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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Let's go.
00:00:07Oh, you jump it?
00:00:09That's a good jump.
00:00:11Get the ball, Steve.
00:00:12Get it.
00:00:13Get the ball.
00:00:14You want to play with your brother?
00:00:15Cabot, Steve, come play with Cabot.
00:00:17What?
00:00:17I don't want you to hit your brother.
00:00:20Come on, Cab.
00:00:30I don't want you to hit your brother.
00:00:40Picture this.
00:00:41A warehouse.
00:00:42About 20,000 square feet.
00:00:44Windows along the side.
00:00:45Looks like an ordinary warehouse.
00:00:48Until you get closer.
00:00:49And all you see are heads.
00:00:52Heads?
00:00:53What kind of heads are you talking about?
00:00:55Heads.
00:00:56Happy heads.
00:00:56Smiling heads.
00:00:57Heads drifting in and out of the windows.
00:01:00A projection of heads?
00:01:01Like a jumbo truck?
00:01:03No, real heads.
00:01:04Heads defying gravity.
00:01:05There are heads everywhere.
00:01:07Everyone's having fun.
00:01:09Good, genuine fun.
00:01:11Trampoline world.
00:01:14First of its kind in the state of Louisiana.
00:01:16Hey, Cab.
00:01:17You feel like working today, huh?
00:01:20See, you take the hammer.
00:01:22Take the nail.
00:01:23You swing the hammer.
00:01:26And then when all the nails are in,
00:01:28we get paid.
00:01:28And then we get to go home.
00:01:34Cab, I want to ask you a question.
00:01:36You think grown-ass adults from Louisiana
00:01:39are going to come to a building
00:01:41full of trampolines
00:01:42and jump around?
00:01:44Well, gymnastics and trampoline
00:01:45are amongst the fastest growing sports in America.
00:01:47Well, so is obesity.
00:01:48No offense, brother, but you need to get laid.
00:01:54Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:01:56He still hasn't done any fucking since the incident?
00:01:58Nope.
00:02:02Gah!
00:02:03Why'd you have to go bring up the incident?
00:02:04I didn't bring up the incident.
00:02:06All right, that's fucking wrong.
00:02:07So let's get off the goddamn room.
00:02:09Let's go out of here.
00:02:09Where do you want to go with me?
00:02:11I think I want to go to a titty ball.
00:02:14Are you going to work at all today, Cab?
00:02:17Just give me a minute.
00:02:19You know, you got to forget about Angie, man.
00:02:21Maybe the boys are right.
00:02:22Maybe you got to get back out there and get laid.
00:02:25Listen, it's time for you to get back in the game.
00:02:27I am in the game.
00:02:28I'm just not having sex.
00:02:34I'm having sex guaranteed.
00:02:41My better self I just won't need.
00:02:50There's no curse.
00:02:51You're not cursed.
00:02:54Can't let one girl ruin your whole goddamn life, Kevin.
00:02:58Oh, shit.
00:03:15Gah.
00:03:17Gah, you're so stupid, Kevin.
00:03:20That apron suits you.
00:03:22You should keep it.
00:03:23Oh, and please, take whatever you like from the Les Crusades stuff.
00:03:27You're back.
00:03:33Stupid, Kevin.
00:03:35You doing okay there, senor?
00:03:38Oh, hey.
00:03:40Yeah, I'm good.
00:03:43You don't mind if we take the silvers?
00:03:45No, it's cool.
00:03:46Oh, that's nice.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:53No problem.
00:03:56Guy's giving you a hard time up there?
00:03:59Who?
00:04:00Oh.
00:04:01No.
00:04:04What do you think her name is?
00:04:07I was going to go with Muriel or Sasha.
00:04:12Think Sasha's married?
00:04:13Uh, yeah.
00:04:17Maybe.
00:04:18I don't know.
00:04:19One thing I can tell you about catering.
00:04:22Some of these girls really know how to party.
00:04:25Whoa.
00:04:26You just got a smile.
00:04:29What?
00:04:30No, I don't think so.
00:04:31You did.
00:04:32I saw her, man.
00:04:34Nah.
00:04:34Mmm.
00:04:39Juicy.
00:04:40So is this guy an asshole?
00:04:42What guy?
00:04:44Uh, guy whose house this is.
00:04:48What makes you say that?
00:04:50He's got a chair in the shape of a hand.
00:04:56You don't like the chair?
00:04:58Anyone who has enough money to buy joke furniture is probably an asshole.
00:05:02It wasn't meant to be funny.
00:05:06Oh, shit.
00:05:07I'm sorry.
00:05:07No, you have a really great house.
00:05:10What's your name?
00:05:12Kevin.
00:05:13What do you say, Kev?
00:05:15Call me Hank.
00:05:18You should come to my party tonight.
00:05:21There's going to be a lot of women here.
00:05:22And a lot of these ladies are going to be high on narcotics.
00:05:28Oh.
00:05:29All right.
00:05:30I'm good.
00:05:30Are you?
00:05:32Are you good?
00:05:36Okay.
00:05:39Party starts at 8.
00:05:40Hope to see it.
00:05:42Oh, and, uh, if you want the hand chair, it's yours.
00:05:52Party!
00:05:53Party!
00:05:53Party!
00:05:53Party!
00:05:57Party!
00:05:58Party!
00:05:59Party!
00:06:00Party!
00:06:00Party!
00:06:01Party!
00:06:02Party!
00:06:02Party!
00:06:02Party!
00:06:07Party!
00:06:07Well, I mean, I don't know him, but I feel sad for him.
00:06:11What does he do?
00:06:11Huh?
00:06:12What is he doing up there?
00:06:14He's a roofer.
00:06:14He's roofing up on the house.
00:06:16And he wasn't, he was a nice guy.
00:06:18I mean, I didn't get to talk to him, but...
00:06:19He shouldn't be giving people rupees, man.
00:06:22Party!
00:06:23Party!
00:06:24Party!
00:06:24Party!
00:06:24Party!
00:06:25Party!
00:06:25Party!
00:06:26Party!
00:06:27Party!
00:06:27Party!
00:06:27Party!
00:06:28Party!
00:06:29Party!
00:06:29Show me that cork trick again.
00:06:31He showed you like 30 times.
00:06:33It takes brains, bro.
00:06:35Whatever. At least I don't think my dick is cursed.
00:06:37What did I say? I don't want to talk about it.
00:06:39Why? Just tell us. Come on.
00:06:40He sounds like an idiot when he talks about it.
00:06:42No, because every time I even think about sex,
00:06:45something bad happens.
00:06:46You bring up Angie today,
00:06:47and I nearly take off my thumb with a claw hand.
00:06:49Let me see. Let me see that.
00:06:50My dick is cursed in the story.
00:06:52So you think it's possessed
00:06:54or is it surrounded by, like, paranormal activity?
00:06:59You're such a good-looking kid.
00:07:08He swears off sex.
00:07:11And it's a crime against nature.
00:07:13Are you still talking about the roofer?
00:07:16Yeah, he just seems so sad, you know?
00:07:19You know what a coke loop is?
00:07:21Man, you're like a hamster in a wormhole.
00:07:24I can't, I just, I can't hear it anymore, Hank.
00:07:26I'm going insane.
00:07:28Ow!
00:07:32I've just had a revelation of magnitude.
00:07:35Oh, Carl, this is big.
00:07:37Can you see how big?
00:07:39It's f***ing big.
00:07:41I'm gonna get this kid laid.
00:07:43This is, this is fate.
00:07:46I have to get this kid laid.
00:07:48Ah, you're damn straight, you do.
00:07:51I can see it so clearly.
00:07:54Ah.
00:07:55Has anyone seen my phone?
00:08:00You f***ing kidding me?
00:08:01You told everyone to leave your phone here.
00:08:02Where's my phone?
00:08:03Oh, I gotta find him.
00:08:04Yeah.
00:08:05You're kidding, right?
