“Your Daily Dose of What’s Trending She is a genius!💯🔥”

TrendMixtTV

#trending videos, #viral videos, #latest news, #funny clips,  #entertainment, #top 10, #breaking news, #sports highlights, #tech news, celebrity news, #lifestyle, #daily trends, #global trends #FYP #Foryou  #Viral  #Fypシ  #Foryoupage  #Parati  #TikTok  #Capcut   #views  #travel  #explore  #nature  #view  #explorepage  #photography  #love    #funny #memes #meme #funnymemes #comedy #lol #dankmemes #memesdaily #fun #love #humor #follow  #love. #instagood. #photooftheday. #fashion. #beautiful. #happy. #cute. #tbt. #jokes #memes #funny #comedy #funnymemes #meme #lol #memesdaily #humor #dankmemes #fun #laugh #joke . #car #carsofinstagram #carlifestyle #carporn #automotive #instacar #cargram #carswithoutlimits  #supercars #supercar #hypercar #hypercars #exoticcars #luxurycars #sportscars #dreamcar #fastcars  #carspotting #supercarspotting #carphotography #ferrari #lamborghini #bugatti #mclaren #porsche

Transcript

00:00:00Assalamu alaikum!

00:00:19I can see some of you hit yourself over there, bruh. It's okay.

00:00:24So nice to be here. I can't believe I'm live here, bruh. I'm live!

00:00:28Two years ago, all my gigs were cancelled suddenly.

00:00:32And people are like, but don't worry, you're a medical doctor.

00:00:35At least you have medicine to fall back on.

00:00:38The only problem with that is, I haven't done medicine in nearly 20 years.

00:00:44So I'm pretty sure my advice is going to be cutting edge.

00:00:48Doctor, I got coronavirus. You must wrap Vicks, bruh.

00:00:52Wrap the Vicks.

00:00:53My oxygen saturation is dropping Zambac.

00:00:57Love the Zambac.

00:01:01You know what's funny? Some of the Indian aunties are going,

00:01:03Yeah, yeah, Vicks is very good for coronavirus. Very good.

00:01:07Come for me, Corona. Come for me.

00:01:12I was irritating during the pandemic. I'm telling you, for my wife, my poor wife had to deal with this malachi for two years.

00:01:22No break. You know, because I like to do voices, right?

00:01:27Do impersonations from morning till night.

00:01:30I'm doing this character from the movie Rounders called Teddy KGB.

00:01:33I don't know if anyone's seen that movie.

00:01:36But I'm walking around the whole day.

00:01:37He beat me.

00:01:39Straight up.

00:01:40Pay him.

00:01:41Pay that man his money.

00:01:45I'm an educated individual.

00:01:49Medical doctor, father of four, walking around the house, talking into a hairbrush.

00:01:55He beat me. Pay him.

00:01:58Pay that man his money.

00:02:00My grand's like, Riyad, you make more noise than the children, Riyad.

00:02:11You know, I sometimes catch my father looking at me with disappointment.

00:02:17I'm like, sorry, you're a doctor.

00:02:20He's a doctor, bro.

00:02:22A real doctor, bro.

00:02:25A real doctor, not a dentist.

00:02:27A real doctor, not a dentist.

00:02:28A real doctor.

00:02:29You are paid so much money for this brat to be a doctor. Now you act like an outpatient.

00:02:40Even the domestic worker had trouble. You know, she's busy vacuuming, you know, I come up there with my voice.

00:02:45Ha ha, ha ha, my name is Mickey Mouse. Meesca, Moosca, you missed the spot. Ha ha, ha ha.

00:02:52What do you think, Donald? What's the big deal, brother boy?

00:02:55She's like, shh, shh, Fasana. You know, I heard her talking to my wife, Fasana.

00:03:05Fasana, can I talk to you for a bit about Riyadh? He likes to talk to himself.

00:03:12Is he okay? Or is he a bit touched?

00:03:17And my wife didn't go, no, he's a comedian.

00:03:19And he used these funny voices to create hilarious scenarios for entertainment,

00:03:23to distract people from the chaotic aspect of life?

00:03:28No.

00:03:29She was like, yeah, he doesn't want to take his tablets, yeah.

00:03:34You must make do'a for him, pray for him.

00:03:37And I didn't even defend myself.

00:03:39I just burst in there.

00:03:40He beat me, pay him.

00:03:45Pay that man, his mommy.

00:03:47And I'm, I'm what they call, a whipped husband, peep.

00:03:53Right?

00:03:54But not whipped in a good way.

00:03:57I mean, with the leather, you know,

00:03:58you've been a naughty boy.

00:04:02Now for me, I'm whipped, as in I listen to my wife.

00:04:06For me, it's more like 50 shades of obedience.

00:04:10You know what I'm talking about?

00:04:12I'm a whipped in a good way, bruh.

00:04:14I'm not like Christian Grey, I'm Muslim pray.

00:04:17That's me.

00:04:23Riyadh, can you get some milk at the shop, please?

00:04:26Okay, babe, okay.

00:04:27Can I go to the toilet first?

00:04:28Is it number two?

00:04:30No.

00:04:30Okay.

00:04:31Yeah, no.

00:04:32That's my wife then.

00:04:33No.

00:04:33Okay.

00:04:34Yes, I'll kneep.

00:04:35I'll kneep.

00:04:36I'll kneep.

00:04:37I'll first go get milk at the shop.

00:04:40The milk is more important.

00:04:44But it's important now, guys,

00:04:45that I choose to be this way.

00:04:46I choose to be this way.

00:04:48In this era of evolving gender dynamics,

00:04:51I choose to be this way.

00:04:52My wife is not forcing me to do anything

00:04:54that I don't want to do

00:04:56of my own free will.

00:04:59Of my own internal compass

00:05:01and volition.

00:05:03She told me to make that clear to you people.

00:05:06She told me.

00:05:11But it's true, bruh.

00:05:13I'm a man.

00:05:14I'm not scared of my wife.

00:05:17Okay, I'm scared.

00:05:18She's here.

00:05:18No, I'm not scared.

00:05:20I'm not scared.

00:05:21My lovely wife.

00:05:22I'm not scared.

00:05:23Only when it's justifiably so.

00:05:26When men, we do stupid things sometimes.

00:05:29Unintentionally.

00:05:30Our primitive male brains,

00:05:31that's just how it functions.

00:05:33Like, just say, for instance,

00:05:34you sent to the shop to get milk.

00:05:36Right?

00:05:36Guys, that's a very common male errand.

00:05:39Can you get some milk at the shop?

00:05:40Okay.

00:05:41Then you go to the shop to get milk.

00:05:42And then you have a male idea.

00:05:44Bing!

00:05:45While I'm at the shop buying the milk,

00:05:46why don't I buy some other miscellaneous items

00:05:49that's of necessity in the home

00:05:51while I'm buying the milk?

00:05:53Right?

00:05:53So you buy a whole lot of items.

00:05:55Come home.

00:06:00Like a professor.

00:06:02Forget the milk.

00:06:05Make some noise if you know any mother,

00:06:07idiot, men like me.

00:06:11And I'm so self-involved.

00:06:13I didn't even realize I forgot the milk.

00:06:16And then my wife calls from the other room.

00:06:17Hey, where's the milk?

00:06:20That's when my sphincter loosens.

00:06:25Was the milk not there?

00:06:31Are you sure?

00:06:32And I'm not good at lying on the spot, eh?

00:06:34If I think about it,

00:06:35I can come up with something.

00:06:36No, babe, I went to the shop to get milk.

00:06:38But they were out of milk,

00:06:39so I was going to go to another shop.

00:06:40But then I saw it was almost Maghrib, right?

00:06:42Almost time for the evening prayer.

00:06:44So I thought I'd come home

00:06:45and pray for your health and well-being,

00:06:46our children's health and well-being.

00:06:48And I'm done with it.

00:06:49I'm going to go out and get the milk.

00:06:50Can I get you that hazelnut chocolate?

00:06:51Not bad, right?

00:06:54That's not me under pressure, bruh.

00:06:56Under pressure, I'm like,

00:06:58they discontinued milk.

00:07:06Got to keep the light going

00:07:08because you see there was a drought in Cape Town, right?

00:07:10Yeah.

00:07:10Because the drought,

00:07:11the cows got dehydrated.

00:07:13Yeah, because of the dehydration.

00:07:14I don't even understand cow physiology.

00:07:16They couldn't produce sufficient lactation output, right?

00:07:20So for the time being,

00:07:22they don't shoot the messenger, bruh.

00:07:23They had to.

00:07:24Force to.

00:07:25Discontinue.

00:07:27Milk.

00:07:29The other odds get almond milk.

00:07:31Yeah, yeah.

00:07:37Even the almond cows.

00:07:38Even the almond cows.

00:07:41The dehydrated.

00:07:42The almond cows.

00:07:44The soya cows.

00:07:45The oat cows.

00:07:47My wife doesn't play that, bruh.

00:07:49My wife comes into the room

00:07:50like Liam Neeson

00:07:52from the movie Taken.

00:07:55My beautiful wife

00:07:56walks into the room

00:07:57like a six foot seven

00:07:58American Irish bra.

00:08:00Freaking the heck out of you.

00:08:04I don't know who you think you are.

00:08:07I was a breastfeeding mother of four.

00:08:09I have a particular set of skills

00:08:11that make me a nightmare

00:08:13for people like you.

00:08:15Now if you go to the shop

00:08:16and get the milk,

00:08:17that'll be the end of it.

00:08:18No harm will come to you.

00:08:21But if you don't,

00:08:23I will look for you.

00:08:25I will find you.

00:08:27And I will moor you.

00:08:31I'm still getting the milk.

00:08:37Knaping from the first time.

00:08:39Still knaping.

00:08:43But you got to do things

00:08:45you don't want to do

00:08:46when you're married.

00:08:47Because it's about balance.

00:08:48You complete each other.

00:08:50Got to do things

00:08:50you don't want to do

00:08:51to be supportive.

00:08:53Like,

00:08:54I hate shopping, bruh.

00:08:55But I was a designated shopper

00:09:05during the pandemic.

00:09:06I had to deal

00:09:07first hand

00:09:08with those mother,

00:09:10you know,

00:09:10foot pedal sanitizers.

00:09:12You know those things.

00:09:18Was it just me?

00:09:19Because especially

00:09:19in the beginning,

00:09:20those were the most

00:09:21ineffective contraptions.

00:09:23They never functioned

00:09:25correctly, bruh.

00:09:26And I never understood that

00:09:27because at home

00:09:27when you have a dispenser,

00:09:29usually it shoots out

00:09:30with power,

00:09:31with velocity,

00:09:32with gusto,

00:09:34like a teenager

00:09:35into a sock.

00:09:36It's a garam one.

00:09:40Let's move on.

00:09:44Don't explain that

00:09:45to the aunties.

00:09:45Don't explain it.

00:09:50But the foot pedal

00:09:51sanitizers like

00:09:52slide down

00:09:55like an old man

00:09:56with a prostate problem.

00:09:57Like

00:09:57This thing look like

00:10:01got comorbidities.

00:10:03How is this supposed

00:10:04to protect me

00:10:05from COVID, bruh?

00:10:07Then I have to deal

00:10:09with the Woolies.

00:10:10Next customer, please.

00:10:12Next customer, please.

00:10:14Mother, please.

00:10:18I hate Woolies

00:10:19because you know why?

00:10:21They ask stupid questions

00:10:23to men, bruh.

00:10:25There's a question

00:10:25they always ask

00:10:26to men.

00:10:27They should be trained

00:10:28not to ask this question

00:10:29because our primitive,

00:10:30unprepared male brains

00:10:33should never be asked

00:10:34this question.

00:10:35It's unnecessary

00:10:36because you put down

00:10:3873

00:10:39different items

00:10:41on the counter, bruh.

00:10:43And this thief

00:10:44do you need a bag?

00:10:59There's enough stuff

00:11:00up here for me

00:11:01to go on expedition

00:11:02up Kilimanjaro.

00:11:05So no,

00:11:06I don't need a bag.

