- 6 hours ago
In 1969, Fred Lebow was a slow runner in the small outsider community of road runners in Brooklyn. However, they're forced by traffic and locals to move out to ...
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'm running around, dance again about town
00:00:25It's alright, cause I'm feeling good
00:00:27Give me when I turn, there's always something to love
00:00:31Live your life like you know you should
00:00:34I'll just give on moving, baby
00:00:37Run for you, I'm feeling good, you know
00:00:43Cause I'm falling free
00:00:45Oh, thanks very much
00:00:50Oh, thanks, mate
00:00:55Fibre
00:00:57Oh, good on you, mate
00:00:59Lovely
00:01:00You're in a window
00:01:01Right, young man, now you go up wide tall to Trafalgar Square
00:01:12He bloody knows they're booking them cats, eh?
00:01:15Well, I'm only hell on it
00:01:17Oh, thanks
00:01:18Well, I know that, I know that
00:01:20I'm running around, dance again about town
00:01:23It's alright, cause I'm feeling good
00:01:26Everywhere that I turn, there's always something to love
00:01:30Live your life like you know you should
00:01:32Just give on moving, baby
00:01:36Run for you, I'm feeling good, you know
00:01:42Cause I'm running free
00:01:44Life is good, oh baby
00:01:49I can't see
00:01:50I can't just let go
00:01:52Run away, I'll stop this lead
00:01:56Running wild, I'm running free
00:01:59Oh yeah
00:02:01I'm running free
00:02:06Oh yeah
00:02:07Good, this pan, wait
00:02:37Another long night for you, I spent
00:02:39No, I'm actually on my way on
00:02:41Great, I won't have to give you a tip then, will I?
00:02:45You mean old fucker
00:02:47Police, help!
00:03:01Give us your bag, you silly cow
00:03:03Watch your language, you little bastard
00:03:06Get home, please
00:03:11Help, help
00:03:12That's just it
00:03:14Help
00:03:15Help, please
00:03:17Help, help
00:03:19Help
00:03:21Help
00:03:22Hey, hey, hey
00:03:24Piss off
00:03:25Language
00:03:26Fuck, mate
00:03:28Oh, man
00:03:28This opera, I'll kick you in the balls
00:03:32Oh, bollocks
00:03:33Oh
00:03:39Oh
00:03:39Oh
00:03:39Look at that, dented my dog's dinner
00:03:58It's right down by that taxi officer
00:04:03And the two boys ran off down that way
00:04:05And I saw it first
00:04:07Come on
00:04:12Come on
00:04:13Come on
00:04:14Good dog
00:04:15I'll have a piece of that myself
00:04:18Right, mate
00:04:28Come on
00:04:29Strap off
00:04:30Come on, mate
00:04:33Sure
00:04:34Here we go
00:04:37Nice and easy
00:04:39I'll put the kettle on, shall I?
00:04:41Yeah, you too
00:04:41Come on
00:04:43Here we go
00:04:46Watch your sound
00:04:47Come on
00:04:48There we go
00:04:49John!
00:05:13Johnny!
00:05:14John! Where the hell are you?
00:05:25Taxi!
00:05:44He's in the middle of the house.
00:05:54I'm not sure what he's doing.
00:05:58No, I'm not sure what he's doing.
00:06:02I'm not sure what he's doing.
00:06:04I'm not sure what he's doing.
00:06:07Finsbury Police Station.
00:06:20It's Mrs Smith speaking.
00:06:28Stockwell Police Station.
00:06:30It is Mrs Smith speaking.
00:06:31I'm worried about my husband, Mr John Smith.
00:06:34John Smith.
00:06:36He's a taxi driver.
00:06:38He's a taxi driver.
00:06:39He was due back at 12 o'clock last night.
00:06:41And he was due back at half past seven this morning.
00:06:43I'm worried.
00:06:44He might have fallen asleep at the wheel of his taxi.
00:06:48At average, I suppose.
00:06:49Normal, really.
00:06:50Medium build.
00:06:51Medium build.
00:06:52Brown hair.
00:06:53Brown eyes.
00:06:53Sort of cuddly.
00:06:54Sort of cuddly.
00:06:55I'm sure well sorted out, Mrs Smith.
00:06:58Now, could you just give me your address, please?
00:07:03And here's a copy of Mr Smith's hospital report.
00:07:05How long's he going to be?
00:07:06I've been waiting 20 minutes already.
00:07:08Here comes our hero now.
00:07:09You know, I love this place.
00:07:12Mine's bigger than yours, Johnny boy.
00:07:14Good luck, mate.
00:07:16Break your leg, Quendid.
00:07:20Oh, hello.
00:07:22He's on a high dose of tranquilizers.
00:07:25Yeah, I can see that.
00:07:27Mr John Smith?
00:07:28Oh, yes?
00:07:29Detective Sergeant Troughton, Stockwell Police.
00:07:33Morning.
00:07:34Here's Mr Smith's medication.
00:07:37Medication.
00:07:37And here are the keys for Mr Smith's taxi.
00:07:39Oh, thank you very much.
00:07:40No, no.
00:07:41I'll be driving you home and taking a statement.
00:07:44Is he all right to walk?
00:07:45Yes.
00:07:46Yeah, no, I'm...
00:07:47Oh, ho, ho, ho.
00:07:49Come on, you.
00:07:50Home, James.
00:07:51No, it's John.
00:07:51My name's John.
00:07:53Everybody?
00:07:53You're a nice nurse, ain't you?
00:07:57You're a lovely nurse, eh?
00:08:05It's not the cough that carries you off.
00:08:07It's the coffee that carry you off.
00:08:09Who's driving?
00:08:17I am.
00:08:18Listen, I am perfectly okay to drive.
00:08:24No, you're not.
00:08:25Now, 104 Stockwell Place, yeah?
00:08:29Hey, that's my address too.
00:08:32Hey, that's my address too.
00:09:02I won't give you a tip.
00:09:16Johnny!
00:09:19Hello, Susie.
00:09:20What the hell's happened?
00:09:22He's got a slight concussion.
00:09:23Oh, my God.
00:09:25It'll be okay, Mrs Smith.
00:09:26Oh, no, no, no, that's Susie.
00:09:28Save some poor old lady from two muggers.
00:09:30Johnny!
00:09:31You'd better get him to bed straight away.
00:09:33Well, if that's an order, babe.
00:09:35You come down and let us in, please.
00:09:37I think you should ask his wife to do that.
00:09:39She lives next door.
00:09:42Sorry, madam.
00:09:43Er, it's Miss, actually.
00:09:45But I'm open to office, babe.
00:09:48John!
00:09:49Oh, thank God.
00:09:51I'm going to buy you a cake, Johnny boy.
00:09:53Darling, your head.
00:09:55I'm fine.
00:09:57That's my Michelle.
00:09:59Detective Sergeant Troughton, Stockwell Police.
00:10:02I'll be right down.
00:10:04Come on.
00:10:06That's my Michelle.
00:10:08Yeah, you said.
00:10:08And this is Stockwell?
00:10:11Yes.
00:10:11What time is it?
00:10:129.25.
00:10:13Oh, in the morning?
00:10:14Yes.
00:10:15Our schedule.
00:10:16What?
00:10:16I'm well out on my schedule.
00:10:19Oh, my God.
00:10:20It's Thursday morning.
00:10:22Johnny!
00:10:23Oh, my baby.
00:10:24Hello, sweetheart.
00:10:25What on earth's happened?
00:10:29Oh, you poor darling.
00:10:30What a night.
00:10:31I'm late to be momming shift, sweetheart.
00:10:33You are going to bed, sweetheart.
00:10:34Now, listen, darling.
00:10:35No bed.
00:10:37All right, Johnny.
00:10:38What the hell's happened to you, mate?
00:10:40Not now, Gary.
00:10:41Gary Gardner.
00:10:42I've got the flat below them.
00:10:43Are you delivering something?
00:10:45Detective Sergeant Troughton, Stockwell Police.
00:10:48The old bill?
00:10:53Darling.
00:10:53I really should get back on the run.
00:10:55No way.
00:10:56Come on.
00:11:05Right.
00:11:05I'm going to make you a nice cup of coffee.
00:11:07No, I really haven't got time, sweetie.
00:11:09Caffeine.
00:11:10It'll do you good.
00:11:11Would you like a coffee, Sergeant?
00:11:13No, thanks, Mrs Smith.
00:11:14I'll take your husband's statement.
00:11:15Be on my way.
00:11:16Two sugars on me, love.
00:11:18And the hospital gave him this medication.
00:11:21My poor baby.
00:11:23Yeah.
00:11:24Go ahead, mate.
00:11:25Let's quit, Sergeant.
00:11:25I really do need to be off.
00:11:27So do I, Mr Smith.
00:11:28Yes, let the Sergeant get back to his duties.
00:11:30Do you know, Sergeant, there's a man knocked down in Stockwell every five minutes.
00:11:33Really?
00:11:34Yeah.
00:11:34And he's getting bloody fed up of it.
00:11:37Yeah, all right.
00:11:38Last night, at approximately 2300 hours, you were driving your taxi, where you witnessed
00:11:46two youths attempting to steal an old lady's handbag.
00:11:49Bloody hell.
00:11:50You intervened in the struggle.
00:11:52You intervened in the struggle.
00:11:53Twit.
00:11:54Aren't you going to be late for work, sir?
00:11:56Work?
00:11:57I'm one of the government's vital statistics.
