you.
00:06:56For what?
00:06:57Stealing complimentary coffee and cookies?
00:06:59Come on.
00:07:00That's not a thing.
00:07:01But loitering is.
00:07:04You think they'd really do that?
00:07:07Anyway, I found a back entrance.
00:07:10No more borrowing cars.
00:07:11Oh, that's even better.
00:07:13You're skulking in and out of side entrances.
00:07:15Brilliant.
00:07:16I don't care, Lindsay.
00:07:17I found my words at the TD.
00:07:19And I'm not letting go until I'm done.
00:07:21The TD?
00:07:22Tiger Depot.
00:07:23It's such a mouthful.
00:07:24You know what's a mouthful?
00:07:26Risen.
00:07:27This is a crutch, Kate.
00:07:29You've got to see that.
00:07:31Who cares?
00:07:32I couldn't write a thing before I went there.
00:07:34And writing is what keeps me in this posh townhouse on the outskirts of beautiful Boulder.
00:07:39If I want to continue being this stunning creature living the high life, I have to follow the vibe.
00:07:43And the vibe is strong at Tire Depot.
00:07:47Can we stop dancing around what's really going on here?
00:07:49Watch yourself.
00:07:50That is luxury reclaimed Barnwood.
00:07:53This is about your ex?
00:07:56Who happens to still live with you?
00:07:58He's gone for the summer.
00:08:00That is hardly living together.
00:08:02And as soon as he gets back, I'm not budging.
00:08:04We're playing this game of chicken and there's no way I'm letting that entitled fucker take this house.
00:08:09So even though you can't write in it, you want to fight for the house with no vibe?
00:08:14That's irrelevant.
00:08:15There's no way in hell I'm moving.
00:08:17I have to write a follow-up bestseller.
00:08:20That is no small feat.
00:08:22I live next door to my best friend.
00:08:24You don't want me to move out, do you?
00:08:26No.
00:08:29What?
00:08:30It looks like a letter from Tire Depot.
00:08:32They figured it out?
00:08:33Stop being so dramatic.
00:08:35Have they ever mailed you something before?
00:08:36No.
00:08:37Oh my god, what if this is the moment I feared?
00:08:40They might be taking my mojo away.
00:08:42Dear Miss Smith, we have taken notice of your enjoyment of our customer waiting area.
00:08:47Read it.
00:08:49An invoice for refreshments?
00:08:52Holy shit!
00:08:53How do they know?
00:08:55What?
00:08:56$180 for lattes and cookies.
00:08:58Kate, how many did you eat?
00:09:00I don't eat lunch.
00:09:02Wait a damn minute.
00:09:05What?
00:09:06This has danishes here.
00:09:07Okay.
00:09:08I have never had a danish there in my life.
00:09:10You haven't.
00:09:11I'm being pumped.
00:09:16Dean.
00:09:25Okay, here's the plan.
00:09:26I'm gonna kneel here.
00:09:27You knock on the door.
00:09:28When he opens it, jump punch.
00:09:31Kate!
00:09:33What if he didn't do it?
00:09:34I mean, that's so extreme.
00:09:36Surely he has a punch to the balls out coming for something.
00:09:39He's a mountain man whore.
00:09:40They always have it coming.
00:09:43Why are you so mature?
00:09:45You're a dick.
00:09:46And I know that fake invoice was from you.
00:09:51Nice to see you too, Kate.
00:09:56Just be grateful she didn't junk punch you.
00:09:58I saved you from that.
00:10:00Thanks, Linz.
00:10:01Mm-hmm.
00:10:02How'd you know it was me?
00:10:05The letterhead was too perfect.
00:10:07And I know you know how to use Photoshop.
00:10:10You should try to suck more.
00:10:12Oh, that is the first time I've heard that.
00:10:14You should have seen her, Dane.
00:10:16I thought she was going to start crying when she saw that letterhead.
00:10:19Look, I tried to get you to come check out my coworking space.
00:10:22We've got coffee and donuts there too, you know?
00:10:24Eh, those aren't my people.
00:10:26Not my vibe.
00:10:28And your vibe is this tire shop.
00:10:31You gotta see it to believe it, man.
00:10:33If you find your vibe somewhere, you have to fight for it.
00:10:37Tire Depot is to me what Fanny Braun was to John Keats.
00:10:41Poetry in motion, man.
00:10:43Okay, you sound like a lunatic.
00:10:46What if you could work better and faster elsewhere?
00:10:49You'd have more time to hike, bang chicks, prank your friends,
00:10:55buy more plaid trousers.
00:10:57Oh, you been noticing my slacks, Kate?
00:10:59No, and don't change the subject.
00:11:02I feel like a fucking champion when I'm blasting out words
00:11:05and sitting next to some gal who's wasting her life on social media.
00:11:09It's a real morale boost for Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:11:12And I still can't believe you hit a bestseller list with that pen name.
00:11:15My readers get me.
00:11:17They'd have to.
00:11:19So you're going back there tomorrow?
00:11:20Hells yeah.
00:11:21This smut won't write itself.
00:11:23I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.
00:11:31Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:11:32I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.
00:11:38Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:11:39Mercedes Lee Love Letter.
00:11:41I have two large pizzas, parmesan breadsticks, a pound of boneless wings, and three dipping sauces.
00:11:46Claim it now or it's going in the trash.
00:11:47I'm Mercedes.
00:11:48I've been calling your name for like five minutes.
00:11:49Well, I didn't order a pizza.
00:11:50I don't care.
00:11:51Fucking whore.
00:11:52I'm trying to keep a low profile.
00:11:53Everyone is staring at me.
00:11:54I'm fucking mortified.
00:11:55I'm fucking mortified.
00:11:56Laughing.
00:11:57So.
00:11:58I'm trying to keep a low profile.
00:12:02Laughing so fucking hard.
00:12:03You interrupted my anal scene.
00:12:04I was in the zone.
00:12:05I'm saying I'm okay.
00:12:06How many are.
00:12:07I'm of the motive?
00:12:08I'm siren.
00:12:09I'm of the motive.
00:12:10I'm of the motive.
00:12:11I don't care.
00:12:12Fucking whore.
00:12:13I don't care.
00:12:22Fucking whore.
00:12:23Fucking whore.
00:12:25I'm trying to keep a low profile.
00:12:26Ha ha ha ha.
00:12:28My anal scene I was in the zone
00:12:32Wheezing on the floor
00:12:36How do you have time for this don't you have a book to write?
00:12:43Best 53 bucks I ever spent
00:12:58I had an issue with one of my tires
00:13:14Which car I
00:13:16Drive the Cadillac SRX a Cadillac
00:13:20Isn't that kind of an old lady car?
00:13:22It is not an old lady car. It is a luxury SUV and it is wonderful
00:13:28Well, if you have that kind of money you should look into a Lexus or a BMW much more sexy feel to the body
00:13:35Well, maybe I don't want a sexy body feel
00:13:39What's your name?
00:13:42My name is Mercedes
00:13:44That's perfect. You'd look damn fine in a Mercedes
00:13:50What do you drive an Indian motorcycle?
00:13:53Why am I not surprised am I that predictable more predictable than my old lady car
00:13:58Well, it's nice to officially meet you Mercedes
00:14:04I'm miles Hudson
00:14:09Now tell me why you're really here
00:14:11Would some
00:14:13Leftover pizza keep you quiet?
