- 9 months ago
Mom says her kids make their own decisions and dont want to hug elders on the holidays because "they dont know these people." Wow... the audience responds.
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00:00all right this morning's confession is a little weird uh because we're learning a little something
00:09different it says dear freak show i gotta tell you november 1st now starts my frustration season
00:16i am married into a huge family uh my husband has one my husband is one of eight kids and his mom
00:26is one of 12 so holidays are packed these are old school uncles and aunties and everybody who wants
00:35a hug from my children but because we've raised our kids in a more free-ranged approach uh since
00:42they were born they get to make a lot of their own choices and one unpopular one with our extended
00:49family is the hugging my children don't know these people like that as well as we do to be honest we
00:56don't really know them that well we just know that they are family uh going from oh this is your
01:02great uncle to come here let me touch you is something my oldest has explained he doesn't like
01:07so he says no and it always turns into a huge fight the entire holiday uh for the last two years has
01:15been adults chasing them saying you better come give me a hug the annoying intense part of it it
01:23makes me not want to deal with it at all i'd much rather have a holiday with our household
01:27and not the holiday visiting with family that we don't really know it's just annoying yeah okay
01:35have you ever heard of free-range kids yeah what the hell like what's the free-range kid um it's
01:42almost like a montessori kind of uh that's a like a type of like the school the montessori school yeah
01:49so it's it's very much like free thinking like they have certain schedules but if the kid doesn't want
01:55to learn or uh study that that subject at the moment they are allowed to go do their own thing
02:00until they're ready to join the class basically essentially and it's kind of it's similar in your
02:05household it's kind of like free-range not telling the kid what to do um so the kid gets to make the
02:10rules not all of it you know because you don't want them to hurt themselves or harm themselves but
02:14yeah you you allow them to become their own person let me explain something it's a free-range i ain't
02:20never heard i've heard a free-range chicken yes that's think of it like that okay but that just
02:26means that you ain't giving no kid no hormones that's what i thought it was you might be organic
02:30and you just let it instead of being in a chicken coop it just walk around outside in the yard in the barn
02:35it creates more independence and with unstructured uh like schedule basically all right let me tell
02:42you this same like some new parenting type stuff because me as a kid if i ever was to tell my parents
02:49no right what would happen or not even your parent anybody in your family who your mom respects
02:57aunties uncles what all these people she's talking about if you went to a family reunion with your mama
03:01and and you and somebody's like oh come here i love you look just like your daddy come here
03:06and you're like ah don't touch me i don't know you old man oh yeah i'm getting beat for just that
03:10on sight and this is different the other thing too like what happened to respecting your elders like
03:17no matter who the family member is you're supposed to free-range feel about that i think it's important
03:22to teach your kids that they can have control over their physical boundaries can your kids say no
03:27somebody just texting somebody just texted said can your kids say no touching is this person says it
03:34best touching is about your person why can't your kids say no we teach them to say no when people want
03:41to touch them why not this could be turned into a dangerous lesson um if it's not handled correctly
03:47about consent in general seriously about boundaries and certain things if a child does not want to be
03:52touched by uh an adult that they aren't around all the time that they barely know
03:56why should they be forced to hug somebody that they don't know that could be detrimental in the
04:01future for them that's your that's your that's your suburb side speaker you know how we say you
04:06got a card and you can come to the cookout you can't come to the cookout i'm not talking about
04:09like great grandma i'm not talking about that everybody everybody in there who's old who's older
04:15gets a hug yeah and you don't want to but it's your job don't matter who it is and if they give you
04:21a christmas gift hell yeah you got a hug and in a spanish family yeah you are taught to greet
04:28everybody everybody as soon as you walk in i can't just say hi why am i forced i'm just asking i don't
04:34know yeah stand behind your mama's leg when they say hey say hi to your auntie huh she's gonna be
04:39like kids i like that go and say hi go over there say hi kiss your abuela like i mean all right so wait
04:44so free range parenting according to this yeah says a style of raising children that emphasizes
04:50teaching skills and them allowing them to increase their independence and autonomy with uh rather than
04:57constant direct supervision so these kids just run around it has an example saying your kid can go to
05:03the store by themselves and not tell you that they went to the store yeah excuse me i think it's
05:08different are you okay i'm dying because of this it says free range equals wps okay i mean yeah
05:19white folk that's what he's saying all right yeah no i'm not talking about necessarily free range i'm
05:24just talking about hugging in general i'm not into like uh the whole free range kind of thing i think
05:28that uh scheduling is very healthy for kids and it's something that they can look forward to in the
05:33future makes them feel comfortable when it comes to hugging i feel like forcing children to like
05:37endure affection teaches them a dangerous lesson this is this is a lot there are a lot of people
05:41who are responding to this this is crazy i mean i wait we'll take a break and come back uh and hit
05:46some of these texts because we're we're learning today all right freak show wild 94 one we got a bunch
05:52of texts that are coming in and a couple calls what we got this is uh all this stuff sounds about white
05:57um out of the 813 i'm a black woman from a family in the south and definitely grew up on the hug
06:04everybody's situation but i do not feel that way now i think my kids should have body autonomy i do
06:10not think that there's a a link not saying that there is a percentage or anything but there should
06:15be boundaries especially if you look around now aunties and uncles and whomever uh could be touching
06:21your kids there's a lot of situations like that a lot of secrets and families i get it all right let's