00:11:59Beg your pardon?
00:12:00I'm temporarily unemployed.
00:12:02I see.
00:12:03Although I'm thinking of making it permanent.
00:12:05Really?
00:12:06Yeah.
00:12:06The hours are good.
00:12:07The hours.
00:12:08So, Mr Smith.
00:12:14Allow me.
00:12:15You two carry on.
00:12:17Hello, the Smith residence.
00:12:21No, I'm not Mr Smith.
00:12:24Yes, he is, but he's incapacitated at the moment.
00:12:27Evening who?
00:12:30Echo?
00:12:32London Evening Echo?
00:12:33Well, I'm Mr Smith's sort of press officer.
00:12:40How can I help you?
00:12:41Okay, just to get this straight, the two youths ran off.
00:12:44Yeah, down what blue road?
00:12:46You'll never guess who's just been on the phone.
00:12:47Shoosh!
00:12:48And it all ended up with me being hit by a handbag.
00:12:50Daymuggers.
00:12:51That's new, Sergeant.
00:12:52Your coffee's on the table there, then push off.
00:12:54Next thing I know, I wake up in hospital.
00:12:57Okay.
00:12:58I'll leave you the telephone number of the police station in case Mr Smith remembers any more.
00:13:02Call me any time or speak to one of my men.
00:13:06Right.
00:13:07I'll drop you off at the station, yeah?
00:13:09You'll stay in here.
00:13:11Ten minute walk.
00:13:12Do me good.
00:13:12I'll see you around.
00:13:13And don't you worry, Sergeant.
00:13:15I don't believe half the stuff I read about you boys in the newspapers.
00:13:19Gardner, wasn't it, sir?
00:13:20But you can call me Gary.
00:13:22I know what I'd call you, sir.
00:13:26Quite a morning, eh?
00:13:27And the best is yet to come.
00:13:28Do you know who that was?
00:13:29So, I've left my two mobiles in the taxi.
00:13:32Two mobiles?
00:13:33I need to make a phone call.
00:13:35And quick.
00:13:35What's wrong with this?
00:13:37Yeah.
00:13:39Now, you wait out in the hall and keep Michelle out of here.
00:13:44What do you mean, keep Michelle out of here?
00:13:45Just do it, as you told me.
00:13:46Well, don't you want to know what's coming?
00:13:47Look, madam, as I've said, I'm sorry.
00:14:04You've had time to email every hospital in the country.
00:14:07I keep telling you, madam, our computer went down, but it's sorted now.
00:14:11My husband could be lying in a hospital bed on one of those vibrators.
00:14:22London Evening Echo.
00:14:26London Evening Echo.
00:14:27Gary Gardner.
00:14:29Yeah, of course you can have my photo.
00:14:30Come on, Steph.
00:14:31Come on.
00:14:32I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance.
00:14:33Oh, hey.
00:14:34So, do you want to hear my really exciting news?
00:14:37No, I don't.
00:14:39Right, let's get you in a bit.
00:14:40Right, I'll pick you up from Tesco's right away, madam.
00:14:44I'm going to have to show off, darling.
00:14:45You're not going anywhere.
00:14:47Now, who wants to hear my really exciting news?
00:14:49You, clear off.
00:14:50No way!
00:14:51I want to be here when the reporter and the photographer turn up.
00:14:54What reporter?
00:14:55London Evening Echo.
00:14:57Interview, photo.
00:14:58Interview?
00:15:00Photo.
00:15:01Oh, God.
00:15:02I need to get changed.
00:15:04I'll wear black because I thought you'd been killed.
00:15:09You absolute idiot.
00:15:11What?
00:15:12What do you mean?
00:15:13You'll be on the front page.
00:15:15Stockwell taxi driver.
00:15:16Hero.
00:15:20I can't be seen in the papers.
00:15:25What do you mean?
00:15:26I can't be seen in the papers.
00:15:27You'll ruin me.
00:15:28I've got to get over to see Stephanie right away.
00:15:31Why would it ruin you?
00:15:32Oh, Stephanie.
00:15:33She's a lady.
00:15:40Hey.
00:15:41Hey.
00:15:42Hey.
00:15:42Hey, hey, hey.
00:15:43So you've got a little bit on the side, have you?
00:15:45There's more to Stephanie than there.
00:15:47Oh, she's a big bird, is she?
00:15:48Lovely.
00:15:49Yes.
00:15:49All hell will break loose if Stephanie reads anything in the newspapers about me and Michelle and living in Stockwell.
00:15:55Oh, what?
00:15:55Your girlfriend doesn't know you're married.
00:15:57Stephanie's not my girlfriend.
00:15:58She's my wife.
00:16:00No, no, no, no, no, Tommy, no.
00:16:04You are married to Michelle.
00:16:07Yeah.
00:16:08That too.
00:16:10You've got two wives.
00:16:11Yeah, I've got Michelle here and I've got Stephanie and Finsbury.
00:16:14Bloody hell.
00:16:15I thought you were an ordinary.
00:16:17Yeah, Stephanie's going to be worried sick.
00:16:19So you have to get rid of that book or when you arrive, sold it.
00:16:22Hold it.
00:16:23My bad.
00:16:25Now.
00:16:26If Gary's going to be your accomplice, Gary wants filling in, mate.
00:16:31Now, give.
00:16:33Okay.
00:16:35Michelle was the first.
00:16:37Oh, it was a lovely wedding.
00:16:39It was in a church.
00:16:41And I met Stephanie four months later.
00:16:43Four months?
00:16:44Well, she just got into my taxi at Victoria Station and when we got back to her flat in Finsbury, I offered to take our cases up.
00:16:53And, whoa, I mean, they were bloody heavy.
00:16:56So she got me a beer.
00:17:01And, you know, we chatted and she asked me if I wanted another beer and I said yes.
00:17:08And, you know, we chatted and then she got me another beer and we chatted some more and, you know, then...
00:17:16It's a bit you forgot to mention Michelle when you was doing all this chatting.
00:17:19Well, I'd never met anyone like Stephanie.
00:17:22You know, she'd been a dancer, you know, shows and stuff.
00:17:27We just hit it off.
00:17:29And then one thing led to another and another and another and another.
00:17:41We got engaged that night.
00:17:43What?
00:17:43Did you smell her that day?
00:17:45And you asked Stephanie to marry you?
00:17:47No, she asked me.
00:17:48What?
00:17:49I didn't have the heart to say no.
00:17:51Bloody hell!
00:17:53We got married in a registry office and I moved into her Finsbury flat.
00:17:57While still living with Michelle in Stockwell?
00:18:00You've committed bigamy, mate.
00:18:02That's what you've done.
00:18:03Well, sort of.
00:18:04Not sort of.
00:18:06Hundred percent bigamy.
00:18:07Yeah.
00:18:08It's a criminal offence.
00:18:10Yeah.
00:18:10You could go to jail.
00:18:11Yeah.
00:18:13Yeah.
00:18:13Well, doesn't that worry you?
00:18:15Well, I've been too busy to think about it.
00:18:18Now, I've got to get to Stephanie.
00:18:20She's going to be going out of her mind.
00:18:23Deal with that reporter.
00:18:25What did I tell him?
00:18:26Just make up a story.
00:18:29And keep this show occupied.
00:18:30Oh, I'm no good at this sort of thing.
00:18:32I'm not like you.
00:18:34I love them both, Gary.
00:18:36Now, I know it's not right.
00:18:38But they are my whole life and I couldn't bear to lose even one of them.
00:18:40So, just please, just stick by me, mate.
00:18:47Oh, God.
00:18:49It's that reporter.
00:18:51Get rid of them.
00:18:52Give me the keys to your flat.
00:18:53Dean, what are you going to do?
00:18:55I'm going to try steps.
00:18:56Just give me the bloody key now.
00:18:57For God's sake.
00:18:59Do not let them win our dog.
00:19:00If Michelle gets involved with Eddie...
00:19:02Go, go, go, go, go, go!
00:19:08This is him, 104.
00:19:10Hi.
00:19:11We're just here to see Mr. Smith.
00:19:13Yeah?
00:19:15I was just going to ring his bell.
00:19:17Oh, yeah.
00:19:18Do you live here?
00:19:19Yeah.
00:19:23I'll ring his bell, then, shall I?
00:19:25No, no, no.
00:19:25No, no need.
00:19:26No, no.
00:19:28You're not Mr. Smith, by any chance, are you?
00:19:31Yeah.
00:19:33Yeah.
00:19:34Oh, right.
00:19:35London Evening Echo.
00:19:36I'm Richard Holland.
00:19:37Call me Dick.
00:19:38My photographer, Francis.
00:19:40Hi, Dick.
00:19:40Hi, Francis.
00:19:42And I'll call you Fanny, Francis.
00:19:47Please do.
00:19:49That was a pretty brave thing you did this morning.
00:19:51What?
00:19:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:19:54Hi, Dick.
00:19:55Hi, Fanny.
00:19:57Hi, Fanny.
00:19:58Hi, Dick.
00:19:59Oh, where's he put that bloody phone?
00:20:08So, may we come in?
00:20:09No.
00:20:10Uh, no.
00:20:11My wife.
00:20:13Very ill.
00:20:15Spots.
00:20:17Sexually transmitted spots.
00:20:19They haven't even diagnosed it yet.
00:20:24Serious.
00:20:25Very serious.
00:20:26I'm sorry to hear that.
00:20:28Very sorry.
