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📺 S10E09 – Love & Marriage: Huntsville 📺
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00:00Previously on Love and Marriage Huntsville.
00:03I was told you left to go be there for your little grandbag.
00:06Let me tell you, your friend needs to keep my family's business
00:10out of her mother mouth.
00:13I have no intentions of saying anything about you
00:15that's negative whatsoever.
00:18Likewise.
00:18None.
00:19Yeah, and I feel that.
00:21Can we just end right there?
00:22And I feel that.
00:23I hope you know it's genuine.
00:26You know, it's torn.
00:27It's actually my godbrother.
00:28Trish has told me that he's interested
00:31and I might take him up on the offer.
00:33How do you feel about that?
00:34I mean, what can I say, right?
00:37I just hit the baby.
00:38You're being forthcoming, so I appreciate that
00:40and I bless that.
00:42Trish trying to hook up Destiny and Twan.
00:45Did you hit the baby?
00:47No, I didn't.
00:48Your relationship is with Ken.
00:49Y'all are the two adults.
00:51At the end of the day, you have to have
00:52a communicative relationship with that man.
00:55The key is y'all have a conversation with later.
00:57I'll take that one.
00:59This relationship, bro.
01:00I think ultimately, bro, I'm just fed up.
01:02If she doesn't get the help that she needs, I'm out.
01:05We keep it moving all day, all night, yeah.
01:12Ain't no stopping us.
01:14Drop that.
01:15We ain't stopping.
01:17You know, you know.
01:20We keep it moving.
01:25All day, all night, yeah.
01:28All day, all night, yeah.
01:34Ain't no stopping us.
01:37Yeah.
01:41Put it all in the vine just to get to the goal.
01:44Hearts out for the world like a UFO.
01:47Thought I would have never made it, but you ain't know.
01:49I can get it done in the way I can go.
01:51Ground.
01:54Up.
01:56Ground.
01:57Up.
01:58One more.
01:59Ground.
02:00Up.
02:01All right, keep going.
02:02Keep going.
02:06Come on.
02:07Push it.
02:07One more.
02:07Squeeze through the chest.
02:11Push it.
02:11Push it.
02:11Push it.
02:12Lock it.
02:13So I've been training Xavier for quite a while now,
02:19and I'm glad we're getting this session in,
02:20because there's been a lot of tension in the house,
02:22and I just want to know where he is mentally.
02:24If anything, I want to work on my leg more,
02:25get more muscle, especially on this leg,
02:28because this one's still kind of stronger.
02:30Than that leg?
02:31Yeah.
02:31So we can do legs together.
02:33I also want to do more core workouts.
02:36Obliques.
02:36You want some obliques?
02:37Yeah, what's my obliques?
02:38You even got a waist.
02:40What you mean?
02:41Your waist is about this small.
02:43I really eat time.
02:44Yeah, it is.
02:45Your waist is this small.
02:47Your body, it's like a Dorito.
02:49It's how your body is like a Dorito.
02:52You got to eat a lot of protein.
02:54That protein powder.
02:55I'm trying to eat more.
02:57Yeah, you got to eat more of the right stuff.
03:00You been okay?
03:01I'm feeling all right.
03:03Sure.
03:04Positive.
03:05Because you know, people say they're okay all the time.
03:08I do it all the time, and don't really be okay.
03:11So I just want to make sure you were okay.
03:15Like, we hadn't really sat down and talked about all the, really all the chaos that's
03:21been going on, but didn't get to see how you really felt.
03:26You know, it's honestly kind of a lot.
03:29I would say I've been trying to, I guess, distract myself more, is what I say.
03:39Distract yourself more for?
03:43Just not letting my, um, my thoughts go on the deep end, trying to focus.
03:53Trying to focus on my future.
03:55I don't want to be depressed, I guess, as in deep end.
04:00You know, I have probably, you know, I don't cry a lot, but probably have cried probably
04:05like twice.
04:05So when I mean deep end, I just don't want to be sad.
04:11I don't want to just stay sad.
04:13But it's been a lot of, uh, fighting.
04:16Not even just between you and dad, but also between you, Ken, too.
04:23Yeah.
04:24Yes, it has.
04:25Whole parenting with two narcissists will never be.
04:28Bro, y'all, you learn the narcissist's word and just.
04:30Bro, you're a bum.
04:32What?
04:32What do you say the bond are you in now?
04:33Oh, I'm sober.
04:34Are you sure?
04:35I'm positive.
04:36Because now you're feeling a bunch of bullshit.
04:38Trish, you should really be ashamed on how you doing my son and my daughter right now.
04:41How?
04:42Hey, hey, one and a half minute.
