- 2 days ago
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At Grandson Media, it’s all about laughs and scares! I share the funniest comedies that’ll crack you up and the scariest horror movies that’ll keep you watching through your fingers. Expect epic clips, hilarious reactions, and pure entertainment every time you hit play!
At Grandson Media, it’s all about laughs and scares! I share the funniest comedies that’ll crack you up and the scariest horror movies that’ll keep you watching through your fingers. Expect epic clips, hilarious reactions, and pure entertainment every time you hit play!
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I am immortal. I never would have chosen to live forever, but I also never would have chosen to live in the time of the vampires.
00:00:30Wilson, you have been well trained in the way of vampires slaying, but it never hurts to pray.
00:00:44Abraham!
00:00:46Sebastian, I am entrusting you with the safety of my wife.
00:01:07I realize he is enamored with your beauty, but Josiah assures me he is an expert in all things Nosferatu.
00:01:22It is he that bears to Dracula.
00:01:25Can you spare him then?
00:01:28Look around you. We are surrounded by giants.
00:01:34We are surrounded by giants.
00:02:04Go through all the bedrooms. Meet me outside.
00:02:14You must be outside.
00:02:44Jeez...
00:02:46Jeez...
00:02:48Come on.
00:02:50Come on.
00:02:54Ugh...
00:02:56...
00:03:10Oh, my God.
00:03:40Oh, my God.
00:04:10Oh, my God.
00:04:40Oh, my God.
00:05:10So, this is everything you dreamed it would be.
00:05:17You know, if I was a gentleman, I would have killed you in England.
00:05:22Don't worry.
00:05:23I'll kill you soon enough.
00:05:29Or should I turn you, you would undoubtedly make a ferocious vampire.
00:05:36Is that what you wanted all this time?
00:05:38To taste the blood of the one you've hunted for so long.
00:05:44That's it.
00:05:54That's it.
00:05:56That's it.
00:05:58That's it.
00:06:03That's it.
00:06:06That's it.
00:06:07That's it.
00:06:08Oh, my God.
00:06:38What have you done?
00:07:08The time of the undead has come to an end.
00:07:13Read your Bible, Hunter. Our numbers are legion.
00:07:17You may have slain Dracula, but it'll take you more years than you've got left to do away with my kind.
00:07:23Many slayers will follow me, but who will you follow now?
00:07:28We've got princes, ready warriors who will reign like Dracula.
00:07:32Rapacious fools, and we shall slay them too.
00:07:38Maybe it is you who are the fool. After all, you are the one who left your beloved wife in the care of a rapacious prince.
00:07:47No, I am not one of them, but sometimes I think I might as well be.
00:07:52For I am a hunter, a vampire slayer.
00:07:56And decades ago, I made the choice which brought me to where I am now, fighting to rid the world of evil.
00:08:02The End
00:08:11The End
00:08:14Transcription by CastingWords
00:08:44CastingWords
00:09:14CastingWords
00:09:44CastingWords
00:10:14CastingWords
00:10:44and for three months I've been coming down here with plasma, bags, tubes, tests, ever since you arrived from Paris.
00:10:56All right.
00:10:56I just thought you might like to know my name.
00:11:06And Miss Bassett, please close the door on your way out.
00:11:26And Miss Bassett, please close the door on your way.
00:11:56What should happen, Roman? I know you were planning to share.
00:12:12Ariana.
00:12:15Look, I got a job as an orderly at the University Hospital.
00:12:20And? Don't tell me that you've been taking this from the blood bank.
00:12:25Do you want to bring the wrath of him upon us all?
00:12:28After all these years of being careful.
00:12:31But we took him, Theo, and all his people after their building was demolished.
00:12:36And I know that you don't think that you can keep this for yourself.
00:12:39Reward yourself for putting us in danger.
00:12:43Of course I was going to give this to Sebastian.
00:12:51Ariana, what are we supposed to eat?
00:12:54You know what? I don't give a shit what you, Roman.
00:13:00Has anyone even planned on hunting again?
00:13:07Have you forgotten about Van Helsing?
00:13:10Maybe he's got something better to do with his life.
00:13:15Maybe he's got something better to do with his life.
00:13:27No!
00:13:28No!
00:13:30Van Helsing, he's here.
00:13:37I'll tell you what.
00:13:40I'll act as if you and I never had this conversation.
00:13:44In fact, I'll act as if we never even met.
00:13:47And I suggest that you do the same.
00:13:49I'll act as if we never met.
00:13:50And I suggest that you do the same.
