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Daffy Duck Thanksgiving special full
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00:00Hmm, October. Very lean month. Oh, I did all right at trick-or-treating. After all, 2,000 abba-zabba's is not to be sneezed at.
00:09But nothing like last May, when I got everybody to mother me on Mother's Day. Or like last September, when I got everybody to labor for me on Labor Day.
00:17Hmm, not November. Not a great month since I remember it, for birds. Especially if you're a turkey or a goose. Or even a duck.
00:24But wait, just a turkey baston minute. Let's turn this thing around. If there is a will to turn something to your advantage, there is a way to turn something to your advantage.
00:34There, that's better. Thanks for Giving Day. The day when everybody thanks me for giving them so much joy and pleasure all these years.
00:54You're killing me! I'm being murdered! I can't stand this torture anymore! I'm dying! You're killing me!
01:06I'm telling you, J.L., you're typecasting me to death. Comedy. All this comedy. Ha-ha!
01:11Yes, yes! Honest, J.L., you've just got to give me a dramatic part.
01:16No!
01:16I knew you'd see it my way, J.L., and it just so happens that I have with me the very script that we've been looking for.
01:22Absolutely not.
01:24Let's see now. Where to begin? Oh, yes!
01:26The Dodgers and the Return of the Twenty-Fourth and a Half Century.
01:32Chapter One. Once upon a time. Great opening, huh?
01:36No! It's not a great opening, and you're not going to do that idiotic script. No!
01:42No? What kind of an answer is that? No, anybody can say no.
01:46You're a bigger man than that, J.L.
01:48How about a qualified maybe? Or a grudging perhaps? How about a leafling, uh, I'll thank you over, hmm?
01:55Duck, I've told you for the last time. I want a Thanksgiving Day special.
02:00In fact, J.L., it's exactly what you're getting.
02:03Letting me play Duck Dodgers is your way of thanking me for giving you all these great pictures all these years.
02:09What great pictures?
02:11What great pictures? What great...
02:13Oh, how soon they forget. I can't believe it.
02:16Do you mean to say you've forgotten one of the greatest pictures to come out of this sleazy studio?
02:21Robin Hood Daffy?
02:22Oh, join up with me, so joyous and free, that's why you owe Sherwood High.
02:35For I'm Robin Hood, and I'm very good at avoiding the sheriff's eye.
02:39So we'll trip along merrily, or the greensward so gracefully.
02:44Do trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it up and down.
02:48Do trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it, trips it, trip it, trip it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips it, trips
03:18Ho, ho, and ha, ha, eh?
03:26I'll ho, ho, and ha, ha, you, fat friar.
03:31With my trusty quarterstaff.
03:33Actually, it's a buck and a quarter quarterstaff, but I'm not telling him that.
03:38Ho, ha, ha, dart, turn, parry, dodge, steal, ha, frost.
03:48Hmm, let's see now.
03:52Something amiss here.
03:54Hmm, I'll run through it.
03:56Ho, ha, ha, guard, turn, parry, dodge, spin, ha, frost.
04:01Got it.
04:03Now then.
04:04Ho, ha, ha, guard, turn, parry, dodge, steal.
04:14Great acting, eh, JL?
04:16Proves my point, huh?
04:17Now, how about duck, dog?
04:18That picture was a turkey, duck.
04:21Well, of course it was a turkey.
04:23Turkey, Thanksgiving, spirit of the times, you know.
04:26But let's not change a subject, shall we not?
04:28You're supposed to fight me for giving you all those great performances,
04:32like my great westerns, Drip Along Daffy, for instance.
04:36She's got skin just like prairie dog weather.
04:39She cooks nothing but truck wagons,
04:42and her name is Minerva.
04:46Ouch, she's the flower of the dower.
04:49Ouch.
04:50Hmm.
04:56All right, Duffini.
04:57There's going to be a sneak preview,
04:59and a sneak think of white hat.
05:01I'm going to clean up this one-horse town.
05:04Ho, ho, tin foil.
05:06Away!
05:06Let justice be done.
05:17Tear off that mortgage.
05:18Oh, hands that rancher's daughter.
05:20Cease that...
05:21Seems awfully breezy in here.
05:25Cease that wrestling.
05:28Slight pause, whilst I adjust my accoutrement.