00:20:29Thanks, Fanny.
00:20:30Thanks, Dick.
00:20:32Yeah, we're all very sorry.
00:20:37Yes.
00:20:37So, shall we, um, go around to the little cafe around the corner?
00:20:50Yeah?
00:20:52Okay, fine by me.
00:20:53Might make a good picture.
00:20:55Uh, we'll go in your taxi, shall we?
00:20:57One of Mr Smith behind the wheel, eh?
00:20:59Yeah, great.
00:20:59No, I don't drive.
00:21:01At the moment, yeah.
00:21:03I got hit very hard with a handbag.
00:21:06My doctor says I mustn't.
00:21:07Shall we?
00:21:25Hello?
00:21:26Hello, sweetie.
00:21:28John, where are you?
00:21:29You're more than two hours late.
00:21:31I'm sorry, gorgeous.
00:21:33Ah, the taxi broke down.
00:21:35I was taking a fare to Luton Airport, and I've conked out miles from anywhere.
00:21:40Oh, I couldn't get to a phone.
00:21:42Why didn't you use your mobile?
00:21:44Well, would you believe it?
00:21:45Someone nicked it last night.
00:21:46Well, where are you calling from now?
00:21:48Oh, I'm in a farmer's cottage on the other side of Luton.
00:21:51I mean, I'm miles from anywhere.
00:21:53John!
00:21:54What is it?
00:21:55What's happened?
00:21:57Hang on a sec, sweetie.
00:21:58The farmer's just walked in.
00:22:00The farmer?
00:22:01It's definitely...
00:22:02Oh, did you get rid of that reporter?
00:22:04Disaster.
00:22:05Oh, we bumped into that damn Susie Browning from next door.
00:22:08You know, the one with her big mouth and a small bun.
00:22:10Yeah, yeah, number one.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:11Johnny!
00:22:12Hang on a second, sweetie.
00:22:14The farmer just wants the keys to the taxi.
00:22:16The AA have arrived.
00:22:17What's happened?
00:22:18The stupid woman called me Gary.
00:22:20You are Gary.
00:22:21I know that, but I told the reporter I was you.
00:22:23What?
00:22:24Oh, here comes that sexy Gary Gardner, she says.
00:22:26Have a look at the chocolate cake I got for our brave Johnny, Gary.
00:22:30Well, by then, the game was up.
00:22:32The reporter's...
00:22:32You total idiot.
00:22:33I told you I'd be no good at this.
00:22:43John, answer that, will you?
00:22:46John!
00:22:47Are you still there, John?
00:22:48Yeah, just dealing with the AA man.
00:22:50AA man.
00:22:51John!
00:22:59John!
00:23:01All in hand here, sweetie.
00:23:03You get yourself over to the sports centre and I will see you later.
00:23:07Okay, but I'd better call in at Finsbury Police Station first.
00:23:10Finsbury Police Station?
00:23:11Well, I reported you missing this morning.
00:23:15Missing.
00:23:15Missing?
00:23:19John!
00:23:23Johnny!
00:23:24Where the hell are you?
00:23:27Well, don't you do anything.
00:23:29The taxi's fixed.
00:23:30I'm going to make my way over to Finsbury Police Station.
00:23:32I'm going to sort it all out.
00:23:33I'll be there in ten minutes.
00:23:35On the other side of Luton?
00:23:37Say 15 minutes.
00:23:38Gary?
00:23:39Johnny, are you going to win Gary?
00:23:46Gary?
00:23:49Are you on the phone?
00:23:51Darling!
00:23:52Where's John?
00:23:53That reporter's here with a photographer.
00:24:01I'll be right down.
00:24:03Hey, babe.
00:24:05How you doing with your spots?
00:24:07My what?
00:24:09Gary told these two that you couldn't be seen because you've got sexually transmitted spots.
00:24:15Did you tell that reporter I've got sexually transmitted spots?
00:24:26Why?
00:24:27Oh, you silly...
00:24:31Zod!
00:24:41Zod!
00:24:45John!
00:24:46John, where's he gone?
00:24:48Don't worry.
00:24:51I'll find him.
00:25:01The farmer's speaking.
00:25:03Where's my husband?
00:25:05He's just gone for a wee-wee.
00:25:07Has he had an accident?
00:25:09No.
00:25:09I'm sure he made it in time.
00:25:11Look, I must go.
00:25:13The cows need milking.
00:25:14I'd like to speak to my husband now, please.
00:25:21Well, you'll have to shout.
00:25:22The toilet's at the other end of the barley field.
00:25:25We'll get him to call me back right away.
00:25:28Hang on.
00:25:29I'll just get something to write on.
00:25:31He knows the number.
00:25:347-2-8-7...
00:25:367-2-8-7...
00:25:386-6-4-1.
00:25:406-6-4-1.
00:25:43That's 0-2-0 from where you are.
00:25:45No, it's not.
00:25:46From outside London!
00:25:48Yes, it is.
00:25:51Gary!
00:25:52Bye-bye!
00:25:53I think some of our chickens are coming home to roost.
00:25:58Job centre.
00:26:00Me!
00:26:01A farmer!
00:26:02I ask you.
00:26:03I can't find John anywhere.
00:26:05His taxi's still outside.
00:26:07Wow.
00:26:08Well, you'd better come and talk to this reporter.
00:26:10Why the hell did you tell him you were John?
00:26:13Seemed like a good idea at the time.
00:26:14Oh, and that bloody Susie Browning's going to spread it all over Stockwell that I've got
00:26:18the pox.
00:26:19You're a bloody minute!
00:26:20We can make do with a two-minute interview and a quick photo.
00:26:25As long as we do the photo.
00:26:27Oh, yeah, a photo!
00:26:29I'm Mrs. Smith on her own, though.
00:26:30John!
00:26:31Yeah, he doesn't take a good picture.
00:26:33That, that, that profile is...
00:26:35Oh, uh, hey!
00:26:36Anyone for a picture?
00:26:37Oh, yeah!
00:26:38Oh, yeah, a photo!
00:26:39I'm Mrs. Smith on her own!
00:26:40No, John!
00:26:41Yeah, he doesn't take a good picture.
00:26:42That, that profile is...
00:26:43Oh, uh, hey!
00:26:44Anyone for a picture?
00:26:45I mean, I thought it must be.
00:26:46So, does anybody want a piece of cake?
00:26:47Does anybody want a piece of cake?
00:26:49Oh, yeah, I'm Mrs. Smith on her own, though.
00:26:50John!
00:26:51Yeah, he doesn't take a good picture.
00:26:53That, that profile is...
00:26:55Shut up!
00:26:56Hey, anyone for a piece of cake?
00:26:58You can't have just disappeared.
00:27:01Another ten minutes or we've missed this afternoon's edition.
00:27:02This is all your fault, Larry.
00:27:03I mean, I thought it must be.
00:27:04So...
00:27:05Does anybody want a piece of cake?
00:27:08Psst!
00:27:09Psst!
00:27:10Psst!
00:27:11Psst!
00:27:12Psst!
00:27:13Psst!
00:27:14Psst!
00:27:15Psst!
00:27:16Psst!
00:27:17Psst!
00:27:18Psst!
00:27:19Psst!
00:27:20Psst!
00:27:21Psst!
00:27:22Psst!
00:27:23Psst!
00:27:24Psst!
00:27:25Psst!
00:27:26Psst!
00:27:27Psst!
00:27:28Psst!
00:27:29Psst!
00:27:30Psst!
00:27:31Psst!
00:27:32Psst!
00:27:33Psst!
00:27:34Psst!
00:27:35Psst!
00:27:36Psst!
00:27:37Psst!
00:27:38Psst!
00:27:39Psst!
00:27:40Psst!
00:27:41Psst!
00:27:42Psst!
00:27:43Psst!
00:27:44Psst!
00:27:45Psst!
00:27:46Psst!
00:27:47Psst!
00:27:48Psst!
00:27:49Psst!
00:27:50Psst!
00:27:51Psst!
00:27:52Psst!
00:27:53Psst!
00:27:54Psst!
00:27:55Psst!
00:27:56Psst!
00:27:57Psst!
00:27:58Psst!
00:27:59Psst!
00:28:00I'll kick up the jacksie.
00:28:01Hang on, Sarge.
00:28:02Now, if all members of the public had a go...
00:28:05Now, that's funny.
00:28:07What?
00:28:08Where did you take Mr. Smith home?
00:28:10Down the road, Stockwell Place.
00:28:12Well, that's what I thought.
00:28:13The hospital's got his address wrong.
00:28:15Typical, eh?
00:28:17How do you mean?
00:28:18John Smith, taxi driver, concussion and bruising,
00:28:20minor delirium, address supplied by patient
00:28:23on arrival in A&E, flat 140,
00:28:26Lewin Estate, Lewin Road, Finsbury.
00:28:29Finsbury?
00:28:30Bloody NHS.
00:28:32Lucky he wasn't operated on for piles.
00:28:47Finsbury Police.
00:28:48Detective Sergeant Porterhouse speaking.
00:28:50Detective Sergeant Troughton, Stockwell.
00:28:52Did you have a John Smith reported as missing in your area
00:28:55at 9.30am today?
00:28:57Hang on a sec.
00:28:57Melissa?
00:28:58Was a Mr. Smith reported missing this morning?
00:29:02Yes, sir.
00:29:03By a very angry wife.
00:29:05The file's on your desk.
00:29:07I've got the file.
00:29:09Let's see.