00:13:56And I'll stop.
00:13:58Don't hold anything away from me again.
00:14:00Because I know what it might.
00:14:02I'm not sure he's here in the distance.
00:14:03No.
00:14:04You're going to be fun soon.
00:14:05It's up here.
00:14:06Stop it.
00:14:08It's, uh, just now we're going for a pic.
00:14:10It's going to be fun.
00:14:12You're not ready, guys.
00:14:14You're out there.
00:14:15It's not enough.
00:14:16You're not ready.
00:14:17It's quite easy.
00:14:18It's gonna be fun.
00:14:19I'm not ready.
00:14:20I'm not ready for you.
00:14:22We're not ready for the while.
00:14:25Where's Sebastian?
00:14:44You've got human blood.
00:14:55Get away, you loser!
00:15:15You lose your head and he cuts it all, he's fine, Andrew!
00:15:23I'll be right back.
00:15:25I'll be right back.
00:15:27No need, I'm not.
00:15:29Wait a minute.
00:15:31I'm going to get you in thisESS.
00:15:33He's a goodperson.
00:15:36I'm doing a goodperson.
00:15:40I'm going to love you.
00:15:42I'm going to love you.
00:15:44Do you think...
00:15:47No need, I mean.
00:15:50Human blood, what have you done?
00:15:57Look, I know the rules, Sebastian.
00:16:02You might say it just kind of fell into my hands.
00:16:07Get that away from me.
00:16:09Oh.
00:16:11You sound like an old man.
00:16:15Where is your lust?
00:16:18Can't you practically just feel it rolling over your tongue
00:16:22and down your throat?
00:16:24All warm and smoky.
00:16:28It is too much.
00:16:32Once I start, I'll tell you we'll be able to stop.
00:16:34Why stop?
00:16:37You know the tortures of appetite.
00:16:52If we were at full strength...
00:16:55We would have to feed again.
00:16:57But if we...
00:16:58And that would bring Van Elsie to our door.
00:17:01That is a bastard.
00:17:16That is enough.
00:17:19Drink.
00:17:24No.
00:17:25No.
00:17:26No.
00:17:27Isn't everything you remember?
00:17:31Yeah.
00:17:38No?
00:17:43Yeah.
00:17:48No.
00:17:50No.
00:17:53That is not you, your mother.
00:18:00This is what I am.
00:18:15I... I need this.
00:18:22I need this.
00:18:24What do we need?
00:18:26And this sideway.
00:18:28And else into our doorsteps.
00:18:30Oh, no. What we need is to get back to the hunt.
00:18:35If the vampires weren't so weak from lack of food,
00:18:38you would have a revolt on your hands.
00:18:42And where else?
00:18:43You will kill him.
00:18:47Where all others have failed.
00:18:50You have great faith in the Aryans.
00:18:52You are so, Sebastian.
00:18:54You are a prince.
00:18:56You are a descendant of Count Vladimir.
00:18:59Dracula.
00:19:01The glass of the great-am vampires.
00:19:05Together,
00:19:07you and I
00:19:08will get rid of Van Helsing once and for all,
00:19:12and we will claim our rightful place.
00:19:14I'll start with something easy.
00:19:29At least with...
00:19:30someone easy.
00:19:33You want a date?
00:19:52Don't be afraid, honey.
00:19:53I don't bite.
00:19:54It's $200 for a date.
00:20:00So, you ready, baby?
00:20:01Let's go over here.
00:20:08You seem nervous.
00:20:11Relax, honey.
00:20:12I'll help you.
00:20:12I'll help you.
00:20:14First time?
00:20:16No.
00:20:18But it's been...
00:20:19a long time.
00:20:30What's up?
00:20:31To hell with four, lady.
00:20:39Aaaaaa!
00:20:40Aaaaaa!
00:20:41Aaaaaah!
00:20:42Aaaaaaaaaa!
00:20:42Aaaaaa!
00:20:43Aaaaaa!
00:20:44Aaaaaa!
00:20:44Aaaaaa!
00:20:45Aaaaaa!
00:20:46Oh, my God.
00:21:16Oh, my God.
00:21:46Dr. Van Helsing, wait.
00:21:53A case came in last night.
00:21:55She seems to have lost 90% of her blood.
00:21:58Amazingly, she's still alive.
00:22:00Symptomology.
00:22:01Pernicious anemia, for one.
00:22:04Dr. Fielding gave her a blood transfusion, but it doesn't seem to work.
00:22:08Trauma?