00:08:06It's too much responsibility.
00:08:07I can't deal with that.
00:08:09Steve.
00:08:10Steve, we're late.
00:08:12Kevin, relax.
00:08:13I'm coming.
00:08:14Nice outfit.
00:08:15Haven't seen that since First Little Community.
00:08:16Better than shorts.
00:08:17Why?
00:08:18It's the business meeting.
00:08:19It's Ted.
00:08:20He knows us.
00:08:21I don't want him going around telling Angie we're some kind of joke.
00:08:23Jesus Christ, Kev.
00:08:24You gotta stop stressing out about this Angie thing, you know?
00:08:26It's been over a year.
00:08:27It's been nine months.
00:08:28I'm close enough.
00:08:30Okay, so, trampoline world.
00:08:32We'll have six four by four rebounders over there.
00:08:34That's where we're in.
00:08:35We're in.
00:08:36We're in.
00:08:37We're in.
00:08:38We're in.
00:08:39We're in.
00:08:40We're in.
00:08:41We're in.
00:08:42We're in.
00:08:43We're in.
00:08:44We're in.
00:08:45We're in.
00:08:46We're in.
00:08:47We're in.
00:08:48We're in.
00:08:49We're in.
00:08:50We're in.
00:08:51We're in.
00:08:52We're in.
00:08:53We're in.
00:08:54Oh!
00:08:55We have some Azar fromiche II Grand.
00:08:56And uh, two six by six Olympics in the back there.
00:08:58Kids jumping everywhere.
00:09:013D dodge ball.
00:09:03Isn't all dodgeball 3D?
00:09:04Um, 4D Dodgeball.
00:09:07Do people really want to go trampolining?
00:09:10Oh, trampolining is one of the fastest growing sports in America.
00:09:13Funny, I guess I missed the trampoline Super Bowl last year.
00:09:20Sorry, that's in poor taste.
00:09:21Look, boys, I loved your daddy, all right?
00:09:24But he really never was very good at math either.
00:09:28Look, what I'm trying to say is y'all's numbers don't add up.
00:09:31You see, what happens to the trampoline world
00:09:33if you don't make your nut the first two months, hmm?
00:09:36You shut her down?
00:09:39Well, no, we just...
00:09:40No?
00:09:41So how do you make payroll?
00:09:45How about you just come in for $10,000?
00:09:46$10,000.
00:09:47I could do that.
00:09:48What happens to my $10,000 if you don't sell the other shares?
00:09:55Got anything, Steve?
00:09:57No.
00:09:58I lose it.
00:09:59Just what I thought.
00:10:01I just don't get it.
00:10:03Sorry, I'm out.
00:10:09Why don't you jump in?
00:10:10Honestly, I don't get the plan myself.
00:10:18I should go on a vacation or something.
00:10:22In Costa Rica.
00:10:24A beach would be nice.
00:10:26I mean, maybe right now is not the right time for trampoline world.
00:10:29I mean, it might be the right idea, just not the right time.
00:10:32Well, it has to be.
00:10:33Huh?
00:10:35I already put down a deposit.
00:10:38A deposit with what?
00:10:39I took a note out on the house.
00:10:51Kev, you've got to be f***ing kidding me.
00:10:53Did you even read this thing?
00:10:55Celine.
00:10:56Dude, you lose a f***ing home.
00:10:58It's not.
00:10:59A trampoline world succeeds.
00:11:03Trampoline, are you kidding me?
00:11:04Seriously, though.
00:11:09The female fruit bat?
00:11:10She next to Mel's f***ing why they having sex.
00:11:13How is that even possible?
00:11:15She bends.
00:11:16The female fruit bat is very bendy.
00:11:18Wouldn't that make it shorter?
00:11:20Apparently not for the fruit bat.
00:11:23Hello.
00:11:24Hey, it's me.
00:11:25It's Hank.
00:11:26Oh.
00:11:26Hey, Hank.
00:11:27You missed my party, man.
00:11:28Yeah, sorry about that.
00:11:30Something came off.
00:11:31I want to do something.
00:11:32But I can't understand you.
00:11:34I'm talking sex guaranteed, man.
00:11:36What's the text guaranteed?
00:11:37Not text.
00:11:38Sex.
00:11:39Oh, sex.
00:11:40I'm here with this amazing creature.
00:11:43She's called Zade.
00:11:44She's amazing.
00:11:46Now, Zade wants to have sex with you.
00:11:52Oh, is she desperate?
00:11:54No, she's not desperate, okay?
00:11:56This is her job.
00:11:57I don't know.
00:11:57I'm having sex with a hooker.
00:11:59She's not a prostitute, okay?
00:12:00She's, she's like a, an expert.
00:12:07Um, let's say a sexpert.
00:12:11She's just got a lot of sexpertise, you know what I mean?
00:12:15Well, that's nice of you, man, but that's not really my thing.
00:12:19Oh, come on, man.
00:12:20Relax.
00:12:21This is real intimacy.
00:12:24And frankly, it sounds like you need it.
00:12:27I don't, I don't understand what you mean.
00:12:30Think of her like a chef.
00:12:31Like, you know, a chef that comes to somebody's house, cooks him a meal, but just for you.
00:12:36And this chef makes a thousand dollars an hour.
00:12:39Thousand dollars?
00:12:40Just listen to me.
00:12:43This is fate calling, Kevin.
00:12:47Drop the hammer, get off the roof, and get your f***ers to my party.
00:12:51Yo, Kev, what the hell is sex guaranteed, man?
00:12:56That guy Hank just called me and invited me over to have sex.
00:12:59Can you believe that?
00:13:01He's out of his mind I'm not having sex with a hooker.
00:13:03Hookers don't count.
00:13:06Everyone counts.
00:13:07Not hookers.
00:13:08It's not the same as another girl.
00:13:09They're a subset.
00:13:11So what's a thousand dollars about?
00:13:14Like I said, it's how much she costs.
00:13:15A day?
00:13:16I'm thinking an hour.
00:13:18Oh, you gotta do it.
00:13:19It'll be like f***ing professor of sex.
00:13:21She's gonna know more s*** than you never even thought of.
00:13:24It's gonna be like, like, caving with like a minor.
00:13:28No, no, he's right.
00:13:30This could be good for you, Kevin.
00:13:31It's confronting your fears.
00:13:31This could break the curse.
00:13:34I'm not doing it.
00:13:35It's just stupid.
00:13:36I'm not going.
00:13:36Oh, you're doing it.
00:13:38Man, dude might throw you some cash for, you know, your bouncing heads and whatnot.
00:13:42Yeah, I mean, I guess I could stop by and then I wouldn't have to have the sex, right?
00:13:45It's a rich guy getting f***ed up in a goddamn mansion.
00:13:49This is your investor.
00:13:52Come on, we're going right now.
00:13:56Did we just not get invited to the party?
00:13:58That's some bulls***.
00:14:00These are the rules of the egg fight.
00:14:09Open hand strikes only.
00:14:11There will be no fists allowed.
00:14:14Should the egg crack in your mouth, spit it out, stupid.
00:14:19Because you are the vanquish.
00:14:22All right.
00:14:23Commence.
00:14:24You have offended me.
00:14:43I think I'm going to start with the fastest growing stuff first and then move into our big vision for the place.
00:14:47Maybe you want to, you know, play along a little bit before you start asking for money.
00:14:51Look, if I grab the whole investment block here today, I mean, I could take Angie to the place.
00:14:56I could show her the lease.
00:14:57Get about Angie.
00:14:58This is about money.
00:15:00If this guy wants to get you laid, then let him get you laid.
00:15:03You've got to do whatever this guy wants so that he will give you the money.
00:15:09It's a logical investment.
00:15:14I know it is.
00:15:16Be a man.
00:15:17Give me a man.
00:15:29Hi.
00:15:30Um.
00:15:32I was invited by the owner of the house.
00:15:36Oh, Jesus.
00:15:37Sorry.