00:29:10Yes.
00:29:11Mr. John Smith, 140, Lewin Estate, Lewin Road, Finsbury.
00:29:16Medium build.
00:29:17Brown hair, brown eyes, aged 33.
00:29:19That's the bloke, taxi driver.
00:29:22Good.
00:29:23You've got him, have you?
00:29:24Oh, yeah.
00:29:26I'll email you our report.
00:29:28I'm just nippling back to Stockwell Place.
00:29:29What do you ring's up, then?
00:29:30Who knows?
00:29:32Drugs.
00:29:33Illicit gambling.
00:29:35Body in the cellar.
00:29:35I've got you, Jimmy boy.
00:29:42I've got you, Jimmy boy.
00:29:42Let's go.
00:30:12Okay, Mrs. Smith, but if he's not somewhere around the back, we'll have to call it off.
00:30:35He won't be there. Call it off now.
00:30:37Shut up!
00:30:38He could be hiding in the allotment somewhere.
00:30:47John!
00:30:49I need a bit more practice.
00:30:51Oh, my baby! My baby!
00:31:00This way, Mr. Smith.
00:31:03Lovely.
00:31:04It'll just be the afternoon edition.
00:31:06Lovely.
00:31:07No, it bloody well won't.
00:31:08Oi!
00:31:08Back here!
00:31:10My camera!
00:31:11What are you doing? Give her a camera back!
00:31:13Where's the plate now?
00:31:15Back here!
00:31:15Do be careful with all those...
00:31:17You twitch!
00:31:22Oh, bloody pain!
00:31:28Sorry.
00:31:29Why don't you look where you're going?
00:31:39Stockwell.
00:31:41Michelle.
00:31:43Michelle.
00:31:44Stephanie.
00:31:47Finsbury.
00:31:48Finsbury Place.
00:31:49That was bloody funny.
00:32:18Tanks in!
00:32:32Finsbury Police Station.
00:32:34Fast.
00:32:37Stop your laundry off, are you?
00:32:39I suppose you think that was bloody funny.
00:33:07Not a sign of him.
00:33:32Now, should we all have a nice cup of tea?
00:33:33Shut up!
00:33:34Excuse me, sir.
00:33:35I don't know where you fit into all this, but we've run out of time, so we're interviewing Mrs. Smith at our office.
00:33:39To go with a photo of me and Johnny.
00:33:41And I don't know where you fit into this either.
00:33:44Yeah, if John's not back in the next few minutes, better call the police.
00:33:48Oh!
00:33:49Look after that, would ya?
00:33:50Come on.
00:33:51No, just cancel the whole thing!
00:33:53It's yesterday's news anyway!
00:33:56Bloody hell.
00:33:57Well, who's it, Mr. Gardner?
00:34:02Twice before lunch.
00:34:03Villain's having a day off.
00:34:04Called to see Mr. Smith again.
00:34:07Oh, well, he's out.
00:34:08And so is Mrs. Smith.
00:34:09Have to be you, then.
00:34:11Me?
00:34:12Need to fill in a few, er, blank spots.
00:34:15Right.
00:34:16Your flat, then.
00:34:18Shall we?
00:34:19Eek, eek.
00:34:26Whoa, easy.
00:34:30Wait here.
00:34:32Thanks, mate.
00:34:34Need a bit of an hurry, are we?
00:34:39So there you have it.
00:34:41My wife made a little mistake, and I've been found, and...
00:34:45Oh, I'm as fit as a fiddle.
00:34:47Actually, we did know you were no longer missing, Mr. Smith.
00:34:51Oh, you did?
00:34:52Stockwell police have been on.
00:34:54Stockwell?
00:34:55Our sergeant's gone round to your place in Lewin Road to give your wife the good news.
00:35:00What?
00:35:00Apparently there's also some confusion over an address in Stockwell.
00:35:05She also seems a bit confused over the use of a vibrator.
00:35:17She's a demeanor.
00:35:22Look.
00:35:26Look.
00:35:30We're heading off.
00:35:30I'm looking for Mrs Smith are we?
00:36:01Stephanie Smith, yes.
00:36:03She'll be at the sports centre, taking the old deers through their paces.
00:36:06Knees bent, touch your toes, wobble your boobies.
00:36:11Do you live in this block, sir?
00:36:12Yes, we're in the flat above the Smiths, Cyril and me.
00:36:15We're in the dressmaking business.
00:36:17Trouble is, Cyril can't bear to part with half of them.
00:36:22Mrs Smith at the sports centre, you say?
00:36:25Yes, at the church hall, just before the high street.
00:36:27You're joining her class, are you?
00:36:29No, of course.
00:36:31Thanks for your help.
00:36:32I'm Bobby Franklin, by the way.
00:36:34Look, Detective Sergeant Porthouse.
00:36:36Well, I'll be making my way to the church hall then.
00:36:39You behave yourself with all those titty-witties.
00:36:43Right, I will.
00:36:44Wait here.
00:37:02Take your time.
00:37:05Coo-wee!
00:37:06Bobby!
00:37:07Has someone been round to see Steph?
00:37:09Well, yes, just now.
00:37:11A sweet policeman.
00:37:12Bloody hell.
00:37:13But your Steph isn't in.
00:37:15Thank God.
00:37:17She's at the sports centre, yeah?
00:37:19That's why I tell the sergeant.
00:37:20Eh?
00:37:20What are you two up to?
00:37:23Naughty videos?
00:37:27Ah!
00:37:28There's some confusion over his address!
00:37:31I thought you said there was some confusion over his dress!
00:37:35So, what was the confusion over his dress?
00:37:40As to whether it's Stockwell or Finsbury.
00:37:42Stockwell or F...
00:37:43F...
00:37:43F...
00:37:44F...
00:37:44F...
00:37:45F...
00:37:46Finsbury.
00:37:50OK, ladies.
00:37:52Are you ready?
00:37:52Let's go!
00:37:578, 5, 6, 7, 8, right, left, pull the chain, pull the chain, one more time, pull the chain,
00:38:10reach up, push forward, reach up, push forward, reach up, push forward, reach up, push forward,
00:38:16push forward, down, push down, push down, push down, push down, grab the cock, grab,
00:38:23that's it, ladies, get those forward, and shuffle, and shuffle, and shuffle, and shuffle.
00:38:30Excuse me, Stephanie, there's a gentleman from Finsbury Police Station wants to see you.
00:38:35Keep it going, ladies!
00:38:36I'm so sorry you've been to all this trouble, Sergeant.
00:38:47My husband was supposed to call in at your police station.
00:38:50Be there in a second, ladies!
00:38:52Don't stop now!
00:38:53Anyway, his taxi broke down on the way to Luton Airport, and he ended up on a farm.
00:39:01A farm?
00:39:02Luton Airport?
00:39:08Wait here.
00:39:08Are you available?
00:39:15Not for about two weeks, love.
00:39:21I mean, what a coincidence.
00:39:23Two John Smiths, both getting their heads bashed on the same day.
00:39:28This one's not you, then.
00:39:30No, you can see it's not me.
00:39:33This poor bloke spent the night in St Thomas' Hospital with a head injury after a mug incident.
00:39:39So, how did you sustain your injury, sir?
00:39:41Yeah, what happened?
00:39:43Oh, at the farm.
00:39:46I hit my head on one of them low beams, but boom.
00:39:50Oh, poor Johnny.
00:39:52Oh, no, baby, I'm not.
00:39:53So, you weren't in Stockwell around 2300 hours last night?
00:39:56No.
00:39:57Driving your taxi?
00:39:59Taxi?
00:39:59Taxi, says here.
00:40:02This chap's occupation is a taxi driver.
00:40:04That's why I never could have seen this as being coming.
00:40:07Isn't it?
00:40:12It's a puzzle, isn't it?
00:40:14Yeah.
00:40:15I think I'll go and call on this other John Smith.
00:40:19Call on him?
00:40:22Yeah, in Finsbury.
00:40:25Hang on!
00:40:26Oh, it's a sudden.
00:40:27Finsbury's outside your beat, isn't it?
00:40:31Just a social call, Mr Gardner.
00:40:33Just a social call.
00:40:37I'd better call John in Finsbury.
00:40:38I mean, would you believe it?
00:40:44Two John Smiths, both taxi drivers, both getting their heads best.
00:40:48On the same day.
00:40:49On the same day.
00:40:54Yes, but...
00:40:55Why would this Stockwell, Mr Smith, give his address as Lewin Estate, Finsbury?
00:41:02That's our address, John.
00:41:11John's phone number in Finsbury.
00:41:13Why did I put a piece of paper?
00:41:16Pocket.
00:41:16Phone.
00:41:17Oh, Mr Gardner.
00:41:21Yes, Sergeant?
00:41:22Do you know what an accessory is?
00:41:24A handbag?
00:41:29Oh, an accessory.
00:41:33Yes.
00:41:34Good.
00:41:34Good.
00:41:54Oh, shit.
00:42:08No, please.
00:42:09Double shit.
00:42:10Oh, shit.
00:42:10Whoa. That really is. Oh, of course. The reason St. Thomas' Hospital have got this other John
00:42:25Smith's address down here as mine is because I was in St. Thomas' a couple of days ago.