00:14:15I might buy you some time
00:14:19Time is all I need
00:14:21You're serious
00:14:21Super serious
00:14:22Very well Mercedes
00:14:24I'll leave you be
00:14:25For now
00:14:26See you around the water cooler miles
00:14:28You haven't noticed that hot redhead in the comfort center have you?
00:14:43Nope
00:14:48Was she there today?
00:14:49Yeah
00:14:50And yesterday
00:14:51What was she doing?
00:14:53Just on her computer
00:14:55So she's safe and need free Wi-Fi
00:14:57Call the cops
00:14:58We got a mooch on our hands
00:14:59I don't get a mooch vibe from her
00:15:01Mostly feels like desperation
00:15:06Now it all makes sense
00:15:08You have a fetish for desperate girls bro
00:15:10I do not
00:15:11Yes you do
00:15:12You like to save them
00:15:14Be the gallant protector
00:15:15Sweeps in
00:15:16Guards them
00:15:18This girl does not need saving
00:15:20So
00:15:22She's nothing like Jocelyn
00:15:24Dude
00:15:26I'm done with Jocelyn
00:15:27Can we please stop talking about her?
00:15:28You got dumped by your long time sweetheart
00:15:30For some rich ugly prick
00:15:32That shit
00:15:34Sticks with you forever
00:15:35What a sausage fest
00:15:37Why do we live here again?
00:15:39Cause my uncle's the manager
00:15:41And no other boss would put up with our shit
00:15:44And maybe that
00:15:46I don't know
00:15:47What a sausage fest
00:15:48Why do we live here again?
00:15:49Cause my uncle's the manager
00:15:50And no other boss would put up with our shit
00:15:52And maybe that
00:15:53Oh
00:15:55Oh
00:15:56Definitely that
00:15:57Oh, my God.
00:16:27I'm going to close up tonight, okay?
00:16:45Hey, Red?
00:16:51Mercedes?
00:16:58Shit, did I bust out?
00:17:00Yeah.
00:17:01Have you fainted before?
00:17:03Only when I don't eat.
00:17:05Why didn't you have a cookie or something?
00:17:09I feel bad eating all the cookies.
00:17:13Betty worked so hard on them.
00:17:15It's bad enough that I drink all the coffee.
00:17:17Betty, what's wrong?
00:17:21No one ever tells her how good those cookies are.
00:17:25I got here early so that I could try her danishes, and they were already gone.
00:17:31How crazy is that?
00:17:35Betty has to get up so early to make them fresh every day, and then people just gobble them up in seconds.
00:17:40I wonder if anyone appreciates her in her life.
00:17:45Do you know if she's married?
00:17:49Betty gets a hug for me every time I see her.
00:17:53The guys here love her baked goods.
00:17:55Really?
00:17:56Really.
00:17:56That's really sweet.
00:18:00I'm sorry.
00:18:01I get emotional when I'm hungry.
00:18:04You know how some people get hangry, I get amongry?
00:18:08Emotional and hungry?
00:18:09It's a thing.
00:18:10I got them to add it to Urban Dictionary.
00:18:12Well, let's get you something to eat, then.
00:18:16Like pizza, not cookies.
00:18:18I love pizza.
00:18:19I know.
00:18:20I saw your shirt the other day.
00:18:22With the pizza?
00:18:23I love that shirt.
00:18:28Oh, my God.
00:18:30I am probably bugging you.
00:18:33No, you're not.
00:18:34Please, I practically just fainted in your arms.
00:18:40We could not get any more book worthy if we tried.
00:18:43Mercedes, this isn't the first time I've had a girl faint at the side of me.
00:18:50Just feed me before you start reciting any more cheesy romance novel lines.
00:19:04I had to kill a guy for these.
00:19:06I hope you didn't get blood on them.
00:19:12Jesus, now what?
00:19:21Oh, come on.
00:19:22There was nothing sexy about that.
00:19:24I just stuffed my face with a breadstick.
00:19:26So, what are you so busy doing every day that you forget to eat?
00:19:34All I can say is that I was in the zone.
00:19:36You need to drink water.
00:19:41On a day that you didn't faint into my arms, you could have a beer first.
00:19:44But please, for my own sanity, will you drink some water first?
00:19:59Now, tell me what you're doing every day.
00:20:04Think of this as a safe space.
00:20:08Nothing will be held against you.
00:20:12And you've been doing this for over three weeks now?
00:20:15Basically.
00:20:16But why won't you tell me what you're writing?
00:20:20Because it weirds people out.
00:20:22I won't judge.
00:20:23You'll judge.
00:20:25Well, if you tell me you're writing the next Game of Thrones, we'll basically have to get
00:20:30married and live happily ever after.
00:20:32It's not the next Game of Thrones, but thank you for the most romantic proposal I've ever
00:20:37received.
00:20:38You get a lot of proposals?
00:20:42Yeah.
00:20:44Only from guys with issues.
00:20:46I don't have issues.
00:20:49Where were you born?
00:20:52Utah.
00:20:54What brought you here?
00:20:57Tech school.
00:20:58Did you know anyone when you moved out here?
00:21:01I followed this girl.
00:21:05What was she like?
00:21:06I don't want to talk about her.
00:21:07Oh, yikes.
00:21:10Did I just stumble on a sore spot?
00:21:11Say the word and I'll stop.
00:21:12Word.
00:21:13Got it.
00:21:13No ex-girlfriend talk.
00:21:17I mean, I'm over her, but I just don't like to think about her.
00:21:20I totally get it.
00:21:23Douchebag ex-boyfriend over here.
00:21:30So what do you do when you're not working?
00:21:32I like to ride my motorcycle, hike, read.
00:21:40Occasionally, I go to the lake.
00:21:41Hmm.
00:21:42Cool.
00:21:43Well, I'll make sure to go shopping for my Harley this weekend.
00:21:46You do that.
00:21:49Come on.
00:21:49Let's get you back to the shop before I start boring you with why you should get an Indian
00:21:53instead of a Harley.
00:21:54Mechanic talk.
00:21:57Sounds kinky.
00:21:57Okay.
00:22:27With weights and treadmills, it's born in powerful, grungy garages where men, real fucking men, work with their hands.
00:22:57Another week of work down.
00:23:05You look hyper-focused.
00:23:07Yeah.
00:23:08I, um, I got a new book idea today.
00:23:13Any big plans for the weekend?
00:23:15My buddy and I might go to the Golden Gate Park tomorrow.
00:23:18We try to camp and hit this great hiking trail there every summer.
00:23:22Sounds fun.
00:23:23Super masculine.
00:23:26What about you?
00:23:28Oh, I will probably do some more writing.
00:23:32Sounds exciting.
00:23:33Oh, it is.
00:23:34Well, you have a good weekend.
00:23:40I have no idea why I just kissed you on the cheek.
00:23:44That was really inappropriate.
00:23:46No worries here.
00:23:48Endless dirty thoughts live rent-free in my mind.
00:23:51I swear I'm usually a lot smoother than this.
00:23:54Don't worry.
00:23:55Your book boyfriend status is still very much secure.
00:23:59See you Monday, Mercedes.
00:24:03See you at the coffee machine.
00:24:12Cheers, buddy.
00:24:13Cheers.
00:24:18What are you waiting for, bro?
00:24:19She tells you she has dirty thoughts and you don't think, yeah, I'm gonna tap her.
00:24:25Nah, she's too cool for a random hookup.
00:24:27Then I'd have to see her every day in the comfort center.
00:24:30It would be awkward.
00:24:32Wait, you just don't go in there anymore after you bang her.
00:24:35Boom, problem solved.
