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Short filmTranscript
00:00It's my last year at school. Everyone is in love.
00:25Except me.
00:30Let's see what little loser Lindsey's writing about. Is she calculating the probability of ever getting a date?
00:41Give me back my notebook.
00:43Oh my god. You want to lose your virginity before graduation?
00:48You're still a virgin?
00:51I have the perfect guy for you.
00:53See that little fatty over there?
00:55I think maybe if we cover up your ugly face in some chocolate, you might just have a shot.
01:00I'm not like you. I don't fall for guys who are as dumb and shallow as your boyfriends.
01:04Are you saying I have bad taste in men?
01:06I'm saying it's not my fault that your two-timing ex-boyfriends gave you an STD.
01:10What's that Lindsey? You're going to get a boyfriend with an 8-pack and make out with him in front of the entire school?
01:20And if it doesn't happen this semester, you're going to run around naked for everyone to see?
01:25Wow, Lynn!
01:27I never said that.
01:28She couldn't even bag a loser from the robotics team, much less a guy with an 8-pack.
01:32Yeah, that brude little version would never agree to a dare like that.
01:37Who said I wouldn't?
01:38I guess we'll see then, won't we?
01:40Either you show up with your boyfriend with an 8-pack, or you run around naked for everyone to see.
01:48I'd get a boob job now if I were you.
01:53You just wait and see.
01:55Kyle, why can't you pretend to be my boyfriend?
01:59We don't even go to the same school. No one would know.
02:01Do you want me to commit social suicide?
02:03Sorry, Liz, I just can't be your fake boyfriend because...
02:07I'm... well...
02:11Are you kidding me?
02:13We are supposed to be best friends!
02:16You guys are dating behind my back!
02:18How could you not tell me?
02:20Hey, uh, it's your 18th birthday, just blow out the candle and wish for a boyfriend.
02:25Yeah.
02:26God, please send me a hot boyfriend. I don't want to run around the school naked.
02:35What the heck? My wish came true.
02:46Hey, Linz, I'll be working late tonight.
02:52Happy 18th, little sis! I've got a special gift to kick off your first year of adulthood.
02:58It's one of my company's latest high-tech products. It's designed to feel just like real skin.
03:00Honestly, it might be better than a real boyfriend. Enjoy! XOXO!
03:04Better than human.
03:06You can talk, too?
03:08God, technology's impressive!
03:09Julie must have spent a fortune on you. You're the most hyper-realistic robot I've ever seen.
03:11What?
03:23I've had a massive surprise to myself.
03:24I'm holding my hand. I'm holding my hand. You're gonna save me, then.
03:26I'm so sorry, yeah.
03:27I'm holding my hand. I said, no.
03:28too? God, technology's impressive. Julie must have spent a fortune on you. You're the most
03:35hyper-realistic robot I've ever seen. What? Aren't you a... a sex robot? I'm not a robot.
03:48You're real? And why are you naked in my bed? You pervert!
03:53Can you stop? This is Coach Johnson's place, right? Yeah, I'm his new starter.
04:01You know my dad? Yeah. I've never seen you before. And?
04:05Go get it! Shit! Can you just be quiet, please, and I will explain everything?
04:25So, why are you in my house? I'm here to play football at Maple Hill Academy.
04:41Coach Johnson, he got me a scholarship and said that he'd house me here.
04:44So I'll be staying here until the end of the season.
04:46So you're like an exchange student. But why are you in my room? A naked, no less, total pervert!
04:55Okay, you're the one who thought I was a sex robot and got to second base without my
04:59consent. So who's the pervert here? It was dark in my room. But you shouldn't be
05:04leaving my bed anyway. Come on, I'll show you to the guest room.
05:19No, no, no!
05:21Geez, his eyelashes are longer than mine. He's gorgeous. Wait, why don't I ask him
05:36to be my boyfriend? I could totally kill my sexless loser image if I slept with him.
05:41What are you doing?
05:43That's my dad.
05:46Lindsey! Lindsey! Wayne! Looks like you two have already met. Getting along just fine.
05:55Um, that's not the point, Dad. Didn't he want to tell me that a stranger was living in
06:00our house? Sorry, Lindsey. Wayne's scholarship didn't cover boarding. I had no choice but to
06:05take him in. So you just stuck him in my room?
06:08Oh, I'm sorry. That was, that was my bad. I went into the wrong room. I didn't know.
06:13Your door's first door on the left. Have a good night, Wayne. Need to talk to Lindsey.
06:18Thanks, Coach. Have a good night.
06:30Dad?
06:31Lindsey, Wayne is a star player. Took a lot of hard work to get him here.
06:36He's gonna take our team to the next level. I hope you can leave him alone and not distract him.