00:22:09Bites and scratches, mostly.
00:22:11What was she found?
00:22:12In the park.
00:22:14It looks like they left her there.
00:22:16But her injuries seem to be some sort of animal attack.
00:22:20The police have been notified.
00:22:22Show me.
00:22:23Okay.
00:22:24Okay.
00:22:25Okay.
00:22:26Okay.
00:22:27Okay.
00:22:28Well?
00:22:49How much blood has she had?
00:22:55Eight units since she was here yesterday.
00:22:57Antibiotics?
00:22:59Yes.
00:23:01And they haven't stopped the infection?
00:23:04No.
00:23:06And you can stop with the transfusions?
00:23:09Dr. Van Helsing, we can't stop the transfusions.
00:23:12You have given her more than half her blood in the last 18 hours.
00:23:17The antibiotics haven't kicked in.
00:23:19There's no evidence of internal bleeding.
00:23:21And you know as well as I do that we are going to lose her.
00:23:25I guess so.
00:23:27Maybe I should call Dr. Reamer.
00:23:29Miss Barrett.
00:23:31I think I should get another consult.
00:23:34Emily, I have dealt with this before.
00:23:37I don't understand.
00:23:40Why are you giving up?
00:23:43Because my wife died of the same thing.
00:23:47I'm so sorry.
00:23:51It's related to the same blood disorder I've been studying.
00:23:57All we can do for her right now is make sure she's in no discomfort.
00:24:07We don't have to live like this anymore.
00:24:21We are not going to live like this anymore.
00:24:25We are not rats.
00:24:27We are the most powerful beings on earth.
00:24:31Since the beginning of time, humans have lived in fear of vampires.
00:24:37Even the word brings terror into the hearts of the strongest of men.
00:24:42We are vampires.
00:24:44And we will be as we should be.
00:24:48Why do we hide away in derelict, stinking, moldering buildings?
00:24:55Why are we forced to drink the cold blood of dead animals rather than the warm, living blood of humans?
00:25:04I'll tell you why.
00:25:08One man.
00:25:10Van Helsing.
00:25:25He has forced us to be weak.
00:25:27Without the blood of humans, we are just a shadow of our former selves.
00:25:34We are the hunters of the darkness.
00:25:48We shall be humans.
00:25:50Tonight we have!
00:25:54With the blood of Christ, I bind your blood to that of your prince.
00:26:06Let him feel your pain.
00:26:08What have you done, Ariana?
00:26:09You've made that whore one of us.
00:26:10You've made that whore one of us.
00:26:11You've made that whore one of us.
00:26:13She was cute.
00:26:14I thought you might enjoy her.
00:26:15You've made that whore one of us.
00:26:20Then he will annihilate us.
00:26:23You've made that whore one of us.
00:26:24She was cute.
00:26:25I thought you might enjoy her.
00:26:29Then he will annihilate us.
00:26:33You've made that whore one of us.
00:26:37of us. She was cute. I thought you might enjoy her. He will annihilate us. We will then fight him and kill him. He's blessed by his fucking gods! We can't! We can't! Fight! We will turn more. We will have an army of vampires. He'll never stop us. You're not strong enough. Not yet.
00:27:07Look, what we'll do is we'll feed on their flesh and drink their blood. We'll cause a bloodbath.
00:27:19He is God. He is powerful.
00:27:22Most merciful brother, may the blood and water that gushed from your son's heart put out the fires...
00:27:37Excuse me, sir, but the church is closed.
00:27:39The church is closed, Will.
00:27:43My business is with the fathers of the Holy Order of the Knights Templar.
00:27:50And what business would that be?
00:27:52Where did you get this chalice?
00:28:05I'm a priest of your order many years ago. I see you know what it means.
00:28:11I've read the text that's inscribed on it.
00:28:16How much do you know of the church's quest to destroy Nostophartum?
00:28:21I became an initiate into the Templars during my time in Rome.
00:28:26We studied many things. Much of it seemed more like fantasy and myth rather than reality.
00:28:31During the 19th century, the vampires spread like a plague.
00:28:38From Central Europe, to France, to London, and then on to America.
00:28:44Which is when the Templars came to me.
00:28:47Are you trying to tell me that you were over a hundred years old?
00:28:50They tied my fate to that of the vampire. They offered me immortality to hunt them.
00:29:02Of course I refused.
00:29:07I did and still do not want to walk this earth forever.
00:29:13But you...
00:29:15Then one of the hell demons turned my wife.
00:29:18That is enough.