04:44One and a half minute.
04:45Get it, y'all.
04:46Get it.
04:46Get it.
04:46Stop.
04:47Oh, my gosh.
04:53Y'all got to be up.
04:57Um.
04:58Honestly, Ken's a cool guy.
05:00Ken is very nice, and I appreciate him for a lot of stuff.
05:04I know it's been hard for Ken, so I've been trying to, when I talk to him, I just be like,
05:08it's going to be good to stay positive.
05:11I don't know.
05:12I, honestly, I just hate to see people that, you know, I care about fight, say hurtful things,
05:18say mean things, really try to act like y'all hate each other, and I just, like, none of
05:24y'all, like, y'all don't, I hate each other, man.
05:27You know, I don't like, I don't like any of that.
05:30And you can, like I say, you're not the only one.
05:32I tell dad the same thing.
05:34Yeah.
05:35I mean, there's just some stuff you should just not be saying at all, and it does, that's
05:41it, that's the thing I try to distract myself from, because it really does hurt me.
05:45I do not like any negative words towards you.
05:49I don't like it towards my dad.
05:51I don't like any of that.
05:52So that's just been the only thing that's just been kind of eating at me.
05:57But at some point in time, I felt like I couldn't really talk to you.
06:03Yeah, see, that's crazy.
06:06Yeah.
06:06Really, all it takes is communication.
06:08Like, y'all, we need to just talk it through.
06:10Mm-hmm.
06:11I feel like Kent also is kind of going just through a little bit, because he's had to do a little bit, and...
06:18You're right, because we'd be already on edge, so it's just saying, I agree.
06:23You're right, son.
06:24You're definitely right.
06:25So hearing from Xavier that when Kent and I fight, it really hurts him, really bothers me and hurts me a lot, like a lot.
06:37So I feel like there's something I need to fix, something I need to do to make this family better to where it was in the beginning.
06:45So I think it's time Kent and I have a talk.
06:47I am going to do everything possible in my power to make sure we'll be able to back up and get back to our fun and happy selves.
06:54I'm going to always have your back.
06:56Yeah.
06:57Always.
07:00Thank you, man.
07:01You know, I always got your back, too.
07:03Don't even worry about it.
07:24My tight, my tight, my tight, my tight, my tight.
07:26This place is dusty.
07:29This thing is nasty.
07:33Look, oh, Lord, how massive good.
07:34What is you doing up there?
07:36You won't do it.
07:37I got to do it.
07:38Damn.
07:39You all up in there.
07:40I'm glad I got tops on it.
07:42How long have I been asking you to do this?
07:44Like, seriously.
07:45Please, please, please.
07:46Come on down.
07:47Jump down.
07:47You going to finish your formula?
07:49Yeah, I'll finish it.
07:50Come on, get you something to drink.
07:51Oh, you know what?
07:52You can hire my maid back.
07:55As usual, I have to do all the chores around the house.
08:00Why do we need to hire the housekeeper?
08:02I can do what the housekeeper does.
08:04You're not.
08:07What the hell you mean?
08:08I can.
08:09You're not a good.
08:09You are not a good replacement for the housekeeper.
08:13Oh, man.
08:14I heard my damn housekeeper back.
08:16This is nice.
08:18I can't stand in here with you in a minute.
08:20I know.
08:21So I was boxing with Twan and Lance.
08:25Apparently, I don't know, Destiny's interested in dating Twan.
08:31Wait a minute.
08:31Say what?
08:34You heard me.
08:36Get the out of here.
08:37You heard me.
08:38Nope.
08:39Lance's friend.
08:40Lance's friend.
08:41Yes.
08:42Destiny wants to date him.
08:43Mm-hmm.
08:44But I said I did have a problem with it.
08:48And then Lance was like, but why?
08:50I gave Destiny my blessing.
08:53The that's crazy to hear.
08:56I don't know how it transpired.
08:58Well, here's how I took it.
08:59I don't know what the hell Lance got going on with Destiny.
09:03But it's kind of, to me, it's almost like he feels a sense of, is it guilt?
09:09Is that the right word?
09:10Um, I wouldn't want to say guilt for him.
09:13Is that something really that Destiny wants to do?
09:16Or is Destiny pulling a, like, a page out of Martell's book?
09:22Like, being petty?
09:23You know what I'm saying?
09:24Oh, okay.
09:25So you're going to have a, you're going to go and have a child.
09:27You say you didn't know, but you're going to go have a child.
09:29Then I'm going to go date your friend.
09:30And, you know, that's petty bullsh**.
09:34So, yeah.
09:35Um, but anyway, I met with Destiny to see where we stand.