00:24:37Two?
00:24:38I like seeing her.
00:24:43Oh, my gosh, thank you.
00:24:48Is that that same red hair?
00:24:52Yeah.
00:24:54Ooh.
00:24:57I'll visit you in jail.
00:24:59What?
00:25:00Yeah, when you get arrested for killing that guy, I will visit you in jail.
00:25:07Dude, I thought you were just friends with this girl.
00:25:10I am.
00:25:12Wouldn't fucking cool it, bro.
00:25:15Hey, Miles.
00:25:16Hey, Mercedes.
00:25:18Fancy seeing you here.
00:25:20Thought you were going camping.
00:25:21I thought you were riding.
00:25:25Girl needs a break sometimes.
00:25:28I'll find a coffee shop tomorrow.
00:25:31This is my buddy, Sam.
00:25:34Hey.
00:25:35Nice to meet you.
00:25:36Hi.
00:25:37Mercedes.
00:25:38Right.
00:25:39Mercedes.
00:25:41Well, I will...
00:25:43Can I buy you a drink?
00:25:44Drink sounds good.
00:25:47Uh, here.
00:25:48Take my spot.
00:25:49I'm going to go say hi to a friend.
00:25:51He's the DJ tonight.
00:25:53Thanks.
00:25:54Nice to meet you.
00:25:55Yeah, you too.
00:25:59What's your poison?
00:26:00What's your poison?
00:26:10Miles.
00:26:12Mercedes.
00:26:14Why haven't you asked me to hang out again since we had pizza together?
00:26:19Tire Depot seems safer.
00:26:21Safer.
00:26:24Meaning that I won't run into you and break my computer again?
00:26:29Something like that.
00:26:32So what are your plans really tonight?
00:26:35You just hanging out with Sam?
00:26:36Or are you guys on the hunt?
00:26:38On the hunt?
00:26:40For tail.
00:26:42A one-night stand that gets really awkward in the morning because she wants to make you pancakes.
00:26:47But you would rather chew your arm off and sneak out before she wakes up.
00:26:51Something like that.
00:26:54I could tell that about you.
00:26:56How?
00:26:56It's my business.
00:27:02So, what's your type?
00:27:04Draws your eye.
00:27:05What are we working with here?
00:27:08I don't know.
00:27:12Brunettes, I guess.
00:27:14My ex was a blonde.
00:27:16No more blondes.
00:27:17Brunettes it is.
00:27:19Let's see.
00:27:19Not my friend Lindsay.
00:27:23She already dated my friend Dean and it was so awkward for months after.
00:27:29What about her?
00:27:32Nah, I try to avoid packs.
00:27:34There's always one friend who cock blocks.
00:27:36One friend who tries to steal the guy.
00:27:38And one friend who slut shames the other two.
00:27:41Man.
00:27:42Girls can be mean.
00:27:44You're telling me.
00:27:47What about you?
00:27:50Why aren't you on the hunt?
00:27:52You said you're over your ex, right?
00:27:53Oh, I totally am.
00:27:55He is vile.
00:27:56And your friend Dean isn't a prospect?
00:27:58No way.
00:28:02He is my neighbor.
00:28:03And he reminds me of my brother.
00:28:06Uh-huh.
00:28:08You know what?
00:28:08You're right, Miles.
00:28:10I should totally find a random hookup tonight.
00:28:13Well, I never said anything about random.
00:28:15Well, you're doing it, so why can't I?
00:28:17You don't seem like the random type.
00:28:20Well, maybe I should be.
00:28:28Can I tell you a secret, Miles?
00:28:37You can tell me anything, Mercedes.
00:28:44My writing makes me horny.
00:28:46I'm sorry, what?
00:28:48I'm serious.
00:28:50I have a sex toy that works really fast and really well.
00:28:53But sometimes I just miss the heat of a man, you know?
00:28:58Not really.
00:29:00I'm the heat of a woman.
00:29:03You know what I'm talking about?
00:29:05The heat.
00:29:07You might have to elaborate with great detail.
00:29:11You asked for it.
00:29:16The heat of a woman is so much more than temperature.
00:29:20It's her soft, sensual curves.
00:29:25The way that your fingers dig into the meat of her thighs when she's wrapped around you.
00:29:31The delicate little bumps on her ribcage when she's throwing her head back in pleasure.
00:29:36Tight little nipples.
00:29:39And pillows of creamy softness.
00:29:41The fact that you could fold your body around her and envelop her almost entirely and still want more.
00:29:54That kind of heat.
00:29:55You're totally right, Veronica.
00:30:05Damn it.
00:30:06I didn't want you to know.
00:30:08Why not?
00:30:09What's the big secret?
00:30:11Because it'll change the way that you look at me.
00:30:14How so?
00:30:15You'll either think that I'm some kind of sex freak.
00:30:18Or you'll be embarrassed by what I do and not want to tell anyone.
00:30:23Are you joking?
00:30:24Well, your buddy doesn't count.
00:30:25He's probably a hornball.
00:30:27I mean anyone that is important to you.
00:30:32It's a big reason why my ex and I broke up.
00:30:35He asked me to lie to his family about what I did for a living.
00:30:38What a fucker.
00:30:40Yes.
00:30:42But I write some really kinky shit.
00:30:44It's not exactly easy to tell your grandma about.
00:30:47I would tell my grandma about you.
00:30:49You would not.
00:30:51I fucking would.
00:30:52Grandmas hate me.
00:30:54My grandma hates me.
00:30:55She's really religious and every time that I come home she tries to arrange for a meeting with me and her priest.
00:31:01She thinks that I need an intervention or an exorcism or something.
00:31:05I'm sorry, that's not funny.
00:31:07It's kind of funny.
00:31:08Come with me.
00:31:18Where are we going?
00:31:19Calling my grandma.
00:31:20No, Miles, are you insane?
00:31:22It's after midnight.
00:31:23She loves me.
00:31:23I'm her favorite.
00:31:26Okay, okay.
00:31:27We'll call my sister.
00:31:28Miles, what are you doing?
00:31:29Too late.
00:31:33Hello?
00:31:34Meg?
00:31:35I want to ask you a question.
00:31:36Why is it so loud?
00:31:40Miles, how is it possible for you to call for me from 500 miles away?
00:31:44Big Brother Intuition.
00:31:45Just ask your question.
00:31:47Okay, so I met this girl.
00:31:48She's super fucking hot.
00:31:50Grubbs, Miles.
00:31:51Sorry, okay.
00:31:52So she writes sexy books, like that's her job.
00:31:55Dirty, kinky shit, I think.
00:31:57And she was saying that grandmothers hated her.
00:32:00And I said our grandma would be totally into it.
00:32:03True or false?
00:32:04Duh, Grams is a freak.
00:32:05Totally true.
00:32:11So, who is this girl?
00:32:13I want to read her stuff.
00:32:15I'll find out.
00:32:17But I'll call you back, mate.
00:32:19Don't fuck that dude tonight.
00:32:20Okay.
00:32:20What happened?
00:32:25What did I say?
00:32:25What are we doing?
00:32:28I don't know.
00:32:28I just kissed you, I guess.
00:32:30Yes, you did.
00:32:31And as hot as that was, we have to stop.
00:32:34Right.
00:32:35We're in public.
00:32:38I like you, Mercedes, but I'm not in the position to like someone right now.
00:32:43Wait, what?
00:32:44After everything that you just said with your sister?
00:32:53Got it.