00:11:07Actually, I juggle.

00:11:09I juggle.

00:11:11Why suffer

00:11:12the inconvenience

00:11:13of a carrier bag

00:11:14when I can walk out

00:11:15but I don't say that

00:11:22out loud.

00:11:23Out loud,

00:11:24I'm like,

00:11:24yes, I need a bag.

00:11:27Take your knife down.

00:11:32Even though,

00:11:33in truth,

00:11:35in the boot

00:11:36of my car,

00:11:37I've got

00:11:39379 fabric bags

00:11:42that my wife

00:11:44put in there

00:11:45for this very purpose.

00:11:47And she reminded me,

00:11:48Riyad,

00:11:49before you go

00:11:50into the Woolworths,

00:11:51take the fabric bag

00:11:52out.

00:11:53She texted me,

00:11:54Riyad,

00:11:55before you go

00:11:55to the Woolworths,

00:11:56take the fabric

00:11:58bag out.

00:11:59She gave me

00:11:59a voice note,

00:12:00before you go

00:12:01to the Woolworths,

00:12:03take the

00:12:04mother

00:12:04fabric bag

00:12:08out.

00:12:08And do I

00:12:09do that?

00:12:10No.

00:12:12And do I

00:12:12quickly run

00:12:13outside

00:12:14and get

00:12:15the bag

00:12:15quickly?

00:12:16Are you

00:12:16just,

00:12:17are you

00:12:17just?

00:12:19In fact,

00:12:21bring back

00:12:21plastic bags,

00:12:23okay?

00:12:24Bring it back.

00:12:24I know it's bad

00:12:25for the environment

00:12:26but for my comfort,

00:12:27I don't care

00:12:28if a turtle

00:12:29has to die.

00:12:34I don't mean

00:12:35this.

00:12:36See,

00:12:36I don't mean

00:12:36any of this

00:12:37but I don't know

00:12:38what's going on

00:12:39with me.

00:12:40Get me so angry.

00:12:42You know,

00:12:43you got to be

00:12:43supportive.

00:12:44I want to be

00:12:44a good guy.

00:12:45You know,

00:12:46that's why

00:12:46I try and support

00:12:47my wife.

00:12:47She enjoys shopping

00:12:48or she used

00:12:48to enjoy shopping.

00:12:50She's one of the

00:12:50women that

00:12:50enjoys shopping.

00:12:51You know,

00:12:52sex is to say

00:12:53women enjoy shopping.

00:12:55You know,

00:12:55but she's a woman

00:12:56who just happens

00:12:57to enjoy.

00:12:58That goes like,

00:12:58I'm sure there are

00:12:59many women

00:12:59that don't enjoy

00:13:01shopping.

00:13:01Right?

00:13:02I've never seen them

00:13:02but I'm sure

00:13:04there's many.

00:13:05But she happens

00:13:06to be one of the

00:13:06women when they

00:13:06walk into a mall.

00:13:08It's like a

00:13:08Disney movie.

00:13:09Excitement,

00:13:21potential,

00:13:22enthusiasm.

00:13:24And just behind

00:13:25the wife,

00:13:25you usually see

00:13:26the husband

00:13:26looking just

00:13:28as enthusiastic.

00:13:43Is there a place

00:13:44for me to sit down?

00:13:49I think I've no

00:13:50places for me

00:13:51to sit down.

00:13:52always ask the

00:13:53same question.

00:13:54How long

00:13:55are you going

00:13:55to be?

00:13:57Because I just

00:13:57want to go to

00:13:58the Vodacom shop

00:13:59quickly.

00:14:00Yeah,

00:14:00because there's

00:14:01a problem

00:14:01with my Huawei

00:14:02phone.

00:14:03Yeah,

00:14:03Huawei,

00:14:04my Huawei.

00:14:04Yeah,

00:14:04that's how you

00:14:05pronounce it.

00:14:06Yeah,

00:14:06I didn't know

00:14:06you pronounce it

00:14:07Huawei.

00:14:08Yeah,

00:14:09I know you

00:14:09spell it

00:14:09Huawei.

00:14:10But you pronounce

00:14:15it Huawei.

00:14:15Huawei.

00:14:17Riyad,

00:14:17you always

00:14:18want to go

00:14:18somewhere.

00:14:19You're always

00:14:19on the move.

00:14:21Don't you

00:14:21just want to

00:14:21be present

00:14:22for once?

00:14:24That's the

00:14:24buzzword.

00:14:25Don't you

00:14:25just want to

00:14:26be present?

00:14:27Don't you

00:14:28just want to

00:14:28spend time

00:14:29with me?

00:14:31Don't you

00:14:31just want

00:14:32to be present?

00:14:32Yeah?

00:14:44I want to

00:14:45be present.

00:14:47We

00:14:47want to be

00:14:47present

00:14:48here by the

00:14:48Vodacom shop

00:14:49please.

00:14:51Problem

00:14:51with my

00:14:52Huawei phone.

00:14:54You know,

00:14:54because women,

00:14:55you just want

00:14:55us to be there

00:14:56as support.

00:14:57Just in case.

00:14:57Just be there.

00:14:58Just be there

00:14:59just in case

00:14:59I need you

00:15:00as support.

00:15:01Just be there

00:15:01just in case.

00:15:02Just in case.

00:15:03You don't need

00:15:03to offer

00:15:04solutions to

00:15:05my problems.

00:15:06Just let's

00:15:06share in the

00:15:07expression of

00:15:08our problems.

00:15:09We'll just

00:15:09express our

00:15:10problems together

00:15:11even if the

00:15:11problem is you.

00:15:12You just

00:15:12have to express

00:15:13and we'll

00:15:14share it

00:15:15together

00:15:15enjoying the

00:15:16experience of

00:15:17expressing the

00:15:18problems about

00:15:19you together

00:15:20and just being

00:15:20there as a

00:15:21support if

00:15:22I need you.

00:15:23And I want

00:15:23to be supportive

00:15:24bruh.

00:15:24I want to

00:15:25be supportive.

00:15:26That's why

00:15:26I'm one of

00:15:27the husbands

00:15:27that hold

00:15:28the handbag

00:15:29in the mall

00:15:29bruh.

00:15:31Right?

00:15:31I see my

00:15:32brothers are

00:15:32there dude.

00:15:33Like the

00:15:34OGs they have

00:15:35no idea

00:15:35about this

00:15:36thing bruh.

00:15:37The OGs

00:15:37didn't even

00:15:38have the

00:15:38expectation

00:15:39of holding

00:15:40the bag.

00:15:41Right?

00:15:41My generation

00:15:42some of us

00:15:43we have the

00:15:44expectation

00:15:44not everybody

00:15:45did but we

00:15:45have the

00:15:46expectation

00:15:46to hold

00:15:47the bag.

00:15:48and then the

00:15:48new generation

00:15:49got their

00:15:51own

00:15:51handbags

00:15:51bruh.

00:15:59But I

00:16:00hate holding

00:16:00the bag.

00:16:01I hate

00:16:01holding

00:16:01the bag.

00:16:02I do it

00:16:02but I

00:16:02hate it.

00:16:04But I

00:16:04do it.

00:16:05Why?

00:16:05You know

00:16:06because I

00:16:06want to be

00:16:06supportive

00:16:06and I

00:16:07hate it

00:16:07because I

00:16:07don't know

00:16:08as a

00:16:08man

00:16:09how to

00:16:09hold

00:16:10the

00:16:10bloody

00:16:10bag.

00:16:11Nobody

00:16:12told me

00:16:12everything

00:16:15is

00:16:15uncomfortable

00:16:16because you

00:16:18can't look

00:16:19too

00:16:19comfortable.

00:16:32My wife

00:16:32is always

00:16:33buttering me

00:16:34up.

00:16:35Don't worry

00:16:35Riyad

00:16:36you're my

00:16:36superhero.

00:16:40What?

00:16:42What kind

00:16:43of

00:16:43superhero?

00:16:45One of

00:16:46the

00:16:46X-Men.

00:16:46I'm like

00:16:47Wolverine?

00:16:49No,

00:16:49no,

00:16:49Caitlyn

00:16:50Jenner.

00:17:01So I

00:17:02want to be

00:17:02supportive.

00:17:03So I

00:17:03don't

00:17:03mind

00:17:03holding

00:17:04the

00:17:04handbag.

00:17:04But here's

00:17:05where I

00:17:05draw

00:17:06the

00:17:06line.

00:17:07Ladies,

00:17:08please be

00:17:08compassionate

00:17:09to your

00:17:10husband or

00:17:10your

00:17:10boyfriend.

00:17:11don't

00:17:12make

00:17:12us

00:17:12look

00:17:13inside

00:17:14your

00:17:15bloody

00:17:15handbag.

00:17:16You

00:17:17don't

00:17:17realize

00:17:18our

00:17:19primitive

00:17:19male

00:17:20brains

00:17:21are

00:17:21not

00:17:22equipped

00:17:22to

00:17:23deal

00:17:24with

00:17:24the

00:17:24celestial

00:17:25vortex

00:17:25that

00:17:28is a

00:17:28lady's

00:17:29handbag.

00:17:29Especially

00:17:30like a

00:17:30mother of

00:17:31four

00:17:31handbag.

00:17:32The

00:17:33amount

00:17:33of

00:17:33stuff

00:17:34you

00:17:34can

00:17:34fit

00:17:34in

00:17:35a

00:17:35thing

00:17:35defies

00:17:36the

00:17:36laws

00:17:37of

00:17:37physics.

00:17:38I

00:17:39think

00:17:39the

00:17:40secret

00:17:40to

00:17:40the

00:17:41black

00:17:41hole

00:17:41exists

00:17:42inside

00:17:43a

00:17:44lady's

00:17:45handbag.

00:17:46You

00:17:46know,

00:17:46men,

00:17:47we

00:17:47simple,

00:17:48right?

00:17:49Wallets,

00:17:49keys,

00:17:50cell phone.

00:17:51Wallets,

00:17:52keys,

00:17:52cell phone.

00:17:53Everything

00:17:53that's

00:17:53important to

00:17:54us is

00:17:54in this

00:17:55region

00:17:55of

00:17:55wherever.

00:18:04So don't

00:18:04make us

00:18:05look inside

00:18:05the

00:18:05bank.

00:18:07Don't

00:18:07do it

00:18:07us,

00:18:08brah.

00:18:08You

00:18:08know,

00:18:09my wife

00:18:09is always

00:18:09like,

00:18:10Rian,

00:18:10can you

00:18:10just

00:18:11check

00:18:11for my

00:18:11cell phone

00:18:12in the

00:18:12bank,

00:18:12please?

00:18:16Okay,

00:18:17I've got to

00:18:17work myself

00:18:18up.

00:18:18Okay,

00:18:19I'm going

00:18:19to go

00:18:19in there,

00:18:20brah.

00:18:20Rian,

00:18:21no fear,

00:18:22no fear.

00:18:23You're going

00:18:24to go

00:18:24in there,

00:18:24no fear,

00:18:25you're a

00:18:25man.

00:18:29So much

00:18:32receipts

00:18:32in here.

00:18:34Headclips,

00:18:35head ties,

00:18:36moisturiser,

00:18:38how moist

00:18:39you need

00:18:39to be,

00:18:39sanitiser,

00:18:41tissues,

00:18:42used and

00:18:43unused,

00:18:43loose

00:18:45nappies,

00:18:46sweets

00:18:47from

00:18:47spur,

00:18:49ocean

00:18:50baskets,

00:18:51and then

00:18:52just one

00:18:52compartment,

00:18:53one compartment,

00:18:54brother,

00:18:54other compartment,

00:18:55battery charger,

00:18:56cell phone wire,

00:18:57inverter for

00:18:58load shedding.

00:19:02Babe,

00:19:03chick,

00:19:03I can't believe

00:19:04this,

00:19:04haven't seen

00:19:05this for so long.

00:19:06Babe,

00:19:06chick,

00:19:07my balls.

00:19:15My balls.

00:19:19I'm just going to keep them,

00:19:20okay?