05:31Listen, Humber,
05:34if you're not out of town by sundown,
05:36you better come a-shootin' with your six guns a-blazin' and a-firing.
05:41I'm so American.
05:41I reckon.
05:42In the city of Boulder,
05:43you better come a-shootin' with your six guns a-blazin'.
05:45I'm so American.
05:45I don't think a-shootin' with your six guns a-blazin'.
05:48You better come a-shootin'.
05:50I can't see them,
05:51but I think a-shootin' with your six guns a-blazin'.
06:22Say, what's going on around here?
06:28Put down that comedy relief.
06:30What's the big idea?
06:31I'm the hero of this picture.
06:32Carry me.
06:33Give me the cheers.
06:35Give me the...
06:36Give me...
06:37Give me one dozen rollers.
06:40Oh, and drip along.
06:42And drip along, pal.
06:44I told you I'd clean up this one-horse town.
06:51Lucky for him, it is a one-horse.
06:52How's that?
06:56What's Clint Eastwood got that I haven't got?
06:58Well, for one thing, I'm not going to fire Clint Eastwood.
07:02And I am going to fire you.
07:05Oh, sure.
07:06Fire the duck.
07:07Roast the duck.
07:08Carboil the duck.
07:09Anything that humiliates the duck.
07:11Remember the time you ran out of ways to humiliate the duck?
07:14So you got the duck married.
07:16Roasted on the stove of matrimony.
07:18Refined wealthy lady duck with home and income wishes to meet refined single gentleman duck.
07:27Obvious matrimony.
07:29Eureka!
07:30What am I waiting for?
07:31Toys?
07:44Toys?
07:47Well, the honeymoon's over.
07:48Uh, how's the cow coming along with this?
07:53Now, haul your anchor loose with that chair and get better with the household chores.
07:58What?
07:59No, madam.
08:00It must be clearly understood that no one is going to impick this little black duck.
08:06Hey, shut up!
08:08Or I'll slap your mouth queen off in your face.
08:10I'd like to see you.
08:16I see you.
08:17Oh, brother!
08:39Come on!
08:40Inhale!
08:41Exhale!
08:41They got me, they got me!
08:57Charge!
09:11Charge!
09:17Charge!
09:21What's that?
09:23Um...
09:25I forgot to tell you.
09:27That's my little son, Wettler.
09:29Don't you think he's kinda cute?
09:31Yeah, cute like a stomach dump.
09:35Come on, bop, it's me Indians!
09:37Come on, let's me Indians!
09:39Oh, lay off of me!
09:41I ain't playing no Indians!
09:43Daffy!
09:45Wentworth wants to play Indian!
09:47I am not playing Indian!
09:49You play Indian or I'll...
09:53Nope! No Indian!
09:59Come on, Raven, the pusses!
10:01Let's play Indian!
10:03Help!
10:05Help!
10:07Help!
10:09Help!
10:11Help!
10:13Help!
10:15Help!
10:17Got any more bright ideas!
10:19Yes, Daffy!
10:21I think it would be nice to take Wentworth to the park!
10:29What?
10:30If you think for one moment that I'm gonna take that brat to the park!
10:33You're...
10:34You're...
10:35You're...
10:36You're...
10:37You're absolutely right!
10:39That's...
10:40What?
10:41What?
10:42What?
10:45Give me that gun!
10:47Don't you know that shooting is dangerous for small squabs like you?
10:51Listen to you!
10:52If there's any shooting to be done, let's an expert do it!
10:57Watch this!
10:58Daffy Oakley is the name!
11:01Keep your eye on the Red Bull's eye!
11:08Hey, watch while you're shooting, Bob!
11:10Oh, uh...
11:11It must, uh...
11:12Rico Shetton!
11:13Now, Edward!
11:14Just watch me kick off that big moose with a silly-looking pussy!
11:23Listen, Duck!
11:24Plunk me once more and it's your last plunk!
11:34BANG!
11:35BANG!
11:36BANG!
11:39програм regulation!
11:40BANG!
11:41BANG!
11:42Good bara jaman!
11:44Huh!
11:45Bike to the guild!
11:47BANG!
11:48That'll teach you!
11:49Gil, get to bed, if you've got to get up early and help!
11:52Men will shoot off his fireworks for the boys!
11:56BANG!
12:00Run, car!
12:01Run!