06:28see we got mo in tampa mo what's good oh my god oh my god oh my god what that's what i said
06:35free range mo this is free range are you crazy free range she needs to tell her children hey
06:45your dad's got a big family we're going over there shake hands hug and get it over with because if i use
06:54my free range and put my foot on your neck then i got to go jail and go down the class and all of
07:00that down free range really yes you're free to do anything you want when you arrange your schedule
07:09at your job right yeah but but while you in here being this kid situation you listen to us and you
07:15go hug your nana that's what you do that's right i'll be right there give her a hug and keep it moving
07:20there you go i i mean i that's where i was raised but i'm telling mo i'm telling you though there are
07:25a lot of people who are texting in saying that we do have to protect our children and they do
07:30this word body autonomy i'll tell you i was today years old when i read that because i have never heard
07:37the word body autonomy though the term before it's your choice so a lot of people are saying your kids
07:42get a choice yeah yeah of course i don't want no you know pervert touching on my kid but i'm
07:50introducing you to nana and your family and i'm going to be right there with you i ain't telling
07:56y'all to go in the room and hug and all that there i'm going to be right there i'm going to hug you
08:01hug your dad gonna hug keep it moving yeah yeah there you go i'm with you i was raised that way
08:06so mo i got you i appreciate it uh let's see here i got shakora hey how you doing this morning
08:11hello how you doing this morning good good now now with free free range kids is what we apparently
08:18uh are fighting about in here um what you got to add to this okay free range okay kid is not the
08:25world kids expressing how they feel but in a respectful way my kids ain't got a hug nobody who
08:30they don't want to hug i'm not from the suburbs i'm straight from west tampa my mama ain't make me hug
08:34nobody i'm not sending my kids hug nobody i don't know those people hey good morning hey how you
08:38doing oh hey uncle tom what's up what's going on hey how you doing hey baby girl all that hugging
08:43and kissing them achieve no i'm good no what do you mean no i'm good but even as family but like if
08:48this all your family in there and everybody getting the plate and we all sitting around and the
08:52temptations playing on the christmas album you know i'm saying and auntie walk in she got a hug
08:58every child in there no but once again all those kids don't know those said aunties
09:03if my children don't know you and they feel uncomfortable i'm not going to make my kids
09:07they can speak being respectful is still speaking but they don't have to hug them
09:11you don't have to hug i do i have uncle i don't want nobody hugging and kissing all over my cheek
09:15no that's no that i'm good it's uncomfortable i can still be respectful i can still be respectful
09:21saying the oj's and have dinner and play board games and all that that's that's been respectful
09:25just because i don't want to hug you is being disrespectful i don't have to hug you
09:29i agree hello how you doing i told hey hey hey how you doing how was the mountains last year
09:36like we could have a conversation still be respectful but you ain't got to hug me i'm good
09:39that's funny i like you i appreciate it i like your curtains but don't hurt me
09:44somebody i see once in a year that's good enough hey how you doing you y'all call me on my birthday
09:51so i gotta hug you every christmas i'm good all right i appreciate it wow she i mean this is
10:00somebody says she sounds scarred you just don't i think it's just if it makes you feel uncomfortable
10:05have you ever hugged or been around somebody and you it gives you the ache like you just don't
10:09but it's not always the ache i mean this person said why are we sexualizing family hugs
10:13sure there are crazies out there but this is your family if the kids feel uncomfortable why
10:20maybe facilitate some family time so the kids know their extended family and are comfortable around
10:26the love and the people working on a relationship and building that trust is totally fine and then
10:31that will naturally happen but for me to force my kid to i mean with i don't like it to force them
10:36to hug somebody that they don't know it's just a different generational thing i i had to hug every
10:40person in that house and you know i mean davi for instance davi it was raised that way he in costa
10:47rica same way davi will not come into this studio without coming to address each person individually
10:54and every time he comes in it's like dap you up kiss you on the cheek what up big dog like come over
10:59here and do and everybody gets an individual greeting and then he goes into his davi isms because in a
11:05spanish household you're supposed to get the blessings from each person in the room and
11:10you're supposed to also acknowledge and then bless them as well that that's what i was always yeah
11:15but i but i'm telling you i know we got a lot of me we got a whole spanish station i don't see
11:18everybody do that i see him he consistently does that like joey's puerto rican joey walk joey walk
11:24here walk straight into the chop shop but it's just different it depends on how so i mean that might
11:30is i don't know if that's free range depends on their mood free range just sounds weird so if you just
11:34say hey your kids can make a choice then okay right but if we calling it free range because your kid i just
11:40told you if your kid walked by you in the hallway with a slushy yeah from 7 11 and you're like where
11:45you get that slushy oh i ran down the store to get it oh hell no right that's what free range is
11:51though yeah but that comes with like safety and you have to ask me before you leave the house i don't
11:56want to i don't want to find out that you left you didn't tell me free range is more like when it
12:00comes to schooling i guess i want my chicken free range but everything else i'm sorry y'all gotta be it we
12:05gotta we gotta treat this like it's 84 it sounds like a farm when you say that's what i'm saying
12:10if you ain't walking around eating seed off the ground in the backyard free range miss me with
12:14that i'm sorry my kids hugging everybody in the house hug all these necks because these necks ain't
12:19gonna all be here next year all these old people hug them and give them some love send them on the
12:24glory except for that weird uncle in the corner well the weird uncle with them with them jogging pants
12:29on that's different yeah he wears jogging pants all the time you gotta let it go orlando and the freak
12:34show thank you so much for watching we really appreciate you guys don't forget to like comment
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