00:19:21Okay,

00:19:22just one,

00:19:22I'll keep one.

00:19:24One for me,

00:19:25one for you.

00:19:26So I checked

00:19:31for a long time,

00:19:32I couldn't find

00:19:33the cell phone,

00:19:35right?

00:19:36So I responded,

00:19:36I was like,

00:19:37babe,

00:19:38the cell phone's

00:19:38not here.

00:19:40And then she

00:19:41responded with,

00:19:42I'm sure you heard

00:19:42this.

00:19:43Like I said it

00:19:44first of all

00:19:44like that,

00:19:45you know,

00:19:45like with pacing

00:19:46my voice,

00:19:47I said exactly

00:19:47the cell phone's

00:19:48not here.

00:19:49I think it's

00:19:50because I

00:19:50held onto my

00:19:51balls a little

00:19:51bit,

00:19:51I think so.

00:19:52And then she

00:19:56responded with,

00:19:56you know,

00:19:57I'm sure you heard

00:19:57this.

00:19:58Now Riyad,

00:19:59open your eyes.

00:20:04I'm sure I put

00:20:05the cell phone

00:20:05in there.

00:20:06No, babe,

00:20:07chick,

00:20:07my eyes is open,

00:20:08chick,

00:20:08I'm open.

00:20:10Change of

00:20:11prescription,

00:20:12all my contacts,

00:20:13everything.

00:20:13I checked

00:20:13you a long time.

00:20:15So I checked

00:20:15under my balls,

00:20:16this new cell phone's

00:20:18not here.

00:20:18It's not just me

00:20:19that can forget

00:20:19things,

00:20:20you can forget

00:20:21things also.

00:20:22We're all

00:20:22getting older.

00:20:24And then she

00:20:25responded with

00:20:25the very common,

00:20:27I have to do

00:20:29everything myself.

00:20:34And I checked

00:20:35for a long time.

00:20:36You know,

00:20:37husbands and wives

00:20:37are getting

00:20:38into little tiffs

00:20:38and you want

00:20:39to win

00:20:39a little argument.

00:20:41And I was happy

00:20:41because I was

00:20:42going to win.

00:20:42I was going

00:20:43to be right.

00:20:44The cell phone

00:20:44wasn't dead.

00:20:47Wasn't there?

00:20:48Not even a split

00:20:49second.

00:20:49She's like,

00:20:50are you blind?

00:20:51Are you blind?

00:20:52I was like,

00:21:13just take my ball

00:21:14back.

00:21:15It's okay.

00:21:15safer with you

00:21:24in any case.

00:21:31You know,

00:21:31you got to do

00:21:33things you don't

00:21:34want to do,

00:21:35bruh.

00:21:36And you're married.

00:21:37I went to

00:21:38try to do

00:21:40something for

00:21:40myself for change.

00:21:41I went to buy

00:21:41some shoes.

00:21:43You know,

00:21:43give myself

00:21:44some retail

00:21:45therapy.

00:21:46Got to buy

00:21:46shoes.

00:21:47But then I had

00:21:47to deal with

00:21:48an overzealous

00:21:49shoe salesman.

00:21:51You know that,

00:21:51bruh.

00:21:52Huzzers.

00:21:55Ask me stupid

00:21:56questions.

00:21:57You want to

00:21:57buy some shoes?

00:21:59No,

00:21:59I was hoping

00:22:00to catch

00:22:00athlete's foot

00:22:01from the

00:22:02display models.

00:22:03But I

00:22:08don't say

00:22:09that out

00:22:09loud.

00:22:10I was like,

00:22:10yes,

00:22:10I'd like to

00:22:11buy some

00:22:11shoes,

00:22:12please.

00:22:14Right?

00:22:15And then he

00:22:15comes always

00:22:16with one

00:22:16shoe.

00:22:17Right?

00:22:17They always do

00:22:18that,

00:22:18come with

00:22:18one shoe.

00:22:19I got two

00:22:20feet,

00:22:20bruh.

00:22:21I didn't

00:22:21come here

00:22:21like a

00:22:22pirate.

00:22:22I'd be

00:22:23wanting a

00:22:23shoe.

00:22:25Then you

00:22:26try the

00:22:26shoe on,

00:22:27everybody does

00:22:27that weird

00:22:28deer learning

00:22:29to walk

00:22:29to test

00:22:30the

00:22:30effectiveness

00:22:31of the

00:22:32shoe.

00:22:32It's a

00:22:33very important

00:22:33part of the

00:22:34shoe buying

00:22:35ritual.

00:22:36But more

00:22:36importantly,

00:22:37part of the

00:22:37shoe buying

00:22:38ritual is

00:22:38pressing on

00:22:39that big

00:22:40toe.

00:22:42This is

00:22:42the imperative

00:22:43fundamental

00:22:44part of the

00:22:44shoe buying

00:22:45ritual.

00:22:46Now for

00:22:46kids,

00:22:47I understand

00:22:47the reason

00:22:48we do this.

00:22:49Because we

00:22:49have to assess

00:22:50the growth

00:22:50potential

00:22:51within the

00:22:52confines

00:22:53of the

00:22:53shoe.

00:22:54Makes

00:22:54perfect

00:22:55sense.

00:22:55But for

00:22:56adults,

00:22:56my foot

00:22:57has been

00:22:57the same

00:22:58size

00:22:58for the

00:22:59past

00:22:5920

00:23:00years.

00:23:01Why am

00:23:01I pressing

00:23:02on the

00:23:03big toe?

00:23:04And I was

00:23:05buying

00:23:05sandals,

00:23:06so I

00:23:06don't even

00:23:07know.

00:23:11I have

00:23:12to do

00:23:12this,

00:23:12it's a

00:23:13part of

00:23:13the

00:23:13ritual.

00:23:15I think

00:23:17I got

00:23:17the ingrown

00:23:18or something.

00:23:22I went

00:23:23to buy

00:23:23shoes

00:23:24and I

00:23:25went to

00:23:25go buy

00:23:26my wife

00:23:26pads.

00:23:29For those

00:23:29of you

00:23:30confused by

00:23:30what pads

00:23:31I mean,

00:23:31I mean

00:23:32feminine

00:23:32hygiene

00:23:33of

00:23:33products.

00:23:35I

00:23:35wanted to

00:23:36buy the

00:23:36pads,

00:23:37bruh.

00:23:38Right?

00:23:38But I've

00:23:39been buying

00:23:39pads for

00:23:4020 years

00:23:40and my

00:23:41brain is

00:23:42still in

00:23:42denial

00:23:43when my

00:23:44wife asked

00:23:45me to

00:23:45buy pads.

00:23:46Right?

00:23:47Because I

00:23:47don't want

00:23:47to buy

00:23:48the

00:23:48pads.

00:23:50Right?

00:23:50She's like,

00:23:50Riyad,

00:23:51can you

00:23:51get me

00:23:51some

00:23:52pads,

00:23:52please?

00:23:53I

00:23:53go to

00:23:54the

00:23:54CNA.

00:23:56Want to

00:23:56write

00:23:57something

00:23:57down?

00:23:58I

00:23:59want

00:23:59pads

00:23:59with

00:23:59a

00:23:59pen

00:24:00and

00:24:00lines

00:24:01and

00:24:01no

00:24:01lines.

00:24:04No,

00:24:04Riyad,

00:24:05I'd

00:24:05like

00:24:05some

00:24:06pads.

00:24:08Oh,

00:24:08my

00:24:08pads.

00:24:10I'm

00:24:11going to

00:24:11get

00:24:11the

00:24:11pads.

00:24:12Right?

00:24:13And I'm

00:24:13aware of

00:24:14all the

00:24:14details of

00:24:14the

00:24:15pads.

00:24:15I've

00:24:15been

00:24:15buying

00:24:16pads

00:24:16for

00:24:16many

00:24:16years.

00:24:17All

00:24:17the

00:24:17indicators

00:24:18on

00:24:18the

00:24:19pads.

00:24:19Right?

00:24:20On

00:24:20the

00:24:20side

00:24:20of

00:24:20the

00:24:20pad

00:24:20box,

00:24:21they've

00:24:21got

00:24:21their

00:24:21little

00:24:21droplets.

00:24:26On

00:24:27the

00:24:27side.

00:24:27Have

00:24:27you

00:24:27seen

00:24:28these

00:24:28droplets?

00:24:29On

00:24:29the

00:24:30side.

00:24:30Some

00:24:30of

00:24:30you

00:24:30have

00:24:31no

00:24:31idea.

00:24:31The

00:24:31OGs.

00:24:32Let

00:24:32me

00:24:32explain.

00:24:33The

00:24:33droplets

00:24:33on

00:24:34the

00:24:34side,

00:24:35that

00:24:35indicates

00:24:35the

00:24:36amount

00:24:37of

00:24:37internal

00:24:37tears

00:24:38in the

00:24:38heart

00:24:38of

00:24:39a

00:24:39husband.

00:24:47They

00:24:47have

00:24:47to

00:24:47buy

00:24:47the

00:24:48pads.

00:24:49My

00:24:49heart

00:24:50has

00:24:50a

00:24:50heavy

00:24:50flow,

00:24:51bruh.

00:24:51Heavy

00:24:51flow.

00:24:54I put

00:24:54effort

00:24:54into

00:24:55this

00:24:55thing.

00:24:56You

00:24:56know?

00:24:57Get confused

00:24:58in the

00:24:58pad aisle.

00:24:59The

00:25:00staff

00:25:00is

00:25:00going

00:25:00and

00:25:01I

00:25:01don't

00:25:02me.

00:25:03Don't

00:25:04me.

00:25:04This

00:25:04is

00:25:04diskim

00:25:05not

00:25:05clicks.

00:25:05Don't

00:25:06me.

00:25:09And

00:25:09on the

00:25:10side

00:25:10of the

00:25:10pad

00:25:10box

00:25:10they

00:25:11see

00:25:11the

00:25:11pads

00:25:11have

00:25:12got

00:25:12wings

00:25:12bruh.

00:25:13They're

00:25:14not

00:25:14wings.

00:25:14They

00:25:15are

00:25:15flaps.

00:25:17There

00:25:17are

00:25:17no

00:25:17aerological

00:25:18capabilities

00:25:19to

00:25:20the

00:25:20pads.

00:25:20They

00:25:21flaps.

00:25:21You

00:25:21don't

00:25:21do

00:25:22this.

00:25:25They

00:25:26flaps.

00:25:29There

00:25:29are

00:25:29no

00:25:30aeronautical

00:25:31capabilities

00:25:31to

00:25:31the

00:25:31pads.

00:25:32I

00:25:32never

00:25:32see

00:25:32my

00:25:33kids

00:25:33on

00:25:33the

00:25:33balcony.

00:25:34Daddy

00:25:34watch

00:25:34this

00:25:35and

00:25:35there's

00:25:36a

00:25:36codex.

00:25:41Like

00:25:41bruh

00:25:41what are

00:25:42you

00:25:42doing?

00:25:42At

00:25:42least

00:25:42use

00:25:43a

00:25:43fresh

00:25:43one.

00:25:44Hey

00:25:45let's

00:25:45just

00:25:45move

00:25:45on

00:25:46bruh.

00:25:47That's

00:25:48another

00:25:48carama

00:25:48just

00:25:49move

00:25:49on.

00:25:52And

00:25:52it

00:25:52doesn't

00:25:52even

00:25:53make

00:25:53sense

00:25:53bruh.

00:25:55It

00:25:55be

00:25:55too

00:25:55heavy.

00:25:55You

00:25:56know

00:25:56it

00:25:56be

00:25:56heavy

00:25:56it's

00:25:58already

00:25:59flat

00:25:59by

00:25:59that

00:25:59point

00:26:00bruh.