00:42:31They've got my record confused with this other Mr. Smith. You never said you'd been to the
00:42:36hospital, sweetie. Oh, nothing serious, sweetie. What it was, I hit my head on the taxi bonnet,
00:42:42like, boom. Dead unlucky with your head, aren't you, sir? Yeah, I am, ain't I? I mean, I was in and out
00:42:51in five minutes. But, of course, they took down all my particulars. Yeah. Well. Drive safely, Sergeant.
00:43:01Oh, by the way, sir, your head. Yes? Which hospital treated your most recent misfortune,
00:43:09the incident with the beam? Oh, no, they didn't. The farmer's wife was an ex-nurse. She fixed it.
00:43:17I always seem to fall on me feet. I hope you always check what you've landed in.
00:43:22Ha, ha, ha, ha. I got you on your way.
00:43:25Ha, ha, ha. Oh.
00:43:31Oh, thank you. Hello? Anyone home? Michelle? Mickey, love?
00:44:01All right. I've got a phone, John. In Finsbury. Paper. Paper.
00:44:08Paper. Phone. What's the phone? What's the bloody phone?
00:44:13Phone. A bit of paper.
00:44:31Phone.
00:44:32Phone.
00:44:49I don't know.
00:45:19I don't know.
00:45:49I don't know.
00:45:51I don't know.
00:45:53I don't know.
00:45:55Please.
00:45:56Please.
00:45:57Please.
00:45:58Hello, this is John Smith.
00:46:03I'm not available.
00:46:09Sorry, sir.
00:46:15All the doors are open.
00:46:17Were they?
00:46:19Detective Sergeant Porterhouse.
00:46:23Stockwell, please.
00:46:24Finsbury, actually.
00:46:26Finsbury?
00:46:27It's just a matter of a little confirmation.
00:46:29That's all semi-official.
00:46:31Stockwell's not really my jurisdiction, but it's concerning a namesake of yours.
00:46:38Of mine?
00:46:39Yes.
00:46:40Bit of a surprise, eh, Mr. Smith?
00:46:43Yes!
00:46:44I've just been talking to this other Mr. Smith in Finsbury.
00:46:48No!
00:46:49I thought you'd be surprised.
00:46:51Yes!
00:46:52Well, it's all pretty much resolved, but just to set our record straight in Finsbury, I'd
00:46:59like to confirm the cause of your head injury.
00:47:04The cause of one of its me in Stockwell, I must have been hit by a handbag.
00:47:16Yes.
00:47:17That confirms it.
00:47:18Finsbury, low beam and taxi bonnet.
00:47:21Stockwell, ladies' handbag.
00:47:23Great!
00:47:24Now, if you'll excuse me, Sergeant, I was just about to go to, um, bed.
00:47:32Bed?
00:47:33Bed.
00:47:34God, I hope John's home.
00:47:36That bang on the ears made him go really funny.
00:47:39I'll get down to the tube station and wait for the evening echoes to come in.
00:47:45It might seem too early for bed to you, Sergeant, but with all this shift work,
00:47:49it's the only chance the wife and I get from being knocking.
00:47:51You understand.
00:47:52I see.
00:47:56Bye, Michelle!
00:48:00Bye, Michelle!
00:48:03Oi!
00:48:04Oh, are you Mrs. Michelle Smith?
00:48:06Yes, she's Michelle.
00:48:07Hi, Michelle.
00:48:08Bye, Michelle.
00:48:09Detective Sergeant Porterhouse.
00:48:10Oh, is it about my John?
00:48:11Yes, all sorted.
00:48:12Shut up and push up!
00:48:14Why the hell have you got your trousers off?
00:48:17Off we go.
00:48:19Hold it!
00:48:20Is my John all right?
00:48:22I think so.
00:48:23Yeah, definitely no problem.
00:48:25Goodbye, Mickey.
00:48:26She prefers to be called Michelle.
00:48:30Bye, Michelle.
00:48:31Off we go.
00:48:35Mrs. Smith's left of your face.
00:48:36Oh, she likes a bit of rough stuff before our morning session.
00:48:40Oi!
00:48:41You!
00:48:42Can you drop me at the high street?
00:48:43I thought you two were going to bed.
00:48:44Moon cheese and I need to buy some Viagra.
00:48:45You're gonna get it now.
00:48:46Bloody hell.
00:48:47Come on, Gary!
00:48:48Come on!
00:48:49Got to go.
00:48:50Sweetheart, relax.
00:48:51No.
00:48:52Got to get back on the road.
00:48:53Got to earn that dosh.
00:48:54Absolute disaster.
00:48:55That dizzy bitch Cyril.
00:48:56I go out and buy a newspaper, come back, and the stupid cow is nattering away on the
00:49:01phone while the bar 40 is overflowing like me.
00:49:02No.
00:49:03No.
00:49:04No.
00:49:05No.
00:49:06No.
00:49:07No.
00:49:08No.
00:49:09No.
00:49:10No.
00:49:11No.
00:49:12No.
00:49:13No.
00:49:14No.
00:49:15No.
00:49:16No.
00:49:17No.
00:49:18No.
00:49:19No.
00:49:20What the hell's happened?
00:49:21We're dying this frog for some tart in tooting and now we've got two feet of red water slopping
00:49:27all around.
00:49:28The bloody million.
00:49:29Nightmare.
00:49:31I've gotta nip off.
00:49:32No, lovie.
00:49:33Your flat is directly under ours.
00:49:36You could have the red bloody sea in your flat by now.
00:49:38I'm having a bit of a come-over.
00:49:42I haven't read that yet.
00:49:48What the hell are you doing?
00:50:11Eating a newspaper.
00:50:14Get it here.
00:50:15Yeah, listen, you was right.
00:50:19I was hungry.
00:50:22He's not actually eating a newspaper, is he?
00:50:26Just digesting the news, maybe.
00:50:31Well, it is today's.
00:50:34It's nice and fresh.
00:50:37It's your John Hawley.
00:50:39I don't know, but ever since he's had that bang on the head,
00:50:42he's gone really funny.
00:50:45Hi, John.
00:50:51Oh, Mr. Smith.
00:51:02We don't need a taxi.
00:51:03We're just round the corner.
00:51:04Well, I need a taxi.
00:51:05I'll see you back in the flat, yeah?
00:51:08It's not well.
00:51:10Drive.
00:51:10You don't need all those bloody echoes.
00:51:24Oh, dear.
00:51:30Echo!
00:51:32Round and evening echo!
00:51:34Evening echo.
00:51:35Oi!
00:51:36Hey, come here!
00:51:37Just good friends.
00:51:44Here we go.
00:51:47There we are.
00:51:49Let's get down here.
00:51:53Well, that'll be lovely.
00:51:55I think I can find it from here.
00:51:57No, son, listen, I know they're doing a stage right near where I live.
00:52:15Oh, and as I was saying, about these hip-bid playsheets.
00:52:35I'll be a couple of minutes.
00:52:36Don't go away.
00:52:37Not bloody likely.
00:52:38You owe me a fortune!
00:52:39You're allowed to make anybody go straight, you are!
00:52:48Don't worry, or I just have to try again!
00:52:51Get over!
00:52:57For God's sake, Mr. Smith, are you there yet?
00:53:01Oh.
00:53:02Oh.
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:04Oh.
00:53:05Oh.
00:53:05Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:06Oh.
00:53:07Oh.
00:53:07Oh.
00:53:07Oh.
00:53:07Oh.
00:53:08Oh.
00:53:08Oh.
00:53:08Oh.
00:53:09Oh.
00:53:09Oh.
00:53:09Oh.
00:53:09Oh.
00:53:12Bloody hell.
00:53:24Please give a message after the beep, and I might get back to you!
00:53:26I'm in Finsbury.
00:53:27Give me a Stockwell update!
00:53:29I'll give you an update, Johnny boy.
00:53:34Wow!
00:53:34What a lovely surprise!
00:53:38Oh!
00:53:38How did you get in?
00:53:44Tricks of the trade.
00:53:46How did you get in, Mr Smith?
00:53:48Well, I was just passing.
00:53:51And I just thought, you know...
00:53:52You got a key, haven't you?
00:53:57This flat's yours, isn't it?
00:54:03There is no other Mr Smith, is there?
00:54:08I'll get rid of them.
00:54:10You stay there, Johnny boy.
00:54:14Don't want you rushing around banging your head again now, do we?
00:54:20John! Troughton's on the way!
00:54:23On the way.
00:54:24On the way.
00:54:27Hiya.
00:54:31Look who's arrived.
00:54:33It's Mr Gardner.
00:54:36So, the plot thickens.
00:54:38I'm ever so sorry, John.
00:54:44It's all right, mate.
00:54:48The game was up anyway.
00:54:50If there's any criminal offence involved, Mr Smith,
00:54:53you may care to speak to a solicitor.
00:54:56Bloody hell.
00:54:59The reason I've got two flats is because...
00:55:03Well, we're a pair, aren't we?
00:55:05A pair of what?
00:55:17Oh!
00:55:21This dear, sweet man, he took the flat below Michelle and me in Stockwell and...
00:55:26Well, we just knew, didn't we?
00:55:29I...
00:55:30Shh!
00:55:32Finally, we succumbed.
00:55:37And we found our little love nest.
00:55:40So, do pair of you rent this flat?
00:55:42I bloody don't!
00:55:43No, no, I'd pay him.
00:55:45Gary chips in when he can.
00:55:47Michelle knows nothing, of course.
00:55:49If she was to find out that I was, you know, ACDC...
00:55:53ACDC?
00:55:55This doesn't need to go any further, does it, Sergeant?
00:55:57I'll see what my superintendent says.