12:02Run!
12:03Those little things can't hurt you!
12:05It's the big ones that you're gonna out for!
12:07Whimpers! Whimpers! Whimpers! Whimpers! Whimpers! Whimpers!
12:37And just where have you been, you battered blizzard?
13:04Poor little Whitworth's been waiting for hours, sir, you to take him to the zoo.
13:09Zoo smooth.
13:10I'm not taking Whitworth anywhere. Period.
13:13Are you gonna take Whitworth to the zoo, or am I gonna pluck every feather off your scrawny carcass?
13:20No zoo.
13:24No, sir. No one's gonna tell Wizards, little black duck, what to do.
13:33All right. Don't you think I've suffered enough? Don't you think I deserve a modicum of thanks for getting so much?
13:40All right. I agree. You've suffered enough. You can do duck dodges in the return of the 24th and a half century.
13:48All right. What do you mean, all right? What kind of an answer is that?
13:51If you think for one minute I'm gonna sit around here listening to you bleed out all right all day,
13:56well, you've got another thing coming.
14:00Pardon me. Did you say all right?
14:03That's right. You can make duck dodges in the return of the 24th and a half century.
14:08Really? Really?
14:09Really?
14:09All right, eager young space cadet. Front and center.
14:33I'm only present and accounted for to be your hero ship, sir.
14:41Dodgers, all the billions of living creatures on all the trillions of galaxies everywhere are facing a terrible crisis.
14:49One that can only be solved by...
14:51Sir, dodgers, in the 24th and a half century!
14:56The present crisis concerns our supply of the rack and pinion molecule,
15:01the only substance known that is able to polish yo-yos.
15:04Yo-yo polish, eh? This is more serious than I thought.
15:08Can you do it, dodgers?
15:11Oh, indubitable, indubitable, indubitable, absolutely, sir.
15:14Because there's a... no one knows his way around that outer space, right?
15:18Duck dodgers! In the 24th and a half century!
15:22We are approaching the rack and pinion molecule with meteor, sir.
15:32It's looked at by George.
15:33Sir, you feel it looks just like an egg.
15:36Ridiculous. The idea.
15:37That looks like an egg?
15:40Hey, what do you know? It cracked.
15:44It is just like an egg.
15:47Well, uh, that sort of better brought my egg fairy.
15:49Well, what do you know? It don't look civilized, but it is alive.
15:55Oh, drat, these computers, they're so naughty and so complex.
15:59I could pinch them.
16:01Hey, nice-looking toy you got there, kiddo.
16:03Uh, what else did your daddy give you for Christmas?
16:06Please, sir, do not interrupt my chain of thought.
16:09I'm a busy Martian.
16:11Martian, eh? Interesting.
16:12And I must complete this important project.
16:16Okay, Mac, I'll drop by later.
16:17Uh, I've got to tow this bitty planet back to Earth.
16:20Are you from the Earth?
16:21How interesting.
16:23I'm just about to solve the Earth's fuel problem.
16:27You are?
16:28Solve our fuel problem?
16:29Ooh, how neighborly.
16:30If it's not a trade secret, how are you going to do it?
16:33It's quite simple.
16:35I'm going to blow it up.
16:36Now, that's what I'd call a bright idea.
16:40Funny nobody ever thought of it before.
16:42Simple.
16:43No loose ends.
16:45Nothing to work.
16:47Reach about.
16:49Okay, canister head, reach for the sky.
16:52There are a few small unpleasant drawbacks to this little scheme of yours.
16:56Really?
16:56What are these, uh, drawbacks?
17:00Yeah, what are they?
17:01What are the drawbacks to blowing up the world?
17:03Well, that's a fair question.
17:04Well, for one thing, I'd like to have something to land on when I get back to Earth.
17:09Oh, dear, oh, dear.
17:11Delays, delays.
17:12I must get rid of that Earth thing.
17:14I suppose I shall have to call on Gossamer.
17:17And, uh, then there's Quackenbush's Bar and Grill on 3rd Avenue.
17:20Oh, hate to see that go.
17:22Pardon me, sir.
17:23I should like to have you meet a little friend of mine, name of Gossamer.
17:28Gossamer?
17:29Me?
17:30Where, where, where?
17:31Just follow the signs to Gossamer's boudoir.
17:36Gossamer, what a name.