00:26:03Now

00:26:03when

00:26:03you're

00:26:03walking

00:26:04back

00:26:04right

00:26:04from

00:26:05the

00:26:06shopping

00:26:06mall

00:26:07then

00:26:07you

00:26:07walk

00:26:07back

00:26:07to

00:26:08your

00:26:08car

00:26:08right

00:26:09and

00:26:09you

00:26:09have

00:26:10to

00:26:10deal

00:26:10with

00:26:11those

00:26:11mothers

00:26:11those

00:26:12idiots

00:26:12those

00:26:13pupils

00:26:14those

00:26:15twerthes

00:26:16looking

00:26:17for

00:26:18parking

00:26:18and

00:26:19I

00:26:19hate

00:26:20the

00:26:20people

00:26:20looking

00:26:20for

00:26:21parking

00:26:21because

00:26:21they

00:26:22act

00:26:22so

00:26:22creepy

00:26:22bruh.

00:26:23You

00:26:23know

00:26:24those

00:26:24bruh

00:26:24say

00:26:24you

00:26:24just

00:26:24walking

00:26:25back

00:26:25to

00:26:25your

00:26:25car

00:26:26mind

00:26:26your

00:26:26own

00:26:27business

00:26:27and

00:26:29there's

00:26:29a

00:26:29huge

00:26:30SUV

00:26:31following

00:26:31you

00:26:32and

00:26:41you

00:26:41get

00:26:41to

00:26:42the

00:26:42car

00:26:42right

00:26:43and

00:26:43then

00:26:44you

00:26:44have

00:26:44to

00:26:44deal

00:26:44with

00:26:44that

00:26:44mime

00:26:45through

00:26:45the

00:26:45car

00:26:46window

00:26:46he's

00:26:46like

00:26:47and

00:27:01and

00:27:01I'm

00:27:01always

00:27:01like

00:27:01no

00:27:01I'm

00:27:02not

00:27:02going

00:27:02to

00:27:02leave

00:27:03I'm

00:27:04just

00:27:04getting

00:27:04something

00:27:05from

00:27:05the

00:27:06car

00:27:06you

00:27:07know

00:27:07I'm

00:27:07just

00:27:07getting

00:27:08something

00:27:08from

00:27:09the

00:27:09car

00:27:10it's

00:27:11it's

00:27:11all

00:27:11sad

00:27:11and

00:27:19they'll

00:27:20wait

00:27:20for

00:27:20the

00:27:20bra

00:27:20to

00:27:21go

00:27:21around

00:27:21the

00:27:21corner

00:27:22then

00:27:23I

00:27:24leave

00:27:24no

00:27:31actually

00:27:31don't

00:27:32do

00:27:32that

00:27:32bra

00:27:32but

00:27:33I

00:27:33think

00:27:33of

00:27:33doing

00:27:34that

00:27:34and

00:27:35it

00:27:35makes

00:27:35me

00:27:35feel

00:27:35bad

00:27:36that

00:27:36I

00:27:36actually

00:27:36think

00:27:37of

00:27:37doing

00:27:37that

00:27:37to

00:27:37that

00:27:37poor

00:27:38guy

00:27:38right

00:27:39and

00:27:39then

00:27:39I

00:27:39over

00:27:40compensate

00:27:40and

00:27:41act

00:27:41too

00:27:42nice

00:27:42I

00:27:43am

00:27:43weird

00:27:43bra

00:27:43even

00:27:44if

00:27:44I

00:27:44don't

00:27:44want

00:27:45to

00:27:45leave

00:27:45I

00:27:46leave

00:27:47bra

00:27:47my

00:27:51wife

00:27:51is

00:27:52still

00:27:52inside

00:27:52nah

00:27:56I

00:27:56am

00:27:56the

00:27:56one

00:27:56looking

00:27:56for

00:27:57parking

00:27:57get

00:28:07a

00:28:07phone

00:28:07call

00:28:07I

00:28:07don't

00:28:08know

00:28:08where

00:28:08you

00:28:08are

00:28:08okay

00:28:17then

00:28:18you

00:28:18see

00:28:18that

00:28:18oasis

00:28:19in

00:28:19the

00:28:19desert

00:28:20you

00:28:20know

00:28:20the

00:28:21potential

00:28:21for

00:28:22parking

00:28:22there

00:28:22in

00:28:23the

00:28:23distance

00:28:23bumper

00:28:24bumper

00:28:24indentation

00:28:25bumper

00:28:25like

00:28:26it's

00:28:26there

00:28:26the

00:28:27potential

00:28:27the

00:28:27oasis

00:28:28in

00:28:28the

00:28:28desert

00:28:28and

00:28:29you

00:28:29get

00:28:29there

00:28:29brah

00:28:30and

00:28:30that's

00:28:30a

00:28:30bloody

00:28:31Hyundai

00:28:31addos

00:28:32brah

00:28:32a

00:28:38madder

00:28:38addos

00:28:39listen

00:28:41here

00:28:41brah

00:28:42listen

00:28:42here

00:28:42if

00:28:43your

00:28:43car

00:28:44is

00:28:44just

00:28:44a

00:28:44little

00:28:45bit

00:28:45bigger

00:28:45than

00:28:45hot

00:28:46wheels

00:28:46take

00:28:48the

00:28:49car

00:28:49with

00:28:49you

00:28:49when

00:28:50you

00:28:50shop

00:28:50put

00:28:55the

00:28:55atos

00:28:56in

00:28:56your

00:28:57trolley

00:28:57or

00:28:59your

00:28:59wife's

00:28:59handbag

00:29:00when

00:29:03you're

00:29:03done

00:29:03shopping

00:29:04take

00:29:04the

00:29:04atos

00:29:05arm

00:29:05you

00:29:09gotta do

00:29:13things

00:29:14that you

00:29:14don't

00:29:14want

00:29:14to

00:29:14do

00:29:14you

00:29:15know

00:29:15to

00:29:15be

00:29:15supportive

00:29:16you

00:29:16know

00:29:17because

00:29:17you

00:29:17have

00:29:17to

00:29:17also

00:29:18join

00:29:18forces

00:29:19against

00:29:19the

00:29:19kids

00:29:20the

00:29:20kids

00:29:21the

00:29:21spawn

00:29:22right

00:29:25because

00:29:25they

00:29:26never

00:29:26listen

00:29:26getting

00:29:27out

00:29:27of

00:29:27the

00:29:28house

00:29:28is

00:29:28a

00:29:28military

00:29:29operation

00:29:30for

00:29:31married

00:29:31with

00:29:31kids

00:29:31people

00:29:32single

00:29:32people

00:29:33you

00:29:33have

00:29:33no

00:29:33idea

00:29:34how

00:29:34difficult

00:29:35it

00:29:35is

00:29:35to

00:29:36leave

00:29:36like

00:29:37difficult

00:29:38just

00:29:38to

00:29:38go

00:29:38outside

00:29:39the

00:29:39house

00:29:39because

00:29:40you

00:29:40just

00:29:40get

00:29:40an

00:29:40idea

00:29:41I

00:29:41need

00:29:42to

00:29:42leave

00:29:42that

00:29:46doesn't

00:29:46dust

00:29:46in

00:29:46memory

00:29:47for

00:29:47people

00:29:47like

00:29:47me

00:29:48that

00:29:49's

00:29:49that

00:29:49memory

00:29:50you

00:29:50know

00:29:50even

00:29:51when

00:29:51you

00:29:51first

00:29:52just

00:29:52get

00:29:52married

00:29:52right

00:29:53you

00:29:53know

00:29:53first

00:29:54of

00:29:54all

00:29:54you

00:29:54get

00:29:54slowed

00:29:54down

00:29:55by

00:29:55your

00:29:55partner

00:29:55because

00:29:56I

00:29:56used to

00:29:58help

00:29:58my

00:29:58wife

00:29:58get

00:29:58dressed

00:29:59I

00:29:59don't

00:29:59mean

00:29:59like

00:29:59a

00:30:00nurse

00:30:00like

00:30:00I

00:30:02used to

00:30:02help her

00:30:03choose

00:30:03to get

00:30:03dressed

00:30:04and I

00:30:04used to

00:30:04hate

00:30:05to

00:30:05do

00:30:05this

00:30:05because

00:30:06my

00:30:07primitive

00:30:07male

00:30:08brain

00:30:09is

00:30:09not

00:30:09equipped

00:30:10to

00:30:10discern

00:30:10the

00:30:11superiority

00:30:12between

00:30:12the

00:30:13two

00:30:13things

00:30:13but

00:30:14even

00:30:14though

00:30:15I

00:30:15can't

00:30:15do

00:30:15it

00:30:16I'm

00:30:16ineffective

00:30:17at

00:30:17it

00:30:17I

00:30:17try

00:30:18because

00:30:18I

00:30:19want

00:30:19to

00:30:19be

00:30:19supportive

00:30:20but

00:30:20no

00:30:20matter

00:30:21what

00:30:21I

00:30:24choose

00:30:25the

00:30:25other

00:30:25one

00:30:25not

00:30:29just

00:30:29sometimes

00:30:29100%

00:30:31of the

00:30:31time

00:30:31the

00:30:32other

00:30:32day

00:30:33she's

00:30:33like

00:30:33should

00:30:34I have

00:30:34the

00:30:34green

00:30:35dress

00:30:35or

00:30:35the

00:30:35red

00:30:36dress

00:30:36the

00:30:36green

00:30:37dress

00:30:37or

00:30:37the

00:30:37red

00:30:38dress

00:30:38I'm

00:30:38like

00:30:38the

00:30:38red

00:30:39green

00:30:40red

00:30:40the

00:30:41red

00:30:42the

00:30:44red

00:30:45the

00:30:45red

00:30:46dress

00:30:46I

00:30:48was

00:30:49hoping

00:30:49for

00:30:49the

00:30:49green

00:30:49one

00:30:50but

00:30:50that's

00:31:01in

00:31:01my

00:31:01brain

00:31:01the

00:31:03outside

00:31:04babe

00:31:04can I

00:31:04talk to

00:31:04you

00:31:04for

00:31:05a

00:31:05minute

00:31:05can I

00:31:06talk to

00:31:06you

00:31:06why

00:31:07you

00:31:07always

00:31:07do

00:31:08that

00:31:08to

00:31:08a

00:31:08person

00:31:09you

00:31:10always

00:31:10ask

00:31:11me

00:31:11to

00:31:11help

00:31:11you

00:31:11choose

00:31:12and

00:31:12I

00:31:12don't

00:31:13like

00:31:13doing

00:31:13it

00:31:13but

00:31:13I

00:31:14try

00:31:14I

00:31:15don't

00:31:15like

00:31:15doing

00:31:15it

00:31:15because

00:31:15my

00:31:15primitive

00:31:16male

00:31:16brain

00:31:16is

00:31:16not

00:31:17equipped

00:31:17to

00:31:17deal

00:31:18with

00:31:18discerning

00:31:19because

00:31:19you

00:31:19only

00:31:19just

00:31:19put

00:31:20the

00:31:20dress

00:31:20like

00:31:20in

00:31:21front

00:31:21of

00:31:21you

00:31:21like

00:31:21you

00:31:22not

00:31:25try

00:31:25it

00:31:25on

00:31:25you

00:31:25put

00:31:25it

00:31:25in

00:31:26front

00:31:26and

00:31:26I

00:31:27must

00:31:27now

00:31:27imagine

00:31:28like

00:31:28men

00:31:29we

00:31:29are

00:31:29not

00:31:29good

00:31:29at

00:31:29imagining

00:31:30women

00:31:30with

00:31:30their

00:31:31clothes

00:31:31on

00:31:31I

00:31:35don't

00:31:35mean

00:31:35it

00:31:35like

00:31:35that

00:31:36I

00:31:36don't

00:31:36mean

00:31:36like

00:31:36that

00:31:37and

00:31:40then

00:31:40sometimes

00:31:41put

00:31:41one

00:31:41earring

00:31:41on

00:31:42the

00:31:42ear

00:31:42another

00:31:42earring

00:31:43on

00:31:43the

00:31:43other

00:31:43ear

00:31:44one

00:31:44two

00:31:44on

00:31:45foot

00:31:45on

00:31:46the

00:31:46other

00:31:46foot

00:31:46and

00:31:46what

00:31:47what's

00:31:55and

00:31:55I

00:31:55can't

00:31:56do it

00:31:56but

00:31:56I

00:31:56try

00:31:57but

00:31:57no

00:31:58matter

00:31:58what

00:31:58I

00:31:58suggest

00:31:59you

00:32:01always

00:32:01choose

00:32:01the

00:32:01other

00:32:02one

00:32:02bro

00:32:02to

00:32:03pass

00:32:04his

00:32:04feelings

00:32:05she's like

00:32:08know

00:32:09that

00:32:09I

00:32:09appreciate

00:32:09you

00:32:10know

00:32:10that

00:32:11I

00:32:11appreciate

00:32:12you

00:32:12from

00:32:13the

00:32:13bottom

00:32:13of

00:32:14my

00:32:14heart

00:32:14I

00:32:15appreciate

00:32:15you

00:32:15my

00:32:16love

00:32:16but

00:32:17you

00:32:17know

00:32:17you

00:32:18don't

00:32:18always

00:32:18make

00:32:19the

00:32:19best

00:32:19choices

00:32:19like

00:32:22I

00:32:22chose

00:32:22you