00:56:01Are you all deaf in here?
00:56:04Sarah and I have been banging away up there for ages.
00:56:08And you've got a bloody big hole, too.
00:56:13May I ask who you are, sir?
00:56:16Who wants to know, Chuck?
00:56:17Detective Sergeant Troughton, Chuck.
00:56:21Whoop-de-boo.
00:56:22Oh, come with me.
00:56:23I need a big, strong man to hold their ceiling up.
00:56:25I can't stop the flow!
00:56:28What the hell's happened now?
00:56:30I slipped and pulled the shower out the wall.
00:56:32Go and turn it off at the beach while I sort this lot out.
00:56:35Come on.
00:56:37Come on, you two.
00:56:39What did you give you ACDC?
00:56:44No, I'm really worried about John.
00:56:46He should have shown you how the profile.
00:56:48You really should.
00:56:49Something must have happened to him.
00:56:51Right, I'm going to ring that Sergeant Troughton from Stockwell Police.
00:56:54He gave me his number on a piece of paper.
00:56:56Where did I put it?
00:56:59Here it is.
00:57:01He said I should speak to him or one of his men.
00:57:03It's like that as it falls down there.
00:57:13He's had a bloody main feet up there.
00:57:15I took him to turn it off at the main.
00:57:17No!
00:57:18Bloody wall!
00:57:19Ow!
00:57:19Ow!
00:57:20Ow!
00:57:20Ow!
00:57:20Ow!
00:57:20Ow!
00:57:21Ow!
00:57:21Ow!
00:57:21Ow!
00:57:21Ow!
00:57:21Ow!
00:57:22Ow!
00:57:22Ow!
00:57:22Ow!
00:57:23Ow!
00:57:23Ow!
00:57:23Ow!
00:57:24Ow!
00:57:24Ow!
00:57:25Ow!
00:57:26Ow!
00:57:27Ow!
00:57:28Ow!
00:57:29Ow!
00:57:30Ow!
00:57:31Ow!
00:57:32Ow!
00:57:33Oh!
00:57:34Oh!
00:57:35It's still coming through!
00:57:36Oh!
00:57:37Oh!
00:57:38Believe it, yeah!
00:57:39Oh!
00:57:40Oh!
00:57:41Oh!
00:57:42Oh!
00:57:43Doing a good job there, Sergeant.
00:57:45Oh!
00:57:46Oh!
00:57:47Oh!
00:57:48Oh!
00:57:49Oh!
00:57:50Oh!
00:57:51Oh!
00:57:52Oh!
00:57:53yep oh this is Michelle Smith speaking oh hello what's up I don't know someone
00:58:14answered the phone but all I can hear is every breathing
00:58:23come on I've got another bucket full out there what did you do that for Michelle well I never
00:58:42want to help who should get this number I found the meter and turned the water off
00:58:52what the bloody hell are you doing now I found the answer it's much quicker lovey
00:58:58oh
00:59:04oh
00:59:05oh
00:59:10oh
00:59:12oh
00:59:13oh
00:59:17oh
00:59:19my God
00:59:21Oh, God!
00:59:36Cyril's arse is stuck in your ceiling!
00:59:42One more dance and I really must go.
00:59:47Right, I'm getting back to the station,
00:59:48and you're lucky I don't stick one on you for wasting police time.
00:59:56Hello?
00:59:57Is that 0207 287 664 1?
01:00:01Yes. Detective Sergeant Troughton speaking.
01:00:04Oh, good, I got straight through this time. Bloody police.
01:00:08It's Mrs Smith speaking, from 104 Stockwell Place.
01:00:13Mrs Smith, from 104 Stockwell Place.
01:00:16You called on us earlier this morning.
01:00:18Don't sit through it.
01:00:20Yeah, I remember.
01:00:21I thought you said your wife didn't know anything about this place.
01:00:23She doesn't.
01:00:24Shut up and sit down.
01:00:26Hello?
01:00:27Yeah, sorry, Mrs Smith, someone was interrupting.
01:00:29Trouble on the line again.
01:00:31Beg your pardon?
01:00:32Well, the last time I dialed this number,
01:00:33all I got was heavy breathing.
01:00:36Heavy breathing?
01:00:37I see.
01:00:38Maybe she's got the wrong end of the stick.
01:00:40You sit down as well, Tinkerbell.
01:00:44Haspin!
01:00:44Steerbladder!
01:00:45Oh!
01:00:45I'm worried about Mr Smith's behaviour.
01:00:51His behaviour?
01:00:52I think she might have sussed you out.
01:00:55But, Mrs Smith,
01:00:56I don't quite see why it is
01:00:58that you're ringing this particular number.
01:01:02Because it's yours.
01:01:03Mine?
01:01:04Well, isn't this a good place to get you?
01:01:06What, me?
01:01:07Here?
01:01:08Yes, you!
01:01:09And the men!
01:01:10What men?
01:01:10The men you have under you!
01:01:13Eh?
01:01:14Well, don't you all operate from there?
01:01:16Now, look here, Mrs Smith.
01:01:17I am a perfectly straight police officer.
01:01:20And it's nothing to do with me
01:01:21that your husband and Mr Gardner
01:01:22are engaged in a homosexual relationship.
01:01:24We've got a life and death drama
01:01:34going on through there, you know!
01:01:40John?
01:01:41Gary?
01:01:42Yeah.
01:01:43I'm with the pair of them now.
01:01:44I'm sorry if it's come as a bit of a shock,
01:01:46but you were already on to them, weren't you?
01:01:48John and Gary?
01:01:49What the hell's happened?
01:01:52John's having it off with Gary.
01:01:53Having what off?
01:01:55Oh, my God!
01:01:57I'm coming, sir!
01:01:58I'm coming!
01:01:59Hang in there, please!
01:02:01But what are they both doing at the police station?
01:02:04No, no, they're here.
01:02:05They're flat in Finsbury.
01:02:06Flat in Finsbury?
01:02:08Oh, my...
01:02:08Lewin Estate, Lewin Road, Finsbury.
01:02:14Michelle!
01:02:16Hello?
01:02:19Right.
01:02:20I'm going back to the station.
01:02:21Make my report.
01:02:23Oh, and it seems to me, Mr. Gardiner,
01:02:25that Mr. Smith had a perfectly happy marriage
01:02:27until you came mincing into his life.
01:02:33You rotten devil!
01:02:36I'm telling Michelle I'm on my way home to explain.
01:02:38Explain!
01:02:42Michelle!
01:02:44Babe!
01:02:45It's probably just a matey thing!
01:02:47Tennis, snow car, ball games!
01:02:49He thinks I'm a practising homosexual!
01:03:09Well, as long as you're only practising.
01:03:11She's not answering.
01:03:12She's on her way to Finsbury.
01:03:17Homosexual!
01:03:18I have enough problems convincing some people I'm a homo sapien!
01:03:21No, I mean, are you okay?
01:03:28Oh, yeah.
01:03:29Happy as a pig and shit.
01:03:30You deal with Bobby and Sue, I'll somehow stop this show getting into the flat.
01:03:35Here you go.
01:03:36Can you move?
01:03:40Oh, hello again.
01:03:42Hey, boy.
01:03:43Good.
01:03:44Been in another accident, have you, sir?
01:03:45I've just a little bit of a problem in the bathroom.
01:03:48I've got a gas.
01:03:50Well, I'm a slip.
01:03:54What the hell haven't you got a sat-nav?
01:03:56Hang on, I'm getting it!
01:03:58Westminster Bridge, no Lambeth, no Westminster, Trafalgar Square, the Strand, Holborn, Chuckle Wright, and then...
01:04:05I don't need a geography lesson.
01:04:08Why were you doing?
01:04:10Five years we've been married, and all the time he's been having it off with Gary Gardner.
01:04:14I don't care about that.
01:04:18When I see him, Michelle, I'm going to kill you.
01:04:22I should have asked you at the sports centre, but I've got rather caught up with your headbanging.
01:04:28A signature there confirming you are no longer a missing person.
01:04:33Which, of course, you're not.
01:04:34Oh, and, uh, that's a signature there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, and there.
01:04:49He's still here.
01:04:51Good.
01:04:52Cakes.
01:04:53Ooh.
01:04:54Sandwiches.
01:04:55Lovely.
01:04:56Bye.
01:04:57Cheerio.
01:04:57I could be here for dinner.
01:05:12Don't you go anywhere.
01:05:14No hurry, mate.
01:05:15I'm going to take early retirement after this little lot.
01:05:18Oh, and, uh, a last signature.
01:05:21Here.
01:05:21God knows what's happened to my chin-tuck.
01:05:29Turn the tap off, you silly drama queen.
01:05:32Anyway, I'll get into the car, and I'll take you around to the doctor's.
01:05:35Take me to the undergy.
01:05:36Oh, no.
01:05:40Good Lord.
01:05:42Mr. Smith.
01:05:43Yes?
01:05:44No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:05:45The other Mr. Smith.
01:05:47Other Mr. Smith?
01:05:48Your namesake from Stockwell.
01:05:52Oh, yeah.
01:05:54My, um, Mr. Smith from Stockwell.
01:05:58He just dropped by to introduce himself.
01:06:02Well, I bet the two of you have had a good laugh, didn't he?
01:06:05Oh, yes, we.
01:06:07I've never laughed so much in my life.
01:06:08Like a couple of high heels, we are.
01:06:11Oh, you've been helping Mr. Smith out with his problem in the bathroom, have you?
