- 2 days ago
An attractive young couple's open relationship is stretched to the breaking point when each partner finds themselves falling in love with other people.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00WAKE UP!
00:00:20WAKE UP!
00:00:22WAKE UP!
00:00:34I love that.
00:00:38Look at that.
00:00:40What's up with that?
00:00:44Hey, hey, hey!
00:00:48You gotta eat or at least have something.
00:00:54Seriously.
00:00:56Love you.
00:00:58Bye.
00:01:00I'll be right behind you.
00:01:20How did we lose our way?
00:01:24The most of the way we've seen for us is that way.
00:01:28There's dead on my hands from tears.
00:01:32The whole that has grown between us.
00:01:36But these two girls have great hair and great teeth.
00:01:46And it's a good family.
00:01:48And these are two of the luckiest people you've ever seen sitting right in front of you.
00:01:52To Luke and Allison.
00:01:58Yes.
00:02:00How do you follow that?
00:02:04An ancient Celtic wedding ritual involved tying the bride and groom's wrists together while they each took turns reciting vows to be engaged for exactly a year and a day.
00:02:16And at the end of this year and a day promise, they can choose to part without obligation or they can choose to repeat their vows and spend eternity together.
00:02:26Because this ceremony involves tying the bride and groom's wrists together, that's where the term tying the knot comes from.
00:02:32After Mason introduced Luke to my little sister, I knew they didn't need a year and a day.
00:02:38From the first moment they met, they knew that they would spend eternity together.
00:02:42So, I love you guys.
00:02:46Congratulations.
00:02:48To Luke and Allison.
00:02:56Oh, my goodness.
00:02:58Oh, my goodness.
00:03:00I'm Mary.
00:03:02Come here.
00:03:03Come here.
00:03:04Come here.
00:03:05Okay.
00:03:06Okay.
00:03:07She's mine.
00:03:08I will take care of her.
00:03:09Walk up the stairs safely.
00:03:11I will.
00:03:12I know you.
00:03:13Bye.
00:03:14Goodnight.
00:03:15All right, everybody.
00:03:20It's getting to be that time.
00:03:22The open bar will be closing soon.
00:03:23Take advantage while you still can.
00:03:25Only a couple more songs left so get out there and party down.
00:03:28Let's go, Dan. Come on, come on, come on.
00:03:39Why aren't you with your friends?
00:03:41Do you want to dance with some of those eligible bachelors?
00:03:45Oh, yeah, they're mine.
00:03:49I think they're out of my league.
00:03:52So why aren't you dancing with your girlfriend?
00:03:56I don't dance.
00:03:58Then I need another drink.
00:04:14Hey.
00:04:15Hey.
00:04:16How's it going?
00:04:17Oh, it's all right.
00:04:19I've been trying to talk to this girl all night.
00:04:22Yeah? What are you waiting for? Just go make fun of her. Girls love that shit.
00:04:25You're serious?
00:04:28Yeah. Go do it.
00:04:36Excuse me, miss. I'm gonna have to scorch you up to the dance floor.
00:04:41There's been too many reports of your terrible dancing.
00:04:44Um, what?
00:04:48Where's your date?
00:04:49Oh, um, I think I got dumped.
00:04:55That's terrible.
00:04:57Absolutely terrible.
00:04:58Ladies and gentlemen, let's slow it down one final time. Our last song of the evening, last chance for romance. Congratulations, Luke and Alison. Good night, everybody.
00:05:11Woo!
00:05:12moon th calming
00:05:13ooh
00:05:14who crossed, Mohan went swimming
00:05:15and I'm here for about 17 months,
00:05:16I think it'll be higher.
00:05:17Hi, boys!
00:05:18Woo!
00:05:20Whoa!
00:05:21Woo!
00:05:22Woo!
00:05:24Woo!
00:05:27Woo!
00:05:29Woo!
00:05:30Woo!
00:05:32Come and go!
00:05:33Whoa!
00:05:34Woo!
00:05:35One, two, three!
00:05:39One, two, three!
00:05:43Oh, shit!
00:05:45Oh, my God!
00:05:55What are you doing?
00:05:56Get in.
00:05:58You guys have cooties.
00:06:00You've tainted the water.
00:06:01Oh, whatever.
00:06:04Whoo!
00:06:06It's good.
00:06:08Now I gotta go get a refill.
00:06:10Well, get the whole bottle.
00:06:12No, no, you guys better know.
00:06:14Did I stutter, Mr. Mason?
00:06:16I said get a whole bottle!
00:06:18Now!
00:06:19All right.
00:06:20Jesus.
00:06:28Jesus.
00:06:30I can't believe you're here.
00:06:34You smell like a man.
00:06:40So do you.
00:06:42It's my new fragrance.
00:06:44It's champagne and sweat.
00:06:46I like it.
00:06:48I like it.
00:06:49I like it.
00:06:58Upstairs.
00:07:00I'm in.
00:07:01I'm in.
00:07:02But there's all thatrĂĄn
00:07:04on the correcting board
00:07:06And,…
00:07:07I just remember where I feel like it's more
00:07:10…
00:07:30Thanks.
00:07:38Come on. Hot tub tub.
00:07:52Well, are you going to join me or just watch?
00:08:00Oh my god, are you crazy? What are you doing?
00:08:08Nice man.
00:08:21This is fucking ridiculous.
00:08:23What's wrong? Are you too old to have fun?
00:08:30Let me help ya.
00:08:37Well, you're not really trying.
00:08:41What you have to do is
00:08:44gently grab the fabric and carefully comb it.
00:08:57It's pretty clean.
00:09:01Well, I give up.
00:09:06Won't your girlfriend be mad that you're in a hot tub with an 18-year-old?
00:09:09Oh, hey.
00:09:10Okay.
00:09:11Well, it's getting room.
00:09:12I can't even do this at all.
00:09:13You gotta pull the thing. It's very expensive.
00:09:15I can't even do this at all.
00:09:16I can't even do this at all.
00:09:17I can't even do this at all.
00:09:18You gotta pull the thing. It's very expensive.
00:09:21I can't even do this at all.
00:09:22Can I tell you a secret?
00:09:26I've got to pull the thing, it's very expensive.
00:09:44Can I tell you a secret?
00:09:47Sure.
00:09:51I've had a crush on you since I was nine.
00:09:56Tell me that you love me late.
00:10:10Six. I'm so cute at six. I'm so cute at six.
00:10:14Hello. How's the book coming, Cupcake?
00:10:17I thought you're on your honeymoon, you're not supposed to be talking about work.
00:10:21Yeah, honeymoon's awesome. I'm just going to make sure you're going to hit the deadline,
00:10:24because the publisher's been hounding me.
00:10:26Okay, you know what? I'm just going to figure one last thing out.
00:10:28Good book. Have fun.
00:10:30Relax, and stop calling me.
00:10:32Say, you have fun at the wedding?
00:10:35Did you hook up with any chicks?
00:10:37I wish. Sam hooked up with some old boyfriend from college.
00:10:40Dude, I don't know how...
00:10:42Whatever, whatever works for you guys. That shit wouldn't work for me.
00:10:45I get pissed when some guy even looks at Allie.
00:10:47Yeah, well, we just don't see it like that.
00:10:49Who was it?
00:10:50Was it that guy who came with the...
00:10:52What's her name? The blonde one? Brooke?
00:10:54Yeah, that's Bill.
00:10:56By the way, that chick and Bill are totally fucking.
00:10:58Yeah, does Allie know about that? Shelly's like her best friend, right?
00:11:01Well, Bill said...
00:11:02I can't say anything, so...
00:11:03Whatever.
00:11:04Britt's not going to last. You know Bill.
00:11:06All right, look. Go hang out with your wife, all right?
00:11:08Man, I can't believe you didn't get any pussy.
00:11:10Goodbye.
00:11:14And?
00:11:15How did the gowns look?
00:11:17Bet everyone died when they heard you made them all yourself.
00:11:22Everyone said they looked great.
00:11:25It was pretty much the only reason to go.
00:11:27It was like my spring show.
00:11:29And your only sister was getting married, but whatever.
00:11:37Hello?
00:11:38Hello?
00:11:41Hi.
00:11:44No, I'm just surprised you called.
00:11:48Uh...
00:11:49Me too.
00:11:52Friday.
00:11:55Okay.
00:11:57Okay.
00:11:59Bye.
00:12:02I just got asked out.
00:12:04By who?
00:12:05My old college boyfriend.
00:12:09Wait, what's Mason gonna think?