00:32:22I

00:32:28didn't

00:32:28say

00:32:28that

00:32:28loud

00:32:29are

00:32:29you

00:32:29mad

00:32:29I'm

00:32:29still

00:32:30here

00:32:30I'm

00:32:30still

00:32:31here

00:32:31emotional

00:32:35damage

00:32:36you

00:32:44have

00:32:44to

00:32:44band

00:32:44together

00:32:45right

00:32:46against

00:32:46the

00:32:46kids

00:32:47marriage

00:32:48is

00:32:48about

00:32:48balance

00:32:49you're

00:32:50supposed

00:32:50to

00:32:50complete

00:32:51each

00:32:51other

00:32:51it's

00:32:52about

00:32:52balance

00:32:52like

00:32:53for

00:32:53example

00:32:53the

00:32:53things

00:32:54that

00:32:54I

00:32:54don't

00:32:54do

00:32:54well

00:32:55my

00:32:55wife

00:32:55does

00:32:56well

00:32:56and

00:32:56the

00:32:57things

00:32:57that

00:32:57I

00:32:57do

00:32:57well

00:32:58she

00:32:58does

00:32:58better

00:32:59so

00:32:59it's

00:33:01equitable

00:33:04you

00:33:05know

00:33:05but

00:33:05you

00:33:06have

00:33:06to

00:33:06band

00:33:06together

00:33:07against

00:33:07the

00:33:07kids

00:33:07because

00:33:08my

00:33:08kids

00:33:08I've

00:33:08got

00:33:08four

00:33:09kids

00:33:09we've

00:33:09been

00:33:10overpopulating

00:33:11the

00:33:11earth

00:33:11and

00:33:12the

00:33:12babies

00:33:12they

00:33:13fight

00:33:13all

00:33:13the

00:33:14time

00:33:14like

00:33:15I

00:33:15have

00:33:15to

00:33:15go

00:33:15to

00:33:16the

00:33:16toilet

00:33:16for

00:33:17just

00:33:17some

00:33:17peace

00:33:18of

00:33:18mind

00:33:18but

00:33:19the

00:33:20minute

00:33:20I

00:33:20close

00:33:20the

00:33:21door

00:33:21it's

00:33:21like

00:33:21dad

00:33:24my

00:33:25took

00:33:25my

00:33:25buckle

00:33:26gun

00:33:26it's

00:33:27not

00:33:27your

00:33:27buckle

00:33:28gun

00:33:28it's

00:33:28my

00:33:29buckle

00:33:29no

00:33:30it's

00:33:30my

00:33:30buckle

00:33:31gun

00:33:31your

00:33:31red

00:33:32buckle

00:33:32gun

00:33:33no

00:33:33my

00:33:33one

00:33:34is

00:33:34not

00:33:34that

00:33:34one

00:33:35you

00:33:35lied

00:33:36to be

00:33:36dead

00:33:36put

00:33:36for

00:33:37me

00:33:37no

00:33:37you

00:33:37lie

00:33:38you

00:33:38can

00:33:38I

00:33:39have

00:33:39to

00:33:39suck

00:33:39it

00:33:39back

00:33:39up

00:33:40guys

00:33:41what's

00:33:48the

00:33:48problem

00:33:49give daddy

00:33:51a chance

00:33:51man

00:33:52please

00:33:52stop

00:33:53fighting

00:33:54I

00:33:56can't get

00:33:56their shoes

00:33:57on

00:33:57they never

00:33:57want to

00:33:58have

00:33:58their shoes

00:33:58on

00:33:58even

00:33:59my

00:33:59eldest

00:33:59you

00:33:59can't

00:34:00put

00:34:00his

00:34:00shoes

00:34:00on

00:34:01he's

00:34:01got

00:34:01this

00:34:01big

00:34:02hobbit

00:34:02feet

00:34:02brah

00:34:03hairy

00:34:03feet

00:34:04and he

00:34:04can't

00:34:04like he's

00:34:05like a farmer

00:34:05dude

00:34:06never wants

00:34:07to put

00:34:07his shoes

00:34:07on

00:34:07I'm

00:34:08gonna

00:34:08change

00:34:08his

00:34:08name

00:34:09to

00:34:09Mohammed

00:34:09Kubis

00:34:10or

00:34:10something

00:34:10get him

00:34:12a

00:34:12two-tone

00:34:13kurta

00:34:14feldskoen

00:34:16fez

00:34:16I don't

00:34:17know

00:34:17if they

00:34:17have

00:34:17that

00:34:17feldskoen

00:34:19hooves

00:34:19right

00:34:23and then

00:34:23the third

00:34:24one

00:34:24right

00:34:24he's

00:34:25always

00:34:25got

00:34:25his

00:34:25shoes

00:34:26on

00:34:26top

00:34:26on

00:34:27but

00:34:27no

00:34:27pants

00:34:27he's

00:34:29one

00:34:29of

00:34:29those

00:34:29ladies

00:34:29you

00:34:29know

00:34:30just

00:34:30like

00:34:30wearing the

00:34:36Batman top

00:34:36Batman muscle

00:34:37top

00:34:37boots

00:34:38mask

00:34:39but just

00:34:39yo

00:34:40tired

00:34:41tired

00:34:42tired

00:34:42I'm Batman

00:34:44who's that

00:34:46Robin over

00:34:47there

00:34:47bro

00:34:47is that

00:34:48Robin

00:34:48and I

00:34:52can't

00:34:52I can't

00:34:52manage him

00:34:53as well

00:34:53as my

00:34:54wife

00:34:54I just

00:34:55can't

00:34:55you know

00:34:55I try

00:34:56I don't

00:34:56beat my

00:34:56kids

00:34:56so I

00:34:57negotiate

00:34:57with

00:34:57them

00:34:58fearlessly

00:34:59right

00:34:59but my

00:35:00wife doesn't

00:35:01even have

00:35:01to negotiate

00:35:02talk

00:35:02nothing

00:35:02she just

00:35:03has to

00:35:03adjust

00:35:04the size

00:35:05of her

00:35:05eyeballs

00:35:06I don't

00:35:07know how

00:35:07ladies do

00:35:08this

00:35:08she has

00:35:08to

00:35:08increase

00:35:09the

00:35:09diameter

00:35:10of

00:35:10orbicularis

00:35:11oculi

00:35:12muscles

00:35:13the circumference

00:35:14of the

00:35:15orbital cavity

00:35:16and they

00:35:17jump

00:35:18like me

00:35:19I'm

00:35:19negotiating

00:35:20brother

00:35:20I came

00:35:21here 10

00:35:21minutes ago

00:35:22and I told

00:35:22you

00:35:22mom wants

00:35:23to go

00:35:23shop

00:35:23right

00:35:24I said

00:35:24I'm

00:35:25gonna come

00:35:25back

00:35:25in 10

00:35:25minutes

00:35:26I want

00:35:26your shoes

00:35:26on

00:35:26so 10

00:35:27minutes

00:35:27later

00:35:27your shoes

00:35:28are still

00:35:29not

00:35:29on

00:35:29bro

00:35:29ok

00:35:31ok

00:35:31miskien

00:35:32verstaan

00:35:32jy nie

00:35:32Mohammed

00:35:33Kobus

00:35:34sit

00:35:36your

00:35:36false

00:35:36koene

00:35:36aard

00:35:37asseblief

00:35:38my

00:35:38maikie

00:35:39your

00:35:40mommy

00:35:40wil

00:35:40winkel

00:35:41to

00:35:41gaan

00:35:42tupo

00:35:44and he's

00:35:49like

00:35:50I'm

00:35:50gonna

00:35:50do

00:35:51it

00:35:51now

00:35:51I

00:35:51just

00:35:51want

00:35:51to

00:35:51play

00:35:51two

00:35:51more

00:35:51hours

00:35:52of

00:35:52fortnight

00:35:52weekly

00:35:52my wife

00:35:55doesn't

00:35:55play

00:35:55that

00:35:55she

00:35:55just

00:35:55comes

00:35:56in

00:35:56like

00:35:56this

00:35:56and

00:35:58he's

00:35:58like

00:35:58it's

00:35:59like

00:36:00he

00:36:00grows

00:36:00the

00:36:00shoes

00:36:01on

00:36:01mom

00:36:03I

00:36:03did

00:36:03all

00:36:03my

00:36:03chores

00:36:04I

00:36:04did

00:36:04my

00:36:05salah

00:36:05I

00:36:05did

00:36:05my

00:36:06Quran

00:36:06I

00:36:06did

00:36:07my

00:36:07homework

00:36:07mom

00:36:08that's

00:36:08a good

00:36:08choice

00:36:09in

00:36:09green

00:36:09dress

00:36:10mom

00:36:10it's

00:36:10beautiful

00:36:11mom

00:36:11can

00:36:12I

00:36:12carry

00:36:12your

00:36:12hand

00:36:12back

00:36:13to

00:36:13the

00:36:13car

00:36:13dad

00:36:14get

00:36:14in

00:36:14the

00:36:14car

00:36:15you

00:36:15always

00:36:15take

00:36:15so

00:36:15long

00:36:16dad

00:36:16take

00:36:20I

00:36:21tried

00:36:21that

00:36:21thing

00:36:21with

00:36:22my

00:36:22eyes

00:36:22once

00:36:22dude

00:36:23I

00:36:23was like

00:36:23Samir

00:36:24Samir

00:36:25Samir

00:36:26Samir

00:36:28Samir

00:36:28he's like

00:36:32mom

00:36:32I think

00:36:33dad's

00:36:33having

00:36:33a stroke

00:36:34or

00:36:34something

00:36:35not

00:36:42not

00:36:42not as

00:36:42effective

00:36:43as

00:36:43they

00:36:43are

00:36:44you

00:36:44know

00:36:45not

00:36:45as

00:36:45effective

00:36:45as

00:36:46my

00:36:47wife

00:36:47and

00:36:47I

00:36:48don't

00:36:48beat

00:36:48my

00:36:48kids

00:36:48because

00:36:49I

00:36:49don't

00:36:49believe

00:36:49it's

00:36:50effective

00:36:50I

00:36:50don't

00:36:50beat

00:36:50my

00:36:51kids

00:36:51I

00:36:51don't

00:36:51believe

00:36:51in

00:36:51beating

00:36:52anyone

00:36:52I

00:36:53got

00:36:53that

00:36:53philosophy

00:36:53from

00:36:54Will

00:36:54Smith

00:36:54bro

00:36:55right

00:37:00and I

00:37:01don't

00:37:01beat

00:37:01my

00:37:01kids

00:37:02because

00:37:02I

00:37:02don't

00:37:02think

00:37:02it's

00:37:02effective

00:37:03bro

00:37:03I'm

00:37:04thinking

00:37:04more

00:37:04like

00:37:05a

00:37:05taser

00:37:05don't

00:37:10act

00:37:10like

00:37:10you

00:37:10never

00:37:10ever

00:37:11thought

00:37:11of

00:37:11that

00:37:11before

00:37:12guys

00:37:13it's

00:37:14time

00:37:14for

00:37:14bed

00:37:14I

00:37:14not

00:37:15tired

00:37:15okay

00:37:23okay

00:37:23here's

00:37:23an

00:37:24olive

00:37:24branch

00:37:24right

00:37:25not

00:37:25a

00:37:26taser

00:37:26tranquilizer

00:37:27dot

00:37:27as

00:37:28a

00:37:28peace

00:37:28offering

00:37:29and

00:37:29I

00:37:29support

00:37:30my

00:37:30statement

00:37:30because

00:37:31I'll

00:37:31tell you

00:37:32why

00:37:32because

00:37:32sleep

00:37:33is

00:37:33good

00:37:33for

00:37:33children

00:37:33right

00:37:35so

00:37:35this

00:37:36is

00:37:36the way

00:37:36you

00:37:36can

00:37:36discipline

00:37:37them

00:37:37cause

00:37:37them

00:37:37to

00:37:37sleep

00:37:38because

00:37:38sleep

00:37:38increases

00:37:39growth

00:37:39hormone

00:37:39secretion

00:37:40which

00:37:40causes

00:37:41like

00:37:41frontal

00:37:42lobe

00:37:42development

00:37:43which

00:37:43potentiates

00:37:44executive

00:37:44planning

00:37:45development

00:37:45so

00:37:46this

00:37:46is

00:37:46the

00:37:46way

00:37:46in

00:37:47which

00:37:47you

00:37:47can

00:37:47actually

00:37:48discipline

00:37:48the

00:37:48child

00:37:49and

00:37:49improve

00:37:50their

00:37:50overall

00:37:55some

00:37:57of you

00:37:57clapping

00:37:58some

00:37:58people

00:37:58whatsapping

00:37:59child

00:37:59services

00:38:00good

00:38:00bro

00:38:00you

00:38:03just

00:38:03getting

00:38:03his

00:38:04children

00:38:04tranquilizer

00:38:05dots

00:38:05bro

00:38:06I

00:38:07just

00:38:08want

00:38:08to do

00:38:08it

00:38:08I

00:38:08dream

00:38:08of it

00:38:09sometimes

00:38:09you

00:38:09know

00:38:10with my

00:38:10daughter

00:38:10love her

00:38:11to bits

00:38:11she's

00:38:12my

00:38:12baby

00:38:13bro

00:38:13but she

00:38:14doesn't

00:38:14stop

00:38:15teenage

00:38:15girls

00:38:15they

00:38:16don't

00:38:16stop