09:41Oh, her re-evaluating your relationship.
09:44Yeah, exactly.
09:45She felt some type of way about Letitia Scott telling her that I knew that Lance had a child on the way.
09:57Letitia told Destiny this?
09:59Yes.
10:02Letitia told Destiny that I knew Lance had a child on the way.
10:07And that's what I told her.
10:08Well, that's, that's not true.
10:10No.
10:12Got her damn nose somewhere it don't belong.
10:15Well, you know.
10:16And telling Destiny.
10:18It's Destiny's friend.
10:19Yeah, you're right.
10:20It is.
10:21Considering all the things that she said has been said about hers and she do not like,
10:27Letitia should know that talking about people's families is off limits.
10:33But, um, me and Destiny, we're good where we stand.
10:38And I think, I think we'll, I think we'll be okay.
10:41I just have to wait and see.
10:44You know, I said the same thing about me and Letitia.
10:46I thought we was going to be okay, but apparently she's still running that mouth.
10:48So, I don't really know who I'm okay with in this group, to be honest.
10:57Coming up on Love and Marriage Huntsville.
11:00I definitely need a person that can accept me for who I am.
11:03And I'm a lot of different people.
11:04For real?
11:05Yep.
11:06That's crazy.
11:08It's always how you feel, how the kids feel.
11:11Ain't nobody ever put in a conscience ever about, hey, how does Ken feel?
11:15Do you want to be here?
11:22Pretty girl swag.
11:26I got, I got pretty girl swag.
11:32I got, let's go.
11:35Made for it, made for it.
11:37I got pretty girl swag.
11:39Made for pretty girl swag.
11:41A table for two.
11:42Table for two.
11:43Today, I'm meeting Twan, who was my previous bodyguard for an event for a business luncheon.
11:49I'm very nervous.
11:51And that's not like me at all.
11:54Hello.
11:55How you doing, Ms. Destin?
11:56How you doing?
11:57How you doing?
11:58Doing all right.
11:58Good to see you.
11:59Good to see you, too.
11:59Good to see you.
12:00The whole point of this luncheon is for Twan to guard my body at events.
12:05So I invited you here because I wanted to talk business, first and foremost.
12:09Okay.
12:10I know some things have happened in life, and I feel like as I go to more events, I probably
12:15should have somebody there for security reasons.
12:18Sure enough.
12:19And I felt like you were very professional.
12:21Appreciate you.
12:22You did a great job.
12:23Guard my body.
12:26That's usually the plan.
12:29We step out there.
12:30Uh-huh.
12:30Definitely.
12:30Uh-huh.
12:31It was an interesting event, and it was this whole thing about me making googly eyes.
12:38Yeah, what was that about anyway?
12:39Did you feel like I was making googly eyes at you?
12:41Yeah, how do you make googly eyes?
12:42I don't know.
12:43I don't know.
12:43How you do that?
12:44It's like this right there.
12:45Not like that, I hope.
12:47We was vibing.
12:48It was a vibe.
12:49It was like, I'm there for you.
12:51I wasn't there for anybody else.
12:52So anytime you said something, I'm right there lockstep.
12:55So maybe it was me smiling.
12:57I have no idea.
12:58Why were you smiling?
13:00I mean, you're beautiful.
13:03So, you know what I mean?
13:04Well, thank you.
13:05I didn't think you were making googly eyes at me, but I mean, at the same time, I could be
13:09wrong.
13:09I don't know.
13:10I don't know.
13:10I don't know.
13:11What was that?
13:11I don't remember.
13:12I don't know.
13:12I don't know.
13:13I mean, I'm not blind.
13:16You are attractive.
13:17I appreciate you.
13:19I heard some things, and I don't know.
13:23About me?
13:24Trish has said something about you asked about me.
13:26I don't know if that's true or not.
13:28I don't remember talking to Trish.
13:30Maybe I may have said something.
13:32I don't know.
13:32I had a conversation with Lance, and I told him if you were interested that I might see
13:39what it is.
13:40And then he let me know that he was your godbrother.
13:43Yes, he is.
13:44I did not know that.
13:46That made that conversation very awkward.
13:50Yeah, but he was like, oh, I'll give you your blessing if it happens.
13:52I said, but it's been nothing but professional.
13:54So I don't even know if that's true.
13:56I'm just letting you know so you don't have to find out on the internet like I found out
13:58about your kid on the internet.
13:59No.
14:00Wow.
14:03It's kind of a...
14:04Well, I mean, it's just the truth.
14:05Nah, I feel you.
14:06I had to talk with him, too.
14:07Mm-hmm.
14:08How'd it go?