00:12:17Boner Baxter asked you out?
00:12:19Oh, my God. Stop calling him that.
00:12:22What'd you tell him?
00:12:24I told him yes.
00:12:26I don't know.
00:12:28What do you think?
00:12:30Go out with him.
00:12:31Really?
00:12:32Yeah.
00:12:33It's not a big deal.
00:12:34I've been out on dates.
00:12:35I went out with that girl Sarah.
00:12:36You liked her.
00:12:37She was hot.
00:12:38Yeah, but she wasn't your ex-girlfriend.
00:12:42Don't go out with him then.
00:12:46Do you want to go?
00:12:48Yeah, kind of.
00:12:50Then go.
00:12:51I love you.
00:12:53I love you.
00:12:55I love you.
00:12:56I love you.
00:12:59What is this?
00:13:03Maggots.
00:13:11Jesus!
00:13:13I guess you're not the superior sibling anymore, huh?
00:13:15Oh, Jesus.
00:13:18And now I'm gonna puke.
00:13:21Oh, my God.
00:13:25I'm sorry.
00:13:26Come on.
00:13:29Can you believe me?
00:13:30I was hunting for one of us.
00:13:31Okay.
00:13:32Okay.
00:13:35I mean, look at those monsters.
00:13:37Can you even imagine?
00:13:39I guess you're used to dealing with kids since Mason acts like one all the time.
00:13:43Isn't that why you wanted to get married?
00:13:44To have a family unit?
00:13:47Okay, that and the consistent booty.
00:13:49Speaking of which, what was James Baxter doing at my wedding?
00:13:53A little awkward?
00:13:54You didn't talk to him, did you?
00:13:56I did.
00:13:57A little bit.
00:13:58He seems to be okay, though.
00:13:59Well, he looks surprisingly good.
00:14:01Is Brooke dating him?
00:14:03I don't know.
00:14:04Why do you care?
00:14:05I don't know.
00:14:06Maybe I'm obsessed.
00:14:07Oh, James Baxter.
00:14:08He's surprisingly good.
00:14:09Oh, he's so dreamy.
00:14:10Oh, my name's Allison.
00:14:11Sure.
00:14:12I'm in love with James Baxter.
00:14:13Oh, yeah.
00:14:14I just wanna kiss him, Baxter.
00:14:15Oh, yeah.
00:14:16My name's Allison.
00:14:17I wanna have sex with you.
00:14:18Okay, okay.
00:14:19Goodbye.
00:14:20Goodbye.
00:14:32They're late.
00:14:33I'm sorry.
00:14:34You look beautiful.
00:14:35Would you miss me?
00:14:36Maybe.
00:14:37On the other wall, there are gonna be some collections from other local designers, but in the middle,
00:14:45I'm gonna have pieces from other lines that really go with the aesthetics of the boutique.
00:14:49So that's my plan.
00:14:50I'm sorry.
00:14:51I'm totally rambling.
00:14:52I'm totally rambling.
00:14:53No, no.
00:14:54I love it.
00:14:55It makes my job seem boring in comparison.
00:14:56No, it's not.
00:14:57I think that real estate development is totally...
00:15:00Boring.
00:15:01No, I...
00:15:02Well, if by boring you mean awesome, then high five.
00:15:05So high five.
00:15:06Wow.
00:15:07At least I know that you're still a dork.
00:15:11You're just jealous of my awesome job.
00:15:13Yeah, I just, um, I never thought that you'd actually grow up and get a career.
00:15:19Yeah, well, I would've dumped me too.
00:15:26Look, um, James, I have to tell you something.
00:15:34Okay.
00:15:36I'm sort of in a relationship.
00:15:40Um...
00:15:41It's not what you think.
00:15:43It's, um, he knows about us.
00:15:46Or about this.
00:15:47He knows about us.
00:15:48What...
00:15:49What do you mean?
00:15:50I mean, Mason and I kind of...
00:15:53have an open relationship, I guess.
00:15:58Nice fair!
00:16:07Bullshit!
00:16:08You clearly don't play European bowling.
00:16:21Mason Michael Fish.
00:16:23This is Olivia.
00:16:24Hi.
00:16:25Yeah, hi, Olivia.
00:16:27How are you doing this lovely evening?
00:16:29Fine.
00:16:33Uh, Olivia?
00:16:34Is that, is that you?
00:16:35Are you in love with me?
00:16:36No.
00:16:39Who are you guys talking to?
00:16:41Oh, hi, Mason.
00:16:42This is Olivia.
00:16:43Listen, I'm totally in love with you and I'm gonna have all your babies if you wanna get
00:16:46started.
00:16:49Okay, gotta go.
00:16:50See you tonight.
00:16:51Who was on the phone?
00:16:52Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:16:57It's not like I'm a sex maniac.
00:16:59I mean, when I was with you I was attracted to other people.
00:17:02I just didn't act on it.
00:17:03Well that's good.
00:17:04We had enough problems as it was.
00:17:07It's not a problem.
00:17:08It's totally natural to be attracted to other people.
00:17:11Okay, so...
00:17:13You're single, but you have a boyfriend.
00:17:16a boyfriend? Yeah, sort of. Okay, so do you two still have sex? Yeah, of course. I guess I'm a little
00:17:31more traditional than I thought. Guess who just called me? My hot tub girlfriend. Or actually
00:17:43it was her friends. But anyway, I was just calling. I was hoping you would pick up and tell me
00:17:48what to do. But you're not answering. So anyway, I love you. Bye.
00:17:59Can you have you come out and play?
00:18:06A few years ago, I was in New Orleans with some girlfriends. And we were drinking and
00:18:11dancing and going crazy. And there was this really cute guy, and he was dancing with me
00:18:17all night. And we were outside, and it started raining. Everybody was scrambling for cover.
00:18:25Hello, Sean. And this guy looks me straight in the eye, and he bent down to kiss me. And
00:18:33I totally freaked out because I had a boyfriend. And I left. I went to find my girlfriend.
00:18:41Later on that night, I got a call from Mason, and he told me that he just hooked up with
00:18:46our friend Valerie. So what did you do?
00:18:50It was hard. We were really confused.
00:18:53I was upset. I didn't know if we should break up or not.
00:18:56But then I didn't know if I was just more upset that I didn't kiss that guy in New Orleans.
00:19:03So after I came home, we talked, and we fought, and we cried, and we stayed up all night.
00:19:10And we realized that we were going to stay together and not break up and just see what
00:19:15happens. You know, and just be honest with each other about how we feel and what we do.
00:19:23So how's it?
00:19:26So you told him about us, about our night of passion?
00:19:33Yes. Yes, it's all about being honest.
00:19:37In detail? Like, about what?
00:19:40I told him you were good-sized.
00:19:45Don't you get jealous when he hooks up with other girls?
00:19:49Not really. Not if he tells me about it.
00:19:52You're jealous with me.
00:19:54I know.
00:19:54I just feel like I've grown up a lot, and being jealous was just, uh, being insecure.
00:20:07Well, I'm definitely not insecure, but I still get jealous.
00:20:12I mean, it's human nature.
00:20:14There's nothing wrong with that. I just don't feel that way.
00:20:21Maybe you're just afraid of being alone.
00:20:26Isn't everybody?
00:20:27I just ignore it.
00:20:42I don't know what you've heard of.
00:20:44But I'm just kidding.
00:20:47I don't know if I can't wait right now.
00:20:49Am I okay right now?
00:20:49I don't know if I can't wait.
00:20:52I don't know if I can't wait right now.
00:20:52I can't wait right now.
00:20:53I'm not a partner.
00:20:59What?
00:21:01It's probably your boyfriend calling.
00:21:03It could be my sister.
00:21:05This feels like, um, wife swapping.
00:21:08Something.
00:21:10We're just friends. We're having a good time.
00:21:12It's not a big deal.
00:21:13Yeah, well, apparently I'm too insecure
00:21:15to, uh, share you with somebody else.
00:21:18Maybe I...
00:21:20Maybe I'll call you when I grow up.
00:21:23Have a nice evening, Samantha.
00:21:28Very... enlightening.
00:21:34Enjoy yourself.
00:21:43Oh, shit.
00:21:53Mason!
00:21:56Hey, you got my message.
00:21:58Fuck you! Get in the car!
00:22:01Get in the fucking car!
00:22:04Get in the car now.
00:22:07Get off! You're fucking out of your mind!
00:22:10What are you so riled up about?
00:22:12You're getting tested.
00:22:13What for?
00:22:14You slept with that girl.