00:29:48I was a fool. I gave her to him.
00:29:51I was a fool. I gave her to him.
00:29:52I was a fool. I gave her to him.
00:29:56It was my arrogance, my certainty, that cost her life.
00:30:00It is when I went to them.
00:30:01It was my arrogance, my certainty, that cost her life.
00:30:07It is when I went to them.
00:30:08It is when I went to them.
00:30:12So you can't die.
00:30:13My pact with God is simple.
00:30:14Until I kill the last...
00:30:15Until I kill the last...
00:30:16I was a fool.
00:30:17I was a fool.
00:30:18I gave her to him.
00:30:19It was my arrogance, my certainty, that cost her life.
00:30:24It is when I went to them.
00:30:25It is when I went to them.
00:30:26So you can't die.
00:30:27My pact with God is simple.
00:30:28Until I kill the last... vampire prince, I shall walk this earth immortal.
00:30:31But if I drink... a vampire's blood, I shall be turned... and forever damned.
00:30:57So what do you need me to do?
00:31:02Over the decades, I have come to the Holy Templars.
00:31:06They have provided me with monks, fighters, vampire slayers.
00:31:13You may have heard, but there's not a lot of monks in downtown Los Angeles these days.
00:31:18Then who does their work now?
00:31:21Our seminary students.
00:31:23Well, these young men are active in the community and they recruit laity for work in the church.
00:31:29This mission is not for the unfaithful.
00:31:32I have lost many slayers over the years.
00:31:35Good people will always fight evil.
00:31:38If you can get them to believe in the cause, you'll have the warriors that you need.
00:31:43Then you bring the fighters, and I shall convince them.
00:31:48I will see you in the morning with my slayers.
00:31:53I want you to give our guests your undivided attention.
00:32:03Each of you will have to decide for yourself whether you want to help or not.
00:32:08Please, at least your honor.
00:32:11My name is Abraham Van Helsing.
00:32:18And what I am about to tell you is beyond your wildest imaginations.
00:32:24As students of the Bible, I trust you are all aware of the lengths that Satan will go through in destroying humanity.
00:32:32I need help in destroying Satan's warriors.
00:32:37And Satan's warriors are vampires.
00:32:42I'll admit it.
00:32:44I too at first was a skeptic.
00:32:47And over the years I have trained myself to have an open mind.
00:32:52But my commitment to vampires will never end.
00:32:57Why?
00:32:58Because vampires will never stop.
00:33:02They will come after those you know.
00:33:05They will kill those you love.
00:33:08And then they will come after you.
00:33:13I know this through bitter experience.
00:33:16I have lost someone I love.
00:33:38Oh my god.
00:34:01What have I done?
00:34:04Did you drink?
00:34:07Tell me, did he make you drink?
00:34:16It's not your fault.
00:34:19I entrusted you to him.
00:34:22I didn't know him.
00:34:25Please forgive me.
00:34:37Amber, stop.
00:34:41I know I must do it.
00:34:45I've committed no crime.
00:34:48I love you.
00:34:54May God accept your entry to his gracious gates.
00:34:57I've done nothing to deserve this.
00:35:00It was you who brought this monster to our door.
00:35:04You have brought it in.
00:35:05If anything should happen to anyone, it should be you.
00:35:11There is no other way.
00:35:13I have lost your life.
00:35:15I will not lose your soul.
00:35:22You speak of souls.
00:35:24Where is your place in heaven if you kill the woman you love?
00:35:28There is no place in heaven left for me.
00:35:31And without you, I will be in hell.
00:35:35Then you will get what you deserve.
00:35:37My wish for you, my husband, is that you will have no peace for the rest of eternity.
00:35:43And my wish for you is that you will be with our Lord Almighty and not in everlasting hellfire.
00:35:44You know the vampires.
00:35:45Maybe there's a cure.
00:35:46Maybe the churches with all their mystical charms can help us.
00:35:48There is only one cure.
00:35:49Maybe the churches with all their mystical charms can help us.
00:35:53There is only one cure.
00:35:54There is only one cure.
00:35:55There is only one cure.
00:35:56There is only one cure.
00:35:57There is only one cure.
00:35:58There is only one cure.
00:36:04There is only one cure.
00:36:05There is only one cure.
00:36:11There is only one cure.
00:36:23There also be one cure.
00:36:54Abraham, not your father.
00:37:18Father, you must give her last rites.
00:37:21You know I cannot do that.
00:37:23Not until the church is satisfied that she has not embraced the demon that is on her.