00:32:54Well, I'm sorry to put you through such a difficult situation.
00:32:58Mercedes, wait.
00:32:59I don't want things to be weird.
00:33:02Well, you shouldn't have flirted with me then.
00:33:05See you around, Miles.
00:33:06Miles.
00:33:14Why are you here?
00:33:21Oh, my God.
00:33:23What is that horrible smell?
00:33:25It's nothing.
00:33:27Wait, wait.
00:33:27Is that a tire-scented candle?
00:33:29No.
00:33:30Ah!
00:33:30Ah!
00:33:31Ah!
00:33:31Stop it!
00:33:32You're going to make me so whack so much more!
00:33:34Let go so I can see what you're hiding!
00:33:36No!
00:33:37Kate!
00:33:38Hello?
00:33:39Ah!
00:33:40Ah!
00:33:42Ah!
00:33:42Ah!
00:33:42Ah!
00:33:43Ah!
00:33:43Ah!
00:33:43Ah!
00:33:44Don't stop on my account.
00:33:45Oh, burnt rubber-scented soy candle?
00:33:49Uh-uh.
00:33:50Can you believe this is a thing?
00:33:51Jesus, H.
00:33:53You got it bad, Kate.
00:33:54I know!
00:33:55I can't write a damn word, and all I want to do is go back to Tire Depot.
00:33:59Then go!
00:34:01So you kissed him and he turned you down?
00:34:04Big deal!
00:34:05What are you, in the seventh grade?
00:34:07Go back to the Tire Depot!
00:34:08She has a point, Kate.
00:34:09It'll be awkward for a day, three tops.
00:34:11He'll probably stay in the garage and ignore you.
00:34:14You're right.
00:34:18My house smells like shit now, too.
00:34:22Fine.
00:34:23I'll go back.
00:34:24But only because burnt rubber is not the same as new rubber.
00:34:27So we rotate and balance the wires, but the rattling sound that you were hearing is that I'm not going to leave.
00:34:36I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:39I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:40I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:41I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:42I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:43I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:44I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:45I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:46I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:47I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:48I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:49I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:50I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:51I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:52I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:53I'm not going to move on to those two.
00:34:54How's the book coming?
00:35:16Coming along.
00:35:18This is the point in the story where I rip the couple apart
00:35:21and ruin everything they thought they knew about each other.
00:35:24Ouch.
00:35:26Can't they just be happy?
00:35:28What's dramatic about happy?
00:35:30My readers like the pain, the torture.
00:35:35Makes them make up sex that much better.
00:35:39You know, my sister texted me.
00:35:42She asked for your full author name so she could look you up.
00:35:45Really?
00:35:46I warned you.
00:35:47We are a family full of readers.
00:35:49You're going to laugh.
00:35:55I was drunk when I came up with it.
00:35:58My full pen name is Mercedes Lee Loveletter.
00:36:02What's your real last name?
00:36:10It's Smith.
00:36:14Also, I write a lot of BDSM.
00:36:16So does this mean we don't have to be awkward?
00:36:24Yeah.
00:36:25Friends.
00:36:27Good.
00:36:28Because as a friend, I was wondering if you might be able to help me with some research for my next book.
00:36:35What did you have in mind?
00:36:37You're going to throw your leg over, but don't let your ankles touch this area here.
00:36:40Got it.
00:36:48It'll make me feel better if you wear it.
00:36:50It'll protect you a little.
00:36:57Okay, get on.
00:37:10Okay, you ready?
00:37:12Ready.
00:37:15Woo!
00:37:15Woo!
00:37:15Woo!
00:37:20Chica, chica, chica, chica, boom.
00:37:23Boom!
00:37:23Chica, Chica, Chica, Chica, Boom
00:37:53I thought that was incredible.
00:38:02You weren't scared?
00:38:04No. Was I supposed to be?
00:38:06My ex hated this thing.
00:38:07Your ex is a fool.
00:38:09I mean, I understand that motorcycles are dangerous,
00:38:12but the danger is what makes it exciting.
00:38:14You took the words right out of my mouth.
00:38:16Unfortunately, my ex liked a different kind of danger.
00:38:21Do you want to tell me what you mean by that,
00:38:23or do you want to say a word again?
00:38:26My ex loved the cheating kind of danger.
00:38:30Yikes.
00:38:32It wasn't just one guy.
00:38:34That's the hardest part.
00:38:36How you can bald-faced lie to someone you care about,
00:38:39that's not the fun kind of danger for me.
00:38:41Not at all.
00:38:44I'm so sorry.
00:38:47It's fine.
00:38:48I blame myself for not walking away sooner.
00:38:50She made me a jealous head case with baggage for days.
00:38:55Yeah.
00:38:57Jealousy is the worst.
00:38:59Although, I will tell you, from a writer's standpoint,
00:39:03readers love a possessive man.
00:39:05Is that right?
00:39:06So I should be thanking my ex for making me a possessive asshole?
00:39:09God, no.
00:39:10She sounds like too much of an asshole to get any credit
00:39:13for the man you are today.
00:39:15Well, your ex sounded like an asshole too.
00:39:18I still can't believe he made you lie about your job to his family.
00:39:21Right?
00:39:23Why did we ever date them?
00:39:25I ask myself that all the time.
00:39:27I guess you could say that if we didn't go through all that,
00:39:37then we might not be here, enjoying this awesome view.
00:39:43You're missing something really beautiful.
00:39:45No, I'm not.
00:39:52I can't figure you out, Miles.
00:39:55I can't figure me out either.
00:39:57How's it going?
00:40:14No way.
00:40:15You just finished?
00:40:16I just finished.
00:40:19Congratulations, Mercedes.
00:40:21Couldn't have done it without you, Miles.
00:40:23We should celebrate.
00:40:24Buy you a drink?
00:40:25Actually, I'm having a little The End party at my house on Friday.
00:40:30I want to come by.
00:40:32I'd love to.
00:40:33Great.
00:40:43Don't forget to call me Mercedes tonight.
00:40:45Mercedes!
00:40:46Woo!
00:40:47See? Hi, everyone!
00:40:49Woo!
00:40:50Mercedes is doing a keg stand to celebrate finishing her book!
00:40:53What?
00:40:54No way!
00:40:55Mercedes is not doing a keg stand because you made me buy that shitty IPA.
00:40:58Mercedes likes light beer and complimentary coffee and running sex books!
00:41:03Yeah!
00:41:04Woo!
00:41:05And hard and fast wall sex!
00:41:07Yeah!
00:41:08Woo!
00:41:09And a formal scene where a guy takes off a girl's panties and fingers them in his tuxedo pocket all night long!
00:41:14That was really specific for you!
00:41:15Miles!
00:41:16I'm gonna go get a drink.
00:41:17Uh, I'm gonna follow that guy.
00:41:19I'm Lindsay.
00:41:20Best friend and, uh, neighbor.
00:41:21There's my tiki bar over there.
00:41:22Can I get you something to drink?
00:41:23I'm Miles.
00:41:24Thanks.
00:41:25I'm good for now.
00:41:26Okay.
00:41:27I'm gonna follow those guys.
00:41:28Bye!
00:41:29Can we go somewhere and talk?
00:41:30I'm gonna go get a drink.
00:41:31Uh, I'm gonna follow that guy.
00:41:34I'm Lindsay.
00:41:35Best friend and, uh, neighbor.
00:41:36There's my tiki bar over there.
00:41:37Can I get you something to drink?
00:41:38I'm Miles.
00:41:39Thanks.