06:42Me? Distract him? Dad, it's my birthday today and the first thing you say when you walk
06:47in is to not distract your star player. God, you only care about football. You were too
06:52busy with the team to see mom before she dies. You know what? I should have never thought
06:57you were gonna change. I won't distract your star player.
07:01Do you remember me?
07:06Does she not remember me?
07:09Blue board 2!
07:10Wayne, stay focused!
07:12Ready!
07:13Next!
07:14That must be the new kid, Wayne Adams. Everyone says he's getting approached by all the top universities.
07:26Okay, well everybody knows that all the hotties at this school are mine.
07:29Wayne Adams is no exception. No one is to go after him. Understood?
07:34Watch out!
07:51Hey! Hey, Lindsay! You okay?
07:54Let me bring you to sit for something.
07:55Help. Come on.
07:56What a pick-me girl. She clearly just did that to get Wayne's attention.
08:01Lindsay, hey! You okay?
08:05What do you think? It hurts.
08:07Why did you throw yourself in front of the ball?
08:09The girl was in a wheelchair. What was I supposed to do?
08:14None of this would have happened if you didn't throw the ball off the field.
08:18Okay, I will take ownership for that problem.
08:34He's tall, cute, gentle.
08:40He's just my type.
08:43But Dad said not to get involved with him.
08:48Hey, Lindsay, I have a party later tonight and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to join me.
09:01Dad!
09:02Wayne! Coach!
09:03Practice isn't over.
09:04You can't leave in the middle of practice.
09:07If you skip out again, it just might affect the college recommendation letter.
09:10I'm writing for you.
09:11Dad, it wasn't Wayne's fault. He left-
09:13Lindsay!
09:14What did I tell you last night?
09:16Dad, I'm hurt.
09:18I'm literally bleeding.
09:20Show us how much you care about your daughter.
09:22Hey!
09:23If I'm not mistaken, you had the nerve to talk to Wayne Adams in class today.
09:27So if I were you, I would go to the bathroom and see what you actually look like.
09:33Because you probably scared him half to death.
09:34Can you leave her alone?
09:35Lindsay, I'm fine.
09:36Don't worry, I got your back.
09:37What do you want?
09:38I want to make an announcement.
09:39I, the captain of the cheerleading team, am going to win over Wayne Adams, the new football star.
09:43And all you losers better stay far away from him. You're all too basic for him anyway.
09:44Fine by me.
09:45Cut the act.
09:46I know you're into him.
09:47Fine by me.
09:48Cut the act.
09:49I know you're into him.
09:50See, I knew it. Face it, Lindsay, he's alive.
09:51So you're a pro-life man.
09:52You know what I'm doing?
09:53You're so happy to be able to be in the bathroom.
09:54All right.
09:55You know what I'm doing?
09:56I don't know what I'm doing.
09:57What do you do?
09:58Why don't you go away from me?
09:59Why don't you leave her alone?
10:00Lindsay, I'm fine.
10:01Don't worry.
10:02I got your back.
10:03What do you want?
10:04I want to make an announcement.
10:05I, the captain of the cheerleading team, am going to win over Wayne Adams, the new football
10:06star.
10:07And all you losers better stay far away from him.
10:10You're all too basic for him anyway.
10:12Fine by me.
10:13Cut the act.
10:14I know you're into him.
10:15See, I knew it.
10:19Face it, Lindsay, he's way out of your league.
10:21He wouldn't give you a second glance even if you were naked in his bed.
10:24What?
10:25Everyone is sick and tired of looking at those badly drawn, uneven eyebrows.
10:32What?
10:33Well, with the way that you worship the ground Wayne walks on, I would think that you're
10:37his dog.
10:38I'm sorry?
10:39Maybe.
10:40The world doesn't revolve around empty-headed clout chasers like you.
10:44How dare you.
10:45That's better, now you're not so horrible to look at.
11:03What's going on?
11:04Wayne!
11:05She did this to me, she ruined my clothes, she put disgusting spaghetti all over me.
11:10You know, I'm pretty sure I wasn't talking to you.
11:14Are you okay?
11:16Never better.
11:18And for you, don't bother her again, because I'm pretty sure Lindsay wouldn't do something
11:23like this unless she was provoked.
11:25Come on.
11:26This isn't over, Lindsay.
11:30Hey!
11:32I brought you something.
11:34Thanks.
11:35Lindsay, Wayne is a star player.
11:39Leave him alone.
11:40Lindsay, he's way out of your league.
11:42They're right.
11:44He deserves someone better.
11:45If I can't be with him, I could at least ask him to hook me up with one of his buddies.
11:50Is everything okay?
11:52Yeah.
11:53It's just petty girl stuff.