00:37:28I will give you what you want.
00:37:31I will give you my life.
00:37:37I will drink your poison.
00:37:41And I will forevermore hunt them down.
00:37:43You must understand that you will never see heaven as long as the undead walk the earth.
00:37:53While all others grow old and die, you will remain the same.
00:38:00Are you telling me?
00:38:01Give me the cup.
00:38:02I will never see heaven as long as you will never see heaven as long as you will never see heaven as long as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you will never see heaven as you
00:38:32To be continued...
00:39:02To be continued...
00:39:32...so that other souls will not be damned...
00:39:37I can train you to eradicate this unholy species...
00:39:41...but I must warn you...
00:39:44...I have lost many slayers to these demons...
00:39:48...should you not choose to join this crusade...
00:39:51...you will not be judged...
00:39:54...but you must know...
00:39:56...that if the vampires continue to spread throughout this city...
00:40:00...then the first victims will be the souls...
00:40:04...of the lost and dispossessed...
00:40:07...the very souls you've worked so hard to bring to God...
00:40:13...you can count me in...
00:40:15...why are you here?
00:40:29I'm not stalking you...
00:40:32...Father Cephaloo called...
00:40:34...and asked me to come...
00:40:36...I've worked with the homeless here at the parish...
00:40:39...and women can fight vampires too...
00:40:43...right?
00:40:44...I'm glad I came tonight...
00:40:48...I've learned...
00:40:53...you have hidden depths...
00:40:55...and here all this time...
00:40:57...I thought you thought...
00:40:58...that I was just shallow and moody...
00:41:00...moody and mysterious...
00:41:04...and a pretty boy, but...
00:41:06Dr. Van Helsing?
00:41:07Yeah.
00:41:08Yeah.
00:41:12What on earth is that?
00:41:13Van Helsing already told us...
00:41:14...vampires can't be hurt by guns.
00:41:16Not when the bullets are filled with holy blood.
00:41:21Let me tell you more about this creature...
00:41:23...you will be facing.
00:41:24This...
00:41:26...is the way of the vampire.
00:41:31He is a brute...
00:41:33...and even more than a brute...
00:41:35...he is a cruel brute.
00:41:38And the more he feeds...
00:41:39...the stronger he gets...
00:41:41...and the stronger he gets...
00:41:43...the more evil he guns.
00:41:48There is some good news.
00:41:51Vampires don't have unlimited powers...
00:41:53...they cannot enter a house...
00:41:55...unless invited.
00:41:57Unfortunately...
00:41:59...this doesn't hold true...
00:42:01...for public places.
00:42:03...but we will take what we can get.
00:42:09Holy water...
00:42:11...is like acid to them.
00:42:15Garlic and crucifixers keep them at bay.
00:42:19They tend to hide indoors...
00:42:21...during the day...
00:42:22...because the sun is deadly to them.
00:42:24Why don't we just kill them to death?
00:42:26I wondered who would be first...
00:42:30...to ask that question.
00:42:32As long as they're in their own homes...
00:42:34...whatever building or coffin...
00:42:36...they've made theirs...
00:42:38...their power remains strong.
00:42:40...but once night comes...
00:42:42...they show no mercy.
00:42:50They can change form...
00:42:52...and turn themselves into wolves...
00:42:54...or bats.
00:42:57Do not...
00:42:58...under any circumstance...
00:42:59...underestimate them.
00:43:01...and do not think...
00:43:05...they are not clever.
00:43:07They are more cunning...
00:43:08...than you will ever be.
00:43:10They have decades...
00:43:11...more experience.
00:43:21I told you Todd...
00:43:22...I don't play quarters anymore.
00:43:23Just leave me alone.
00:43:25See what I tell you Jake...
00:43:26...lesbo.
00:43:29Hey sweetie.
00:43:31You ready for a big bicycle?
00:43:33Ladies, I apologize...
00:43:34...for my friend's behavior.
00:43:37We watch.
00:43:41Thanks, but...
00:43:42...those tricks are harmless.
00:43:44I'm dead.
00:43:46But I'm not.
00:43:52They can call the dead...
00:43:53...but only those...
00:43:54...who have died in sin.
00:44:01The more they feed...
00:44:08...the stronger they get.
00:44:10It would be different...
00:44:11...if they were like wasps...
00:44:12...one sting and they're dead.
00:44:14But instead...
00:44:15...they come back...
00:44:16...again...
00:44:17...and again...
00:44:18...and again...
00:44:19...and again.
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