01:06:14Yeah.
01:06:16That's it.
01:06:16Oh, uh, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
01:06:19Right, on your way, you.
01:06:21Come on in.
01:06:30Here we are, yes.
01:06:31Well, thanks very much anyway.
01:06:32Yeah.
01:06:35Has your wife been introduced to this Mr. Smith?
01:06:38No, no, no, she hasn't.
01:06:39Well, she's in for a laugh, too.
01:06:41Stephanie.
01:06:47Triple shit.
01:06:50Here.
01:06:50Mrs. Smith, you're gonna laugh.
01:06:53That other Mr. Smith has just turned up.
01:06:55From Stockwell?
01:06:56He popped by to say, to introduce himself, yeah?
01:06:59Oh, great.
01:07:05Hello, sweetie.
01:07:07Um, where are you off to now?
01:07:09What the hell has happened to you?
01:07:11Oh, it's Bobby's red dye.
01:07:13All sorted now, though, all sorted.
01:07:14Hey, Mr. Smith.
01:07:18Say hello to Mr. Smith's missus.
01:07:22Mr. Smith.
01:07:27Great, well, I'll pop this in the shed, and I'll be back in a sec.
01:07:30Don't go away, other Mr. Smith.
01:07:31Let's see what else we've got in common.
01:07:34Bye.
01:07:35Have a great day.
01:07:36Taxi!
01:07:40Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:07:41Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:07:42Where do you think you're going?
01:07:43God knows, anyway.
01:07:44Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:07:44Michelle's gonna be here any minute.
01:07:46What?
01:07:46What about that?
01:07:47Well, she'll meet Stephanie.
01:07:48Yeah, I know that, too.
01:07:49Look, it's over, mate.
01:07:50It's over?
01:07:51It's not over.
01:07:52It's not over till the fat lady sings.
01:07:54The fat lady's already done six choruses.
01:07:56You've got to face up to it, John.
01:07:57I am facing up to it.
01:07:59I've been taking it for granted for years,
01:08:01how much I love them both,
01:08:02and how much they love me,
01:08:03and I couldn't bear to hurt.
01:08:07I think I've got a plan.
01:08:19Oh, my God.
01:08:31Right.
01:08:32Bobby's flat's above mine.
01:08:34Quick.
01:08:34No!
01:08:34It won't work.
01:08:36It's brilliant.
01:08:37Tratton never give her the flat number,
01:08:38just Lewin Estate, Lewin Road.
01:08:40Bobby and Sue,
01:08:41they won't be back from the doctor's
01:08:42for at least an hour.
01:08:43Michelle will still find me and you together.
01:08:46Anything's better than finding me
01:08:47and Stephanie together.
01:08:49Hmm.
01:08:49I'm a man of a man of a person.
01:09:03I'm a man of a person.
01:09:04I'm a man of a person.
01:09:14We have to go anywhere!
01:09:44Can you move it back?
01:09:59No, I'm sorry, love. I'm on a diversion.
01:10:02Oh, good for you. This is my third.
01:10:05I'm completely blocked in. I'm sorry. You'll have to move back, love. This is a very big vehicle.
01:10:10How do you expect me to get through there? Move the bloody thing back. I've got to get through there.
01:10:13Do you know how difficult it is to fly in reverse on this thing? I don't care!
01:10:16All right, all right, all right. I'll... I'll reverse.
01:10:20Second. My first day, would you believe it?
01:10:24Reverse. It must be it, isn't it?
01:10:26Oh, thank God!
01:10:28I'm not saying, please!
01:10:35Oh, I'm fed up with this.
01:10:38I'm walking the rest of the way to Ascot.
01:10:42Oh, God!
01:10:46Is this your best day ever, darling?
01:10:49Oh!
01:10:51She's a bit upset!
01:10:54Do be upset, too, if your arse bone was having help with Gary Gardner!
01:11:00Who's Gary Gardner?
01:11:02Oh, no!
01:11:03No!
01:11:04Oh, no!
01:11:06Oh, no!
01:11:07Oh!
01:11:08Oh!
01:11:10Oh, no!
01:11:11Oh!
01:11:12Oh!
01:11:14Oh!
01:11:15Why the bloody hell would I have a key?
01:11:21OK, I know a shortcut.
01:11:23Through the hole in my bathroom ceiling.
01:11:27Bloody hell!
01:11:42Oh, hello there, Brother Mr Smith.
01:11:45Are you married, Mr Smith?
01:11:51I think so, yeah.
01:11:53Is your wife with you?
01:11:54I don't think so, no.
01:11:56Well, that'd be three coffees, then.
01:12:08You missed me! You missed me!
01:12:10I'll go for us, and then I'll pull them off.
01:12:24Bloody hell!
01:12:25Oh!
01:12:36Stephanie!
01:12:45Hope he's on his way!
01:12:46Take your pick.
01:13:03Take your pick.
01:13:09What's she going to do?
01:13:11Knock on every bloody door!
01:13:13Michelle!
01:13:14What?
01:13:15Look!
01:13:18What's all the bloody knocking for?
01:13:21Collecting for charity.
01:13:23Piss off!
01:13:29Number 152!
01:13:31152!
01:13:32Mr John Smith!
01:13:33He's got to be up here somewhere!
01:13:34Come on!
01:13:44All right, all right!
01:13:46How the bloody hell am I supposed to get up there?
01:13:48Just...
01:13:48Just climb up me!
01:13:50I know you're in there, the pair of you!
01:14:02She's here!
01:14:04And remember, it's all been a little misunderstanding!
01:14:08It all!
01:14:13Three coffees!
01:14:14I can't control my own ambition!
01:14:20Don?
01:14:20Because I'm addicted!
01:14:23Donnie?
01:14:25Mr Smith?
01:14:28I'm going to count!
01:14:30To ten!
01:14:30I might be having an afternoon nap, babe!
01:14:33Two, four, six, eight, ten!
01:14:37Oh, Don, you're in there!
01:14:44All right, get up!
01:14:50Oh, fuck it!
01:14:51Oh, bloody hell!
01:14:53Oh, my God!
01:14:54You idiot!
01:14:55Mind my bloody trousers!
01:14:57God!
01:15:02All right, come on!
01:15:03Okay!
01:15:07Babe!
01:15:09Excuse me!
01:15:11Can I help you?
01:15:12Not unless you've got a key to this bloody door!
01:15:15No!
01:15:16I haven't!
01:15:17Give me your bloody hands!
01:15:19Here, come!
01:15:22Oh!
01:15:22Oh!
01:15:23Oh, God!
01:15:24If you ever asked me to do you and have a bloody favour!
01:15:27Are you a friend of Bobby's?
01:15:28Bobby's?
01:15:29Yes!
01:15:30Lives up there with Cyril!
01:15:31Oh, that's lovely, that is!
01:15:33Bobby and Cyril!
01:15:34They're not going to use their real names, are they, babe?
01:15:38Bobby and Cyril!
01:15:40Ooh!
01:15:42Come on, careful!
01:15:45You be careful!
01:15:46Give me back to a bloody dress!
01:15:50Oh!
01:15:51Ow!
01:15:52Oh!
01:15:52Oh!
01:15:53Oh!
01:15:54Oh!
01:16:02Come down, Neil!
01:16:04Just calm down!
01:16:05I'm going to kill the pair of you!
01:16:08This...
01:16:08It's just a big of misunderstanding!
01:16:11There's nothing. There's bloody of it.
01:16:17How long's it been going on?
01:16:18Nothing's going on. It's just a bit of a misunderstanding.
01:16:21You shut up.
01:16:23Of course.
01:16:24Excuse me.
01:16:28It's all right. Go back downstairs. We're dealing with this.
01:16:31Yeah. Piss off. Piss off.
01:16:33You heard the lady piss off.
01:16:34Who the bloody hell are you anyway?
01:16:38We're on the flat downstairs.
01:16:40I'm not the bloody hell.
01:16:41Does she mean by we?
01:16:43I'm going to call the police.
01:16:44No, I'm going to call the police.
01:16:46She just needs some aspirins.
01:16:48Talk about ambidextrous.
01:16:50A gay flat up here and some tart in the flat down below.
01:16:53Right. I'm going to sort her out.
01:16:56And then I'm coming back to cut your balls off.
01:16:59Michelle. Michelle.
01:17:05Excuse me.
01:17:10Michelle.
01:17:10Michelle.
01:17:16Michelle.
01:17:18I have to tell you.
01:17:19I'm going to tear her guts out.
01:17:22No.
01:17:22Listen.
01:17:24That lady.
01:17:26She's not a tart.
01:17:27A whore then.
01:17:28No.
01:17:29She's not a whore.
01:17:30She's not a tart.
01:17:32She's a fella.
01:17:39She's a fella.
01:17:43A fella?
01:17:45Yeah.
01:17:46It's a transvestite.
01:17:47A transvestite?
01:17:49That's when a man dresses up as a lady.
01:17:51We know what a transvestite is.
01:17:54She is a man.
01:17:56Yeah.
01:17:57Now, Fred, he looks amazing when he gets all dolled up.
01:18:01Fred!
01:18:01And does Fred wall round things be like that?
01:18:04Oh, yeah.
01:18:06Well, he's part of your kinky set-up as well, is he?
01:18:08Well, no, actually.
01:18:11He's a friend of Gary's.
01:18:14Fred is not our friend of Gary's.
01:18:16Oh, well, let's not fight over him, Gary.