00:15:37Um.
00:15:47Oh, uh, sorry.
00:16:12Woo!
00:16:13Whoo!
00:16:20Go, go, go, go!
00:16:22Whoo!
00:16:23Yeah!
00:16:26Whoo!
00:16:38Whoo!
00:16:42Yeah, that, you do it!
00:16:43What do you say, Kevin?
00:16:52You made it, buddy.
00:16:54I thought you might not show.
00:16:55Drink?
00:16:56Yeah, sure.
00:16:57Take a seat.
00:16:58This is the guy?
00:17:00Kevin, I'd like to introduce you to Zade.
00:17:04Zade, this is Kevin.
00:17:11Hi, I'm Zade.
00:17:14So how's life, Kevin?
00:17:16Life's good.
00:17:26There you go, Kev.
00:17:28You know that business I was telling you about?
00:17:32Yeah, it's trampolining.
00:17:36Jumping.
00:17:37You got a business model for that?
00:17:38How do you monetize that?
00:17:39Yeah, trampolining is one of the fastest growing sports in America.
00:17:43They have in schools now.
00:17:44It's huge in Asia.
00:17:47How high do people get?
00:17:50Three-footers average, but professionals get a bit higher.
00:17:53They got all kinds of stuff.
00:17:54Like what?
00:17:56Oh, there's Skyslamp basketball, phone pits, synchronized trampolining.
00:18:02Synchronized trampolining?
00:18:04Synchronized trampolining?
00:18:05That's great.
00:18:06Yeah, you just get two trampolines side-by-side with some athletes on one and the other.
00:18:11And they actually got their own medal section at the Olympics.
00:18:15Yeah, now we're in the rhythm, see?
00:18:18This is great.
00:18:20Yeah, this is pretty good.
00:18:21Yes!
00:18:23With weekend traffic, we expect $500, and with an entry fee of $12.20, it's going to be
00:18:29a real earner.
00:18:30How many of these trampolines you got over at your place?
00:18:33And how many people can actually synchronize at any one time?
00:18:37Oh, well, we're thinking of starting with, you know, 30 trampolines.
00:18:41Oh, Jesus.
00:18:41Huh.
00:18:42I could actually take you guys there right now.
00:18:44Let's do, um, let's do, I'm going to count to three, and then we'll do, like, a star jump.
00:18:49Okay.
00:18:49Okay, good.
00:18:50Okay.
00:18:51One, two, three.
00:18:54Oh, Jesus.
00:18:56Sorry.
00:18:57Let me tell you something.
00:18:58That is a terrible investment.
00:19:00Kids?
00:19:01They're unliable, fickle.
00:19:04Think about the liability.
00:19:05Who would have it to him?
00:19:06Carl, please.
00:19:07Come on, man.
00:19:08He's speaking about his dream, his passion.
00:19:11His passion.
00:19:13Right.
00:19:14I want you two to get to know each other.
00:19:17Have a little longer time.
00:19:18Okay?
00:19:19Citizens!
00:19:20Everybody!
00:19:21We're all moving to the tennis court right now!
00:19:23Tennis!
00:19:24Whoa, we'll come with you.
00:19:25No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:19:26You can say it here.
00:19:27She's going to make everything all right.
00:19:29Yeah, but...
00:19:31I want this to happen.
00:19:33Yeah.
00:19:35Wait a minute.
00:19:35How come she can't come with...
00:19:37Carl!
00:19:38The tennis court, man.
00:19:39Come on!
00:19:39Okay, um...
00:19:48Hi, Ben.
00:19:49Hi.
00:19:52You guys head to the game room, grab the rackets, meet you on the court, man.
00:19:57You got it.
00:19:58Hey, where are you going?
00:20:01Putting on my whites.
00:20:05I get really wet, really quick.
00:20:09Tom, that's cool.
00:20:11What do you like?
00:20:13I'll do anything.
00:20:14You want me to be someone?
00:20:17Hmm?
00:20:18Who do you want me to be?
00:20:19It's not that you don't understand, okay?
00:20:25None of this was your fault.
00:20:28I was broken and useless before you left me.
00:20:33It's like I don't even know how regular people breathe anymore.
00:20:38And I love you, and I want to thank you for being so patient with me for so long.
00:20:49Yeah.
00:20:50Yeah.
00:20:50Yeah.
00:20:51Yeah.
00:20:53There will be a lot of talking now.
00:20:56I will be stopping you.
00:20:58Oh, yeah.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:02Well, I've learned now that I'm not good enough for you, Karen.
00:21:08Never was.
00:21:14Not even good enough for this world anymore.
00:21:21But for once, for once I'm going to do the right thing.
00:21:29Au revoir, Cherie.
00:21:33Au revoir.
00:21:36Look, you're so hot.
00:21:37Okay?
00:21:38It's not you.
00:21:39It's me.
00:21:40What do you want?
00:21:42You want to get weird?
00:21:44No, I don't want to get weird.
00:21:49I want to fuck you.
00:21:52Okay.
00:21:52I'm getting paid to fuck you.
00:21:55If I don't fuck you, I look bad.
00:21:57And this is a new gig for me.
00:21:59So how about you just let me fuck you, and we both go about our business?
00:22:03Look, obviously, I want to, okay?
00:22:04You're beautiful.
00:22:05But I'm on a hiatus right now.
00:22:09There's this other girl, okay?
00:22:11Well, it's her hiatus, really.
00:22:12But I just, I'm not having sex right now, okay?
00:22:15I'm happy to lie for you.
00:22:17I'm a good salesman.
00:22:18Don't fuck you.
00:22:23You won't fuck me.
00:22:24Sorry, Hank.
00:22:25I will fuck her.
00:22:29I should kill her.
00:22:31It'll make you feel better.
00:22:32Kevin, please.
00:22:33I'm not going to beg him.
00:22:35We were having fun before this asswipe showed up.
00:22:37I'm sorry.
00:22:38Go.
00:22:40You're not going.
00:22:41How's about that?
00:22:43Kevin here wants to win his lady back and thinks that celibacy is the way to go.
00:22:48Not always the way, no.
00:22:50Absolutely not.
00:22:51If you really want her back, the first thing you should do is fuck me.
00:22:55She makes a compelling argument, Kev.
00:22:57Why don't we just go somewhere quiet so we can at least talk?
00:23:06Look, if I told you the reason I don't want to do it, you'd understand.
00:23:09No one's judging here.
00:23:11It's a house rule.
00:23:12This is a no-judgment zone, okay?
00:23:15It's personal.
00:23:16It's...
00:23:17I've got this problem.
00:23:19Is it a word?
00:23:22No, it's not that kind of thing.
00:23:23It's...
00:23:24It's like my dick is cursed.
00:23:28What?
00:23:30The first time I fucked off, right?
00:23:33I'm in bed sick, home from school, and I'm watching TV, and the shuttle Columbia breaks apart on re-entry.
00:23:41You think you made the space shuttle explode?
00:23:47Indirectly.
00:23:48Yeah, but that was an accident.
00:23:50You can't take that personally.
00:23:54First girl I had sex with almost died.
00:23:57Zayf, please.
00:24:00I'm serious.
00:24:01We were 16, and we'd been dating for about a month.
00:24:05Well, the parents were out of town, so we had a little wine.
00:24:09And we're making noises, and she starts to scream, so I think I'm doing awesome.
00:24:14But then, she ruptured a cyst or something, and she has to have surgery.
00:24:21And for the next three days, we're in the hospital.
00:24:24She had them before she met you.
00:24:27You're missing the point.
00:24:29Nine months ago, I was engaged to the most wonderful girl in the world.
00:24:34We were at our joint bachelor and bachelorette party.
00:24:38Wait a minute.
00:24:54That's not you being cursed.
00:24:56That's you getting caught getting a blowjob off a stripper.
00:24:59Yeah, because I'm a horny asshole, and I just should have said no.
00:25:03Anyways, I tried to explain myself.