00:41:40I'm good for now.
00:41:41Okay.
00:41:42I'm gonna follow those guys.
00:41:43Bye!
00:41:44Can we go somewhere and talk?
00:41:45I'm Miles.
00:41:46Thanks.
00:41:47I'm good for now.
00:41:48Okay.
00:41:49I'm gonna follow those guys.
00:41:50Bye!
00:41:51Can we go somewhere and talk?
00:41:55Sure.
00:41:58You have a roommate?
00:42:13Kind of.
00:42:16So it's a guy?
00:42:18Yes.
00:42:20Figures.
00:42:22It's not that Dean guy, right?
00:42:24You said he's your neighbor?
00:42:25He is my neighbor.
00:42:26It's not Dean.
00:42:27Then who is it?
00:42:28No one.
00:42:29I'm sorry.
00:42:30I should just go.
00:42:31My roommate, uh, is gay.
00:42:34Seriously?
00:42:35And he's out of town for the summer, so...
00:42:46Why are you acting like this?
00:42:50I thought you only wanted to be friends.
00:42:52It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.
00:43:07What can I do to help?
00:43:13I'm overprotective.
00:43:14I'm overbearing.
00:43:15Arrogant.
00:43:16Okay.
00:43:17Pretty much everything I do is in the extreme.
00:43:22I try not to be jealous.
00:43:23I do.
00:43:24She...
00:43:25I'm not her.
00:43:26I know you're not her.
00:43:27I just really need you to not do things to make me jealous.
00:43:31Why?
00:43:32Because it'll make me want to fuck you so you don't ever want to look at another guy again.
00:43:42Prove it.
00:43:44I hope you know what you're asking for, Ed.
00:43:50Mercedes.
00:44:02Shirt thief?
00:44:22I've been looking for this shirt for ten minutes.
00:44:27Are you in a pancake mood, or cut your arm off and run with?
00:44:32I could eat.
00:44:34Go sit down.
00:44:50I feel like I need to tell you that I didn't come here last night to do that.
00:44:58Okay.
00:44:59I mean...
00:45:01Don't get me wrong.
00:45:02It was really good.
00:45:03Fucking great, actually.
00:45:04It was, wasn't it?
00:45:06But...
00:45:07I just...
00:45:08want you to know that wasn't my plan.
00:45:10Is this the part where you tell me that you're not in a position to like someone again?
00:45:16Maybe.
00:45:17It's fine.
00:45:18It is.
00:45:19This is no big deal, Miles.
00:45:20We had sex.
00:45:21You didn't ask me to go study.
00:45:22I'm not getting this twisted up.
00:45:23So you're good with this?
00:45:24Just being casual?
00:45:25Yeah.
00:45:26I'm a workaholic, so it's not like I have time to devote to a boyfriend.
00:45:29Hmm.
00:45:30Though I might need your help with some book research.
00:45:32Book research?
00:45:33I thought you were done.
00:45:34Oh, how little you know about writing.
00:45:35Oh, how little you know about writing.
00:45:36Tire Depot was the easy stuff.
00:45:37I want help with the bedroom stuff.
00:45:38Oh, how little you know about writing.
00:45:39Tire Depot was the easy stuff.
00:45:42I want help with the bedroom stuff.
00:45:43You write erotic novels.
00:45:44What more could you need to know?
00:45:45Okay.
00:45:46So for my new book, if you have a book, I would use a book to devote to a boyfriend.
00:45:49But I might need your help with some book research.
00:45:52Book research?
00:45:53I thought you were done.
00:45:54Oh, how little you know about writing.
00:45:57Tire Depot was the easy stuff.
00:46:04I want help with the bedroom stuff.
00:46:08You write erotic novels.
00:46:10okay so for my new book i want to write from a dual point of view so one chapter will be in the
00:46:17female voice and the next chapter will be in the male voice and i'll alternate between the two
00:46:22i know what dual point of view is mercedes okay sorry
00:46:29so i'm gonna need your help getting into the mind of a man
00:46:35should we start now i'd hate to see your education suffer
00:46:40actually since we're sticking with this whole friends with benefits thing
00:46:46i was wondering if you could help me with a little project first
00:46:51like a naked kind of project i mean you can be naked if you want to but it might not be safe
00:47:00could you help me move my roommate's downstairs and into a moving pod
00:47:05absolutely friends have to earn their benefits sometimes
00:47:15thanks oh my god hannah i have entered into a casual friends with benefits situation with a mechanic
00:47:22from tire depot who thinks my name is mercedes wait this is actually happening to you like in real life
00:47:27yes and i like him way more than just a friend so i'm in crisis mode what do i do besides phone him
00:47:34every chance you get yeah i mean my alter ego's taking the reins here i fully understand and i've
00:47:40kind of been avoiding him this week to sort of play cool so that he doesn't know that i like him which
00:47:44you do yes but i don't want him to know that i mean is this relationship worth me telling him my real
00:47:49name or is it just sex are you done i could use some sage advice here listen to me here's what you're
00:47:56gonna do you are gonna go camping camping camping why kate outdoorsy guys love that
00:48:06shit just tell him it's for book research and you need his help ooh that's good because i actually use
00:48:10that excuse perfect you're going to be adorable and fumbling and not know how to cast a fishing pole
00:48:17and he's going to realize how much fun it is to go camping and get to fuck in a tent by the end of
00:48:22the trip you'll know if you need to fish or cut bait you should be a writer oh i know this is good
00:48:28you're a genius i'm going camping just um let me know where i have the pizza delivered to ha ha bish
00:48:34hey kate you here for a cronut you know it it's gonna be a hot minute before the new badge is ready
00:48:39but go ahead and take a number and we'll bring them right out i'll take two and a cup of coffee you got it
00:48:48my dick misses you your dick is insatiable are you dry hoping me uh-huh tell me what you're thinking
00:48:57i want you naked and in a bed now how are the words flowing not as good as the other night you
00:49:04are soaking you're at the bakery i could think of something else i'd rather be eating let me take care
00:49:09of you come on my writer feeling inspired five thousand words in three hours it's tire depot magic right
00:49:22there maybe it's miles hudson magic
00:49:32oh jesus say hi dean oh i was literally standing there for almost five minutes i'm reading my text
00:49:40so what is so important that you had to see me i don't know what you mean we do this every week
00:49:51yeah you've never texted me three times the day of to make sure that i was coming
00:49:56dean dean
00:50:04i saw his truck outside your place a couple nights ago whose truck miles who else
00:50:10how do you know it was his truck because i don't know any other guys in boulder who would
00:50:16drive a beastly vehicle like that oh my god you're such a snob
00:50:21so he spent the night what did you come back and check in the morning maybe stop worrying
00:50:32we're just fooling around it's nothing serious that is exactly what i'm worried about the guy
00:50:38rejected you once already thank you for reminding me any guy that jerks you around like that is an
00:50:44idiot he's not an idiot he's a mechanic at a tire depot how bright can he be are you kidding me
00:50:51hey just calm down coming from a high school dropout
00:50:56i got my ged and i am self-educated in what being an asshat i surround myself with people who