17:37Must be one of those space princesses you see in sci-fi magazines.
17:41Gossamer, Gossamer, baby.
17:42It's the Dodger, sweetheart, of the 24th and a half century, Pudgeons.
17:47Don't be shy.
17:51Gossamer?
17:52Gossamer?
17:53G Narr!
17:58I surrender, dear.
18:01I'm sorry, sir, but we are not permitted to take prisoners, especially cowards.
18:07But I'm a brave coward.
18:09Acne, uh, martian, uh, tran, uh, tranqu, uh, uh, tranquil, uh, uh, uh, ineffectualizer.
18:15Oh, straitjackets make me so angry
18:24Gossamer, kill
18:27Gossamer? Ah, Gossamer, the very person I've been looking for
18:31Looking for? Me? Looking for a certain death?
18:39Me
18:39After all, cowardice is a better part of valor
18:44Help, help, help, first aid, help, help
18:50I'm being attacked by a gossamer, I'm allergic to pain, save me
18:53Is there an N.S.M.E. to give him, uh, is there an N.S.M.E. to see me
18:56Is there an N.S.M.E. to see me, is there an N.S.M.E. to see me
18:57Somebody give me clarity for him, anybody in the house
18:59Oh, stink, buddy, old cosmic pal
19:01Take care of this little matter, and I'll make you a space cadet third class
19:05No one can ask fairer than that
19:07How can you expect me to be a crawling, cowardly poltroon with you in the way?
19:20Ow!
19:21Don't worry, your cowardly ship, sir
19:23I'll take care of everything with my, uh, acne monster
19:26Your, uh, hair clippers
19:28A, dry cruhers
19:31Little clippers
19:32So, you know
19:34Oh, uh, I need to get that question
19:36Oh, uh, come on, Uh, don't be a big lady
19:39A haircut never hurt anybody
19:40Yes
19:41Gossamer is quite nervous about barbers
19:45I mean, uh, lie, sir
19:48Josie, just have a seat
19:49And I'll please sit still, sir
19:51Oh, my
19:51Shall I just, uh, uh, use the, uh flippers on the house, on the side
19:55You'll have to sit me in and walk quietly, sir.
19:58Oh, dear, that was a mistake.
20:01Now I guess we'll be...
20:02What the...
20:06Well, I never...
20:08Hmm.
20:09Well, you're never, ever going to believe this,
20:12but he was all hair.
20:14There was nothing underneath.
20:17Just hair and sneakers.
20:20Just hair, eh?
20:22Well, I could have told you that
20:24if you'd ever listen.
20:26Oh, yes, you're a brand new ship, yes, sir.
20:28Okay, now how about doing something youthful
20:30as well as accidental around here for a change?
20:33And wipe that smile off your face.
20:35Eh, yes, sir.
20:39Now cut that out.
20:42Eh, yes, sir.
20:45Well, get the lead out.
20:47Eh, yes, sir.
20:55And that, young space cadet,
21:00is the last straw.
21:02Now, let's see if you get this lead out of your pants.
21:05Eh, yes, sir.
21:08Eh, yes, sir.
21:10Oh, dear, Earthlings.
21:13Eh, yes, sir.
21:17Eh, but, sir,
21:18what are the people on Earth do?
21:20Eh, but, without re-aracking pinion molecules,
21:23eh, to polish their yo-yos.
21:25Let him eat cake.
21:32Well, back to the old control center.
21:36Let us see.
21:38Thirty million megatons should be sufficient for a little bitty planet like the Earth.
21:51All systems are go.
21:53Oh, isn't that dandy?
21:55Now I don't want any of you Earth people to fret or worry.
21:59It will be three whole days before my missile reaches your planet,
22:03so you have plenty of time to get your affairs in order.
22:07And just think, isn't it, Peachy?
22:10All your fuel problems will be solved.
22:13Don't worry, folks.
22:23After all, it's only a cartoon.
22:29Brilliant film, eh, J.L.?
22:30Didn't I confirm your faith in me?
22:33Interesting.
22:34Why don't you remake it before you shelve it?
22:36Yeah, why don't we remake it before we shelve it?
22:38Now, that's what I call a constructive suggestion.
22:41Why don't we do the whole thing over before we put it on the shelf?
22:43You, you, you, you, you're despicable.
22:52Why don't we hate it?
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