00:38:16continue

00:38:18bro

00:38:18brilliant

00:38:19never

00:38:20stop

00:38:21dad

00:38:22can I have

00:38:22a cell phone

00:38:22please

00:38:23dad

00:38:23please

00:38:24can I have

00:38:24a Huawei

00:38:24phone

00:38:25the

00:38:25bts

00:38:25phone

00:38:26please

00:38:26dad

00:38:26please

00:38:27please

00:38:27why am I

00:38:28saying so

00:38:28many

00:38:28please

00:38:28because you

00:38:29asked me

00:38:29to ask

00:38:29nicely

00:38:30and I'm

00:38:30saying

00:38:30nicely

00:38:30please

00:38:31please

00:38:32please

00:38:32dad

00:38:33please

00:38:33I love

00:38:33you dad

00:38:34please

00:38:35dad

00:38:36please

00:38:36can I have

00:38:36a cell phone

00:38:37please

00:38:37dad

00:38:38please

00:38:38I'll do

00:38:38anything

00:38:39dad

00:38:39please

00:38:40please

00:38:40I know

00:38:40can't do

00:38:41it

00:38:41now

00:38:41why

00:38:42why

00:38:43why

00:38:44dad

00:38:45please

00:38:45why

00:38:46why

00:38:48why

00:38:49why

00:38:50why

00:38:52why

00:38:53because

00:38:54first of all

00:38:56your school

00:38:56doesn't allow it

00:38:57also

00:38:57like money

00:38:58doesn't grow

00:38:58on trees

00:38:59but money

00:39:00is made out of paper

00:39:02where does paper come from

00:39:03dad

00:39:14dad

00:39:14don't worry

00:39:15about the cell phone

00:39:16dad

00:39:16I just wanna

00:39:18just wanna lie down here

00:39:20for a minute

00:39:21dad

00:39:22the tiles look so comfortable

00:39:24you never told me

00:39:26the tiles look so comfortable

00:39:28you must give me some tiles

00:39:30for my mattress

00:39:31dad

00:39:31can you give me some tiles

00:39:32I'm just gonna lie down here

00:39:34a little bit

00:39:35dad

00:39:35I love you dad

00:39:38we love our kids when they sleep

00:39:45we got so much love for them

00:39:48babe

00:39:49this is our daughter

00:39:50mashallah

00:39:50Allah blessed us

00:39:52with this perfect creature

00:39:53you know

00:39:54I'll do anything for her

00:39:56I'll die for her

00:39:58dad can have a

00:40:00now look

00:40:08you know

00:40:09getting out of the house

00:40:11you eventually get out of the house

00:40:12and you always

00:40:13forget something

00:40:15always bro

00:40:16you know

00:40:16you're driving

00:40:17it's like

00:40:18I forgot my wallet

00:40:19it's okay

00:40:20I got my purse

00:40:20it's fine

00:40:21I forgot my cell phone

00:40:23it's okay

00:40:23I got mine

00:40:23it's fine

00:40:24we've got the baby

00:40:25it's okay

00:40:26we've got three others

00:40:26because everybody

00:40:32everybody wants to do the right thing

00:40:35that's what I've learned

00:40:37especially because of the pandemic

00:40:38everybody wants to do the right thing

00:40:40but very often

00:40:41we don't know exactly

00:40:43what the right thing to do is

00:40:45and the only way

00:40:46we can actually find out

00:40:47the right thing

00:40:48is to do the wrong thing

00:40:50first

00:40:50that's the nature of life

00:40:53like in humans

00:40:55we have

00:40:55guidance systems

00:40:57voices in our head

00:40:58that conflict

00:40:59right

00:41:00now from a spiritual perspective

00:41:02for example

00:41:03you have your animal self

00:41:05we call it your nafs

00:41:06which is a voice in your head

00:41:08like trump

00:41:09right

00:41:10like if there's a burger over there

00:41:12this voice will go

00:41:13just eat the burger folks

00:41:15you know you want the burger

00:41:16it's a fantastic burger

00:41:18the burger is a great friend of mine

00:41:20it's your burger

00:41:21you gotta build a wall

00:41:22around the burger

00:41:23it's a fantastic burger

00:41:26you know you want it

00:41:27thank you

00:41:28thank you

00:41:29right

00:41:31and there's another voice in your head

00:41:33right

00:41:34your rationality

00:41:35or your uncle

00:41:36your rational mind

00:41:37which is a voice like Obama

00:41:39which will say

00:41:40well

00:41:41studies have shown

00:41:43foods rich and trans fats

00:41:46saturated fats

00:41:48could increase the risk of

00:41:49cardiovascular disease

00:41:51shut the hell up Obama

00:41:54shut up

00:41:56just grab the burger

00:41:57buy the buns

00:41:58you know you want the burger

00:41:59just have the burger

00:42:01and there's another voice

00:42:03right

00:42:03your kalb

00:42:04or your heart

00:42:04which will be a voice like

00:42:06Madiba

00:42:06take the beggar

00:42:09but then

00:42:11give the beggar

00:42:12to someone

00:42:14less fortunate

00:42:15give the beggar

00:42:18to a beggar

00:42:19you know

00:42:28and we've all got

00:42:29all these voices

00:42:31in our heads

00:42:31that are trying

00:42:32to like

00:42:33give us guidance

00:42:35right

00:42:35everybody wants to do

00:42:36the right thing

00:42:37like during the pandemic

00:42:38which voice did you listen to

00:42:40like especially

00:42:41with the mask debate

00:42:42I used to get irritated

00:42:43with people

00:42:44not wearing the mask

00:42:45properly during the pandemic

00:42:46with the mask

00:42:48with the nose sticking out

00:42:49pow

00:42:49for me that's like

00:42:54putting on an underpants

00:42:55and then there's something like

00:42:57and remember early on

00:43:06the pandemic

00:43:07some of the youngsters

00:43:08used to wear the mask

00:43:09like a fashion statement

00:43:10just hanging

00:43:11like over the ear

00:43:12like this

00:43:12remember that

00:43:13the mask

00:43:13even for the mask

00:43:20naysayers

00:43:21right

00:43:22the mask

00:43:22didn't stop everything

00:43:23it was just supposed

00:43:24to decrease

00:43:25the viral load

00:43:26in the immediate area

00:43:28like if you're operating

00:43:29you've got the mask

00:43:30so you don't

00:43:30so it's supposed

00:43:33not supposed

00:43:34to stop everything

00:43:35but what does

00:43:36this do

00:43:37when you put on a condom

00:43:40do you hang it

00:43:41from your left nut

00:43:42I keep on making

00:43:51all these girls pregnant

00:43:52I don't understand

00:43:53why

00:43:53condoms don't work

00:43:58they don't work

00:43:58at the end of the day

00:44:03it was about

00:44:04negotiating risk

00:44:05everybody negotiates

00:44:07risk

00:44:07differently

00:44:08and it was about choice

00:44:09you know

00:44:10like even Trump

00:44:11was like

00:44:11folks

00:44:12I choose

00:44:13not to wear the mask

00:44:14I choose

00:44:14not to wear the mask

00:44:15I choose

00:44:16not to wear the mask

00:44:17it's the China virus

00:44:19the China virus

00:44:20because some people

00:44:21think the virus

00:44:22is a biological weapon

00:44:23made in China

00:44:24right

00:44:25I doubt it was

00:44:26a bioweapon

00:44:26made in China

00:44:27bro

00:44:27I mean think about it

00:44:29since when have you

00:44:30ever heard

00:44:31of a Chinese product

00:44:33that has lasted

00:44:35this long

00:44:36manufacture a lot of things

00:44:43there

00:44:43durability

00:44:44not the strong point

00:44:45bro

00:44:46but the people

00:44:47are like

00:44:47no

00:44:47I did my research

00:44:49did my research

00:44:50yeah

00:44:50you know

00:44:51bioweapon

00:44:51developed by

00:44:52evil genius

00:44:52Bill Gates

00:44:53bioweapon

00:44:54I doubt

00:44:55it's not a bioweapon

00:44:56I doubt it's a bioweapon

00:44:57bro

00:44:57it was a very dangerous

00:44:59natural virus

00:45:00but as a bioweapon

00:45:01COVID would have been

00:45:02crap

00:45:03because COVID

00:45:04mainly affected

00:45:05the elderly

00:45:06and those with

00:45:07comorbidities

00:45:08why would you spend

00:45:09trillions

00:45:10and bajillions

00:45:11of dollars

00:45:12to develop

00:45:13a bioweapon

00:45:14to end people

00:45:15who are already

00:45:17at the end

00:45:21bro

00:45:21there are cheaper

00:45:23ways to end

00:45:24a 96 year old

00:45:25bro

00:45:26just stand behind them

00:45:28and go

00:45:28what

00:45:28save your bajillion

00:45:36like why would

00:45:39you spend

00:45:39trillions

00:45:40to develop

00:45:40a bioweapon

00:45:41to end

00:45:42the most vulnerable

00:45:43like what kind

00:45:44of low self-esteem

00:45:46evil genius

00:45:47is this

00:45:47like Thanos

00:45:48Thanos

00:45:49that bro

00:45:49he's like

00:45:50with a snap of my fingers

00:45:52half of life

00:45:53in the universe

00:45:53will perish

00:45:54people call me

00:45:55a madman

00:45:56I call it

00:45:57mercy

00:45:57what's our

00:45:59COVID evil genius

00:46:00no you see

00:46:01I'm gonna start

00:46:02with the pensioners

00:46:03you know

00:46:03just

00:46:03rock my way

00:46:06up slowly

00:46:07you know

00:46:07I don't want

00:46:08a bite of more

00:46:08than I can chew

00:46:10you know

00:46:10gotta have baby steps

00:46:12you know

00:46:13but it's about

00:46:16choice

00:46:16you know

00:46:17and you can't

00:46:17change people's

00:46:18minds

00:46:18bro

00:46:19you know

00:46:19like

00:46:19there's one side

00:46:20of the family

00:46:21saying one thing

00:46:21the other side

00:46:22saying another thing

00:46:23right

00:46:24like because

00:46:25I come from

00:46:25a family of doctors

00:46:26we were just

00:46:27following protocols

00:46:28because we used

00:46:29to it

00:46:29right

00:46:29but like

00:46:30at my house

00:46:31it's like

00:46:31visiting a hospital

00:46:32dude

00:46:33you know

00:46:34come there

00:46:34it's like

00:46:34can you fill in

00:46:36your medical aid

00:46:37details over here

00:46:38please

00:46:38we used to wear

00:46:40like masks

00:46:41on zoom meetings

00:46:42bro

00:46:42you never know

00:46:43bro

00:46:44you never know

00:46:44the computer virus

00:46:45and the coronavirus

00:46:46you never know

00:46:47bro

00:46:47and then the other

00:46:49side of the family

00:46:49where those family

00:46:50would go

00:46:51now why you wear

00:46:51that mask

00:46:52why you wear

00:46:52that mask

00:46:53you got no

00:46:54iman

00:46:54got no faith

00:46:56in Allah

00:46:57if you wear the mask

00:46:59you got no faith

00:47:00in God

00:47:00if you wear the mask