00:51:05are inclusive and non-judgmental because i have a weird job i don't want judgy friends in my corner
00:51:12because that would make me a hypocrite and miles is so encouraging about what i do more encouraging
00:51:18than you have ever been and he's not dumb at all he's actually really insightful and you might see
00:51:27that if you quit looking down your nose at people don't go kate no i'm sorry but if you're gonna start
00:51:35acting like this then i don't see how we can continue to be friends kate
00:51:43i like you yeah well i liked you too until you started acting like a douche nozzle
00:51:48no i mean i really like you and i oh shit i don't think it's something i can ignore anymore
00:51:58i mean
00:52:02how long a couple years but i was with lindsey and you were with that douchebag dryston
00:52:10why didn't you tell me i didn't want to be a rebound you're hooking up with a guy who still
00:52:16doesn't even know your real name how do you think that's gonna end he wants it casual but i want the
00:52:24whole thing the good the bad all of it i'm sorry dean but i just don't feel the same way
00:52:33but you are one of my best friends and i don't want to change that
00:52:43i need you to go but why we all have our own little places and this is my tire depot please
00:52:55i am sorry dean
00:53:13hey who's that a carburetor
00:53:17what does it do um kind of a lot do you really want to know yes well it mixes the proper ratio
00:53:32of gas and air inside of an engine for combustion to occur nowadays most cars have fuel injectors but
00:53:38the classics still run on these puppies interesting it's kind of like how a candle needs oxygen to burn
00:53:48combustion of an engine can't take place without the air the carburetor brings in
00:53:55kind of like how
00:53:59an orgasm can't be achieved without friction sure you could draw that parallel
00:54:07i would like to draw that parallel soon did you have something in mind
00:54:11watch your step up here
00:54:20oh smells so good
00:54:23miles this is perfect
00:54:24i didn't know girls could be this excited about camping well don't judge a book by its cover mister
00:54:29look there's a path that leads right to the water perfect come on we got work to do gotta set up camp
00:54:41this looks brand new
00:54:52yeah i just do a sleeping bag usually
00:54:55so you bought this for me it's not only for you this will save my knees big time
00:55:04you're such a horny bastard says the smut writer
00:55:08seriously seriously take your shorts off
00:55:24i figured you were thirsty we've earned these yeah camping is hard
00:55:37mountain air suits you
00:55:46i'm just in a good mood
00:55:48it's amazing how much nicer life is with no drama
00:55:51do you ever talk to your ex
00:55:58not a word and that's good
00:56:03you never told me how you found out she was cheating on you
00:56:06she got pregnant with some rich old guy's kid we were on a break at the time
00:56:13wow the layers
00:56:16do you think that she got pregnant on purpose no
00:56:25yes i don't know probably i have to wonder what kind of a would i was to not really realize
00:56:33she was always money obsessed thought being a mechanic was too blue color
00:56:38wanted me to make more money
00:56:41you seem like you're doing just fine to me see thank you
00:56:46i'm just pissed off i wasted the best years of my life with her
00:56:49who said they were the best years and look around you miles it's a pretty beautiful day
00:56:56you want for nothing that is an incredible quality in a person
00:57:03and i mean look at you you're smoking hot you got a great job house friends really sexy fuck buddy
00:57:11thank you so don't sweat the past focus on the now seriously right now my bobber disappeared several
00:57:23minutes ago and i don't know it
00:57:24shit you got a bite
00:57:25are you kidding me i got a bicycle tire what the hell colorado way to keep it classy my hands hurt
00:57:41surely you could see the irony in this babe you got a tire this is kismet
00:57:52the truth or dare
00:58:07truth do you ever get horny in the garage at tire depot what
00:58:12you're working on a customer's car and your hands are getting really dirty and you're just really
00:58:25digging in there and you just
00:58:26i'm afraid not damn
00:58:38but classic car work on the other hand
00:58:42if i'm working on one of those and an old car that hasn't run in decades and suddenly roars to life
00:58:47then hell yes rock solid
00:58:55i knew it perverts attract perverts
00:58:58okay truth or dare dare
00:59:10dare
00:59:11ooh somebody has secrets
00:59:13shut up
00:59:15skinny dip in the lake
00:59:18the lake that birthed my blessed tire no way
00:59:22who knows what the hell else is in that thing
00:59:24it's fine
00:59:25it's fine
00:59:25i knew you wouldn't do it
00:59:27all talk and no action
00:59:31um need i remind you who has been
00:59:35sneaking into tire depot for weeks now
00:59:38you call that dangerous
00:59:40i am consuming complimentary beverages without service miles
00:59:45that is just as bad as leaving
00:59:47such a cold hard criminal
00:59:49okay
00:59:51fine i'll do it
00:59:53but you have to do it with me
00:59:55and why would i do that
00:59:57because i'll be naked
00:59:58okay
01:00:10woohoo
01:00:28Mercedes, do you feel like, do you feel that, feel what, oh my god, that's freezing,
01:00:58oh my god, good morning, good morning,
01:01:28you've been busy this morning, yeah, it's a muddy mess, so I figured we should head back early,
01:01:41oh, okay, what can I do to help,
01:01:47I forgot the pancake mix, don't read into that,
01:02:17well, thanks for the help with the research, anytime, you okay, I'm just tired,
01:02:27shouldn't have gotten the mattress pad,
01:02:30looks like you got company, I'll see you later Mercedes,
01:02:39okay, bye,
01:02:47hi Dean, hey Kate,
01:02:53want to come in for some coffee,
01:02:58is it complimentary,
01:02:59for people who aren't assholes, it is,
01:03:05nothing to say about that loud muffler on Miles's truck,
01:03:13surprised you know what a muffler is,
01:03:15learning,
01:03:18I am too,
01:03:20I'm really sorry Kate,
01:03:23come on in then,
01:03:28did you spend the night at Miles's house last night,
01:03:34are you really asking that,
01:03:36I'm just making small talk Kate, I promise,
01:03:40no judgment,
01:03:40we were camping,
01:03:43camping,
01:03:44it was for book research,
01:03:45and it was really fun,
01:03:47writing something different,
01:03:50trying to,
01:03:52inspiration must be flowing,
01:03:55it has its moments,
01:03:56and Miles is the guy that brings this out in you,
01:04:01he's certainly not hurting things,
01:04:03so different for me,
01:04:06Dean, look,
01:04:10I never had a clue,
01:04:12that you had feelings for me,
01:04:13if I had,
01:04:14I would have done so many things differently,
01:04:16like what,
01:04:18I don't know,
01:04:19maybe,
01:04:21come over less often,
01:04:23I'm sorry,
01:04:26if I led you to believe otherwise,
01:04:27you were just being yourself,
01:04:31it's pretty magnetic,
01:04:33it's weird to get a compliment,
01:04:36from someone you just rejected,
01:04:37I think that if you really like him,
01:04:44you need to come clean,
01:04:45start by telling him your real name,
01:04:47and end with the fact,
01:04:48that you still live with your ex Kate,
01:04:50the longer you wait,