11:55Look, so you know how you invited me to that party?
11:58Are you still willing to take me?
12:00Of course, yeah.
12:01Why?
12:02Maybe you can introduce me to your friends.
12:04Why are you suddenly interested in my friends?
12:07I don't want to admit that I'm hoping to find a boyfriend through him.
12:10Hm?
12:11That sounds a bit lame.
12:13Well, we live together now.
12:15And I want to get to know you better.
12:17She wants to get to know me better?
12:19And your friends are probably just as hot as you.
12:22That's a great sign.
12:24Yeah, sure, I'll see you after school.
12:31Great.
12:32I'll see ya.
12:54Hey, Wayne.
13:01What do you think about my outfit?
13:03Do you think your friends are going to like it?
13:06Yeah.
13:07Okay.
13:08Great.
13:09Let's go then.
13:10Hey!
13:11What's up?
13:12What's up, bro?
13:13How are you?
13:14I won't have to streak as long as I find a boyfriend today.
13:17What's up, cutie with the glasses?
13:19You guys want to play a game?
13:21Definitely.
13:22Definitely.
13:23Alright.
13:28Hey, guys.
13:32Lindsey.
13:33My God.
13:34You're never going to find a boyfriend wearing that.
13:36You look like you're going to a church bake sale.
13:38You better be working on your angles because I'm bringing the whole damn paparazzi to your streak across campus.
13:43Was that you, Alyssa?
13:45Sorry I didn't recognize you without the pasta on your head.
13:49Why don't you worry less about me and more about that bird's nest on your head?
13:54Lindsey.
13:55What streak is Alyssa talking about?
13:58Oh, it's nothing.
14:01Alright.
14:02I broke into my dad's liquor cabinet.
14:04Who wants to play Spin the Bottle Truth or Dare?
14:07Oh.
14:08Yeah.
14:09Let's go.
14:18Oh.
14:19Truth.
14:20Name the last three people you've kissed.
14:24I've never kissed anyone.
14:28What?
14:29What?
14:30What?
14:31Oh my God.
14:32I mean, I knew you were a virgin, but I didn't know you'd never even kissed anybody.
14:36Oh.
14:37You already picked Truth.
14:50Gotta do a dare.
14:51Wait, I know.
14:53How about I help you get your first kiss?
14:55Since you're the only girl wearing glasses, how about you kiss the only boy wearing glasses?
15:00Dorks gotta stay together, right?
15:02What?
15:03Suddenly not down to play anymore?
15:04Well, go do a handstand if you can't kiss a social reject.
15:05You can't be serious.
15:06I'm wearing a mini dress.
15:07Say you're a coward.
15:08Who said I was?
15:09Lindsey, we can go home if you don't want to continue playing.
15:11It's okay.
15:12Everyone deserves to be kissed.
15:13We shouldn't talk down on Jeremy.
15:14We shouldn't talk down on Jeremy.
15:15What?
15:16What?
15:17What?
15:18What?
15:19What?
15:20What?
15:21What?
15:22What?
15:23What?
15:24What?
15:25What?
15:26What?
15:27What?
15:28What?
15:29What?
15:30We shouldn't talk down on Jeremy.
15:32That nerd has a name.
15:38So the bet is that Lindsey has to kiss the only boy wearing glasses, right?
15:42Wait, no.
15:43I can help.
15:44Wayne, that's cheating.
15:46Hey, Lindsey.
15:47Hey, the dare is to kiss somebody wearing glasses.
15:50Are you going to kiss Lindsey?
15:52Wayne, that's cheating.
15:53If you want to help her so bad, then kiss that Jeremy guy.
15:55That's my dare.
15:56Nothing else counts.
15:58Wayne, I appreciate you trying to help, but I can't drag you into this.
16:02I can handle it.
16:06Don't worry.
16:07I'll protect you.
16:18You are still the same brave girl I've always known.
16:21I have to handle this on my own.
16:22Hold on.
16:23Just give me one second.
16:27Jeremy, you do think I can borrow your glasses?
16:31Thanks, buddy.
16:38You ready?
16:43Just to be clear, the dare is that Lindsey has to kiss the only boy wearing glasses, right?
16:47Thanks.
16:48You ready for your first kiss?
16:49You ready for your first kiss?
16:50Oh.
16:51Oh.
16:52Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:53Oh, oh.
16:55Oh.
16:56Oh, oh.
16:58Oh, oh.
17:03Oh, oh.
17:04Oh.
17:05Oh, oh.
17:06Oh, oh.
17:07You're the only one.
17:09Oh, oh.
17:10Oh, oh, oh, oh.
17:11Oh, oh.
17:12Oh, oh.
17:13Oh, oh.
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