00:47:01got no faith

00:47:02and I'm like

00:47:03you know

00:47:04I'm not

00:47:04if I wear the mask

00:47:05doesn't mean

00:47:06I got no faith

00:47:07I'm just

00:47:07I'm just being

00:47:08practical

00:47:08bro

00:47:09like I mean

00:47:10it was raining

00:47:10outside

00:47:11and you don't

00:47:12want to get wet

00:47:12you either stay

00:47:13inside the house

00:47:14or you take

00:47:15umbrella

00:47:15right

00:47:15you don't leave

00:47:17the umbrella

00:47:17inside the house

00:47:18walk outside

00:47:19yeah Allah

00:47:19keep me dry

00:47:20if you wear umbrella

00:47:25you got no iman

00:47:26you know

00:47:34that's the thing

00:47:35but people will believe

00:47:36you couldn't change

00:47:37people's minds

00:47:38like the auntie

00:47:39was arguing me

00:47:40about this whole thing

00:47:41she was wearing

00:47:42parda

00:47:43yeah

00:47:45she was like

00:47:46I don't believe in the mask

00:47:47wear mask

00:47:49not iman

00:47:49and some people

00:47:51may think

00:47:52it doesn't make sense

00:47:52but it makes perfect sense

00:47:54because you see

00:47:54she's covering her face

00:47:55not to protect herself

00:47:57from coronavirus

00:47:58she's covering her face

00:48:00to protect herself

00:48:01from the eyes

00:48:02of men

00:48:03she's protecting herself

00:48:05from something

00:48:05much worse

00:48:06she's not worried

00:48:09about coronavirus

00:48:09she's worried

00:48:10about testosterone

00:48:11virus

00:48:12Muslim women

00:48:15have been treating

00:48:16men like

00:48:17viruses

00:48:17for centuries

00:48:19bruh

00:48:19ahead of the game

00:48:21you know

00:48:21face covering

00:48:22social distancing

00:48:23I'm like

00:48:24why stop there

00:48:25bruh

00:48:26spray the brow

00:48:26with sanitizer

00:48:27also

00:48:27like

00:48:28alcohol

00:48:30no

00:48:30I actually thought

00:48:34Cyril wanted to

00:48:35turn everybody

00:48:35Muslim

00:48:36at the beginning

00:48:36of the pandemic

00:48:37because first

00:48:38he came out

00:48:39with a face covering

00:48:40the next week

00:48:41alcohol

00:48:42brand

00:48:43bruh

00:48:43I thought

00:48:44people must watch

00:48:45out next time

00:48:46it comes on TV

00:48:47people must watch

00:48:47out for their foreskin

00:48:48bruh

00:48:48I was worried

00:48:49you know

00:48:57there was so much

00:48:58misinformation

00:48:58right

00:49:00inaccurate information

00:49:01made us poop

00:49:02ourselves

00:49:03just hectic

00:49:04bruh

00:49:05like I just remember

00:49:06early on the pandemic

00:49:07halfway through the first year

00:49:09right

00:49:09I got this

00:49:10whatsapp message

00:49:11misinformation

00:49:11that said

00:49:12your foreskin

00:49:13protects you

00:49:14from COVID

00:49:15did anybody get that

00:49:20no

00:49:21bruh

00:49:22I got that thing

00:49:23and as a doctor

00:49:24I thought

00:49:24doesn't it make sense

00:49:25right

00:49:26but still

00:49:27you remember

00:49:27the first part

00:49:29of the pandemic

00:49:29we were pooping

00:49:30ourselves

00:49:30for everything

00:49:31I did my research

00:49:32there was no truth

00:49:33to it

00:49:34I thought

00:49:34maybe they conflated

00:49:35the HIV thing

00:49:36or the COVID thing

00:49:37but there is no truth

00:49:38to it

00:49:38but still

00:49:39I was anxious

00:49:40that your foreskin

00:49:41protects you

00:49:41from COVID

00:49:42why

00:49:42because I'm Muslim

00:49:43and I can't

00:49:45like grow it back

00:49:46bruh

00:49:47and there's no substitute

00:49:50for people like me

00:49:51so I was all anxious

00:49:53I didn't know

00:49:53what to do

00:49:54like I was driving

00:49:55I drove past

00:49:55ocean basket

00:49:56right

00:49:56and I saw this advert

00:49:58for calamari tubes

00:49:59I was like

00:49:59and I'm not saying

00:50:10I'll put one on

00:50:11like a beanie

00:50:11I'm not saying one

00:50:12but what I am saying

00:50:18is that anxiety

00:50:19makes you do stupid stuff

00:50:21that's where

00:50:22religion comes in

00:50:23you know

00:50:23to guide you

00:50:25all these different

00:50:27voices in your head

00:50:28religion is supposed

00:50:29to assimilate

00:50:30all those voices

00:50:31and guide you

00:50:32on a certain

00:50:33straight path

00:50:33and my wife's

00:50:34a little bit more

00:50:35religious than I am

00:50:36right

00:50:37so she doesn't like

00:50:37me to watch

00:50:38so much TV

00:50:39but I like

00:50:40don't watch TV

00:50:41for entertainment

00:50:42purposes

00:50:43I watch it

00:50:45for research

00:50:46to get information

00:50:47to change that

00:50:49into interesting

00:50:50and latest scenarios

00:50:51to entertain

00:50:53audiences

00:50:54I don't do it

00:50:55for me

00:50:56I do it

00:50:57for you

00:50:57I'm like

00:51:00a humanitarian

00:51:00like Gandhi

00:51:02or Imtia

00:51:03Suleiman

00:51:04that's me

00:51:04but she doesn't

00:51:08like me to watch

00:51:08so much TV

00:51:09and she's tired

00:51:10of telling me

00:51:10over and over

00:51:12not to watch TV

00:51:13so instead of

00:51:13telling me

00:51:14these days

00:51:15instead

00:51:15she plays

00:51:16lectures of

00:51:17Mufti Menk

00:51:18really loud

00:51:19you guys know

00:51:21Mufti Menk

00:51:21for those of you

00:51:23who don't know

00:51:23he's a well-known

00:51:24preacher

00:51:24in the Muslim

00:51:25community

00:51:26and like

00:51:26I'll just be

00:51:27watching TV

00:51:28something family

00:51:28friendly

00:51:29like Squid Game

00:51:30you know

00:51:31Game of Thrones

00:51:33and all of a sudden

00:51:34oh yeah

00:51:35we need to be wary

00:51:38of the scourge

00:51:40of television

00:51:41in the modern world

00:51:42Allah save us

00:51:44and protect us

00:51:44okay babe

00:51:51I'll turn the TV

00:51:52off

00:51:53because Mufti Menk

00:51:55is a normal guy

00:51:56he's got his own

00:51:56family

00:51:57I always wondered

00:51:58like does he ever

00:51:59get upset

00:51:59in his own house

00:52:00you know

00:52:01open up the cupboard

00:52:02who took my

00:52:04chipnicks

00:52:05who took my

00:52:07chipnicks

00:52:07I was feeling

00:52:09for a delicious

00:52:09bowl of chipnicks

00:52:10but then I saw

00:52:12it was almost

00:52:13asar

00:52:13and I went

00:52:14to make asar

00:52:14and when I returned

00:52:15alas

00:52:16my chipnicks

00:52:18was no longer here

00:52:19and now I'm forced

00:52:22to have a bowl

00:52:22of Doritos

00:52:23Allah save us

00:52:25and protect us

00:52:26I was actually

00:52:31thinking

00:52:31of making

00:52:32my own

00:52:32Mufti Menk

00:52:33CD

00:52:34or memory stick

00:52:35secretly

00:52:36you know

00:52:37and sneaking it

00:52:39in with my

00:52:39wife's stash

00:52:40you know

00:52:40I've never

00:52:41listened to

00:52:42this lecture

00:52:42before

00:52:43it is imperative

00:52:47that you

00:52:49massage

00:52:49your husband's

00:52:50feet

00:52:50and rub

00:52:54his aching

00:52:55muscles

00:52:55and don't

00:52:57make him go

00:52:57shopping with

00:52:58you

00:52:58these

00:52:59materialistic

00:53:00exploits

00:53:01distract us

00:53:01from what is

00:53:02important

00:53:02Allah save us

00:53:04to protect us

00:53:05Allah save us

00:53:05to protect us

00:53:05you want to do

00:53:12the right thing

00:53:12bro

00:53:13but I damage

00:53:14my kids

00:53:14and you want to do

00:53:15the right thing

00:53:16for your kids

00:53:17but I scared

00:53:18I'm damaging my kids

00:53:19because I told you

00:53:20I do voices for them

00:53:21all the time

00:53:21do Arnold Schwarzenegger

00:53:22for them all the time

00:53:23and I heard my son

00:53:25crying the other day

00:53:26and I thought

00:53:27I heard

00:53:27Arnold Schwarzenegger

00:53:28come out

00:53:29while he was

00:53:30crying

00:53:31you think I'm

00:53:32damaging the light

00:53:33this

00:53:33you know

00:53:34I'm just

00:53:34hearing

00:53:34going to the room

00:53:52like my son

00:53:53what's wrong

00:53:53I can't see the TV

00:53:55Samir

00:53:56get down

00:53:58get down

00:54:02I damaged them

00:54:09bro

00:54:09like

00:54:10there's a scene

00:54:11from Rocky 5

00:54:12where Rocky has an argument

00:54:14with his adult son

00:54:15and I used to do

00:54:16that whole scene

00:54:17a very motivational scene

00:54:18not for my adult son

00:54:20but for my four-year-old

00:54:22I think I was

00:54:23messing him up

00:54:23because he's just

00:54:25minding his own business

00:54:26playing Lego

00:54:26and I'll burst into the room

00:54:28do the whole speech

00:54:29like Rocky

00:54:29you ain't gonna believe this

00:54:36but you're just

00:54:39a fit right here

00:54:40I used to hold you up

00:54:42say to your mother

00:54:43this kid is gonna be

00:54:46the best kid in the world

00:54:47this kid is gonna be

00:54:50better than anybody

00:54:50ever knew

00:54:51and you grew up

00:54:53good and wonderful

00:54:54everyday watching

00:54:56was like a privilege

00:54:57but somewhere

00:54:59along the line

00:55:00things change

00:55:03you stop being you

00:55:05you stop letting people

00:55:07stick a finger in your face

00:55:08and tell you're no good

00:55:09when things got hard

00:55:11you stop looking for

00:55:13someone to blame

00:55:13like a big shadow

00:55:15then I kneel down

00:55:17stay in his eyes

00:55:18let me tell you something

00:55:20you're waiting for

00:55:21the world ain't no sunshine

00:55:23and rainbows

00:55:24it's a very mean

00:55:26and nasty place

00:55:28and I don't care

00:55:29how tough you think

00:55:30you are

00:55:30it will beat you

00:55:32to your knees

00:55:33and keep it up

00:55:33permanently

00:55:34not you

00:55:36not me

00:55:36not anybody

00:55:37can hit as hard

00:55:38as life

00:55:39but it ain't about

00:55:41how hard you can hit

00:55:42it's about how hard

00:55:44you can get hit

00:55:45and keep moving forward

00:55:46how much you can take

00:55:48and keep moving forward

00:55:50that's how a winner is done

00:55:52right

00:55:56right

00:55:58right