01:04:51the harder it'll be,
01:04:52but I moved his stuff out at least,
01:04:54if he really cares,
01:04:56he'll forgive you,
01:04:58I'm telling you this as your friend,
01:05:02so we're still friends,
01:05:04only if I can still wear my fancy pants,
01:05:07done,
01:05:08we've been here five minutes,
01:05:11how much longer do you need,
01:05:12it's a fucking tire,
01:05:14how long can it take,
01:05:15just checking the warranty,
01:05:17sir,
01:05:17if for some reason,
01:05:19your tire isn't repairable,
01:05:20we'd have to,
01:05:21why can't my tire be repaired,
01:05:22well if there's a puncture,
01:05:23and the sidewall,
01:05:24those aren't fixable unfortunately,
01:05:26so we'd have to go in,
01:05:27what a rip off,
01:05:28who's a manager,
01:05:29I want to talk to them right now,
01:05:31bro,
01:05:32who's that chick,
01:05:34she's a customer service ref,
01:05:36perfect,
01:05:37we'll take her,
01:05:38I'm afraid you don't get to pick,
01:05:41yeah,
01:05:43I think we could,
01:05:44if we wanted to,
01:05:45hey,
01:05:46this isn't ordering a girl,
01:05:47off the fucking internet moron,
01:05:49do you want your fucking tire fixed or not,
01:05:52buddy,
01:05:52manager,
01:05:54now,
01:05:56just go back to the shop,
01:05:57I'll let my uncle deal with these guys,
01:05:58okay,
01:05:58yeah,
01:06:00why don't you go back to the shop,
01:06:01let your boy talk to this out,
01:06:03what kind of business are you running,
01:06:05whoa,
01:06:12whoa,
01:06:12whoa,
01:06:12whoa,
01:06:13what'd that licorice ever do to you,
01:06:15nothing,
01:06:18what's going on with you,
01:06:22you look ready to,
01:06:24rip someone's head off,
01:06:25nice dress,
01:06:33nice dress,
01:06:33you like it,
01:06:37so long as you don't twirl in it,
01:06:42what is wrong with you,
01:06:48nothing,
01:06:51just some entitled customers getting on my nerves,
01:06:54do me a favor and don't go into the customer comfort center today,
01:06:59okay,
01:07:01sure,
01:07:02would me going over to yours tonight cheer you up,
01:07:07what's the matter,
01:07:08after work maybe,
01:07:10I want to see your house,
01:07:12specifically your garage,
01:07:15you know,
01:07:16research,
01:07:17get our hands dirty,
01:07:19fine,
01:07:19wow,
01:07:26Moody's kind of hot on you,
01:07:27oh my god Miles,
01:07:36this is stunning,
01:07:381965 Ford pickup,
01:07:40got the paint done last month,
01:07:42interior last week,
01:07:43all she needs now is a new carburetor,
01:07:46for combustion,
01:07:48you remember that,
01:07:49duh,
01:07:51the orgasm of the engine,
01:07:54well it might take a while,
01:07:57I can't find the right one to save my life,
01:08:00they're pretty rare,
01:08:01and expensive,
01:08:03you said it was your grandpa's,
01:08:06looks like it belongs in a Pixar film,
01:08:10yeah,
01:08:12he passed away two years ago,
01:08:15I'm so sorry to hear that,
01:08:17he was 77,
01:08:18so,
01:08:19he had a solid run,
01:08:22thought he was gonna live forever,
01:08:29hey,
01:08:30he always kept little candies,
01:08:31in the glove box,
01:08:32you want one?
01:08:32oh,
01:08:34no,
01:08:34no,
01:08:35no,
01:08:36those were your grandpa's,
01:08:38they should stay where they are,
01:08:40I wish I had it running already,
01:08:46it was sort of a dying promise I made to him,
01:08:52Joss always got pissed at me,
01:08:53when I worked on this truck,
01:08:55I feel bad I haven't finished it yet,
01:08:58Miles,
01:09:00look at this thing,
01:09:03it's art,
01:09:05and you've already done so much to it,
01:09:07he would have loved you,
01:09:10oh,
01:09:13oh,
01:09:13oh,
01:09:13yeah,
01:09:13yeah,
01:09:14you're real,
01:09:16you don't put on a show for people,
01:09:20everything you say is exactly what you are,
01:09:26he would have loved your name too,
01:09:28Mercedes,
01:09:30hot cars,
01:09:33well,
01:09:33the
01:09:54the
01:09:56the
01:10:00the
01:10:01Just the same thing the other day.
01:10:18Uh, yeah, anyway, we were on leave.
01:10:24Honey, I'm home.
01:10:26Oh, shit.
01:10:28Dryston.
01:10:31Hi, Katie.
01:10:32Give us a hug.
01:10:34Best entrepreneurs in the state of Colorado.
01:10:37That's right, man.
01:10:39Dude, are you even listening to me?
01:10:42Yeah, sorry.
01:10:44Your uncle wants to see you buy him out.
01:10:45That's fucking awesome.
01:10:47It's awesome for both of us.
01:10:52I want you by my side.
01:10:54Maybe as manager or fucking parts director.
01:10:59Maybe you can even open that vintage car garage under the Tire Depot umbrella.
01:11:05Work on classic cars more often.
01:11:08Put your granddad's truck in our showroom.
01:11:11Damn.
01:11:12We'd add up everything under one roof.
01:11:14Tires, auto repair, antique car restorations.
01:11:17I'm getting hard just thinking about it.
01:11:23I guess that wouldn't suck.
01:11:26Come on, man.
01:11:28I thought this would cheer you up.
01:11:31It is.
01:11:31It does.
01:11:32I'm happy for you.
01:11:33It's just, Mercedes hasn't texted me back in days and that's unlike her.
01:11:42You're pining after your fuck buddy.
01:11:45She's not a fuck buddy.
01:11:47Watch how you fucking speak about her.
01:11:49I'm not joking.
01:11:50Okay.
01:11:50Okay.
01:11:53But don't let that girl get in your head and force you to miss out on a great opportunity.
01:11:59Come on.
01:12:05Let's go celebrate.
01:12:12Dryston is back.
01:12:13Shut up.
01:12:14What did you say?
01:12:16I told him that his stuff is in storage.
01:12:18I was changing the locks.
01:12:20I'll pay him the deposit and that I'm not moving.
01:12:24Good for you.
01:12:24You finally got Dryston out of your life for good and it was about damn time.
01:12:30Now I just have to come clean to Miles about my name.
01:12:37I've been avoiding him until this Dryston stuff got sorted.
01:12:41Real life is so much more complicated than fiction.
01:12:45I just want a real life romance.
01:12:47You got this.
01:12:48I've got nothing except a full bladder.
01:12:51I'm going to go pee and get this rebuild.
01:12:54Yes, please.
01:12:54God damn, Katie.
01:13:04Did you look this good when I left?
01:13:07Did you follow me here?
01:13:09I didn't have to.
01:13:10It's her favorite spot.
01:13:11Oh, this is so typical.
01:13:13What?
01:13:14You come crawling into town and think that you can get whatever you want.
01:13:19What?
01:13:20I don't remember your tits looking this good.
01:13:24I need a refresher.
01:13:25Don't be a pig, Dryston.
01:13:27Don't be a bitch, Katie.
01:13:28Hey, what's up, bro?
01:13:36Dude, long time no see.
01:13:37How you been?
01:13:37All right, Ben.
01:13:39Yeah.
01:13:43Miles, what are you doing here?
01:13:46Here with my buddy.
01:13:48What about you?
01:13:48Oh, I'm here with Kate.
01:13:51What are the odds?
01:13:53Who's Kate?
01:13:59Fuck.
01:13:59I said your stuff is in storage, Dryston.
01:14:04You can be a real bitch, you know that?
01:14:06What the fuck did you just call her?
01:14:10Excuse you?
01:14:11Excuse you.
01:14:12I won't ask again.
01:14:13This conversation has nothing to do with you, Wrenchhead.
01:14:16Dryston.
01:14:17You were the asshole at Tire Depot the other day.
01:14:20You know this fuckwit, Mercedes?
01:14:22You think her name is Mercedes.
01:14:25I was going to tell you everything.
01:14:27Tell me what?
01:14:28Who the fuck is this guy?
01:14:29He's no one.
01:14:30No, no.