14:08You know, the conversation was interesting.
14:10I just told him, you know, we'll see.
14:12I told him that the conversation needed to be had kind of like now.
14:14Mm-hmm.
14:15So you talked to Lance.
14:17Did you talk to my mama?
14:19You say mama, that's like...
14:21I had to put her out there like that because I know that's probably how she just did.
14:25Your mama...
14:26If you did talk to her, I'm pretty sure she can.
14:27I did.
14:28Okay.
14:28I did talk to her and, you know, being before even the whole Lance situation, me and Nell
14:33have been like this.
14:35She had a little, you know, she felt a little way.
14:38What'd she say?
14:39What didn't she say?
14:41All right.
14:41You know how she is.
14:43I do.
14:43Mama pressed me to see if me and you had had sex.
14:48Huh?
14:48Yeah.
14:49Like, that was crazy.
14:51That lady be so out of line.
14:52This is ridiculous.
14:53Like, she need to quit worrying about people's sex life, first of all.
14:56We're by her and Chris.
15:00But I really think that friendship, building a friendship is important first.
15:04Because if I'm dating, I'm dating multiple people.
15:07Like, and again, that does not mean being intimate because people confuse that.
15:13Miss Nell being one of them.
15:15Does that bother you, dating other people?
15:17Nah.
15:17It's just, I know how I move.
15:19Like, building friendships and everything, that makes it a whole lot easier to deal with,
15:23you know, a woman possibly dating around or whatever.
15:26Somebody might ask you out.
15:27And I'm like, okay, cool.
15:30Yeah.
15:30I definitely need a person that can accept me for who I am.
15:34And I'm a lot of different people.
15:36That's crazy.
15:38It just turned into a horror movie.
15:40Just a thriller real quick.
15:41It's not a horror movie.
15:41Yeah.
15:42I'm pretty sure.
15:42Oh, I think, I mean, a man that is with a woman that can be different women is, that's exciting.
15:47Yeah.
15:48Oh, I'm just, to a certain extent.
15:51I mean, I'm not saying they all crazy.
15:53Maybe one of them.
15:54I don't know, man.
15:55It's like, as soon as your head started turning like them, I'm like, see?
15:59What I would like to do outside of business partners is build a friendship.
16:02This conversation, from the times I've actually done security with you and you seem like you're cool,
16:07who would have known I'd be sitting and talking to Destiny Paddy.
16:11Okay.
16:13Peyton, not Patton, but I'm going to give him a pass because I didn't even know what his name was at all for a long time.
16:19He was just a bodyguard.
16:23It's cool to get to know somebody I would have never even thought I would have had the chance to get to know.
16:29Did I tell you that you look nice?
16:32Yeah.
16:33I did?
16:33Did I tell you you look nice?
16:35You did.
16:35I did?
16:36Mm-hmm.
16:38Uh-huh.
16:41Coming up on Love & Marriage Huntsville.
16:47You know, I took your advice on, you know, Marceau.
16:50So we, um, said that we chatted a little bit.
16:53We don't deserve to be mistreated because we're having negative thoughts.
16:58I don't mistreat you or do anything wrong based off of what I've got going on in my brain
17:03or what somebody done did to me five, six, seven years ago.
17:06So Ken and I have been taking a little cool down since our last fight, just trying to keep our distance from each other to keep frustration down.
17:32For one, I hate to see my kids hurt.
17:34And to see Xavier hurt is like, wow, okay.
17:39Trisha, you got to do something.
17:40So I think it's time that I have a talk with Ken.
17:44Kenny!
17:50Yes, babe?
17:55Let's talk.
17:57What's going on?
17:59Let's talk about this issue we just had so we can get clarity on where it went left.
18:07Yeah, I definitely, I definitely think we need to have this conversation.
18:13These last few days been kind of...
18:15Stressful.
18:16Yeah.
18:17Definitely stressful.
18:18I know we talk about all the things I need to work on and this, this wall, it seems like I have built up.
18:25I don't think no true effort has been put into actually making the proper changes that we need for our relationship to go forward.
18:36I think just lingers around, we talk about it, it just lingers and lingers and lingers and two months done went past and ain't nothing happened.
18:44I ultimately have no control, and when I don't have no control over my life, I don't like that.
18:49Do you want to be here?
18:50I was actually wanting to leave.
18:59Like, it's been, it's just stressful.
19:01It's been that stressful for me.
19:03But at the end of the day, there has to be a change in regards to the way I feel, the way people treat me, the things that are said to me.
19:12Like, it's always how you feel, how the kids feel.
19:16Ain't nobody ever put in a conscience ever about, hey, how does Ken feel?