00:25:06Angie, she died in my hands!
00:25:08Angie!
00:25:09She moved out the next day.
00:25:11Because of my dick, I lost the one thing I ever truly cared about.
00:25:19I mean, that's the saddest story I've ever heard.
00:25:25You just got caught cheating.
00:25:26End of story.
00:25:27No, no.
00:25:29That's way too many things to happen to one guy.
00:25:32He lost his one true love.
00:25:34There's nothing worse than the whole world.
00:25:36He's just a narcissist.
00:25:41How am I a narcissist?
00:25:42You think the world revolves around your dick.
00:25:45I don't want it to.
00:25:46It just does.
00:25:47No.
00:25:48Shit happens.
00:25:49It's just life.
00:25:50Didn't you hear his story?
00:25:52This man is cursed.
00:25:55This is ridiculous.
00:25:57None of this is connected.
00:25:59Let's just have sex.
00:26:00Nothing bad is going to happen.
00:26:01Are you serious right now?
00:26:03After everything I just told you, you still want to have sex with me?
00:26:05Trust me.
00:26:06I know what I'm doing.
00:26:08And we don't have to have sex.
00:26:09I can just touch it.
00:26:11Just do it, Kev.
00:26:13Give it a try.
00:26:15See?
00:26:15Isn't that nice?
00:26:19Guys, Carl's in trouble.
00:26:20We need help.
00:26:21Come on.
00:26:21Shh.
00:26:22Shh.
00:26:22Shh.
00:26:22Shh.
00:26:29Jesus.
00:26:31Yeah, too many little blue pills, baby.
00:26:34Okay, there's something wrong here.
00:26:36I'm in pain.
00:26:37Carl, be honest with me.
00:26:39How many did you take?
00:26:40130 milligrams.
00:26:43God, man.
00:26:44You're not a rhinoceros.
00:26:46Get some ice, Kevin, now.
00:26:51Oh, my God.
00:26:56Brady, Brady.
00:26:58You got ice.
00:26:58All right.
00:26:59What the hell is this?
00:27:02Ready?
00:27:03All right, Carl.
00:27:09Listen, you got this.
00:27:10You can do this.
00:27:11I know you can, all right?
00:27:12It's like an itch.
00:27:13You just have to disassociate yourself from it.
00:27:15Trust him, Carl.
00:27:17Okay, look.
00:27:18I haven't had sex in nine months, okay?
00:27:20I know what I'm doing.
00:27:20Just listen to me.
00:27:22Right.
00:27:23What I want you to do is imagine you're Anne Frank.
00:27:25Please take me to the hospital.
00:27:27Carl, what you've got is called priapism.
00:27:29No hospitals.
00:27:31I know a better place.
00:27:32Hey, straight ahead.
00:27:34Whatever you say, boss.
00:27:42Ever notice how people are only really real when they're sick or they're dying?
00:27:48Or orgasmic.
00:27:49That thing's always come from sex.
00:27:51Oh, shut up.
00:27:52It's true.
00:27:52Without sex, there wouldn't be fighting, divorce, wars.
00:27:56What the f*** are you talking about?
00:27:58Without sex, there's also no release.
00:28:01No fun.
00:28:04Okay, bad things come from recreational sex.
00:28:07What's recreational sex to you?
00:28:09Careless sex.
00:28:10Sex that nobody put any thought into.
00:28:12Oh, my God.
00:28:14You are a freak.
00:28:15What's in this?
00:28:21IV therapy.
00:28:22They have my recipe on file.
00:28:25I'm serious.
00:28:26I'm not going to let this guy's life be ruined.
00:28:29How are you going to do that?
00:28:30That's nice, Hank, but there's nothing you can do.
00:28:32I need to just make my business a success and hope that Angie sees I've changed.
00:28:37Yes.
00:28:39That's it.
00:28:40You got it.
00:28:42You're going to go to Angie's.
00:28:43You're going to tell her that your trampoline thing he's got off the ground.
00:28:46And you're a new man.
00:28:47Yeah, but...
00:28:47You're a genius.
00:28:49But that's not true.
00:28:50It is true.
00:28:51You let me fix this.
00:28:52And I'll invest in trampoline world.
00:28:57What?
00:28:59I'll give you the money.
00:29:01You're going to give me the money?
00:29:04I'll give you the startup funds, yes.
00:29:06How much can it cost?
00:29:08250, 300 grand?
00:29:10I need $60,000.
00:29:14You only need 60 grand to start a business in America?
00:29:19How f***ing great country this is, huh?
00:29:21All right, I'm going to get you the money.
00:29:24We're going to go talk to her, tell her all about it.
00:29:25We're going to clean this whole mess up today.
00:29:28But we can't go see her today.
00:29:29I mean, I need to make sure the business is up and running.
00:29:32And then...
00:29:32No.
00:29:33No.
00:29:34We're doing it today.
00:29:35We're doing it now.
00:29:37I'm not letting your one true love get away.
00:29:39We are going to her house right now.
00:29:42I'm not letting you make the same mistakes I've made.
00:29:46I'm going to get this done if it's the last thing I do.
00:29:48Why are you being so nice to me, eh?
00:29:57Love is the most important thing in the world, man.
00:30:01It's what everything's about.
00:30:03Without love, you got nothing.
00:30:06Zero.
00:30:07I'm not letting you disappear, Kev.
00:30:10Come on.
00:30:11Really?
00:30:15Hello, darling.
00:30:17I can have her own pen and glutes.
00:30:18This is my only pen.
00:30:20I need it for my charts.
00:30:23I'm good for it.
00:30:24I cross my heart.
00:30:27Let me see that arm.
00:30:29The 60, right?
00:30:30Yeah.
00:30:31Okay.
00:30:32Let's make it 80.
00:30:34What's the date today?
00:30:36The 31st.
00:30:3831st.
00:30:39Hey.
00:30:41Here we are.
00:30:42Yeah.
00:30:43I don't know what to say.
00:30:46Just get the girl back, and we're all square.
00:30:50I'll see you outside.
00:30:56So how'd you get in this line of work?
00:30:58I like sex.
00:31:00I pretty much f*** everyone I go on a date with anyway,
00:31:03so I thought I might as well get paid for it.
00:31:06Isn't it dangerous?
00:31:08No.
00:31:09What if you don't want to do it?
00:31:10I don't do it.
00:31:11Isn't it degrading?
00:31:12I mean...
00:31:13Here's the deal.
00:31:13Sandy's gonna stay with Carl, not giving her combat pay.
00:31:16She's gonna get him up and moving out.
00:31:20I feel fantastic.
00:31:23Okay, pop the trunk.
00:31:24I'm gonna change.
00:31:27Thank you, Zade.
00:31:28Always gotta be prepared.
00:31:41Okay.
00:31:42So let's focus.
00:31:43Where do we find this, Angie?
00:31:45Why can't I just show a better word?
00:31:47Why not?
00:31:48What's she do?
00:31:49Well, she's a school teacher.
00:31:50Of course she is.
00:31:52God, love teachers.
00:31:53What's she teach?
00:31:54Reading?
00:31:55Math?
00:31:56P.E.
00:31:58She doesn't teach trampolining by any chance?
00:32:00No.
00:32:02I mean, she does, but that's not all she does.
00:32:05I mean, she...
00:32:05I love this.
00:32:06We're gonna go to the school.
00:32:08She'll be getting off soon.
00:32:09You're gonna tell her you're sorry in front of the kids.
00:32:11It'll be like in all those films.
00:32:13Then the kids will tell her to kiss you.
00:32:15It'll be great.
00:32:17I don't think we should go anywhere near her work.
00:32:19Do you want the 80 grand or not?
00:32:31Oh, boy.
00:32:36Okay.
00:32:37You're gonna go in there.
00:32:39You're gonna tell her you're a big success now
00:32:41and that you want her back.
00:32:43And why is she gonna believe I'm some big success now?