00:56:00and in a movie

00:56:01Rocky's son was inspired

00:56:03to change

00:56:04right

00:56:04my son pooped himself

00:56:06he was like

00:56:07eeeeh

00:56:08eeeeh

00:56:09eeeeh

00:56:10eeeeh

00:56:11eeeeh

00:56:13eeeeh

00:56:14eeeeh

00:56:15eeeeh

00:56:16the baby came in

00:56:17damage them

00:56:22everybody wants to do the right thing

00:56:26but what voice do you listen to

00:56:27this is the thing

00:56:28what voice do you listen to

00:56:30which voice was I listening to

00:56:32when I decided

00:56:33to give up medicine

00:56:34and do comedy

00:56:36right

00:56:37was it my animal self

00:56:39my nafs

00:56:40I'd like to think

00:56:41it was my

00:56:42my heart

00:56:43it was definitely

00:56:45not my

00:56:46rational mind

00:56:47people ask me

00:56:48why I gave up

00:56:49medicine

00:56:49to do comedy

00:56:50I had a hectic experience

00:56:52as a young doctor

00:56:53I did my internship

00:56:55at a place called

00:56:55Natal Spread Hospital

00:56:57it was voted

00:56:58the worst hospital

00:56:59of all time

00:57:00in South Africa

00:57:01yeah

00:57:02things kind of went down

00:57:03after I left

00:57:04you know what I'm saying

00:57:05it's one of those

00:57:08weird hospitals

00:57:09dude

00:57:09where the security guards

00:57:11used to check

00:57:12our car boots

00:57:13they used to check

00:57:14the doctor's car boots

00:57:15before we used to

00:57:17leave the hospital

00:57:17like we're gonna steal

00:57:19something

00:57:20and there was no

00:57:21blood equipment

00:57:22in the hospital

00:57:23I'm like

00:57:24bruh

00:57:24what do you think

00:57:25I'm gonna steal

00:57:25TB patients

00:57:26that's all that's here

00:57:28open up the boot

00:57:29there's no

00:57:29this is not a good doctor

00:57:35this guy's no good

00:57:36he said this was

00:57:38a CT scan

00:57:39and he said it was

00:57:39I experienced

00:57:43hectic things

00:57:44as a young doctor

00:57:45in the ER

00:57:45people used to put

00:57:47inanimate objects

00:57:48where the sun

00:57:49don't shine

00:57:49exceedingly frequently

00:57:51boss

00:57:52and I saw horrible things

00:57:53two weeks in

00:57:54coming from Cape Town

00:57:55dude came in

00:57:56with a golden

00:57:57delicious apple

00:57:58he said it was a bath

00:58:01and he tripped

00:58:02golden delicious apple

00:58:05I only have

00:58:06Granny Smith apples

00:58:07in my house now

00:58:08we tried to remove

00:58:12the apple

00:58:12it was neither golden

00:58:14nor delicious

00:58:14bruh

00:58:15then it happened

00:58:18again

00:58:18couple of weeks later

00:58:20this time

00:58:20with the aerosol can

00:58:22bruh

00:58:22a aerosol can

00:58:24I remembered

00:58:24clearly

00:58:25it was a Mr. Min

00:58:26aerosol can

00:58:28bruh

00:58:28it was the same bruh

00:58:30the same bruh

00:58:31sitting with the bath

00:58:32and he tripped

00:58:32Mr. Min aerosol can

00:58:36and then

00:58:37we tried to remove

00:58:37the can

00:58:38and the cap

00:58:40stayed up there

00:58:40we had to take

00:58:43the poor guy

00:58:43to theater

00:58:44to remove

00:58:44a Mr. Min

00:58:45aerosol can

00:58:46cap

00:58:46and I'm telling you

00:58:48I saw the Mr. Min

00:58:49can afterwards

00:58:50Mr. Min

00:58:51didn't look the same bruh

00:58:52he looked traumatized

00:58:56he was a shadow

00:58:56of his former self

00:58:58you know

00:58:58Mr. Min

00:58:59is usually

00:58:59a jovial character

00:59:00this guy

00:59:02could make

00:59:02eye contact

00:59:03he was like

00:59:04and then it happened

00:59:10one more time

00:59:11this time

00:59:12with a light bulb

00:59:12dude

00:59:13a light bulb

00:59:14you all

00:59:15same bruh

00:59:16same bruh

00:59:16same with a bath

00:59:17and he tripped

00:59:18light bulb

00:59:20right

00:59:20but we only realized

00:59:22it was a light bulb

00:59:22when we put up

00:59:23the x-ray

00:59:23dude

00:59:24and that was a weird

00:59:25moment of cognitive

00:59:26dissonance

00:59:27because you're not

00:59:28expecting to see

00:59:29a light bulb

00:59:30in that position

00:59:31it's confusing

00:59:32to the brain

00:59:33it was weird bruh

00:59:35I can tell you

00:59:35we put up the x-ray

00:59:36and honestly

00:59:37it looked like

00:59:38a good idea

00:59:38and a bad idea

00:59:39at the same time

00:59:46and then it happened

00:59:49one more time

00:59:50when we moved

00:59:50to Cape Town

00:59:51with the apple

00:59:52again bruh

00:59:52but this time

00:59:53experience

00:59:54expertise

00:59:55improved

00:59:56we removed the apple

00:59:57apple was completely

00:59:58fine

00:59:58pristine

00:59:59the cloud was still

01:00:03functioning

01:00:03okay that wasn't

01:00:11true

01:00:11that was a lie

01:00:11it was a lie

01:00:12but the other stuff

01:00:14was true

01:00:14dude

01:00:15now health

01:00:18is the most

01:00:18important thing

01:00:19people

01:00:19you know

01:00:20just before the pandemic

01:00:21I had a back operation

01:00:22I had to have

01:00:23what they call

01:00:24a laminectomy

01:00:26and a discectomy

01:00:27why

01:00:27because I had

01:00:28a sequestration

01:00:29of a prolapsed

01:00:30R5 S1

01:00:31intervertebral disc

01:00:32right

01:00:33you know what that means

01:00:34basically it means

01:00:35like a piece

01:00:36of the slip disc

01:00:38broke off

01:00:38I was pressing

01:00:39the nerve

01:00:40in my leg

01:00:40you know

01:00:43and then I had to have

01:00:44what they call

01:00:45a laminectomy

01:00:46and a discectomy

01:00:47like

01:00:47how

01:00:49do you think

01:00:50I got this injury

01:00:51you may ask

01:00:52as a middle age man

01:00:53like was I squatting

01:00:54200 kilograms

01:00:55no

01:00:57was I playing rugby

01:00:58with a whole lot of

01:00:59breasts with no necks

01:01:00no

01:01:01you know

01:01:03I got it

01:01:03I was flossing

01:01:04I was bloody flossing

01:01:05bro

01:01:06and not the

01:01:07auto hygiene

01:01:08flossing

01:01:09the tiktok dance

01:01:10the bloody

01:01:11tiktok dance

01:01:12play my teenage daughter

01:01:15she's like

01:01:17dad you can't dance

01:01:18I'm like

01:01:18oh yeah

01:01:18next thing I know

01:01:23I'm having

01:01:23MRI scan

01:01:24bro

01:01:24I had to have

01:01:26this operation

01:01:27then I thought

01:01:28my kids did this

01:01:29to me

01:01:29I'm going to have

01:01:29a laminectomy

01:01:30discectomy

01:01:31and I'm going to have

01:01:32a vasectomy

01:01:33and I want to have

01:01:35the operations

01:01:36at the same time

01:01:37because then I don't

01:01:38have to do two

01:01:38general anesthetics

01:01:39I can just do one

01:01:40I can kill two

01:01:41balls with one stone

01:01:42I don't even have

01:01:43that

01:01:43that's the term

01:01:46but the problem

01:01:48with that is

01:01:48it's a logistical

01:01:49problem

01:01:50to do the two

01:01:50operations

01:01:51at the same time

01:01:52because the back

01:01:52operation

01:01:53obviously have to

01:01:54lie what they call

01:01:55prone

01:01:56like this

01:01:57so they can

01:01:57operate

01:01:58on your back

01:01:59right

01:02:00but the vasectomy

01:02:01is probably

01:02:02the other side

01:02:05right

01:02:06so unless my

01:02:07urologist was

01:02:08prepared to do me

01:02:09like a mechanic

01:02:10this is not to scale

01:02:29it's not to scale

01:02:30people

01:02:30this is to scale

01:02:35so I had to have

01:02:45the operation

01:02:45I actually drove

01:02:46myself to my own

01:02:47vasectomy

01:02:48right

01:02:49you know I complain

01:02:49about wall parking

01:02:50hospital parking

01:02:51is even worse

01:02:52bruh

01:02:52worse

01:02:53you know

01:02:54like the

01:02:54it's okay

01:02:55for like the doctors

01:02:57it's right there

01:02:57in the front

01:02:58for the doctors

01:02:58pow pow

01:02:59but for patients

01:03:00you're on your own

01:03:01you can have a fork

01:03:02in your eye

01:03:03why they always

01:03:05make us go to

01:03:06the top level

01:03:07bruh

01:03:07right

01:03:10but it makes sense

01:03:10that doctors

01:03:11must have their

01:03:12parking there

01:03:12in the front

01:03:13makes sense

01:03:13you know

01:03:13can't have a person

01:03:14being resuscitated

01:03:15in the ER

01:03:16you know

01:03:17one thousand

01:03:17two thousand

01:03:18we lose the patient

01:03:19where's dr. Stevens

01:03:21dr. Stevens

01:03:22in the parking lot

01:03:23thank you so much

01:03:33guys for coming

01:03:33to the show

01:03:34now look you guys

01:03:42I just want to say

01:03:43before we end this

01:03:45right

01:03:45before the pandemic

01:03:47I don't think

01:03:48I valued my job

01:03:49as much as I should have

01:03:51I always loved

01:03:51stand-up comedy

01:03:52but I don't feel

01:03:53I had enough

01:03:54gratitude

01:03:55for the privilege

01:03:56of performing

01:03:57for you

01:03:58so I just want to say

01:03:59from the bottom

01:04:00of my heart

01:04:01thank you so much

01:04:03I appreciate you guys

01:04:04so so much

01:04:06more than you guys

01:04:07will ever know

01:04:08and I hope you enjoyed

01:04:13yourself

01:04:13you know

01:04:14and you know

01:04:16you get older

01:04:16you want to be a bit

01:04:17more introspective

01:04:18and offer people

01:04:19wise words

01:04:20words of wisdom

01:04:22in addition

01:04:23to the laughter

01:04:24right

01:04:25so I thought about

01:04:26these wise words

01:04:27and

01:04:28I got nothing

01:04:29bruh

01:04:29I got nothing

01:04:30actually I do have something

01:04:36you know

01:04:37and I thought about it

01:04:38a lot

01:04:39there are words

01:04:40that give me comfort

01:04:41that I could maybe

01:04:42share with you

01:04:44and you guys

01:04:44can use it

01:04:45in your time

01:04:46of hardship

01:04:48right

01:04:49these are the words

01:04:50listen very very carefully

01:04:51he beat me

01:04:53pay him

01:04:56pay that man

01:04:57his money

01:04:58thank you so much

01:04:59for coming to the show

01:05:00you guys are awesome

01:05:16you

Category

Transcript

Recommended