19:23When I'm angry, when I'm frustrated, when I'm mad, y'all still get the same amount of type of love.
19:28When you're frustrated, you're angry, and you're mad, y'all might not even eat that day.
19:33Y'all don't even, y'all won't even talk to me most of the time.
19:36And that sucks.
19:37And a lot of the times, don't be having nothing to do with me.
19:39I don't mistreat you or do anything wrong based off of what I've got going on in my brain or what somebody done did to me five, six, seven years ago.
19:49Ken, sometimes you will, you will reflect off the energy, like, like it does have something to do with you.
19:54And sometimes I just be quiet in a zone, just thinking about life.
19:58I don't even be having an attitude sometimes.
19:59Sometimes I just talk.
20:01But sometimes you will take it as an attitude.
20:03Bro, we been past that.
20:04I'm talking about the actual, when the actual anger does come out.
20:09When you're actually snapping at people, when you're, those are the moments where we have those disagreements.
20:14That's because the energy in the house has changed.
20:16Because of you.
20:16No.
20:17That's the thing.
20:17But sometimes it be just because I just be sitting there quiet.
20:20Okay.
20:20And then I come off, oh, oh, she's mad or something.
20:23No, I'm just thinking.
20:24We don't deserve to be mistreated because we're having negative thoughts.
20:30You know what I'm saying?
20:31I can't do that.
20:32So we have to be able to control our emotions.
20:35We have to be able to, even when we're having those emotions, be able to operate in them in a positive way.
20:41You know, I have to control our aggressions.
20:42So what do we, what, what, what happens from here?
20:49Because, like I said, even now, like right now, like we can't have, it's, we, it's, even in this conversation, it's showing that we can't have the conversation without it being a back and forth.
21:00I think a lot of the frustrations in our relationship stem from things that I have nothing to do with.
21:06And I think your personal trauma shouldn't be allowed to determine the way you treat other people.
21:11What fueled you to be like in the gym so heavy?
21:14Anger.
21:16I think I was mad at the world.
21:18I was mad at life.
21:19I was, you know, mad at life that was taken from me.
21:22Yeah, my mom and dad passed seven months apart.
21:24My sister passed in my hands.
21:27Zaria's sitting there watching me, trying to pump life into her.
21:30I'm trying to pump life into her.
21:32So it was, it was hard.
21:35Sorry.
21:36Trish.
21:37When I disappeared, I disappeared from the world.
21:40I think I disappeared from myself.
21:41I understand what Trish has went through in her past.
21:45And I'm trying so hard to kind of continue to be patient.
21:49But if she doesn't get the help and the proper therapy that she needs, yeah, it's probably definitely not going to work for us.
21:55Okay, so where do we start?
21:59What do, like, what steps do we need to take?
22:03It has to be some change.
22:06As far as, like, therapy.
22:10I mean, I think I've been pretty damn patient with this.
22:13It's been three years.
22:14But that's something that you have to take the lead on.
22:18I personally, man, I can't keep getting beat over the head for some I ain't do.
22:21I can't go another six months going through.
22:25If there's no actions taking place, it's not going to change.
22:29Coming up on Love and Marriage, Huntsville.
22:35I want to thank you for being willing to trust me, a total stranger, with the private parts of your life.
22:45Who is Trisha?
22:47I think I'm, I don't know, a very angry soul right now.
22:50There is a difference between an angry person and an angry soul.
22:54This is some good stuff.
23:16You like it now?
23:23Yeah, what are you up to?
23:24Trying to see what the kids are doing.
23:27Like, stuff they completed.
23:30Like, their work.
23:31And if it's on time.
23:32Some, uh, Lance Riley made it.
23:35Oh, my God.
23:36Yeah, I really don't want to go out there.
23:39I'm kind of like trying to let him do his thing.
23:41No, come on.
23:42Come on.
23:42Let's check it out and see what he doing.
23:43Because I'm sure there's some more to be done.
23:46And you might want to tell him why he has the guys here so they hear it and he hears it too.
23:50Lance has finally stopped by the daycare to squeeze his sweet mother in, get some work done.
23:56Considering that he's giving me a discount, I think that's why I get put on a back burner.
24:02I'm not paying for a price like, um, the rest of his customers.
24:09But he need to complete my job soon.
24:11I just want to make sure everything's going to be right.
24:14I want to make sure I'm going to have my trimming around here.
24:16I want to make sure you're going to paint that back blue.
24:18We'll wipe it down first, then paint it back blue.
24:21This is going to be sanded down really well.
24:24Run it smooth, of course.
24:25Right.
24:26And then paint it.
24:27How long is it going to take to actually get this done?