00:32:47Because you've got my IOU.
00:32:48Yeah.
00:32:50Breaking on my arm.
00:32:51It sure is.
00:32:54Okay.
00:32:55Then I'll take a photo.
00:32:56I'll take a picture of your arm
00:32:58and it'll act as a legal note.
00:33:00Why don't you just write him a check?
00:33:05Okay.
00:33:05What's your name, Kevin?
00:33:07Uh, McDonald.
00:33:08Uh, M-A-C.
00:33:09McDonald.
00:33:12All right.
00:33:13We're gonna wait for you here.
00:33:16This is a bad idea.
00:33:18I mean, this...
00:33:19First of all, it's not a bad idea.
00:33:21Okay?
00:33:22And frankly, personally, I'm insulted with your negativity.
00:33:26You've got to show this woman that you're invested in her, man.
00:33:30You've got to do something dramatic.
00:33:32That's romantic.
00:33:33Yeah, but...
00:33:34It's just not normal.
00:33:38Well, let me tell you something, Captain McDonald.
00:33:41All grand passions are abnormal.
00:33:46That's what makes them grand.
00:33:50Go get him, kid.
00:33:53Here goes nothing.
00:33:54Hey, should we go with him?
00:34:01Man, I hated school.
00:34:08Me too.
00:34:09I loved it.
00:34:10Best time of my life.
00:34:13Being a kid.
00:34:14Is this whole trampolining thing a ploy to get her back?
00:34:22No.
00:34:23You know she didn't leave you because of the blowjob.
00:34:25Shh, come on.
00:34:26She did.
00:34:28No.
00:34:28No one ever leaves someone because of sex.
00:34:31What are you talking about?
00:34:32People leave each other all the time because of affairs.
00:34:34They don't.
00:34:34They leave because they don't love each other enough.
00:34:37And that's why the affair happens.
00:34:38Well, I love Angie.
00:34:42Always have.
00:34:43Not enough.
00:34:44You wouldn't have gotten a blowjob if you did.
00:34:46Here we go.
00:34:47Game time.
00:34:48Can I help you?
00:34:50Yeah.
00:34:51We're here to see Angie Cooper.
00:34:52And who are you?
00:34:54I'm just a friend.
00:34:55An old friend of hers.
00:34:56And who are you two?
00:34:58We're new friends.
00:34:59Mm-hmm.
00:35:00I remember the chairs being bigger.
00:35:03Does everyone say that?
00:35:05Miss Cooper isn't in today.
00:35:08She's ill.
00:35:09Oh, God.
00:35:10What's wrong with her?
00:35:11Well, I can't divulge personal information.
00:35:13I'd be happy to send her a message.
00:35:15Great.
00:35:16Yeah, if you could just tell her that Kevin...
00:35:17No, no.
00:35:17That's fine.
00:35:18I'll call her.
00:35:19Mm-hmm.
00:35:20Thanks.
00:35:22Lame.
00:35:23Lovely school.
00:35:31We're gonna spread out.
00:35:33She's sick, so she's vulnerable.
00:35:36We need to put together a care package that says, I love you.
00:35:39That says, I'm gonna look after you forever.
00:35:43I'll take aisles one and two.
00:35:45Kevin, three and four.
00:35:46Zade, five and six.
00:35:47How long have you known him?
00:35:53Nine hours, give or take.
00:36:01I think this is a good idea.
00:36:03I mean, wouldn't you think it was weird if your ex showed up at your house with a stranger and a cross?
00:36:08Another alert or look, another lady.
00:36:13I'd probably find that weird, but that's also why I'd like it.
00:36:18If you'd like it.
00:36:19Why not?
00:36:20Show the imagination.
00:36:21Maybe, but Angie's not like you.
00:36:23How is she different?
00:36:25I don't know.
00:36:27She just doesn't talk about sex all the time.
00:36:28I get it.
00:36:32Holy shit.
00:36:33You're a f***ing prude.
00:36:36I'm not a prude.
00:36:37Then why do you scrim at any mention of anything sexual?
00:36:41Prudish.
00:36:42Not prudish.
00:36:43I am not prudish.
00:36:44Not at all.
00:36:45Then prove it.
00:36:46What are three words that, when put together, get nasty?
00:36:50I'm not doing this.
00:36:52Three words.
00:36:53I'm not playing, Zade.
00:36:56You are not very madly, are you, Kev?
00:37:01Smelly poop truck.
00:37:02That's it.
00:37:04Three more.
00:37:05Disgust me.
00:37:07You know, you're really smart.
00:37:10I'm really pretty.
00:37:11You don't have to be so aggressive.
00:37:15Baggy, vag, mouth!
00:37:18I'm really sorry.
00:37:19I was just making a joke.
00:37:21What was a joke?
00:37:23Excuse me?
00:37:25I didn't hear it.
00:37:26What was the joke?
00:37:29Knock, knock.
00:37:31Who's there?
00:37:32Isabel.
00:37:33Isabel who?
00:37:35Isabel necessary on a bicycle?
00:37:38Shit, I'm sorry.
00:37:40I even asked.
00:37:45I thought it was funny.
00:37:46You totally fell apart back there.
00:38:01I did not.
00:38:03Man, you did.
00:38:04Like a little girl.
00:38:06And that isn't technically a word, by the way.
00:38:09Well, you're not technically a businessman.
00:38:11Yes, I am.
00:38:12No, you're not.
00:38:14Look at you.
00:38:14You look like a guy who cleans a pool.
00:38:17You?
00:38:18She's right.
00:38:19We got to get you looking sharp.
00:38:21Like Angie's idea of an entrepreneur.
00:38:24Let's go shopping.
00:38:25Come on.
00:38:29Doing this for you, Kev.
00:38:30Come on.
00:38:31Is it true what they say about guys with medium-sized feet?
00:38:41Zade, pick out a pair if you want.
00:38:44No, thanks.
00:38:44Not really my style.
00:38:46Should I have gotten Carl a suit?
00:38:48You know what?
00:38:49I haven't heard from Sandy.
00:38:52All right, so when she opens the door, what should I say again?
00:38:57You're telling her that you've succeeded.
00:38:59Okay?
00:39:00You're going to show her the check and that you're sorry.
00:39:04That's...
00:39:04That's too strange.
00:39:07All right.
00:39:09Tell her that without her, you're nothing but a shadow.
00:39:13Tell her that your heart is like a mauled hedgehog
00:39:18smashed up against the blades of a lawnmower.
00:39:23Here, Zade.
00:39:24Keep trying, Sandy, will you?
00:39:26Here, let me check this out.
00:39:27Hank, you need a new phone.
00:39:30Yeah, I'd go down half a size, Kev.
00:39:32I mean, it all depends on your choice of sock.
00:39:34Yeah, we'll go down half a size.
00:39:36I agree.
00:39:37Here.
00:39:39What would you say?
00:39:40Seriously, Zade.
00:39:42Maybe don't talk about yourself so much.
00:39:45Tell her that she's your miracle.
00:39:47That without her, your life means nothing.
00:39:50Tell her that she's more beautiful than the full moon in Montana
00:39:55or the poetry of Rumi or any other beautiful thing man or nature has yet made.
00:40:02Tell her that she's a genius of Einsteinian proportions
00:40:08and that she's sexy and does sexy well
00:40:12and that you really, really, really love her.
00:40:18Well, Zade, that was really, really good.
00:40:28That's an handsome fit, sir.
00:40:30Great.
00:40:30We'll take him.
00:40:36Let's run for it.
00:40:38Stop.
00:40:39Wait.
00:40:41Come on, people.
00:40:42Come on.
00:40:43We got this.
00:41:09We got this.
00:41:11We got this.
00:41:12It wasn't the clerk's fault.
00:41:28Those plastic tags are a nuisance.
00:41:32What a straight razor gives us a concealed weapon.
00:41:35I have a collection.
00:41:37That's an antique.