01:18:19Poor Michelle.
01:18:21He's had enough shots for one day.
01:18:24You're my little darling.
01:18:26Oh, damn Willem!
01:18:29I can't believe it of you, Johnny.
01:18:33But I'm not so surprised about you, Cyril!
01:18:39I thought you loved me, Johnny.
01:18:42Oh, I do, darling.
01:18:45So much.
01:18:46So much.
01:18:47Now, I've made a terrible, terrible mistake.
01:18:49Now, let me get you one, sweetie, yeah?
01:18:53Yeah, thank you.
01:18:53Yeah, Susie?
01:18:55You take Gary.
01:18:56And Gary, you'd better break it off a letter, Fred.
01:19:02Aspen!
01:19:06Where's that crazy lady with the, um, knife?
01:19:09It's all right.
01:19:10John's taking her home.
01:19:12John is?
01:19:15Poor Mrs Smith.
01:19:17She's had a hell of a day.
01:19:19Thanks.
01:19:20Mrs Smith?
01:19:22Just to get about today.
01:19:25Best all round, eh?
01:19:27You know what I mean?
01:19:28Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
01:19:30Come on.
01:19:31The face is great, but the boobs.
01:19:33Wow.
01:19:36See ya.
01:19:36Wait a minute.
01:19:37Wait a minute.
01:19:38Mr Smith?
01:19:38Mr Smith?
01:19:39Is that crazy lady with my husband, your wife?
01:19:44Yes.
01:19:45Well, why aren't you taking her home, then?
01:19:48I'm in no fit state.
01:19:50I've had a hell of a day.
01:19:52My wife, I just discovered he's a transvestite.
01:19:57Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
01:20:01Must have been a hell of a shock.
01:20:03Hell of a shock.
01:20:05And what about that other lady?
01:20:08That's my wife's partner, Bert.
01:20:11John?
01:20:17After you've taken Mrs Smith home, make sure you come straight back here, okay?
01:20:22Those days are over, Fred!
01:20:26Fred!
01:20:27Five years I've had to put up with him.
01:20:32Um, her.
01:20:34Um, um, him.
01:20:42What's all this paper?
01:20:45It's a messy cat.
01:20:54No, I'm afraid it's not all sorted, Mr Smith.
01:20:57Detective Sergeant Troughton wants to see you down here at the station at 9pm tonight.
01:21:03No, Mr Smith, sometime next week will not do.
01:21:08Mr Smith!
01:21:09Your bedtime.
01:21:11We'll have to wait.
01:21:18Have you seen this report of mine, eh?
01:21:22My super will shove it right up my jacksie.
01:21:25When questioned, Mrs Michelle Smith said the female reported to be present at the premises
01:21:30in Finsbury was a male transvestite called Fred.
01:21:33Mr Gardner could find no explanation as to why Stockwell police should think he was married
01:21:39to Michelle Smith.
01:21:40Miss Susan Browning, a friend of the family, acknowledged that she'd met Mr Smith and Mr Gardner
01:21:45at the Finsbury address, where they were residing as Bobby and Cyril.
01:21:50Mr Smith was seen diving from Mr Gardner's bedroom window.
01:21:53Mr Smith was seen devouring a copy of the London Evening Echo.
01:21:57Head struck by handbag, head struck by oak beam, head struck by taxi bonnet, farmer's cottage
01:22:02in Luton Airport.
01:22:03You tell lies, don't you, Mr Smith?
01:22:08Now, what's the bleeding game?
01:22:10You are up to something I know.
01:22:12What is it, eh?
01:22:14Drugs?
01:22:15Porno stuff?
01:22:17Illegal immigrants?
01:22:18Fake passports?
01:22:20Money laundering?
01:22:25You have two private addresses.
01:22:27Now, no more lies.
01:22:33Why?
01:22:38Okay.
01:22:41I've had a good run.
01:22:44I couldn't expect to get away with it forever.
01:22:49Mr Gardner and I,
01:22:53we're not gay.
01:22:56There's no farming, Luton.
01:22:58There's no transvestite called Fred.
01:23:02These were all made up to cover my guilty secret.
01:23:06The reason I have two homes is because
01:23:10I'm married to Michelle Smith
01:23:15and I live in Stockwell
01:23:17and at the same time,
01:23:19I'm married to Stephanie Smith
01:23:21and I live in Finsbury.
01:23:24that's it.
01:23:32I'm a bigamist.
01:23:33You lying bastard.
01:23:46Go on, get out.
01:23:48Well, I can go.
01:23:53Don't worry, though.
01:23:55Sooner or later,
01:23:56I'll get you.
01:23:57I'll get you.
01:24:04Might, though.
01:24:12Is that the truth, John?
01:24:15Hmm.
01:24:17It's a bit complicated.
01:24:20Hmm.
01:24:20So you only pretended to be gay
01:24:24to protect Gary?
01:24:27Hmm.
01:24:30Because while he was having it off
01:24:31with Bobby, Cyril and Fred,
01:24:34behind their backs,
01:24:35he was carrying on
01:24:35with those two police sergeants.
01:24:38Hmm.
01:24:43Yeah.
01:24:43I couldn't believe that of Gary.
01:24:48Hmm.
01:24:54Johnny?
01:24:56Hmm?
01:24:57That mad lady married
01:24:58to the other Mr. Smith.
01:25:02Yeah.
01:25:03Well,
01:25:04why did she call me Fred?
01:25:09She's mad, I suppose.
01:25:11And did you know
01:25:15she's a transvestite?
01:25:19No,
01:25:20I didn't, actually.
01:25:22And that other lady
01:25:24that was with her,
01:25:25that was her partner, Bert.
01:25:30And poor Mr. Smith.
01:25:33He only just found out today.
01:25:35Hmm.
01:25:41Johnnie,
01:25:44I need to tell you something.
01:25:48John,
01:25:49there's something you ought to know.
01:25:52I think I'm pregnant.
01:25:54Mm-hmm.
01:26:02Mm-hmm.
01:26:02Yeah.
01:26:07Mm-hmm.
01:26:08Yeah, yeah.
01:26:11Wake up.
01:26:12Life is complicated
01:26:14when you have a love time, too.
01:26:18Mm-hmm.
01:26:19Who knew
01:26:20you'd become a hero?
01:26:22Oh, now there is some talking to do.
01:26:26Hard to explain
01:26:27that you love them the same,
01:26:30so you live your life.
01:26:34Run,
01:26:35run for your wife.
01:26:37You'll mess up your life.
01:26:39If you double your trouble,
01:26:42then stride.
01:26:43So out of control,
01:26:45surrender your soul.
01:26:47It ain't fun when you run.
01:26:49Run,
01:26:50run for your wife.
01:26:52You'll mess up your life.
01:26:55If you double your trouble,
01:26:57then stride.
01:26:59So out of control,
01:27:01surrender your soul.
01:27:03It ain't fun when you run for your wife.
01:27:06Can't stop,
01:27:11gotta keep on moving.
01:27:14Get yourself ahead of the game.
01:27:18Tick-tock,
01:27:19time is running out now.
01:27:21You're the only one to blame.
01:27:25Hard to explain
01:27:27that you love them the same,
01:27:29so you live your life.
01:27:32Run,
01:27:34run for your wife.
01:27:36You'll mess up your life.
01:27:38If you double your trouble,
01:27:41then stride.
01:27:42So out of control,
01:27:44surrender your soul.
01:27:46It ain't fun when you run.
01:27:49Run,
01:27:50run for your wife.
01:27:52You'll mess up your life.
01:27:54If you double your trouble,
01:27:56then stride.
01:27:58So out of control,
01:28:00surrender your soul.
01:28:01It ain't fun when you run
01:28:04for your wife.
01:28:13Oh,
01:28:13oh,
01:28:14yeah.
01:28:20Hard to explain
01:28:22that you love them the same,
01:28:24so you live your life.
01:28:28Run,
01:28:29run for your wife.
01:28:31You'll mess up your life.
01:28:33If you double your trouble,
01:28:36then stride.
01:28:37So out of control,
01:28:39surrender your soul.
01:28:41It ain't fun when you run.
01:28:44Run,
01:28:45run for your wife.
01:28:47You'll mess up your life.
01:28:49If you double your trouble,
01:28:51then stride.
01:28:53So out of control,
01:28:55surrender your soul.
01:28:56It ain't fun when you run for your wife.
01:29:00Run,
01:29:00run for your wife.
01:29:02You'll mess up your life.
01:29:04If you double your trouble,
01:29:07then stride.
01:29:08I don't do this with anyone,
01:29:20Gary.
01:29:21Of course not.
01:29:23But I've never actually done it
01:29:24with a guy that sleeps with
01:29:26guys,
01:29:27girls,
01:29:27and transvestites.
01:29:29Versatile,
01:29:30Susie.
01:29:31That's me.
01:29:33Oh.
01:29:34Oh my god.
01:29:37Oh!
01:29:38Sorry.
01:29:40Gary!
01:29:42Ha ha ha ha.
01:29:44Oh.
01:29:45Oh.
01:29:45Oh.
01:29:45Like.
01:29:46Oh.
01:29:46Oh.
01:29:47Oh.
01:29:48Oh.
01:29:49Oh.
01:29:50Sorry.
01:29:53Oh.
01:29:53John.
01:29:54Oh.
01:29:56Oh.
01:29:57Oh.
01:29:57Oh.
01:29:58Oh.
01:29:58Oh.
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