00:22:16You didn't use protection.
00:22:17You're getting tested!
00:22:21I told you about that.
00:22:23You are so annoying with your girl.
00:22:25She's only like 19.
00:22:27She's barely had sex with anybody.
00:22:28Oh, yay!
00:22:29Okay?
00:22:30You're getting tested.
00:22:31Yeah, I love getting tested.
00:22:32Yeah, I love getting tested.
00:22:34Well, the river is deep and the river is wide.
00:22:41And the girl that I love is on the other side.
00:22:47She wants to move to Kansas City.
00:22:50Move to Kansas City.
00:22:53Move pretty crazy when the sky is so blue.
00:23:08It's not like I told him I was into golden showers
00:23:11and ass munching and furries and crap like that.
00:23:16Wow.
00:23:17You need to call him.
00:23:19I can't call him.
00:23:21He thinks I'm a crazy hippie or something.
00:23:23No, no, no.
00:23:24It's one thing I know.
00:23:25It's how guys think.
00:23:26If he actually hated you, he would have stayed,
00:23:28gotten some, and then left.
00:23:31Look, the fact that he took off before sealing the deal
00:23:33proves that he likes you.
00:23:35Awesome.
00:23:36Girl, I know you want to call him.
00:23:39Let him know things aren't so weird.
00:23:42Oh, no.
00:23:43Come on.
00:23:44It's not like you can make it any worse.
00:23:47Pick up the phone.
00:23:49I will.
00:23:50Now.
00:23:53Okay.
00:23:56Okay.
00:23:59Come on.
00:24:00Give him a call.
00:24:02Here.
00:24:03Wait.
00:24:04Just don't say this.
00:24:05I already had talk.
00:24:06Hey.
00:24:07Hi, James.
00:24:10It's a voicemail.
00:24:13Hey, James.
00:24:14It's Sam.
00:24:15I was just calling to say hi and sorry for, you know, if you felt weird the other night.
00:24:24But if you want to come to the art walk this weekend, I don't know if you're going already.
00:24:30But if you're not, you can come with us.
00:24:33And no big deal.
00:24:35Just call me back.
00:24:36And, uh, cool.
00:24:37Talk to you later.
00:24:38Bye.
00:24:39Say hello.
00:24:41That sucked.
00:24:42That was good.
00:24:43Okay.
00:24:44And it wasn't so tough.
00:24:45How was it?
00:24:47I hate you.
00:24:49You love me.
00:24:51So you're really into golden showers?
00:24:53I'm not.
00:24:54Are you into golden showers?
00:24:55Maybe.
00:24:57Gross.
00:24:58You serious?
00:24:59What God gave us is okay.
00:25:01By me.
00:25:02That's from Jesus.
00:25:04And she thought as me.
00:25:06And I thought as her.
00:25:08And she and I asked with hungry eyes.
00:25:11Maybe.
00:25:12And the other girl asked would I say maybe my sunflower.
00:25:15And I put my arm around her and the other and pulled them close to me so I could feel their thighs all moist.
00:25:21Maybe.
00:25:22And their breasts were heaving like mad.
00:25:24And maybe, I said, maybe I will.
00:25:27Maybe.
00:25:29Maybe.
00:25:36Thanks a lot.
00:25:37Thanks.
00:25:38We're coming by.
00:25:39Hi.
00:25:40Hi.
00:25:42What's your name?
00:25:43Jessica.
00:25:44Jessica.
00:25:45How you doing?
00:25:46Good.
00:25:47How are you?
00:25:48Good.
00:25:49I really loved your novel.
00:25:51Well, thanks, Jessica.
00:25:52I'd really love to talk to you about it sometime.
00:25:54Definitely.
00:25:56I think we could arrange that.
00:25:59I'll see you soon.
00:26:00Be right back.
00:26:01You're not supposed to be back here.
00:26:02Um.
00:26:03I'm really sorry about the other night.
00:26:04What are you talking about?
00:26:05About what happened with Kim?
00:26:06Um.
00:26:07It just happened.
00:26:08I had no idea what was going on.
00:26:09What's the big deal?
00:26:10I just, I don't want you to be mad at me.
00:26:11Hey, can you put this over here?
00:26:12I don't want you to be mad at me.
00:26:13Hey, can you put this over here?
00:26:14I don't want you to be mad at me.
00:26:15Hey, can you put this over here?
00:26:16Right there.
00:26:17Yeah.
00:26:18Yeah.
00:26:19Thanks.
00:26:20Well, why would I be mad at you?
00:26:21Why would I be mad at you?
00:26:22I don't want you to be mad at me.
00:26:23Hey, can you put this over here?
00:26:24Right there.
00:26:25Yeah.
00:26:26Thanks.
00:26:27Well, why would I be mad at you?
00:26:28Why would I be mad at you?
00:26:29Cause I feel like I really screwed things up.
00:26:30And I'm really, I'm sorry.
00:26:31Listen, Mason, you can do whatever you want.
00:26:32You're like my big brother.
00:26:33I'm like Luke.
00:26:34No, you're not like Luke.
00:26:35It's just what you want to be mad at me.
00:26:36I don't know.
00:26:37I could go, did you?
00:26:38What?
00:26:39What do you want to be mad at me?
00:26:40I don't know what happened with Kim.
00:26:41I don't know.
00:26:42Oh.
00:26:43What happened with Kim?
00:26:44Oh.
00:26:45It just happened.
00:26:46I had no idea what was going on.
00:26:47What's the big deal?
00:26:48I just, I don't want you to be mad at me.
00:26:50Hey, can you put this over here?
00:26:51Right there.
00:26:52Yeah.
00:26:53Yeah.
00:26:54Thanks.
00:26:55Well, why would I be mad at you?
00:26:59You know, we grew up together, come on.
00:27:03Listen, as cute as you are, groveling,
00:27:06I have to get back to work.
00:27:08See ya.
00:27:24Up.
00:27:25Hello.
00:27:26Grandpa?
00:27:27Hey.
00:27:28Hmm.
00:27:29No, thank you for calling me back.
00:27:33Yeah.
00:27:34Yeah.
00:27:36Yeah, you're still invited if you want to.
00:27:41OK.
00:27:42I'll just, I'll meet you there.
00:27:44Yeah, I'll see you soon.
00:27:45OK.
00:27:46Bye.
00:27:49That's your boyfriend?
00:27:51He's not my boyfriend.
00:27:53Hmm.
00:27:55Whatever.
00:27:57What a surprise he called me.
00:27:59Maybe somebody canceled on him or something.
00:28:01Yeah, right.
00:28:02Well, I know one thing.
00:28:04It's going to be awkward.
00:28:05Why?
00:28:06You're going to get along fine with him.
00:28:08Um, I'm not worried about us.
00:28:10You guys are the ones with all the drama.
00:28:11Oh, my God.
00:28:13Olivia's going to be there.
00:28:14Talk about drama.
00:28:16Seeing as you just banged her best friend.
00:28:18Uh, that girl was very forward.
00:28:20And then all of a sudden, she was like on top of me.
00:28:23Really?
00:28:24Oh.
00:28:24Hi, happy friend.
00:28:26All right, get him up, get him up.
00:28:38Here's to the greatest guy I know, me.
00:28:42But this is to the second greatest guy I know.
00:28:46I can't wait for the new book.
00:28:48Fuck off.
00:28:49Is there anything new around here?
00:28:52What's the deal?
00:28:53Whatever.
00:28:54Free booze?
00:28:55I mean...
00:28:56Yeah, we looked around, but I've never been the type to just stare for hours and I'm like
00:29:00Olivia over there.
00:29:01Whatever.
00:29:02Yeah, I don't even get that.
00:29:03By the way, did you guys see somebody serving nachos somewhere around here?
00:29:07Like, one of the, uh, one of the gallery?
00:29:09Jesus Christ.
00:29:10Those Olivia's asshole friends are crazy.
00:29:12Whoa.
00:29:13Is that James Baxter?
00:29:14Oh.
00:29:15What is he doing here?
00:29:16Look, listen, bring him over and you can tell him how much you love him.
00:29:20Oh.
00:29:26Oh, I'm sorry.
00:29:28I'm sorry.
00:29:29It's so weird for you.
00:29:30Shut up.
00:29:31It's so hard for you.
00:29:32It is weird.
00:29:33It's weird that I have to keep this shit a secret from my wife.
00:29:35Oh, thank you.
00:29:36From, from the bottom of my wife.
00:29:37You're such a man.
00:29:40Hey, hey.