24:29This is taking me two full-on nights.
24:32I can't say days.
24:33Of course, we've got to work at night, right?
24:34Okay.
24:35Okay.
24:35So in two days, we'll knock this out.
24:38You need to step up here.
24:38What up?
24:39What up?
24:40What's up, Marty Marr?
24:40What's up, man?
24:41Now, where's the walls, baby?
24:42Get going here.
24:43I'm going to touch him.
24:43What's happening?
24:44I saw y'all cars out here.
24:45I saw them and stuff behind y'all.
24:47You working, too?
24:48I'm in here giving orders.
24:50You know, it's my business.
24:51Lance, well, you do everything.
24:52That's what I'm talking about.
24:53What you doing up here?
24:54What's happening?
24:55Ah, good scene.
24:56Popping up over at the investment property?
24:58Oh, I thought maybe, you know.
24:59Oh, you and Marso have been acting.
25:01I thought maybe you wanted to come by this daycare.
25:04Well, he and me right here behind me, then.
25:07How's it going for you, the investment property?
25:09Moving my old lady in there.
25:10Oh, okay.
25:11So Arion gonna move in?
25:13Yeah, her and the kids, yeah.
25:14Okay.
25:15Yeah.
25:16All right.
25:16Yeah.
25:17So you ain't making no profit or nothing?
25:20No.
25:21You ain't making no profit.
25:22You got Arion in there.
25:23Oh, well, hey, really, because I've been paying that rent forever.
25:29I ain't got no mortgage.
25:31Oh, so you paying the rent where she at now?
25:34Uh, yeah.
25:34Oh, hell yeah.
25:35Move her ass in.
25:36I said I'm winning, winning right now.
25:38God dang it.
25:39Yeah.
25:40Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
25:41Yeah.
25:41I'm gonna get in here with my team.
25:43Look.
25:43I finished my work first.
25:44That's why I'm here.
25:46You know, I took your advice on me doing Marso.
25:49So we said that with Chad a little bit.
25:51Yeah, man.
25:52Was it like a...
25:54We came to...
25:55Positive?
25:56Very positive.
25:57You know, he tried to do a lot of talking, but I think that was the first time I ever out-talked him.
26:04Oh, really?
26:05Whoa.
26:06Damn.
26:07Really?
26:07I out-talked him.
26:08Did you have a drink?
26:09I did not.
26:10He was over there trying to look pretty with a cigar.
26:13I was straight there just...
26:14You look pretty?
26:15Yeah, he tried, but...
26:17But at the end, you know, we came to an agreement.
26:20We don't talk negative about each other, nor are significant others.
26:25So that's the agreement we got, you know?
26:29Um, I mean, I guess as time progressed, we'll just see how the relationship builds, though.
26:34You know what I'm saying?
26:34That's the agreement.
26:35That's a hell of a agreement.
26:37No, I mean, it's doable.
26:39But that's just between you and Marso, right?
26:42I can see that.
26:42Yeah, Arion and Latisha haven't talked.
26:45They haven't...
26:46It's gonna...
26:47Females are different.
26:48That's what I'm saying.
26:49Hey, it is.
26:49So my thing is, hopefully Marso and I will be able to see eye to eye.
26:53Eye to eye, yes.
26:54And if or when Latisha and Arion do talk, I mean, if they do have their words, we're there
27:00to, you know...
27:01Diffuse the situation.
27:02Yeah, diffuse it and calm them down, you know?
27:04But that's good.
27:05Y'all did come to a happy medium, I would say.
27:08Yeah, yeah.
27:09So to hear that Martell has made up with the Scots, um, it's very huge.
27:15I know because I've had my problems with them, and they all are stubborn as hell, even Martell.
27:22So for me, I'm pretty impressed.
27:24If that's the case, then I feel like maybe we should do something else.
27:28Get the group together.
27:29Something to maybe have some fun.
27:31Some fun activities.
27:32No, so we don't want to start no more drama.
27:35So I'm happy that, you know, Marso and I, that we're okay.
27:39But, you know, there's a lot of issues still going on amongst the group.
27:43Ken, his old lady, Neal, and Tisha.
27:47I'm just happy they need you.
27:49Play some adult games, some type of adult games or something.
27:51Adult games as in sexual type?
27:53Not that kind.
27:54Regular games, you know, type of...
27:57Yeah, a car game or...
27:58Oh, okay, okay.
27:59There's nothing too challenging that's going to get people all riled up, you know?
28:01It's just fun.
28:02Some people have a lot of fun.
28:04Well, I'm about to get up out of here.
28:06And I guess I'll be seeing y'all at game night.