00:41:38That doesn't mean that you can carry it.
00:41:40I sincerely apologize, officers.
00:41:42Look, you have to understand where we're coming from.
00:41:45You were running through a place of business with a weapon.
00:41:48It was all part of a romantic gesture.
00:41:50My, uh, my friend here lost his true love.
00:41:53We're giving him a makeover.
00:41:54He's gonna win her back.
00:41:56Come on, guys.
00:41:57Officer, I'm not against romantic gestures, per se.
00:42:03It's true.
00:42:05He's not.
00:42:06Officer, it was a misunderstanding.
00:42:07Come on.
00:42:11I'm moved by your argument.
00:42:13So I'm gonna let you go with a warning.
00:42:16But we're gonna keep the razor.
00:42:18Thank you, officers.
00:42:20Give love, get love, sir.
00:42:21Can I give you a hug?
00:42:31Now that's unfortunate.
00:42:33I can't believe they couldn't look the other way.
00:42:49Drugs are drugs.
00:42:50They couldn't have looked the other way.
00:42:51You're such a f***ing prude.
00:42:54Where are we going?
00:42:55I need shoes.
00:42:57Hang out in the car.
00:42:58Where are we?
00:42:59Just wait in the car.
00:43:00I'll be back in a minute.
00:43:03Zade?
00:43:05Is this your brothel?
00:43:06No one says brothel.
00:43:07Jesus, Zade, what the hell are you doing?
00:43:31Come on, Zade.
00:43:37Jesus, throw at it.
00:44:07Where are you, Zade?
00:44:28May I help you?
00:44:30Oh, well.
00:44:33I'm here to see Zade.
00:44:35Zade?
00:44:36Yeah, Zade, uh, I think she works here.
00:44:40Well, that's funny, because it's just, uh, my family, as far as I know, and while some might call that work, I...
00:44:47Sorry, um, must be the wrong address.
00:44:51Kev?
00:44:53I told you to wait in the car.
00:44:55I'll be down in a minute.
00:45:00I think you should come in.
00:45:01Okay.
00:45:13Lemon juice, sugar, and water.
00:45:16Tell me if it needs anything else.
00:45:20And how exactly do you know Millie?
00:45:24Millie?
00:45:24Uh, Millicent, my daughter.
00:45:29Oh, um, we met through a mutual friend.
00:45:33Mutual friend?
00:45:34Uh, work friend, really.
00:45:36Oh, Kevin, are you a writer, too?
00:45:40No.
00:45:41Well, what is it exactly that you do?
00:45:46Um, in construction?
00:45:48My daughter knows people in construction.
00:45:51Well, our mutual friend threw a party, and then, and Millie was there.
00:45:57Was Monique there?
00:45:59No.
00:46:01Monique is a friend of Millie's.
00:46:04Great tits.
00:46:05I'm actually getting out of construction.
00:46:08Uh, I'm gonna start my own business.
00:46:11I'm gonna call it Trampoline World.
00:46:12It's gonna be this amusement park in the warehouse district.
00:46:15We're gonna have Sky Slam basketball, uh, foam pits.
00:46:20We actually have a lot of...
00:46:20Kevin, there's nothing wrong with construction.
00:46:23We should split.
00:46:25If you like, I can send you some literature.
00:46:26Trampolining is one of the fastest-growing sports in America.
00:46:29It actually just got featured in Delta's Sky Magazine.
00:46:33Our friend's been arrested.
00:46:34We should call it.
00:46:35Arrested?
00:46:35For what?
00:46:36Drugs.
00:46:38Millie has such colorful friends.
00:46:41What's Monique doing these days?
00:46:43Okay, let's go.
00:46:44Thank you, Pat, for the lemon stuff.
00:46:50Shut up.
00:46:51I didn't say anything.
00:46:52You were thinking it.
00:46:54Nope.
00:46:55I'm not a liar.
00:46:56I just don't feel the need to tell everyone everything.
00:46:59Okay.
00:47:01Don't judge me.
00:47:02I'm not.
00:47:04You have a beautiful home.
00:47:09It's really nice.
00:47:15You really shouldn't be doing this, you know?
00:47:17I mean, any guy with half a brain would call you back.
00:47:22You could have, like, a really great job.
00:47:25I have a job.
00:47:27Yeah, but it's dirty.
00:47:31It's not like you need the money.
00:47:33You are judging me, asshole.
00:47:35The only reason you're going through with any of this is because of that check.
00:47:38Oh, and who is it that charges $1,000 an hour for their company?
00:47:42Parasite.
00:47:43Yeah, well, at least I'm not pretending to be something I'm not.
00:47:45Pretending to be some kind of hooker or something?
00:47:48It's rude to hookers.
00:47:49People don't work at McDonald's because they like it.
00:47:52It's a job.
00:47:53You're slumming it, and it's bullshit.
00:47:54I'm going to get Hank driving him home, and then this whole fucking shit is over.
00:48:04Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
00:48:08Let's try that one more time.
00:48:09Okay.
00:48:10Okay, one, two, three, four.
00:48:12Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
00:48:17We're good at this, man.
00:48:18We should take this on the road.
00:48:20You and me.
00:48:20Hey, isn't there something we could do to expedite this?
00:48:29And who might you be?
00:48:32Um, I was hired by Hank.
00:48:38Lawyer?
00:48:39No, personal advisor.
00:48:42Well, you need a law degree to be a personal advisor in here.
00:48:45Why don't you take a seat, and the judge will see him in an hour or so.
00:48:49Keep smiling.
00:48:54No physical body contact beyond initial and departing embrace will be tolerated and will result in termination of the visit.
00:49:06Home and serve to the special house unit must be appropriately attired.
00:49:11You like barbecue?
00:49:13Might as well talk since we're stuck here.
00:49:16Her name's Sunny.
00:49:18I'm Zade.
00:49:19Hey, man.
00:49:21Why don't you just give her a break, okay?
00:49:22She's had a tough day.
00:49:24Zade, why not come sit here?
00:49:25I'm fine.
00:49:30She's fine.
00:49:33So, I got this sauce called.
00:49:36Smoking, not broken.
00:49:39Hey, don't, don't do that.
00:49:40Don't touch your leg.
00:49:41It's not okay to touch people you don't know.
00:49:43Occasional hand-holding is acceptable.
00:49:46Whatever, I didn't even know y'all was together.
00:49:51You don't have to be together to care about each other.
00:49:56I'm waiting in the car.
00:50:02It's not okay to touch people you don't know.
00:50:08So, what kind of stuff do you write?
00:50:09Stories, short ones mostly.
00:50:16I'm writing one now about this woman
00:50:18who's having an affair with this guy
00:50:20and then finds out that she's only one of many.
00:50:24It's called The Other, Other Woman.
00:50:29I think you'd be a good writer.
00:50:33You do?
00:50:34Sure.
00:50:34Why?
00:50:36Because you take chances.
00:50:37You say things other people won't.
00:50:39You're different.
00:50:41You should feel good about who you are.
00:50:46It's the death of romance.
00:50:50We're living through the murder of romance.
00:50:53Get me?
00:50:53I get you.
00:50:54Yeah.
00:50:56When you're in love,
00:50:57people do things they normally wouldn't.
00:50:59I was sitting there imagining
00:51:01the rest of our lives together.
00:51:02We get a villa in Italy.
00:51:05She makes the lunch.
00:51:07I till the land.
00:51:08Our kids are running through the sunflower field.
00:51:14That's beautiful.
00:51:16Yeah.
00:51:21There'll be trampolines everywhere.
00:51:23People bounces around.
00:51:24Just good, clean American fun, you know?
00:51:26You're a very strange person, Kevin McDonald.
00:51:33There's going to be a juice bar over there.
00:51:35A juice bar is not sexy.
00:51:37It's not meant to be sexy.
00:51:38Well, then people aren't going to come.
00:51:40What are you calling it?
00:51:42Trampoline world.
00:51:45No, you're not calling it that.