00:29:41Hi.
00:29:42How you doing?
00:29:43It's good to see you again.
00:29:44Hey, how'd that advice work out?
00:29:45Um, fine.
00:29:46Awesome.
00:29:47Yeah.
00:29:48Honey, um, you remember James from the wedding, right?
00:29:50Yeah.
00:29:51Hey, you wanna, wanna, um, go check out another gallery?
00:29:53I got their serving free food down the street and we can...
00:29:56No, I wanna wander around here a little bit, but I'll catch up.
00:29:59All right, all right.
00:30:00Honey, wanna...
00:30:01Oh, okay.
00:30:02Okay.
00:30:03Bye.
00:30:04Bye.
00:30:05You guys have a good time.
00:30:06Mm.
00:30:07Excuse me.
00:30:08All right.
00:30:09We'll see you soon.
00:30:10We'll see you soon.
00:30:11We'll see you soon.
00:30:12I'll see you soon.
00:30:13I'll get you a drink.
00:30:14That was awkward.
00:30:15Yes.
00:30:16Okay.
00:30:17A drink.
00:30:18I think it's one of these, or...
00:30:19A drink.
00:30:20A drink.
00:30:24So, does it get you better the longer you stare at it?
00:30:29God.
00:30:30Stock much?
00:30:31Yeah.
00:30:32Sometimes.
00:30:33You still mad at me?
00:30:35Hi, Mason.
00:30:36Hi.
00:30:37Hi.
00:30:38Brother.
00:30:39Is a total creep.
00:30:40He just told Josh to keep his hands off you.
00:30:42Like, told Josh.
00:30:44Dude.
00:30:45Why?
00:30:46Everyone knows Josh is gay.
00:30:48Whatever.
00:30:52Let's roll, Tom.
00:30:53This place blows.
00:30:54Oh, sincey.
00:30:55Oh, okay.
00:30:56See you guys later.
00:30:57Yeah, I'm out of here.
00:30:58All right, I do.
00:30:59Bye.
00:31:00Are you coming?
00:31:02Um, I'll catch up with you later.
00:31:05Are you sure?
00:31:06Get out of here.
00:31:08See you later, Mason.
00:31:09Bye.
00:31:15I'll still have a crush on you if you get me a glass of wine.
00:31:19Better what?
00:31:22Whatever.
00:31:29It doesn't bother you at all.
00:31:43I think it bothers you more.
00:31:48I'm glad you came.
00:31:49I was worried you didn't want to see me again.
00:31:52Well, I wasn't planning on it.
00:31:54But, uh, I couldn't really find anything else to do tonight.
00:31:57It's settled.
00:31:59Plus, I love art.
00:32:04Can I tell you a secret?
00:32:06Yeah, I love you.
00:32:21Get a room!
00:32:22Oh!
00:32:30Fuck this.
00:32:43Why am I wasting my time with you?
00:32:45There's so many single girls out there and I come after you.
00:32:47Why?
00:32:49Because you can't stop thinking about me.
00:32:52Don't fly to yourself.
00:32:54Then why are you here?
00:32:56I don't know.
00:32:57I guess I'm just old fashioned.
00:32:58I want you all to myself.
00:32:59Is that so wrong?
00:33:01I'm not a piece of real estate.
00:33:03Yeah, no, you're a fucking rental.
00:33:07Fuck you.
00:33:12Dammit.
00:33:13What's the matter?
00:33:14You don't like the movie?
00:33:15Wow, check this out.
00:33:16Can you see my shape?
00:33:17Oh!
00:33:18Oh!
00:33:19Oh!
00:33:20Oh!
00:33:21Oh!
00:33:22Oh!
00:33:23Oh!
00:33:24Oh!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:26Oh!
00:33:27Oh!
00:33:28Oh!
00:33:29Oh!
00:33:30Oh!
00:33:31Oh!
00:33:32Oh!
00:33:33Oh!
00:33:34Oh!
00:33:35Oh!
00:33:36Oh!
00:33:37Oh!
00:33:38Oh!
00:33:39Oh!
00:33:40Oh!
00:33:41Oh!
00:33:42Oh!
00:33:43Oh!
00:33:44Oh!
00:33:45I don't think you're supposed to do that.
00:33:50Come on, come here.
00:33:56I told you I am not a good dancer, okay?
00:33:58No one's around the sea.
00:34:01Oh!
00:34:03See?
00:34:11Sam, I'm sorry.
00:34:25Please, Sam.
00:34:26Sam.
00:34:27I'm so confused.
00:34:28I don't know what I'm thinking.
00:34:29I thought you didn't want this.
00:34:31I want you.
00:34:32Oh, my god.
00:34:34What?
00:34:35I've always wanted you.
00:34:37Please.
00:34:38Stop it.
00:34:39Stop it.
00:34:40Please.
00:34:41Come on.
00:34:42Come on.
00:34:43Do you really want this?
00:34:45Do you want an opening relationship?
00:34:46I'm not a victim, James.
00:34:48I just want you to be happy.
00:34:52I'm going back.
00:34:56No.
00:34:57I won't let you.
00:34:58No.
00:34:59You will be OK.
00:35:00No.
00:35:01No.
00:35:14I can't hear this.
00:35:15Please.
00:35:16Please.
00:35:17Please.
00:35:18Please, please.
00:35:19Please.
00:35:20Please.
00:35:21No.
00:35:22Please.
00:35:23Are you guys in the face of love to watch your wrist?
00:35:34I'm sorry.
00:35:50Okay, I guess they're friends again.
00:35:52Whatever.
00:35:55Oh, I just wish Samantha would talk to me.
00:35:58She's fine, babe. Whatever.
00:36:01I don't know. It just always feels like there's something between us.
00:36:05Maybe you should just go talk to her.
00:36:08Oh, okay. Talk to her about not talking to me. You're brilliant.
00:36:15God, where's Olivia? I really don't like those guys she's hanging out with, man.
00:36:19Okay. Okay, let's go find her.
00:36:21All right. Video sucks anyway.
00:36:23You're just making me nauseous.
00:36:25You're looking at a dead man.
00:36:31You're looking at a dead man.
00:36:43Are you tired?
00:36:44Yes.
00:36:45Probably because you're boning boner back.
00:36:49Are you working again?
00:36:52Scoot over.
00:36:53Have art.
00:36:54I read books. I read this book, How to Win a Woman Over.
00:36:58Really?
00:36:59Just by decorating your apartment.
00:37:01Yeah.
00:37:08It's funny how opposed to lying you are, but you can't even tell your own sister about us.
00:37:12Well, it's not lying if you just don't mention it.
00:37:14Is that a time capsule?
00:37:16It's a bread holder.
00:37:18Bread holder?
00:37:20Bread box is the more technical term. You want something to drink?
00:37:24No.
00:37:25What do you think of this?
00:37:26I think this story is ridiculous.
00:37:27I think you're ridiculous.
00:37:28I think you're ridiculous.
00:37:29I think you're ridiculous.
00:37:31Cheers.
00:37:32Cheers.
00:37:33Are you falling in love with them?
00:37:34No.
00:37:35We're just friends.
00:37:36Hey.
00:37:37What?
00:37:38You can tell me the truth.
00:37:39I just did.
00:37:40Maybe we should go back to the way things were, you know?
00:37:41It makes it less complicated.
00:37:42It's not.
00:37:43No.
00:37:44No.
00:37:45No.
00:37:46No.
00:37:47No.
00:37:48No.
00:37:49No.
00:37:50No.
00:37:51No.
00:37:52No.
00:37:53No.
00:37:54No.
00:37:55No.
00:37:56No.
00:37:57No.
00:37:58No.
00:37:59No.
00:38:00No.
00:38:01No.
00:38:02No.
00:38:03No.
00:38:04No.
00:38:05No.
00:38:06No.
00:38:07No.
00:38:08No.
00:38:09No.
00:38:10So complicated.
00:38:11Just complicated.
00:38:16Hey, mister, not so fast.
00:38:25Dishes are done, dude.
00:38:27Away.
00:38:28Yup.
00:38:29This is it?
00:38:30That's it?
00:38:31That's...
00:38:32fucking awesome.
00:38:33You're right, it's fucking awesome.
00:38:35I'm really proud of you.
00:38:36It's fucking awesome.
00:38:37Let's celebrate right now.
00:38:38Let's go.
00:38:39I totally would, but Allie's...
00:38:41Get up.
00:38:42I can't.
00:38:42Why not?
00:38:43I got plans with Allie.
