00:00Did he not rehearse? Did he have a stroke? Should we call an ambulance?
00:08Oh wow, there's Meryl Streep and Brad Pitt. Dammit, I would die to work with Meryl and I'll show up no idea who I am.
00:16And Brad is even hotter in person. I want to die.
00:21Back when I was in Wicked, there were so many celebrities who would come backstage to meet me after the show.
00:25And I didn't want to keep them waiting, you know, so I wouldn't take a shower to wash off all the green makeup and I'd meet them all stinky with a full face of green makeup.
00:34But then, when I go to all these parties in Hollywood, no one ever recognizes me.
00:39Now, I'm an animated blonde Norwegian-looking 12-year-old with anorexic arms and blue eyes the size of grapefruits.
00:46But really, I'm a middle-aged Jewish-American princess with 34 double-D boobs, soon to be on a waiting list for Rosampton.
00:55But I will never know the real me.
01:01You want your whole career to get to the Oscars, so get your act together.
01:08I should have peed, now I have to pee.
01:11And that's what you get for having a baby in your late 30s.
01:17Nothing springs back.
01:18Is he going to apologize?
01:23Sing to your son, sing to Walker, but sing it in tune, cause the kitties notice everything.
01:32Sing to your son, sing to Walker, and that was always my plan.
01:37If it gets super nervous, just sing to your son, sing to your son.
01:43Who the fuck's Adele Dizzy for the cue card switch?
01:47This isn't helping, just let it go, bitch.
01:50Oh shit, that's the song.
01:52Okay, you're a pro.
01:54Just get out there, Adele.
01:55I need a date on!
01:56And sing to your son, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song, and that's the song
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