00:51:48All right.
00:51:49What would you call it?
00:51:50Call it tramps.
00:51:52I like it.
00:51:53Get one of those fake fluorescent signs.
00:51:56Maybe a bouncing stiletto,
00:51:58slowly filling up with champagne.
00:52:00Nice.
00:52:02You know?
00:52:02And light bulbs for bubbles.
00:52:04You see, you are a good writer.
00:52:06No, I'm not.
00:52:07I just write stuff that happens.
00:52:10Hmm.
00:52:14So you're the other, other woman?
00:52:18Don't look at me with sad dog eyes.
00:52:20I knew what I was doing.
00:52:23I bet it's real interesting.
00:52:26How would you know?
00:52:29Oh, right, because roofers don't read.
00:52:31You're rude and angry and really, really spoiled.
00:52:38But you're not sad.
00:52:44And you're narcissistic and indulgent.
00:52:50But you're not stupid.
00:52:58What is that?
00:53:01Harmonica.
00:53:03Really?
00:53:03Mm-hmm.
00:53:04But it's so small.
00:53:06Does it play?
00:53:07Yeah.
00:53:08It does.
00:53:11Oh, wow.
00:53:15We should probably go get Hank.
00:53:19Okay.
00:53:20Anybody got the time over there?
00:53:28Working out there?
00:53:29So, what's a prolapse?
00:53:46It's when either your anus or your vagina
00:53:55are pushed inside out of your body.
00:54:02That's a good word.
00:54:03I've never had any kids.
00:54:21I always wanted them, though.
00:54:22How come?
00:54:24No, she wanted to wait.
00:54:26How dumb am I, huh?
00:54:28You know, I was never once unfaithful to her.
00:54:30Not once.
00:54:33I loved her wholly, unabashedly from the first day I met her.
00:54:37She was my everything.
00:54:41Did she find someone else?
00:54:44Yeah.
00:54:45Oh, yeah.
00:54:46Oh, yeah.
00:54:47She said I was an emotional cripple.
00:54:50But she couldn't remember what she loved about me in the first place.
00:54:52People make out like women are the romantics, but it's not true.
00:54:56Well, we're the knights, the last of the noble breed.
00:54:59I'm going to die today.
00:55:06Who's after you?
00:55:09No one.
00:55:13Well, you let me know if somebody's after you, because I got a guy for that.
00:55:19Landry!
00:55:21Well, looks like I'm sprung, kid.
00:55:25Good luck to you.
00:55:27Keep it in your pants.
00:55:29Thank you, sir.
00:55:33Mes amis, superbe.
00:55:35Salut, monsieur. On y va.
00:55:36The happy band are back together.
00:55:38Was it terrible in jail?
00:55:40Oh, it was okay. I met a nice kid.
00:55:42Oh, yeah? What was it in for?
00:55:45He masturbated on some girl on a bus.
00:55:48Jesus.
00:55:49Yeah, he got carried away.
00:55:51I'd rather someone put cum on me than a booger.
00:55:54What?
00:55:55It's sterile. It's straight from the testes.
00:55:57Booger's a waste.
00:55:58I bet you think a blowjob is fine, but you wouldn't blow your nose in a girl's mouth.
00:56:03Enough. Let's go find this Annie.
00:56:06Let's just go home, Hank. I think we're done for today.
00:56:09No, no way. I'm not giving up now.
00:56:10Hank, I really don't mind.
00:56:12Well, I do mind. I just wasted half my day in jail. I'm finding Annie.
00:56:17Angie.
00:56:17It doesn't matter what her name is. I'm finding her.
00:56:19I mean, we could just take, like, a small break.
00:56:22No.
00:56:23Look, something's got to work here, okay?
00:56:26I mean, love, it has to mean something.
00:56:29I need to know that in this world, it's not just pure, disappointing shit.
00:56:34And I don't care what you two do, but I'm going to Annie's.
00:56:37I got a plan.
00:56:42Uncle Leigh.
00:56:43Just up here on the left.
00:56:55Maybe we should just ring the doorbell.
00:56:57He said she won't talk to you.
00:56:59Then what are we doing here?
00:57:00Waiting.
00:57:02For what?
00:57:03For someone to let us in.
00:57:05Burglars don't have balloons.
00:57:09I gotta piss.
00:57:11Hold on to these, will you?
00:57:13What?
00:57:15This is a bad idea.
00:57:17Why?
00:57:18You don't even like her.
00:57:19You're just caught up in the obsession.
00:57:23You think you're in love, but it's just this stab of rejection.
00:57:29Do you want to be with her?
00:57:31Really, with her?
00:57:41I'm going.
00:57:43Why?
00:57:45What's so great about her?
00:57:49You don't have anything to say?
00:57:52Okay.
00:57:54Well, good luck with that.
00:58:01See?
00:58:02Magic.
00:58:03Well, hello there.
00:58:04How are you?
00:58:05Oh, is it my birthday?
00:58:06It is.
00:58:06Happy birthday, darling.
00:58:08Hey, I don't think I want the balloons.
00:58:11You're losing me.
00:58:12Come on.
00:58:15Is that it?
00:58:18I'm going knockdown.
00:58:19I know.
00:58:20I got this.
00:58:23Be firm.
00:58:25Be aggressive, Kev.
00:58:26Angie.
00:58:33Oh.
00:58:35What are you doing here?
00:58:36Okay, listen.
00:58:38I've come to tell you that I think that you're like sunsets in Montana.
00:58:42Oh, God.
00:58:43Kevin.
00:58:44You're like...
00:58:44No, listen.
00:58:45Just hear me out.
00:58:46Who is that?
00:58:49I'm no one.
00:58:51I'm proud of you.
00:58:54You're like the poetry of Rummy.
00:58:56And you have Einsteinian proportions.
00:58:58And I like spending time with you.
00:59:01And I treasure you.
00:59:03Hey, Angie.
00:59:05Five-letter word starts with an L.
00:59:07Insect Steve.
00:59:08Sounds like Steve.
00:59:13Steve.
00:59:19Steve.
00:59:21What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:25Crossword?
00:59:26What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:27What are you doing here?
00:59:29What are you doing here, Steve?
00:59:30She called me.
00:59:31She needs some help with her track lighting.
00:59:32Just tell him.
00:59:34Listen.
00:59:36It just happened, Kev.
00:59:37You're sleeping with her?
00:59:38Listen, just a misunderstanding.
00:59:40Yeah.
00:59:41He is.
00:59:43We're in love.
00:59:44Oh, you're in love with her.
00:59:45No.
00:59:47We made some bad decisions and...
00:59:49Why didn't you tell me?
00:59:50Listen, we didn't want to hurt you.
00:59:53You said she wasn't good enough for me.
00:59:55And you're right.
01:00:01You're right.
01:00:02And you.
01:00:04I didn't mean all that shit about Montana, okay?
01:00:06Someone told me to say that.
01:00:08And I got a blowjob from that stripper
01:00:11because I didn't love you enough.
01:00:12I think it's a bit of...
01:00:24Stupid.
01:00:27Stupid!
01:00:31Give me the keys.
01:00:32Bro, I'm so sorry.
01:00:34Listen, I'm gonna find you the money for Trampoline World, alright?
01:00:36I think it's a...
01:00:38Just give me the keys.
01:00:43Here.
01:00:44You can never be a part of Trampoline World.
01:00:57Hello. Bet you didn't think you'd hear from me today.
01:01:05I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I just... I miss you.
01:01:09And I want you to know that you were right about me being in a wheelchair emotionally.
01:01:22I've learned now that I wasn't good enough for you, Karen.
01:01:27And, uh, I'm not even good enough for this world anymore.
01:01:31Don't go into the red room.
01:01:33Okay?
01:01:34I keep all my records in the bureau, so you can have everything that you want.
01:01:38Uh, take anything, leave what you don't want.
01:01:48Uh, Hank's phone?