00:38:44Cancel them.
00:38:45No, I can't.
00:38:46What about Sam?
00:38:47Doesn't she want to go and party?
00:38:48Sam's on a date with James or something.
00:38:50I don't even know.
00:38:51Come on.
00:38:52You better watch out, man.
00:38:53That guy makes a ton of money.
00:38:55Like, chicks leave guys like you for guys like him.
00:38:58Thanks for saying that.
00:38:59I'm not worried, okay?
00:39:00Thank you for worrying.
00:39:02You guys are freaks.
00:39:03Well, at least I'm not a fucking eunuch.
00:39:06You know, at least my girl's not fucking some other guy.
00:39:09Great, great.
00:39:10You made your point.
00:39:10Let's go.
00:39:11Get up.
00:39:12We are out of here right now.
00:39:15I want to be drunk.
00:39:16Yes, sir.
00:39:16Okay, okay, okay.
00:39:17Hurry.
00:39:17I'll do it.
00:39:18I'm in a rush.
00:39:19I'll call or reschedule.
00:39:28Hello.
00:39:30This is Sam.
00:39:32Uh-huh.
00:39:39Are you sure?
00:39:40Yes, ma'am.
00:39:54Seriously?
00:39:55Wow.
00:39:55I'm so good at six.
00:39:58I'm so good at six.
00:40:00I'm so good at six.
00:40:02Thank you for being here.
00:40:03Hello?
00:40:03Hey, what's wrong?
00:40:12What's wrong?
00:40:13Can I come over?
00:40:14Yeah, okay, okay.
00:40:15Come on over.
00:40:16I'll see you in a second.
00:40:18Okay?
00:40:19Okay, bye.
00:40:21It's Olivia.
00:40:23She's upset or something.
00:40:25Let's do it until she gets in.
00:40:27What is this?
00:40:27You're gonna hurt yourself.
00:40:29Okay, I'm sorry, though.
00:40:33We didn't want to talk about her.
00:40:36Nothing.
00:40:37Have a good time.
00:40:39I'll just, I'll just see what's happening.
00:40:42I'll tell her to go home, okay?
00:40:43Bye.
00:41:03Huh.
00:41:05God, I just hate my friends sometimes.
00:41:09I mean, Amy and Kim, they just gang up on me.
00:41:11It's like, I don't understand anything I'm going through.
00:41:15They're just so stupid and judgmental and for no reason, you know?
00:41:21What?
00:41:33You're so sexy.
00:41:34Do you want to kiss me?
00:41:43No.
00:41:46Maybe.
00:41:49I want to kiss you.
00:41:53I need to tell you something.
00:41:55I need to tell you something.
00:41:55I need to tell you something.
00:41:57I need to tell you something.
00:42:03I need to tell you.
00:42:09I'm a virgin.
00:42:17Yeah, I am.
00:42:20I just want you to know.
00:43:44Sam?
00:43:46Hi.
00:43:47I didn't know you were home.
00:43:48I'm so sorry.
00:43:49It's okay.
00:43:50Don't feel awkward or bad about this.
00:43:52I'm totally fine with it, seriously.
00:43:54Are you sure?
00:43:55I mean, I was a little nervous coming over here.
00:43:57No, yeah.
00:43:58It's totally fine.
00:43:59Don't even worry about it.
00:44:00Have fun tonight.
00:44:01Are you going to James's?
00:44:03Yeah.
00:44:04Doesn't this stuff ever bother you?
00:44:09Not really.
00:44:10It's fun.
00:44:11Do you ever feel numb?
00:44:12I have to go.
00:44:13I'll see you.
00:44:14See you later.
00:44:15See you later.
00:44:16See you later.
00:44:17See you later.
00:44:18Oh.
00:44:19I'll see you later.
00:44:20I'll see you later.
00:44:21I have to go. I'll see you. I'll see you later.
00:44:34Who are you talking to?
00:44:37Nobody.
00:44:51I don't want you to tell Sam what we did last night.
00:45:17Why not?
00:45:21I just don't want her to know that we had sex.
00:45:24I don't want her to feel uncomfortable or...
00:45:26She won't. She won't. She doesn't care.
00:45:29Please.
00:45:33For me?
00:45:37Okay.
00:45:39All right. I won't tell her. You promise?
00:45:41Yeah, I promise.
00:45:42Swear?
00:45:43I swear.
00:45:44You pinky swear?
00:45:45No.
00:45:46Come on, you got a pinky.
00:45:47Yeah, pinky swear. All right.
00:45:50Hey, thank you.
00:45:54I can't believe you invited James.
00:45:56Well, I invited him and Brooke, but Brooke didn't make it.
00:46:00I could just not invite him.
00:46:02What's the problem with that you guys are friends now?
00:46:04We are friends now. I just wish you would have told me that he was coming. That's all. Whatever.
00:46:07It's not a big deal. Forget about it.
00:46:09What?
00:46:14What's going on with you? You've been edgy all night.
00:46:17I'm busy. I've been working a lot.
00:46:19You've been acting funny for a while. Is there something you're not telling me?
00:46:23No.
00:46:26Are you having an affair with Mason?
00:46:27Oh, my God.
00:46:28Because you tell me if you were, right? I'm your sister. You can tell me anything.
00:46:33You know, I don't understand why you and Mason don't get married.
00:46:37Honestly.
00:46:39Someone's gonna steal him away.
00:46:43Jesus, come on. I made this myself.
00:46:45Sorry.
00:46:46What are you doing?
00:46:47Fuck.
00:46:49Thanks, Olivia.
00:46:52Nachos.
00:46:54Hot.
00:46:55Alright.
00:46:57Okay. Well, be nice to it.
00:46:58Alright.
00:46:59I'm gonna go get my chips.
00:47:01Weighted casino quality chips.
00:47:03Cause I'm fucking neurotic.
00:47:11I had a good time with you last night, but you can't.
00:47:13You can't.
00:47:14No, let's do it in the car.
00:47:15No, no, no, no.
00:47:16Come on, be adventurous. Let's go.
00:47:18Oh.
00:47:27Got these personalized so nobody can rip me off.
00:47:31Nachos, man. Really good.
00:47:32Yeah.
00:47:34Oh.
00:47:35You son of a bitch.
00:47:38You know what? I left my phone out in the car. I'll be right back.
00:47:43It's not a big deal, dude.
00:47:46Oh.
00:47:47Hi.
00:47:48What are you doing here?
00:47:49Um.
00:47:50I brought beer.
00:47:51Great.
00:47:52Thanks.
00:47:53Um.
00:47:54Come on in.
00:47:55Thanks.
00:47:58Wow.
00:47:59Is that a handmade occasion?
00:48:00Fuck yeah, it's handmade.
00:48:02Okay, I officially have no idea what I'm doing, but the business is I do have a 69.
00:48:16Okay.
00:48:17Well, you might as well fold because you told everybody what you got, so just...
00:48:22Whatever.
00:48:24So how are things going between you and Brooke?
00:48:26I raise.
00:48:27Yeah.
00:48:28Oh.
00:48:29Yeah, not very well.
00:48:30Come in.
00:48:31I don't think she's that interesting than me.
00:48:33That's too bad.
00:48:34She could really use a guy like you.
00:48:36I raise.
00:48:37Me too.
00:48:38Could you wait your turn?
00:48:39I haven't even gone yet.
00:48:40You could be out of the game if you keep playing like this.
00:48:42Well, I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding a nice girl.
00:48:45Oh, thank you.
00:48:46But, uh, the best ones are always taken.
00:48:51Uh, you okay?
00:48:52Why are you drinking water anyway?
00:48:53Have a fucking beer.
00:48:54Listen up.
00:48:55She's a chef beat, dead beat.
00:48:56All in.
00:48:57Oh, fuck it, seriously.
00:48:58You better have a full house or something.
00:49:00She's bluffing.
00:49:01I'm in.
00:49:02Fine, you too.
00:49:04Let's see you, punk ass.
00:49:06Two pair.
00:49:07Read them and weep.
00:49:09Three queens.
00:49:10Five.
00:49:11All right.
00:49:12Yeah, well, let me show you guys how to really play some poker.
00:49:16Ow!
00:49:17A full flush.
00:49:18Nice.
00:49:19You're so nice.
00:49:20You're so nice.
00:49:21You're so nice, baby.
00:49:22A full house.
00:49:23Don't even know what kind of hand she has.
00:49:25Oh, whatever.
00:49:26You are quite the hustler, huh?
00:49:27Um, I think I deserve another beer for real.