28:08Game night?
28:09Y'all put it on.
28:10It's going to be sooner than later.
28:10Oh, we'll put it...
28:11Yeah, we're going to do it.
28:12For sure, for sure.
28:12I'm going to do it.
28:13Give me a hug.
28:13All right.
28:14Are you going to talk to Tisha?
28:17About what?
28:18Whatever y'all got going on.
28:20I ain't got going on.
28:21That's just the name.
28:22It's just her?
28:22The only thing I said is she need to keep my name out of her mouth.
28:25That's the same thing that I've been tripping on, too.
28:28Five years.
28:29Martel has actually made up with Marceau,
28:33and they both pretty damn messy.
28:37So now we just have to see what happens next.
28:40You ain't talking about your s***, you ain't talking about mine.
28:42That's real easy.
28:44That's very easy.
28:45Don't be scared to put your s*** out there.
28:46Exactly.
28:47Because if you don't, I am.
28:49Exactly.
28:49Side chick number two coming.
28:51Tell you if y'all want to.
28:52Coming up on Love and Marry's Huntsville.
28:56Do you know it takes strength to grieve?
28:59And if you don't do your grief work,
29:00people who are dependent on you,
29:02and they don't get the opportunity to get close to you.
29:06I don't want to get close to people when we lose them.
29:22I don't like resurfacing any pain, anger, sadness, thoughts, memories,
29:36any of that.
29:36I just like to keep it bottled up.
29:39But I do recognize that there are things that I need to fix
29:44when I get angry,
29:45because that's a pattern I want to break.
29:51Good evening.
29:53Good evening.
29:53Welcome.
29:55Thanks.
29:56You look a little bit shaken there,
29:58but it's going to be all right.
29:59Please have a seat right over here, okay?
30:01Okay.
30:03Oh.
30:04My name is Kitson Francis.
30:06I'm Trisha.
30:07Trisha.
30:07I want to thank you for being willing to trust me,
30:13a total stranger,
30:15with the private parts of your life, you know?
30:19And we're going to work our way through this, all right?
30:23Where would you like to start?
30:25I just feel like the last...
30:28You feel like...
30:29The last 10, 12 years' life has just been a rollercoaster going down.
30:37How would you describe this emotional rollercoaster?
30:43I think it all started when I lost my parents and my sister.
30:49First, it was...
30:51I don't know.
30:53I was just angry with life,
30:55because family kind of fell apart.
30:59We were very, very close.
31:02The whole family...
31:03Well, when they were here.
31:05How many siblings do you have?
31:12It's five of us.
31:14Five?
31:14Out of all people who are left,
31:18who's the leader?
31:19I would say me.
31:25I don't know.
31:25I guess I think all of us felt lost.
31:30All of us felt lost when?
31:32When we lost my dad.
31:34It was like we...
31:36I don't know.
31:37It was like we lost our drill sergeant.
31:39You lost your drill sergeant.
31:41It was...
31:42But, you know, but...
31:43But, Chesh, you know...
31:44You know, drill sergeants are not always nice, though.
31:46They take care of it at 5 o'clock in the morning.
31:48They do all kind of things.
31:49Well, he was.
31:50He did.
31:50He did.
31:51He was retired military.
31:53Oh!
31:54He was our everything.
31:57And how close were you to your dad?
31:58Well...
32:05Very.
32:09Very?
32:10My dad was actually my best friend.
32:12Are you like your dad?
32:16I try to be.
32:17I always wanted to be like that guy.
32:19I think we all did.
32:21What if I told you that you succeeded in that, doing that?
32:25As much as I love my dad,
32:26I think a part of my anger
32:30comes from him, too.
32:35Are you willing to talk about that part?
32:39I feel like
32:40he tried to teach us all these rules in life
32:45and how to be great people
32:50and represent him in the world
32:56and everything.
32:58It's just...
32:59I didn't understand until I got older
33:02and do as I say and not as I do.
33:05He didn't follow what he was trying to teach us
33:08and tell us.
33:10Otherwise, he would still be here.
33:12Oh, he didn't follow through.
33:15It angers me sometimes.
33:17How did you let him know you were angry?
33:18I didn't...
33:20I didn't process all of it until he was gone.
33:26Like, why didn't you...
33:28I don't know.
33:33If you knew that while he was alive,
33:36did you ask him then?
33:39No, but I would have.
33:40I didn't think about it then.
33:42How are you feeling about you not asking him then
33:45as you're sitting right here?
33:48It's part of failure that I think about.
33:51Part of failure?
33:55So what does it feel like then
33:57for you to be the one that they are dependent on?
34:00I'm okay with it.