01:01:49Hi. It's me.
01:01:50I am a giant asshole.
01:01:52I made a huge mistake, and I'd like to take it all back.
01:01:56Is Hank with you?
01:01:57I realize now that you are more interesting than anything in Montana.
01:02:02And than any movie or any poetry written at...
01:02:05Just shut up! Where's Hank?
01:02:07What?
01:02:08Something's wrong with Hank.
01:02:09What's wrong with Hank?
01:02:11You have to find him, Kevin. He's gonna kill himself.
01:02:14What?
01:02:15I found a video on his phone. He's gonna do it. Now. Today.
01:02:18No, that doesn't make any sense. He was happy when we left.
01:02:21He thinks Angie and I got back together.
01:02:23That's worse. That's what he wanted.
01:02:25Go to the red room. He said not to go into the red room.
01:02:36Hank!
01:02:37Oh, my God. Hank!
01:02:38Ah!
01:02:39Ah!
01:02:40Ah!
01:02:41Where is Hank?
01:02:42Carl, he might hurt himself, okay? I need to know where Hank is.
01:02:58He's taking a nap. Just like everybody else! Just tell me where he is!
01:03:02Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
01:03:04Shut up!
01:03:06What day is it?
01:03:08Frightened.
01:03:10Oh, no, no, no.
01:03:11Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, God. That can't be good.
01:03:17Carl, where's Hank?
01:03:19I told you, mother .
01:03:21He's taking a nap!
01:03:27Hank!
01:03:29Hank!
01:03:30Hank!
01:03:31Are you out there?
01:03:48I'm fine.
01:03:50Wanted to get a little air is all.
01:03:54I'm coming out!
01:03:57It's a long way down, buddy.
01:03:59Hank, I'm a f***ing roofer.
01:04:03Good point.
01:04:06Just...
01:04:08want to talk.
01:04:15It's been a frantic last few days, Kevin.
01:04:18I'm not gonna kill myself, if that's what you're thinking.
01:04:24That's good.
01:04:26I just, uh...
01:04:28I wanted to hang out for a while.
01:04:30You did invite me to this party, remember?
01:04:32How'd it go with Angie?
01:04:33She was having sex with my brother.
01:04:43What?
01:04:45That's basically it.
01:04:48Jesus.
01:04:50God, I am a waste of space, huh?
01:04:53And this.
01:04:55This pen.
01:04:57Remember that?
01:04:58I stole it from that nice nurse.
01:05:00I mean, I am a f***ing asshole.
01:05:02That's not true.
01:05:04It is true.
01:05:05I'm a dark hole.
01:05:06I don't make anyone feel good.
01:05:08Hank, you probably just need some sleep.
01:05:10Why don't you just come back inside?
01:05:11Kevin.
01:05:19You're a good guy.
01:05:21You are.
01:05:23But we're not even really friends.
01:05:25And how sad is that?
01:05:28Look who's at my party, for example.
01:05:31Got a bunch of guys I've barely met,
01:05:33girls that I've paid for, and Carl.
01:05:36Carl, for Christ's sakes.
01:05:38I didn't want this.
01:05:46Just wanted to go out quietly.
01:05:48Have something good happen.
01:05:50Before I left.
01:05:53Something...
01:05:54Something good is happening.
01:05:56What the f*** are you doing up there?
01:05:58Zay!
01:06:01You wanna have sex with me?
01:06:04Get the f*** out from there!
01:06:05I should let you know that I'm not hung up on Angie anymore.
01:06:11Think I might love...
01:06:13Millicent.
01:06:17Why?
01:06:19She's funny.
01:06:21Smart.
01:06:24Brave.
01:06:26And?
01:06:28And beautiful.
01:06:29You're really beautiful.
01:06:30Even when you're being disgusting.
01:06:32You're an idiot.
01:06:36I know.
01:06:38I'd still really like to have sex with you though.
01:06:41Not gonna happen.
01:06:44Dammit Zay!
01:06:48Stop being such a f***ing prove!
01:06:54Okay.
01:06:56See?
01:06:58Just come back inside so Zayde and I can have sexual intercourse.
01:07:03You're just saying that to make me feel better.
01:07:06Well...
01:07:09If you don't come back inside and you jump, Zayde and I definitely won't have sex.
01:07:15How about it?
01:07:18He jumps?
01:07:20You still gonna do me?
01:07:22Definitely not.
01:07:27All right.
01:07:29Enough of this s***, huh?
01:07:31I don't wanna drink anyway.
01:07:33This beer is flattened.
01:07:34What?
01:07:36Wait. Hold on.
01:07:38Help!
01:07:40Hey!
01:07:44Hold me up, you son of a b***h!
01:07:47Hold on!
01:07:49Oh!
01:07:50Hold on!
01:07:51Hold on!
01:08:14Is he asleep?
01:08:16I don't think so.
01:08:17There's clean sheets in the walk-in closet.
01:08:34Swiss cotton.
01:08:47Are you sure you want me to do this?
01:08:53Oh, okay.
01:08:55We broke the curse.
01:08:57So can I call you?
01:08:59Why do you need to call me?
01:09:01So we can see each other again.
01:09:03It'll cost you.
01:09:04How much was the day passed at Tramps again?
01:09:05Nothing bad happened.
01:09:06No.
01:09:08I think you should get there.
01:09:09I think you should get there.
01:09:10Okay.
01:09:11Okay.
01:09:13If it's a stripper, don't let her in.
01:09:14If it's a stripper, don't let her in.
01:09:15Okay.
01:09:16I think you should get there.
01:09:17Holy f***!
01:09:18Oh, okay.
01:09:19Holy f***!
01:09:20What?
01:09:21I don't want to call you.
01:09:22I don't want to call you a little costume.
01:09:24How much is the day passed at Tramps again?
01:09:28Nothing bad happened.
01:09:29No.
01:09:35I think you should get there.
01:09:37Okay.
01:09:38If it's a stripper, don't let her in.
01:09:41Okay.
01:09:46Holy f***!
01:09:48Shit!
01:09:49God, you okay?
01:09:51I'm okay.
01:09:52I'm okay.
01:09:53I'm okay.
01:09:54Okay.
01:09:55Okay.
01:09:56I'm okay.
01:09:57I'm not cursed.
01:09:58I'm not cursed.
01:09:59I'm not cursed.
01:10:00I'm not cursed.
01:10:05Hello?
01:10:07I pressed the bell.
01:10:17I'm not cursed.
01:10:18I'm not cursed.
01:10:19I'm not cursed.
01:10:20I'm not cursed.
01:10:21I'm not cursed.
01:10:22I'm not cursed.
01:10:23I'm not cursed.
01:10:24I'm not cursed.
01:10:25You did press the bell.
01:10:26How are you doing, buddy?
01:10:27Good.
01:10:28Good.
01:10:29Good.
01:10:30Always a pleasure.
01:10:31Yes, Tom.
01:10:32Okay, let's do it.
01:10:33Hi, honey.
01:10:34Hi.
01:10:35How are you?
01:10:36Good.
01:10:37Oh, that was a good party.
01:10:41That guy's married?
01:10:42Happily.
01:10:44It's classic romance.
01:10:54You look like the guy who cleans the pool.
01:10:58Are you okay up on those heels?
01:11:02I don't know.
01:11:08I hate lines.
01:11:10Girls never have trouble at the door.
01:11:13Maybe you can help me get in.
01:11:15Parasite.
01:11:17Tourist.
01:11:31You can help me get in.
01:11:45Yes, Tom isPlayer.
01:11:48But his calories never have trouble at the tip.
01:11:51We love you, Tom's walnut.
01:11:52I'm a lifter
01:11:54I'm a lifter
01:11:59I'm having sex
01:12:14Guaranteed
01:12:16My better self
01:12:21I just won't eat
01:12:23I'll pack my bags
01:12:28With jumbo rubbers
01:12:30I'll meet the boys
01:12:35To drink the boys
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