00:49:30You already had yours, Melissa.
00:49:32Can I turn my phone call on?
00:49:34Continue.
00:49:35That's the point.
00:49:36You don't even know how to play poker.
00:49:37Sweetie, is this a good hand?
00:49:38Just phone me.
00:49:39Mmm, I'm scared.
00:49:40Fine, I called.
00:49:43I raced.
00:49:44Come on!
00:49:45So, how do you like being married to my gay brother?
00:49:48She fucking loves it.
00:49:49I love being married.
00:49:50You love being married?
00:49:51Yeah, yeah.
00:49:52I love you.
00:49:53You better love being married.
00:49:54How about you?
00:49:55You got a boyfriend.
00:49:56Well, actually, there's this one guy.
00:49:59Really?
00:50:00Yeah, he's really cute.
00:50:01I really like him.
00:50:02But I don't know.
00:50:03Well, he's way older.
00:50:04I know, Reg.
00:50:05Yeah.
00:50:06But he also is kind of dating someone and he totally had sex with my best friend.
00:50:08Oh my God.
00:50:09Best friends having sex?
00:50:10Yeah.
00:50:11You're not your best friend anymore.
00:50:12Whatever.
00:50:13You know, I think this guy sounds like bad news.
00:50:14Like, real bad news.
00:50:15Yeah, I know.
00:50:16But the thing is that I've just liked him forever and not only is he a hot kisser, but he has
00:50:33a Jesus penis.
00:50:34Okay.
00:50:35You know what that means.
00:50:36Jesus penis.
00:50:37You know what that means.
00:50:38What does a Jesus penis mean?
00:50:40It's perfect.
00:50:41It's large.
00:50:42Oh my God.
00:50:43Conversation's over.
00:50:44Let's play poker.
00:50:45The reason we came here.
00:50:46I'll...
00:50:47I'll...
00:50:48And I'll...
00:50:49Oh.
00:50:50Yeah, I think he might be able to do a little better.
00:50:51It just sounds like he's a little immature.
00:50:52I don't think it sounds like he's immature at all.
00:50:53He's apparently got a legendary penis.
00:50:54I say go for it.
00:50:55I mean, he sounds like a fucking stud.
00:50:56Are you kidding me?
00:50:57No, I'm not kidding.
00:50:58Can you guys fucking shut up?
00:50:59It seems like you're going to hear about this.
00:51:00It's making me feel good.
00:51:01I'm not kidding.
00:51:02I'm not kidding.
00:51:03I'm not kidding.
00:51:04I'm not kidding.
00:51:05I'm not kidding.
00:51:06I'm not kidding.
00:51:07I'm not kidding.
00:51:08Are you kidding me?
00:51:09No, I'm not kidding.
00:51:10Can you guys fucking shut up?
00:51:11It seems like you're going to hear about this.
00:51:12It's making me sick in my stomach.
00:51:13Go get another beer.
00:51:14Yes.
00:51:16Olivia, you're only young once, alright?
00:51:19Go...
00:51:20Oh my God.
00:51:21Get on that penis.
00:51:22No, no, no, no, no.
00:51:23Honey, honey.
00:51:24Good things come to those who wait.
00:51:25I promise you.
00:51:26I mean, look at you and Samantha.
00:51:27You guys are like the perfect couple.
00:51:29You're both cute and successful and in love.
00:51:31Let me just play poker, please.
00:51:33Well, I don't understand why you don't just propose to her.
00:51:36It's easy.
00:51:37Yeah, why don't you marry Sam, Mason?
00:51:41Poker, poker, poker.
00:51:42Yeah.
00:51:43Alright, is anybody still playing this game?
00:51:44Look.
00:51:45All in.
00:51:46All in.
00:51:47All in.
00:51:48Bitches.
00:51:49Oh, bitches.
00:51:50I'll go all in.
00:51:51Nice.
00:51:54What are you going to do, man?
00:52:07Sorry.
00:52:08When are you planning on telling her?
00:52:09When I have time to.
00:52:10There's always something going on.
00:52:11God damn it.
00:52:12You have to tell him.
00:52:13And you have to tell your sister.
00:52:14And you gotta stop lying to the people who care about you.
00:52:16It isn't lying if you just don't mention it.
00:52:17That is so fucking cool, Sam.
00:52:18Look, when I saw you at the wedding.
00:52:24And I spent the night together.
00:52:25And I kept seeing you.
00:52:27I had to deal with the fact that you were in this weird relationship.
00:52:34But the reason that I stayed with you was because you were so open and honest and you made
00:52:51me feel so alive.
00:52:53That's why I've been trying to make this work.
00:52:57It was because you were so open and honest, and you made me feel so alive.
00:53:01That's why I've been trying to make this work.
00:53:07I care about you.
00:53:13I love you.
00:53:27I'm sorry for putting you through all that.
00:53:33It's okay.
00:53:35I don't know what I'm doing.
00:53:46I'm sorry I didn't tell you, sweetheart.
00:53:50What did you think I would say?
00:53:54I don't know.
00:53:57Were you afraid I would judge you?
00:54:02I just wanted you to keep looking up to me.
00:54:09You were always a level-headed one, Sam.
00:54:12The one who always thought everything through.
00:54:15I'm the one who rushed into marriage with Luke when everyone told me to wait.
00:54:21I'm the one everyone thought would have the first kid.
00:54:23God, maybe you would just show us a meal alone.
00:54:34Sammy, are you really sure you want to go through with this?
00:54:41I don't know.
00:54:42Can I even have a baby right now?
00:54:44I want to start a business.
00:54:45My life would be over.
00:54:49And it must be Christmas.
00:54:52You bring your two boyfriends and your baby to dinner,
00:54:55and then mom will start preaching about the importance of family balance.
00:54:59Oh my god, can you imagine?
00:55:05It's so neat.
00:55:10So how are you going to tell Mason?
00:55:14I don't know.
00:55:17We used to be able to tell each other everything,
00:55:19and now there's just something between us.
00:55:22Now you're in love with somebody else.
00:55:24I'm still in love with Mason.
00:55:29And why can't you just talk to him?
00:55:33Because I know what he would say.
00:55:34He doesn't want kids.
00:55:36What if it's not his?
00:55:41I just don't want to hurt him.
00:55:45Spit it out.
00:55:47Do it like a man did.
00:55:48He's a big boy.
00:55:49He can take it.
00:55:52It's harder than that.
00:55:54And sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing.
00:56:03Don't look at me like that.
00:56:06Thanks, Dr. Phil.
00:56:07Shut up.
00:56:08Give me some more pie.
00:56:09Just give me some more pie.
00:56:11Come on.
00:56:18This is...
00:56:19She's right in front of me.
00:56:20I gotta go.
00:56:21Okay.
00:56:22Bye.
00:56:22Sam.
00:56:25Jesus fucking Christ.
00:56:27I just got off the phone with Allie.
00:56:29That was quick.
00:56:30I'm just so happy I don't have to keep you guys a secret from her anymore.
00:56:32That shit was driving me crazy.
00:56:35Seriously, listen.
00:56:35Listen.
00:56:36If you guys need anything, let me know.
00:56:39Okay?
00:56:42I'd make an awesome uncle.
00:56:43Well, now, I should tell you, the publisher loved Mason's book, thinks it's going to be huge.
00:56:55Are you serious?
00:56:55Yeah.
00:56:56So I'm going to go in and tell him.
00:56:57That's great.
00:56:58I know.
00:56:58What the fuck?
00:57:00What the fuck?
00:57:00Fuck, Dick, come down.
00:57:01Luke, stop it!
00:57:02Come here.
00:57:02Luke, stop it!
00:57:03Leave him alone!
00:57:05Stop it!
00:57:05Stop it!
00:57:06Stop it!
00:57:08Luke, stop it!
00:57:09Stop it!
00:57:09Fuck you!
00:57:10Get off.
00:57:10Get your fucking clothes on.
00:57:16Get your fucking clothes on!
00:57:19How the fuck could you do this?
00:57:20You two are fucking sick!
00:57:23Treating people like toys!
00:57:25Hey, asshole!
00:57:26You fucking leave my sister alone or I will fucking kill you.
00:57:30Go, go.
00:57:30Luke, stop!
00:57:31You're hurting me!
00:57:32How could you bring a child into this shit?
00:57:34Shut up.
00:57:36What are you talking about?
00:57:38He doesn't know?
00:57:40Get out.
00:57:41She's pregnant, asshole.