34:09It's just...
34:11I'm okay with being strong for everyone.
34:15It's...
34:16I think I'm...
34:17I don't know.
34:17I'm a very angry soul right now.
34:19You're angry?
34:20My grief turns to anger.
34:22That's the problem.
34:23When your grief turns to anger,
34:25what do you do with the anger?
34:26Where do you put it?
34:27How do you act it out?
34:28I go to the gym.
34:29And when you go to the gym...
34:31I redirect my pain.
34:34You redirect your pain?
34:35From mental to physical.
34:37From mental to physical.
34:39So how many days do you go to the gym?
34:41Every day.
34:42Every day.
34:43Ooh.
34:44So...
34:45So when you're done at the gym,
34:48how do you feel?
34:51Exhausted.
34:52Tired sometimes.
34:54And then you either go back to it in the morning
34:56or you take it home with you.
34:58Which one do you do?
34:59Sometimes it comes back home with you.
35:05It comes back home with you.
35:07You know why it comes back home with you?
35:09Because there is a difference between externalizing,
35:12putting something out, touching things,
35:14moving some ways.
35:17But it's always here.
35:21So you really don't leave it at the gym.
35:24What you do is to go act out your bitterness at the gym.
35:28And because the gym does not have a way of arguing with you,
35:33it's a safe place for you to act out this anger.
35:40There is a difference between an angry person and an angry soul.
35:45Why?
35:46Because a person can be anything out here,
35:48but your soul is like right inside of here.
35:52And this is where your anger is like,
35:54right inside of here.
35:55And so, let's go ahead and just take your time.
36:02There is a difference between an angry person, an angry soul, and a soul.
36:10There is a difference between an angry soul, and a soul.
36:31Let's go ahead and just take your time.
36:32Let's go ahead and just take your time.
37:03And that's what we're looking for.
37:05I know.
37:06I guess life happens.
37:08It's a lot.
37:10Do you know it takes strength to breathe?
37:15It also requires you to get in touch with.
37:19Not just your strength, but your weakness.
37:23Not you.
37:25The strength and weakness is saying,
37:29I know who I am.
37:31i want to do something
37:33i don't have the strength to do it
37:36so i need a spotter
37:37so you're in the gym right
37:39and you want to increase your strength
37:42and your power
37:43you need a spotter
37:45they help you out in case
37:48you can't lift it
37:49well i thought i had a spotter
37:52he didn't turn out to be a spotter
37:54he turned out
37:56to be a part of the lost pain
37:58and the grief
37:58my spotter was supposed to be
38:01my ex marquez
38:03but obviously he let the weights fall on me
38:06so
38:08i just tend to just
38:10try it on my own
38:12and if you don't do your grief work
38:14people who are dependent on you
38:15to see your humane side
38:19that soft side
38:20if people never get to see that
38:22they have a picture of you
38:23and then when they don't help you
38:25and they because they think they don't have to
38:27you might go away thinking that people don't help you
38:30why were you created that
38:31and they don't get the opportunity to get close to you
38:34yeah i don't like getting close to people
38:38you don't like getting close to people
38:39i don't like to deal with
38:42i don't want to get close to people and lose them
38:44yes the degree of attachment that you have with a person
38:50will determine the degree of loss and pain you go through when they are no longer available
38:56and you just basically came all the way back around and said yes
39:00that's what it is
39:01it's definitely harder opening up in my relationship now
39:07it's because i don't know i guess i just lost that trust in people
39:11and here is the big thing that i'm going to ask you to do
39:16if you can accomplish this
39:17you would have accomplished a whole lot
39:19it's very simple
39:20it's going to require you
39:23to trust yourself
39:26to trust
39:28somebody that you are emotionally close to
39:32we're going to have to have some role reversal right here
39:37so that they can
39:38or you will allow them to take care of you
39:41then you will begin to see
39:44the strength
39:47that lies in
39:49what you think is weakness
39:52you're being very strong right now
39:57when you don't have to be
39:59maybe i don't know
40:01so dr francis suggests that i allow more people to support me more
40:06maybe if i learn to lean on ken and my family instead of doing it all by myself
40:11i'll be less likely to lash out and be angry at everyone
40:15but it's hard when i'm so used to helping and not receiving the help
40:19thank you
40:20for you to trust me with all of as much as you did
40:26it was hard
40:27it was hard
40:29next on love and marriage hunt skill
40:33ken he moved he stepped away for a little while
40:36i hope that you trying to be more vulnerable with him
40:41destiny said you said keep my mean out of your mouth
40:47said that
40:48hello
40:51hello
40:52what the
40:55so nel why did you guys leave la early
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