01:14:31I just live with you.
01:14:32This is your gay roommate?
01:14:35I didn't fuck her like I was gay.
01:14:37Miles, please let me explain.
01:14:40Yeah, Katie.
01:14:41Why don't you explain?
01:14:43Why is he calling you Katie?
01:14:44Because that's her real name, moron.
01:14:47Mercedes is basically the hooker name.
01:14:48She made up to write those stupid, trashy books.
01:14:51Call her fucking name again and you will regret it.
01:14:53Miles, don't.
01:14:54No, no.
01:14:55You couldn't have the trashy cunt.
01:14:57She's not suitable for mixed company anyway.
01:14:59Oh!
01:15:00Oh!
01:15:03Oh!
01:15:05Oh!
01:15:05Oh!
01:15:12Miles, I can explain.
01:15:14Don't talk to me.
01:15:15Miles, I need to explain.
01:15:17What, Mercedes?
01:15:18Or is it Katie?
01:15:20It's Kate.
01:15:21Explain why I punched a guy in the face for a girl whose name I don't even know.
01:15:24I was going to tell you.
01:15:27After I fell in love with you?
01:15:31I'm still the same person, Miles.
01:15:32I am just as much Mercedes as I am Kate.
01:15:34Don't fucking lie about it.
01:15:36Because with my ex, I got used to hiding that part of myself.
01:15:39But with you, I've never had to, not once.
01:15:42Kate Smith is who I am when I'm not telling people what I do.
01:15:48And what happened with your sister?
01:15:50That's something that's never happened to me before.
01:15:52You lied to me.
01:15:54Even when you knew about my past, you had plenty of chances to open up.
01:15:58Do you know what a fucking idiot I feel like for calling Mercedes all this time?
01:16:01Every time we had sex, I'm a joke to you.
01:16:08You are not a joke.
01:16:10I am.
01:16:14I'm sorry.
01:16:15I got carried away.
01:16:18I liked you so much.
01:16:20I've always liked you as more than friends with benefits.
01:16:22And I thought that I could be this cool, casual Mercedes with no strings attached.
01:16:27But the truth is, is that I am just plain old boring Kate Smith.
01:16:31Who is totally falling for you, Miles Hudson.
01:16:36How can I even trust you?
01:16:39You're just as bad as my ex.
01:16:42I'm out, Kate, Mercedes, whoever you are.
01:16:46You can keep your drama, your lies, keep living your life as your author name, your real name, with your boyfriend, your ex-gay boyfriend.
01:16:53This is officially the end of our story.
01:17:02It's been two weeks.
01:17:04Oh, stop.
01:17:06He was upset.
01:17:07You made him feel like a fool.
01:17:09He'll get over it.
01:17:10He's not returning any of my calls.
01:17:12That's because you haven't made your grand gesture yet.
01:17:14Grand gesture?
01:17:15Mm-hmm.
01:17:17He's really good, Dean.
01:17:18Oh, thank you.
01:17:18What grand gesture?
01:17:20Kate, you write this stuff.
01:17:22Now you have to live it.
01:17:25You need to make a grand gesture that shows your hero that you care deeply.
01:17:29Wow, you know that you fucked up royally.
01:17:31You still know him.
01:17:32You know him and care about him.
01:17:34And the grandness of this gesture proves it.
01:17:37Wow, that was a mouthful.
01:17:39She's right, Kate.
01:17:40He cares about you, but it's got to be big.
01:17:43Any ideas?
01:17:53Yeah, turn here.
01:17:54Turn here.
01:17:55There's no turn.
01:17:56No, no turn.
01:17:56The map is wrong.
01:17:57We lost service like 10 minutes ago.
01:18:04We'll be right here.
01:18:31You got this.
01:18:34Mom's worried about you.
01:18:59What?
01:19:00You haven't emailed in two weeks.
01:19:01You know you do it like clockwork.
01:19:02Why are you calling so early?
01:19:07Is Joss there?
01:19:09No.
01:19:10Why would you think that?
01:19:12I don't know.
01:19:13Mom and I thought you might have gotten back together and didn't want to tell us.
01:19:16It's not Joss.
01:19:18I've been seeing that author girl.
01:19:20Oh, man, I didn't realize you were seeing her.
01:19:22I'm not.
01:19:23I mean, I was, but it's over now.
01:19:26Why?
01:19:28Because she lied to me about some shit.
01:19:31And I'm not bringing that noise back into my life.
01:19:34Been there, done that.
01:19:35Don't think that every girl that isn't perfect is like Jocelyn.
01:19:39Look, I don't know this girl, but I do know you.
01:19:42And you sounded so crazy happy that night you called me to talk about her.
01:19:46I was.
01:19:46Dude, I called mom the very next day to tell her about how different you sounded.
01:19:51We were excited.
01:19:53Seriously?
01:19:55Yeah, Joss was the worst.
01:19:57You were moody for years.
01:19:59This girl makes you happy?
01:20:00True or false?
01:20:01True.
01:20:02Then sometimes a little noise in your life is a good thing.
01:20:06When did you get so fucking insightful?
01:20:11When I started waking up earlier.
01:20:25Grand gesture.
01:20:36This can't be for me, Caddy.
01:20:40It's not.
01:20:42It's the carburetor that Miles needs to get his grandpa's truck running.
01:20:47Could you give it to him but not tell him it's for me, please?
01:20:51Are you kidding me?
01:20:52This thing costs a shitload of money.
01:20:54Where'd you find it?
01:20:56A Scottish footballer named Mack who lives in a creepy house in the mountains.
01:21:01What?
01:21:03Anyway, why don't you give it to him yourself?
01:21:06Because I don't want him back like that.
01:21:14Kate.
01:21:15Yeah?
01:21:16You know Miles paid my uncle every single week you were here, right?
01:21:24He what?
01:21:26My uncle owns this place.
01:21:29And Miles worked out a deal with him to look the other way when you came in all the time.
01:21:34I thought I was flying under the radar.
01:21:37No.
01:21:39Definitely not.
01:21:41Total Brooke boyfriend moment.
01:21:43What?
01:21:46Nothing.
01:21:48Where's Miles?
01:21:50Outside, stacking tires.
01:21:53Go put him out of his misery.
01:21:54Are you sure?
01:21:56Yes.
01:21:57Please.
01:21:58For the love of God, go.
01:22:07What are you doing here?
01:22:17Do you know what this is?
01:22:18Looks like a carburetor.
01:22:25Do you know for what kind of vehicle?
01:22:28I can't tell from here.
01:22:36It's a 1965 Ford F-100.
01:22:40Where did you get it?
01:22:49It's kind of a long, crazy story that included a rattlesnake.
01:22:56But I'm hoping it has a great ending.
01:22:59What kind of ending?
01:23:00The kind where you let me apologize for lying.
01:23:08I'm not your ex, Miles.
01:23:11I am Kate Smith.
01:23:14From Longmont, Colorado.
01:23:17Whose ex technically still lived with her until she changed the locks on him.
01:23:23Who's not some brave, erotic romance author who's cool with kink and casual relationships and using a mechanic for book research.
01:23:39I am just a girl who's been falling in love with a guy who works at Tire Depot.
01:23:49Who would really just like to go home with him and take a freaking shower.
01:23:57I like your ending so much better than mine.
01:24:06Have I just been upgraded from book boyfriend to real boyfriend?
01:24:09Yes.
01:24:11Then I can firmly say it was worth the wait, Miles.
01:24:14Yes.
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