00:57:43Maybe if you talk to her instead of fucking...
00:57:45Get out!
00:57:50Go, Luke.
00:57:51Look.
00:57:52I should have hit him back.
00:58:07You know that wouldn't have solved anything.
00:58:14Fuck!
00:58:16Ow!
00:58:19What the purpose?
00:58:27Why didn't you just tell me?
00:58:32Why didn't you just tell me about you and Olivia?
00:58:34God, come on, I know you guys have been sleeping together for weeks.
00:58:41Why wouldn't you just tell me?
00:58:45Who else knows?
00:58:46About Olivia?
00:58:47No, about your fucking kid!
00:58:48What do you think?
00:58:52Allison?
00:58:55James?
00:58:55James.
00:58:56Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:58:58You're gonna be fucking sick.
00:59:01Whose is it?
00:59:02Is it his?
00:59:04You know, that's fucking awesome.
00:59:05You're always giving me shit about using protection.
00:59:08You're such a fucking hypocrite.
00:59:09God, that makes two of us!
00:59:10No!
00:59:10I'm not fucking pregnant.
00:59:12I don't want a kid.
00:59:13I never did.
00:59:14I don't want a kid either.
00:59:16Yeah, for all I know, this is exactly what you've always wanted.
00:59:20You're such an asshole!
00:59:30I don't really screw things up with Luke, did I?
00:59:42You're in love with him, aren't you?
00:59:44Yeah.
00:59:45Yeah.
00:59:47I think I am.
00:59:50Oh, don't tell me you're jealous.
00:59:54Oh, I'm not.
00:59:55I'm not jealous.
00:59:56Well, then why can't we talk anymore?
00:59:57Because I don't want to talk!
01:00:00You're such a fucking child.
01:00:02You're such a fucking child!
01:00:04Fuck you.
01:00:05Fuck you.
01:00:10Okay, here's my plan.
01:00:12A big fucking push.
01:00:1450 cities, TV appearances, Leno, Letterman, and I think I can get you on Oprah.
01:00:21Sounds good?
01:00:23Sounds good.
01:00:24Yeah, it sounds good.
01:00:25It sounds fucking great!
01:00:26But you've got to come to L.A., darling.
01:00:28Even though you are probably the king of this town, aren't you?
01:00:33Yeah, yeah.
01:00:34So many gorgeous girls.
01:00:36God, look at you two.
01:00:37So cute, all dressed up like real men.
01:00:39My son Keaton's about your age.
01:00:41I can't get him to tie his fucking shoes, much less write a book or manage or whatever you do.
01:00:47I don't know.
01:00:47I just can't settle down.
01:00:49I guess life's just a shitload of fun when you're up to your neck in poontang.
01:00:54Okay, we've got work to do, darling.
01:00:55Okay.
01:00:56Why don't you have your undertaker go down to the lobby for a few minutes?
01:00:59We'll need our privacy.
01:01:01Catherine, pleasure as always.
01:01:02Until next time.
01:01:04What is his fucking problem?
01:01:07Geesh.
01:01:08Catherine, I gotta go.
01:01:10I'm sorry.
01:01:11I'll be back.
01:01:12Do not keep me waiting.
01:01:14Okay.
01:01:14See ya.
01:01:22Luke, come on.
01:01:24Hold up.
01:01:25Give me a second.
01:01:26As soon as this fucking deal goes through, I'm no longer your manager.
01:01:30Bullshit.
01:01:31I can't fucking work with you anymore.
01:01:34I can't be friends with you anymore.
01:01:36That's it.
01:01:37All right?
01:01:37I said I was sorry.
01:01:38I apologized.
01:01:39I fucked up.
01:01:40What do you want me to say?
01:01:41I don't fucking believe you.
01:01:43I can't trust you.
01:01:44I'm done.
01:01:46Olivia's an adult, okay?
01:01:47She knows what she's getting into.
01:01:48She's an adult.
01:01:48Shut your fucking mouth.
01:01:49Just shut your fucking mouth.
01:01:50Don't...
01:01:51God damn it.
01:01:56Why'd you fucking do it?
01:01:58Of all the people in the world you could have fucked around with, my little sister?
01:02:03You...
01:02:04What the fuck were you thinking?
01:02:06We were bros.
01:02:07You were my best fucking friend.
01:02:08I lied to my wife for you, and this is how you fucking repay me?
01:02:18I know Olivia only fucked you to get at me, but it doesn't change the fact that you still
01:02:22did it.
01:02:24You're not a good guy, man.
01:02:25You're not.
01:02:30You use people.
01:02:32You exploit their lives for your trashy novels.
01:02:35I used to think I was doing you a favor, helping you sell that shit, but it turns out you
01:02:38were just using me.
01:02:39Like you fucking use everyone.
01:02:41That is not true.
01:02:42You know, Ali told me the only reason Sam stays with you is out of pity.
01:02:45Do you know that?
01:02:48Fuck you.
01:02:49You're like a charity case for her.
01:02:54Who else would stay with such an ineffectual fuck?
01:02:58You don't even have the balls to commit to the one person who can tolerate you.
01:03:06Better get back.
01:03:07Don't want to miss your date.
01:03:10Have a lonely fucking life, man.
01:03:15I know I haven't been worried, I'm hungry, bad.
01:03:33I know I cursed at your name and then laughed.
01:03:36I know I found it a name that Ben Cass.
01:03:38A server to the grovel and frame this pain task.
01:03:41I got a figure and can't hurt to ask.
01:03:44A suspense and a disbelief in uniquely free flash.
01:03:47A mission of the faithfully shaken out trial.
01:03:5030,000 and dropping.
01:03:51It's on and popping it last.
01:03:53Keep me in the sky.
01:03:54That's all that I cry.
01:03:55I'll become your server if it's worth your time.
01:03:58Keep me in the sky.
01:03:59That's all that I'll say.
01:04:01I'll become your soldier leaves for this day.
01:04:04Keep me in the sky.
01:04:05That's all that I cry.
01:04:07I'll become your server if it's worth your time.
01:04:09Keep me in the sky.
01:04:11That's all that I'll say.
01:04:12I'll become a soldier at least for this day
01:04:15Keep me in the sky, that's all that I've tried
01:04:18I'll become a sovereign at this once in a while
01:04:21Keep me in the sky, that's all that I've tried
01:04:37Hey
01:04:38I got a good hit in
01:04:40I landed a good punch
01:04:42What were you thinking, Mason?
01:04:45God, I've known Jeremy since kindergarten
01:04:48He's a fifth degree black belt
01:04:52Why were you kissing him?
01:04:53Oh, I always hook up with Jeremy
01:04:55It doesn't mean anything
01:04:57Oh my God
01:04:59Did you think he was like the only one?
01:05:01Did you think we were like going steady or something?
01:05:05You don't know what you're doing
01:05:07Well, isn't this what you and Sam do?
01:05:09Have fun, hook up with other people
01:05:11I can't believe you're jealous
01:05:14What a fucking double standard
01:05:17Shut up
01:05:19Ted is fucking killing me
01:05:21Stop laughing
01:05:22Okay
01:05:23Oh God, Mason
01:05:24Luke's worried he'd tell my parents if he found out that we were still seeing each other
01:05:31I know my parents would freak out and make me move back home
01:05:34Besides, my girls told me that I shouldn't be seeing you anyway because you're gonna be a dad soon
01:05:41I mean, you can't have a girlfriend, a kid, and me
01:05:45Besides, it's kind of weird dating a dad
01:05:48Ugh
01:05:50I'll leave her
01:05:51I'll leave her for you
01:05:53Oh, Jesus
01:05:54If that's what you want, I will
01:05:56No, no
01:05:57Seriously, you'd be nothing without her
01:05:59But I love you
01:06:01I love you
01:06:02I love you too
01:06:03But I'm not in love with you
01:06:06And I don't want a boyfriend
01:06:14You dumping me?
01:06:15God, Mason
01:06:16Why do you have to be so serious all the time?
01:06:19It's not like you could really call this dating
01:06:49And the other day I was in the park watching these kids play and I just started crying out of nowhere
01:07:11Can you believe that?
01:07:14You never cry
01:07:16What the hell is wrong with me?
01:07:20You've got some crazy decisions to make
01:07:25Why does life have to be so fucking complicated?
01:07:28Because sometimes love just isn't enough
01:07:37You speak English?
01:07:39My girl
01:07:43My girl
01:07:44My girl
01:07:45Don't lie
01:07:46Don't lie
01:07:47To me
01:07:48Tell me
01:07:49Where did you sleep last night?
01:07:53Come on, Jeremy
01:07:54In the pine
01:07:56In the pine
01:07:57In the pine
01:07:58Where the sun
01:07:59Don't ever shine
01:08:00I was here
01:08:02Hey
01:08:03Thanks for coming
01:08:06Yeah
01:08:07Seems like something we should do
01:08:10So this is where we fight over the girl
01:08:12What are you drinking?
01:08:13Mojito
01:08:14Can we get some beers over here?
01:08:15Yeah, let's be right over here
01:08:16Thanks
01:08:17Thanks
01:08:18She kept asking me out
01:08:31She asked me out
01:08:32Four or five times before I finally said yes
01:08:35You know, I was cancelling on her
01:08:36I had plans
01:08:37I was busy
01:08:38She's persistent
01:08:40You know
01:08:41She's a persistent woman
01:08:43She is
01:08:44Yeah, she's the kind of girl who knows what she wants
01:08:47and doesn't stop until she's got it
01:08:48All right, guys, here you go
01:08:50A couple beers, the shots are on me
01:08:53All right
01:08:54All right, here's to Mason and his new book
01:08:56Thanks, man
01:08:57All right
01:09:01Whew
01:09:02Ouch
01:09:03I love women
01:09:08You know
01:09:09I mean, not in the dirty way
01:09:11Well, not too
01:09:12Not too
01:09:13But I just
01:09:14I love
01:09:15I love the way they look
01:09:16I love the way they talk
01:09:18I love how they smell
01:09:20I love how they taste
01:09:22I love getting to know them, you know
01:09:25I do
01:09:26I like trying to understand them
01:09:27Because they're all so different
01:09:29Yeah, that's true
01:09:30Yeah, that's true
01:09:31It's fucking
01:09:35Two women
01:09:36Two women
01:09:38Shots
01:09:39All right
01:09:40All right, another round
01:09:41Another round
01:09:42Shots, shots, and then I got a story
01:09:43All right
01:09:46You know what? They call this guy?
01:09:47Do you know why they call this guy boner bastard?
01:09:49Oh, shit
01:09:50When this guy was in college
01:09:52Middle of the night
01:09:53No, no, no, no
01:09:54If you're gonna tell it
01:09:55You gotta tell it the right way
01:09:56I am telling it the right way, okay?
01:09:58I'm a writer, all right?
01:09:59I'm an important writer
01:10:01Sit down
01:10:02So, fire alarm goes off, right?
01:10:04And there are all these horny, horny dudes
01:10:08Ambling around, you know, trying to get a look at their little girls
01:10:12With their stupid little pajamas
01:10:14And smack dab in the middle of this hormonal fray
01:10:18Is this one lone gunslinger
01:10:20With this big, bulging fucking ramrod
01:10:24Just sticking out for all the world to see
01:10:27It wasn't, I wasn't exposed
01:10:28It was, I had silk boxers on
01:10:30And it's a natural occurrence
01:10:32Ladies and gentlemen, the legend of Boner Baxter
01:10:35It's a blessing and a curse
01:10:36You know, you know what your problem is?
01:10:38No, what?
01:10:39What?
01:10:40You're so, you're so traditional
01:10:41You know, you always do exactly what you think you're supposed to do
01:10:46Well, at least my life isn't scattered
01:10:48You will never really be in love
01:10:51Because you will never be satisfied with anyone
01:10:55You want too much
01:10:56I bet, I bet, I bet your plan is to be married by 30
01:10:59Well, I used to think that
01:11:01Married at 30
01:11:03Mistress at 40
01:11:05Horsche at 50
01:11:06Retired at 60
01:11:07And then
01:11:08What a fucking life
01:11:09Cheers to that
01:11:10Cheers to that
01:11:12You know
01:11:15You are scared to death
01:11:17Of marriage
01:11:19You feel trapped by it
01:11:21Well, thank you
01:11:22Jesus for coming into this room right now
01:11:24And explaining my fucking life to me
01:11:26Who made you Sigmund fucking Freud?
01:11:28How, what, how do you know anything about me?
01:11:31When did, when did the therapist walk into the bar?
01:11:34I missed that
01:11:35Um, I think about three beers ago
01:11:38Thank you, I really appreciate that man
01:11:40Coming from, you know, wise James over here
01:11:43Jesus Christ
01:11:44All of those names apply
01:11:46You're just, you're not very open minded
01:11:49That's the problem
01:11:50You're right
01:11:51But I, I am working on that
01:11:54Working on it?
01:11:55Yeah
01:11:56But you know what I am?
01:11:57I am a realist
01:11:59What does that even mean?
01:12:01It means that you live in fucking fantasyland
01:12:06Fantasyland?
01:12:07What the fuck is fantasy?
01:12:09Is that a strip club?
01:12:11The life you live, the life you are living
01:12:14Does not function in this society
01:12:16No, you're wrong
01:12:17You're wrong on this one, am I right?
01:12:19You guys are fucking assholes
01:12:21Guys just wanna get laid?
01:12:23No, see, that's, that's not always true
01:12:30Because I love her, I really do
01:12:33And this is fucking weird because you're her boyfriend
01:12:37And I'm telling you this
01:12:39And we're not hitting each other
01:12:41Hell, well I'm not so good at fights
01:12:43I got your back, amigo
01:12:45There you go
01:12:51So, what are we gonna do, Mason?
01:12:57I don't know, man
01:12:59I got no fucking idea
01:13:19Mason?
01:13:20Are you here?
01:13:22Are you here?
01:13:28What are you doing?
01:13:36It was supposed to be you and me against the world, Sam
01:13:41What happened?
01:13:42What were you looking for?
01:13:50I love you so much
01:13:52I love you
01:13:55You're my everything
01:13:59I love you too
01:14:05Are you here?
01:14:12Oh, Mason
01:14:25I've had it for years
01:14:27I don't know why I never gave it to you
01:14:28I'm sorry
01:14:30I just...
01:14:33What do you say?
01:14:36You know how I feel about marriage
01:14:38Yeah, well you know how I feel about kids
01:14:40But I'm still here
01:14:43So I just...
01:14:44I wanna make you happy
01:14:46I'm gonna quit drinking
01:14:47And okay, I promise
01:14:49I'll never see her again
01:14:51I'll never see any of them again
01:14:52You can see James if you want
01:14:53I don't care
01:14:55You can...
01:14:58Please, give us your heart over
01:15:02What do you say?
01:15:05Do you really want me to tell you the truth?
01:15:12Mom?
01:15:13Mom?
01:15:15Mom?
01:15:19Mom?
01:15:21No
01:15:22No
01:15:25Okay
01:15:29Sure, we can get married
01:15:31And we can have a bed that's big enough for you and me
01:15:35And James
01:15:37And the baby
01:15:39And we can even throw Olivia in there if you want
01:15:42And we'll all live happily ever after
01:15:46And it'll be fun
01:15:47It's not your kid, Mason
01:16:03It's him
01:16:08Are you relieved?
01:16:09I need me
01:16:11I don't know
01:16:15I don't know
01:16:18I'm sorry
01:16:22I'm sorry
01:16:28I'm sorry
01:16:29I'm sorry
01:16:31I'm sorry
01:16:33I'm sorry
01:16:35I'm sorry
01:16:37I'm sorry
01:16:39I'm sorry
01:16:41And that final night
01:16:42As we lay together
01:16:43I came to realize
01:16:44That she didn't need me anymore
01:16:46I was the one that needed her
01:16:48The one that needed all of them
01:16:50The next morning she was gone
01:16:51But her whiskey sweat
01:16:52And the stench of oiled leather
01:16:54Lingered for weeks
01:16:56I never knew Bola emotionally
01:16:59But at least I knew her physically
01:17:00And for a guy like me
01:17:02I take what I can get
01:17:04Thanks, Doug
01:17:05For letting me read your inspired story through the class
01:17:08I'm looking forward to reading everybody's papers
01:17:10If you haven't turned them in yet
01:17:11You can just put them in my box
01:17:12So I can get to them by the midterm
01:17:14Okay
01:17:15Your lecture was really great, Mason
01:17:26Thanks, Jenny
01:17:28A bunch of us are going to the gaslight later
01:17:30If you want to grab a beer
01:17:34Some other time
01:17:35I got work to do
01:17:38Alright
01:17:39We'll miss you
01:17:45Thank you
01:18:15Thank you
01:18:45Thank you
01:19:15Thank you
01:19:45Thank you
01:19:46Thank you
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